The Weekenders (2000) s02e25 Episode Script
New Friends
Hey! I can't really talk right now.
The guys are in the park
waiting for me to bring my
sponge-throwing thingy
so we can throw sponges.
Hey, Mom.
I'm gonna meet the
guys in the park, okay?
You got any gum?
Ah, I'll check.
What's with the old lady purse?
Ah, a new lipstick.
The heck is this?
Ah, found gum!
One Moment, please.
Hello there.
Hello there.
Welcome to my home, where I live
with my mother, whom you are not.
Now, I know that
strangers get a bad rap, but
nonetheless, this
house has certain rules.
Number one, all strangers
must either sign in or wait outside until --
Only your Mom would
let her kid wear shorts like that.
Hey, I picked out these shorts.
Oh, great!
You've met Adele.
I'm Mrs Adele Phipps.
I'm Mr Tino Tonitini.
Um, thanks for the gum.
Adele and I used to do everything
together.
See?
We were best friends
until the eighth grade.
Yeah, then the awful thing happened.
The awful thing?
Are you still listening
to that lousy music?
It's called Southern Fried Rock,
and it's still very popular.
At, uh, county fairs.
Hey yo, Mom.
How about some yeast and barley wafers for
our guest, huh?
Mm-hmm.
This, uh, reunion is
obviously very "uncomfortable",
so I'm going to fake an "ulcer."
Got it?
Good.
Did you get hit in the head with a
dodgeball again?
Ah, I'm fine.
Now look, you're being very
polite to this "person", but
This "person" was my best friend.
Wait.
She's totally different from you.
You and your friends
are totally different.
Yeah, but we whoa.
You're right, we are.
I haven't seen Adele since eighth grade.
Well, you don't have to see her now,
'cause I'm here to bail ya out.
D'augh!
Ooh!
Internal bleeding.
Why don't you go have that ulcer
outside with your friends, alright?
I also do a great appendicitis.
That's like the tenth one you've missed.
What's the point, when our giddy,
frolic-filled days are near their end?
Did you get hit in the head with a
dodgeball again?
I have seen our future.
And its name is Mrs Adele Phips.
Is that the new girl with the braces?
I didn't know she was married.
My Mom is best friends with
Mrs Adele Phips when they were kids,
but they haven't seen
each other since eighth grade.
So, lots of people don't stay friends.
But they were really different,
and then the "awful thing" happened.
Don't you see what this means?
That you should stay in
the back during dodgeball?
I know what you're talking about!
I used to be best friends with Francis.
One day, we're inseparable.
Hi, Francis!
Good morning, Tish.
I've just received a new Little Muffins
book, and it's ever so charming.
Let us peruse it,
on the veranda!
The next day, she was just too different.
Hi, Francis!
I like pointy things.
Now I never see her.
It couldn't last.
Exactly.
People as different as us,
just can't stay friends forever.
You're right.
It's only a matter of time.
Okay.
We have two options.
One, wait for something awful to happen
like with my Mom and Mrs Adele Phipps.
I wonder what the "awful thing" was.
I bet it involved canned peas and an
electric floor waxer.
Maybe.
Option two is we find new best friends who
are more like us and avoid the awfulness.
New best friends
We want to thank our fans for making
Teen Canyon the number one show.
Number one and climbing, woo~!
But most of all, we want to thank
our new best friend, Carver Descartes.
That horse got game.
You're always there for me, Ranger.
Pointy things.
I like pointy things.
I like pointy things.
I like pointy things.
It's settled.
We'll all find new friends
who are just like us.
I, uh.
I guess this is goodbye.
The first one that tries
to start a group hug, eats it.
Got it.
Um.. Good one?
So Ruby, you and I are like,
really hittin' it off, huh? Haha.
Like best friends.
Maybe?
Only if you work on your pitching.
Sorry.
I do that all the time.
Note to self, no dangerous friends.
Okay, pay attention.
I only swing at pitches at a
waist-high, medium speed, no spin, and..
Wha - hey!
Where are you goin'?
Lor?
Where am I gonna find friends
who are just like me?
Of course.
My brothers!
So. You guys wanna be my new best friends?
