Big City Greens (2018) s02e26 Episode Script

[theme song plays]
One, two,
One-two-three-four ♪
[vocalizing]
[chicken squacking]
[tapping]
All right. From the top!
There's a place
where kids can be free ♪
C-O-M-M-U-N-I-T ♪
Y settle
for anything less? ♪
Community center
is the best ♪
The best! ♪
Whoo! That's
what I'm talking about!
Tilly! Great work!
Thank you, Community Sue.
But I won't be satisfied
until I can sing
a note so high,
it can only be heard
by the acute ears
of a cute critter.
I like the initiative!
Anyways, it's break time.
But hurry back!
We need way more practice
before the concert tonight.
Hi Cricket.
Have you seen Gramma?
She always has a lozenge
or two on her,
and I need to keep my voice
in tip-top condition.
Oh, yeah, she's over there
being forced to help.
[struggling]
Dang chair won't open!
This is all a bunch of blort!
[gasping]
How long have you two
been standing there?
Long enough to hear
everything you just said.
Well, how could I have
said anything if I'm not here?
What're you?
[door slams]
[snorting] Blort.
What a funny word.
Oh! How rude!
That was weird. Tilly, you're old
and wise. What's it mean?
I believe it's
what's known as a cuss word.
A cuss!?
Yes. Which is why we'd best
erase the word from our memory.
Memory wipe initiating.
Ahh.
I think not, dear sister.
I've spent all my formative years trying
to figure out the cusses.
And now I finally know one!
Know one what?
Back to your positions, people!
[evil laughter]
-Oh, hi Cricket--
-Blort!
[gasping] Cricket!
That's a bad word!
I know. Isn't it hilarious?
Give it a try!
Uh, I can't. I have a wire!
-Wha-- Cricket, what're you--
-Not anymore you don't!
Master Remy! Nooo!
C'mon, say it!
Blort. [giggling]
Blort!
-Blort!
-Blort!
[both laugh] Blort, blort,
blort, blort, blort--
Green! Remington!
What's so funny?
We were just talking
about how the gym smells like blort!
[gasping] One, it does not!
And two, you can't say that!
That's a cuss word!
What the blort's wrong with cussing?
It's blorting fun!
C'mon, y'all! Give it a try.
-Blort! [giggling]
-Blort!
-Blort!
-Blort?
-Blort-blort.
-[all] Blort, blort, blort--
Green! My office, now!
What do you have
to say for yourself?
-Blort.
-Ohh.
[door slams open]
What happened? What'd he do?
How much property damage?
Mr. Green. Your son thought
it would be funny
to say Blort.
Ohh. No, keep it together,
Bill! You knew this day would come.
He single-handedly
started an epidemic.
Thanks to him, I have
a choir of potty-mouths.
All except Tilly.
That little girlis an angel!
The best! ♪
Aww.
Cricket?
What were you thinking?
Well, Gramma said it,
and no one's getting mad at her.
Fine. If you won't stop swearing,
then you leave me no choice.
Cricket Ernest Green, I hereby forbid thee
from cursing ever again.
What?! You can't decide
what comes out of my mouth.
Only what goes in.
I am gonna curse
if I so choose.
And Imma so choose.
[deep inhale] Blort!
Blort-blort-blort!
Blort! A-blorty-blort blort.
And a-blort, blort, blorty-blort blo--
Oh, man, this is bad.
My parents are coming
to tonight's concert!
I can't let them down.
Not to worry, Sue.
I'll clean up the kids' language,
whether they like it or not.
[grunting]
[Bill] Alright, gang,
here's the deal.
You may not know this,
but bad language is bad.
It's rude and disrespectful,
so just don't do it.
[laughing] You might be able
to tell me what to do,
but you're not
the dad of everybody!
[all] Blort! Blort! Blort!
My inspirational speech has
only made 'em stronger!
How am I supposed
to get through to them?
[Officer Keys, through megaphone]
Excuse me, sir!
You left your sweat
all over this treadmill.
Please clean it up.
Or I'll be forced
to take action.
