True Jackson, VP (2008) s02e25 Episode Script
228 - True Disaster
True Jackson, VP was filmed in front of a live studio audience.
I have a feeling it's gonna be a great day, Lulu.
Oh, I like that prediction.
Morning, Oscar.
You guys are in a good mood.
B.
O.
B.
Tickets go on sale today.
B.
O.
B.
Who? Old people kill me.
Morning, Ryan.
Curious what I'm doing? Inventing an inside-out meatloaf sandwich.
With the bread on the inside and the meatloaf on the outside? Uh-huh.
Want to know why? So you can sell the patent to a major sandwich chain.
For $100 million.
Uh-huh.
And would you like to know what I'm gonna do with all the money? You're gonna buy a solid gold hot air balloon and fly it.
To cheerleader island.
Uh-huh.
And what am I gonna build when I get there? Ryan, I have a job.
Do you mind? Lulu, go get me some mayonnaise.
I have a job too.
Fine, I'll get it myself.
Anyway, tickets go on sale at At noon.
We're gonna stand in line for five hours? It'll be worth it.
Why? Did you ever have a moment so perfect, you feel like.
You'll remember it forever? The first time I held hands with Mikey J.
Yeah, like that.
Last weekend, Jimmy was over my house.
We were sitting on the floor, reading magazines.
The house smelled like cookies.
And that song by B.
O.
B.
Came on.
I thought this is a perfect moment.
I don't think I'll ever hear b.
O.
b.
And not think of Jimmy.
So are people gonna be cool if we take off for the whole day? No way.
You remember that big lecture we got about being reliable? So what are we gonna do? Sneak out.
Good plan.
We'll just wait till no one's paying attention.
Yeah, it shouldn't take long for Mr.
Madigan.
To get distracted by something.
He's like an eight-year-old.
Look at my new bat.
Why do you have a bat? I won it at auction.
It was signed by babe Ruth.
R-o-o-f.
Duped.
No wonder it only cost $1,300.
Anyone want a bat? No, thanks.
Are you sure? I'll throw in a basketball signed by Michael jorban.
Anything we could help you with? You know us, always reliable.
Actually, I was hoping to have a word with laserbeam.
He's looking for mayonnaise.
Oh, thanks.
If you need anything, we'll be right here.
You know us, always reliable.
Ah, there you are.
I was hoping to have a word.
If it's about the sandwich, the price is a hundred million.
That's non-negotiable.
I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about.
Oh.
Then what did you want? I understand you're a man with connections to the world.
Of the comic book.
Perhaps.
Mm.
I'm looking for a very hard-to-find title.
Let me guess.
The legion of creeps? Close.
Single Sandy.
Single Sandy? That frizzy-haired girl with the cat.
Who's always going on bad dates and burning her tongue on soup? Well, I don't get it either.
But Doris mentioned that she used to love it, and I thought I'd pick up the complete collection.
I know just the place.
Are you afraid of new Jersey? Isn't everyone? Shall we? True, Lulu, I'm going out with Mr.
Madigan.
I'll be back later.
Snazzy jacket, Jimmy.
Thanks, it's new.
I saw it in a store and I thought, I don't care what it costs, I'm gonna love it forever.
Good for you.
I gotta say the sleeves are my favorite part.
Where are you guys going? Comic book store.
Cool, I'll come with.
Today is the day the new Hamilton rogue drops.
What's that? You know, the vigilante mail carrier? Rain or shine, he delivers justice.
And his name is Hamilton? No, his name is rogue.
He works in Hamilton.
Come, come, gentlemen.
Oh, my cart.
I'm not in the mood, Oscar.
For what? True.
Oh, hi, Amanda.
Please stop yelling.
She's not yelling.
That goes for you too.
I'm having one of my famous migraines and I need the two of you.
To keep the office stone quiet while I go take a nap.
Nap? How long a nap? It's hard to say.
