Big City Greens (2018) s02e29 Episode Script

[theme music plays]
One, two, one, two,
Three, four ♪
La, la, la, la, la, la ♪
La, la, la, la, la, la ♪
[chicken clucks]
Eh? Ehhhh?
Wow, so this was
your Saturday.
And Friday.
No! Get that
hideous monstrosity
out of my sight!
But Ma, I spent
all weekend on this!
Not your dumb mailbox.
I'm talking about that!
A van? What's wrong with it?
Just look at it!
Rusted tires, gawdy artwork,
political statements
And worst of all,
it's been parked
in front of
my house for weeks!
I hate you van
I hate you!!
Ma, it's just a van.
It's not hurting you
or anyone else,
so please don't do
anything reckless
[grumbles]
Now! If anyone needs me,
I'll be inside waiting
for the mailman.
Ah, don't listen to him, Gramma.
You're right, this van
is hoggin' our turf!
What if I wanted to
skateboard right here?
Cricket, you've never
once expressed
a desire to skateboard.
WelI'd still like
the option .
The nerve of this creep.
Gaudy van,
inconsiderate actions
I know exactly his type.
-Yeah. Me, as well
-[fantasy tune plays]
[van vrooms]
[wicked laugh]
-Whoa!
-[townsfolk] Whoa!
Ahh!
[tires screech]
Ooh! Look at me.
I'm an inconsiderate slob!
And I'm gonna leave my van here
till the end of time!
[Cricket and Grammy]
What a jerk!
Well, it seems like you two
have a handle on this.
So if you'll excuse me,
I need to go feed my koi fish.
Huh? Your fish?
How does she know
it's shy?
Ah, forget it boy.
We got bigger problems.
Time to call for backup!
Hey, Officer Keys!
Yes?
How can I help you, ma'am?
This ugly van has
been here for days!
I want you to tow it
out of here!
Oh, I see. Hmm
This van has definitely
been here a while.
Unfortunately, there's nothing
I can do to help ya.
What? Why not?
Well, nobody's hurt,
nothing's missing,
and this van is
parked legally.
-Everything's above board!
-That's too bad.
Sure would be a shame
if some concerned citizens
took matters into
their own hands.
That would be a real shame,
because then those hands
would be in handcuffs.
Welp, see ya!
[grunts]
Gosh dang, is he flexible.
Don't hate it though.
So what do we
do now, Gramma?
Well there ain't no law
against trying to find
the owner of
this abomination.
But we'll have to be
real subtle.
Is this your van? Hey!
Don't walk away from me. I--
Did you park here?
Look me in the eyes!
-Look at me!
-Look him in the eye!
She seems like a liar.
I'm following her.
Mmmf! It's so good!
Is that your
van over there?!
Mrs. Green, what the heck?!
I'm in my car right now!
Why would I have two cars?
Why would you get
an art degree?
Who knows why you
do stupid stuff? Ahh!
Ugh, this is
getting us nowhere!
And that van's still here.
Mocking us
This is my street, baby!
Neigh!
[screaming and grunting]
I hate this
stupid van!
With its stupid doors!
Stupid tire cover!
Stupid, uh, whatever
these things are! [grunts]
-We did it!
-Yay!
We got rid of the van!
[man] Uh, excuse me, are you
talking about a van?
Hi, uh, I'm Rick.
And I parked
my van around here.
It's rusty, it has a tire cover,
and the brakes are busted
so I put chocks on them.
Have you seen it?
No.
Ugh, great. Now what
am I gonna do?
Well, if it isn't
Mr. Jerk himself!
He disgusts me.
Ah, guess I better
call the cops.
No cops!
Because we'll help you
find your van!
No, we won't!
Look, I don't wanna
help this guy either,
but if he calls the cops,
Officer Keys will rain
his justice down on us!
This spaghetti
is too cold.
Taze time!
Che bella!
Fine we'll help you find
your stupid- Oh!
Stupidly awesome
van, Rick.
