American Dragon: Jake Long (2005) s02e29 Episode Script

1
"Halloween dance"? Only
the teachers dress up.
"Fifties sock hop"!
More like
a stinky foot hop.
What you think, jakey?
[Crunch]
Were you saying
something?
Oh, I don't know.
I couldn't hear myself
sorry. But you got
to try this new
place--der fry hut.
These flaming crispiritos
are so spicy,
I have to blow fire
just to cool my mouth.
Ahh.
As student body
co-president,
the eyes of Fillmore
are on me
to come up with
an original theme
for the next
school dance.
I mean, we've done it all.
Spud: Not quite all.
Jake: Cool! Lollipops.
I could use some dessert
to cap off
my der fry hut goodness.
This is a diorama of a dance
honoring a seasonal event
that has been
overlooked far too long,
the first ever
daylight savings time
dance and fitness expo.
You are not about to
tell me that's the gym.
And why is
the cheerleader doll
kissing the potato
in your little
freak-fest?
Potato--spud.
Stacy.
Stacy.
That's what
all this is about--
Abusing your
co-presidential powers
for a love connection.
What good are
presidential powers
if you can't use
them to get girls?
Besides, you guys know
I haven't had much luck
convincing Stacy
that she likes me.
[Record scratching
on soundtrack]
Hi, Stacy.
Ew!
[Record scratching
on soundtrack]
Hi, Stacy.
Ew!
[Record scratching
on soundtrack]
Hi, Stacy.
Ew!
So why would Stacy say
yes to you this time?
Hence the brilliance of
a daylight savings time
dance and fitness expo--
Two things Stacy loves--
Daylight and fitness.
I've got it all planned
to the smallest detail.
Where are jakey
and I in your little
whacked-out world?
You're right over--
hey! Where are
the gingerbread cookies?
[Crunch crunch]
Oh. Sorry.
Was this you?
[Sighs]
He's cool, he's hot
like a frozen sun ♪
He's young and fast ♪
He's the chosen one ♪
People, we're not braggin' ♪
He's the American dragon ♪
He's gonna stop
his enemies ♪
Dragon teeth, dragon tail,
burning dragon fire ♪
A real livewire ♪
American dragon ♪
hey! ♪
American dragon ♪
He's the American dragon ♪
His skills
are getting faster ♪
With grandpa the master ♪
His destiny,
what's up, g? ♪
It's showtime, baby,
for the legacy ♪
I'm a dragon,
I'm not braggin' ♪
It's my destiny ♪
I'm the magical
protector from the NYC ♪
You heard? ♪
Hey! ♪
American dragon ♪
Yoww! ♪
Chocolate sauce
on tortilla chips?
Choco nachos,
another delicacy
from der fry hut.
What is up with
your chow choices lately?
Shouldn't the American
dragon stay in shape?
Yeah. If there's
something to
stay in shape for.
The dragon
business has been
slow for weeks.
For his annual
meditation
retreat to Tibet.
[High-energy
dance music playing]
I can take a break
from all this diet
and training.
Sort of
my tummer vacation.
Lighten up, trix.
I wouldn't be on
the chow-town expressway
unless I was positive
nothing was going down
in the magical world.
[Coughs]
Ohh. Why is it so hard
to make a mascara
that won't run
after you've been
stuck in stone for
a couple of months?
Oh, sphinx.
Oh. My sisters are so gonna
get their snakes in a bunch
if I don't break them free.
Ok, time to put my perfect
plan into place.
Wait. I've got to practice
asking her out one more time.
Jake: You wrote
a script?
Dude, just be
yourself.
Trixie, would you
go out with me if
I was just myself?
[British accent]
Good afternoon, all.
Yo.
Hey, Nigel.
Come on, Jake.
Final test run.
Ok, you be Stacy.
Stacy, I know how much you
enjoy daylight and fitness.
[Whistle blowing,
snare drum playing
on soundtrack]
So would you like to go
to the daylight savings time
and fitness expo with me?
[Indistinct chatter]
Oh, no.
I'm sorry, spud.
No, no, no. You
don't turn me down.
Oh, and do it in
a girly voice, like this.
[High-pitched tone]
"Spud, I would love
to go out with you."
Uh, I think there might
be a character missing
in your script.
In short, I would be
honored to share
the dawning
of daylight
savings time
with a date whose
brilliance rivals
the sun itself.
Ok.
[Kiss]
No!
Mm!
Sure you don't want
some licorice?