It could be the rest of the day.
Perfect.
Lulu, quiet.
Right, sorry.
Amanda, you go lie down.
We'll make sure no one disturbs you.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Shhh.
This couldn't have worked out better.
Ryan's out with Mr.
Madigan.
Now all we have to do is make sure the office.
Stays completely calm.
And as soon as Amanda falls asleep, we slip out.
Nothing can possibly go wrong.
from my head to my toes it's all real and you know fresh and cool it's just what I do t-r-u-e j-a-c-k-s-o-n v-p working at a grown-up job never really knew I could work this hard used to sit at home and watch tv now I'm in an office as the new vp I'm always setting trends with my two best friends when things get out of hand we have a plan we're just messing around and we're making new ground for the whole wide world to see if you see us in town you know it's going down 'cause I'm the new vp What do you think? Time to slip out? Let's do it.
This is awesome.
We're only five short hours away from getting B.
O.
B tickets.
Bye, Oscar.
Bye, Oscar.
Why are we whispering? Amanda has a headache.
What was that horrific thud? I just put my coffee down.
True, Lulu, where do you think you're going? Nowhere.
My office.
Why are you frantically pressing that button? I'm just making sure it works.
Yup, it works.
I thought I made it clear that I need absolute silence.
If I hear another word from you for the rest of the day, I'm going to get mad.
You won't like me when I am mad.
We don't like you now.
Well, I think you have it all under control.
Shall we? You think it's safe to leave? Mr.
Madigan's out.
Amanda's gonna be asleep.
How much safer can it get? Hey, little niece.
Uncle Troy.
I thought you went to work at our branch in Italy.
I did.
I just figured it was time to come back.
Why? They deported me.
I was just trying to fix the leaning tower of pisa.
They took away my hammer and everything.
What brings you here, Uncle Troy? Just stopping by on my way to a birthday in the park.
For one of the girls I coach in youth soccer.
I didn't know you coached soccer.
Been kicked in the face 92 times, but I don't care.
It's a nice day for a party in the park.
Sure is.
The sun's out, the weather's great.
And it's raining.
Dang.
This is terrible.
I hate to think of those little girls out in the rain.
Me, too.
So it's okay? What? To have them come up here.
Just until the rain stops.
Okay.
They can come up here.
Thanks, little niece, you're a Saint.
This is terrible.
We have to keep this place as quiet as we can.
And now Uncle Troy? He's the unluckiest guy I know.
Tell me about it.
He holds the world record for being sucked up by twisters.
I sure hope I can convince them to sell me a legion of creeps.
Convince them? It's a store.
Don't they just sell what they have? Uh, it's not like that.
They'll only sell the good stuff if they think you're worthy.
That's an insane business model.
Who would do that? Selman.
Hey.
Uh, excuse me, are you the head nerd? Who wants to know? I'm Max Madigan.
I'm looking for every issue of single Sandy.
Oh, excellent choice, ma'am.
Aisle four, next to the ladies' room.
Well, it's not for me.
Of course not.
Do you have the new Hamilton rogue? Uh, yeah, back wall, under the big sign that says "losers only.
" how you doing? How you doing? Okay, then.
Check it out.
The return of Dr.
craniac.
My favorite comic ever.
Oh, yeah, that's the one where Dr.
Craniac comes back.
Spoiler alert.
Spoiler alert.
What? It's in the title.
Still, you're supposed to say "spoiler alert.
" it's common courtesy.
Shh.
Quiet.
Quiet, please.
Girls, we're really glad to have you, but you have.
To be very, very quiet.
Can we kick soccer balls? Can you do it quietly? No.
Let's get out of here.
What was that racket? I put my cup down again? Oscar, look at my eyes.
If I hear even the slightest peep out of you, I will crack your head open like an egg.
Nod if you understand.
Hey, guy, I'm sleepy the clown.
Please stop honking.
I'm here for a birthday party.
