The Avengers (1961) s02e24 Episode Script

1 (theme music playing) Man: 25 minutes, 25 minutes.
Change to line three.
Change now to line three.
(breathing heavily) He's back on two.
I wonder why.
Emergency.
Two is leaking.
Three, unsatisfactory.
Man: Moving to emergency.
Hurry, I can't breathe.
Man #2: Get on with it.
I can't have this run interrupted.
(gasps) (bell ringing in distance) Good morning, Steed.
Still on holiday? I was.
I suppose it's over now.
This man is Stephanopoulus, Andreas Stephanopoulus.
- A beachcomber? - A smuggler.
A seller of harmless if technically interesting postcards.
- Also - He lived around here, you know.
Also an agent Part-time, incompetent mercenary.
Plans of the latest battleship for a fiver.
(clicks tongue) Too bad.
He was a shallow diver.
One of the best, they tell me.
Aqua-Lung.
When he worked at all, it was teaching or salvage, yet he died of nitrogen embolism.
- The bends.
- Why? Trying for the record? Going too deep? According to the surgeon, the degree of damage shows that he went to something over 100 fathoms.
100 fathoms? Apart from being mad, he must've been a superman to get down that far.
- Who found the body? - A friend of his, another diver.
A man called Jackson.
- Another part-time agent? - Yes.
There were four of them, all friends, very close, all the same sort of character.
According to Jackson, this one was dropped overboard from a yacht.
Huge thing.
Belongs to a man called Mason.
- Archipelago Mason? - Yes.
We've known that he's been working on something unusual on board his ship for, oh, a couple of years now.
You're going to find out what.
Do you think he found out? Mm, that would explain his getting into the water, all right.
But it doesn't explain how he got the bends.
You have to come up alive for the bends, you follow me? Mm.
You want me aboard the yacht.
Right.
Try to find his friends.
They call themselves the Frogs.
(music playing) (chatter) Mason: Thank you, Countess.
It was a pleasure to see you once more.
Happy birthday, Mason, you old rascal.
Bracken, my dear Bracken.
Thank you so much.
And this is? Natilla.
We met in Cervinia.
Oh, I congratulate you, Bracken, my dear.
(laughs) (sighs) You know, it is very wicked of you to pretend it's your birthday.
I know it is isn't.
Oh, Anna, don't give me away.
I'm enjoying myself.
- How do you like her? - She's lovely.
Anna, I told you about Miss Smith.
How I flew her out to meet our boat at Bari and sing for us? Oh, you make me sound like a crate of oranges.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm afraid that sometimes money makes one forget one's manners, isn't that so, Anna? Not often.
To do you credit, Mason, not often.
Not nearly as often as the Layabouts? Oh, but cheerful layabouts.
Take a good look around, Miss Smith.
Since you're working your passage, you're nearly the only one.
My friends, all of 'em Pelago, if you're going to talk the philosophy of riches again, I shall have to leave you.
- Will you excuse me? - Of course.
Well, how do you like my ship? It's not bad, is it? (laughs) I suppose it's not bad.
You know, my father had boats.
I was born on one, as a matter of fact.
- Oh? - Barges it was great fun.
I expect it was.
I too have barges.
Oh? In England? No, on the canals of Europe France, Belgium, Germany.
- How many have you got? - Oh, I don't know.
About 300.
(whistles) - Would you like one? - What? A barge to remind you of your childhood.
You shall have one for singing so well.
Hey, y-you're joking, of course.
Of course.
I'm afraid I have to leave you now.
Your cabin is comfortable? Oh, marvelous, thanks, yes.
Good, if you have any wish, anything at all, just tell the steward.
Excuse me.
Well Hello.
You're English, I think.
I'm Risto.
It's short for Aristos.
It's Greek, a Greek name.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Ooh, hang on.
I've got to go and sing, but I'll be right back.
Good.
Is it leaking? No, it's stopped now.
Of course, pressure's only 10 feet.
I want a dive check.
- When, tonight? - Yes.
Where was it leaking? Along the packing gland, through the cable.
It's a swine, really.
We'll never get any real depth.
What happened about Stephanopoulus? Nothing.
Nothing that would concern you.
- Let's leave it at that.
- Well, it wasn't my fault.
- I see.
- Oh, no, you don't.
You think I'm the traditional, cold-blooded scientist.
That a human life means no more to me than a guinea pig's.
Well, you're wrong.
I shall be making the next dive myself.
No, you won't.
