The Proud Family (2001) s02e29 Episode Script

She Drives Me Crazy

(announcer) He’s at the 20, the ten,
Touchdown!
Michael Vick.
Vick is simply dominating this game.
Oh! All right, Mike. That’s my man.
Michael Vick is the bomb.
He don’t compare to my boy Barry Sanders.
Well, it doesn’t matter. ’Cause next week,
when I lead my team, the Riv’s Racers,
to the City Middle School
Football Championship,
the only name people will remember,
is Penny Proud, MVP.
That’s right.
’Cause my baby’s going to turn it out.
And you know this.
(reporter)
We interrupt the game for breaking news.
A low speed police chase
has the city in an uproar.
We go live to Marsha Mitsubishi
in our news copter.
-Marsha?
-We are hovering above,
what appears to be, an original Model T.
(Marsha) The driver has failed to heed
to repeated police requests to pull over.
-The chase has hit speeds
-(gasps)
as high as 15 miles an hour.
Eyewitnesses indicate the driver
is possibly a senior citizen.
Wait a minute.
Here is a close up on the driver
from our eye-in-the-sky cam.
(all) Suga Mama?
The Proud Family ♪
What? You and me will always be tight ♪
Family, every single day and night ♪
Even when you start acting like a fool ♪
You know I’m loving
Every single thing you do ♪
I know that I can always be myself ♪
I love you more than anybody else ♪
And every day
As I’m heading off to school ♪
You know there’s no one
I love as much as you ♪
Family, a family ♪
Proud Family ♪
They’ll make you scream ♪
They make you want to sing ♪
It’s a family thing, a family ♪
Proud, Proud Family ♪
Proud Family ♪
They’ll push your buttons ♪
Then make you want to hug them ♪
Family, a family ♪
Proud, Proud Family ♪
(Oscar) Yeowch!
(engine chugging)
(horn honking)
(sirens blaring)
Hey, Papi, what’s going on?
Why are all these police cars around?
Maybe they're finally going to arrest you for public ugliness!
(laughs)
Suga Mama!
Pull over.
Pull over!
Hey, Sunset!
Nice day, ain’t it?
She doesn’t understand me.
We’ll have to drop the spike strip.
(rattling)
Ooh, this sure is a bumpy road,
isn’t it, Papi?
And you sure are a lumpy load!
(laughs)
(sirens blaring)
(tires popping)
(crashing, glass shatters)
Mama!
Suga Mama, stop the car.
Suga Mama, stop the car.
Hey, son.
Didn’t I teach you better
than to be playing in the street.
Mama, roll down your window.
I can’t hear you, son, my window’s stuck.
(clangs)
(all) Pull over!
(whimpers)
Suga Mama, pull over.
Hey, Penny.
Now you know you’re not supposed
to be riding that bike in the street.
(screams)
Papi,
now why are they putting
all that oil in the road?
Hey, you kids, be careful!
(tires squealing)
Whoa!
(yelling)
(crashing)
Oh, ooh, hey.
I’m okay.
Thanks for breaking my fall, girl.
Ow!
(Penny) Ow!
That hurts!
Oh, is it a sprain, Dr. Payne?
Mm, it could be, Trudy.
And it could be a hairline fracture.
Fracture?
But the championship football game
is next week.
I’ve got to play, Dr. Payne.
Mm, sorry, itty-bitty,
but if it’s a fracture,
you’ll be watching from the sidelines.
Okay, Trudy,
I’m giving you custody
of these two trouble makers.
Thanks, Sunset.
Suga Mama, why were you being chased
by all those police cars?
Well, I ran a stop sign.
But that’s not all that happened?
No. They arrested me for interfering
with a police investigation.
I’m calling Johnny Cochran right now.
I wasn’t talking about you, Oscar.
Suga Mama has been driving for years
with an expired driver’s license.
I don’t need a new license.
What’s wrong with this one?
Well, for one thing, it expired in 1938!
(chuckles)
The only thing you can drive
with that license, is a dinosaur.
Hey, fool, don’t disrespect
the sweet, little Suga Mama.
