Gintama (2005) s02e31 Episode Script
When Someone Who Wears Glasses Takes Them Off, It Looks Like Something's Missing
Kyubei Yagyu took Otae away.
In an effort to rescue her, the Odd Jobs trio, led by Shinpachi, and three of the Shinsengumi, led by Kondo, challenged the Yagyu clan.
But, the Four Aces of the Yagyu clan and their leader, Kyubei Yagyu, stand in their way.
In order to take Otae back, they must take on the Yagyu in a six-on-six game of survival.
Otae-san.
Sandpaper.
Young Lord.
Sandpaper.
Otae-san.
Sandpaper.
.
Young Lord.
Sandpaper.
My duty is to protect the Young Lord and further his ambitions.
I have done a very disrespectful thing to lead you to victory, Young Lord In the end, I was weak.
But the next time No, I could never usethe sandpaper.
Otae-sanI'm sorry I came this far to see your smiling face, but But this is as far as I got.
I am sucha fool [Kondo and Tojo were eliminated after a fierce battle.
All that remains is a showdown between Gintoki and Binbokusai.
.]
[Meanwhile, as Hijikata battles Kyubei Yagyu, a certain suspicion lingers.
.]
How'd we end up like this? How did we end up like this? Jeez I never should've come here.
To be honest, I wasn't really up for coming in the first place.
But the others said, let's go, so I didn't want to be a party pooper, but I got caught up in the heat of the moment.
I'm such a fool.
Same here.
Truth is, Kyubei insisted that I be the captain, so I had no choice.
[Note: Binbokusai is an avid junk collector.
People's large junk collections is an actual problem in Japan.
.]
Recently, the bureaucrats have been making sinister attempts to try and tear down my trash mansion.
They're my real enemies.
This is ridiculous! It's never wise to get swept up in other people's ideals, is it? Frankly, I don't give a hoot who those youngsters marry.
Have it their way.
Who cares if the baby came first, or if they get divorced after the honeymoon? Hey, more importantly, are you sure you don't have any paper? Nothing.
Nothing that even sounds like paper.
How about you? [Secrets of the Yagyu Chingkage Style.]
Nope.
Nothing that even resembles paper.
Don't you cheat, now.
Seriously, if you do find paper, share it, okay? Naturally.
Don't you go cheating either.
[Note: This is a pun because the words for "god" and "paper" are homonyms in Japanese.
.]
Swear to god.
You swear it too.
If you break it, you have to kill yourself.
You'll have to kill yourself too.
If you don't, I get to flick your forehead ten times.
Are you wiping? It sounds like it.
You have paper, don't you? I told you, I don't have any.
Friends shouldn't doubt each other.
Is that a wiping sound I hear? You have paper, don't you? No, I don't.
But what about you? I keep telling you I don't have any!! ["When Someone Who Wears Glasses Takes Them Off, It Looks Like Something's Missing".]
You're panting.
Letting your opponent see you breathing hard is a sign of weakness! Are you mocking me? But you're not only breathing hard.
There's hesitation in your strikes.
Do you think you can win against me like that? What're you playing at? What am I playing at? Give me a break! I should ask you the same thing.
If my intuition is correct No, it's not an intuition The very first time we crossed swords, something didn't seem right.
Now, I'm positive If I'm rightthen what is this fight really about? Don't hesitate.
Regardless of who the opponent is I fight to kill my enemy! Quit jumping around, old man! I'm trying to get a clean shot at your plate.
You're going to get hurt if you keep moving.
You see things pretty clearly with those dead-fish eyes.
Is that your own sword style? There she is! Cut her off.
Stop! Stop! I won't let your run amuck anymore! Shin-chan?! Shin-chan, let go of me! Quiet! I'm never ever going to listen to anything you say again! You came here to be a bride without telling me anything! That gives me the right to take you back the same way! Otae-sama, wait! Otae-sama! Otae-sama! Otae-sama, wait! Over here, you! This old guy's a freak! Shin-chan I apologize for not saying anything to you.
