The Proud Family (2001) s02e30 Episode Script

(grunting)
Ye-ah, holler!
When I say Tookie,
you say slam.
Tookie, slam,
Tookie, slam, ha!
Sit down before I slam you,
Proud.
So, who are you
guys meeting
at the Willie T. Ribbs
"Checkered Flag" Dance?
I say Tookie,
you say wow!
Tookie, wow,
Tookie, wow!
I guess we know who the Laker girl
is meeting at the dance.
I’m going with Herbert York.
York the Dork?
He’s not a dork! He is cool.
He’s captain of the Debate Team.
Which makes him
king of the dorks.
Go ahead, Zoe.
You’re dating royalty.
(laughter)
Jab, jab, stick, brother.
So, who are you going with,
LaCienega?
-Michael.
-I didn’t know you liked Michael.
Anybody who can make me a dress
and matching shoes is cool with me.
Hey, LaCienega.
Hey, LaCienega!
I got the material for your dress.
Oh, OK. I’ll be right over.
Isn’t he special?
He may be able to sew,
but he’s not royalty.
And he’s not imaginary,
like your date Sticky.
He’s not imaginary.
Sticky is real.
Hey, Sticky!
Tell everybody
you taking me to the dance!
Hey! Sticky, watch out!
(grunting)
(groans)
Ow, my ankle. Man, I quit.
Oh, come here, Sticky!
I’ll nurse you
back to health.
Dijonay, please.
I’d rather be in pain.
-Hey!
-(laughs)
Boo-yah!
Game over, Omar.
You owe me and Olei
Wizard burgers.
(laughs)
A whole lot of
Wizard burgers.
I’m not going out like that.
Hey, Michael,
you want to play?
Yeah, but it’s not
going to be fair.
(laughs)
You’re telling me.
Let’s do this. I’m hungry.
(warbling laugh)
All right.
OK, Michael, just pass the ball to me.
I’ll do the rest.
You ain’t got no handle,
you ain’t got no handle.
-Come on!
-Yeah!
Let’s go!
What you ’fraid of? Come on.
(roars)
-(laughs)
-(roars)
Michael, give me the ball.
(laughs)
Boo-yah!
Call me "Bus Driver,"
’cause I’m about to take you
to school!
Chump, that was luck.
(laughs) Yeah, bad luck for you
that I’m not on your team.
Yo, Olei, let’s switch up.
Yeah, let’s see what you
can do now, punk.
Give me the rock, Omar.
Coming at you, Michael.
-Oh, yeah-yeah-yeah!
-(warbling laugh)
Yeah! Let’s do that.
Ooh, yeah!
In your face!
Yeah, yeah!
(warbling laugh)
-(cheering)
-When I say Michael, you say slam.
-Michael Michael
-slam! slam!
Dang I can’t believe
we lost to a sissy.
Michael, aren’t you
going to say something?
Who cares?
We won! Whoo-hoo!
The Proud Family ♪
What? You and me
will always be tight ♪
Family, every single day
and night ♪
Even when you start
acting like a fool ♪
You know I’m loving
every single thing you do ♪
I know that I can
always be myself ♪
Around you more
than anybody else ♪
And every day
as I’m heading off to school ♪
You know there’s no one
I love as much as you ♪
Family, a family ♪
Proud Family ♪
They’ll make you scream ♪
-(doorbell rings)
-They make you want to sing ♪
It’s a family thing
a family ♪
Proud, Proud Family ♪
Proud Family ♪
They’ll push your buttons ♪
And make you want
to hug them ♪
Family, a family,
Proud, Proud Family ♪
Yeowch!
(announcer) And with one minute
left of the game
(Oscar)
Post him up!
-Go on now!
-Take it to the hole, dude.
All right, boys.
Suga Mama’s here.
Suga Mama’s always here.
What’s the big deal?
The big deal is
we’re going out.
Going out?
Going out where?
-(Trudy) Remember, Oscar?
-(both) Huh?
I told you
tonight was salsa night.
Yeah, and I said
I like the hot and spicy kind.
Don’t tell me
you’re empty-handed?
No, but you’re
empty-headed.
She’s talking about
salsa dancing, boy.
Salsa dancing?
Come on, Trudy.
You know I can’t dance.
I got two left feet.
Look.
And what’s your story, Felix?
Oh, I don’t need one. See, if
he’s not going, I’m not going.
Come on, Papi.
I know you want
to dance with me.
(speaking Spanish)
(laughs)
Sorry, Suga Mama, but I think
Papi wants to hang out with the fellas.
Oh, forget about them.
We can have fun without ’em.
For once,
I agree with Suga Mama.
Fine, Oscar.
I’m not going to force you
to do something so distasteful
as going out dancing
with your wife.
Thank you, honey.
That’s why I married you.
