Clarence US (2014) s02e30 Episode Script
Tree of Life
1 [Remote clicks.]
[Upbeat music plays.]
I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! Young Chad: There we were between the ground and the sky hoping that the sun would come back and that the opossums wouldn't.
[All shivering.]
But when we finally reached the top, - it was all worth it.
- It was all worth it.
We carved our names in that tree, and we've been best friends ever since.
Wow! Since when did it snow in Aberdale? Tell me more about your friends.
Where are they? Tell me everything.
Well, Jere went to Nam where her parents moved.
And Gooner, I like to think he's still watching over me.
He works in surveillance.
[Chuckles.]
Just like me and Sumo and Jeff.
- Oh, tape more, tape more! - Ah, man alive.
- Thanks for helping me hang signs, guys.
- Sumo: No problem.
One day, we're gonna carve our names into that tree, and we'll be best tree buds, too.
I'm afraid it's too late, little man.
"Notification fungus tree removal.
" Yeah, tree's infected.
That's why they're cutting it down tomorrow.
Well, it's like they say.
You don't know what you got till it's gone.
[Sad music.]
- Well, see you at home! - Ohh.
[All munching.]
Mom, can you pass the, uh, ham? Oh.
Mmm! Sorry, hon, it's all gone.
[Groans softly.]
[Sad music.]
Wooly:This sale's headed for extinction! So buy your discount mattress before it's gone! [Sad music.]
Ohh.
Hey, Clarence, want to play a board game? Heck, yeah, I do! [Gasps.]
Where's Sumo? - Oh, he's gone.
- Ohh.
[Sad music.]
- To the bathroom.
- Oh.
- Aah! Come on, Jeff.
- What? Let's go, Sumo! [Laughing.]
Go where? [Whispered gibberish.]
[Music.]
This is the tallest tree in the neighborhood, maybe the world.
And tomorrow, they're cutting it down.
If we're gonna climb it, tonight's our shot.
Climb it? I thought we were just gonna pay our respects.
I came for the fungus! Ha ha! Ah.
[Laughs.]
Alternate idea there's a parking garage next door.
Why don't we just walk to the top? Boop, yeah.
Boop.
[Laughs.]
Ugh.
Fine.
But I don't want to be out late.
[Grunts.]
[Squeak!.]
[Farts.]
We're gonna be out late.
[All grunting.]
[Straining.]
Just a little bit higher.
That's as high as I can get.
[All grunting.]
That was lower, but I appreciate the effort.
- I don't even want to be here.
- Well, just help us up at least.
Fine! [Grunts.]
Whew! Come on up, best bud.
Weather's really great up here.
You can sign my name for me.
Good night.
[Rustling.]
[Button clicks.]
Nocturnal animal! [Shrieking.]
- Wow! - Uh - What? - Jeff, you have climber's arms! I do? Wow! I-I had no idea.
You'd think that Sumo would be the best at climbing [Chuckles.]
but no.
[Chuckles.]
Believe me, I'm as shocked as you are.
[Growls.]
Well, let's do this.
[Whooping.]
[Grunting.]
[Music.]
Ha ha! [Whooping.]
I'm doing it! I'm actually doing it! [Muttering.]
[Whispered gibberish.]
Huh? [Grunts.]
[Birds chirping.]
Huh? [Crackling.]
Ohh.
I feel so sore but so alive.
You really did it up out there.
Gimme five.
Uh, guys.
I'm not so sure about this tree.
I keep seeing these weird faces.
That's probably just the fungus warping the bark.
Who made you the big tree expert?! [Grunting.]
It's all in the arms, baby, something you wouldn't know anything about.
That's it! You want a piece of this?! [Grunts.]
Sure.
How about some arm wrestling? Ah.
These are the quarrels that only true friendships can bring about.
[Both grunting.]
Okay, guys.
That's enough.
Both: Clarence, we're hungry! Oh.
Ta-da! I thought if we were on a break from climbing, we could play "Jumungo.
" "The only game where players climb a tree.
" [Groans.]
[Music.]