But don't do this.
If you pull any more crazy stunts against the Yagyu, you'll get hurt.
And besidesI've already made up my mind.
That's not fair, Sis.
You always show your smiling face, but you never show your true feelings.
Even when it hurts or you feel like crying, you force yourself to smile.
You never tell anyone how you feel.
You keep it to yourself, make up your mind by yourself and leave by yourself with a smile on your face.
Stop putting up a front! If something is troubling you, please tell us! I won't let you say that I'm alone in this! Everyone came here because we saw the sadness in your face.
They'd die before admitting it, but they're doing all this for you.
Please remember, we are here for you.
None of us can stand it when you're unhappy.
This is none of their business.
I never asked them to come here.
Just leave me alone already.
I dare you to say that again, dammit! I'll say it as many times as you want! I I wish I could stay with all of you forever too! But, I can't I have to be Kyu-chan's left eye! Left eye? Sis, what do you mean? Otae-chan, are you still hung up about that? Hijikata-san Shinpachi-kun.
You may not know this, but when I was young, I lost my left eye.
Otae-chan happened to be there.
I told her not to feel responsible.
On the contrary, I'm actually grateful.
Because that incident made me the person I am today.
In exchange for my left eye, I gained strength.
Shinpachi-kun, how many in your team are left? No, it doesn't matter how many are left.
If I defeat you, their captain, it's all over.
I will have your precious sister.
Have her? Don't talk nonsense! Hey, four-eyes.
We've all been duped.
This whole thing is a farce.
He'sa woman.
Awoman? Kyubei-san's a woman? What's going on?! I mean she's got what you don't, and missing what you've got.
Buthe says he's going to marry Sis That can't be! No way.
Could it be? Do you think Sis is a man?! She is kind of flat-chested, but Of course not! Kyu-chan has the body of a woman, but the heart of a man.
He can only love women.
They say anyone who interferes with love deserves to be kicked to death by a horse.
It's not nice to interfere with a couple who've vowed to become husband and wife.
Husband and wife? Don't make me laugh, old man.
Your Young Lord is actually your Young Princess, right? I'm surprised.
You knew? You can fool the others, but you can't fool my crotch sensor.
My sensor went bad a long time ago.
The other day, it responded to a slipper.
I felt like killing myself.
Just what I'd expect of the powerful Yagyu.
It makes no difference if it's a slipper or a woman.
Are you planning to put the entire Yagyu clan up to the task of wedding two women? That's bullshit! Do you really think anyone will accept that?! Sis! Why didn't you say something all this time?! You knew, didn't you? Or you knew and you were still willing to marry Kyubei? It's totally our fault she grew up that way.
For generations, it is tradition for the reigns of the Yagyu clan to be passed to a male heir.
However, my son Koshinori's wife died shortly after giving birth the Kyubei.
There were suggestions from the clan that he find a new wife, but Koshinori never agreed.
If he had and his new wife bore a child, Kyubei would've lost her position in the Yagyu clan.
My son and I thought of ways to help her.
You call yourself a boy? You call yourself a samurai?! ButI'm a girl You're not a girl! Except to a very select few in the Yagyu clan, You're a boy! A boy! we kept the fact that Kyubei was a girl a secret and raised her as a boy.
But Father Not "Father"! Call me "Papa"! Of course, we had no intention of actually turning her into a real man.
[Become strong, Kyubei!.]
[You're a boy!.]
But in order for Kyubei to take over the Yagyu clan, she needed to be strong.
[The Yagyu clan is on your shoulders!.]
[You call yourself a samurai?!.]
[Kyubei, become stronger!.]
[Boys don't cry!.]
[Don't think of yourself as a girl!.]
[Call me Papa!.]
[Gramps is against it!.]
[Quiet!.]
[Don't act so spoiled!.]
[I told you not to bring home junk!.]
Sissy! Girly boy! This wuss is always crying.
Do you really have a ding-dong? Let's take off his hakama and check! At first, it may've been nothing more than admiration.