Ooh!
Come on, ladies. Let’s go.
(Oscar)
Come on. Pass the ball.
Hi, Daddy. Is it OK
for me and my friend
to go up to my room?
Yeah, whatever, whatever.
Your daddy wasn’t a glassmaker.
Now, move out of the way.
Oh, man, don’t shoot that!
Penny, you know I love you,
but this is way too many
red sweaters.
I haven’t seen
this many red coats
since the American revolution.
The British are coming,
the British are coming ♪
Michael, I really don’t need to
talk to you about my wardrobe.
Oh, yes, you do.
Is there anything bothering you?
Yes.
Your lack of style and finesse.
Michael, Tookie called you a sissy
in front of all your friends,
and you didn’t do anything. Why?
And look at all these red shoes!
I don’t care how many times
you click your heels.
You won’t make it back
to Kansas in these, Dorothy.
I’m serious, Michael.
What he said, didn’t it bother you?
It doesn’t matter, Penny.
I already forgot about it.
Besides, I have
a much bigger problem.
Like what?
Like how to get some periwinkle
in your wardrobe.
(salsa music playing)
(laughter)
Well, I guess it’s another
girls’ night out.
I think once you get married,
men forget how to have fun.
(Trudy) Look, there’s nothing
but couples out there.
Forget it.
Let’s just go home.
You’re right.
Oh, slow your roll,
Wilma and Betty.
Macho man at 12 o’clock.
(feet tapping and clapping)
Buenos tardes, senoritas.
I am your host,
Enrique Miguel Fernando
Reinaldo Perez.
Welcome to Las Maracas,
La casa del salsa.
Are you ready to salsa?
Whoo wee!
I just feel so vulnerable.
But first I must check your IDs.
-No one under 18 is allowed.
-(laughter)
Enrique, flattery
will get you everywhere.
(laughs)
You’re more than kind.
So, lady, will your significant other
be accompanying you tonight?
Oh, no.
We left the couch potatoes at home.
We’re flying solo.
That won’t be necessary.
Harpo, Zeppo, ven aqui.
(laughter)
(salsa music plays)
(whistling)
I know you’re going to love this.
(laughter and whistling)
I hand stitched the sequins,
and the top is made out of
hold on to your camisoles, girls
the same material
as the lapels on my suit jacket!
Ooh, you’re all going to be the most
fashionable couple at the dance.
So, what do you think,
LaCienega?
I think I’m canceling my order.
Why? You don’t like the dress?
Well, the dress is great.
It’s just that, well you’re not.
(Zoey) That wasn’t
very nice, LaCienega.
No, it’s OK.
(chuckles)
Maybe next time.
Michael, you’re just going
to take that?
Aren’t you angry?
I can’t make her go.
(Sticky) Yo, Michael,
let me holler at you.
Hey!
LaCienega,
that was mean.
You hurt his feelings.
-Why did you do that?
-(door closing)
(Michael)
Help! Let me out!
-Help!
-That’s why.
-(gasps)
-(laughter)
Help! Help!
(laughter)
That wasn’t funny.
Sure it was. (laughs)
Well, laugh at this, Tookie.
I’m not going with you
to the dance.
(laughter)
Come on, Michael.
You know what bothers
me the most, Penny?
What, Michael?
Just let it out. What bothers you?
That after all my hard work,
no one will ever see
this beautiful dress.
Michael, aren’t you mad?
You’ve been used, abused
and refused.
You’re a chump to let people
dump on you like that.
OK, I’m doing it, too.
Look, if you want,
I’ll wear the dress
to the dance.
Thanks, but
it won’t make the same statement
unless your date is wearing
a matching suit jacket.
Then I guess
I’ll have to go with you.
-Really?
-I’d be honored.
(laughter)
A sissy locker
for a sissy boy.
(laughter)
I know this has
to bother you, Michael.
-You want to talk about it?
-No.
Well, if not me, your parents,
a teacher, a pet, somebody?
There’s nothing
to talk about.
I can’t control what
other people do.
Besides, it’s only magic marker.
Comes right off
with nail polish remover, see?
Got to go. I have to
adjust this dress for you. Bye.
Is it me, or is Michael
not acting like himself?
I would die
if someone teased me like that.
I guess he’s dealing with it
the best way he knows how.
(LaCienega)
Help me, somebody!
-(gasping)
-Help me!
(gasps)
LaCienega!
Somebody help me!
(Zoey)
Oh, LaCienega, what happened?
I was walking by when I saw this monster
coming for me, so I hid in this dumpster.
When you say monster,
you mean the Gross
sisters, right?
No. Bigger, stronger,
and more stylish.
I don’t know about all that, girl,
but you funky.
Well, now I guess you know
how it feels to be trashed.