All right, guys.
Big decision.
Which way do we go? - Isn't it obvious? - We should ask the tree.
Sumo, are you sure you didn't eat any of the fungus? [Whispered gibberish.]
We should go this way.
Really? Is that what you guys want? It looks so scary.
[Wind howling.]
[Hoarsely.]
Surely tree gnomes know how to cook.
I'm still hungry.
[Gruffly.]
I told you we should've gone the other way.
Fellas, check out this goofy tree face.
[Laughs.]
[Screams.]
[Both scream.]
Sumo: Finally! Snacks! I'm starting to see why they're cutting this tree down.
- Aah! - Wait for me! Whoa! [Thudding.]
[All screaming.]
[Grunting.]
- Clarence, pull me up! - Yeah, after you pull me up! [Straining.]
I can't hold on to both of you! Save me! You need my strong climber's arms! - I can talk to the tree! - You're both my friends.
If you don't decide, we'll both fall.
The tree got us into this.
The tree shall decide.
[Whispered gibberish.]
[Speaking gibberish.]
The tree says, "Let go.
" - Nooo! - Sumooo! [chuckles.]
That was fun.
[Grunts.]
[Both panting.]
He sacrificed himself.
It won't be in vain.
[Music.]
Hey, Jeffrey! Pull me up! Jeff? [Breathing heavily.]
[Grunts.]
Jeff? Why'd you stop climbing? They say that air is thinner at higher altitudes.
[Chuckles.]
Ironic.
I have climber's arms but a groundling's lungs.
[Shivers.]
[Gasps.]
I see the light.
The sunrise! We're almost at the top! [Coughs.]
I can't move.
Then I'll move for you.
[Music.]
I'm holding you back, Clarence.
- You have to leave me.
- No.
I don't want to be like Chad and Jere and Gooner.
They grew up and and went in different directions.
We have to do this together.
Aah! [Dramatic music.]
[yelling.]
Jeff! Oh.
That was weird.
[Wind howling.]
Voice: Keep climbing.
[Gasps.]
Who said that? Tree-fungus face? You talk? You know, any day now, the sun will rise, and then I'll be gone.
You got to climb me, Clarence.
Yeah.
O-Okay.
[Grunting.]
Yes! Do it for your friends.
You want your friends to be friends forever, don't you? Yeah, me and Jeff and Sumo friends forever.
And me.
I'll be your friend, too, forever.
Yes.
[Echoing.]
Welcome, my boy.
You made it here.
Now sign the contract.
Oh, I mean bark.
Uh, okay.
[Normal voice.]
Carve your name into me like Chad did.
Remember full legal name, middle initial.
- Yes! - Wow! Just like us.
[Echoing.]
Come on.
What are you waiting for? Don't want to miss your chance.
You don't know what you got till they're gone.
Wait.
What did you say? [Normal voice.]
Um, oh, yeah.
What you got till it's gone.
You said, "till they're gone.
" No, I didn't.
I was wrong.
I don't need to carve our names on top of a tree to be friends forever.
I just need to be where they are.
What?! But you're here [Echoing.]
with me.
Nooooo! [Laughs evilly.]
You made a bad choice, Clarence.
Why did you leave me? [Laughs evilly.]
Aah! - Who are you? - Name's Jere.
But I thought you were in the Nam.
I was Namaste, New Mexico, just a few hours' drive.
Hey, bud, you okay? Telling you guys about climbing this tree made me realize I should call these dudes to catch up.
When you didn't come home, Gooner here knew just where to find you.
Wow! So you're all still bestest tree buddies? - Um, uh - Wow.
That's awesome! Sorry we didn't get to carve our names at the top - like you wanted, Clarence.
- Oh, that's okay.
It's just a dumb old pile of twigs anyway.
Well, how about we go home and play "Jumungo"? [Menacingly.]
Don't you kids ever play "Jumungo".
Now, let's watch that tree get chopped down.
Jeff: Oh, man, they're almost there.
That thing's coming down.
I had 74 little friends who loved me, who cared for me.