She was a girl, just like me, but she was so strong.
So what if you're small.
If you're shorter than everyone else, you should become a samurai who has a bigger heart than everyone else.
Then, Tae-chan If I become a strong samurai with a big heart, will you be the balls between my legs? That's impossible.
Kyu-chan, you're a samurai, but you don't have any balls between your legs.
They'll grow in.
Grandpa said so.
They won't grow in.
But a kind of shrubbery will.
I'll go to Morocco to grow some! If you grow some, let me see them, okay? She's a very strong girl But eventually I realized She was hiding something behind her smile.
Damn kid! Shin-chan! You're one smart-aleck kid who can't pay back the money you borrowed.
What do you say? Shall I sell you off to another planet? Earthling kids learn new skills quickly, so we could sell him for a good price.
Stop it! Don't touch my brother! Shut up! The two of you have no I wanted to protect her.
Kyu-chan Kyu-chanare you all right? Tae-chan Ican never become a man, no matter what I do.
But I'll become stronger than any man or woman, for you, Otae-chan and I'll protect you, I promise.
Forgive me, Kyu-chan I'm so sorry I will be your left eye.
We're attracted to each other by something that transcends gender-something more pure.
I will keep the promise I made long ago.
I am the one who should be by Otae-chan's side.
Otae-chan said it didn't bother her, but she probably felt she owed him.
That can't be helped.
Kyubei needs Otae-chan, and Otae-chan wants to support Kyubei.
They may both be women, but they do share a kind of love.
You cannot defeat me because you're crippled by your own definitions of gender.
Take this man.
He lost his edge the moment he realized I was a woman.
How can someone so weak-spirited protect what's important to him? They say the path of love is a rocky one, but the path those two tread is strewn with boulders.
We're the ones who set them on that path.
It's our job to see it through to the end.
Don't go mouthing off selfishexcuses!! "She was hiding something behind her smile"?! If you knew that why can't you see she's hiding something from you right now?! A kind of love? Don't go saying such sick things without even trying to understand how the other person feels! "An attraction that transcends gender," you say?! I don't give a damn, you fool! Someone who makes his or her beloved cry isn't a man or a woman!! It's called a jerk!! Idiot! That's why I hate guys who can't get girls! Right, Gin-san? Absolutely, Shinpachi-kun.
I won't let you sully the name of the Yagyu clan any further! Get them! Outta my way!! I won't let you interfere with a duel between two mener, a man and a womanbetween samurai! I, Isao Gorilla, will not allow it! Kondo-san! Boss, I can only last five minutes max on one leg.
So please hurry it up! Why am I your horse?! Big Sis, men are unreliable, so I came to help! China girl! Don't steal my thunder! There are only four of them! What's the problem?! I can't see Shinpachi! Open your eyes! Easy for you to say I want to go back I want to go back to everyone.
Don't move! Gin-san! Funny isn't it, Shinpachi-kun? To think that you're the one holding back your team.
You must've knownthat in the end, someone was going to rescue you.
That's why you took on a fight you had no chance of winning.
You've always been like that.
You've always hidden behind others-protected.
But you never try to understand the feelings of the people who are protecting you.
Do you know why Tae-chan developed that fake smile? It's because you are weak! If I had been by Tae-chan's side, this would never have happened! Gin-san I'm the only one who can protect her.
Don't talk as if you know.
What do you know about this guy?! I don't want to hear someone like you bad-mouthingmy friend! Shinpachi! Your captain is finished.
It's over.
Old man.
Your grandchild doesn't seem to realize that people have been protecting her, her whole life.
Where's your wooden sword? Uh-oh Where could it have gone? Kyubei?! AhhI finally found them.
Shinpachi.
You can see clearly now, right? What you're fighting to protect? What's important? I can see just fine now! [The next episode.]
[The final showdown.]
"A Woman's Best Make Up is Her Smile.
" [Who will emerge victorious? Will Otae marry, and leave everyone?.]
