True Jackson, VP (2008) s02e26 Episode Script

True Jackson, VP was filmed in front of a live studio audience.
Somebody call the humane society, 'cause I'm smashing this birdie.
You might wanna take it down a notch, Ryan.
You take it down a notch.
I rolled on my grown man deodorant this morning.
It means I play hard, and I play to win.
Owww! Forfeit, true and Jimmy.
We did it.
We won! We're on a roll.
Yeah! I'm sorry, Jimmy.
That's okay.
I get more hugs when we lose.
Oh, true, have you seen this? It's a newspaper, right? My grandma told me about those.
Yeah, we studied them in history.
Apparently, back in olden times, that's how people got their information.
It appears congratulations are in order.
There is a big splashy article about up-and-coming designers.
That girl is cute.
Wait, that's me.
So, it is.
And I couldn't be happier for you.
That's awesome.
My girlfriend is in the newspaper.
How come he can pull stuff out of the trash and I can't? It's not a trash can on the street, and he's not eating it.
I wasn't eating, I was tasting.
I'm curious.
It's a curse.
Can I have this, or do you want it? You can keep it.
I'll pick one up later, when I go out.
Anyone wanna go out? I'll go.
Ahh.
Wanna take the stairs? Uh-huh.
You wanna play some singles? Yeah, sure.
Uh-oh! No.
My stomach.
Hi, Oscar, hi, Amanda, just picking up the paper that I was in.
Hmph, I'm surprised you only bought one.
Little help.
Use your legs, Lulu, not your back.
That's not what I meant by little help.
Oh, by the way, true, you got a call from Leon themas.
Leon themas, the actor? Why would he be calling me? Oh, maybe he saw the article and wants to holla at you.
But I don't even know him.
Oh, sometimes famous people just pick up the phone and call other famous people.
It's one of the perks.
Wait.
You said other famous people.
Am I other famous people? It's true, true.
And if the song is correct, you're going to live forever and learn how to fly.
I'm famous? I'm famous.
From my head to my toes It's all real and you know Fresh and cool It's just what do T-R-U-E-J-A-C-K-S-O-N-V-P Working at a grown-up job I never really knew I could work this hard Just used to sit at home and watch tv Now I'm in an office as the new VP I'm always setting trends With my two best friends When things get out of hand We have a plan We're just messin' around And we're makin' new ground For the whole wide world to see If you see us in town You know it's goin' down 'Cause I'm the new VP I can't do it.
True, you can't just blow off a famous actor.
He might get mad and say something nasty about you on the kcas.
Leon, wouldn't do that.
He is too nice.
You can just tell.
Totally nice, and hot.
Call him.
I already have a boyfriend.
Anyway, why would Leon wanna talk to me? Good news, I don't need major reconstructive cheek surgery.
I talked to the doctor who said it was probably a boo-boo, and to stop bothering him.
When did you become a hypochondriac? Couple weeks ago, after I got bit by that ladybug.
What are you guys doing? I'm trying to convince true to call Leon themas back.
Leon themas? From tv? Yeah, he's my new celebrity friend.
Amanda said famous people call other famous people, even if they don't know them.
I'm thinking about going to Oprah's for dinner.
I'll be all, "ding dong, "it's famous designer "true Jackson.
"let me in.
I want some biscuits.
" you should so do that.
Ahh, all right.
This is it.
I'm calling Leon.
Hello? Hello? Uh I'm over here.
And I'm over here.
Who is this? It's Leon.
I'm here in your office.
You can't be in my office, because you're in my office? Oh-oh, I was just about to call you back.
Cool.
I read that article about you in the paper.
You read the paper? Well, my grandma does.
Oh, anyway, it just said where you work.
So, I figured I'd stop by.
Hope that's okay.
It's okay.
It's way okay.
I'm Lulu.
Big fan.
My mom ripped two of your posters off my wall.
That's why I do what I do.
It appears we have the same effect on the ladies.
I'm Ryan.
Great to meet you.
You hail from Brooklyn, correct? That's right.
I enjoy spike Lee and your bridge.
Um, anyway, I'm presenting at the movie movie awards tonight, best underwater 3d kiss in a foreign film.
That's a major category.
Yeah, a lot of pressure.
Hate to face it all alone.
I know it's short notice, but would you like to come? To the awards? With you, tonight? That would be amazing.