Please stop honking.
It's up the hall and to the left.
Did I just hear a bicycle? No.
Yes, I did.
You're probably hearing things.
Happens a lot with migraines.
Hearing things, seeing things.
Well, here it says that Sandy's date is named Nick Houston.
And the next panel says, "houston, we have a problem.
" how is that a joke? It's a reference.
Well, I know it's a reference, but what's the joke? I mean, just show me where the joke is.
What are you yelling at me for? I didn't write it.
And here she's wearing a sweatshirt that says, "so many milkshakes, so little time.
" although that is true.
Great store.
I come here a lot.
What do you want? I'm just gonna cut to the Chase.
I'd like to buy a legion of creeps.
What's that? The comic book.
We don't sell comic books.
Look, you seem like a nice kid.
Why don't we start you off with something.
A little more your speed? Here's wee Willy winkle, issue two, "fun on the farm.
" enjoy.
Uh-oh.
I'm gonna feel that in the morning.
This is gonna be tougher than I thought.
Ready to go? No, I'm not leaving until I convince selman.
To sell me a legion of creeps.
Very well.
Single Sandy's date is taking her to a soup restaurant.
I suspect I know how this will end up.
Ryan, check out the goofy viking hat.
Goofy? That's the battle crown of Ktath, gomaq of the cliff people.
It happens to be a very important comic artifact.
Well, if you like it so much, why don't you try it on? And maybe I will.
Maybe you should.
Oh, sweet.
I can feel the power just surging through me.
Yeah, it's stuck.
Oh, this is bad.
Oh, what's the big deal? May I have your attention? The battle crown of Ktath has been breached.
This store is in level six lockdown.
But I'm getting married in an hour.
Any sign of Mr.
Madigan yet? Nope, still out with Ryan and Jimmy.
And Amanda settled in? Haven't heard a peep for half an hour.
Oh, good.
We can finally sneak out and get those concert tickets.
What about Uncle Troy? He's in the conference room with the kids.
I must say, all things considered, it was no trouble.
Having them here at all.
Little help? What's wrong? I'm afraid to go in there, Lulu.
It's gonna be bad.
The tables are gonna be upside down, the windows are gonna be broken.
I won't have to worry about sneaking out of my job, because I won't have a job.
I'm sure it's not that bad.
It's not that bad.
Everything looks pretty normal in here.
Except for that guy.
He looks like a clown.
He is a clown.
Oh, I'm not a big fan of clowns.
Probably because when I was really young, I saw two clowns.
Bare-knuckle fighting in the alley behind my house.
Hi.
I'm true.
And you are? Highly suspicious, so keep your distance.
I'm sleepy the clown.
I know what you're thinking, and you're right.
What am I thinking? That I got my name because I have narcolepsy and fall asleep.
Every time I get stressed.
That's not even close to what I was thinking.
What are you looking for, Uncle Troy? Goat.
A goat? You brought a goat into my office? You can't have a birthday party without a petting zoo.
We've also got 2 donkeys, 10 bunny rabbits, a dog, a cat, I don't see any animals in here.
Uh-oh.
Uncle Troy.
Can you hear that? There are snakes loose.
What is that screaming? Do I need to remind you that I need complete silence? Now toss me some aspirin.
Better.
Oscar, have you seen any animals around here? There's that security guard in the lobby.
Who eats with his hands.
No, I mean actual animals.
The air vents.
Oscar, you have to go up there and see if you can find.
Any animals.
You said what now? Don't worry, it's only snakes.
Or a goat.
Or a llama.
You said what now? Tell me again why we're cowering in a closet? Because these guys take their memorabilia very seriously.
If they see me wearing the battle crown of Ktath, who knows what they'll do.
I've got a guess.
They'll make fun of you until their moms tell them.
It's time for dinner.
This is serious.
Okay, we're talking about guys without girlfriends.
Who spend all day watching kung fu movies.