[Will Kondo and Princess Bubbles be wed? Next time: the climax of the Yagyu Arc!.]
In an effort to rescue her, the Odd Jobs trio, led by Shinpachi, and three of the Shinsengumi, led by Kondo, challenged the Yagyu clan.
But, the Four Aces of the Yagyu clan and their leader, Kyubei Yagyu, stand in their way.
In order to take Otae back, they must take on the Yagyu in a six-on-six game of survival.
Otae-san.
Sandpaper.
Young Lord.
Sandpaper.
Otae-san.
Sandpaper.
.
Young Lord.
Sandpaper.
My duty is to protect the Young Lord and further his ambitions.
I have done a very disrespectful thing to lead you to victory, Young Lord In the end, I was weak.
But the next time No, I could never usethe sandpaper.
Otae-sanI'm sorry I came this far to see your smiling face, but But this is as far as I got.
I am sucha fool [Kondo and Tojo were eliminated after a fierce battle.
All that remains is a showdown between Gintoki and Binbokusai.
.]
[Meanwhile, as Hijikata battles Kyubei Yagyu, a certain suspicion lingers.
.]
How'd we end up like this? How did we end up like this? Jeez I never should've come here.
To be honest, I wasn't really up for coming in the first place.
But the others said, let's go, so I didn't want to be a party pooper, but I got caught up in the heat of the moment.
I'm such a fool.
Same here.
Truth is, Kyubei insisted that I be the captain, so I had no choice.
[Note: Binbokusai is an avid junk collector.
People's large junk collections is an actual problem in Japan.
.]
Recently, the bureaucrats have been making sinister attempts to try and tear down my trash mansion.
They're my real enemies.
This is ridiculous! It's never wise to get swept up in other people's ideals, is it? Frankly, I don't give a hoot who those youngsters marry.
Have it their way.
Who cares if the baby came first, or if they get divorced after the honeymoon? Hey, more importantly, are you sure you don't have any paper? Nothing.
Nothing that even sounds like paper.
How about you? [Secrets of the Yagyu Chingkage Style.]
Nope.
Nothing that even resembles paper.
Don't you cheat, now.
Seriously, if you do find paper, share it, okay? Naturally.
Don't you go cheating either.
[Note: This is a pun because the words for "god" and "paper" are homonyms in Japanese.
.]
Swear to god.
You swear it too.
If you break it, you have to kill yourself.
You'll have to kill yourself too.
If you don't, I get to flick your forehead ten times.
Are you wiping? It sounds like it.
You have paper, don't you? I told you, I don't have any.
Friends shouldn't doubt each other.
Is that a wiping sound I hear? You have paper, don't you? No, I don't.
But what about you? I keep telling you I don't have any!! ["When Someone Who Wears Glasses Takes Them Off, It Looks Like Something's Missing".]
You're panting.
Letting your opponent see you breathing hard is a sign of weakness! Are you mocking me? But you're not only breathing hard.
There's hesitation in your strikes.
Do you think you can win against me like that? What're you playing at? What am I playing at? Give me a break! I should ask you the same thing.
If my intuition is correct No, it's not an intuition The very first time we crossed swords, something didn't seem right.
Now, I'm positive If I'm rightthen what is this fight really about? Don't hesitate.
Regardless of who the opponent is I fight to kill my enemy! Quit jumping around, old man! I'm trying to get a clean shot at your plate.
You're going to get hurt if you keep moving.
You see things pretty clearly with those dead-fish eyes.
Is that your own sword style? There she is! Cut her off.
Stop! Stop! I won't let your run amuck anymore! Shin-chan?! Shin-chan, let go of me! Quiet! I'm never ever going to listen to anything you say again! You came here to be a bride without telling me anything! That gives me the right to take you back the same way! Otae-sama, wait! Otae-sama! Otae-sama! Otae-sama, wait! Over here, you! This old guy's a freak! Shin-chan I apologize for not saying anything to you.
But don't do this.
If you pull any more crazy stunts against the Yagyu, you'll get hurt.