Thank you, Dr. Payne.
Dr. Payne, what are you doing here?
He’s here to treat Penny.
We think she has a broken leg.
What? A broken leg?
I think we ought to get
a real doctor to look at her.
I am a real doctor, fool.
I’ve got three PhD’s and four title belts.
I knocked out Gerry Cooney,
and revived him.
Now everybody
stand behind this lead shield.
I’m ready to take the X-ray.
Oscar, Dr. Payne said for everyone
to stand behind the shield.
Come on, Trudy.
That’s not an X-ray machine,
and he’s not a doctor.
When are you going to catch on?
Okay, suit yourself, Proud.
(electrical zapping)
See there,
I told you nothing would happen.
So what does it look like, Dr. Payne?
Sorry, itty-bitty,
it’s a hairline fracture.
You’re benched for the next month.
What about Oscar, Dr. Payne?
Mm, I’d put a lamp shade on him.
(laughs)
(Penny) Mama!
Mama!
(rings bell)
(rings bell)
(rings bell)
(rings bell)
Trudy! Trudy!
Trudy!
(rings bell)
(babies crying, phone ringing)
Hello.
Trudy!
What do you want now, Suga Mama?
I need you to take me to the market.
(car engine rumbles)
Trudy!
Trudy!
(babies crying)
Mama!
(baby crying)
Trudy!
-(all crying, yelling)
-Mama! Trudy!
Trudy! Trudy
Do not call my name.
What’s wrong with you, Trudy
(Oscar) Did you know your eyes were
glowing and your head was spinning around?
Your daughter and your mama
are driving me crazy.
When I’m not waiting on Penny
hand and foot,
I’m taking Suga Mama everywhere
since she’s unable to drive herself.
Now, I have to take care of my daughter,
but I can’t handle your mama too, now.
Oscar, you better do something
now!
Okay, okay, I’ll take Suga Mama
to the old folks home.
Oscar, just take her to renew her license.
Why?
Oscar.
Okay, all right, I’ll take her.
Oh, thank you, baby.
I love you.
I love you, too.
Now, could you please put me down?
You got a perfect score, Mrs. Proud.
Go ahead with your bad self.
And you know this, Lou.
-(chuckles)
-(barks)
I like your style, Mrs. Proud.
Now, let’s see how you do
on the vision test.
All right, Louise.
And please, call me Suga Mama.
Mr. Proud, Suga Mama passed the eye
and the written test
with flying colors.
Oscar, I got a perfect score.
How?
I mean, way to go, Mama.
Now all you got to do
is pass the driving test,
and you are a licensed driver again.
Well, what are we waiting for?
Let’s rock and roll.
I’m sorry, Suga Mama,
but dogs aren’t allowed to ride
during the driving test.
But, but, but
but Puff’s my good luck charm.
I’m sorry, sweetie,
but, you know, that’s the rules.
It’s an insurance thing.
(whimpers)
-But, uh
-Suga Mama, relax.
I know you’ll do just fine.
Let’s go. I’ll be there with you.
Oh, okay.
(whimpers)
(garbling)
Come on, one more! Double or nothing.
What’s wrong? You scared? Uh-huh.
I knew those first ten games were luck.
(car horn honking)
-(car tires squealing)
-What the
(loud crash)
(whimpers)
(Oscar) Ow! Ow!
Quiet, fool! This is a delicate procedure.
Ow!
Then could you delicately do your job?
Don’t push at my bedside manner, sucka!
Oscar, finish telling us about Suga Mama.
Oh, yeah. It was weird, Trudy.
Suga Mama passed the written test
and the eye test,
but during the driving test,
she pretty much destroyed the whole DMV.
I’ve never seen anybody drive that badly.
Where is Suga Mama, Daddy?
Is she okay?
Oh, she’s fine.
You can’t hurt anything that old.
Suga Mama survived
some of the greatest disasters
in the history of mankind.
(Oscar) The Hindenburg.
(pops)
The Titanic.
(screaming)
That meteor that took out the dinosaurs.
(explosion)
And 30 years of The Jeffersons reruns.
Oh, Oscar. I’m going over to Suga Mama’s.
