Phineas and Ferb s02e30 Episode Script
Fireside Girl Jamboree (15 min)
by ashirogi27 Good morning, Danville! Excitement's in the air today as we await the announcement of the Paisley Sideburn Brothers' first concert visit to the Tri-State Area! Phone lines are clogged and web sites are crashing, as local music fans try to get first crack at the hottest concert tickets of the decade! Must Get Tickets Oh, still not on sale! What the?! Hey, isn't it a bit early to start building another crazy contraption? What, this? We're still cleaning up from yesterday.
It's funny, the cleanup usually takes care of itself, but we've been working all night on this one.
That's the last of it, guys! Thanks! It was our biggest project ever! How could you miss it? I was kind of busy.
Stacy, what's up? My ticket is in row R! Close enough to smell them! What did you get?!!? Ticket? How'd you get a ticket? That's right, folks! Unless you've had your head stickin' out of a window, you know those tickets just went on sale and sold out in 13 seconds flat! Sold out? That's right! Sold out! But you still might be able to catch this special added benefit concert tonight at the Fireside Girls Jamboree! Okay, I still got a chance! What the heck? "Fireside Girls Only? Please Enter Your Patch #"? Gotta guess the right numbers.
Gotta guess the right numbers.
"You Have Exceeded Your Log-In Attempts"? No, you've exceeded your log-in attempts! Phineas! Yes, Candace? Your little friend, Isabella, she's a Fireside Girl, right?! What's her patch number?! I'm not sure.
But I can ask her when she gets back from her meeting at the Fireside Girl lodge.
Lodge, huh? C'mon, you're takin' me down there.
Now! Hey, where's Perry? Morning, Agent P.
We're not sure what Doofenshmirtz is up to, but we're sending you to his lab.
And we're using this new transporter device we've been working on.
It's not approved for testing on humans yet, so you get to try it out first.
Good luck, Agent P.
Carl, fire it up! Yes, it's true that the Paisley Sideburn Brothers tickets can only be ordered by an active-duty Fireside Girl.
But if you just want toâ Tell you what, I'm joining up! Set me up, sister! Okay.
I hereby nominate Candace Flynn into membership in the Loyal Sisterhood of Fireside Girls.
I second! Jinx! Alright, girls, come to order.
Now, just fill out this application, read the training manual, sign the insurance waivers, and you can be sworn in at our meeting next week.
Next week?! But that's too late! I'm sorry, but the traditional procedure comes straight from the Fireside Rules of Order, as established by our founder, Eliza M.
Feyersied.
Well, that's a stupid rule.
You watch your mouth, little lady! Who puts a picture frame on a window? Is there anything Ferb and I can do to help? Candace really wants to see that concert.
Candace, ifâ If you don't really want to be a Fireside Girl, thenâ No, no, no! I do, I do! I've gotta get to that concert! Candace, you're not listening to me.
You don'tâ Pfft! Forget it! I thought Fireside Girls were supposed to help people.
There is another way! You don't meanâ Yes! Isabella, please read Article 9, Section Charlie, Footnote 6.
"A troop leader may award full Fireside Girl status to any girl who has earned 50 patches.
" But, Mrs.
Feyersied, 50 patches in one day?! Is that even possible?! Well, it depends on how badly she wants it.
Bring it on! Alright! All you need is a cadet uniform and we can get started.
Okay.
Where can I buy one? Ouch! Uh, Agent P, we've teleported you three feet too far to the right.
Perry! Doo bee doo bee doo bahâ Perry the Platypus?! Do you even realize how much trouble it is to set a trap? And for what? You just jump out of the way! Ah, here we go.
We've recalibrated the teleporter.
I-I don't know what just happened, but I like it.
Now, with you safely inside the cage, I can unveil my new device of doom.
Behold, the Metal-Destructinator! Fifty patches in one day? Where do I start? By combining the shortest linear distance with the highest population density, we've plotted a course for you that's optimized for the greatest number of patch-acquiring opportunities in the shortest period of time.
Then after you wrestle the crocodiles, you'll corkscrew through the overpass and free fall past the flaming high wire to make your last delivery and receive the 50th patch.
Got it? Is all that really necessary? We're going to need you to plant one of these Fireside Girl markers at the site of each task, so the girls at the lodge can track your progress.
Now, is Candace Gertrude Flynn your full legal name? Ugh.
Yes.