I won't permit it.
Well, there you are.
You see, it's you who are cold-blooded.
You've invested money in this experiment.
You won't let me invest my life in case you lose.
I don't want to quarrel.
Idealists and moneymakers have always quarreled, isn't that so? A shotgun wedding? So you killed him with the best intentions.
- And I disposed of him.
- With the best intentions.
Nobody's allowed in this part of the ship.
I thought I made that clear to you.
Nobody? Oh, but surely that doesn't apply to me.
I can go where I like.
I am here for keeps.
You are here until I can persuade you to go back where you came from.
Oh, at least until you're tired of the whole business and go away.
Meanwhile, I admit you are on my back.
I don't allow drinking in here.
I do wish you'd get rid of her, Mason.
You know I don't like being disturbed.
Ah, the scientist.
You do not understand politics.
Oh, yes, I do.
Politics are unreliable and imprecise.
(laughing) You know, boy, I love you.
You know that? (laughing) Yes, you live in a dangerous world, though.
You should stick to science.
Then how many millions would I have made, huh? You're not diving tonight.
Only test it.
That's all right.
Good-bye.
Aren't you afraid somebody will stick a knife in your back someday? If I were to go around looking for all the people who wanted to stick a knife in my back, I wouldn't sleep at night.
How do you think I made all my money? By playing both sides against the middle.
That way, I've only been stabbed once.
Oh, who by? East or west? I don't know.
It was a long time ago.
Uh, it was a woman.
"Unreliable and imprecise.
" (music playing) Hush, little darlin', don't say a word Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird And if that mockingbird don't sing Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring And if that diamond ring is brass Mama's gonna buy you a looking glass And if that looking glass gets broke Mama's gonna buy you a billy goat And if that billy goat don't pull Mama's gonna buy you a cart and bull And if that cart and bull turn over Mama's gonna buy you a dog named Rover And if that dog named Rover won't bark Mama's gonna buy you a horse and cart And if that horse and cart fall down You'll still be the sweetest little baby in town.
(applause, cheering) I think your singing's the greatest.
(laughs) You know, I'm what you might call a real bastard.
- Eh? - My mother is Greek, Aristos is a Greek name, and my father is Swedish.
Aristos Sondqvist, that's me.
I got two grandmothers.
One is Swedish and the other one's English.
No, she's Irish, but they're the same thing anyway.
No, it's not, you know.
- No? - No, Irish isn't the same as English.
- Oh.
- You try it on an Irishman, you'll see.
Anyway, what about your grandfathers? - I don't know.
- (both laugh) - How'd you get on board? - Oh, I've got an agent.
I'm working.
Oh, the singing, yes.
Oh, the singing, yes.
And I've got to sing again in half an hour, so you hang onto your eardrums there.
- Good.
- Well, I must be off now.
Oh, where are you going? To practice my scales, but I'll be back.
Good.
You're not having much luck, are you, Risto? Oh, with the English, patience and persistence.
Persistence, Risto.
Is this what you have? - For the girls, yes.
- And for the job? - Nothing.
- (groans) (humming) Carry on and I promise not to look.
That's right, you won't.
- Out, O-U-T, out.
- Oh, no, not that, no.
Hold on a minute.
Look, now where am I supposed to go? Now, don't make me say anything I'd be sorry about.
What are you doing here? A bit complicated.
It's not, you know.
Get out.
Haven't you got a room of your own? Cabin no, I haven't.
I was gonna ask your hospitality.
What? Where do you think you're gonna stay, under the bed? - Bunk.
- Bed, I don't care if we are on a boat.
Ship.
No, a boat is something you row on the Serpentine.
You should know that, your seafaring antecedents.
- Oh! - Hey oh, wait a minute.
That was a narrow escape.
This better be good.
Now, come along.
You sit down, I'll tell you all about it.
I just had to get aboard this ship.
When I heard that Mason was bringing you out to entertain the guests, I thought I'd just, how do you call it? Stow away.
You feather.
You fixed it for a start, I'll bet you - I'll swear to you - I'll do the swearing.
I'm the one that's always getting lumbered, mate.
Hey, do you mean nobody knows you're on board? Oh, I could turn you in.
I could say I found you here in my cabin going through my wardrobe.
- I can see if I'm not - No, no, no, no.
Hang on a minute.
This sounds as though it might be very interesting.
Look, why did you have to get on board? You see, I just had to get to America.
We are going the wrong way.
Oh, so we are.
It's the Mediterranean.