They said they'd never, never leave me.
[All cheering.]
[Upbeat music plays.]
I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! Young Chad: There we were between the ground and the sky hoping that the sun would come back and that the opossums wouldn't.
[All shivering.]
But when we finally reached the top, - it was all worth it.
- It was all worth it.
We carved our names in that tree, and we've been best friends ever since.
Wow! Since when did it snow in Aberdale? Tell me more about your friends.
Where are they? Tell me everything.
Well, Jere went to Nam where her parents moved.
And Gooner, I like to think he's still watching over me.
He works in surveillance.
[Chuckles.]
Just like me and Sumo and Jeff.
- Oh, tape more, tape more! - Ah, man alive.
- Thanks for helping me hang signs, guys.
- Sumo: No problem.
One day, we're gonna carve our names into that tree, and we'll be best tree buds, too.
I'm afraid it's too late, little man.
"Notification fungus tree removal.
" Yeah, tree's infected.
That's why they're cutting it down tomorrow.
Well, it's like they say.
You don't know what you got till it's gone.
[Sad music.]
- Well, see you at home! - Ohh.
[All munching.]
Mom, can you pass the, uh, ham? Oh.
Mmm! Sorry, hon, it's all gone.
[Groans softly.]
[Sad music.]
Wooly:This sale's headed for extinction! So buy your discount mattress before it's gone! [Sad music.]
Ohh.
Hey, Clarence, want to play a board game? Heck, yeah, I do! [Gasps.]
Where's Sumo? - Oh, he's gone.
- Ohh.
[Sad music.]
- To the bathroom.
- Oh.
- Aah! Come on, Jeff.
- What? Let's go, Sumo! [Laughing.]
Go where? [Whispered gibberish.]
[Music.]
This is the tallest tree in the neighborhood, maybe the world.
And tomorrow, they're cutting it down.
If we're gonna climb it, tonight's our shot.
Climb it? I thought we were just gonna pay our respects.
I came for the fungus! Ha ha! Ah.
[Laughs.]
Alternate idea there's a parking garage next door.
Why don't we just walk to the top? Boop, yeah.
Boop.
[Laughs.]
Ugh.
Fine.
But I don't want to be out late.
[Grunts.]
[Squeak!.]
[Farts.]
We're gonna be out late.
[All grunting.]
[Straining.]
Just a little bit higher.
That's as high as I can get.
[All grunting.]
That was lower, but I appreciate the effort.
- I don't even want to be here.
- Well, just help us up at least.
Fine! [Grunts.]
Whew! Come on up, best bud.
Weather's really great up here.
You can sign my name for me.
Good night.
[Rustling.]
[Button clicks.]
Nocturnal animal! [Shrieking.]
- Wow! - Uh - What? - Jeff, you have climber's arms! I do? Wow! I-I had no idea.
You'd think that Sumo would be the best at climbing [Chuckles.]
but no.
[Chuckles.]
Believe me, I'm as shocked as you are.
[Growls.]
Well, let's do this.
[Whooping.]
[Grunting.]
[Music.]
Ha ha! [Whooping.]
I'm doing it! I'm actually doing it! [Muttering.]
[Whispered gibberish.]
Huh? [Grunts.]
[Birds chirping.]
Huh? [Crackling.]
Ohh.
I feel so sore but so alive.
You really did it up out there.
Gimme five.
Uh, guys.
I'm not so sure about this tree.
I keep seeing these weird faces.
That's probably just the fungus warping the bark.
Who made you the big tree expert?! [Grunting.]
It's all in the arms, baby, something you wouldn't know anything about.
That's it! You want a piece of this?! [Grunts.]
Sure.
How about some arm wrestling? Ah.
These are the quarrels that only true friendships can bring about.
[Both grunting.]
Okay, guys.
That's enough.
Both: Clarence, we're hungry! Oh.
Ta-da! I thought if we were on a break from climbing, we could play "Jumungo.
" "The only game where players climb a tree.
" [Groans.]
[Music.]
All right, guys.
Big decision.
