Gintama (2005) s02e32 Episode Script
A Woman's Best Make-up Is Her Smile
I want to go back I want to go back to everyone.
Shinpachi! Your captain is finished.
It's over.
Old man.
Your grandchild doesn't seem to realize that People have been protecting her, her whole life.
Where's your wooden sword? Uh-oh Where could it have gone? Kyubei?! AhhI finally found them.
Shinpachi.
You can see clearly now, right? What you're fighting to protect? What's important? I can see just fine now! [It's the final chapter of the Yagyu Arc! The long battle (with a one-episode break) finally comes to a conclusion!.]
[Do you remember the rule that whoever breaks the opposing captain's plate wins?.]
["A Woman's Best Make Up is Her Smile".]
Tsk, I let my guard down and he got me.
If this fight drags on, the difference in our skill levels will become obvious.
I have to finish this match right now! Will I get Shinpachi-kun first? Or will you get Grandfather first? You think you can beat the lightning speed of my sword?! No! He's not after me! He's after That leaves an opening to go after the captain! The most dangerous opponent is you! What?! Shinpachi! Got it! You read Kyubei's intentions in the blink of an eye, and not only did you break his plate, but you grabbed both swords as well.
Outstanding.
But as I told you before- you can't win this battle carrying a burden like him on your shoulders.
It's not that simple! Looking after that kid to the very end is what made you lose.
Why were you so determined to do that?! End it, Shinpachi.
Sorry, I lost.
We! Won! Shinpachi! Don't be so big-headed, dammit! It was mostly thanks to Gin-chan that you won! That's my brother-in-law for you! You're the only one I can entrust the Shinsengumi to! Who're you calling your bother-in-law?! I don't give a damn about the Shinsengumi! [Note: Okita now has to fight Hijikata AND Shinpachi for the vice-chief position.
.]
I've made another rival.
Impossible! How could the Young Lord and Binbokusai-sama lose? Damn you all! What're you waiting for?! That game meant nothing from the very beginning! Forget about that and slay those scoundrels! Don't let them sully our celebrity pedigree any further! Koshinori, that's enough.
We lost.
Back down.
Kyubei made them a promise himself.
Return Otae-chan without a fight.
Papa! I was against two women from the very start Don't say any more.
I know we told her to become a man, but! Don't say any more.
I'm sorry, Kyubei.
But this may have turned out for the best.
Man, woman I'm not going to hold it against you.
But I think he knew why you tried to be his left eye.
And you knew, too.
Going to him while shouldering that burden wasn't going to solve anything.
You both knew that doing something like this wasn't going to make anyone happy.
I'msorry You don't have to apologize.
Nobody does.
Everyone was simply trying to protect what was important to them.
That's all this was.
Forgive me II will be your left eye, Kyu-chan.
I should have known.
Kyubei! To survive in this Yagyu clan, you have to become strong! I should have known.
Everyone was simply trying to protect what was important to them.
That's all this was.
What that man said is right.
I knew it all along.
My selfishness shackled you with a heavy burden.
I knew what you were feeling, but pretended to ignore it, all because I wanted you near me.
Yet you still tried to protect me by saying you'd become my left eye I also knew that Father and Grandfather were trying to protect me by raising me as a boy.
But somewhere inside of me, I resented them for it.
They made me into someone who is neither man nor woman No one else is to blame for my becoming like this It's my fault for being weak.
Yet everyone tried to protect me to the very end.
As it turned out, everyone was protecting me-nothing had changed.
I couldn't keep any of my promises.
I'mweak.
Tae-chan Tae-chan Why did things turn out this way? When did it start? I wanted to play house and cat's cradle with everyone else.
I wanted to wear a pretty kimono and walk around town like everyone else.
I wanted to become like you, Tae-chan A strong girl with a kind heart.
Kyu-chan You are Kyu-chan.
It doesn't matter if you're a boy or a girl.
You're my precious and dear friend.
Sodon't cry And you call yourself asamurai Tae-chan.
I'm sorry I'm so sorry But today, it's okay to cry.
After all, you are a girl.
Welcome! Who is this mummy?! Don't come near me! Go away evil spirit! Hijikata-san, who would you like? I see.