How would you know? It's pitch-dark.
It's the stars.
Don't you consult your horoscope? Now, what's the time? 11:12.
Good grief, I'm supposed to be doing another number.
- Now, get out of here, please.
- All right.
I'll probably only be here when you're not.
Oh, thank you.
I won't get in your way.
I'm looking for a fellow on board here called Jackson.
Have you heard of him? He's supposed to be around.
No? Oh, if I do come back anytime, I'll just knock - like this.
- (knocks) Oh, give me another.
It'll be a bossa nova.
Now, no messing about.
One missing.
Remember, Risto? - I remember.
- I thought perhaps you had forgot.
What she is saying is you've been chasing the girls again instead of keeping your mind on the job.
And, so, because we seek revenge, does that mean to say we have to eat, sleep, drink revenge? No, but remember all the same.
I remember feeling, and there's a time for everything.
And she's a very pleasant girl to talk to.
She's not stuck-up, you know? "Oh, boy, oh, boy.
" None of that at all.
(laughs) All right, fine.
Andreas.
But where? Where did you get it? Beside my plate on the table.
One moment there was nothing there.
I looked away for a second.
When I looked back again, it was there.
Also this.
"Starboard promenade, 12:30.
" (chuckles) What do we do, eh? Well, I shall go there.
Not you.
Just me.
I told them about Andreas' death.
Oh, Jacko.
Well, somebody had to find out how he died, and I think perhaps they're sending someone to tell me.
A Mr.
Steed, I think.
Anyway, we shall see.
Tell him nothing unless he pays you.
We're not here to keep British Intelligence happy.
No, we are not.
Shall I keep this? Sure.
It's yours, Helena.
You keep it.
This Englishman, this Mr.
Steed, huh? - Mm-hmm.
- We don't want him interfering.
We have to dive tonight.
One of us me, I think.
I know what to look for.
What? It must be about halfway along the ship.
I think he has an underwater laboratory or a workshop or something where Andre was killed.
That's right.
You know, you're a very clever boy.
Just one thing I'm the better diver.
Oh, sure.
- Here.
- (laughs) Ha! - Come here! - (laughing) In one hour, I shall be over the side.
Now, how is it that a man with an English mother and a Portuguese father always wins? Gambler's luck.
He's always had it.
You should've learnt by now.
Jackson? That's right.
Did you send me this? Yes.
What do you want? You told a friend of mine about Andreas Stephanopoulus.
Are you English? (chuckles) Yes.
What have I got in my pocket? Oh, I see.
A small, gold frog, I should say.
How did Andreas die? The bends.
He went too deep.
Over a hundred fathoms down.
That's impossible.
He was the best of us.
He went too deep.
That's how he died.
I'm not gonna tell you all lies.
Thank you.
I must leave you now.
Oh, just one minute.
Who is "us"? I told your people Andre was dead.
Now you've told me how he died, so we are level.
(sonar pinging) There, it's ready for the test now.
Let's just try the hatch.
(switch clicks) (whirring) That's all right.
Open.
(switch clicks) (hatch mechanism whirring) Man on intercom: All stop, sir.
- Weather? - Calm sea.
Depth, uh, 30 fathoms.
Is that enough? - Oh, it's quite enough.
- 30 fathoms, bridge.
Drop anchors bow and kit.
We're doing a dive.
- Man on intercom: How long, sir? - How long do you need? - Four hours.
- Four hours, all right? Aye, aye, sir.
Just a check, mind.
You're not going down yourself.
Remember, it's my money.
(pinging continues) (grunts) - Is this him? - Yes, yes, that's him.
You, what are you doing here? Just taking a little exercise.
Well, go somewhere else for it.
She's right.
You're in our way.
What do you want me to do, jump overboard? Take him down to his cabin, Helena.
I'm afraid I haven't got one.
No? Well, where would you like to be taken? You cannot stay here.
And if you get in our way very much longer, we shall probably kill you.
Take him down below, Helena.
Everything you need is there.
Fine.
(wind blowing) - (music playing faintly) - (faint chatter) - Which way are we going? - In there.
Why don't you put that away? It'll look less conspicuous.
I won't hit you over the head with an ashtray or anything.
Go into the bar, order a drink.
Stay there for half an hour.
I shall be close, with this.
If you're a very good girl and put that away, I'll buy you one, too.
