The Real Ghostbusters (1986) s02e30 Episode Script
The Ghostbusters in Paris
1
Ghostbusters! ♪
There's something strange ♪
In the neighborhood ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
There's something weird ♪
And it don't look good ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
Oh, I cannot work
in this kind of heat.
I don't know about you,
my friends,
but it is 2:00,
and I feel like taking a nap.
But there isn't any place
up here to sleep.
What about in there?
In the pavilion?
But it is forbidden
to go in there.
That was the workshop
of Monsieur Eiffel himself.
Well, you make up
your own minds.
I'm going to take
a snooze in here.
Ah, looks like a museum.
What is that machine?
The equipment?
It is still working?
After all these years?
Impossible!
Yes, this stuff
looks serious.
Ah, that's perfect.
Oops.
What was that?
I knew it.
This time, he has done it.
I heard there was valuable
scientific equipment in there.
Don't worry.
I'll come back tomorrow
and replace those lamps.
No one will be the wiser.
Meanwhile, I vote,
we go home, yes?
Oh, look, honey, there is
a man in period costume.
Oh, how exciting!
Oh, yeah.
Excuse me, sir,
would you mind posing for a picture
with my wife?
Of course not.
But make sure
you take me from my crazy side.
And the tower was designed
by French engineer Gustave Eiffel
for the Paris World's Fair of 1889.
It is 980 feet high,
and its lowest section
consists ofHuh?
Hey, you're not him.
What happened to the usual person?
He is
He is unusual person.
The true horrible story, my friends.
We must accept the evidence.
The Eiffel Tower is haunted.
It is a national catastrophe.
Tourists are staying away
in droves.
France is on its knees.
Oh, I beg you, monsieurs,
we will pay anything.
Well, our schedule
is very busy right now.
But I'm sure we can work
something out.
I don't know. Do we have time
to go to France right now?
I have my new satellite dish
to install.
So we'll hire someone.
Ray, there are some things
more important than TV.
Name two.
That's not fair.
There is a whole country
out there, asking,
no, begging for our help.
If we play our cards right,
we got it made.
It could be a fascinating
change to study
some truly alien phenomenon.
Of course, very alien. They're French.
Haven't you heard the man?
Well, OK.
Will our rooms be paid for
as part of this deal?
But, of course. You will
be the guest of my country.
You will stay in the best hotel in Paris.
The best hotel?
The very best,
Monsieur Venkman.
Well then, that's settled.
When do we leave?
I do not understand.
For two days,
we have gone everywhere,
but the Eiffel Tower.
It's all part of our plan.
You can't just bust
into an operation like this
without doing
a little reckon first.
Besides, how hard can it be?
After all, it's nothing but
a little teeny-weeny tower.
Um, this thing is haunted?
Every inch of it, Monsieur.
Because of the emergency,
we've shut off the elevators.
Uh, so, you'll have to walk,
of course.
Walk?
But there must be
thousands of steps.
One thousand seven hundred and ten,
according to the guide.
What are they doing that for?
Well, it is played in honor
of the brave men
who put their lives
at the service of La Belle France.
Lives?
Who said anything about lives?
I salute your courage,
Monsieur Venkman.
I'm sure you'll do
excellent work.
Bonne chance.
Why can't we just
get him to switch the power back on
so we can take the elevator?
Basic emergency procedure.
Never use elevators in cases
of ectoplasmic emanations.
Well, so much for the vacation.
Oh, well, what can they do?
Eat us?
There's something
very strange here.
I can't get a reading.
What's wrong, Egon?
Gentlemen,
we have a problem.
Peter, back up.
Back up, Peter.
Peter, watch theWhoa.
Down is bad, Ray.
Up will do good to me.
Guys, we're running
out of directions.
We'll never make it
past into the next staircase.
Elevator's only
a few yards away.
If we can talk them into
turning the power back on
Ray, did you ever see
Attack of the Zombies?
-No.
-I think you're about to.
It's worth a try.
Monsieur Lucien,
we'll risk the elevator.
Give us back the power.
I hope you know
what you're doing.
All right. You've got power.
Of course, we know
what we're doing.
Who does he think he is?
Now, what do we do?