They all couldn't come I caused so much trouble, so I wanted to make it up to them.
I'm sorry about what happened to you, too, Hijikata-san.
Because of meyou look like a mummy.
I didn't do it for you.
I went to fight, and came out a mummy, that's all.
I'mas low as it gets, aren't I? As it turns out, I did a selfish thingand hurt everyone.
I caused trouble for Kyu-chan and everyone else.
I did those things with half-hearted feelings, and wasn't even able to go through with it in the end.
What I did didn't help anyone.
You're not Buddha.
You think you can bring salvation to everyone you meet? There are people you can save and others you can't save no matter how hard you try.
Is the way you live your life so fragile that you'd break just because of that? Right now, if there was someone you could save with that half-hearted sort of kindness you just talked about What would you do? Thank you all for your patience.
The bride and groom will now make their entrance! Gin-san.
How do people end up in situations like this? This is just one step away from a shitty marriage meeting.
Boss, this isn't something to laugh about.
No, I'm not laughing.
I can't.
This is the first time I've felt like crying at another man's wedding.
Isn't there anything we can do? This reception is simply a formality to introduce the couple.
Later, they'll go to the Princess's planet.
Once the formal wedding is done, Kondo-san will become one of the gorillas.
He's not coming back.
Tonight is our only chance to ruin the match.
Did you say ruin, Okita-kun? This reception's been ruined from the start.
There's nothing but gorillas here.
Not even I can ruin something that's been ruined from the start.
Nothing but gorillas.
That's cruel, Boss.
After all is said and done, the Shinsengumi did play a role in rescuing Mistress.
Do this and we'll call it even.
This is Kondo.
Respond, over.
What're you guys waiting for?! Hurry up and ruin this reception! Over.
This is what you're good at! I didn't invite you guys just for the banquet! Over.
What banquet? There's nothing but bananas! Don't treat us like fools! Over.
We Shinsengumi can't do anything violent this time.
Old man Matsudaira is behind this marriage.
If we go against him, the Shinsengumi will be finished! That's why you outsiders are the only ones I can ask.
Over.
Where are these from? Over.
Huh? I'm asking where these bananas are from.
Over.
Never mind the bananas! You like those bananas, don't you?! Over.
Bananas are the king of fruits.
Over.
Don't "over" me! You don't need to report such things! Over.
Hey, I have to pee.
Where's the john? Over.
Ask someone near you! Over.
Boss, I'll show you.
Follow me.
Over.
What's the point of doing that over the transceiver?! You're just talking amongst yourselves! Over.
I'm doomed! They have no intention of rescuing me! Over.
Will the bride and groom please step forward? We have kept you all in suspense long enough.
We will now have the couple do their first ceremony together as husband and wife.
Whaaat?! Just a min Whaaa?! Isn't it usually the cutting of the cake?! Or the banana?! No, no, no, no.
Something's wrong here.
It's definitely something that's done together, but not this! Pops, what's going on?! Kondo, this is a Planet Shojo wedding tradition to show respect for the prosperity of their offspring.
Show them you're a man.
What's with that thumbs up?! You want me to do it?! Is that what you want?! Somebody, break that thumb! You've got to be kidding! This isn't some perverted video shoot! I'm not Kato! I'm not a hawk, I'm a sparrow! [Note: Refers to male porn actor Taka Kato.
Taka means "hawk" in Japanese.
.]
That's what I am! Even worse, everyone's watching! Until a minute ago, they were enamored over their bananas, but now they want to watch my banana?! Shinpachi-kun, help me! I'm taking the rest home with me.
Forget the Tupperware! You don't have to take bananas home! How domestic can you get?! Otae-san.
I wanted to see your smiling face one last time.
I got some on my left hand.
Over.
I dribbled a little outside.
Over.
Boss, how has Mistress been? She's been a bit down.
Women are troublesome because they're so difficult to figure out.
If things end like this, Kondo-san's efforts will have been for nothing.
He worked so hard just to see her smile.
Don't worry about it.
The thing about women is they get depressed on their own and they get over it on their own.
That's not what I meant.
If Kondo-san ends up going to the planet of the apes, he'll have nothing at all.