And playing violent video games.
There's a lot of pent-up hostility there.
Does anyone else feel anything weird? Uncle Max, there's glue dripping onto your head.
No, I don't think that's it.
Yes, it is.
That may be the worst thing that's ever happened to me.
No, that was.
That's a replica of the cerebrum of Dr.
Craniac.
We've got to get out of here.
For a guy with two brains, I'd thought you'd come up.
With a better plan.
Holy smokes, the legion of creeps.
You guys mind if we just stay here long enough for me to read it? What do you think you're wearing? Battle helmet.
Dr.
craniac's brain.
New jacket.
The council of retribution has met and your fates.
Have been sealed.
Look, nerds, we're not really in the mood.
For a slap fight, okay? Get him.
Not the sleeves.
Not the sleeves.
Your tie is crooked.
That's better.
I'm sorry, but I hardly need fashion tips from someone wearing.
Half a jacket or a viking hat.
What are you so cranky about? We escaped, didn't we? Barely.
I'm just glad to be back in our nice calm, quiet office.
Anything, Oscar? Nothing so far.
Just a skeleton wearing roller skates.
Is there a goat out here? That's a pretty specific question.
I'm allergic to goats.
They make my hands swell.
Nope, no goats.
Maybe it's just a side effect from your headache.
Oh, yes, Oscar mentioned it might make me hear and see things.
Hello.
Would you like a balloon doggie? Well, that would be lovely, but you're not real.
In what sense? You're a figment of my imagination.
I have a headache.
Girls, just keep it quiet out here, will you? You got it.
One order of silence, coming up.
What was that? Nothing.
What was that? Nothing.
I'm sure it wasn't the electrical system.
Getting eaten by a goat.
I thought you said there weren't any goats.
I lied.
I think I see something.
Who was that? No one.
Is that Oscar in the air duct? Amanda, you should probably go back to bed.
Yeah, what would Oscar be doing in the air duct? Uh-oh.
Wo-oh.
Is that a goat? I can explain.
Okay.
You're not saying anything.
I don't know where to start.
You can start with the dead clown on the floor.
He's not dead.
He's sleeping.
And what's going on with Amanda's hands? I'm allergic to goats.
True? I can explain.
Not to change the subject, but why do you have a brain.
On top of your other brain? It's been a complicated afternoon.
Yes, what the viking said.
Everybody, come to the conference room, quick.
What's wrong now? Nothing's wrong.
It's just time to blow out the candles on the birthday cake.
Birthday cake? What's happening? Is that my mail cart? I can explain.
Let's go.
Can someone get that? I think I'm hallucinating again.
Does anybody else see monsters? They're children.
Ah.
Is this a new vest? Yeah, you like it? I must say, I've never been so happy to be back.
In the relative tranquility of our office.
Okay, everybody, time for cake.
Wow, that's some cake, Uncle Troy.
I made it myself from a recipe I learned in Italy.
The secret is to use lots of olive oil in the batter.
Olive oil? Wouldn't that make the cake somewhat combustible? Well, Happy Birthday.
Mm.
Uncle Troy was right.
The olive oil does make it taste better.
Just talked to Uncle Troy.
Rennie said it was the best party she ever had.
The exploding cake didn't scare her? No, but she was a little unsettled by Amanda's hands.
Morning.
Ryan, I can't believe you're still wearing that goofy helmet.
Goofy? I'll have you know that Ktath was given this helmet.
By the wizard of destiny.
Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that.
Plus, I'm starting to get used to it.
I may leave it on permanently.
How are you gonna wash your hair? You're supposed to wash your hair? Special delivery.
We already got our morning mail.
This isn't mail.
B.
O.
B.
Tickets? How'd you get these? I know the mailroom guy at his label.
But how'd you know I wanted them? I didn't.
I just remember that day we were chilling at your house, Your mom was making cookies, and then B.
O.