(clicks tongue) (groans) (music playing) (piano music playing) The lips that touch kippers shall never touch mine Though you cry like a child in despair Though you swear to be true till your beaver turns blue And the birds build their nests in your hair Though you own an old Ford and your life's well insured Still, it breaks my poor heart to decline Give me onions or armor, sing come, birdy, come But the lips that touch kippers The lips that touch kippers Kippers Shall never touch mine.
(audience applauding) Thank you.
- Was it all right, the number? - (whispers) Is anything the matter? Oh, I'm sorry.
It's just that I have to make an announcement.
(drumroll) My friends, please forgive me.
I shall only be a moment, but there is something I have to tell you, something very unpleasant.
There's been an accident last night aboard my ship.
A fatal accident.
A young man was drowned whilst skin-diving With an Aqua-Lung you understand.
He died at night, by himself, and he had told no one that he was doing so.
I'm I'm desolate that this should've happened to a guest of mine, and I'm only telling you this to warn you.
Nobody would want this to happen again.
Well, thank you, that is all.
Please, carry on.
I'm ever so sorry.
I didn't know.
- Who was it? - A young man called Jackson.
I didn't know him very well.
- Oh, my.
- You must try not to upset yourself.
Everyone will have forgotten by tomorrow.
Excuse me.
You heard him.
Two two.
First Andreas, now Jacko.
Drowned diving.
- You do not know.
- Know? "You do not know"? You think maybe Andre forgot how to swim, huh? We have lived together, worked together, since we were children in Euboea.
And you think they drowned.
We were the best swimmers on the island.
Oh, he killed them, both of them.
- Why else the lies? - You still do not know.
Who, then, your Englishman? I think not.
But this, too, we will find out.
Oh, how? You ask him.
Perhaps we can also ask him why it is that the millionaire should want to kill two people he does not even know.
Risto, you have no head.
No head, no heart.
Risto, I'm sorry.
I don't mean it.
Huh, all right.
But it's clear, isn't it? There is something going on in this ship he does not want anyone to know about.
Perhaps Andre found out, too.
Perhaps it is important enough to kill for.
And so you will use this without knowing, without being sure? All right, we'll ask the Englishman first, - but I don't think he knows anything.
- (clicks) Have you been missing your beauty sleep today? You don't look too good, you know.
Thank you.
This is the only one you could find, eh? Yes, I'm afraid so.
I'd wash some socks up for you, only what would they think when they came to make the bed and found them hanging up to dry? Well, it wouldn't do, would it? Me.
You know, you still haven't told me why you're on board.
Did Mason say anything to you about Jackson drowning? No.
No, he seemed rather upset about it, though.
Well, I think he was.
- Has he shown you around? - Yes, yes, he has.
I say, it's a marvelous boat.
- Ship.
- Isn't it? (groans) - Have you seen all of it? - Yes, everything except the laboratory.
Oh.
He never lets anybody in there, you see.
He keeps fish in there.
Very delicate.
He keeps fish and they're delicate? Mm, that's what he said.
Didn't you know about it, then? No, but I think I'm gonna find out.
I'll be out all night.
Too right, you will.
I do wish you'd get rid of this girl, Mason.
She always seems to be here.
You heard him.
I'm only making sure you aren't disturbed.
So, you did kill him, then, hmm? We did.
Do you know what he was doing? He was getting ready to watch you.
- How? - Through there.
He was going to die.
You made a little speech about it, didn't you? There was no need to kill him.
We have a sick bay here.
He could've been confined there until put ashore.
- And what about his friends? - Friends? Oh, really.
For a rich man, you seem to have forgotten how to observe people.
You really didn't know he had friends? Well, I've got news for you, Pelago.
I think they're trying to kill you.
- Really? Why? - Because of your unfortunate accident with this.
Remember your experiment which went wrong? It did not go wrong.
So you say.
Well, perhaps not, but a man did die, didn't he? And you panicked and dropped him overboard.
Isn't that so? And now his friends are trying to kill you.
It's a vendetta.
I couldn't afford interference here.
Good, nor can we.
So, you see, we really are friends, when you really look at it.
You want to finish your work because you're a scientist.
You want to finish it because of money.
And I want you to finish it because of politics.
So none of us wants anybody to interfere.
Which reminds me, by the way.
You have an uninvited guest on board.
I have many uninvited guests.
Money's like flypaper.
Perhaps it's the same with politics? This is an Englishman.
His name is Steed.
Always when I meet you, you have that little gun.
Do you sleep with it under your pillow? She was born with it in her hand.