But I have a boyfriend.
This guy? Gross! No offense.
None taken.
Anyway, I don't think he'd be cool with him.
I'm sorry.
Besides, she's having dinner at Oprah's tonight.
Oh, I was there last night.
Great biscuits.
Anyway, call me if you change your mind.
I'm sharing a limo with jay-z and that kid from the tootie fruits commercial.
Can you get me his autograph? Jay-z? No, the kid.
I'm a member of his fan club.
I wrote him 2,000 letters.
His lawyer wrote me a really nice one back.
Yeah, I should be goin'.
Ah, call me if you change your mind or even if you don't.
That guy seemed really nice.
I'm gonna send him a letter.
Hey.
Hey, true, check it out.
There's that cute girl again.
This time I knew it was me.
What's going on? You're really gonna think this is funny, but Leon themas came by to say hi to me.
The actor? Uh-huh.
You're really gonna think this is funny.
He asked me to go to the movie movie awards with him tonight.
Oh.
But don't worry, I told him no.
You can go if you want.
No, no, it's cool.
We can watch it on tv.
Really, you should go.
How often do you get to go to a cool show with famous people? Really? You wouldn't mind? Not at all.
The new Lincoln stamp drops tomorrow, and I wanna get a good place in line.
Now, I better get these packages downstairs before the next pickup.
Ryan, are you reading that magazine upside down? Yes, I am.
It's more difficult this way, but ultimately, more rewarding.
Doesn't it give you a headache? I would describe it as blinding.
Come along, laserbeam, we've got work to do.
I'm sorry, sir.
None of those words made any sense to me.
I think I may have found the perfect face for our new doggie design line.
May I present bones? Aw, he's so cute.
Indeed.
Bones is already the buzz of Broadway.
He's the first dog to star in Cat on a hot tin roof.
He's just the kind of edgy groundbreaker we need to jump start our line.
Again, why are you telling me? Because I want you to be my right hand on this one.
You've got the smarts, you've got the savvy, and I know for a fact that dogs like you.
I saw 10 of them following you down the street yesterday.
Technically, those were squirrels, and it probably had more to do with the nuts I keep in my sock.
You want one? Maybe in the car.
Let's go.
Where are they going? Mr.
Madigan thinks Ryan works here again.
Oh.
What's wrong? I don't know.
I told Jimmy that Leon asked me to the movie movie awards.
Oh no, did he freak out? Worse.
He didn't freak out at all.
In fact, he wanted me to go.
That's weird.
I know.
If Megan fox came in here asking Jimmy on a picnic, I'd be all, "nuh-uh, sister, "you're not having no picnic with my man.
" really? You'd say that to Megan fox? Yeah.
Then I'd get my picture taken with her.
True, did I hear you were invited to the movie movie awards? Yeah, but I don't think I'm gonna .
.
You can't not go to an award show.
It isn't done.
There will be cameras there, lots of cameras.
So what? So, you owe it to your career, and to mad style.
Any publicity for you is publicity for the company.
The thing is, Amanda, I was invited by a boy.
But I'm dating Jimmy.
This isn't junior high, true.
It's business.
I really don't see how u u can refuse.
Well, I wanna help out mad style, and Jimmy did say it was okay.
Maybe I will go.
Ha-ha, that's the spirit.
Now, you'll probably walk the red carpet.
If you like, I can teach you how to pose.
That's okay.
Come on.
Let me see your best pose.
Wrong.
Hand on hip, one leg out, flirty smile.
Now this time I want you to walk like you don't know there's going to be a camera.
Camera! How do you get these pecans so warm and salty? Sometimes I hit the gym before work.
Quick question, Mr.
Madigan, "why are we here?" we need to convince bones' manager to let him do our campaign.
The entire fate of doggie fashion hangs in the balance.
Ah, gentlemen.
I am so sorry to keep you waiting.
My name is Lionel Bennett, and this, of course, is bones.
I'm Max Madigan, and this is my colleague, Ryan laserbeam.
Not only am I Mr.
Madigan's colleague, I also work with him.
I see.
This is a great honor, bones.
We're big fans.
Um, gentlemen, do allow me to cut to the Chase.
I'm sorry to tell you that we are not interested in your fashion campaign at this time.