B.
Came on the radio.
Sort of a perfect moment.
So does this one.
I have a feeling it's gonna be a great day, Lulu.
Oh, I like that prediction.
Morning, Oscar.
You guys are in a good mood.
B.
O.
B.
Tickets go on sale today.
B.
O.
B.
Who? Old people kill me.
Morning, Ryan.
Curious what I'm doing? Inventing an inside-out meatloaf sandwich.
With the bread on the inside and the meatloaf on the outside? Uh-huh.
Want to know why? So you can sell the patent to a major sandwich chain.
For $100 million.
Uh-huh.
And would you like to know what I'm gonna do with all the money? You're gonna buy a solid gold hot air balloon and fly it.
To cheerleader island.
Uh-huh.
And what am I gonna build when I get there? Ryan, I have a job.
Do you mind? Lulu, go get me some mayonnaise.
I have a job too.
Fine, I'll get it myself.
Anyway, tickets go on sale at At noon.
We're gonna stand in line for five hours? It'll be worth it.
Why? Did you ever have a moment so perfect, you feel like.
You'll remember it forever? The first time I held hands with Mikey J.
Yeah, like that.
Last weekend, Jimmy was over my house.
We were sitting on the floor, reading magazines.
The house smelled like cookies.
And that song by B.
O.
B.
Came on.
I thought this is a perfect moment.
I don't think I'll ever hear b.
O.
b.
And not think of Jimmy.
So are people gonna be cool if we take off for the whole day? No way.
You remember that big lecture we got about being reliable? So what are we gonna do? Sneak out.
Good plan.
We'll just wait till no one's paying attention.
Yeah, it shouldn't take long for Mr.
Madigan.
To get distracted by something.
He's like an eight-year-old.
Look at my new bat.
Why do you have a bat? I won it at auction.
It was signed by babe Ruth.
R-o-o-f.
Duped.
No wonder it only cost $1,300.
Anyone want a bat? No, thanks.
Are you sure? I'll throw in a basketball signed by Michael jorban.
Anything we could help you with? You know us, always reliable.
Actually, I was hoping to have a word with laserbeam.
He's looking for mayonnaise.
Oh, thanks.
If you need anything, we'll be right here.
You know us, always reliable.
Ah, there you are.
I was hoping to have a word.
If it's about the sandwich, the price is a hundred million.
That's non-negotiable.
I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about.
Oh.
Then what did you want? I understand you're a man with connections to the world.
Of the comic book.
Perhaps.
Mm.
I'm looking for a very hard-to-find title.
Let me guess.
The legion of creeps? Close.
Single Sandy.
Single Sandy? That frizzy-haired girl with the cat.
Who's always going on bad dates and burning her tongue on soup? Well, I don't get it either.
But Doris mentioned that she used to love it, and I thought I'd pick up the complete collection.
I know just the place.
Are you afraid of new Jersey? Isn't everyone? Shall we? True, Lulu, I'm going out with Mr.
Madigan.
I'll be back later.
Snazzy jacket, Jimmy.
Thanks, it's new.
I saw it in a store and I thought, I don't care what it costs, I'm gonna love it forever.
Good for you.
I gotta say the sleeves are my favorite part.
Where are you guys going? Comic book store.
Cool, I'll come with.
Today is the day the new Hamilton rogue drops.
What's that? You know, the vigilante mail carrier? Rain or shine, he delivers justice.
And his name is Hamilton? No, his name is rogue.
He works in Hamilton.
Come, come, gentlemen.
Oh, my cart.
I'm not in the mood, Oscar.
For what? True.
Oh, hi, Amanda.
Please stop yelling.
She's not yelling.
That goes for you too.
I'm having one of my famous migraines and I need the two of you.
To keep the office stone quiet while I go take a nap.
Nap? How long a nap? It's hard to say.
It could be the rest of the day.
Perfect.
Lulu, quiet.