Let's rush 'em.
Look at that. Very strange.
Definitely. The girders are
absorbing the proton beams.
You know what this could mean?
It means you're gonna get
killed unless you get in here.
Now!
Sure beats walking.
-Yeah. Look up there.
-What?
They're attacking
the switchboard.
One of us has to go up there
and scare them away.
What do you mean up?
The opposite of down.
I'll do it.
I used to be
a construction worker.
OK. Now give me a gun.
All right. Take this.
OK. Got 'em.
Here we are.
The second floor.
Whoa!
How can we cross
a whole platform of that?
We barely made it
the first time.
I have an idea.
Let's reverse the polarity
of the beams
and aim at the tower,
not at the ghosts.
Yes, of course.
That's brilliant. Unless
Unless what?
Educate me on "unless", Ray.
Well, let's just say,
that if we're wrong,
you won't like it.
That's great.
Yes. But it's only temporary.
It'll contain the ghosts inside
for a few minutes, but
But we still have to stop
the ones already free
before they stop us.
OK,
we're at the top floor.
This is it.
This is Eiffel's diary.
All the answers
must be in here.
You gotta find them fast,
'cause we don't have
much time.
You're more right
than you know.
I couldn't be sure till I saw
the equipment ,but now
Gentlemen,
we're standing atop
the largest ghost containment
unit ever built.
And it's getting
ready to explode.
As incredible
as it may seem,
it would appear
that Monsieur Eiffel
had already developed the principles
of modern ectoplasmic entrapment
by the late 1880s.
You mean the guy
was a Ghostbuster?
Yes.
He built this tower
as a primitive,
but efficient type
of ghost containment unit.
The ghosts are automatically
attracted to and trapped
within the tower's
very structure.
Wow! That's what caused it
to absorb our particle beams.
I was right.
This is fascinating.
What a wonderful opportunity.
Yeah. Aren't we all just
having a wonderful time.
So, what we have here
is some kind of leak.
How do we plug it?
Until it was broken,
this box was the control
from molecularly bonding
the ghosts to the tower.
When it was damaged,
the tower became psionicly porous.
And the most aggressive
ghosts could escape.
How much time do we have
before the molecular degeneration
becomes irreversible?
Yeah. How much time
before the,
whatever goes and we're all blown back
to Schenectady.
The tower will explode
in about
Twelve hours.
How many ghosts do you think
there are in this tower?
Given France's history,
contrasting with ghosts per capita,
a few million.
OK, boys.
We don't have any time
to lose.
We gotta fix the
what-you-ma-call-it,
and we gotta fix it fast.
Can we get it
to a repair shop?
Can we get out of here? Period.
Easy. We'll attach one of our
reverse polarity packs to the system.
And it'll temporarily
pull the ghosts back into the tower.
Egon, can you
Already doing it, Ray.
Five, four, three, two, one.
Now!
It worked.
Not a ghost in sight.
Then I would suggest we hurry.
The power in this pack
won't last forever.
Theoretically, this mechanism
shouldn't work at all.
But it does.
We have to see
more of Eiffel's notes.
But, Monsieur Stanz,
they are all right here.
Excuse me, but that is not quite correct,
Monsieur Lucien.
There are two other locations
in Paris,
where Monsieur Eiffel's
private papers are stored.
Perhaps there is something
useful among these.
Then let's get the show
on the road.
Right, Egon?
Good. I'll stay here and try to make sense
of the control box.
The Louvre!
I never thought I'd have
to visit it at night.
Oh. I wish I had time
to see the Mona Lisa.
Uh, Monsieur Stantz,
we have been expecting you.
Please follow us.
Wow! This is what
I call a museum.
Our collection of Egyptian antiques
is one of the best in the world.
What?
Monsieur Stantz!
Oh, no.
Whoa.
Eat this.
Right up the scale.
Boy, this is exciting.
Maybe too exciting.
Monsieur Stantz,
behind you.
Criminy!
This is the museum?
It's a chamber of horrors.
Oh, well.
All bad things must
come to an end.
Let's get those papers.
So this is Notre-Dame!
Monsieur Zeddemore.
Excuse me, brother.
I was too busy admiring
your cathedral.
