Phineas and Ferb s02e32 Episode Script

by ashirogi27 Oh, cool! Old records! Lindana.
Now that's a blast from the past.
I wonder where she is now Probably singing at retirement homes.
Oh, give me that.
Hey, you look familiar.
Hey Dad, what are these? Oh wow, those are my old black and white detective movies.
Do you mind if we watch them? Not at all, boys, the projector's inside.
Great, come on, Ferb.
Oh, I see you like that little doll.
Well, let's see That'll cost you, uh Fifty cents? I'll give you a dollar.
She rolled into my office like a fog bank.
Mysterious and cold.
My instincts told me this dame was nothing but trouble.
But trouble's my middle name.
Well, not really.
My middle name is "Trumble".
Sounds a lot like trouble.
Wow.
This detective stuff's great.
She had something she needed to say.
She spoke with the voice of an angel Phineas! Where's the box that was in my room?! Well, Dad was taking boxes out to the yard sale Dad, Dad, wait! Dad, is that the box from my room? Well, yes Uh I think I put my little Mary McGuffin doll in there by mistake.
Have you seen her? I just sold her for a whole dollar.
Here, you can have it.
How about two dollars? Doofenshmirtz's Ex-Wife's House on a Hill Somewhere! Dad? What are you doing here? This isn't your weekend.
Yes, yes, I know, but I– I have a surprise for you and I just couldn't wait! A surprise? Really? Yes, it's something you've always wanted.
Something you've asked for time and time again.
In my hand, I hold the key to My new car! No, your happiness! Remember how you said if I got you a little Mary McGufffin doll, I'd be the world's greatest dad? Yeah, when I was like, seven.
At long last, I have found one! I have been scouring the Internet and– And garage sales, trying to find the discontinued doll.
Wow, I can't believe you remembered I wanted this.
Remembered?! I never stop looking! Really? You know, I may be an evil scientist, but it doesn't take a degree purchased from the Internet with your ex-wife's money, to know how special and important you are to me.
That's so sweet.
Well, I'd better run.
I bought a used -inator today at the garage sale, and it's missing one small part.
Really? What does it do? I don't know yet, it's missing a part.
But, whatever it is, I'm sure it will be pure evil! Well, at least you're non-evil.
It was a dull, hot day in Danville, and she swept into the room like a cool, tropical depression.
I could tell by the way she walked, she had something on her mind.
Either that, or she was chaffing from the heat.
What's going on here? Her voice flowed soft and smooth, like butter on toast.
And why are you talking like that? She was observant.
Maybe too observant.
Why is everything black and white in here? We painted everything like an old detective movie.
What about you guys? Detective makeup.
Detectives? Perfect! I know what you're gonna do today! Track down my little Mary McGuffin.
Piece of cake.
Ooh, chocolate.
Thanks, Ferb.
We'll have your little Mary McGuffin back here faster than you can say, "Hey, where's Perry?" Sir, Agent P is here.
I can see that, Carl.
Now get back in that corner until I tell you, you can get up.
Still fifteen minutes left on the timer.
Okay, Sir.
Agent P, we– We just found out that Doofenshmirtz is scouring the Tri-State Area for some sort of on-off device.
A switch, Sir.
Right, we think it might be a switch, but, we don't know what it's for so, we need your help.
Good luck, Agent P.
The sun beat down on the city like a hammer, a relentless hot beating hammer, hammering down like a big metaphor that was Hot, for some reason.
Stop with the narration and start finding my doll! We decided to investigate the scene of the crime.
We talked to a Lawrence Fletcher, a tall gaunt looking average Joe who Sorry.
Is that my old black and white saxophone? We thought the investigation could use a little ambiance.
Oh, delightful.
How can I help? We need you to tell us everything you can about the man who bought the doll.
Well, let me see He had some kind of a German accent, and ooh! He was also wearing a lab coat.
A lab coat, huh? Ferb? For an average Joe, he gave us an above average clue.
Our next step was clear.
Who is he talking to? Oh, don't get me started.
(Song: Not So Bad A Dad) You were a sub-standard dad But the only one I had I grew up hearing your evil scheming down the hall But when I look at this thing It makes me wanna sing Maybe you're not so bad a dad after all At my first ever swim meet You stepped on the other team's feet At my recital you clapped louder than you should But when you taught me how to drive We actually made it home alive I guess it's possible not every part of you isn't good I know at times I would cringe Like when you wore all that fringe And when you went out of your way to catch that foul ball But this piece of plastic in my hand Makes me finally understand Maybe you're not so bad a dad Not so bad a dad after all Vanessa, Charitable Charities is here.
Do you have your box ready? Yeah Mom, it's next to my bookshelf.
Oops, looks like something fell out.
Here you go.
Aww, thanks Char.