Right, sorry.
Amanda, you go lie down.
We'll make sure no one disturbs you.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Shhh.
This couldn't have worked out better.
Ryan's out with Mr.
Madigan.
Now all we have to do is make sure the office.
Stays completely calm.
And as soon as Amanda falls asleep, we slip out.
Nothing can possibly go wrong.
from my head to my toes it's all real and you know fresh and cool it's just what I do t-r-u-e j-a-c-k-s-o-n v-p working at a grown-up job never really knew I could work this hard used to sit at home and watch tv now I'm in an office as the new vp I'm always setting trends with my two best friends when things get out of hand we have a plan we're just messing around and we're making new ground for the whole wide world to see if you see us in town you know it's going down 'cause I'm the new vp What do you think? Time to slip out? Let's do it.
This is awesome.
We're only five short hours away from getting B.
O.
B tickets.
Bye, Oscar.
Bye, Oscar.
Why are we whispering? Amanda has a headache.
What was that horrific thud? I just put my coffee down.
True, Lulu, where do you think you're going? Nowhere.
My office.
Why are you frantically pressing that button? I'm just making sure it works.
Yup, it works.
I thought I made it clear that I need absolute silence.
If I hear another word from you for the rest of the day, I'm going to get mad.
You won't like me when I am mad.
We don't like you now.
Well, I think you have it all under control.
Shall we? You think it's safe to leave? Mr.
Madigan's out.
Amanda's gonna be asleep.
How much safer can it get? Hey, little niece.
Uncle Troy.
I thought you went to work at our branch in Italy.
I did.
I just figured it was time to come back.
Why? They deported me.
I was just trying to fix the leaning tower of pisa.
They took away my hammer and everything.
What brings you here, Uncle Troy? Just stopping by on my way to a birthday in the park.
For one of the girls I coach in youth soccer.
I didn't know you coached soccer.
Been kicked in the face 92 times, but I don't care.
It's a nice day for a party in the park.
Sure is.
The sun's out, the weather's great.
And it's raining.
Dang.
This is terrible.
I hate to think of those little girls out in the rain.
Me, too.
So it's okay? What? To have them come up here.
Just until the rain stops.
Okay.
They can come up here.
Thanks, little niece, you're a Saint.
This is terrible.
We have to keep this place as quiet as we can.
And now Uncle Troy? He's the unluckiest guy I know.
Tell me about it.
He holds the world record for being sucked up by twisters.
I sure hope I can convince them to sell me a legion of creeps.
Convince them? It's a store.
Don't they just sell what they have? Uh, it's not like that.
They'll only sell the good stuff if they think you're worthy.
That's an insane business model.
Who would do that? Selman.
Hey.
Uh, excuse me, are you the head nerd? Who wants to know? I'm Max Madigan.
I'm looking for every issue of single Sandy.
Oh, excellent choice, ma'am.
Aisle four, next to the ladies' room.
Well, it's not for me.
Of course not.
Do you have the new Hamilton rogue? Uh, yeah, back wall, under the big sign that says "losers only.
" how you doing? How you doing? Okay, then.
Check it out.
The return of Dr.
craniac.
My favorite comic ever.
Oh, yeah, that's the one where Dr.
Craniac comes back.
Spoiler alert.
Spoiler alert.
What? It's in the title.
Still, you're supposed to say "spoiler alert.
" it's common courtesy.
Shh.
Quiet.
Quiet, please.
Girls, we're really glad to have you, but you have.
To be very, very quiet.
Can we kick soccer balls? Can you do it quietly? No.
Let's get out of here.
What was that racket? I put my cup down again? Oscar, look at my eyes.
If I hear even the slightest peep out of you, I will crack your head open like an egg.
Nod if you understand.
Hey, guy, I'm sleepy the clown.
Please stop honking.
I'm here for a birthday party.
Please stop honking.
It's up the hall and to the left.