And besidesI've already made up my mind.
That's not fair, Sis.
You always show your smiling face, but you never show your true feelings.
Even when it hurts or you feel like crying, you force yourself to smile.
You never tell anyone how you feel.
You keep it to yourself, make up your mind by yourself and leave by yourself with a smile on your face.
Stop putting up a front! If something is troubling you, please tell us! I won't let you say that I'm alone in this! Everyone came here because we saw the sadness in your face.
They'd die before admitting it, but they're doing all this for you.
Please remember, we are here for you.
None of us can stand it when you're unhappy.
This is none of their business.
I never asked them to come here.
Just leave me alone already.
I dare you to say that again, dammit! I'll say it as many times as you want! I I wish I could stay with all of you forever too! But, I can't I have to be Kyu-chan's left eye! Left eye? Sis, what do you mean? Otae-chan, are you still hung up about that? Hijikata-san Shinpachi-kun.
You may not know this, but when I was young, I lost my left eye.
Otae-chan happened to be there.
I told her not to feel responsible.
On the contrary, I'm actually grateful.
Because that incident made me the person I am today.
In exchange for my left eye, I gained strength.
Shinpachi-kun, how many in your team are left? No, it doesn't matter how many are left.
If I defeat you, their captain, it's all over.
I will have your precious sister.
Have her? Don't talk nonsense! Hey, four-eyes.
We've all been duped.
This whole thing is a farce.
He'sa woman.
Awoman? Kyubei-san's a woman? What's going on?! I mean she's got what you don't, and missing what you've got.
Buthe says he's going to marry Sis That can't be! No way.
Could it be? Do you think Sis is a man?! She is kind of flat-chested, but Of course not! Kyu-chan has the body of a woman, but the heart of a man.
He can only love women.
They say anyone who interferes with love deserves to be kicked to death by a horse.
It's not nice to interfere with a couple who've vowed to become husband and wife.
Husband and wife? Don't make me laugh, old man.
Your Young Lord is actually your Young Princess, right? I'm surprised.
You knew? You can fool the others, but you can't fool my crotch sensor.
My sensor went bad a long time ago.
The other day, it responded to a slipper.
I felt like killing myself.
Just what I'd expect of the powerful Yagyu.
It makes no difference if it's a slipper or a woman.
Are you planning to put the entire Yagyu clan up to the task of wedding two women? That's bullshit! Do you really think anyone will accept that?! Sis! Why didn't you say something all this time?! You knew, didn't you? Or you knew and you were still willing to marry Kyubei? It's totally our fault she grew up that way.
For generations, it is tradition for the reigns of the Yagyu clan to be passed to a male heir.
However, my son Koshinori's wife died shortly after giving birth the Kyubei.
There were suggestions from the clan that he find a new wife, but Koshinori never agreed.
If he had and his new wife bore a child, Kyubei would've lost her position in the Yagyu clan.
My son and I thought of ways to help her.
You call yourself a boy? You call yourself a samurai?! ButI'm a girl You're not a girl! Except to a very select few in the Yagyu clan, You're a boy! A boy! we kept the fact that Kyubei was a girl a secret and raised her as a boy.
But Father Not "Father"! Call me "Papa"! Of course, we had no intention of actually turning her into a real man.
[Become strong, Kyubei!.]
[You're a boy!.]
But in order for Kyubei to take over the Yagyu clan, she needed to be strong.
[The Yagyu clan is on your shoulders!.]
[You call yourself a samurai?!.]
[Kyubei, become stronger!.]
[Boys don't cry!.]
[Don't think of yourself as a girl!.]
[Call me Papa!.]
[Gramps is against it!.]
[Quiet!.]
[Don't act so spoiled!.]
[I told you not to bring home junk!.]
Sissy! Girly boy! This wuss is always crying.
Do you really have a ding-dong? Let's take off his hakama and check! At first, it may've been nothing more than admiration.
She was a girl, just like me, but she was so strong.
So what if you're small.
