Hannah Montana s02e27 Episode Script

-Dahliano, I -Don't speak.
-But I -No, no, no, don't speak.
Now you may speak.
Honey, this outfit deserves more than speaking.
It deserves the Hannah Happy Dance.
I love my outfit I love my outfit She loves her outfit She loves her outfit I am a genius I am a genius So, where will we be wearing us? The Oscars, the Emmys, the Grammys? The Sunshine Girls.
I'm being honoured as their Role Model of the Year! Why not just take these pins and jam them into my flesh? There'll be a tonne of rich moms asking who I'm wearing.
And that is why, as you can see, you are my favourite pop star.
Dahli! Hello, Dahli! It's Isis! Move it, pop princess.
The queen has arrived.
Isis! I love her! Immaterial Girl was my theme song when I was six! She's my idol! I hog-called Impress Yourself at the Buford County fair and won second prize! What won first? Uncle Earl belching Sweet Home Alabama.
Good story.
But stop talking and help me make this room presentable.
Better.
Hey! Sweetness, you're adorable, but you look like Raggedy Ann threw up all over you.
Darling, I'm here! Oh, my.
It's you.
It's me? It's you! Yes, it is, but it's also you.
I think you're fabulous.
You think I'm fabulous? I think you're fabulous! -Thank you.
-Thank me? Thank you! I grow tired of this.
So, what bit of brilliance is my little Dahli creating for you? This.
What do you think? I love it! -Can we have a moment? -Of course.
Darling, do you mind? I am so glad that you like my outfit.
Darling, I also like seaweed wraps, but I don't wear them in public.
I mean, look at that thing.
It's so Hannah Montana.
That's because I am Hannah Montana.
You You didn't think I was someone else, did you? You want to know how I survived all these years? Change! Constant change.
New looks, new sound.
You have to know what's next and do it first, because If you don't change Do a rearrange Everyone will go "She's boring.
" -They will? -Yes! If you want to stay on top, you have to think outside the box.
I always have a next, a next-next, and this morning, during yoga, I got a glimpse of my next-next-next.
And Antonio Banderas with his leg behind his head! Wowza! So, you already have your next-next-next? I don't even know what I'm having for dinner tonight.
In that case, it was a nice little career.
Nothing to be ashamed of.
I wasn't.
Until now.
You're still here? Hey, Hannah? Dahliano says we have to go.
What do you want to do next? I don't know.
come on! You get the limo out front Hottest styles, every shoe every colour Yeah, when you're famous it can be kind of fun It's really you but no one ever discovers Who would have thought that a girl like me Would double as a superstar? You get the best of both worlds chill it out, take it slow Then you rock out the show You get the best of both worlds Mix it all together And you know that it's the best of both worlds Hey, how are you? It's such a nice day, let's go out on the deck and enjoy it.
What do you say? How can I enjoy the day? Look at my outfit.
What are you talking about? It's classic Hannah Montana.
That's a terrible thing to say! Of course it is.
I hate it.
Help me, Lilly.
Well, I would, but I think I stepped in something.
What? She met Isis today, who told her Hannah's career's in trouble.
Honey, now, why would Hannah's career be in trouble? Because if she doesn't have a next-next, she's going to lose her pants? -Fans! Fans! -Fans! Fans! She thinks if she doesn't change her sound and her look, her fans will get bored.
Darling, that's not going to happen.
I can hear him! You know how much your audience loves you.
Now.
But what about a year from now? Isis has been on top for 20 years because she always mixes it up.
Shoot, honey, I know a lot of pop stars who never mixed it up and they still have great careers today.
Like who? Who wants pie? I'll have pie! I'm so excited about going out with you this weekend, Becky.
You won't be sorry for giving me a second chance.
Or a third chance? You know what? You're cute when you're clumsy.
And you're cute when your nose is bleeding.
Here, let me clean that up for you.
Get out while you can.
He brings everyone down to his level.
Well, I guess I'll see you Saturday night.
And Thursday and Friday night from your bushes.
-Go away! -You go away.
-You go away.
-You go away.
You guys are so funny.
You're like two sisters, but you're boys.
You mean like brothers? Right.
Whatever.
I'm confused.
They say opposites attract, yet you're both stupid.