I'll untie a couple
of feet for you.
To take away the bitterness
I'm destined to taste
the rest of my life.
I feel for you, bro.
Root beer?
What was that?
This is
the before picture.
If I'm organizing a dance
at a fitness expo,
I need to show my fellow
fillmoreans
what diet and exercise
can do for them.
So as of right now,
I'm turning this
garbage disposal off.
Trix, stop tripping.
It's just a little
harmless snacking.
I was making you guys
friendship necklaces.
Spud: Look at them.
So perfect,
like one of those pictures
that comes in the frame
when you buy it.
Look, spud, you need
to ask yourself, is
Stacy really worth it?
Shh! I'm asking myself.
Ok. Got it.
Yup. Turns out
she is worth it.
What?!
No way!
And I know what you're
gonna say next:
Fight for her.
What?!
No way!
And you're right again.
I will prove to Stacy
that Nigel thrall is
no match for the romance
of Arthur p. Spudinski.
Ohh. Why can't
I learn
that rhetorical
questions
don't work with
this one?
Maybe it's because--
Or you.
[Sniffs]
Aw!
Aw!
Aw!
[Neighing]
My fair Stacy,
I come to whisk
thee away
on my mighty steed
to a storybook ball
in the gym.
Hey, kid,
you're supposed to
pet the animals,
not take them
for a joy ride.
Ok. Plan "b."
[Spud trills tongue]
Senorita, my dance
of passion for you.
By wizard's cloak,
become poison oak.
Blecch!
Aah!
Yup, spud, it looks
like poison oak.
Well, that explains
the itchies.
Look, spud, this time,
we're not asking you
to ask yourself
if Stacy's worth it,
I can't believe
my romantic skills didn't
send her into my arms,
and I can't believe I didn't
see Nigel's scratchy-cadabra
spell coming.
A spell.
That's it. That's
why she's into him.
He must have cast
some kind of
"like-us Nigel-us,
not-us spud-us."
Or you're just
jealous. Ridiculous.
I demand-us justice.
We'll fight magic
with magic.
Jake, help me out
here, bro. Come on.
[Ringtone]
Sorry, spud.
It's fu. I'm out.
And you better not stop
at der fry hut on the way.
Mm!
Our grunion
informant reports
that one of
the gorgon sisters
has escaped from
her stone prison.
Hey, detective,
want a fish taco
or is that just weird?
Kid, give your
choppers a break
so you can hear
detective derceto.
She's trying to warn
us about fury.
Fury's out? I'd better
back off the junk.
Uh-uh. When you hit
600 years old, like
I have, kid,
you can't eat
like you did
in your 200s.
Fortunately, we found
her broken bracelet
at the bottom
of the harbor.
Without it, she'll
be unable to free
her sisters--
Medusa and euryale.
Unfortunately, fury can
regain full powers
if she finds another
phoenician snake bracelet,
like this little baby
we've been keeping
safe in the vault.
So you're saying
we've got it under
control, right?
I can get back to
my foodapalooza.
Fury will go to any lengths
to get another bracelet.
Phoenician
snake bracelet, huh?
Let me check
with my suppliers.
Ah, here's one.
Oh, it's at Lao shi's
on canal street.
He'll never give it up.
Just a minute, please.
The American dragon's
grandfather?
Yeah. Look,
it's been a slow week.
Why don't you pick
out a couple of
yeti bone bracelets
from our
clearance table?
Uh, hi. I'm looking
for some kind of
love spell undoer,
I'm sorry. Are you
a warlock or a wizard
or--can I see some I.D.?
Oh, uh, I'm not
magically inclined,
but my best friend is.
The American dragon.
I think that's all
the I.D. I need.
Whoa! Ohh.
I also have a very
identifiable birthmark
between my--
I couldn't help overhearing.
You need a spell removed.
Uh, aren't you fury?
Please don't hurt me!
Oh, gosh. No, no, no.
You're thinking
of the old fury.
I've changed. I mean,
when you're stuck in
stone like I was,
you have time to realize
the error of your ways.
Huh. Ok. Um,
good luck
with that. Adios!
What?!
Ohh. You don't
trust me. It's ok.
Nobody does. That's
why I'm out trying
to prove to
the world one good
deed at a time
that this gorgon
has gor-gone good.
What's your problem?
Maybe I can help.
Well, um, there's this guy.
He put a spell
on a cheerleader
I was going to ask
to the daylight savings
time dance and fitness expo.