(laughter)
-(bell rings)
-(Michael) Yoo-hoo, Penny.
Here you go, girl.
I finished making
the alterations on your dress.
-(squealing)
-Ooh, Penny!
You guys are going
to look fly!
The hallway is clear,
Ms. Boulevardez.
You may enter.
Speaking of flies,
I’ll catch y’all later.
Hey, LaCienega,
what’s with the muscle?
He’s my new bodyguard.
You don’t need a bodyguard;
you need a body scrub.
You stink!
(laughter)
Hey, guys, it’s not funny.
Wait till the monster
gets you.
Aw, does little Miss Boulevardez
need some extra attention?
There was a monster.
Come on, LaCienega,
give the monster story a rest.
(rumbling)
-Help! Somebody help!
-What’s that?
It’s coming from that closet.
LaCienega was right!
It’s a three-headed monster!
Sorry, Ms. Boulevardez.
You don’t pay me enough for this.
Hasta la vista, baby.
Relax.
It’s just the Gross sisters.
Hey, look at this.
(Zoey) "Mollycoddle?"
(Penny) "Namby-pamby?"
(Dijonay) "Sop?" "Invertebrate?"
What does all that mean?
Nubia, what happened to y’all?
Girl, this huge monster came
out of nowhere, and he grabbed us.
I mean, we was going to throw
down on him, until
until he grew ten feet taller,
and then he locked us in the closet.
A-ha! I told you
there was a monster.
And it must be a crazy one,
to take on the Gross sisters.
I say we get out of here
before it comes back.
What about the Gross sisters?
Handled.
(buzzing)
(announcer doing play-by-play)
Daddy, where’s the thesaurus?
I know where
a "dino-saurus" is.
We call it Suga Mama. Ha, ha!
I heard that!
(cackling)
What word do you need
to look up, baby girl?
Because your daddy
was a spelling bee championé.
OK, what does "sop" mean?
Oh, that’s an easy one.
It’s when you have a lot of
gravy left over on your plate,
and you mop it up
with a biscuit.
OK what about milquetoast?
Well, you could use that, too.
Your fingers, your tongue;
whatever you got.
Touchdown! Yeah, baby! Ha, ha!
Now step aside.
Daddy’s watching the game.
What’d I miss?
What’d I miss?
Forget it.
Hi, Mama.
Do you know what these
words mean
sop, milquetoast,
mollycoddle?
Yeah.
You described someone
very close to you.
Suga Mama.
-(doorbell rings)
-Penny, I thought we taught you
to look up words that you don’t
understand in the dictionary.
Come on, ladies
vamos a bailar.
Claro que si.
Trudy! Your Spanish is improving.
Among other things, girlfriend.
-(giggling)
-Hey!
(Felix)
Ladies are looking good.
(speaking Spanish)
(laughs maniacally)
Trudy, where do you think you’re going
all dressed up like that?
Tonight is our salsa lesson.
-Why didn’t you ask us to go?
-Because we’re tired of you saying no.
But if we knew you were
going to get dressed like this,
we might have reconsidered.
Now, why would women
dressed like us
go out with guys
dressed like you?
Adios, mu-chumpos.
(cackling)
Oh, and Oscar, my love?
Don’t forget to drop Penny off
at the dance tonight.
Ta ta!
I don’t know about you, Oscar,
but it looks like our wives
have found better men.
Oh, come on, Felix,
who could they find better than us?
(Papi laughs maniacally)
(Oscar)
Penny!
Come on, we’ve got
two marriages to save!
I’ll be ready in a minute.
"Invertebrate: A person lacking
a backbone or strength.
Also see mollycoddle, sop,
namby-pamby sissy?"
All right.
Have a good time, baby girl.
And remember,
I got my eye on you, boy.
(tires squealing)
(laughter)
Yeah, flower boy.
Man, I can’t stand him.
These are for you, Penny.
Thank you.
They’re pretty.
Michael, I need to talk to you
about something.
Do you know anything about
what happened to LaCienega
-and the Gross sisters?
-No, what happened?
Nothing, I-I was
just wondering.
Look, I’ll meet you inside, OK?
I got to go tie my tie.
(laughter)
Hey, Penny girl.
You’re looking so fresh
and so clean in that dress.
-(buzzing)
-Originally, my dress.
Nice flies, LaCienega.
Whatever, Proud.
(all)
Ew!
-Where’s your date, Penny?
-He’s in the bathroom.
Look, guys, I think I know
who’s been scaring everybody.
Hold that thought.
Here comes my date.
(Dijonay)
Dang! Is that York the dork?
Yep. I told you
he was cute.
Don’t be jelly.
I don’t know what
she’s talking about.
I am not jealous.
I got me a man.
-Who?
-(Sticky) Help! Get me out of here!
-Oh, help me! Stop!