(laughs) What do you know about the death of Jackson? Why should I know anything? I would advise you to answer that very carefully, mister What's your name? - Steed.
- Steed, yes.
Or she will shoot you and drop you overboard.
Oh, delightful.
But last night you escorted me downstairs.
Jackson was alive.
How should I know anything about it? Now, what concerns you? He was our friend.
You see this? You took one like it from the body of Andreas Stephanopoulus.
We grew up together.
We swim together.
We have no country.
We have only each other.
Your government knows us as agents, smugglers, isn't that so? Now there are only two of us.
It's what you call a vendetta.
So, now you know about us, Mr.
Steed.
We are the Frogs.
Now, what about you? I'm just trying to find out a little of what goes on.
Ah, let's see how good you are.
- Stand up.
Hup.
- (claps hands) Turn around.
(gun fires) All right.
Now, I don't give a damn about your vendetta.
If you can't do any better than that, you'll probably trip over each other and fall overboard.
Now, I can't stop you playing ducks and drakes and red Indians up and down the companionways, but if you get in my way, I'll tan your hides.
Both of you.
- (door opens) - (laughs) Oh, maybe we'd better be good, eh? Why do you always laugh at everything that happens? Sometimes I think you're a fool.
Oh? Perhaps it's you who should laugh more, Helena.
I like him.
Man on recording: This is sound C.
(man on recording speaks Cantonese) (speaks Cantonese) Man on recording: This is sound D.
(man on recording speaks Cantonese) (speaks Cantonese) Man on recording: This is sound E.
(man on recording speaks Cantonese) This (knock on door) Hello.
Hey, you look a bit hot and bothered.
- Been playing games? - Yep, with some naughty schoolchildren.
Hey, where did you get those? A very enthusiastic young gentleman and his lady friend.
They make a charming couple.
Charming couple? Have they got any more? I should think they constitute what you'd call a walking arsenal.
Yeah, well, I mean, look.
You can't stay in here, mate.
It's late.
I'm a little tired of playing Box and Cox myself.
- (chuckles) - (knock on door) I think it's about over.
Let 'em in, whoever they are.
Mr.
Mason.
Heh, this is my agent.
- Oh, I see.
- He's also a very, very old friend of mine.
But not of mine.
My name is John Steed and I'm a stowaway and I'm very sorry.
I only heard about you a few minutes ago.
Stowaway, huh? I hope you haven't been too uncomfortable, Mr.
Steed.
It's the most comfortable ship I've ever stowed away in.
Also the most interesting.
What interests you most? Well, I'm fascinated in delicate fish.
I'm even more fascinated in deep-sea diving.
I see.
Well, perhaps you'd care to come to my stateroom, Mr.
Steed.
There are some people I'd like you to meet.
Miss Smith, too.
Shall we say in 10 minutes? It's rather late, but I think we can manage some coffee.
Ah, coffee.
I'd been missing that.
The life of a stowaway is a hard one.
Look, turn round.
Go on, turn round.
I've got to get some clothes on.
I'm not missing this.
Turn round.
(whispers) This must be it.
May I introduce you to each other, Anna? This is Mr.
Steed.
Miss Smith you know already.
They are British.
This is Anna Lee.
Delighted.
Now, Miss Lee, I know.
- Oh? - Not personally, of course, but I know your face.
- Must be a photograph.
- I don't think so.
I have not often been photographed.
I can't think why.
Maybe there's some that you don't know about.
And this is Dr.
Pitt-Norton, the head of my research.
Both: How do you do? Research into a field into which you're all particularly interested.
Uh, one way or another.
(laughs) So I thought you'd all like to get together.
So, that's what they're doing.
What? Look, you can read.
There's depth and feed pressure.
It's a diving station.
I don't understand it.
- We are underwater.
- Of course.
What are you doing? It's a submarine or a diving bell.
Look, there's a seat like in an aircraft.
- Risto! - Stay here.
You don't know what you're doing.
We've seen enough.
I have not seen enough.
I've listened to you patiently for a long time, Helena.
All you're concerned with is revenge for Andre and Jacko.
But that is all that concerns us.
How like a woman.
Aren't you even interested to know what it was they died for, how they died? Aren't you even curious? I am.
If this was enough to get them killed, then I say it concerns us.
Now leave me.
There's a good girl.
Hey, besides, it may be worth a lot of money.
To Mr.
Steed, for instance.
And now what? Now we're all friends? Well, I thought we might all go below and have a look at my laboratory.
- No.
