True Jackson, VP (2008) s02e24 Episode Script

True Jackson, VP was filmed in front of a live studio audience.
What's with you? I didn't wanna get seen By Jimmy.
I'm planning this big Surprise party for his birthday.
And I'm afraid if I see him, I'll let it slip.
Hey, does my elbow Look weird? Yes.
You didn't even look.
No one asks If their elbow looks weird If it doesn't.
It feels like There's a marble Rolling around inside.
Did you eat a marble? Yes.
I wouldn't worry about it.
You're hiding from Jimmy too? No, I was being chased By a bee.
Great news.
I talked to Jimmy's dad And convinced him to fly in.
For the party.
Whoa.
Jimmy said He hasn't seen him in a year.
He's been at the international Space station.
For a year? Yup.
It was only Supposed to be six months.
But on his way back, he realized He forgot his sunglasses.
And had to turn around.
I hope he likes me.
He won't.
Ryan.
I'musust saying he won't.
He doesn't like Any of Jimmy's girlfriends.
How many girlfriends Does Jimmy have? I mean his past girlfriends.
How many past girlfriends Does Jimmy have? Hey, hey, hey.
Mr.
Madigan, Are those your pants? Well, funny you ask.
These are a very special Pair of pants.
Would you believe me And three army buddies Share these pants.
And that they magically fit Each of us perfectly? I'm gonna go with nope.
It's true, Even though we're completely Different body types.
That's amazing.
What's even more amazing Are the fantastical adventures We have.
While wearing these pants.
Sort of like the sisterhood Of the traveling pants.
I don't know what that is.
Anyway, was there something I can help you with? I've got a bit Of an emergency.
I promised a friend I'd have a coat made.
For his daughter's sweet 16.
Easy.
Which is tonight? Not easy.
I'm sorry to hit you With this short notice, But you'd really be.
Helping me out If you could do this.
I've drawn up the basic design On this cocktail napkin.
Ooh, this is cute.
Maybe I'll make one For myself too.
Thanks, true.
You're a lifesaver.
This is bad.
How am I gonna get All this work done and set up.
For Jimmy's surprise party? I still got to get the balloons And decorations, pick up his dad.
From the airport.
And now I have to make a coat? This probably Isn't the best time To remind you.
That today is your driving test.
Good one.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
But I'm serious.
Oh no.
Ryan, did you hear this? Oh, I gotta be honest.
I can't hear anything Over the sound of this marble In my arm.
from my head to my toes it's all real and you know fresh and cool it's just what I do t-r-u-e j-a-c-k-s-o-n v-p working at a grown up job I never really knew I could work this hard used to sit at home and watch tv now I'm in an office as the new VP I'm always setting trends with my two best friends when things get out of hand we have a plan we just messin' around and we making new ground for the whole wide world to see if you see us in town you know it's going down cause I'mhe new VP okay, okay.
This is bad.
I can't cancel Jimmy's surprise party, Because I've been planning it For weeks.
I can't not make the coat For Mr.
Madigan.
And most importantly, I can't cancel my driving test.
There's only one thing You can do.
What's that? Cancel your driving test.
I just said I can't do that.
It's all I've dreamed about For the past year, Being able to drive, Having some freedom.
Taking Jimmy To kisser's rock.
There's no way I'm canceling.
Can you postpone it? I tried.
The next opening Is in seven weeks.
Seven weeks is forever.
There might not even be cars In seven weeks.
We might be driving jet packs.
Why'd you have to say Jet packs? I can't believe I'm gonna miss out on all that.
Why, where are you going? D't ask.
I've got a mysterious And life-threatening marble In my arm.
It's the se e thing That killed Tupac.
Tupac? Oh, different Tupac.
I got it.
Have Jimmy's birthday party Tomorrow.
He won't know the difference.
I can't.
His dad is only coming in For one night.
He has to leave Right after the party.
Hey.
Nothing.
Why did everyone get quiet When I walked in? Out of respect.
You're older than us.
We're just talking About school stuff.
You wouldn't be interested.
Sure I would.
I was just doing My impression of Mr.
Jameson.
Good morning, class.
That's hysterical.
Do it again.
Good morning, class.
Do it again.
Good morning, class.
Maybe I'll get a jump On my next pick up.
Do it again.
Good morning, class.
What am I gonna do? I hate to say it, But you're just gonna have To do it all.