It is beautiful,
is it not?
It's four times as old
as America, you know.
Up here is where we keep
valuable papers donated to the church.
I have already located what you
-Whoa!
-What's wrong?
Shoot! They got here first.
They still want more.
Come back here.
Where the heck
are they gone now?
All right.
I think we've got it
this time.
We don't have any time
to lose.
Haven't they finished
connecting the auxiliary power line
from the tower's generator yet?
Uh, I guess they will soon.
OK, so, let's boogie.
We better connect that box fast.
I don't like the look of this.
We are doomed.
The ghosts will escape.
The tower will explode.
Poof!
Calm down. We're on TV.
Wait a minute.
Television. That's it.
No way.
If I have to sit through
one more French commercial
No. No.
Lucien, the tower has
some of the most
powerful broadcast antennas
in France, right?
Oui. But I confess
I don't understand.
If I'm right,
all of our problems are solved.
Can you patch me through to New York?
Ghostbusters.
Janine, it's me, Ray.
Quick. Has the workman
already set up the satellite dish?
He'll be gone in five minutes. Why?
Fantastic, Janine.
Now this is what you're gonna do.
All of France is depending on you.
All set. The packs have hooked
upto Eiffel's machine
and tuned to 20,000 megahertz.
Station GHOST is ready to broadcast.
OK. Let her rip.
What a fantastic idea,
Monsieur Stantz!
Beam impulse that goes
across the globe by satellite,
directly into your
own containment unit.
Worth all the money you paid.
Huh, Monsieur Lucien?
What do you mean,
the money is all gone?
You mean to tell me all the money
we got from the French
went to the Skuzzo Cable Company?
Well, we did have to pay off
their customers.
Instead of seeing
Pussycats on Parade,
what they got was five hours
of cursing French ghosts.
You can't blame them
for suing.
I suppose.
OK, now that we've got
all these channels, what's on?
A Bogart movie would be nice.
We've got basketball,
baseball, soccer, cricket,
tennis, football, jai alai.
No Bogart?
No Spencer Tracy?
Hockey, horse-racing,
wrestling, boxing.
Why do I bother asking?
Why?
Ghostbusters! ♪
There's something strange ♪
In the neighborhood ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
There's something weird ♪
And it don't look good ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
Oh, I cannot work
in this kind of heat.
I don't know about you,
my friends,
but it is 2:00,
and I feel like taking a nap.
But there isn't any place
up here to sleep.
What about in there?
In the pavilion?
But it is forbidden
to go in there.
That was the workshop
of Monsieur Eiffel himself.
Well, you make up
your own minds.
I'm going to take
a snooze in here.
Ah, looks like a museum.
What is that machine?
The equipment?
It is still working?
After all these years?
Impossible!
Yes, this stuff
looks serious.
Ah, that's perfect.
Oops.
What was that?
I knew it.
This time, he has done it.
I heard there was valuable
scientific equipment in there.
Don't worry.
I'll come back tomorrow
and replace those lamps.
No one will be the wiser.
Meanwhile, I vote,
we go home, yes?
Oh, look, honey, there is
a man in period costume.
Oh, how exciting!
Oh, yeah.
Excuse me, sir,
would you mind posing for a picture
with my wife?
Of course not.
But make sure
you take me from my crazy side.
And the tower was designed
by French engineer Gustave Eiffel
for the Paris World's Fair of 1889.
It is 980 feet high,
and its lowest section
consists ofHuh?
Hey, you're not him.
What happened to the usual person?
He is
He is unusual person.
The true horrible story, my friends.
We must accept the evidence.
The Eiffel Tower is haunted.
It is a national catastrophe.
Tourists are staying away
in droves.
France is on its knees.
Oh, I beg you, monsieurs,
we will pay anything.
Well, our schedule
is very busy right now.
But I'm sure we can work
something out.
I don't know. Do we have time
to go to France right now?
I have my new satellite dish
to install.
So we'll hire someone.
Ray, there are some things
more important than TV.
Name two.
That's not fair.
There is a whole country
out there, asking,
no, begging for our help.
If we play our cards right,
we got it made.
It could be a fascinating
change to study
some truly alien phenomenon.
