The Proud Family (2001) s02e27 Episode Script

(organ playing)
(crowd)
Aye, batter, batter, swing!
(cheering)
-I got it! I got it! I got it!
-Ow!
You’re out!
(cheering)
-(mumbling)
-Speak up, Stubby,
I can’t understand
a word you’re saying.
I said I can’t believe
we’re being beat
by a bunch of
nine-year-olds.
Why not?
We lost to a bunch of
six-year-olds last week.
What are you kids so down about?
About 36 runs.
No, not that. We’ve got an
incredible winning streak going.
Excuse me, Mr. Proud, what team
have you been coaching?
’Cause this team
hasn’t won a game yet.
Yes, but Proud Snax profit
margins are through the roof.
If you all keep up
the excellent performance,
each one of you will more
than pay for your uniforms.
Pay?!
I thought they’re
supposed to be free.
Rule number one, LaCienega:
nothing in life is free.
Remember that when
you’re selling your Proud Snax.
Okay, now, get out
there and show them
what the Proud Snax
team is all about.
Hmm.
Not out there!
In the stands.
(groaning)
-Do we have to?
-Mr. Proud
This is whack.
The Proud Family ♪
What? ♪
You and me will
always be tight ♪
Family, every single
day and night ♪
Even when you start
to acting like a fool ♪
You know I’m loving
every single thing you do ♪
I know that I can
always be myself ♪
Around you more
than anybody else ♪
And every day as I’m
heading off to school ♪
You know there’s no one
I love as much as you ♪
Family, a family ♪
Proud Family ♪
-They’ll make you scream ♪
-(doorbell rings)
They’ll make
you want to sing ♪
It’s a family thing,
a family ♪
Proud, Proud Family ♪
Proud Family ♪
They’ll push your buttons ♪
And make you want
to hug them ♪
Family, a family,
Proud, Proud Family. ♪
(Oscar)
Yeowch!
-(neighbors yelling)
-(Oscar) What are you complaining about?
I am teaching your kids something
much more valuable than baseball.
I’m teaching them work ethic.
No, you’re teaching them
how to be a loser, like you.
Okay, fine.
If you people don’t like
my coaching methods,
why don’t one of you
manage the team?
Are you nuts?
I’m with your kids all day at school.
You think I want to spend
my free time with them?
Felix?
Uh, I don’t hit balls.
I kick ’em.
Soccer is my game.
Fútbol!
Well, don’t be looking at me.
Mm-mm.
I got ten kids. I’m already
coaching a team and feeding it.
Well, what about you, Chang?
You been talking
a whole lot of smack.
Look, Proud, we all
have real jobs.
You’re the only loser
who has the spare time.
That’s right.
So until one of you clowns
want to step up
you better step off.
(Suga Mama)
I’ll coach the team.
Mama?
What do you know
about baseball?
Heh-heh. I know I can play
better than you can.
Yeah, right. Think quick!
-(gasps)
-Now,
You think quick. If you can.
Ha! You missed.
(laughing)
What in the?
(laughing)
I never miss with
my curve ball, son.
Congratulations,
Suga Mama.
You’re the new manager.
(whimpering)
Okay, team.
We got a lot of work to do
if we’re going to turn
this season around.
So first thing’s first.
Show me what
you working with.
Uh, that’s going to be
a problem, Suga Mama,
-’cause we can’t play.
-(Players) Yeah!
You can do anything if
you put your mind to it.
And that goes for
the rest of you, too.
Obviously, you haven’t
seen us play.
Yeah, I can’t catch.
I can’t hit.
(laughs)
I can’t pitch.
I can’t throw.
And I can’t catch, hit, pitch
or throw because
I can’t break a nail.
I! I! I!
There’s no "I" in "team."
Hey, Suga Mama.
We hear you looking
for some ballers.
That depends.
Can you ball?
Can we ball?
We learned how to hit
from our cousin, Barry Bonds.
You three would’ve been better off
learning how to post bonds. (laughs)
Oh, you gonna wish
you hadn’t said that.
(arguing)
Quiet!
Now the Gross sisters have
the kind of attitude
we need around here.
Put that together with teamwork,
and you can do anything.
Like back in the day when
my team, the Southern Belles,
beat the socks
off the legendary
Negro League All-Stars.
(laughing)
You beat the
Negro League All-Stars?
Sure did.
And I wasn’t much older
than you all are right now.
Boy, you should’ve
seen their faces.