But why? It's not like
it's your fault it's gone.
Ha ha! You are
correct, sir!
It's just what considerate
folks like us do.
Unlike you.
-Hmm?
-Nothing!
Hot-cha-cha-cha
Anyone see a van?
My super cool van?
I can't believe we got
roped into helping this jerk
Once we're done,
we'll be in the clear
Oh, look!
Hmm Something's telling me
the van went this way!
[distant screaming]
[shuddering]
How did this happen?!
I could be wrong though.
Come on, let's get this
over with.
-Ooh, one second.
-Sure thing! Take your time!
Can you believe this guy?
We're trying to help him
find his van,
and he's holding us up
so he can "tie his shoes."
Ugh! Riiick!
Riiiick!
-Riiiiick!
-Riiiiick!
-Oh, hey guys!
-Ahh!
Oh, my gosh, Rick!
Don't sneak up
on us like that!
Oh, sorry! I just got you guys
a li'l somethin'.
Oh, uh Thanks.
It's the least
I could do.
Anyways, we should
probably get a move on!
Huh. That was
nice of him.
-Yeah
-Ahh
Hey, put that down!
My doggie!
Don't let his
hot dogs fool you!
He's still a
van-loitering jerk!
-Ahh
-Focus up, boy!
Now, let's see
where this trail leads.
-[chomps]
-[Grammy] Cricket!
[grunts]
Are you hungry?
Oh, is that so?
Well, I brought bread!
Here you go!
Mmm. It's so good right?
Marcus, don't talk
with your mouth full.
That's weird,
the tracks end here.
It's almost as if the van
launched off this hill,
went airborne, and--
Oh, that's exactly
what happened.
Aw jeez, how am I gonna
get it down from there?
Well, at least
we found it.
Thanks for your help. I guess
the cops can take it from here.
Get in the hole!
Get in the hole!
Listen, ball, there're worse
places to be than in that hole.
Birdie!
[chuckles]
No need for police!
We'll get your van down.
[screaming and grunting]
What's this tree made out of?
Other swords?!
How's it going
over there, boy?
[strains] I'm a child.
This is a van.
What did you expect?
[groans] Nothing's working!
Huh? What are you doing?
Helping! I couldn't just let
you two do this on your own!
-Hmm
-Hey, Gramma,
you think maybe we were
wrong about Rick?
He doesn't seem so bad.
Don't let him fool you!
If he's being nice,
it's just to hide
his evil heart!
[all scream]
[grunt]
Aw, jeez, there it goes!
We gotta act fast! There!
This is fun, but I prefer
mini golf! Oof!
Sorry, but we're
borrowing this!
Hey!
[cars honk]
Wow!
Cricket, grab the van!
[strains]
Almost got it
Huh?
Gramma, watch out!
[scream]
[all sigh]
It's gonna fly!
Pfft. Lame.
-Oh, dear.
-[Rick] Oh, man!
-Oh, hi, guys!
-Hi, Tilly!
Well, I guess we could
still drag it out?
Oh, could we, Rick?
Well, joy!
[chomps]
[narrator speaks in Japanese]
-[gasp]
-[gulps]
[long burp]
[all] Ew! Aw, gross!
What?
Sorry, y'all. Marcus is
one hungry boy.
Welp, I guess that's that!
This is something neither we,
nor the police can fix.
I think I'll go home,
sit on my porch,
-and enjoy my newly van-free view!
-[chuckles]
[sobbing]
Ooh! He is very sad.
Yep, kinda killin'
the vibe.
Okay! So long, Rick!
Sorry again about your van,
but you know what they say:
It be like that sometimes
-[chuckles]
-Well, buh-bye!
Wait! Before you go, I
just wanna thank you.
A lot of folks would be
mad or frustrated
with a van parked in front
of their place for so long.
But even still, you guys helped
me out during a tough time.
-We did?
-Absolutely!
Y'see, my wife's been pregnant,
and the baby started
to come early,
and there were no parking spots
near the hospital.