Did I just hear a bicycle? No.
Yes, I did.
You're probably hearing things.
Happens a lot with migraines.
Hearing things, seeing things.
Well, here it says that Sandy's date is named Nick Houston.
And the next panel says, "houston, we have a problem.
" how is that a joke? It's a reference.
Well, I know it's a reference, but what's the joke? I mean, just show me where the joke is.
What are you yelling at me for? I didn't write it.
And here she's wearing a sweatshirt that says, "so many milkshakes, so little time.
" although that is true.
Great store.
I come here a lot.
What do you want? I'm just gonna cut to the Chase.
I'd like to buy a legion of creeps.
What's that? The comic book.
We don't sell comic books.
Look, you seem like a nice kid.
Why don't we start you off with something.
A little more your speed? Here's wee Willy winkle, issue two, "fun on the farm.
" enjoy.
Uh-oh.
I'm gonna feel that in the morning.
This is gonna be tougher than I thought.
Ready to go? No, I'm not leaving until I convince selman.
To sell me a legion of creeps.
Very well.
Single Sandy's date is taking her to a soup restaurant.
I suspect I know how this will end up.
Ryan, check out the goofy viking hat.
Goofy? That's the battle crown of Ktath, gomaq of the cliff people.
It happens to be a very important comic artifact.
Well, if you like it so much, why don't you try it on? And maybe I will.
Maybe you should.
Oh, sweet.
I can feel the power just surging through me.
Yeah, it's stuck.
Oh, this is bad.
Oh, what's the big deal? May I have your attention? The battle crown of Ktath has been breached.
This store is in level six lockdown.
But I'm getting married in an hour.
Any sign of Mr.
Madigan yet? Nope, still out with Ryan and Jimmy.
And Amanda settled in? Haven't heard a peep for half an hour.
Oh, good.
We can finally sneak out and get those concert tickets.
What about Uncle Troy? He's in the conference room with the kids.
I must say, all things considered, it was no trouble.
Having them here at all.
Little help? What's wrong? I'm afraid to go in there, Lulu.
It's gonna be bad.
The tables are gonna be upside down, the windows are gonna be broken.
I won't have to worry about sneaking out of my job, because I won't have a job.
I'm sure it's not that bad.
It's not that bad.
Everything looks pretty normal in here.
Except for that guy.
He looks like a clown.
He is a clown.
Oh, I'm not a big fan of clowns.
Probably because when I was really young, I saw two clowns.
Bare-knuckle fighting in the alley behind my house.
Hi.
I'm true.
And you are? Highly suspicious, so keep your distance.
I'm sleepy the clown.
I know what you're thinking, and you're right.
What am I thinking? That I got my name because I have narcolepsy and fall asleep.
Every time I get stressed.
That's not even close to what I was thinking.
What are you looking for, Uncle Troy? Goat.
A goat? You brought a goat into my office? You can't have a birthday party without a petting zoo.
We've also got 2 donkeys, 10 bunny rabbits, a dog, a cat, I don't see any animals in here.
Uh-oh.
Uncle Troy.
Can you hear that? There are snakes loose.
What is that screaming? Do I need to remind you that I need complete silence? Now toss me some aspirin.
Better.
Oscar, have you seen any animals around here? There's that security guard in the lobby.
Who eats with his hands.
No, I mean actual animals.
The air vents.
Oscar, you have to go up there and see if you can find.
Any animals.
You said what now? Don't worry, it's only snakes.
Or a goat.
Or a llama.
You said what now? Tell me again why we're cowering in a closet? Because these guys take their memorabilia very seriously.
If they see me wearing the battle crown of Ktath, who knows what they'll do.
I've got a guess.
They'll make fun of you until their moms tell them.
It's time for dinner.
This is serious.
Okay, we're talking about guys without girlfriends.
Who spend all day watching kung fu movies.
And playing violent video games.
There's a lot of pent-up hostility there.