And we'll help.
Okay.
First up, The driver's test.
I just hope this guy isn't late.
Where is this guy? He's late.
I know he's late.
Then perhaps There's a part of the question I'm missing? Maybe this is him.
It wasn't him.
If I don't get this done In the next 15 minutes, My whole schedule Is gonna be off.
Maybe this is him.
It wasn't him.
True Jackson? Maybe this is him.
Are you my driving test guy? Ed Wheeler, at your service.
Is it cool If my friends come with us? Lulu's helping me With a bunch of errands.
And Ryan can't be left alone Without breaking something.
That's not true.
You left me alone yesterday.
And what happened? I sat on your computer.
And why? Because I broke your chair.
How? Throwing hammers.
Well, you seem like A nice kid.
Step into my office.
Ooh, is it the silver 360? Nope, it's this baby Right here.
Been in the system since 1971.
What happened To the windshield? Been out of the system Since 1973.
Here we go.
I'm in a little bit Of a rush.
How long do these tests Usually take? Give or take what? Three hours.
Now buckle up.
Should I pull out Into traffic? Absolutely.
Great.
Right after we take a quiz.
Great.
Caught you.
I'm sorry, what? You guys are talking About my birthday, aren't you? No.
Come on, you can tell me.
Is there a surprise party? Yes, you caught us.
The entire office Is hiding behind Oscar's desk.
Come out, everybody.
He knows.
No surprise party? No surprise party.
Oscar, have you seen true? I believe she's out Doing errands.
Have her come see me When she gets in.
Uncle Max, what's the deal With the pants? Oh, you mean my lucky pants? Oh, the stories these pants Could tell.
They've been around the world.
My friend, stan, Recently wore them.
Through the straits of Gibraltar On the ss amigo.
Didn't that boat sink? Yeah, I saw that on the news.
Well, the boat may have sunk, But the pants survived.
Then he sent them to big al, Who wore them on a climb.
Up mount Everest.
You're saying those pants Have been up mount Everest? Indeed.
Then big al tripped over His sherpa's óak.
And fell into a crevice, Shattered every bone In his body.
But the pants, not a scratch.
These are some lucky pants Alright.
Don't take this The wrong way, Uncle Max.
But I don't think Your lucky pants Are lucky at all.
How dare you.
I'm going to cover the pockets So they can't hear you.
It's just that those stories Seem to end in tragedy.
Tragedy? Was it tragedy When Flanagan wore these pants.
Skydiving and his chute Didn't open? Or when I wore them To Donald trump's wedding.
And got hit by a milk truck? Oh.
Maybe those pants Aren't so much lucky.
As they are what's the word? Cursed.
Cursed.
Well, I hadn't thought of it That way before.
But now that I have, Get these pants off of me.
Why don't you go ahead And pick up your speed a little? Okay.
Oh.
Oh.
I said a little, Not warp speed.
That's a science fiction Reference for you kids.
I like it.
It's fun.
True Jackson's office.
No, I didn't get that e-mail.
Wait a second, here it is now.
The fabric sample you requested.
Hmm, that's pretty.
Thanks.
Very whimsical.
That's what I was going for.
Yeah, I can see that.
Ah, true, eyes on the road.
Oh, sorry.
Lulu, that looks great.
Find out if I can get five yards Right away.
Whenever it's safe, Merge into the right lane.
Uh-oh.
They've got the material, But there's another buyer.
So you have to get there Within the next 15 minutes.
Oh.
Are we in queens? This is where you told me To go.
No, it isn't.
I heard you.
Yeah, me too.
Oh, okay.
I sort of have to go To the restroom, Mr.
Wheeler.
I'm gonna see if they have one In this fabric warehouse.
I have to go too.
Yeah, triple that.
I ate a great deal of scallops For breakfast.
Now I want scallops.
Oscar, have you seen true? Nope.
I can't believe It's my birthday, And she's not even around.
Jimmy, could I get you To deliver this package for me? To where? Anywhere, just get it Out of here.
I don't really feel like Touching those cursed pants, Uncle Max.
Don't be a baby.
It's my birthday.
Don't make me touch the pants.
I'll be at lunch If anyone calls.
Amanda, by chance Are you passing a mailbox? I imagine I would.
Would you be a lamb chop? Tell me again.
They gave you all that fabric As a prize.