Great! You just earned your Honesty Patch! Congratulations! Really? That was easy! C'mon, let me do another! Ooh, I think you just earned your Enthusiasm Patch! Wow! Two down! Yippee! This is easy! Okay.
Ooh, goody, I'm great at word problems.
No.
There's 15 senior citizens that need help crossing the street.
Good luck, Candace.
Don't forget your helmet.
(Song: Go Candace) Senior-service patch: Check.
Go, Candace! Go, go, Candace! Go, Candace! Go, go, Candace! Go, Candace! Go, go, Candace! Go, Candace! Go, go, Candace! Running with the Bulls Patch: check.
And Running with the Bullies Patch: check.
Go, Candace! Go, go, Candace! Go, Candace! Go, go, Candace! Discovering Something That Doesn't Exist Patch: check.
Go! Here you go, Candace.
Wrestling an Alligator in a Sewer Patch.
Alligator, you're goin' down! C'mon, Candace, you can do it! Pin him already! We're running behind! This is really putting us off schedule.
So, let me explain my new evil scheme.
A while back, my doctor put me on a low-carb diet, but I still can't lose those last ten pounds.
Every time I get close to my goal, there's this knocking at the door.
Who is it? Fireside Girls.
Would you like to buy some of our cupcakes? Cupcakes you say? Iâ I-I really shouldn't.
I should get back to my exercise.
I'mâ almost down to my goal.
Oh, we understand.
Have a niceâ Alright, you talked me into it! Thanks! So with my weakness for high-carb sweets, there's really no other choice but to get rid of the bridge to the Fireside cupcake factory.
And my Metal-Destructinator can turn any metal object into broccoli.
I know what you're thinking, why broccoli? But, w-well, y'know, it's healthy.
It's like the opposite of what I'm trying to getâ It'sâ It's poetic justice.
It'sâ Well, it's notâ Not justice, exactâ It'sâ Poetic evil.
It's poetically evil.
Now, to make some last-minute adjustments Wrestling an Alligator in a Sewer Patch Check.
So what's next? We're a bit behind.
You can finish out the rest while you work on your Delivering Cupcakes Patch.
Sounds easy enough.
Well, you have to deliver all these cupcakes.
All these?! No problem.
We've built you a rollercoaster delivery system.
Alright, let's do this.
Siga sentados, por favor.
(Remain seated, please.
) Are you speaking Spaniâ Here are your cupcakes! Bug Collecting Patch: check.
I'm going to hurl! Motion Sickness Patch: Check! The Paisley Sideburn Brothers! Let's hurry! go, Candace! Go, Candace! Go, go, Candace! Go, Candace! Go, go, Candace! Ready to fire.
Ow! Ow! Yeawwo! Oh! Oh! Ow! Ow! Quit it, you annoying little pest! Last one! Woo-hoo! Oh! Wow, that was fun.
Fun? Are you nuts? And how did a rollercoaster turn into broccoli? And why broccoli?! How does that make any sense?! Candace, focus.
You've still got five minutes and it's 20 blocks away.
So, uh Good luck with that.
No, I can do this.
Now that's persistence.
I see the building.
And I still got three minutes! Got it! Out of order?! Okay, stairs.
Step aerobics, don't fail me now! Come back here! Oh, what are you doing down there?! Uh-oh.
Curse you, Perry theâ Coming.
Fireside Girl.
Here's your order of cupcakes.
Aren't you a little old to be a Fireside Girl? Yes.
Yes, I am.
Candace, we are all very impressed.
You earned more patches in one day than anyone in the history of the Fireside Girls.
which pretty much blows away the previous record of 6 patches held by our own Adyson Sweetwater.
Aw, nuts! No, I know I did all 50, and I made sure to plant the markers and everything.
Huh? Looks like I forgot one.
I'll just run back before it's five o'clock.
I'm sorry, Candace.
Y'know, you may not have lit up the entire board, but you did demonstrate remarkable persistence.
You mean I get a persistence patch? And that makes 50, right? There's no Persistence Patch, is there? Nope.
'Fraid not.
Hold on, Isabella.
Little Miss Sassy Mouth here gets a special patch for breakin' the all-time record.
Congratulations, Fireside Girl! And here's your ticket for the Paisley Sideburn Brothers concert.
Let's go! Woo! Yeah! Phineas and Ferb? How did you guys get in? Isabella invited us.
She's allowed to bring guests, you know.
That's what I kept trying to tell you, Candace, but you were so insistent on becoming a Fireside Girl.