Of course, very alien. They're French.
Haven't you heard the man?
Well, OK.
Will our rooms be paid for
as part of this deal?
But, of course. You will
be the guest of my country.
You will stay in the best hotel in Paris.
The best hotel?
The very best,
Monsieur Venkman.
Well then, that's settled.
When do we leave?
I do not understand.
For two days,
we have gone everywhere,
but the Eiffel Tower.
It's all part of our plan.
You can't just bust
into an operation like this
without doing
a little reckon first.
Besides, how hard can it be?
After all, it's nothing but
a little teeny-weeny tower.
Um, this thing is haunted?
Every inch of it, Monsieur.
Because of the emergency,
we've shut off the elevators.
Uh, so, you'll have to walk,
of course.
Walk?
But there must be
thousands of steps.
One thousand seven hundred and ten,
according to the guide.
What are they doing that for?
Well, it is played in honor
of the brave men
who put their lives
at the service of La Belle France.
Lives?
Who said anything about lives?
I salute your courage,
Monsieur Venkman.
I'm sure you'll do
excellent work.
Bonne chance.
Why can't we just
get him to switch the power back on
so we can take the elevator?
Basic emergency procedure.
Never use elevators in cases
of ectoplasmic emanations.
Well, so much for the vacation.
Oh, well, what can they do?
Eat us?
There's something
very strange here.
I can't get a reading.
What's wrong, Egon?
Gentlemen,
we have a problem.
Peter, back up.
Back up, Peter.
Peter, watch theWhoa.
Down is bad, Ray.
Up will do good to me.
Guys, we're running
out of directions.
We'll never make it
past into the next staircase.
Elevator's only
a few yards away.
If we can talk them into
turning the power back on
Ray, did you ever see
Attack of the Zombies?
-No.
-I think you're about to.
It's worth a try.
Monsieur Lucien,
we'll risk the elevator.
Give us back the power.
I hope you know
what you're doing.
All right. You've got power.
Of course, we know
what we're doing.
Who does he think he is?
Now, what do we do?
Let's rush 'em.
Look at that. Very strange.
Definitely. The girders are
absorbing the proton beams.
You know what this could mean?
It means you're gonna get
killed unless you get in here.
Now!
Sure beats walking.
-Yeah. Look up there.
-What?
They're attacking
the switchboard.
One of us has to go up there
and scare them away.
What do you mean up?
The opposite of down.
I'll do it.
I used to be
a construction worker.
OK. Now give me a gun.
All right. Take this.
OK. Got 'em.
Here we are.
The second floor.
Whoa!
How can we cross
a whole platform of that?
We barely made it
the first time.
I have an idea.
Let's reverse the polarity
of the beams
and aim at the tower,
not at the ghosts.
Yes, of course.
That's brilliant. Unless
Unless what?
Educate me on "unless", Ray.
Well, let's just say,
that if we're wrong,
you won't like it.
That's great.
Yes. But it's only temporary.
It'll contain the ghosts inside
for a few minutes, but
But we still have to stop
the ones already free
before they stop us.
OK,
we're at the top floor.
This is it.
This is Eiffel's diary.
All the answers
must be in here.
You gotta find them fast,
'cause we don't have
much time.
You're more right
than you know.
I couldn't be sure till I saw
the equipment ,but now
Gentlemen,
we're standing atop
the largest ghost containment
unit ever built.
And it's getting
ready to explode.
As incredible
as it may seem,
it would appear
that Monsieur Eiffel
had already developed the principles
of modern ectoplasmic entrapment
by the late 1880s.
You mean the guy
was a Ghostbuster?
Yes.
He built this tower
as a primitive,
but efficient type
of ghost containment unit.
The ghosts are automatically
attracted to and trapped
within the tower's
very structure.
Wow! That's what caused it
to absorb our particle beams.
I was right.
This is fascinating.
What a wonderful opportunity.
Yeah. Aren't we all just
having a wonderful time.
So, what we have here
is some kind of leak.
How do we plug it?
Until it was broken,
this box was the control
from molecularly bonding
the ghosts to the tower.
When it was damaged,
the tower became psionicly porous.
And the most aggressive
ghosts could escape.