Perfect.
Ooh. The acoustics
in this squash court are ideal
to test how high I can sing!
In order for my solo
to be enjoyed by the animal kingdom,
I'll need your honest
critique, Bradley.
Now, let's begin.
[deep inhale] The be--
[glass smashing]
Huh. Well, how was that?
[squeaking]
Thanks for being honest.
Good afternoon everyone!
I'm Officer Keys.
And I'm here to lead you through the
police department's program
for at-risk mouths, called
"Can't U Speak Sweetly?"
A.K.A. "Cuss."
And here to assist me is
my good friend Tommy the Tongue!
Hey, kids!
Cricket! It's me. Your dad!
[Cricket groans]
What's poppin', Tommy T?
It's important that you speak their
language to get through to them.
Oh, uh Yo there
my, uh, homie.
I'm just jazzed because
I learned a rad new cuss word.
Whoa! Slow down, T!
You high-key wildin'!
There are zero reasons
to ever cuss.
[scoffs] I can think
of a couple reasons.
One, it's fun! And two,
it's hilarious!
There's been two reasons
all this time?
-Keys!
-Oh, uh, right, right. No cussing.
Even if it's in the lyrics
of your favorite song.
[chuckles] What're you doing?
Well, they need to know
the words in order to avoid using them.
-I--I don't think--
-Remember, kids.
Don't repeat the words!
Even when Lil Cuss is spitting mad bars!
[singer] My momma, she told me
can't cuss. Blort! ♪
Don't even know
who to trust. Cret! ♪
Tip of my tongue
ever since I was young ♪
I fubbo my dornk on a cuft ♪
Wow, I've never even heard
most of these words!
What? Surely
you've heard of swip?
-Or what about cret?
-Shh!
[kids] Swip! Cret! Cuft!
Swip! Cret! Cuft!
Oh! It's too late.
Time to go Full Dad.
[grunting]
That's it.
[speaker smashes]
This behavior ain't gonna
fly here anymore.
No more cussing.
And if you do,
you'll be in big, big trouble.
-Ah?
-[Bill grunts menacingly]
Ah
[sighs] Now, everyone
come grab a sticker!
Mr. Green.
You fix the kids yet?
I dunno. Did I?
[all make noises
of agreement]
Great! Just in time
for the concert!
Let's go, kids.
-Ahh.
-Woo! Another win for the CUSS program!
Up top! Yeah!
Wow, Community Sue went
all out. Y'all seeing this?
Ha. Yeah.
Heard you had a bit
of a language issue
with Cricket today.
Which one was it?
The B one.
Ha! I mean, uh, how'd it go?
He was stubborn. But once I went Full Dad,
he gave up pretty easy.
Maybe too easy.
Ma, gimme your binoculars.
Oh sure. It's not like
I wanted to be able
to see my grandchildren
perform, or anything.
Time for vocal warm-ups.
Do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-DOOO! ♪
Gee, Cricket, I've never seen
your dad that angry before.
Sure scared me out of swearing.
What about you.
He thinks he can control me?
I still plan on cussing.
But your father
hath forbade it!
And also you told him
you wouldn't cuss anymore.
It was a ruse!
At the end of our song,
when we sing,
"The community
center is the best,"
instead of "best"
"I'm gonna say blort."
[gasping]
The boy's gone rogue!
[tapping]
Please don't embarrass me.
[deep inhale]
There's a place
where kids can be free ♪
C-O-M-M-U-N-I-T ♪
Whoa! Ya! What the heck, Dad?
Save it. I know what you're planning,
and you're in big trouble.
Oh yeah? Well, I can't be in trouble if
you can't catch me! [laughing]
Hey! You wore
two pairs of overalls?
[growling]
OK, spooky interlude.
Candles, everyone!
There's a place
where kids can be free ♪
C-O-M-M-U-N-I-T ♪
[suspenseful music]
Ohh. Eh.
[squelching]
Huh?
[dramatic music]
Aah! Whoa!
Bet you didn't wear three pairs
of overalls today, did you?