Why not? Well, frankly, we've been circling several theatrical productions, including a Chekhov revival.
I just know that bones is ready to leave his mark on the cherry orchard.
Leave his mark.
Get it? Thank you ever so much for coming in.
Uh wait, why don't we ask bones which project he'd like to do? Ask bones? Yes.
I mean, it is his career we're talking about.
And how do you propose we do that? Why, Ryan, of course.
He happens to be a world renowned dog psychic.
I'm sorry, what? You've got connections around town, right, Oscar? I know people who know people.
I was wondering if you could get tickets to the movie movie awards.
I'd like to take true.
No, they don't sell those.
You have to be invited.
Right.
But I can get you guys tickets to katz.
The musical? No, the life story of Mel katz, New York's first accountant.
I'll take 'em.
Hey, Jimmy.
Hey, true.
About tonight.
So, you're sure you don't mind? Mind? If I go to the movie movie awards with Leon.
Oh yeah, I don't care at all.
You don't? Nope.
Not at all? Not at all.
Okay.
Well, I better call Leon.
What was it that you want to tell me? It was nothing.
I'll see you later.
Hey, Leon? If the offer is still open, I'd love to go tonight.
After-party at rihanna's house? Awesome.
A big pizza party at the main branch? Sounds awesome, Hank.
Wooh! It doesn't look like I'm trying too hard, does it? No, it totally looks like you just threw it together.
Perfect, and it only took four hours.
Jimmy doesn't know what he's missing.
I'm not sure he cares what he's missing.
Guys are weird.
Mikey J calls me every hour and tells me he loves me.
How's that supposed to make me feel better? At least you get a full night's sleep.
Okay, bag selection.
Bag number one says, "I'm young, fresh, wholesome.
" bag number two says, "I'm hot, edgy, and fierce.
" and we have a winner.
True, they called from the lobby.
Your limo is here.
Limousines, fancy clothes, famous people, I could get used to this.
You're my best friend.
So, don't take this the wrong way.
But I sort of hate you.
Aw, it's okay, Lulu.
I'd sort of hate me, too.
But I'm serious.
Are you seriously telling me that this boy can talk to dogs? Oh, not just dogs, cats, horses, monkeys, anything that doesn't mind pooping outside.
Hey, hey, watch the language, mister.
Someone is not happy with his bird feed.
That's absurd.
Phil always cleans his plate.
Yeah, he also wants you to cool it with the opera music, and cover his cage when you change.
You seem awfully young to be a professional psychic.
No, it's not a job, it's a gift.
Tell him, Ryan.
I was 10 years old, standing on a mountain in Tibet, seeking spiritual enlightenment.
The heat was overwhelming, water was scarce.
Then it happened.
My yak asked me how much longer we were gonna be there.
Amazing.
Are you sure you weren't just experiencing heat stroke? That's the first thing that I asked the yak, but he said, "no.
" then, just to be sure, I asked him to think of a number between 1 and 10.
I said four, and he just shook his head.
There's no arguing with science.
All right, fine.
Why don't you ask bones which project he'd prefer to do? Oh, excellent.
Go ahead, Ryan.
I will need complete silence.
Phil, please, you gotta stop complaining about the bird food.
I'm positively stunned.
He's always relished mealtime.
And now, I enter the dimension of the beast.
Bones, I wanna ask you an important question, do you wanna be in a boring production of the cherry orchard or do you want to be the face of a glamorous fashion campaign? Amanda, look at this.
Large cracks have appeared in the earth's surface.
Who cares about that? I wanna watch the movie movie awards.
Oh, arrivals.
My favorite.
Do you see true? Not yet.
But there's the star of nantucket homicide.
Oh yeah.
He's the one with the catch phrase, "case closed, "now who's in the mood for chowdah?" now, that's odd.
Lady gaga's wearing a catcher's mitt on her head, and it's after labor day.
Wait, I think I see true.
Oh, she looks great.
Oh, hand on hip.
Hand on hip.
What the heck is she doing? Look Jimmy, there's true.
Yeah.
E looks like she's having fun.
You guys have anything going out? Uh not just now.
Call me if you do.
It's getting pretty late.
Would you please be quiet, we're watching famous people walk.
I may be standing here in the daylight, but that has not stopped the stars from coming out.
And that's not just a clever phrase I'm reading ofththe prompter, it's a fract.