I'm going to let you get away with that because I'm a nice guy and because I need an advance on my salary for my date.
-Sure.
-Come on! What? As a matter of fact, consider it a gift.
Okay, what's the catch? No catch.
There is, however, a condition.
For the rest of today, every time someone says the word "dog," you have to Hot dog over here.
Can we get seven dogs? Yeah, Rico, I'm barking.
I'm barking all the way to the bank! Hey, tomorrow, maybe I can moo for moola.
Let's just see where barking takes us.
-What do you want, honey? -I'll have a hot dog.
What did you say to her? Nothing.
Just get her the hot dog.
You calling my girlfriend a dog? That's it, you're dog meat! A new sound, that can't be too hard to come up with.
Hey! Hey, what about hip-hop? Dude, that'd be totally cool.
I don't know.
You mean like Half-dolla Hannah? I'm a Half-dolla Hannah You can call me five dimes You can call me anything As long as it rhymes And if you don't like it Well, I don't really care 'cause I'm Half-dolla Hannah And I got facial hair Word 'Fraid not.
Well, what about something a little more retro? You know, like techno-Hannah.
Techno-Hannah? clip it, clip it clip it real good Then chip it, chip it Like Tiger Woods That one could hurt people.
I don't understand.
This seems so easy for Isis.
I mean, she can go from slam rock to glam rock, from punk to funk.
That's why she's the queen of pop, and if I don't do something You'll be the queen of flop? Sorry.
It was right there.
I will not be the queen of flop.
If Isis can do a 180 every few years, so can I.
Wait a minute.
That's it! Of course that's it! What's it? I just have to be the opposite of Hannah.
The anti-Hannah.
Of course, the anti-Hannah! What's the anti-Hannah? You'll see.
Well, I used to be a nice girl Always doing what I'm told And I'm here to tell you, baby That it's getting kind of old Say goodbye to all the sparkles And all the pretty girly lace I'm gonna chew your little heart up And then I'll spit it in your face So, what do you think of the new Hannah? -I know.
Surprising, isn't it? -Yeah.
-And different, right? -Surprisingly different.
Exactly what I was going for.
A Hannah no one will expect! Or ever wants to see again.
At all.
Maybe.
I'm just guessing.
All right, I know it's a bit edgy for me, but that's what Isis says I've got to do.
Surprise my audience.
Well, honey, let's think about this now.
Surprising them is one thing, but scaring the bejeebees out of them is another.
Hey, Daddy, I hate to say this, but you're not exactly the hip audience I'm trying to reach.
I'll have you know I'm very hip.
Fo'sizzle.
Okay, one, it's fo'shizzle.
Four years ago.
And second, your idea of a big Saturday night is sitting on the couch with your easy-fit jeans unbuttoned watching Law & Order: Old coot Division.
Well, I'm sorry I'm such a geezer, but it didn't seem to bother anybody when I was writing 15 straight number ones for Hannah Montana, none of which involved a face full of sputum.
-Sputum? -I think it's old-coot for "spit.
" Y'all like the next Hannah, right? One second.
We hate her.
-Why? -She scares us.
-What do you guys know? -Maybe they know what's good.
Please, they wouldn't know what good is if it hit them in the face.
Hey, leave us out of your little disputum.
-Nice wordplay.
-Thank you.
Well, at least we know the title of Hannah's next album.
Like Me or I'll Hit You in the Face.
Come on.
You guys are all just trying to keep me in a box.
And an artist has to keep moving.
And if you don't agree with me, I don't care! Miley, I'm sorry, but this is a really bad idea.
A bad, scary idea.
Honey, I don't wanna tell you what to do, but just Then don't! I know what I am doing and I am gonna prove it to you tomorrow.
The next Hannah is going to blow the roof off of the Sunshine Girls Benefit.
Sweet niblets.
I'm going to have to buy myself a truckload of Sunshine Girl cookies to get myself out of this one.
Well, that was the best day ever.
Here you go, Rover.
Who's a good boy? What is wrong with you? Couldn't you find something better to do with your day? You know, the next time you're bored, why don't you go hang out with your friends or something? Wait a minute.
You don't have any friends, do you? Hey, I got plenty of friends.
There's No, he's suing me.
Okay, but But there's No, I'm suing him.
I'm really good friends with my brother, Mateo.