So I parked my van in
the closest place I could find.
Gramma, I'm feelin'
kinda bad for Rick.
What should we do?
We go home and enjoy the view!
Oh, well. No point in
moping around.
I gotta be resourceful!
I'm a father now!
Gramma, we gotta
come clean
Quiet boy, you're makin' me
think too much!
[Claire] Honey, is that you?
[gasps] Family!
I missed you!
Were you able to
get the van?
No. And that's okay.
Because from now on,
I'll be the van!
Oh, honey!
[Rick] Seatbelts, everyone!
Come on, Gramma!
This is brutal
Dang it, boy
You're right!
[both] We're so sorry!
It's our fault
your van's gone!
I kicked away the chocks,
and it flew down the hill!
[Cricket and Gramma cry]
Whoa, hold on, what are you trying to say?
We hated you 'cause
we thought you were a jerk!
But it turns out,
we're the jerks!
We shoulda realized that everyone's got
their own struggles
and deserves to be
cut some slack!
And that's why we're gonna
make this right!
-Yeah!
-Wha-- How? It's impossible!
Nothing's impossible
for a Green!
-[scream]
-Oh, my gosh!
This is bad! Marcus will consume
anything that enters his domain!
[gurgling]
[grunting]
[van screeches]
[groans]
[both] Ta-daa!
My van!
I can't believe you would
do this for us!
Well, you deserve it!
Despite what we
first thought,
you turned out to be
a pretty good guy, Rick.
Yeah, feel free to park
in front of our place
whenever you like.
Aw, I really appreciate it.
Hey, I guess it's true
what they say:
Little Tokyo, Big Fish!
[all laugh]
You're going on a diet.
I'm so excited!
My kids! Playing
their first little league game!
Wow, Mom, I never knew
you were such a baseball nut!
Oh, big time!
You know, your ol' mom
used to be quite
the little leaguer herself
back in the day.
There is no greater joy
on this earth
than the crack of a bat
and the thrill of a win!
-Well, except for children.
-Yay!
What's most important
is that you two have fun!
But also, winning.
Try to get a win in there.
Tweet! Tweet!
I forgot my whistle!
Everyone come over!
-Bye, Mom!
-Good luck, kids!
Baseball!
All right team, listen up!
When you woke up this morning,
you were individuals.
But today, on this field,
you're all Big City Sue-Zers!
Uh, what's a Sue-zer?
Huh? Sue's Bruisers?
Was that not clear?
[all] No. Not at all.
Well, the print shop
said no refunds, so
"Sue-Zers" on three!
-One, two, three!
-[all] Sue-zers!
Booo! Booo!
Ma, the game
hasn't started yet.
Oh, hey, Nancy.
We saved you a seat!
Thank ya much!
The Remingtons!
Whoa, Russell,
why the long face?
Oh, he's just mad because
baseball isn't football.
The ball's too small!
It doesn't make sense!
Well, today's about baseball,
and nothing's gettin' in the way
of my kids winning--
[honks and screeches]
-Huh?
-Oh, no!
It can't be!
Hup, hup, hup, hup!
[Sue] It's the elites!
[all gasp]
I thought they were
just a myth!
No! They're real!
And they've never lost a game!
[Community Dan]
Well, well, well!
If it isn't my old nemesis,
Community Sue!
Community Dan,
it's horrible to see you.
I don't know, Remy.
They don't seem too bad.
Hey, best of luck
out there, Sue
with your Big City Losers!
Ha ha!
Hey, it's Sue-zers! Not lo--
Oh, no. I practically
gift-wrapped it for him!
What was I thinking?!
-[cries]
-Yoof!
Let's play ball!
[cheering]
Whoo! Go Sue-zers!
You got this, kids!
Mom's right! The Elites may
have an intimidating name,
expensive equipment,
and proper training.
But that's no match
for our team spirit!
So, whaddya say we
play some ball?
Yeah, yeah!
The pitcher's my brother.