- That's a good idea.
Anna is already familiar with my work.
I think she feels she has a certain proprietary interest in it.
- Am I right? - Pelago, you are a fool.
So you keep on telling me.
You know, I'm still alive and healthy.
In any case, if I don't show my work to Mr.
Steed, I'm sure he'll find his own way to my laboratory sooner or later.
So I propose to satisfy his curiosity now.
- Helena.
- What? It's as I thought.
It's a submarine.
It fits beneath the hull of the ship.
There must be a winch somewhere.
The controls are over there.
Go and look.
Oh, no, Risto.
Let's get out of here.
- Not yet.
- Risto! (voice echoes) Go and look.
(whirring) Risto! Risto! - Oh! - (buzzing) (hissing) (whirring) Risto! Risto! (whirring stops) - Mason: What is it? - It's my little mousetrap.
What does he mean, his little mousetrap? Just another one of his gadgets.
Sometimes I wonder how his mind works.
What are the security arrangements in your laboratory? Very few, why? Perhaps our scientist has more sense than you after all.
I think she's right.
Someone's availed themselves of the opportunity of your invitation.
You stay there, young lady.
- (whirring) - The winch is moving.
Get away from there.
- The door shut.
- Yes, I know.
I arranged it that way.
I didn't count on somebody else playing around with this at the same time.
There's somebody in the 'scaphe, isn't there? - Bring him up, quickly.
- I am.
Put that away, young lady.
No time for that.
- What's happening? - There's somebody in the 'scaphe and on the wrong air mixture.
(whirring continues) Risto! (music playing) How do you feel? (groans) My head hurts.
I'm not surprised.
You're a little short of oxygen.
- Now, what happened? - I don't know.
At the entrance, the hatch closed.
I didn't touch anything.
It was a trap.
Pitt-Norton fixed it that way.
- She was alone in the room? - Yes.
- No one else? - No.
Then we'll assume it was an accident.
Mm.
What did you find out? (laughs) You are buying this information.
All right, we'll buy it.
But don't forget, I got you out of there.
It's a submarine.
No, not a submarine.
That's the wrong word.
Bathyscaphe? Greek, your language.
- That's right, only - Only what? Well, these things are meant to go deep.
Yeah, very deep.
Well, then, the hull is too thin.
It wouldn't stand the pressure.
It would leak.
Suppose it was pressurized inside.
Then it still could not go deep because the diver then couldn't stand the pressure inside.
- Do you understand me? - I know what you mean.
It's what happens to men underwater building bridges.
- They call it caisson disease.
- That's right.
Oh, leave him alone, eh? No, no, Helena, Helena.
I'm trying to think.
Why do you say I'm not getting enough oxygen? There's a section of the control board.
It supplies a mixture of oxygen, nitrogen, and helium.
Other gasses as well to the bathyscaphe.
You had the wrong mixture.
Different mixtures.
I'm trying to remember.
Something I remember about a man using different mixtures of gas to prevent compression sickness.
Do you think that might be it? Possibly.
You look after him.
Keep out of my way.
There's a love.
I don't promise.
Hey, do you know, I think that they did not murder Andre.
Perhaps he was not as lucky as I.
Maybe dead when they got him out of that thing and then they just dumped him overboard.
What about Jacko? Oh, you're wrong, Risto.
They murdered Jacko.
Why not Andre? Now it's our turn.
You'll wait and see what the Englishman finds out.
(groans) (humming) Oh! - Don't knock.
- Sorry, this is terribly important.
Can you help me? I need paper.
Yes, over there on the seat.
Oh.
Pencil? Oh, fetch and carry, fetch and carry.
Thank you.
Oh, by the way, what happened about that Greek boy? - Is he all right? - He's perfectly all right, and I'm sure he'd appreciate a visit from you.
What, with that girl around with a gun? - I should call the cops.
- Don't worry, she's just excitable.
Now, look, take this to the purser or whatever it is and send that cable.
- Who to? - The address is on the top.
Yeah, but I don't know anybody in Rottingdean.
Well, I do.
I've got an aunt there.
Then why don't you send it yourself? Because you look just the sort of person to have an aunt in Rottingdean.
Ah, there's something funny going on here, isn't there? "Malaga, three weeks, stop.
Hector much worse, stop.
" - Hey, who's Hector? - The dog.
- Now, all right, come on.
- You're going bonkers.
(sighs) Can't I trust anybody in this place? Failure after failure, and all I need is one test run.