I tried, but it made
my butt look chunky.
Good. Then how about it, boy?
-Ready to give up yet?
-Fine.
You got me this time.
But you're not always gonna
be around to police me.
And the second you're not,
I'm gonna say whatever I want.
You're right, Cricket.
I am?
Yup. I can't control
what comes out of your mouth
any more than
I can control the wind.
I can control the wind!
Watch. [blowing]
What I'm trying
to say is that, well
You're your own person.
And it's time you made your own decisions.
So, from now on, you can say
whatever you want.
I won't stop you.
Wow. Really?
I hereby give you full
permission to cuss.
You just gotta decide
if that's the kind of person you wanna be.
Good luck with the rest
of the show, son.
Hm. Oh, well!
Time to drop the B-bomb.
Big finish, everyone!
Here we go!
There's a place
where kids can be free ♪
C-O-M-M-U-N-I-T ♪
Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!
[kids exclaiming]
Community center is the ♪
Uh
Um
Is the ♪
Best ♪
It is the best! ♪
[applause]
[gasping]
That's all, folks.
Thanks for coming out! Huh?
Mom! Dad! You came!
Of course!
We love you!
Ahh!
-Nice work, Alice.
-[Gramma grunts]
-[Cricket] Mom! Dad!
-[Tilly] Mama! Papa!
Hey kids, great concert!
Yeah, incredible singing.
Thank you.
I especially liked
your performance, son.
Very restrained.
Heh. Thanks, Dad.
I thought about cussing.
But eventually I realized
I didn't wanna be the jerk
that ruined everyone's day.
Aw. That's all
I could ever ask.
Alright, gang. Show's over.
Let's get the blort outta here.
[all giggle]
Psst. Do you know
why we're sitting here?
I dunno, but I think
Dad's having a meltdown.
Dad is not having a meltdown!
-Kay.
-[yelling]
[inhaling deeply] OK.
So, I was checking our books,
and vegetable stand is broke.
-[Tilly] What?!
-[Cricket] What, seriously?
Which means we need to sell
all of our fruits
and vegetables today.
Or else I'll lose my livelihood
and I don't know
if I'll be able
to feed or clothe any of you.
Woof.
How are we supposed to sell
all of our vegetables?
That never happens!
Cricket, we're gonna work
together as a family
to save the farm.
[all exclaim]
Woo, yeah!
What can I do to help?
Oh, hi Gloria.
I forgot that you lived here.
Don't worry about it,
we've got it under control.
What? If you're in this much trouble,
you must need some extra hands.
Look, it'suh, farm stuff.
Selling vegetables
isn't like making lattes.
You can feed the chickens for me.
That's exactly like making lattes.
Cricket, how are you
making lattes?
Seriously,
don't worry about it.
Not everyone's cut out
for farming. And that's OK.
Yeah, lots of people
can't do stuff.
I still think you're cool,
Gloria.
-See?
-Uh, but
So, we'll go save
the vegetable stand,
while you stay here
and hang out!
You can keep chillaxin'
to the maxin'.
Everyone else?
We sell, or we starve.
[Cricket sighs]
They think I'm useless! Ugh.
I know. I'll feed
Cricket's chickens.
That'll prove
ol' Gloria's worth.
Hmm. Chicken food,
chicken food.
I mean, how hard can this be?
Everyone likes bananas.
They're healthy.
Oh, wow.
There's a lot of you, huh?
-Well, I hope you--
-[loud clucking]
-[chicken squacks]
-Oh no! Chickens, come back!
OK guys, huddle up.
We need a game plan
to sell these veggies.
No idea's a bad idea.
So, what've you got for me?
Selling is all about publicity.
And what would bring in
more publicity than a publicity stunt?
Sales are about
a personal connection.
I will therefore connect,
and build an empire of commerce
using only my eyes.
Fear's what motivates sales!
That's how you sell diet soda
and insurance.
All 10 out of 10 ideas, family.
Three, two, one
[all] Sale!
Green family farm forever!
And now, to man
the cash register.