[grunts]
-[crack]
-Ah!
I got it, I got it,
I got it!
I didn't got it.
[Skyler] Eat that, losers!
[laughs]
And that's a home run
for the Elites!
- [crowd groans]
- Ooh, they're good.
Green! Baseball talk!
[Sue] Use your special pitch!
-[Cricket] Understood.
- [horks]
Aw, yeah. Show 'em
how it's done!
[grunts]
-[bat cracks]
-[yelps]
I got it!
[sreams]
Oh, jeez!
You okay, kid?
Thankfully it
missed my fingers--
Psych! I don't actually care!
Nice taunt out there, Chelsea!
Way to lure 'em into
a false sense of security!
They're good
and they're mean?!
Hey, Sue! Tell this guy
to take it down a notch!
Taking it down a notch
goes against
everything I stand for,
but okay!
Hey, Dan!
Let's try to be
good sports, huh?!
Oh, my! Have we been
hurting your feelings?
Oh, well, gee, I'm so sorry.
Psych! Kids!
Circle of Shame!
-[kids chanting] Loser! Loser!
-No! It's Sue-Zer! It's Sue-Zer!
Oh, dear.
The Sue-zers can
turn it around, right?
Wow. If I weren't
an impartial umpire,
I'd say this is embarrassing!
Don't worry, guys.
There's only nine more
innings of this.
I'm just gonna
stop recording.
This game has barely begun
and it's a travesty!
Ugh, I've had enough!
-Nance?
-What are you doing?
Taking things
into my own hands.
All right y'all, let's just
try and get mercy-ruled.
Hey, friend,
lemme give it a try!
Mom?!
-What are you doing?
-"Mom"? Who's "Mom"?
I'm the new kid on the team!
-[groans]
-This just got real interesting.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Time out!
This isn't allowed!
You're like fifty- five!
-At least!
-No way, Mister!
I'm eleven years old!
I wanna see some ID!
I don't have ID.
I'm eleven!
That checks out!
You're in!
What?! Aw! Fine!
It doesn't matter
how old you are!
We''re still gonna wipe
the floor with you!
Okay, Sue-zers, huddle up!
Oh, Mama! Have you come
to take us home?
Yup! To home plate!
-Huhwuh?
-I'm gonna help y'all win this game!
-But isn't that cheating?
-[gasps]
Aren't you
Cricket's girlfriend??
-Mom!
-Right, right!
It's not cheating,
it's justice!
Those jerks are too mean
and don't deserve to feel
the joy of a win.
-You do!
-[kids] Yeah!
Wait, what about
Community Sue?
Those kids took
everything from me.
Do what you must.
Old Green, you're in.
Benny, you're out.
This is buwwhonky!
I'm the backbone of this team!
I poured my blood, sweat
and tears into this sport!
Ump! We're ready to play!
Time in! Let's play ball!
Let's see what
you got, kid.
Hope I still got it.
[grunts]
[yells]
Stee-rike!
-[all] Wow! Whoa!
-What?!
Oh, yeah. Still got it.
-[grunts]
-Whoa!
-Huh?
-[grunts]
Ah, whoop!
[cheering]
-[groans]
-[grunts]
Whoa!
-[cheers]
-Make way! Mama's getting her steps in!
In a wild turn of events,
the Sue-zers and Elites
are officially tied!
Ooh, you better kiss that
ball goodbye, Skyler!
I'll make you
eat those words!
Hi Yah!
I should have said goodbye.
Hey-oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
[all[ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Oh, boy, Nancy's gone
beast-mode.
I can finally respect her.
Yeah, yeah, yeah! Oh, hey!
Did you drop something?
What? I didn't drop anything.
These hands are
incapable of dropping-
[gasps]
That's my thing!
Sue-zers! Shame circle!
-[kids chant] Loser! Loser!
-This one's also my thing!
How's that for a taste
of your own medicine?
After a rough start, the
Sue-zers have taken a huge lead,
thanks to Nancy "definitely
an eleven-year- old" Green!