Which way do we go? - Isn't it obvious? - We should ask the tree.
Sumo, are you sure you didn't eat any of the fungus? [Whispered gibberish.]
We should go this way.
Really? Is that what you guys want? It looks so scary.
[Wind howling.]
[Hoarsely.]
Surely tree gnomes know how to cook.
I'm still hungry.
[Gruffly.]
I told you we should've gone the other way.
Fellas, check out this goofy tree face.
[Laughs.]
[Screams.]
[Both scream.]
Sumo: Finally! Snacks! I'm starting to see why they're cutting this tree down.
- Aah! - Wait for me! Whoa! [Thudding.]
[All screaming.]
[Grunting.]
- Clarence, pull me up! - Yeah, after you pull me up! [Straining.]
I can't hold on to both of you! Save me! You need my strong climber's arms! - I can talk to the tree! - You're both my friends.
If you don't decide, we'll both fall.
The tree got us into this.
The tree shall decide.
[Whispered gibberish.]
[Speaking gibberish.]
The tree says, "Let go.
" - Nooo! - Sumooo! [chuckles.]
That was fun.
[Grunts.]
[Both panting.]
He sacrificed himself.
It won't be in vain.
[Music.]
Hey, Jeffrey! Pull me up! Jeff? [Breathing heavily.]
[Grunts.]
Jeff? Why'd you stop climbing? They say that air is thinner at higher altitudes.
[Chuckles.]
Ironic.
I have climber's arms but a groundling's lungs.
[Shivers.]
[Gasps.]
I see the light.
The sunrise! We're almost at the top! [Coughs.]
I can't move.
Then I'll move for you.
[Music.]
I'm holding you back, Clarence.
- You have to leave me.
- No.
I don't want to be like Chad and Jere and Gooner.
They grew up and and went in different directions.
We have to do this together.
Aah! [Dramatic music.]
[yelling.]
Jeff! Oh.
That was weird.
[Wind howling.]
Voice: Keep climbing.
[Gasps.]
Who said that? Tree-fungus face? You talk? You know, any day now, the sun will rise, and then I'll be gone.
You got to climb me, Clarence.
Yeah.
O-Okay.
[Grunting.]
Yes! Do it for your friends.
You want your friends to be friends forever, don't you? Yeah, me and Jeff and Sumo friends forever.
And me.
I'll be your friend, too, forever.
Yes.
[Echoing.]
Welcome, my boy.
You made it here.
Now sign the contract.
Oh, I mean bark.
Uh, okay.
[Normal voice.]
Carve your name into me like Chad did.
Remember full legal name, middle initial.
- Yes! - Wow! Just like us.
[Echoing.]
Come on.
What are you waiting for? Don't want to miss your chance.
You don't know what you got till they're gone.
Wait.
What did you say? [Normal voice.]
Um, oh, yeah.
What you got till it's gone.
You said, "till they're gone.
" No, I didn't.
I was wrong.
I don't need to carve our names on top of a tree to be friends forever.
I just need to be where they are.
What?! But you're here [Echoing.]
with me.
Nooooo! [Laughs evilly.]
You made a bad choice, Clarence.
Why did you leave me? [Laughs evilly.]
Aah! - Who are you? - Name's Jere.
But I thought you were in the Nam.
I was Namaste, New Mexico, just a few hours' drive.
Hey, bud, you okay? Telling you guys about climbing this tree made me realize I should call these dudes to catch up.
When you didn't come home, Gooner here knew just where to find you.
Wow! So you're all still bestest tree buddies? - Um, uh - Wow.
That's awesome! Sorry we didn't get to carve our names at the top - like you wanted, Clarence.
- Oh, that's okay.
It's just a dumb old pile of twigs anyway.
Well, how about we go home and play "Jumungo"? [Menacingly.]
Don't you kids ever play "Jumungo".
Now, let's watch that tree get chopped down.
Jeff: Oh, man, they're almost there.
That thing's coming down.
I had 74 little friends who loved me, who cared for me.
They said they'd never, never leave me.
[All cheering.]