Aah! I forgot
the cash register!
It's time for Tilly tactics.
Let's make
a personal connection.
Hey, you in the red coat!
-Uh, me?
-Yes, you. Come to Tilly.
Uh, OK.
-What's your name?
-Angela.
Angela! What a beautiful name.
Uh, thank you?
Now tell me, Angela,
would you like to buy
some vegetables from me?
Uh, no thank you.
Ah, we'll just have
to keep gazing
until we've made a strong
personal connection
that motivates you
to buy our vegetables.
Ium
Ba-ba-ba.
Don't break eye contact.
Just look at me.
[Cricket]
Come one, come all!
To the Green family farm's
publicity stunt spectacular!
Prepare to have
your minds blown!
Your boons daggled!
All taking place at the Green family
farm's booth this afternoon!
Wanna go check it out?
Uh, sure.
That's the spirit!
OK, Alice, let's scare
the dollars right out of their wallets.
Oh, boy! Hot dog time!
Hot dog time! Hot dog time!
Hot dog?
Don't you know what
this unhealthy garbage does to you?
Fills up my tummy yummy yummy?
No! It'll make your bones rot!
Eat your vegetables, you idiot!
-Gimme that!
-La la la la--ooh!
Ice cream'll make
your hair fall out!
Fruits and veggies are the only
things keeping us alive!
If you don't eat
enough veggies,
your body will shrivel up!
Like a grape in the sun!
Just look at me!
I'm only 25!
[bystanders scream]
And make sure you buy
your produce
at Green family farms.
[chuckling]
We'll be raking in the dough
with the stand in no time.
-[Gloria grunts]
-[chicken squacks]
Ha! Gotcha!
See? I can farm!
-[chicken squacks]
-Actually
You're pretty cool looking
for a chicken.
Gonna just post this.
[camera clicks]
Hashtag it up.
-[chicken squacks]
-Hm?
I left the chicken door open!
-[chickens squacking]
-No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
The Greens' chickens!
[panting] Aah! [grunts]
No, no, no, no!
Do chickens understand busses?
[chicken squacks]
[tires squealing]
-Did you know about this?
-[chicken squacks]
Chickens!
Alright, everyone, this way
for the Cricket Green
publicity stunt spectacular!
Wow, son. You sure were able
to bring in a lot of customers.
Oh, it was easy once I told
them about my big fat stunt.
What exactly are you gonna do?
Well, father, I thought
you'd never ask.
Take a look! I built a ramp
out of old rickety crates
from the dumpster.
Which I am going to ride down.
Then I'll hit the jump,
fly over the farmers market,
smash into the center
of the bullseye,
then for safety I'll fall into
that precariously balanced
bucket of water on a stick.
Simultaneously cleaning me,
while activating
the bath bombs I've taped
to mine bare buttocks
launching me straight
into the air,
and exploding
for a bubbly finale!
Wow.
Oh, and did I mention
that I'll be covered in honey?
[bystanders exclaiming]
Hold on. How does that
help us sell vegetables?
You tell me. You're already
manning the merch table.
Merch table?
"Cricket's stunt. I was there."
Well, I'll be. You really think
this is gonna work?
Trust me, Dad. I'm a genius.
Show starts in 5, people!
Gee, Cricket's sure
giving it his all.
How're you
doing, sweetie? Hm.
So tell me, Angela,
what do you fear?
I guess, being alone forever.
Wait. Why did I tell you that?
Because our connection
grows stronger.
Soon you will be purchasing
a bounty of our vegetables.
Do you feel it, Angela?
I don't know. I'm scared.
-[Tilly] We're connecting.
-[squelching]
Aah! Ew!
Our eyeballs touched! Oh!
Drat.
You gotta eat fruits
and veggies
from Green's family farm!
You! You would've gotten into law school
if you ate more broccoli!
It's true!
Don't I know it? Ain't no one
nothing without their veggies!
-Ain't no one--
-[Officer Keys] Whoa, there.
What's with all
the commotion, Mrs. Green?