Maybe you can start working on your Good Listener Patch next.
C'mon, Candace, you can do it! Pin him already! We're running behind! This is really putting us off schedule.
Ooh! That's gonna leave a mark.
Yes.
On the alligator.
It's funny, the cleanup usually takes care of itself, but we've been working all night on this one.
That's the last of it, guys! Thanks! It was our biggest project ever! How could you miss it? I was kind of busy.
Stacy, what's up? My ticket is in row R! Close enough to smell them! What did you get?!!? Ticket? How'd you get a ticket? That's right, folks! Unless you've had your head stickin' out of a window, you know those tickets just went on sale and sold out in 13 seconds flat! Sold out? That's right! Sold out! But you still might be able to catch this special added benefit concert tonight at the Fireside Girls Jamboree! Okay, I still got a chance! What the heck? "Fireside Girls Only? Please Enter Your Patch #"? Gotta guess the right numbers.
Gotta guess the right numbers.
"You Have Exceeded Your Log-In Attempts"? No, you've exceeded your log-in attempts! Phineas! Yes, Candace? Your little friend, Isabella, she's a Fireside Girl, right?! What's her patch number?! I'm not sure.
But I can ask her when she gets back from her meeting at the Fireside Girl lodge.
Lodge, huh? C'mon, you're takin' me down there.
Now! Hey, where's Perry? Morning, Agent P.
We're not sure what Doofenshmirtz is up to, but we're sending you to his lab.
And we're using this new transporter device we've been working on.
It's not approved for testing on humans yet, so you get to try it out first.
Good luck, Agent P.
Carl, fire it up! Yes, it's true that the Paisley Sideburn Brothers tickets can only be ordered by an active-duty Fireside Girl.
But if you just want toâ Tell you what, I'm joining up! Set me up, sister! Okay.
I hereby nominate Candace Flynn into membership in the Loyal Sisterhood of Fireside Girls.
I second! Jinx! Alright, girls, come to order.
Now, just fill out this application, read the training manual, sign the insurance waivers, and you can be sworn in at our meeting next week.
Next week?! But that's too late! I'm sorry, but the traditional procedure comes straight from the Fireside Rules of Order, as established by our founder, Eliza M.
Feyersied.
Well, that's a stupid rule.
You watch your mouth, little lady! Who puts a picture frame on a window? Is there anything Ferb and I can do to help? Candace really wants to see that concert.
Candace, ifâ If you don't really want to be a Fireside Girl, thenâ No, no, no! I do, I do! I've gotta get to that concert! Candace, you're not listening to me.
You don'tâ Pfft! Forget it! I thought Fireside Girls were supposed to help people.
There is another way! You don't meanâ Yes! Isabella, please read Article 9, Section Charlie, Footnote 6.
"A troop leader may award full Fireside Girl status to any girl who has earned 50 patches.
" But, Mrs.
Feyersied, 50 patches in one day?! Is that even possible?! Well, it depends on how badly she wants it.
Bring it on! Alright! All you need is a cadet uniform and we can get started.
Okay.
Where can I buy one? Ouch! Uh, Agent P, we've teleported you three feet too far to the right.
Perry! Doo bee doo bee doo bahâ Perry the Platypus?! Do you even realize how much trouble it is to set a trap? And for what? You just jump out of the way! Ah, here we go.
We've recalibrated the teleporter.
I-I don't know what just happened, but I like it.
Now, with you safely inside the cage, I can unveil my new device of doom.
Behold, the Metal-Destructinator! Fifty patches in one day? Where do I start? By combining the shortest linear distance with the highest population density, we've plotted a course for you that's optimized for the greatest number of patch-acquiring opportunities in the shortest period of time.
Then after you wrestle the crocodiles, you'll corkscrew through the overpass and free fall past the flaming high wire to make your last delivery and receive the 50th patch.
Got it? Is all that really necessary? We're going to need you to plant one of these Fireside Girl markers at the site of each task, so the girls at the lodge can track your progress.
Now, is Candace Gertrude Flynn your full legal name? Ugh.
Yes.
Great! You just earned your Honesty Patch! Congratulations! Really? That was easy! C'mon, let me do another! Ooh, I think you just earned your Enthusiasm Patch! Wow! Two down! Yippee! This is easy! Okay.
Ooh, goody, I'm great at word problems.
No.
There's 15 senior citizens that need help crossing the street.