I’m worried about her.
You should be worried about me.
I’m the one they used the Jaws of Life on.
(Dr. Payne) Don’t worry, Proud.
I’ll take care of you.
Let’s take an X-ray and make sure
you don’t have any broken bones.
Here’s the lead cover. Put it on!
Look, Doc. I told you that little box
has no effect on me.
Fine. Get behind the shield, itty-bitty.
(shrieks)
(electrical zapping)
Ah! So, Doc,
how do I look?
Suga Mama, are you okay?
Suga Mama?
(Suga Mama) Get off my porch!
Suga Mama, it’s Trudy.
(Suga Mama) I know who it is.
I said, get off my porch!
(shrieks)
I don't brake for hags!
(laughs)
My Momma and Me ♪
My Momma and Me ♪
(announcer)
Stay tuned for the senior division
of the North American
Drag Race Association,
where drivers over 90
compete for cash, prizes
and young organ donors.
(engines revving)
(bells dinging)
(crashing)
Well, we have a winner:
Thompson’s Funeral Home.
(magical tinkling)
Where you takin’ me?
To a better place, Suga Mama.
A better place.
(upbeat music playing)
(Puff whimpering)
(screaming)
(screeches)
(yelps)
(footsteps thundering)
(evil laughter)
(screaming)
(gasping)
Oh, Puff.
Why, Suga Mama had a bad dream.
Here’s your jersey, baby.
Why do I need it? I can’t play today.
I thought you’d like to wear it,
and sit on the sideline
with your teammates.
You can be their good luck charm.
They’re gonna need luck,
playing without my superstar baby girl.
-You can come here now.
-(buzzing)
Uh thanks, Daddy.
So, is Suga Mama
going to the game with us?
No, and I’m worried.
We haven’t seen or talked to Suga Mama
in almost a week.
I really miss Suga Mama.
Don’t you, Oscar?
Suga Mama who?
Oh, Oscar.
Oh, come on, Trudy,
this has been the nicest,
quietest week I ever had!
Suga Mama failing her driving test,
is the best thing
that’s ever happened to me,
not to mention other drivers out there.
Daddy, how can you say that?
Very happily.
Now, come on, family,
it’s time to tailgate before the big game!
You’re right, Oscar.
And I know just the perfect place
to do it.
(buzzing, crackling)
(Trudy) Oscar,
when I decided
that we were going to tailgate
at Suga Mama’s house,
I meant outside!
Look, Trudy, I don’t tell you how to nag,
so you don’t tell me how to grill.
Besides, Suga Mama doesn’t mind.
Do you, Mama?
No, son.
Go on, and do whatever you want.
See, Trudy?
Suga Mama knows what time it is.
Now, go and make me
a pitcher of lemonade, woman.
Be gone!
(growls)
Ow!
So, Suga Mama,
how are you feeling?
Doesn’t matter, baby.
What does anything matter?
Suga Mama,
I’ve never seen you so down before.
Yeah, Mama.
Where’s your spunk?
(rattling)
Spunk’s for young, useful people, son.
My time has passed.
Suga Mama, don’t talk like that!
Why don’t you come with us to the game?
’Cause I don’t have a license.
I can’t go anywhere
if I ain’t got a license.
But Mama and Daddy are driving.
No! If I can’t get around on my own,
I don’t want to go anywhere!
Hmm! You didn’t have a problem
asking me to take you around last week.
Well, things have changed.
Puff! What’s the matter with your leg?
Puff?
What are you talking about, Suga Mama?
I’m talking about Puff.
Look at him over there limping.
Over where?
See? Puff.
Over there limping again!
(whimpers)
Where, Suga Mama?
Right there!
Can’t you see?
Now, read that line, Sugar Bear.
B
(mumbles)
(softly)
Little better
What the
Thank you. Well, I see the problem.
Her vision is bad, isn’t it, Doctor.
No, her eyesight’s fine
if she were a bat!
Don’t worry, I’ll fix her up.
Suga Mama, why didn’t you tell us
you were having trouble seeing?
I don’t know, Penny.