Stay outta this, Keys.
It ain't illegal
to sell tomatoes.
Well, no, but it is illegal
to harass all of these people.
You ungrateful snitches!
Well, if that's the way
it's gonna be,
I ain't going out
without a fight! Hi-yah!
[inhales sharply] Attacking
a police officer is a serious offence.
You're coming with me.
I failed as a businesswoman.
My plan went belly-up, Papa.
You tried your best, sweetie,
and I'm sure everything will be OK.
Maybe Gramma's plan will--
[Gramma struggling]
You earned yourself
a stay in time out!
No cell can hold me!
Just you wait!
Our fate is
in Cricket's hands, now.
[Tilly] Hmm.
[brakes hiss]
[chickens squacking]
Oh! Chickens! Why? Ugh.
They actually took the bus
to the farmers market?
Where the Greens are? No!
OK. It's up to me and Gramma
to save the stand.
Cricket! Gramma's out!
It's up to you, now!
So it goes.
-[squelching]
-Yah!
Green family farm forever!
Yah!
I'm gonna buy a ton of produce
from their stand if this works!
[chicken squacking]
Yah-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Aah! [grunting]
[all] Boo! Disappointing!
-Oh, my.
-[chicken squacking]
Hello?
We'll continue this time out
back at the station.
Just as soon as I find my keys.
-[chicken squacking]
-Hey! I know you!
[Gramma chuckling]
Wait, are these our chickens?
They are! But shouldn't they be
at home with Gloria?
Yes. They should be.
Hi Mr. Green.
Gloria. Did you let out
all of our chickens?
Yes! Jeez.
Hello everyone.
It's true. I am useless.
I couldn't even feed chickens,
and now they're all over the place.
Well, don't worry about them.
You just didn't know to never
open up the coop
when Tilly's out of the house.
Look! They'd travel
any distance for her.
Come to me, my poopy angels.
I know you were just trying to help,
but no one's good at everything.
Don't worry, Gloria.
We're useless, too.
We didn't sell anything today!
Mm-hmm. Lots of vegetables
still on the stand.
[Bill] Yeah, that ain't good.
I guess we still
have some time.
Come on, y'all, let's make
ourselves useful.
[cell phone buzzes]
Hoopa-doop! Hey Greens,
check it out!
I posted this picture of one
of your chickens this morning,
because she looked cool,
Yeah, I can see it.
I hashtagged it "cool,"
"chicken," and "cool chicken,"
and it went viral!
Gloria, I don't understand.
Are you all on social?
Uh
OK, well, you should be!
That way people will know
what you're selling.
Take a pic,
and throw on a filter,
hot stuff! Ready to post.
Wow, Gloria, you're
like a doctor at this!
Yeah, I am good at this!
Hey, Bill, do you have any
extra shirts in your truck?
Yes. And why?
[grunts] Instant uniforms!
Huh. Now, that's an idea.
-[indistinct chatter]
-[camera clicks]
Number sign, potato.
I'm an influencer!
Hey, all! Still going good?
Yeah, Gloria. We're selling tons!
Thank you.
Yeah, we even got a customer
who saw your post
and drove all the way
from Medium City!
Medium City, Gloria!
And these uniforms are
really doing stuff!
I'll take these tomatoes,
young man.
How's that? I just sold
the last vegetable!
The stand is saved!
I dunno. Looks like we still
have a coconut in there.
[chuckling] I get it.
Sorry for dismissing
you earlier.
I should've seen you
for what you could do.
Instead of what you couldn't.
It was very cool of you
to save our behinds like you did.
Yeah. It was cool
Man. Not as cool
as that chicken!
[chicken squacking]
I got sweat in my eyes ♪
Lost a bet and
Got bit by a hundred flies ♪
I fell out a big old tree ♪
Hit every branch and
Scraped up both my knees ♪
I got chased by dogs
Licked by a frog ♪
Got a rash on my legs ♪
Dropped a dozen eggs ♪
I got splinters ♪
In seven of ten ♪
And tomorrow
I'll do it all again ♪