For using their bathroom? That's nothing.
The guy in front of me Won a boat.
So what's next? Let's see.
Since you jumped ahead And covered highway driving.
And parallel parking, We can move on to point 7, A safe u-turn.
Uh-oh.
What is it? Mr.
Other Madigan Switched his flight To an earlier one.
And is due to arrive any minute.
Oh, no.
If I'm not there, he definitely Isn't gonna like me.
He already isn't Gonna like you.
Ryan.
What? I'm just keeping it real.
Hold on, everyone.
One safe u-turn coming up.
Stop.
How was that? Oh.
Young lady, This is a driver's test, Not a vin diesel movie.
That's a vin diesel reference For you kids.
I like it.
Hey, ed.
Don't these cars usually have A second brake on your side? Not since The state budget cuts.
They sold the second brake To the Japanese.
Don't worry, We're almost there.
Almost where? You told me To drive to the airport.
No, I didn't.
Now pull over.
This driving test is concluded.
Mr.
Wheeler, When you were my age, Was there ever someone.
You wanted to impress s s s s sh You did stupid things? Of course.
Well, there's this guy, Jimmy.
He's sort of my boyfriend, And today is his birthday.
All I wanted to do Is throw him a party He'd remember forever.
So he'd remember me forever.
And then all this other stuff Came up.
And now his father Is coming in from Houston.
And his flight is early.
And I'm already freaking out That he won't like me.
Which he won't.
Anyway, I'm sorry.
No time for apologies.
We've gotta get you To the airport on time.
Do you think we can? Luckily, the state Didn't sell the second.
Accelerator to the Japanese.
Hold on.
I'm wasting A whole bunch of good smiles On the wrong people.
True, stop being so nervous.
He's gonna like you.
What if he doesn't? Give him a hug.
Everyone likes hugs.
See? I don't know.
He didn't seem like The hugging type.
He seemed pretty serious On the phone.
Well, he's an astronaut.
He supposed to be serious.
No one's gonna trust A funny astronaut with.
A billion dollar rocket ship.
Do you hear a marble Rolling around? That's my arm.
Let me see that thing.
I think the bump Is going down a little.
I'm not as worried As I was before.
What do you think? Well, I'm no doctor.
But I'll bet They saw your arm off.
I hope he gets here quick.
I still have to pick up The decorations and make.
That coat for Mr.
Madigan.
True Jackson? You must be Jimmy's dad? That's right.
I'm tiberius' father.
Jimmy's real name Is tiberius? Affirmative.
I'm True Jackson.
Like you just said, I made a sign.
Well, Lulu did, But I made a whole bunch Of smiles for you.
See? They looked better earlier.
You had to be there.
It's not going well.
Give him a hug.
Those were my sunglasses.
Were they expensive? They cost the American Taxpayers $600,000.
This is your car? Not exactly.
I'm just borrowing it From the city of New York.
To take my driver's test.
Is this customary? No.
Let me ask you a question.
You ever kill an alien? That's classified, son.
I'll take that as a yes.
It's really nice To meet you, sir.
No need to be so formal.
Call me commander.
I think Jimmy Really is gonna like the party.
We even got an ice cream cake That looks like a mail truck.
I don't care much for sweets.
What do you usually have For dessert? A protoid pellet.
I'll bet that alien Put up a real fight.
No comment.
Hey, true.
Isn't that the party Supply store up ahead? Oh, yeah.
This will just take a minute.
Whatever.
Actually, I'd like to go Straight to your office.
But then I won't have time To come back or a car.
Young lady, I'm not a man Who likes to be told no.
Then you're really not Gonna like the next word Out of my mouth.
Party, party, Who likes to party? Hi, I'm here to pick up An order, balloons And party supplies.
Name? True Jackson.
Let me check in the back.
This is terrible, Lulu.
I have three things to do today.
Make a coat for Mr.
Madigan.
Didn't do it.
Then pass my driver's test.
Not looking very good.
And get Jimmy's dad To like me.
Which he doesn't.
At least I'm throwing Jimmy A great party, So the day's not a total loss.
We don't have your order.
Oh, come on.
I don't know What to tell you.
Unless your name Is Bob stanhope, We don't have it.
Would you mind checking One more time? Fine.
What was the name again? Bob stanhope.
Yeah, it's right here.
I don't know how I missed it The first time.
Hey.