Well, we will be if he ever agrees to settle out of court.
You know, Rico, maybe if you were just nice to people instead of making them dance like a monkey, people would actually want to hang out with you.
-Wait.
-What? You're right.
I shouldn't have made you do all that.
It's just making friends isn't something I'm good at.
Well, gee, I wonder why.
I think it's because the world is full of idiots.
My mom says it's my attitude.
Idiot.
Look, Rico, did you ever think that maybe if you treated me a little better, I'd be your friend? Well, I was hoping for a higher-class friend, but Rico.
Right.
You'll really be my friend? No catch? Or condition.
So, you want to go back to my house and pay my brother to dance like a monkey? Rico.
Fine.
-Want to go see a movie? -Sure.
Hey, you want me to wrap you up like a baby, so you can get in for free? Jackson, this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Nobody understands.
An artist has to grow.
Whee doggies! Howdy, I'm Robby Ray.
Let's kick it.
Yeah, we'll kick it, all right.
Anti-Hannah style.
Yeah, you're gonna see tomorrow, buddy.
You just I'm talking to a doll.
Yeah.
The new Hannah's going to sleep, and she ain't going to brush her teeth because I'm bad to the bone.
I'm bad to the bone.
I'm so excited, and I know you all are, too, so let's give a warm Sunshine welcome to the Sunshine Girls' Role Model of the Year, Miss Hannah Montana! Well, I used to be a nice girl Always doing what I'm told And I'm here to tell you, baby That it's getting kind of old So say goodbye to all the sparkles And all the pretty girly lace I'm gonna chew your little heart up And then I'll spit it in your face I don't trust nobody Parents, teachers or the schools Gonna do just what I want to Gonna break down all the rules Gonna break down all the rules now Gonna break down all the rules I'm gonna break down all the rules now Gonna stick it to those fools Stop! Stop.
Wait, wait, wait, you guys! It's just a song! Stop! Stop it.
It's just a song.
I didn't mean it! Stop! Put your parents down! Wait, wait, wait.
Remember the old Hannah? You're a true friend You're here till the end Sing with me.
Guys! Guys, seriously, stop! Someone is going to get hurt! Daddy, help me! I'm a little tied up right now.
Great song, though! Great song! Yo, Tarzana! Put me down! Not like that! What's going on? -You okay? -Yeah, it was just a bad dream.
What were you going to do, raccoon them to smithereens? I just grabbed what was on the nightstand.
You have an angry raccoon on your nightstand? Honey, Buster's also a light.
I just got him yesterday.
I don't know how people decorated before the Internet.
I don't know what's scarier, my dream or the fact that you paid for that thing.
Well, I'll tell you the truth, honey, if you want to talk about it, if you're still mad at me, Buster's a heck of a listener.
You were right.
I don't want to be a hard-edged Hannah.
That's not the kind of message I want to send to my fans.
But what about keeping your audience interested? There's got to be a way to keep them interested and still be me.
Sure, Isis can change who she is all the time, but I like who I am, and I'm not going to change just to hold on to an audience that hasn't even left me yet.
Well, as long as you're true to yourself, your fans will always be there.
I hope you're right.
Now, go ahead, tell me how wrong I was.
Bring it on.
I'd love to, but the truth is, I was the one that was wrong.
Raccoon-swinging daddy say what? Yeah, as an artist, you've got to have the freedom to explore.
I wasn't giving you that.
Thanks, Daddy.
How am I ever going to become an angry, misunderstood teenager with a daddy like you? I heard shouting! What's going on? Why does everyone have a light-up critter but me? No, Dave doesn't light up.
He's a pencil sharpener.
You just lift his tail and I don't need to see that.
I never grow tired of you.
Dahli! Hannah! Darling, what are you doing here? I just came by to cancel my new Hannah look.
I won't be needing the torn fishnets, the combat boots or the bullwhip.
On second thought, send me that bullwhip.
I could use that on my brother.
Yes, yes, of course.
Well, bye-bye.
I see.
Isis is here.
Little slow on the draw there, partner.
Dahliano, I love my new look! Awkward.
This is your next-next? Well, it seems to work for you.
Yo, Dahli, on second thought, give me that bullwhip now.
Yeah, that's right, honey, you'd better back off.