Oh, it's a madhouse.
Only one run.
Is that all you need? Well, I've been trying for days to get it.
I can probably arrange it.
You can? I love working for you.
No, you're working for yourself.
I've watched you work long enough to know that.
Pelago provides all this, but you work for yourself.
- Ah, politics again.
- I'm talking common sense.
Look, all you want is to finish your experiment.
Isn't that so? Well, this I can arrange.
I don't think Mason can, not anymore.
You know, I still don't see your interest in all this.
No, you don't, do you? You really don't.
All right, tell me what you're doing.
You know perfectly well.
I hope, by supplying a series of different mixtures of oxygen and other gasses to a diver under pressure, to enable him to stay at much greater depths and so far possible for longer at a time without his having to spend many hours in slow decompression afterwards.
And when you succeed, you go around giving lectures to scientists, I suppose.
Yes, I suppose so.
And why do you suppose Pelago's paying for all your experiments? For the love of science? I'm not a fool, you know.
He intends to use my diving equipment to recover, oh, I don't know, antiques, pearls, something, I don't know what, from the seabed.
- A sort of hobby.
- Oh, he'll make money out of it.
He's already doing so, out of us.
Because when your little diving machine is ready, when it works, what have you made? A submarine.
A midget submarine.
Oh, I see.
Politics again.
But it's true.
With fins and propellers, that would be a submarine.
Yes, I suppose so.
One that would dive deeper, surface quicker than any midget submarine so far.
Yes, I suppose you're right.
At present, they only go as deep as ordinary skindivers can, is that it? Yes, I see the possibility.
Of course, all that has nothing to do with me.
Of course not.
We shall see.
Hello, I'd like to send a cable.
How do I do it? Talk to him, then.
Thank you.
Say, I'd like to send a cable to England.
You know how I can go about it? Why, yes, ma'am.
You let me know what you want to say, I'll have the signals office send it for you.
There you are.
- Okay, I'll take it over now.
- Thank you.
(music playing) (sighs) Man on intercom: "Hector much worse, stop.
Seasick, stop.
Run out of pink pills, stop.
" Bring it down here now.
- Were you listening? - Yes, you had a cable.
Not me, the girl.
Miss Smith, she tried to send one.
To British Intelligence, I think.
Ah.
Probably about us, what we're doing.
Probably? Oh, I see.
It's in code or something.
Well, surely you can What's the technical word Break it, can't you? I don't even propose to try.
Very well, bring her down here.
- All right, ma'am.
- Down here? Now, look, if this is more of your political business, I do wish you'd go somewhere else.
This is, in case you haven't noticed it, a scientific laboratory.
I'm tired of this.
You're an intelligent man, so listen carefully.
Whether you like it or not, you've accepted money from Mason.
This is political money.
And now you can make a political decision.
You can do one of two things work with us, in which case I think you will find life rewarding, or you can refuse, in which case I will arrange for you to be shot.
If you don't believe me, that's your affair.
Well? I accept.
Oh, I'll need somebody for the next test.
I expect you can arrange that, too? Yes, I think we can.
(music plays) Oh, Miss Smith, excuse me.
About your cable, could you come with me a moment, please? (music continues playing) (music stops) Where are you going? Nowhere.
Are you still looking for someone to shoot? You leave it to the Englishman.
(speaks Greek) Yes, at least wait until he tells us what he has found out.
Wait? All you can say is wait.
I'm looking for Miss Smith, the girl who sings.
Have you seen her? Yes, sir.
She was in here about 15 minutes ago.
Wanted to send a cable.
- Did she? - I believe so, sir.
She gave it to the first officer.
There seemed to be some difficulty.
- Difficulty? - He came back a few minutes later, sir.
The young lady left with him.
She did, did she? Thank you.
Oh, welcome, Miss Smith.
Hello, what's all this about, then, eh? Uh, this cable you just tried to send.
It's in code.
What do you mean code? It's about a dog.
A dog? Your dog? Yes, Hector.
- Has she a dog? - Huh-uh, no, ma'am.
No dog.
Sorry, Miss Smith.
It's all a bit difficult, you see? Anyway, what's it got to do with you? Anything I can do for you, Mr.
Steed? I'm looking for Miss Smith.
I don't know where she is.
Should I? She was last seen talking to your first officer just after she'd tried to send a cable.
She doesn't know much about this ship, eh? I'm afraid the same can be said of me.
I have not seen Miss Smith.
Perhaps you'd care to look into a few cupboards.