I remember it like
it was yesterday.
The Negro League All-Stars
just knew they was going
to run right over us.
But they didn’t realize they
were playing against
our team, baby!
And when you’re a team,
you can never be counted out.
We went toe-to-toe,
bat-to-bat, glove-to-glove.
Nobody blinked.
It all came down to the
bottom of the ninth inning.
Game was all tied up,
bases loaded
and we were down
to our last out.
Their best pitcher ol’ Cool Papa Mack
was on the mound,
and I was our last hope.
Now the first two
pitches were strikes.
At least that’s what they tell me.
(gasps)
And ol’ Cool Papa Mack’s pitches
were so fast,
I never saw them.
Now I knew I couldn’t hit them,
so I did what I had to do
and took one for the team.
(Suga Mama grunts)
When I came to, I was on a float
at the ticker tape parade.
As they say, the rest is history.
So you see, boys and girls,
when you work as a team,
anything is possible.
Heck, we only halfway
through the season.
If we come together, we can
turn this boat around and
make the championship.
Now get on out there
and show me what you’re made of.
(cheering)
Time for a little practice.
Okay, Sticky!
I’m coming at ya!
I got it! I got it!
I got it! I got it!
All right, Penny.
Show me your fast ball.
(grunts)
Ooh, that’s pitiful.
Suga Mama’s going to show you
how to throw a knucklehead ball.
Why do you call it
a knucklehead ball?
(giggles)
Time for a little
batting practice.
Ah!
(laughs)
My bad.
Okay who’s next?
Go to first.
Ooh!
(yells)
Help. A little help here.
Can somebody help me up?
Medic!
Time out!
Okay, on the next pitch,
I want you to steal third
and go home.
Oh!
Now you playing my kind of game.
(laughing)
Whew, this is not going to be easy.
Okay, bring it in!
All right, team, we’ve had
a good week of practice.
(in Spanish)
And how about some applause
for our manager,
Crusty Baker.
(cackles)
Now, I want you to go out there
and give it your best.
But most important thing,
have fun!
Excuse me, if I may?
Oh! Would you like to give the kids
a few words of encouragement?
As a matter of fact, I would.
I have a poem for the kids.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Today you’ll be playing
in your Underoos!
Hey!
Watch the hair!
Oscar, give these kids
back their uniforms.
Trudy, look, I can’t afford
to have Proud Snax
associated with a bunch of losers.
Plus, I need them
for my new team.
(whistles)
Meet Mr. Chips.
He sold more Proud Snax
than all of you combined.
Come on, chimp. Let’s go to the stands
and watch the chumps.
(laughs)
Me and you, little man.
I’m sorry, kids.
Oh, that’s okay, Trudy.
Uniforms don’t make a team.
All we need to do is
believe in ourselves.
All right, from now on,
you’re known as the Believers.
So let’s get out there
and make the rest of them believers.
"Believe" on three.
One, two
Believe!
(cheering)
(Announcer)
What a beautiful day for baseball.
Which reminds me, this broadcast
is being brought to you
by Sam’s Deli
the best doggone deli in town.
How do I know?
I am Sam.
Sam, I am.
-(crack)
-Well, ladies and gentlemen,
we’ve got an old-fashioned,
down-home donnybrook
going on today.
It’s the bottom of the ninth,
bases loaded, two outs.
The count is at three and two.
Who would’ve thought
the visiting Believers
would be up by a run?
Penny Proud is getting the signal
from the catcher.
Now she nods.
She’s winding up
and she unleashes
a scorcher of a fast ball
for the win.
You’re out.
And they’ve done it.
Oscar, they did it!
They won!
I saw it, Trudy,
I saw it.
(cheering)
(laughing)
(Umpire)
Play ball, now.
Ow! You broke my nail!
(groans)
(Umpire)
You’re out.
(cheering)
Safe.
(crowd cheers)
(groans)
Strike one. Two.
You’re out.
(crowd cheers)
(laughing)
All right,
Omar, a hitter.
Let me see you rip the cover
off the ball.
(laughing)
(ball dropping)
(Announcer) On the way that thing
was moving, you’d think it had eyes.
(groans)
Yeah!
(Announcer) Yes, siree, Bob,
this has been an incredible
two months of baseball.
The Believers have made
believers out of everyone.
They’ve won eight
straight games,
and if they get out
of this inning,
they’ll be going
to the championship.
But that’s a mighty big "if."