Boss, isn't there anything we can do? You don't have to worry about it with that woman.
She'll make it up to him.
Otae-saaan! Sis! Mistress! Finally! She's finally made up her mind to be the Chief's wife! The gorillas! Oh shoot! Let's go, guys! The Shinsengumi can't lose to the likes of gorillas! We'll decide who our Chief's bride is going to be! Protect the Chief and Mistress's path to love! Guys Kondo! Why didn't you tell me you were in love with someone?! This old man did something he shouldn't have! Be happy! Pops All you guys Everyone I want to go back I want to go back to everyone.
Otae-san.
You bastards! What the hell are you doing with my hu Hu-Husband?! Her man?! So what's the bottom line? How does Mistress really feel about Kondo-san? You guys don't understand women at all, do you? She loves him.
Playing hard to get is a sign of love.
She loves him, all right.
What kind of sick show were you going to expose my brother to?! Sis! Big Sis! Mistress! At least tell us your name.
It's merely a gesture of my goodwill.
But this is such a large gift I want to do it.
I caused quite a lot of trouble And besides I finally saw what I wanted to see.
This is where it was, after all.
[A Minute with 9th Grade Class Z Ginpachi Sensei.]
A minute with Ginpachi Sensei! Today, I have some news for everyone.
Onishi-kun, who studied with us for a year-and-a-half here at GinTama High School, is transferring to the prestigious One Piece High School.
He insists that it was because of his father's job and not because the academic standards are higher at the other school.
It's unfortunate, after we all got to know each other.
But remember you will all still be friends even if you're separated.
So, Onishi, stand out in hallway one last time.
[The next episode.]
Subject: Poopy.
I'm in deep poop! Deep, deep poopy! Real deep.
How deep? I'm talking deep.
What the hell is this?! The next episode "You Say Kawaii so Often, You Must Really Think You're Cute Stuff.
" [And in the episode after that, the Odd Jobs becomes warriors?! "You Don't Stand in Line for the Ramen, You Stand in Line for the Self Satisfaction.
".]
[(Administrative Notice) We have sad news to report.
Please wait until further notice.
.]
Shinpachi! Your captain is finished.
It's over.
Old man.
Your grandchild doesn't seem to realize that People have been protecting her, her whole life.
Where's your wooden sword? Uh-oh Where could it have gone? Kyubei?! AhhI finally found them.
Shinpachi.
You can see clearly now, right? What you're fighting to protect? What's important? I can see just fine now! [It's the final chapter of the Yagyu Arc! The long battle (with a one-episode break) finally comes to a conclusion!.]
[Do you remember the rule that whoever breaks the opposing captain's plate wins?.]
["A Woman's Best Make Up is Her Smile".]
Tsk, I let my guard down and he got me.
If this fight drags on, the difference in our skill levels will become obvious.
I have to finish this match right now! Will I get Shinpachi-kun first? Or will you get Grandfather first? You think you can beat the lightning speed of my sword?! No! He's not after me! He's after That leaves an opening to go after the captain! The most dangerous opponent is you! What?! Shinpachi! Got it! You read Kyubei's intentions in the blink of an eye, and not only did you break his plate, but you grabbed both swords as well.
Outstanding.
But as I told you before- you can't win this battle carrying a burden like him on your shoulders.
It's not that simple! Looking after that kid to the very end is what made you lose.
Why were you so determined to do that?! End it, Shinpachi.
Sorry, I lost.
We! Won! Shinpachi! Don't be so big-headed, dammit! It was mostly thanks to Gin-chan that you won! That's my brother-in-law for you! You're the only one I can entrust the Shinsengumi to! Who're you calling your bother-in-law?! I don't give a damn about the Shinsengumi! [Note: Okita now has to fight Hijikata AND Shinpachi for the vice-chief position.
.]
I've made another rival.
Impossible! How could the Young Lord and Binbokusai-sama lose? Damn you all! What're you waiting for?! That game meant nothing from the very beginning! Forget about that and slay those scoundrels! Don't let them sully our celebrity pedigree any further! Koshinori, that's enough.
We lost.
Back down.
Kyubei made them a promise himself.