Let's see.
Who should I pick to be my new friend?
Skateboarders?
Eh, way too different.
Definitely, no.
Wait a minute.
Looks like me.
Eats like me.
Hmm.
Mind if I join ya?
Sure!
Due to the controversial
nature of the Rat Exhibit,
we will be closed until further notice.
Please exit to the left.
Now.
I guess you don't have a new
best friend yet, either.
Hey, did a rat just run by?
No.
I'll never find a new friend.
I couldn't even get anyone to
go with me to that production
of Julius Caesar where the
actors all speak in Morse code.
That's a surprise.
Maybe we need to seek
the help of a higher power.
You mean our parents?
Someone even smarter.
And I know just the guy!
We're gonna get help from a guy who
hangs out on top of a big rock?
Jules knows everything.
He's a real world traveler.
He was born in Milwaukee,
went to school in Nairobi,
and spends every summer in Shanghai.
Wow.
Milwaukee.
Ahhh, Petra Tishkovna.
And friend.
Hi, Jules.
We need help finding new friends.
You need Thai and Sly.
In all my globe-spanning travels, Thai and
Sly are the closest friends I've ever seen.
You can find them in the
great indoor marketplace.
You mean the mall?
The "mall", you say?
Let me write that word down.
Man.
You gotta get down off
this rock once in a while.
So, what's your favorite Chum Bukkit song?
Sure!
Oh, you mean, "Suffused Elephant Quaffs
Winces Exasperating"?
Sure!
Am I the smartest person alive?
Sure!
Will you give me $400,000?
Sure!
Oooh-kay, fine.
We like the same
movies, same music
Same clothes, same
people, same food.
Same sports!
Same everything?
Same everything.
Can you help us find friends like that?
Are you kidding?
We can
help you
be friends
like that!
You're hired.
So, you'll get to meet my
new best friend, Tony, in a minute.
What?
Did you and the guys have a fight?
No, we did not.
Thanks to you and Mrs Adele Phipps.
Oh, I know I'm going to regret asking
this, but Heh?
We're too different to stay friends,
just like you guys.
So we decided to call it quits.
Your support in this matter is greatly
appreciated.
How did you come up with that?
Oh, wait.
You're the one who thought an unplugged
iron could burn the house down.
Safety first.
Adele and I were different.
That's what we like about each other.
But, you said some "awful thing" happened
and you hadn't seen her ever since!
Tino. The "awful thing" was
she and her family moved to Ohio.
That's why I haven't seen her?
Oh, well, uh, yeah.
Everyone's different, honey.
Maybe you guys won't
be friends forever, but think
how boring it would be
if you were all the same.
Maybe so.
Whoa.
Déjà Tino.
Tony, this is my Mom.
Sure!
Now if you ever break, I know
where I can get spare parts.
Well, if it isn't
Lor MacQuarrie!
How the heck you been?
Tino, ol' pal!
How about, uh, finding us
a waiter there, Tony?
Sure!
Good luck!
It's like there's no one in charge around
here.
Okay.
If Tony says "sure" one more time,
I'm gonna swallow my own head.
How's it going with your brothers?
Great.
Except for screaming, dog piles,
and general stench.
Whoa.
Freakshow alert.
Hi, Tino.
Hi, Lor.
What a nice surprise
seeing you here!
Well, you guys seem good.
Ish.
Tish and I have been
doing the
Same things.
Wearing the
Same things.
Eating and drinking
the Same things.
Same things.
for over 24 hours now.
And I think we've finally gone --
Insane.
You guys, this new friend thing isn't
working out for any of us.
And you know why?
Are you going to tell
us what your Mom said?
No.
Okay.
She said she and Mrs Adele Phipps were
friends because they were different.
And it's boring to all be the same.
Sure! Sure! Sure!
Sure! Sure!
I like us being different.
It's never broken us up before.
Maybe it never will.
Friends again?
Oh, yeah.
You bet.
Yes!
Doing okay, Tony?
Sure
Well, I guess a little dose of sameness
showed us how good our differences are.
Oh, hey, by the way, if you ever see
us doing something stupid,
like looking for new friends,
would it kill you
to say somethin', huh!?