Good luck, Candace.
Don't forget your helmet.
(Song: Go Candace) Senior-service patch: Check.
Go, Candace! Go, go, Candace! Go, Candace! Go, go, Candace! Go, Candace! Go, go, Candace! Go, Candace! Go, go, Candace! Running with the Bulls Patch: check.
And Running with the Bullies Patch: check.
Go, Candace! Go, go, Candace! Go, Candace! Go, go, Candace! Discovering Something That Doesn't Exist Patch: check.
Go! Here you go, Candace.
Wrestling an Alligator in a Sewer Patch.
Alligator, you're goin' down! C'mon, Candace, you can do it! Pin him already! We're running behind! This is really putting us off schedule.
So, let me explain my new evil scheme.
A while back, my doctor put me on a low-carb diet, but I still can't lose those last ten pounds.
Every time I get close to my goal, there's this knocking at the door.
Who is it? Fireside Girls.
Would you like to buy some of our cupcakes? Cupcakes you say? Iâ I-I really shouldn't.
I should get back to my exercise.
I'mâ almost down to my goal.
Oh, we understand.
Have a niceâ Alright, you talked me into it! Thanks! So with my weakness for high-carb sweets, there's really no other choice but to get rid of the bridge to the Fireside cupcake factory.
And my Metal-Destructinator can turn any metal object into broccoli.
I know what you're thinking, why broccoli? But, w-well, y'know, it's healthy.
It's like the opposite of what I'm trying to getâ It'sâ It's poetic justice.
It'sâ Well, it's notâ Not justice, exactâ It'sâ Poetic evil.
It's poetically evil.
Now, to make some last-minute adjustments Wrestling an Alligator in a Sewer Patch Check.
So what's next? We're a bit behind.
You can finish out the rest while you work on your Delivering Cupcakes Patch.
Sounds easy enough.
Well, you have to deliver all these cupcakes.
All these?! No problem.
We've built you a rollercoaster delivery system.
Alright, let's do this.
Siga sentados, por favor.
(Remain seated, please.
) Are you speaking Spaniâ Here are your cupcakes! Bug Collecting Patch: check.
I'm going to hurl! Motion Sickness Patch: Check! The Paisley Sideburn Brothers! Let's hurry! go, Candace! Go, Candace! Go, go, Candace! Go, Candace! Go, go, Candace! Ready to fire.
Ow! Ow! Yeawwo! Oh! Oh! Ow! Ow! Quit it, you annoying little pest! Last one! Woo-hoo! Oh! Wow, that was fun.
Fun? Are you nuts? And how did a rollercoaster turn into broccoli? And why broccoli?! How does that make any sense?! Candace, focus.
You've still got five minutes and it's 20 blocks away.
So, uh Good luck with that.
No, I can do this.
Now that's persistence.
I see the building.
And I still got three minutes! Got it! Out of order?! Okay, stairs.
Step aerobics, don't fail me now! Come back here! Oh, what are you doing down there?! Uh-oh.
Curse you, Perry theâ Coming.
Fireside Girl.
Here's your order of cupcakes.
Aren't you a little old to be a Fireside Girl? Yes.
Yes, I am.
Candace, we are all very impressed.
You earned more patches in one day than anyone in the history of the Fireside Girls.
which pretty much blows away the previous record of 6 patches held by our own Adyson Sweetwater.
Aw, nuts! No, I know I did all 50, and I made sure to plant the markers and everything.
Huh? Looks like I forgot one.
I'll just run back before it's five o'clock.
I'm sorry, Candace.
Y'know, you may not have lit up the entire board, but you did demonstrate remarkable persistence.
You mean I get a persistence patch? And that makes 50, right? There's no Persistence Patch, is there? Nope.
'Fraid not.
Hold on, Isabella.
Little Miss Sassy Mouth here gets a special patch for breakin' the all-time record.
Congratulations, Fireside Girl! And here's your ticket for the Paisley Sideburn Brothers concert.
Let's go! Woo! Yeah! Phineas and Ferb? How did you guys get in? Isabella invited us.
She's allowed to bring guests, you know.
That's what I kept trying to tell you, Candace, but you were so insistent on becoming a Fireside Girl.
Maybe you can start working on your Good Listener Patch next.
C'mon, Candace, you can do it! Pin him already! We're running behind! This is really putting us off schedule.
Ooh! That's gonna leave a mark.
Yes.
On the alligator.