Return Otae-chan without a fight.
Papa! I was against two women from the very start Don't say any more.
I know we told her to become a man, but! Don't say any more.
I'm sorry, Kyubei.
But this may have turned out for the best.
Man, woman I'm not going to hold it against you.
But I think he knew why you tried to be his left eye.
And you knew, too.
Going to him while shouldering that burden wasn't going to solve anything.
You both knew that doing something like this wasn't going to make anyone happy.
I'msorry You don't have to apologize.
Nobody does.
Everyone was simply trying to protect what was important to them.
That's all this was.
Forgive me II will be your left eye, Kyu-chan.
I should have known.
Kyubei! To survive in this Yagyu clan, you have to become strong! I should have known.
Everyone was simply trying to protect what was important to them.
That's all this was.
What that man said is right.
I knew it all along.
My selfishness shackled you with a heavy burden.
I knew what you were feeling, but pretended to ignore it, all because I wanted you near me.
Yet you still tried to protect me by saying you'd become my left eye I also knew that Father and Grandfather were trying to protect me by raising me as a boy.
But somewhere inside of me, I resented them for it.
They made me into someone who is neither man nor woman No one else is to blame for my becoming like this It's my fault for being weak.
Yet everyone tried to protect me to the very end.
As it turned out, everyone was protecting me-nothing had changed.
I couldn't keep any of my promises.
I'mweak.
Tae-chan Tae-chan Why did things turn out this way? When did it start? I wanted to play house and cat's cradle with everyone else.
I wanted to wear a pretty kimono and walk around town like everyone else.
I wanted to become like you, Tae-chan A strong girl with a kind heart.
Kyu-chan You are Kyu-chan.
It doesn't matter if you're a boy or a girl.
You're my precious and dear friend.
Sodon't cry And you call yourself asamurai Tae-chan.
I'm sorry I'm so sorry But today, it's okay to cry.
After all, you are a girl.
Welcome! Who is this mummy?! Don't come near me! Go away evil spirit! Hijikata-san, who would you like? I see.
They all couldn't come I caused so much trouble, so I wanted to make it up to them.
I'm sorry about what happened to you, too, Hijikata-san.
Because of meyou look like a mummy.
I didn't do it for you.
I went to fight, and came out a mummy, that's all.
I'mas low as it gets, aren't I? As it turns out, I did a selfish thingand hurt everyone.
I caused trouble for Kyu-chan and everyone else.
I did those things with half-hearted feelings, and wasn't even able to go through with it in the end.
What I did didn't help anyone.
You're not Buddha.
You think you can bring salvation to everyone you meet? There are people you can save and others you can't save no matter how hard you try.
Is the way you live your life so fragile that you'd break just because of that? Right now, if there was someone you could save with that half-hearted sort of kindness you just talked about What would you do? Thank you all for your patience.
The bride and groom will now make their entrance! Gin-san.
How do people end up in situations like this? This is just one step away from a shitty marriage meeting.
Boss, this isn't something to laugh about.
No, I'm not laughing.
I can't.
This is the first time I've felt like crying at another man's wedding.
Isn't there anything we can do? This reception is simply a formality to introduce the couple.
Later, they'll go to the Princess's planet.
Once the formal wedding is done, Kondo-san will become one of the gorillas.
He's not coming back.
Tonight is our only chance to ruin the match.
Did you say ruin, Okita-kun? This reception's been ruined from the start.
There's nothing but gorillas here.
Not even I can ruin something that's been ruined from the start.
Nothing but gorillas.
That's cruel, Boss.
After all is said and done, the Shinsengumi did play a role in rescuing Mistress.
Do this and we'll call it even.
This is Kondo.
Respond, over.
What're you guys waiting for?! Hurry up and ruin this reception! Over.
This is what you're good at! I didn't invite you guys just for the banquet! Over.
What banquet? There's nothing but bananas! Don't treat us like fools! Over.
We Shinsengumi can't do anything violent this time.
Old man Matsudaira is behind this marriage.
If we go against him, the Shinsengumi will be finished! That's why you outsiders are the only ones I can ask.
Over.
Where are these from? Over.