Right.
Later days.
The guys are in the park
waiting for me to bring my
sponge-throwing thingy
so we can throw sponges.
Hey, Mom.
I'm gonna meet the
guys in the park, okay?
You got any gum?
Ah, I'll check.
What's with the old lady purse?
Ah, a new lipstick.
The heck is this?
Ah, found gum!
One Moment, please.
Hello there.
Hello there.
Welcome to my home, where I live
with my mother, whom you are not.
Now, I know that
strangers get a bad rap, but
nonetheless, this
house has certain rules.
Number one, all strangers
must either sign in or wait outside until --
Only your Mom would
let her kid wear shorts like that.
Hey, I picked out these shorts.
Oh, great!
You've met Adele.
I'm Mrs Adele Phipps.
I'm Mr Tino Tonitini.
Um, thanks for the gum.
Adele and I used to do everything
together.
See?
We were best friends
until the eighth grade.
Yeah, then the awful thing happened.
The awful thing?
Are you still listening
to that lousy music?
It's called Southern Fried Rock,
and it's still very popular.
At, uh, county fairs.
Hey yo, Mom.
How about some yeast and barley wafers for
our guest, huh?
Mm-hmm.
This, uh, reunion is
obviously very "uncomfortable",
so I'm going to fake an "ulcer."
Got it?
Good.
Did you get hit in the head with a
dodgeball again?
Ah, I'm fine.
Now look, you're being very
polite to this "person", but
This "person" was my best friend.
Wait.
She's totally different from you.
You and your friends
are totally different.
Yeah, but we whoa.
You're right, we are.
I haven't seen Adele since eighth grade.
Well, you don't have to see her now,
'cause I'm here to bail ya out.
D'augh!
Ooh!
Internal bleeding.
Why don't you go have that ulcer
outside with your friends, alright?
I also do a great appendicitis.
That's like the tenth one you've missed.
What's the point, when our giddy,
frolic-filled days are near their end?
Did you get hit in the head with a
dodgeball again?
I have seen our future.
And its name is Mrs Adele Phips.
Is that the new girl with the braces?
I didn't know she was married.
My Mom is best friends with
Mrs Adele Phips when they were kids,
but they haven't seen
each other since eighth grade.
So, lots of people don't stay friends.
But they were really different,
and then the "awful thing" happened.
Don't you see what this means?
That you should stay in
the back during dodgeball?
I know what you're talking about!
I used to be best friends with Francis.
One day, we're inseparable.
Hi, Francis!
Good morning, Tish.
I've just received a new Little Muffins
book, and it's ever so charming.
Let us peruse it,
on the veranda!
The next day, she was just too different.
Hi, Francis!
I like pointy things.
Now I never see her.
It couldn't last.
Exactly.
People as different as us,
just can't stay friends forever.
You're right.
It's only a matter of time.
Okay.
We have two options.
One, wait for something awful to happen
like with my Mom and Mrs Adele Phipps.
I wonder what the "awful thing" was.
I bet it involved canned peas and an
electric floor waxer.
Maybe.
Option two is we find new best friends who
are more like us and avoid the awfulness.
New best friends
We want to thank our fans for making
Teen Canyon the number one show.
Number one and climbing, woo~!
But most of all, we want to thank
our new best friend, Carver Descartes.
That horse got game.
You're always there for me, Ranger.
Pointy things.
I like pointy things.
I like pointy things.
I like pointy things.
It's settled.
We'll all find new friends
who are just like us.
I, uh.
I guess this is goodbye.
The first one that tries
to start a group hug, eats it.
Got it.
Um.. Good one?
So Ruby, you and I are like,
really hittin' it off, huh? Haha.
Like best friends.
Maybe?
Only if you work on your pitching.
Sorry.
I do that all the time.
Note to self, no dangerous friends.
Okay, pay attention.
I only swing at pitches at a
waist-high, medium speed, no spin, and..
Wha - hey!
Where are you goin'?
Lor?
Where am I gonna find friends
who are just like me?
Of course.
My brothers!
So. You guys wanna be my new best friends?
Let's see.
Who should I pick to be my new friend?