Down by two runs, the Market
Mallers have two one, no outs,
and their best hitter,
Boom Boom Brown, is at the plate.
Penny has pitched a masterful
game up to this point.
Penny is in a windup.
The pitch Nathan
hits a screaming line drive.
Nubia dives fires to
LaCienega on second base,
who then fires it to first base.
(gasps)
-You’re out!
-I can’t believe it!
A triple play to end the game.
The Believers
have done it again.
The Believers are going
to the championship.
Well, get out the glass slipper,
’cause Cinderella has been found.
Way to go, team.
Yeah, guys, you’re going to play
for the championship.
Yeah, thanks to Suga Mama.
All right, everybody,
three cheers for Suga Mama.
-Hip-hip
-(All) Hooray!
Hooray!
Yay, Suga Mama!
You know, you are
a much better manager
than your loser son.
-He’s a loser.
-Forget you, Chang.
But I got to hand it
to you, Mama.
-What? That I’m the better manager?
-No, these uniforms.
I decided your team can wear them.
Oh, no thank you, son.
But I do have a poem for you.
Roses are red and violets are blue.
These uniforms stink
and so do you!
-What?
-(laughing)
Ow!
I just had these
uniforms cleaned.
Team, I’m really proud of you.
Because you believed
and worked hard,
we’re going to
the championship.
(all cheer)
(Man)
Well, well, well.
If it isn’t ol’ sassy Suga.
Cool Papa Mack.
What are you doing here?
What’s wrong, Suga,
you’re not happy to see me?
Why would I be happy to see
a rusty ol’ fool like you?
(laughing)
I see you haven’t changed a bit.
Well, you changed a little bit.
You old as heck.
(laughing)
You still holding a grudge
’cause me and the All-Stars
whipped you
and your little team?
What were you all called?
The Southern Dingbats,
I think it was.
That’s the Southern Belles.
Well, I hope your team
doesn’t strike out like you did.
For your information,
the only reason
I didn’t hit that ball
out of the park
was because I didn’t want
y’all to be embarrassed
getting beat by
a bunch of girls.
And I won’t be embarrassed when
my MackDaddies beat the Believers
and walk away with
the championship trophy.
See you ’round, Ding-dong.
That’s Southern Belle.
Whatever, Ding-a-ling.
Who was that, Suga Mama?
Oh, someone from the
Negro League All-Stars
I once played against.
Hold up. Did I hear him say
he beat the Southern Belles?
Yeah, what was that about?
Well, kids, Suga Mama may have
exaggerated the story just a little bit.
Exactly how little?
The whole story.
-(all gasp)
-It went more like this:
Now when I said we used
everything we had,
I was telling the truth.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough.
They were catching everything.
Even things we didn’t throw.
And ol’ Cool Papa Mack
threw one of the fastest pitches
I have ever seen.
Some threw heat, he threw ice.
His pitches were so cold,
he’d leave batters
frozen at the plate.
You’re out.
But through it all,
we hung in there now,
all the way to the last act.
Down by two runs with two outs,
it was my turn at bat, and I
was the team’s best hitter.
I just knew I was going to bring
in the winning run.
Then ol’ Cool Papa
did something I’ll never forget.
He called in his outfield and his infield.
He thought he was going
to embarrass me,
but I was determined to win
that game for my team.
Then Cool Papa Mack unleashed
three of the coldest pitches
he’d ever thrown.
And by the time he threw
the third strike,
me, the catcher, the umpire,
the guy standing behind me,
and half the people in the
stands were frozen solid.
Heck, I didn’t thaw out
for three weeks.
Well, after that, I walked away
from America’s pastime.
Never stepped foot on a diamond
until I started managing you young’ns.
And seeing Cool Papa Mack
after all these years,
just reminds me of that day
I froze up at home plate.
You know,
Papa Mack is right I am a loser.
And that’s why I’m resigning
as your manager.
Suga Mama, you
can’t leave us now.
(all agree)
And I believe you kids
are better off without me.
I couldn’t beat
Cool Papa Mack then,
and I can’t beat him now.
"I"? There’s no "I" in team,
remember?
But there is in win,
the one thing I can’t do.
Suga Mama!
(Oscar) Aha, now that Suga Mama
has abandoned you little deceivers,
you’ve come crawling back
to Oscar Proud.
We didn’t come crawling to you.
You the one who bogarted
your way up in here.
Quiet, Blondie.
If you kids stuck with me
as your manager,
you wouldn’t be here.