I'll pick you up at eight.
See you then, Sam.
We figured the best place to find a man in a lab coat was at the Lab Coat Emporium.
We interviewed several suspects.
Well, yes I was at a garage sale, but as you can see, I don't have an accent.
Yeah, I have an accent, but I have not been to a garage sale.
Whoa! Hey kid, slow down.
I can't answer all these questions.
Well that wasn't very productive.
Was it? We decided to have a talk with the owner.
What do you know about a man in a lab coat with a German accent, frequents garage sales? Oh, that guy.
I don't know anything about that guy.
Alright Ferb, lean on him.
Alright, alright, I'll talk.
Okay, there's this guy.
He comes in every week for a lab coat.
He has me put everything on his ex-wife's tab.
See, her address is on the bill.
Hm.
I do see.
Well, thanks a lot for your help.
You can wrap it up, Ferb.
Can I take this makeup off now? I can't believe how lucky I was at that garage sale.
Someone's personal collection of on-off switches.
Score! Hmm Looks like this one doesn't fit, more where that came from.
Nope.
How 'bout this? Come on.
Papa needs a band new -inator.
Oh! What the– Perry the Platypus, are you making your own keys now? Oh, you like all the stuff I got at the garage sale, huh? Want to know what else I got? This lobster trap! Yeah Uh Anyway, sorry I can't tell you my evil scheme, because– I-I don't know what this does yet.
I-I'm still looking for an on-off switch.
Life was much simpler when I worked as a lawn gnome.
Mom! Yes, dear? Have you seen my little Mary McGuffin doll? Could it be the one I just put in the box for Charitable Charities? Oh no, Dad gave that to me.
Well, I'm sorry I didn't know.
But I think the truck is still out there.
Wait! Sam! I want to retain a portion of my mother's charitable donation! Excuse me, ma'am.
We'd like to ask you a few questions.
Are you with the census? No, ma'am, today we're detectives.
Aren't you a little young to be detectives? If it's all the same to you ma'am, we'll ask the questions.
Oh, ho-ho, okay.
Come on in.
Would you kids like some apple juice? That would be nice, ma'am.
Alright lady, what do you know about the little Mary McGuffin doll? You too? Well, like I told my daughter, I just gave it to charity.
And? Well Nothing, that's it.
The Charitable Charities truck just left.
They have a few locations around town, so I'm not sure which one they're going to.
Alright Ferb, pack it up.
We've got some charities to visit.
But I think we're going to need to update our approach.
We checked out act of the charitable charities in Danville, using every cop persona we could think of.
In every case, it seemed we had the wrong location.
Aren't you a little young to know about all these old detective shows? Yes.
Yes, we are.
YEAH! Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! Oh, man, how many different kinds of on-off switches can there be? I mean, look– Look at this.
An octagon? And one shaped like the Statue of Liberty? That doesn't even make sense.
Oh, and here's one.
The exact same size and shape that I'm looking for except it's upside-down.
I mean, the words are actually printed upside-down.
What kind of a dummkopf would invent an upside-down Switch That Hmm.
I did it! Time to find out what this bad boy can do! On.
Off.
On! Off! On! Off! On! Ugh, I'm hearing a clanking noise, so I know it's doing something.
Oh, the -inator and the cage, they're– Connected.
It just, opens and closes the– Well, I guess that's why I got the cage for free.
Hey, I was talking! Take that! And that! Hey, let's see if you can take a couple of hits, from the 70's! Ah, that takes me back.
Hey, where'd you go? Yow! Is that a shark's head? Are you trying to make me cry? Wait-wait-wait! Hold on one second here, just a second.
It occurs to me that all this machine does is open and close a lobster cage, so– You know, it's not even evil, much less illegal.
Besides, I've run out of clever fighting puns so– Curse you, Perry the Platypus.
There she is! My little Mary McGuffin doll! I'm sorry, but this is my doll.
No, it ended up here by mistake, and it's my doll.
You might think it's your doll, but it's not.
I'm going to have to ask you to please, let go! You, please let go.
You, let go! Give it back! This is exactly why they took that doll off the market.
You give it back! Oh! Oh! Give it back! Give it back! Look! She's perfect, and I just love her.
Oh, forget it.
I guess I'm too old for dolls anyway.
Yeah, maybe I don't really have to have the one object my dad spent years to find in order to show me his affection.
No, actually I do.
Give me that, kid! So you just took it from the little girl and left her there crying? Wow, that is evil! Honey, I am so proud of you! It felt good didn't it? Yeah, we can build on this.
Not so bad a dad after all You were a sub-standard dad But the only one I had I grew up hearing your evil scheming down the hall But this piece of plastic in my hand Makes me finally understand Maybe you're not so bad a dad Not so bad a dad after all