Skateboarders?
Eh, way too different.
Definitely, no.
Wait a minute.
Looks like me.
Eats like me.
Hmm.
Mind if I join ya?
Sure!
Due to the controversial
nature of the Rat Exhibit,
we will be closed until further notice.
Please exit to the left.
Now.
I guess you don't have a new
best friend yet, either.
Hey, did a rat just run by?
No.
I'll never find a new friend.
I couldn't even get anyone to
go with me to that production
of Julius Caesar where the
actors all speak in Morse code.
That's a surprise.
Maybe we need to seek
the help of a higher power.
You mean our parents?
Someone even smarter.
And I know just the guy!
We're gonna get help from a guy who
hangs out on top of a big rock?
Jules knows everything.
He's a real world traveler.
He was born in Milwaukee,
went to school in Nairobi,
and spends every summer in Shanghai.
Wow.
Milwaukee.
Ahhh, Petra Tishkovna.
And friend.
Hi, Jules.
We need help finding new friends.
You need Thai and Sly.
In all my globe-spanning travels, Thai and
Sly are the closest friends I've ever seen.
You can find them in the
great indoor marketplace.
You mean the mall?
The "mall", you say?
Let me write that word down.
Man.
You gotta get down off
this rock once in a while.
So, what's your favorite Chum Bukkit song?
Sure!
Oh, you mean, "Suffused Elephant Quaffs
Winces Exasperating"?
Sure!
Am I the smartest person alive?
Sure!
Will you give me $400,000?
Sure!
Oooh-kay, fine.
We like the same
movies, same music
Same clothes, same
people, same food.
Same sports!
Same everything?
Same everything.
Can you help us find friends like that?
Are you kidding?
We can
help you
be friends
like that!
You're hired.
So, you'll get to meet my
new best friend, Tony, in a minute.
What?
Did you and the guys have a fight?
No, we did not.
Thanks to you and Mrs Adele Phipps.
Oh, I know I'm going to regret asking
this, but Heh?
We're too different to stay friends,
just like you guys.
So we decided to call it quits.
Your support in this matter is greatly
appreciated.
How did you come up with that?
Oh, wait.
You're the one who thought an unplugged
iron could burn the house down.
Safety first.
Adele and I were different.
That's what we like about each other.
But, you said some "awful thing" happened
and you hadn't seen her ever since!
Tino. The "awful thing" was
she and her family moved to Ohio.
That's why I haven't seen her?
Oh, well, uh, yeah.
Everyone's different, honey.
Maybe you guys won't
be friends forever, but think
how boring it would be
if you were all the same.
Maybe so.
Whoa.
Déjà Tino.
Tony, this is my Mom.
Sure!
Now if you ever break, I know
where I can get spare parts.
Well, if it isn't
Lor MacQuarrie!
How the heck you been?
Tino, ol' pal!
How about, uh, finding us
a waiter there, Tony?
Sure!
Good luck!
It's like there's no one in charge around
here.
Okay.
If Tony says "sure" one more time,
I'm gonna swallow my own head.
How's it going with your brothers?
Great.
Except for screaming, dog piles,
and general stench.
Whoa.
Freakshow alert.
Hi, Tino.
Hi, Lor.
What a nice surprise
seeing you here!
Well, you guys seem good.
Ish.
Tish and I have been
doing the
Same things.
Wearing the
Same things.
Eating and drinking
the Same things.
Same things.
for over 24 hours now.
And I think we've finally gone --
Insane.
You guys, this new friend thing isn't
working out for any of us.
And you know why?
Are you going to tell
us what your Mom said?
No.
Okay.
She said she and Mrs Adele Phipps were
friends because they were different.
And it's boring to all be the same.
Sure! Sure! Sure!
Sure! Sure!
I like us being different.
It's never broken us up before.
Maybe it never will.
Friends again?
Oh, yeah.
You bet.
Yes!
Doing okay, Tony?
Sure
Well, I guess a little dose of sameness
showed us how good our differences are.
Oh, hey, by the way, if you ever see
us doing something stupid,
like looking for new friends,
would it kill you
to say somethin', huh!?
Right.
Later days.