Pride, I guess.
Just didn’t want nobody to think
I was getting old.
So how’d you pass the vision test
at the DMV?
Oh, that.
Well
I’ve got a confession to make.
(Suga Mama)
You see, for the last couple of months,
Puff has been acting as my eyes.
He helped me pass my vision test.
And the written test.
He even helped me take the photo.
But when it was time
to take the driving test,
the driving test lady made your daddy
take my Puff away.
I was on my own.
(test lady screams)
(men yelling)
(hens clucking)
(horn honking)
(test lady screaming)
(bridge bell clanging)
(Suga Mama cackles)
(ship horn blasts)
(screaming)
(gasps)
(Suga Mama) Suga Mama in town
(cackling)
Oh, no, no!
(screams)
(tires screech)
(loud crash)
Ooh, I couldn’t see a thing.
Well, tell me what you see now.
Hoo-hoo! I can see again!
It’s a miracle!
No, it’s your new glasses.
Baby’s right, Sugar Bear.
Now, if you ever need anything,
just give Dr. Payne a call. Hmm!
You got that! Thank you, Dr. Payne.
Come on, family.
Where are we going?
You’ll see.
(laughs)
"See." Get it?
Ha!
Oh, no! You!
Well, look, Lou,
I’m sorry about last week.
But I’m ready
to take the driving test again.
Are you kidding?
We just finished repairing
everything you tore up, girl!
But things will be different this time.
Got myself some new glasses, see?
So how am I doing now?
Well, we haven’t hit anything, so
we’re ahead of the game.
(gears grinding)
-(horn honks)
-(Suga Mama hoots)
Here you go, Suga Mama.
You’re legal.
Thank you, Louise.
And thank you, too, family,
for caring about your Suga Mama.
I love you.
(family) And we love you, Suga Mama.
(barking)
(announcer) And the Racers take the field.
But how will they do
without their star player, Penny Proud?
(horn honking)
(tires screeching)
(cheering)
All right, guys, go out there
and bring home the title!
Go Racers, on three:
One, two, three
(all) Go, Racers!
(Suga Mama) That’s my grand-baby!
(engine rumbling)
Ooh oh
(tires screeching)
(crowd screaming)
(horn honking)
Hey, look, Puff!
There’s Bobby’s video on TV!
Hey, Bobby!
I’m so disfunkshunal ♪
Oh! Can you feel it ♪
Can you? Like I feel it ♪
Feel it ♪
I’m so, uh ♪
Disfunkshunal, uh ♪
Can you feel it, yow ♪
Like I feel it, look here ♪
I’m so ♪
Disfunkshunal ♪
Disfunkshunal! ♪
-Can you feel it like I feel it? ♪
-Can you feel that? ♪
Oh! Sometimes ♪
I’m gettin’ my disfunkshun on ♪
And everything is all wrong ♪
Oh, my life was out of control ♪
Oh, whoo ♪
That’s why I wrote this song ♪
I’m so disfunkshunal
I’m so disfunkshunal ♪
I’m so disfunkshunal, I’m so ♪
Frankly, ya’ll the same ♪
-Theotis! ♪
-I’m so disfunkshunal ♪
He da funk ♪
I’m so disfunkshunal
I’m so disfunkshaunl ♪
-Horns! ♪
-(horns playing)
Ladies and gentlemen,
it is my distinguished pleasure
but don’t take it from me,
take a look at ’em now.
The Disfunkshun Horns!
(Bobby) Manny.
Marvin,
and Cyrus.
Disfunkshunal ♪
Put your hands together ♪
-Sing it! ♪
-Like I feel it ♪
Can you feel it? ♪
I’m so disfunkshunal ♪
-Disfunkshunal ♪
-Can you feel it ♪
Oh! Like I feel it? ♪
Oh! I’m so ♪
D-Y-S ♪
F-U-N-K ♪
-♪ shunal ♪
-Like I feel it? ♪
I’m so ♪
So disfunkshunal ♪
Disfunkshunal ♪
Can you feel it, whoo! ♪
Like I feel it? ♪
-Ooh, ooh, ooh! ♪
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