Phineas and Ferb s02e29 Episode Script

Okay, the camera's all ready! We're almost finished with our exact replica of the Temple of Angkor Wat, constructed entirely out of playing cards.
Hey, where's Candace? I bet she'd love to see this.
"Does He Think You're Pretty Enough? Ten Ways You Could Be.
.
Better.
" Wow.
Ten ways? Thank you Quazmo Magazine.
Jeremy! Hey, Candace.
Um, so listen.
I'm really sorry, but something's come up and I won't be able to make it to our date tonight.
I hope you understand.
Hello? Candace, are you there? Hello? Helloo? Well, I guess we got cut off.
He just broke our date and hung up on me.
Oh, it's probably not as bad as I think.
Let's see what Quazmo has to say about it.
Last card.
You do the honors, Ferb.
What? Um Hey, Candace.
Everything okay? Beat it, dweebs! I'm having a crisis! Sounds like Candace is in a serious funk.
I wonder what we can do to snap her out of it? Ooh, I know! It's all right here in Tween Bleep magazine.
"Three Sure-Fire Ways to Lift Your Friend Out of a Serious Funk.
Number one: Give her a complete make-over.
A completely different look will often do the trick.
" A completely different look? Come on, Ferb.
We need somebody who's good with make-up and fancy hair-dos.
Um Okay.
I'll just stay here with my "Expert Makeover" patches and– Hey, where's Perry? Agent P.
Uh Well Due to your reprehensible behavior over the past few days, which I can still barely believe is even possible from an agent of your caliber, who has learned nothing but the best in his field, I– Uh– Uh.
Actually, I don't know what's particularly bad about this clip here, but– We have no choice, but– Why? Why'd you do it? Not yet, Carl.
Wait till I'm done here.
You are officially discharged.
Okay, now, Carl.
Why? Why'd you do it? Cuff him, boys.
Red alert! Red alert! Renegade agent on the run! Hello? Stacy, Jeremy has, like, totally lost interest in me! What makes you think so? Quazmo magazine! I'll be right there.
Well, that was almost impossibly fast.
Woah, woah, wait! You're not Stacy! Hey, hey, hey! What is going on? Huh? Uh, wait a minute.
Now, don't try anything funny! So, are you ready for some cheering up? No biggie, Shlocko, you gave it your best shot.
In hindsight, a clown may not have been the best choice to do a makeover.
Ya think? So, what else does the magazine say? "Step number two: Make her laugh.
Laughter is the best medicine.
" Sure! Make her laugh.
Candace has a great sense of humor.
Remember that time she got her face caught in the sink? Okay, how 'bout now we get you some ice cream? I don't know, Stacy.
Good afternoon, ladies.
Or, we can do this.
We have a table reserved for you close to the stage, Miss Flynn.
Oh.
This is so cool.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, everybody! We havin' fun yet? First up, our favorite math-formula funny man, Baljeet! Thank you.
Thanking you much.
So, little Jeet, I hear you went to New Delhi.
And did you try the chicken club? Wow.
That's really what you're going with? You know, just do the water drinking bit.
Okay.
The Pythagorean theorem The square of the hypotenuse of a right triang– Let's hear it for the dummy! And that puppet wasn't bad either.
Next up, my favorite vegetable-based comic, Broccoli Top! I'm gonna do some prop comedy for you, and you're gonna like it! Okay, what have we got? Here's a– Here's a house.
For, uh I don't know.
A mouse or something.
Here's a book.
Hey, what am I What am I supposed to do? Read? Next! All right, let's see what else we've got! Um And here's, uh, um Oh! An oyster shell, look! My My mom went to a seafood restaurant I don't have any It's just To me, it's just interesting.
I'll put that one back in the box.
What else we got? Oh, here we go.
Look! A nerd to go with the book! I am in both acts.
Thank you! Buford's still in the building! This isn't making me feel any better.
What? You wanna wrestle? Coming up next, Ferb Fletcher! Ahem.
So, how about that airline food? This, is making me feel worse.
What's airline food? Doesn't look like it's working.
So, what does it say for step number three? It says "Introduce her to someone new.
" That should be easy.
There are lots of nice people in Danville that she's never met.
Ferb, I've got an idea.
Hey, fellas! Look who decided to make an appearance.
You see, it occurred to me that what I should really be doing is fighting fire with fire.
And by fire, I mean Perry the Platypus.
And by fire, I also mean Perry the Platypus.
It occurred to me while I was on fire.
I made a bunch of doppelgangers to discredit and totally destroy you.
Behold! The Plata-Proliferator-inator! Meet Terry the Platypus, and say hello to Larry the Platypus, and say aloha to Jerry the Platypus.
Yeah, he was the first one out of the batch, but you know, he was so cute, I couldn't bear to– Ow! Ow! No, no! Jerry, you do not hit people.
You do not– Ow! No! Use your words, Jerry.
Anyway, all you guys, go get him! Yeahaa! Aww.
Look at this, Stacy.
He won't even answer his cell phone.
Excuse me, Miss Flynn? You and a guest are cordially invited to the Mixer Mingler.
Mixer Mingler? Say, aren't you that dummy from the night club? She's talking to you.
It's obviously some lame attempt by my brothers to cheer me up.
I'm not going.
Come on, it will do you good.
Oh, would you look at this? If I wasn't so depressed, my brothers would be so busted! With the Mix 'n' Mingler, you can meet someone new every two seconds.
Now, let's fire this baby up.
Fasten your seatbelts! I can't believe I'm doing– THIS! (Mix, mingle) (Song: Mix and Mingle Machine) (Mix, mingle) Glad to meet ya Nice to see ya My uncle owns a pizzeria Hey, I smell muffins! We love to bake them You got any leaves? I'd love to rake them Here's a maraca, we can shake 'em I like your pants? Here, you can take 'em Meet and greet folks off the streets So make sure that your underwear's clean 'Cause you've only got a second to make a good impression In a mix and mingle machine I raise rats My tooth fell out I love to dance when I have the gout I like to shoot a bow and arrow I like to dance just like a pharaoh I'm very small, I need a booster I'm being followed by a rooster Yeah, I'm followin' him.
Meet and greet folks off the streets, So make sure that your underwear's clean 'Cause you've only got a second to make a good impression In a mix and mingle machine I'm really dull, but you'll like Tom I drew a banjo on my mom! You'd never know I sport a rug You forgot your socks I need a hug I lost 10 pounds I'm into sprockets You'll never guess what's in my pocket I'm Tom I'm Keith I'm Sven I'm Rex Esh, eesh eesh eesh Next! Meet and greet folks off the streets So make sure that your underwear's clean 'Cause you've only got a second to make a good impression In a mix and mingle machine 'Cause you've only got a second to make a good impression In a mix and mingle machine (Mix, mingle) (Mix, mingle) (Mix, mingle) (Mix, mingle) Jerry? Curse you, Perry the Platypus! Sorry, folks.
Prepare for emergency ejection.
In hindsight, a simple ice cream cone might have been more effective.
See? Congratulations, Agent P.
I knew it couldn't be you causing all that trouble.
You are officially reinstated.
You know, a little ice cream always makes me feel better.
Maybe you're right.
I'll have two scoops of Jeremy? Jeremy! Hey, Candace.
What are you doing here? I didn't wanna break our date.
I just wanted to earn some extra money, so I could surprise you.
A surprise, for me? Oh, Jeremy.
Oh, Jeremy! This was so worth the wait.
I'm just glad you're not one of those people who freaks out just because someone cancels a date.
Right