Now, let's see if the Elites
can bring it back!
You guys are making me look
like a fool out there!
Sorry Coach,
that Nancy kid's
just too good!
Ha! Just a few more outs
and the game's over!
[Kiki]
Heck yeah, Nancy! Let's go!
Time to take out the trash!
-Huh?
-Yeah, flush those turds!
Devour their hearts!
Trample their souls!
Whoa! Hey now!
Let's take it easy.
Oh, yeah! We gonna win!
You gonna lose!
Get him!
No one's coming
to your birthday party.
Aw, that's not true!
How do you know?
-They told me.
-[cries]
Huh, the Sue-zers are
getting really into the game.
Ugh, whatever.
We're taking this win.
Man, this team is mean.
I wanna go home.
I never wanna play
organized sports again!
Oh, this is my fault!
By teaching my team
how to be good at sports,
I also taught them how to be
bad at sports manship!
I gotta fix this!
Sue-zers! Listen up!
[Nancy]
This has to stop right now.
[Gabriella] What? But we're crushing them!
Why would we stop?
[Cricket] Yeah! I thought
you said this was justice!
[Nancy] It was!
But we took it too far!
Just look at yourselves.
We've become the monsters
we sought to destroy!
I wanted to teach the other
team a lesson,
but I never thought about
the lesson it'd teach you.
We gotta make this right!
[Sue] Spoken like a good sport!
[Benny] Does this mean
you're gonna sit out
and let me play?
[all] No!
Come on!
[Nancy] The only way to settle
this is by throwing the game!
And we gotta do it
without them knowing.
Winning by cheating
isn't winning.
Now, who's ready to lose?
[Cricket and Gabriella]
We are!
[all] Yeah!
What's happening?
Hm. This would never
happen in football.
All right, team!
Let's lose this thing!
Batter up!
[whimpers] End this, please.
Heh. Today's your lucky day!
Huh?
What are you waiting for?
Run! Run! Run!
Quick! Someone
throw me the ball!
Oh, well. Good luck!
I got it! I got it!
Oh, ow! [grunts]
-Oh, I have tripped. Ah.
-[runner panting]
Whoa! He's going for it!
And he's driving the other
runners home, too!
-Keep going!
-You can do it!
I mean, "Oh, no!"
I'll cover third!
Cricket, get the ball!
On it! Here I come!
Whoa! Oof!
Attaboy, Cricket!
Way to sell it!
Safe!
-[kids cheer]
--All right!
Ha ha! Now we're talkin'!
I got it, I got it!
Whoops! How embarrassing!
[grunts]
Safe!
[umpire]
It's the bottom of the ninth,
and the score is all tied up!
Next run wins
so let's play ball!
[cheering]
All right, Nancy,
you heard the ump.
Time to go all out.
[hard grunt]
[gasp]
It's gonna make it! It's gonna make it!
Huh? Benny?!
My talents have been ignored
for too long!
I'm ending this charade!
Justice!
[screams]
Ha ha ha ha ha!
What?!
-[screaming]
-[both grunt]
Home run! Elites win!
[cheering]
And the Sue-zers lose!
[cheering]
The perfect name.
Sorry that we had to lose.
It's okay, Mama, I'd rather be
a loser than a cheater.
Assuming that winning
is off the table!
Hey, losers!
Nice choke job!
[laughs] Come on, kids!
We're gettin' wings!
Hey, Sue-Zers! Good game!
Well, gang, we may have
lost the game,
but I have a feeling this is
gonna be a good season.
[all] Yeah!
I got sweat in my eyes ♪
Lost a bet and got bit
By a hundred flies ♪
I fell out a big old tree ♪
Hit every branch and
Scraped up both my knees ♪
I got chased by dogs
Licked by a frog ♪
Got a rash on my legs
Dropped a dozen eggs ♪
I got splinters
In seven of ten ♪
And tomorrow
I'll do it all again ♪