He just slithered in and--
Ok, ok! I get it.
So how about I just make
her like you?
Like me or--
Like like you.
Ok, so what do you need
for the magic?
I have a collection
that's cross-indexed by
date and shampoo smell.
I'm having a smidge
of a power fizzle-out
right now.
What I could really use
is a special bracelet
to restore my power.
Really? I don't know
where to get
something like that.
I'll tell you where.
I'll tell you what
it looks like.
Ok. Can I tell
my friends?
No! It's
a secret. Ugh.
This would be easier
with a monkey.
Oh. Caramel corn, huh?
It looks So Tasty.
[Loud burp]
It was.
But there sure
are a lot of
unpopped kernels.
Yeah. What a waste.
Hold on.
I'm waiting.
There. I said it.
Race you to the bottom!
Reach for it again
and I'll take your hand off
with a rice cake.
Come to fu dog,
my caramel love.
[Clang]
This is how you're
protecting the bracelet?
Why don't we just put
it in the front window?
It's the perfect
hiding place.
Fury is so into
herself,
she'd never touch
caramel corn.
Hey, guys, I just happened
to be passing by,
and I was thinking, wow!
Gramps sure has
a ton of cool magical gear
around the shop.
You got your crystals,
potions, gadgets. Hmm.
What else?
What am I missing?
Uh, keep an eye on him.
We got enough broken
stuff around here.
I'm gonna find a place
to stash this.
I love--i mean like
you, spud.
Like like you.
You're looking for
a place to keep
your bracelet?
Well, how about my house?
That has to be
the most
lame-brained,
idiotic--
brilliant idea I've
ever heard from you,
spudinski.
It is?
For the great powers
of the ancient
phoenicians,
you don't exactly
start with spud.
You take care
of that,
and I'll take
care of this.
Ok, spud, let's get this
over to your house.
[Chuckles nervously]
I can handle it.
A junk-food free menu
he can stick to between
now and the fitness expo,
where his "after" body
will be an inspiration
to the student body.
Ah, yes! Yes! Yes!
I can feel the power
coursing
through my snakes.
[Fury laughing sinisterly]
We're laughing because
I'm gonna take Stacy
away from Nigel, right?
Ha ha ha!
Cool!
Hey, spud, you haven't
seen Trixie, have you?
Good, because I got a slice
of apple pie in here
that kept me awake
all through history.
"Here's your apple
minus the pie."
Check it out, bro.
This will
cheer you up.
You're actually
breaking up with me?
What about
the dance?
People's tongues
will wag on
about us.
Say again?
It means
they'll gossip.
Ha ha. I don't really
care what it means.
I just like hearing
the way you talk.
So, bye, I guess.
That doesn't make
me feel better.
Yeah. But it makes
me feel great.
"Meet me in
the janitor's
closet at noon."
[Record needle scratches
on soundtrack]
Uh, hi. Sorry I'm late.
You didn't say which
janitor's closet. Heh.
And I was, like,
thinking about
all that stuff
you were, like, doing
for me yesterday.
And I think
I kind of
like like you,
like, like like you.
Ack! Sorry. Instinct.
My body is trying
to, like, reject you.
Anyway, we should, like,
hang sometime.
Really? Ok.
Well, how about now?
Yeah. Uh,
that's the thing.
But only if nobody
actually, like,
sees us together.
Totally. Why?
Well, we both have
reputations,
and I really want
to keep mine.
Yeah. Yours is good.
So, um, I got
to get to class,
and, um, I know
this is awkward, but
Could you
wait 20 minutes
before you leave?
Uh-huh, yeah. I
can do that.
[Indigestion noise]
Thank you, fury.
Thank you.
Well-done, my burly minions.
You reunited me
with my sisters.
Now before I release you
from my mind control,
bring back 3 large mocha lattes.
And don't forget the biscotti.
I can't believe fury
took so long.
Yeah. She knows we hate
waiting for her.
I'm right here, you
ungrateful little--
We can't fight if we're going
to take over the world.
Thank you. Now,
before we start
our life of
world domination,
first things first.
We destroy
the American dragon.
Ha ha ha!
[Thunder]
What a drama queen.
I can't believe spud's
not here to help.
Cut him a break, trix.
Not getting his chance
with Stacy
he's probably not
even going to show up.
Well, that just means
more work for you.
Now, dragon up
and fly these
streamers over there.
Sure.
Dragon up!
[Groaning]
You've been
crunch creepin',
haven't you?