-Him.
I’m coming, Sticky!
(Sticky)
Help!
Oh, make it stop,
make it stop!
Sticky,
what are you doing
in the girls’ bathroom?
And how did you
get up there?
That monster
freaked me out so much,
I jumped all the way up here.
(dance music playing)
Will you look at our wives?
Yeah, they can
really dance.
No, no, no.
Look how close they’re dancing.
Even Suga Mama.
Whoa! (laughing)
I’m sorry, gentlemen.
Only dancers are allowed
on the dance floor.
Either you find a dance partner,
or you must leave immediately.
(laughing madly)
Uh, do you have any more like that?
Why, certainly.
Marisol, Minerva ven aqui!
Good idea, Felix.
Wait till our wives see us dancing
with two beautiful
Buenas noches, señores.
(screaming)
You can’t escape us,
pretty men.
Dance with Marisol
and Minerva.
(laughing)
Dance the forbidden dance.
(screaming)
You know, this is fun.
But it would be
a lot more fun if
Trudy
Sunset
if we were
with our husbands?
(both laughing)
(screaming)
Sticky, are you OK, baby?
Are you all right?
Sticky, what happened?
I never seen anything like it.
There was this big, angry, ugly,
well-dressed monster.
And it said it was going
to get us all.
Us? Us who?
-I don’t know.
-I do.
And I know who’s next.
(scratching)
(dance music playing)
(laughing)
Yeah!
(laughing)
(growling)
(humming)
(scratching)
(high-pitched whine)
(gasps)
(screaming)
(glass shattering)
(screaming)
(monster growling)
(screaming)
(growling)
(screaming)
Tookie Thomas, come on down!
(screaming)
I want my mommy!
Michael, stop!
I would if I were Michael,
but I’m not.
Who’s a sissy now?
I am, I am!
I’m a sissy.
Look, I know he hurt you, Michael,
but this is not the answer.
I’m just following your advice.
I’m doing something about
the way people treat me.
Yes, but I said to express
your feelings, not hurt people.
Doing this doesn’t make you
any better than them.
But it makes me feel better.
Look, I know how you feel.
You don’t know how I feel
how it hurts
when people laugh at you,
make you feel different,
like you’re a freak of nature.
You don’t know how
it feels to go home and cry
because people who you thought
were your friends really aren’t.
(normal voice) You don’t know how it feels
to be ridiculed because you’re you.
Well, I’ll tell you, Tookie.
If being a sissy means
you’re a good student,
a sensational designer,
a fabulous basketball player,
who schooled you on the court,
a loyal, caring friend
then I’m cool with it,
’cause that’s who I am.
(murmuring)
And-and that’s what I meant
when I said it.
No disrespect here.
Yeah, Michael.
I mean, I was just going along
with everybody else.
I’m sorry, man.
I’m not mad at you.
You’re not mad
at me, are you?
Yeah, hey, Michael,
I mean, you’re cool
with the Gross Sisters.
Anybody give you grief,
we got your back.
All right, everybody,
break it up. It’s over.
Hey, Michael,
I like what you said, man.
You got heart, dawg.
And by the way,
I like that jacket.
Where can I get one?
Call me.
Way to go, Michael.
So do you feel any better?
Yeah, I do.
I feel great.
I finally stood up
for myself.
You were right, Penny.
That’s all I had to do.
Exactly.
Because it’s not good
to keep things bottled up inside.
Yeah, because you went
straight Candy Man on us.
This next song goes out
to my main man, Michael.
Check it out, y’all, check it out.
-(spooky organ intro)
-Hey, that’s my song!
Michael, would you like to dance?
-(dance beat playing)
-No, thank you. I’m here with Penny.
Go ahead.
I don’t mind.
(laughter)
Ooh-ooh.
(Trudy) Oh, admit it, Oscar,
you were jealous.
I was not jealous of some
polyester-wearing salsa king
down at Los Molochis.
Yes, you were
jealous ♪
Trudy, I hate
to break it to you,
but there’s not a jealous
bone in my body
because I know you
love you some Oscar Proud.
(doorbell ringing)
Now, if you’ll excuse me,
that’s my pizza.
Yeah, I got one pepperoni and pineapple
upside-down pizza for, uh
Mr. Oscar Proud
Oh, Señora Trudy.
This is your house?
¿Como estan ustedes?
Muy bien, Enrique.
Oh, you’re that caballero
from the club last night.
Si. Hola, señor.
I’ll give you a hola
a whole lot of lefts and rights.
Come on, let’s go,
Rique-mon.
El hombre esta loco!
(screaming)
See, I knew
you were jealous.
I’m not jealous; I’m smart.
I just got a free pizza.
Oh, by the way,
stay away from Las Maracas.
Sure, my jealous hubby.
Mmm.