Whoa, typo, guys.
I see that Oprah winfrey is here, and she is throwing biscuits to her fans.
And here we have the star of stage and screen, Leon themas.
Hey, Leon, you got that five bucks you owe me? I don't even know you.
Keepin' it real, I love it.
Good to have you here, buddy.
Great to be here.
And I see you're here with fashion sensation, True Jackson.
How do you know that? Who told you my name? Are you wearing one of true's designs? Not tonight, but maybe some other time.
I'm a big fan.
As is my producer, Connie.
She's a real special lady.
No shenanigans though, I'm married.
So true, is this your first time at the movie movie awards? Yes, but I'm hoping it's not my last.
Next year, I'll be the one throwing biscuits to the crowd.
Okay, you kids, have a good time tonight.
Hand on hip.
Hand on hip.
How hard is that? Kopelman, camera.
Perfect.
See, even a monkey can do it.
I said I was sorry, Mr.
Madigan.
Go, tell it to someone with a snout.
What happened? I gave laserbeam one simple assignment: Convince bones to be the face of our new doggie line.
I tried.
I looked him right in the eye and asked if he wanted to do it.
And? He said no, clear as a bell.
But why did you have to tell anyone? Hmph! What is with you? What? Don't you care about true? Of course, I do.
Well, it doesn't seem like it.
She's out with some other guy, and you couldn't care less.
And then she's on tv, and you're too busy sorting mail to even watch.
Because I can't watch.
Why not? It's sort of killing me.
It is? She's going places, Lulu, places I can't take her.
But she really likes you.
I can't give her all the things she deserves: Limousines and fancy restaurants.
Last week, I couldn't even get a reservation at whiskers.
Whiskers.
She doesn't care about those things.
Sure she does.
You saw the way she was smiling on tv, ear to ear.
Jimmy, from the moment she saw you, she was hooked.
And you're blowing it.
I don't know.
All she wants is to know you care.
So, if you're that guy, you need to show her.
You need to fight.
Then I'll fight.
You will? I'm the mail guy, Lulu.
It's time to deliver.
Go, mail guy.
I can't believe I said that.
Sorry, sorry.
Pardon me.
Excuse me.
Pardon me.
Ticket.
I'm a presenter.
Who are you? I'm kenny Chesney.
Big fan.
Knock 'em dead, man.
For breakout star of the year, the nominees are: Dakota fanning, the big guy from the blind side, Justin bieber, and Woody Allen.
Tootie fruit? No, thanks.
So, you having fun? Are you kidding? This whole night has been like a dream.
You seem distracted.
I'm just thinking about the new Lincoln stamp.
It comes out tomorrow, you know.
>that's great.
Wait, what'd you say? And the winner is Woody Allen.
Accepting the award is Mr.
Allen's accountant, Mel katz.
I sorry, whoever you are, but right now, there's something I need to say, "true Jackson, I love you.
" you know that guy? Hey, that's kenny Chesney.
I don't care about what anyone thinks.
I'm gonna say it 1,000 times.
Run, kenny Chesney! I love you, True Jackson.
We're gonna need an ambulance for kenny Chesney.
Hello? Yes, he is, please hold.
It's for you.
Who is it? I don't know.
Hello.
Oh, hey, bones.
No, I'm not mad.
If you'd rather do the play, that's your business.
Go to e park? Sounds good.
Yeah, Phil can come.
All right, I'll see you there.
I guess, true's not the only one who made a famous friend today.
I don't know how much more of Leon themas we're gonna be seeing.
Hey.
Dude, what happened to your eye? Did those security guards beat you up? No, they just held my arms back while Mel katz punched me in the face.
Ow.
Sorry.
It was worth it.
Let me get you some ice for that thing.
I thought you were going to the park.
Oh, yeah.
Never mind, you'll be fine.
Come on, laserbeam! I think I found us a lead for another dog for the campaign.
His name is Rat Tag! - I've never heard of them.
- Oh not yet, you haven't.
But he's going to be huge.
He's just shoot a music video for Gwen Stefani.
- He's in it? - No.
He directed it.
So, you feel like getting something to eat? Sure.
As long as you're okay to not going anywhere fancy.
Of course I'm ok.
We can go somewhere simple, like Whiskers.
Perfect.
See if you can get me a reservation at Whiskers?