(Announcer) It’s intense
out here today, folks.
We should have a
humdinger of a game.
The Believers and their
unconventional manager,
Suga Mama, have come to be
a favorite throughout the league.
Speaking of which, I haven’t
seen Suga Mama here today.
Where is Suga Mama?
The game is about to start.
It would be really tough for the Believers
to win without her.
(speaking Spanish on TV)
Suga Mama, you know you’re
letting those kids down.
(babies cooing)
You should be at the game right now!
Papi, what’d you put in this tea?
Maybe I just need some fresh air.
-Come on, Puff.
-(barking)
(Puff, in a French accent)
You don’t need fresh air.
You need backbone.
(cup shatters)
Puff’s right, Suga Mama.
You can’t give up now.
Yeah. Penny and
the kids need you.
(speaking gibberish)
No she didn’t!
Those kids are right, Suga Mama.
Whoa!
They need you.
You inspire them.
Papi, you speaking English.
How’d you do?
(in Spanish) Quiet
I'm trying to watch my novella.
Not a horsefaced fella.
(laughing)
Save the sweet talk, Papi.
Grab the babies and come on.
My team has a
championship to win.
(organ playing "Charge")
(Penny) Come on, guys,
we’re only three runs behind.
If we remember
what Suga Mama taught us,
we can win this game.
Great motivational speech,
baby girl.
So whose turn is it to pitch?
Daddy, we’re at bat right now.
I’m not talking about the game.
I’m talking about the Snax.
(All)
Suga Mama!
Suga Mama, you came back!
That’s right, Penny.
I let my team down once,
and I couldn’t do it again.
Mama, what are you doing here?
Well, I’m here to get rid
of 120 pounds of dead weight.
You’re out!
(yelling)
(yells gibberish)
All right, look, kids,
I quit because I
stopped believing.
Can’t expect you to believe if I don’t.
But I learned a valuable lesson:
you can’t let your past
control your future.
Now it’s time to get
this show on the road.
Why aren’t you kids
in your uniform?
All right, that’s better.
Now, we didn’t come
this far to give up.
We’re only down by three runs.
If you kids just believe,
-(All) Yeah!
-this game can be ours.
Suga Mama’s right, y’all.
We ain’t going out like no busters.
Let’s win one for the woman
in the pink slippers.
(all agree and cheer)
All right, come on, team, on three.
(All)
One, two, three! Believers!
Thank you, Suga Mama.
Just a few minutes ago,
this game seemed like
a bust for the Believers.
But with Suga Mama
back managing,
this might be the spark
to turn this game around.
(clapping rhythmically)
-Safe.
-(crowd cheering)
Okay, Sticky,
we need a walk. Stay low.
-I am low.
-Lower.
Ball.
And he doesn’t swing
they are over his head.
All right, Omar,
we need a base run.
(goofy laugh)
Okay.
Ow.
Well, the bases are loaded,
but there are two outs now,
and they’re down by three runs.
This is the
Believers’ last chance.
All right, who’s the next batter?
Me! Me! I am!
No, you’re not, baby.
You sit this one out.
Gina, you’re up.
I’m going to tell you what to do.
(whispering)
Next up is Gina Gross
to pinch hit.
A pinch hitter?
She looks more like an "inch" hitter.
-(all laughing)
-Come on, Gina!
No, no, no. Put both
hands on the bat.
All right, bring them in, boys!
(Announcer)
I can’t believe it! Cool Papa Mack
is calling in his outfield
and his infield.
What a gutsy move.
All right, Gina,
just do what I told you to do.
(team cheers on Gina)
And Gina just sticks
her bat out, and the ball
flies off the bat
into shallow right field
-as all four Believers score.
-Safe.
That is amazing!
Gina Gross has hit an
inside-the-park grand slam.
The Believers have won the game
and the crowd goes wild.
We the best!
(Papa Mack) Well, Suga,
I guess congratulations are in order.
Your team played
a mighty fine game.
I didn’t mean that
ding-a-ling thing the other day.
I was just trying to get
inside your pretty little head
like I did 50 years ago.
But I guess it didn’t work.
(speaking Spanish)
It's your eyes that don't work.
I've seen prettier heads
with antlers.
(laughing)
Apology accepted.
So, why don’t you let
Cool Papa make it up to you
and take you out to dinner?
Sure, as long as I can
bring my Cool Papa Papi.
(speaking Spanish) Ugh. So this is what
they mean by winning ugly.
(laughing)