If you're shorter than everyone else, you should become a samurai who has a bigger heart than everyone else.
Then, Tae-chan If I become a strong samurai with a big heart, will you be the balls between my legs? That's impossible.
Kyu-chan, you're a samurai, but you don't have any balls between your legs.
They'll grow in.
Grandpa said so.
They won't grow in.
But a kind of shrubbery will.
I'll go to Morocco to grow some! If you grow some, let me see them, okay? She's a very strong girl But eventually I realized She was hiding something behind her smile.
Damn kid! Shin-chan! You're one smart-aleck kid who can't pay back the money you borrowed.
What do you say? Shall I sell you off to another planet? Earthling kids learn new skills quickly, so we could sell him for a good price.
Stop it! Don't touch my brother! Shut up! The two of you have no I wanted to protect her.
Kyu-chan Kyu-chanare you all right? Tae-chan Ican never become a man, no matter what I do.
But I'll become stronger than any man or woman, for you, Otae-chan and I'll protect you, I promise.
Forgive me, Kyu-chan I'm so sorry I will be your left eye.
We're attracted to each other by something that transcends gender-something more pure.
I will keep the promise I made long ago.
I am the one who should be by Otae-chan's side.
Otae-chan said it didn't bother her, but she probably felt she owed him.
That can't be helped.
Kyubei needs Otae-chan, and Otae-chan wants to support Kyubei.
They may both be women, but they do share a kind of love.
You cannot defeat me because you're crippled by your own definitions of gender.
Take this man.
He lost his edge the moment he realized I was a woman.
How can someone so weak-spirited protect what's important to him? They say the path of love is a rocky one, but the path those two tread is strewn with boulders.
We're the ones who set them on that path.
It's our job to see it through to the end.
Don't go mouthing off selfishexcuses!! "She was hiding something behind her smile"?! If you knew that why can't you see she's hiding something from you right now?! A kind of love? Don't go saying such sick things without even trying to understand how the other person feels! "An attraction that transcends gender," you say?! I don't give a damn, you fool! Someone who makes his or her beloved cry isn't a man or a woman!! It's called a jerk!! Idiot! That's why I hate guys who can't get girls! Right, Gin-san? Absolutely, Shinpachi-kun.
I won't let you sully the name of the Yagyu clan any further! Get them! Outta my way!! I won't let you interfere with a duel between two mener, a man and a womanbetween samurai! I, Isao Gorilla, will not allow it! Kondo-san! Boss, I can only last five minutes max on one leg.
So please hurry it up! Why am I your horse?! Big Sis, men are unreliable, so I came to help! China girl! Don't steal my thunder! There are only four of them! What's the problem?! I can't see Shinpachi! Open your eyes! Easy for you to say I want to go back I want to go back to everyone.
Don't move! Gin-san! Funny isn't it, Shinpachi-kun? To think that you're the one holding back your team.
You must've knownthat in the end, someone was going to rescue you.
That's why you took on a fight you had no chance of winning.
You've always been like that.
You've always hidden behind others-protected.
But you never try to understand the feelings of the people who are protecting you.
Do you know why Tae-chan developed that fake smile? It's because you are weak! If I had been by Tae-chan's side, this would never have happened! Gin-san I'm the only one who can protect her.
Don't talk as if you know.
What do you know about this guy?! I don't want to hear someone like you bad-mouthingmy friend! Shinpachi! Your captain is finished.
It's over.
Old man.
Your grandchild doesn't seem to realize that people have been protecting her, her whole life.
Where's your wooden sword? Uh-oh Where could it have gone? Kyubei?! AhhI finally found them.
Shinpachi.
You can see clearly now, right? What you're fighting to protect? What's important? I can see just fine now! [The next episode.]
[The final showdown.]
"A Woman's Best Make Up is Her Smile.
" [Who will emerge victorious? Will Otae marry, and leave everyone?.]
[Will Kondo and Princess Bubbles be wed? Next time: the climax of the Yagyu Arc!.]