Does anyone else feel anything weird? Uncle Max, there's glue dripping onto your head.
No, I don't think that's it.
Yes, it is.
That may be the worst thing that's ever happened to me.
No, that was.
That's a replica of the cerebrum of Dr.
Craniac.
We've got to get out of here.
For a guy with two brains, I'd thought you'd come up.
With a better plan.
Holy smokes, the legion of creeps.
You guys mind if we just stay here long enough for me to read it? What do you think you're wearing? Battle helmet.
Dr.
craniac's brain.
New jacket.
The council of retribution has met and your fates.
Have been sealed.
Look, nerds, we're not really in the mood.
For a slap fight, okay? Get him.
Not the sleeves.
Not the sleeves.
Your tie is crooked.
That's better.
I'm sorry, but I hardly need fashion tips from someone wearing.
Half a jacket or a viking hat.
What are you so cranky about? We escaped, didn't we? Barely.
I'm just glad to be back in our nice calm, quiet office.
Anything, Oscar? Nothing so far.
Just a skeleton wearing roller skates.
Is there a goat out here? That's a pretty specific question.
I'm allergic to goats.
They make my hands swell.
Nope, no goats.
Maybe it's just a side effect from your headache.
Oh, yes, Oscar mentioned it might make me hear and see things.
Hello.
Would you like a balloon doggie? Well, that would be lovely, but you're not real.
In what sense? You're a figment of my imagination.
I have a headache.
Girls, just keep it quiet out here, will you? You got it.
One order of silence, coming up.
What was that? Nothing.
What was that? Nothing.
I'm sure it wasn't the electrical system.
Getting eaten by a goat.
I thought you said there weren't any goats.
I lied.
I think I see something.
Who was that? No one.
Is that Oscar in the air duct? Amanda, you should probably go back to bed.
Yeah, what would Oscar be doing in the air duct? Uh-oh.
Wo-oh.
Is that a goat? I can explain.
Okay.
You're not saying anything.
I don't know where to start.
You can start with the dead clown on the floor.
He's not dead.
He's sleeping.
And what's going on with Amanda's hands? I'm allergic to goats.
True? I can explain.
Not to change the subject, but why do you have a brain.
On top of your other brain? It's been a complicated afternoon.
Yes, what the viking said.
Everybody, come to the conference room, quick.
What's wrong now? Nothing's wrong.
It's just time to blow out the candles on the birthday cake.
Birthday cake? What's happening? Is that my mail cart? I can explain.
Let's go.
Can someone get that? I think I'm hallucinating again.
Does anybody else see monsters? They're children.
Ah.
Is this a new vest? Yeah, you like it? I must say, I've never been so happy to be back.
In the relative tranquility of our office.
Okay, everybody, time for cake.
Wow, that's some cake, Uncle Troy.
I made it myself from a recipe I learned in Italy.
The secret is to use lots of olive oil in the batter.
Olive oil? Wouldn't that make the cake somewhat combustible? Well, Happy Birthday.
Mm.
Uncle Troy was right.
The olive oil does make it taste better.
Just talked to Uncle Troy.
Rennie said it was the best party she ever had.
The exploding cake didn't scare her? No, but she was a little unsettled by Amanda's hands.
Morning.
Ryan, I can't believe you're still wearing that goofy helmet.
Goofy? I'll have you know that Ktath was given this helmet.
By the wizard of destiny.
Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that.
Plus, I'm starting to get used to it.
I may leave it on permanently.
How are you gonna wash your hair? You're supposed to wash your hair? Special delivery.
We already got our morning mail.
This isn't mail.
B.
O.
B.
Tickets? How'd you get these? I know the mailroom guy at his label.
But how'd you know I wanted them? I didn't.
I just remember that day we were chilling at your house, Your mom was making cookies, and then B.
O.
B.
Came on the radio.
Sort of a perfect moment.
So does this one.