Huh? I'm asking where these bananas are from.
Over.
Never mind the bananas! You like those bananas, don't you?! Over.
Bananas are the king of fruits.
Over.
Don't "over" me! You don't need to report such things! Over.
Hey, I have to pee.
Where's the john? Over.
Ask someone near you! Over.
Boss, I'll show you.
Follow me.
Over.
What's the point of doing that over the transceiver?! You're just talking amongst yourselves! Over.
I'm doomed! They have no intention of rescuing me! Over.
Will the bride and groom please step forward? We have kept you all in suspense long enough.
We will now have the couple do their first ceremony together as husband and wife.
Whaaat?! Just a min Whaaa?! Isn't it usually the cutting of the cake?! Or the banana?! No, no, no, no.
Something's wrong here.
It's definitely something that's done together, but not this! Pops, what's going on?! Kondo, this is a Planet Shojo wedding tradition to show respect for the prosperity of their offspring.
Show them you're a man.
What's with that thumbs up?! You want me to do it?! Is that what you want?! Somebody, break that thumb! You've got to be kidding! This isn't some perverted video shoot! I'm not Kato! I'm not a hawk, I'm a sparrow! [Note: Refers to male porn actor Taka Kato.
Taka means "hawk" in Japanese.
.]
That's what I am! Even worse, everyone's watching! Until a minute ago, they were enamored over their bananas, but now they want to watch my banana?! Shinpachi-kun, help me! I'm taking the rest home with me.
Forget the Tupperware! You don't have to take bananas home! How domestic can you get?! Otae-san.
I wanted to see your smiling face one last time.
I got some on my left hand.
Over.
I dribbled a little outside.
Over.
Boss, how has Mistress been? She's been a bit down.
Women are troublesome because they're so difficult to figure out.
If things end like this, Kondo-san's efforts will have been for nothing.
He worked so hard just to see her smile.
Don't worry about it.
The thing about women is they get depressed on their own and they get over it on their own.
That's not what I meant.
If Kondo-san ends up going to the planet of the apes, he'll have nothing at all.
Boss, isn't there anything we can do? You don't have to worry about it with that woman.
She'll make it up to him.
Otae-saaan! Sis! Mistress! Finally! She's finally made up her mind to be the Chief's wife! The gorillas! Oh shoot! Let's go, guys! The Shinsengumi can't lose to the likes of gorillas! We'll decide who our Chief's bride is going to be! Protect the Chief and Mistress's path to love! Guys Kondo! Why didn't you tell me you were in love with someone?! This old man did something he shouldn't have! Be happy! Pops All you guys Everyone I want to go back I want to go back to everyone.
Otae-san.
You bastards! What the hell are you doing with my hu Hu-Husband?! Her man?! So what's the bottom line? How does Mistress really feel about Kondo-san? You guys don't understand women at all, do you? She loves him.
Playing hard to get is a sign of love.
She loves him, all right.
What kind of sick show were you going to expose my brother to?! Sis! Big Sis! Mistress! At least tell us your name.
It's merely a gesture of my goodwill.
But this is such a large gift I want to do it.
I caused quite a lot of trouble And besides I finally saw what I wanted to see.
This is where it was, after all.
[A Minute with 9th Grade Class Z Ginpachi Sensei.]
A minute with Ginpachi Sensei! Today, I have some news for everyone.
Onishi-kun, who studied with us for a year-and-a-half here at GinTama High School, is transferring to the prestigious One Piece High School.
He insists that it was because of his father's job and not because the academic standards are higher at the other school.
It's unfortunate, after we all got to know each other.
But remember you will all still be friends even if you're separated.
So, Onishi, stand out in hallway one last time.
[The next episode.]
Subject: Poopy.
I'm in deep poop! Deep, deep poopy! Real deep.
How deep? I'm talking deep.
What the hell is this?! The next episode "You Say Kawaii so Often, You Must Really Think You're Cute Stuff.
" [And in the episode after that, the Odd Jobs becomes warriors?! "You Don't Stand in Line for the Ramen, You Stand in Line for the Self Satisfaction.
".]
[(Administrative Notice) We have sad news to report.
Please wait until further notice.
.]