I wouldn't mind looking round your laboratory.
If you have no objections.
I wouldn't advise you to.
Why not? Because the last time I tried to, I was invited to leave at the point of a gun.
Anna is there.
She's taken over the place? Why? She also seems to have taken over Dr.
Pitt-Norton.
(laughs) Isn't it time you stopped playing political pig in the middle? What are you gonna do about it? What should I do about it? Storm the barricades? If you don't, I might.
Mr.
Steed you must not assume that because I'm having a little difficulty with Anna Lee that I'm automatically on your side.
This is an attitude typical, if I may say so, of the British, who are rather a straightforward nation.
Naive, even.
I don't propose to get them out of the laboratory.
And I don't propose to let you do so.
Aren't you risking your investment? On the contrary, I've already been paid a great deal by Miss Lee's principals, and I shall probably get more on the investment of this laboratory.
And to Dr.
Pitt-Norton I shall give about, well, four percent.
It's not startling, but it's not a lot.
Have you considered they might fit you with a little pair of cement boots and drop you overboard? Why should they? Money's only money.
Dollars, rubles, pounds.
But murder, Mr.
Steed.
Murder of someone, if I may say so, as well-known as myself, well, that is trouble.
But if I leave them alone and you leave them alone, they will finish what they came to do and go.
Believe me, I've lived a long time.
What are they doing? Dr.
Pitt-Norton is, I believe, performing his final experiment.
They got Miss Smith with them? I don't know.
Um, you want to press the required button.
(chuckles) Is that you, my dear? You know the drink I didn't buy you? Yeah, I thought I'd rectify that now.
Mason's stateroom.
(sonar beeping) Look, I still don't know what you're on about.
No? And yet you're here with Mr.
Steed.
No, I'm not.
I came here to sing.
The first I saw of him, he was a stowaway.
Look, what is all this? I don't think you're doing this the right way, ma'am.
Did you hear him? I think he would like to be a bit more violent.
Yeah, well, he better not or I'll bend this right over his ear.
Do leave things alone.
Why don't you just jump over the side? (laughing) You know, I think Miss Smith is exactly what she says she is a singer.
Marvelous.
Now can I go, eh? No, I don't think so.
(whistles) I'll do you the credit of assuming that you didn't kill Jackson.
What about the first man, Andreas Stephanopoulus? He died in the bathyscaphe.
And you dropped him overboard in a panic.
Not in a panic.
He died at sea and I buried him at sea.
I didn't want interference.
Well, you're getting it now, aren't you? All right, I believe you.
It was an accident.
(sighs) Well, I'm not so sure.
I think it was an accident which they arranged.
- And you still won't help me? - No.
- You will, you know.
- You're going to make me, how? I've got a second front.
She's arriving any minute.
Look, I believe you didn't kill either of them, but she doesn't.
You think Mason's a murderer, don't you, Helena? Yes, that is what I believe.
He murdered Andre, he murdered Jackson, and he tried to murder Risto.
All right, you think quick.
But she's liable, if I may say so, to go off half-cocked.
I did not kill your friends, either of them.
No? You tell her.
Pick your sides, and quick.
Very well, I accept.
Mason didn't kill Andreas or Jackson.
I believe it.
And why should I believe you? Because I know where they are.
They're down below in the laboratory.
- You're sure of this? - Yes! - Quite sure? - I'm quite sure.
Look, you've got to trust me.
Come on, you've got you can't go on shooting people forever.
No.
Your place will be like the Alamo if we don't get there.
Then this way.
(pinging continues) There, we're ready to start now.
Oh, no, not me.
No, thank you.
The last person that came out of there didn't look very well.
This time, we hope, will be different.
In any case, you haven't much choice, have you? No, well, if you put it like that, I don't suppose I have.
(guns firing) (gunshot fires) (gunshots fire) I'll have that.
You can come out.
It's stopped raining.
(sighs) £60,000, that's what I suggest.
Results, equipment, everything.
Damaged equipment? I don't think my firm will agree.
I think they will.
After all, it's the results they're interested in.
Mm, well, we'll have to think that over.
Of course, I don't think you'll be allowed to land in England to collect.
You think so? Well, perhaps, perhaps.
Still, we have the rest of the voyage to come to an agreement.
In the meantime, the party goes on and Miss Smith will sing for us.
(gasps) Oh.
What is it? I want to book him a room.
- Cabin.
- Cabin.
Press the required button.
(laughs) (theme music playing)