Uh, I was just holding
that for fu.
Danger isn't
gonna wait for you
to get back into shape.
And by danger, I mean fury.
And besides, she's
powerless without
that bracelet,
which is
safely stashed
in spud's crib.
[Fury cackling]
Whoa!
Uh!
Or not.
Oh, look, girls,
the American dragon.
Ha ha. Hello, tubby. Have
you put on a few pounds?
And I'm gonna give
the three of you
beat-downs to prove it.
[Breathing heavily]
You're
In for it Now. Aah!
Aah! Oof!
[Crash]
Ooh!
Uh-oh.
Uh! He's so heavy.
I thought he put
on weight.
Don't listen to me.
I told you guys we should
have turned him into stone
closer to the harbor.
Oh, jakey.
Fury and her sisters
just took Jake.
Fury? No,
it can't be.
Who lied?
Fury tricked me.
She said she wanted
to turn good
and if I helped her,
she'd help me.
Stacy: Hey! Watch
where you're
standing, creep.
I baked you cookies.
They're behind
the dumpster.
You made a deal with fury
to get with that?
I'm sorry.
But I think I know
who could save Jake.
You thought I had
Stacy under a spell.
Why would I need to do that
when I have my British charm
so you really
didn't do something
like-us Nigel-us on her?
No worries, chap.
She broke up
with me anyway.
Uh, about that. I kind of
had some mind control help,
but if you help me save
Jake, you'll be back
with Stacy lickity-split.
[Sisters groaning]
[Trixie and spud coughing]
I think your wand
is due for a smog check.
Looks like the snake wenches
are about to drop the dragon
in the drink.
Excuse me. What do
you think you're doing?
Uh, I don't really know.
Ok, something weird
is going on here.
Hurry, ladies. We
have evil to spread.
And then shoe shopping.
Definitely shoe shopping.
Spud, keep the gorgons
occupied.
No problemo.
Somebody owes me
an explanation-o.
Fury, you lied to me!
You're not good.
The heart-broken sap
I used to get
another bracelet.
Let me turn him
to stone.
Aah!
Aah!
Jake!
Whoa!
No!
Another one?
This one's mine.
You might want
to save your energy
for the beat-down
the American dragon's
about to give you.
Yeah! Uh, can you
put me down first?
Aah!
Let's start off with
a shrimp cocktail.
Hyah!
Disgusting!
Ew!
That boy has got to get
himself back in shape.
Enough of this.
Let's finish him.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
No energy. Can't.
Huh? Where did
this come from?
You're welcome,
long.
What? Hey!
Thanks for the mask, Nigel.
No worries.
But what about fury?
She still has
that bracelet.
Let her go. I'll
deal with her later,
after I lighten
my load a little.
Where did she get
that bracelet anyway?
It couldn't have been
the one from
grandpa's shop,
because spud hid
that one at his house.
Right, spud?
I'm sorry, sorry, sorry
Sorry, sorry.
You can stop
apologizing, spud.
I want you guys to know
that I promise to never,
ever let jealousy get
the better of me again.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
while we're spreading
the "I'm sorries"
all around here,
don't you have something
you need to say to me?
Jake: Yeah. I've got
to stay in shape.
Good-bye, junk food,
and welcome home,
healthy eating.
And exercising?
Good, because
dancing is
great exercise.
Look, I know
you snapped out
of liking me,
so you don't have
to dump me.
Just go ahead and be
with Nigel.
Ok. I know who I like,
potato boy,
and I told you,
it's, like, you.
You're just gonna have
to get used to him, tummy.
You don't have
to act like
that anymore,
because
you're not being
mind contr--wait.
You really like me?
Fury lied
about this, too?
Awesome ♪
I heard you planned
this dance for me.
Yeah. Stupid, huh?
Well, are we gonna
dance or not?
Heck yeah, we are!
Hello! I can't
be seen with you.
Oh. Right.
[Song playing]
Man, who cares if
it didn't work
out with Stacy?
Trixie: Yeah. She
doesn't deserve you.
Shakin' her no-rhythm Booty
up on top of a pyramid.
Yo, spud, better
dry your eyes
and come out.
Rotwood's coming.
Jake, as rotwood:
Mark my bald spot!
Come out of here
or you will be
suspended.
Schnaken-hosen.
Ok, that was
still me.
But, seriously,
the mops are
in there,
and we just
want to clean up
and go home.
Spudinski!
Spud, come on, man!
Spud!