How much time do we have
before the molecular degeneration
becomes irreversible?
Yeah. How much time
before the,
whatever goes and we're all blown back
to Schenectady.
The tower will explode
in about
Twelve hours.
How many ghosts do you think
there are in this tower?
Given France's history,
contrasting with ghosts per capita,
a few million.
OK, boys.
We don't have any time
to lose.
We gotta fix the
what-you-ma-call-it,
and we gotta fix it fast.
Can we get it
to a repair shop?
Can we get out of here? Period.
Easy. We'll attach one of our
reverse polarity packs to the system.
And it'll temporarily
pull the ghosts back into the tower.
Egon, can you
Already doing it, Ray.
Five, four, three, two, one.
Now!
It worked.
Not a ghost in sight.
Then I would suggest we hurry.
The power in this pack
won't last forever.
Theoretically, this mechanism
shouldn't work at all.
But it does.
We have to see
more of Eiffel's notes.
But, Monsieur Stanz,
they are all right here.
Excuse me, but that is not quite correct,
Monsieur Lucien.
There are two other locations
in Paris,
where Monsieur Eiffel's
private papers are stored.
Perhaps there is something
useful among these.
Then let's get the show
on the road.
Right, Egon?
Good. I'll stay here and try to make sense
of the control box.
The Louvre!
I never thought I'd have
to visit it at night.
Oh. I wish I had time
to see the Mona Lisa.
Uh, Monsieur Stantz,
we have been expecting you.
Please follow us.
Wow! This is what
I call a museum.
Our collection of Egyptian antiques
is one of the best in the world.
What?
Monsieur Stantz!
Oh, no.
Whoa.
Eat this.
Right up the scale.
Boy, this is exciting.
Maybe too exciting.
Monsieur Stantz,
behind you.
Criminy!
This is the museum?
It's a chamber of horrors.
Oh, well.
All bad things must
come to an end.
Let's get those papers.
So this is Notre-Dame!
Monsieur Zeddemore.
Excuse me, brother.
I was too busy admiring
your cathedral.
It is beautiful,
is it not?
It's four times as old
as America, you know.
Up here is where we keep
valuable papers donated to the church.
I have already located what you
-Whoa!
-What's wrong?
Shoot! They got here first.
They still want more.
Come back here.
Where the heck
are they gone now?
All right.
I think we've got it
this time.
We don't have any time
to lose.
Haven't they finished
connecting the auxiliary power line
from the tower's generator yet?
Uh, I guess they will soon.
OK, so, let's boogie.
We better connect that box fast.
I don't like the look of this.
We are doomed.
The ghosts will escape.
The tower will explode.
Poof!
Calm down. We're on TV.
Wait a minute.
Television. That's it.
No way.
If I have to sit through
one more French commercial
No. No.
Lucien, the tower has
some of the most
powerful broadcast antennas
in France, right?
Oui. But I confess
I don't understand.
If I'm right,
all of our problems are solved.
Can you patch me through to New York?
Ghostbusters.
Janine, it's me, Ray.
Quick. Has the workman
already set up the satellite dish?
He'll be gone in five minutes. Why?
Fantastic, Janine.
Now this is what you're gonna do.
All of France is depending on you.
All set. The packs have hooked
upto Eiffel's machine
and tuned to 20,000 megahertz.
Station GHOST is ready to broadcast.
OK. Let her rip.
What a fantastic idea,
Monsieur Stantz!
Beam impulse that goes
across the globe by satellite,
directly into your
own containment unit.
Worth all the money you paid.
Huh, Monsieur Lucien?
What do you mean,
the money is all gone?
You mean to tell me all the money
we got from the French
went to the Skuzzo Cable Company?
Well, we did have to pay off
their customers.
Instead of seeing
Pussycats on Parade,
what they got was five hours
of cursing French ghosts.
You can't blame them
for suing.
I suppose.
OK, now that we've got
all these channels, what's on?
A Bogart movie would be nice.
We've got basketball,
baseball, soccer, cricket,
tennis, football, jai alai.
No Bogart?
No Spencer Tracy?
Hockey, horse-racing,
wrestling, boxing.
Why do I bother asking?
Why?