Ryan, I asked you To wait in the car To keep Mr.
Other Madigan.
From getting impatient.
I tried.
And? He got impatient.
Plus, ed wanted to see If they have an apron that says, "driving instructors Really cook.
" aisle five.
Aisle five.
Ooh.
So what's it like in space? In what sense? Well, I heard you have To poop in your space suit.
I try not to talk about Where I poop with strangers.
Strangers? I've spent the last hour Of my life with you, That makes you.
My eighth best friend In the world.
Happy Birthday to me.
What was that? Nothing.
Didn't anybody Hear me screaming? That was you? It sounded like a cat.
The elevator dropped 20 stories, screeched to a stop, Lifted me up And dropped me again.
That's scary.
It was scary the first time.
Around the 50th, I started to get used to it.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, where did you get The pants? Oh, one of our employees Wasn't using them.
Here's your package, Max.
Mail this.
Nope.
You took an oath.
How about if I Just throw them out the window? Even better.
Whooo! Here we are.
Thanks for letting us Bring Mr.
Other Madigan To the office.
You want to come To the party, ed? After wasting my time For the past two hours.
And recklessly abandoning The rules of the road, You have the nerve to ask me To a party? Yeah, sure, I'll come.
What was that? Hey, those are Mr.
Madigan's Lucky pants.
I remember those things.
I wore them once To flight school.
I was trapped in the simulator For 18 hours.
Lulu, could you put those Over there? Guys, can you hang the sign A little lower? Ryan, keep a lookout By the door.
Copy that.
I talked to production, And they're ready to render.
The coat when you're done.
Great.
Could you ask them To double stitch the hem? Will do.
He's on his way.
Somebody light the cake.
Everyone, quiet.
Surprise!! Amanda? Is it my birthday? No, Jimmy's.
He's coming.
Oh, everyone quiet.
Surprise.
Is it my birthday? Seriously, Don't you people know When your own birthdays are? Hey, Mr.
Madigan.
Guess who we brought in For the party? It's not the Black Eyed Peas, Is it? They'll play anywhere.
No, it's your brother.
Wade is here, that goof ball? Goof ball? Don't get him started.
He's the clown of the family.
Hello, skipper.
Skipper.
What a cut up.
So how's the moon? Same as ever.
Here, I brought you a rock.
Is this from the moon? If my kid brother Can't make it to the moon, Then the least I can do Is bring the moon to him.
I wouldn't tell anyone, though.
I didn't get clearance To take it.
You secret's safe with me.
Also it may be radioactive.
Kopelman.
What's going on? We're having a party for you.
He's coming, everyone.
Surprise! Thanks.
Happy Birthday, Jimmy.
You did this for me? Uh-huh.
That's awesome.
I thought everyone Had forgotten.
Who's Bob? You're Bob Or should I say, tiberius.
Who told you my real name? Is that my dad? Yeah.
Oh, but I should warn you.
I don't think He likes me very much.
Happy Birthday, son.
You're looking well.
Thanks, dad.
So are you.
I got to say, you've got Quite a girlfriend here.
I know.
Wait, you like me? You're one tough lady.
I respect that.
I gave her a direct order To drive me straight here, But she refused So she could get you balloons.
I do like balloons.
If I were you, I wouldn't let her go.
I'll try not to.
Hey, give me a second, Will you? Mr.
Wheel, the suspense Is driving me crazy.
Are you gonna pass me or not? Ms.
Jackson, I've never seen a person.
Who could multitask like you, Making calls, thinking about So I pass? Of course not.
You can't drive And do something else At theamame time.
Are you insane? A little.
But I'll tell you this.
Come back tomorrow and focus On one thing only, driving, And we'll see how you do.
Thank you.
Looks like tomorrow Is my lucky day.
Tomorrow, we're taking Our sats.
Dang.
You know, when I was a kid, I wanted to be an astronaut.
Well, I still do, But it probably Won't ever happen.
Why not? I have a deadly Elbow disease.
That's just dried up potato.
What? On your elbow, dried potato.
Trust me, I'm an astronaut.
I eat upside down.
I've had more than my fair share Of dehydrated food.
Stuck to my body.
Well, this is Sort of embarrassing.
I would imagine so.
Kopelman, I feel just terrible About stealing your pants.
Here, take these.
You're an awesome girlfriend.
Thanks for the party.
It was nothing.