Bunnicula (2016) s02e33 Episode Script

1
[theme music playing]
[laughing]
[announcer] Tired of cooking vegetables
the old-fashioned way,
like some sort of dumb-dumb?
Try the new Vegetable Heat Blaster 5000.
It'll cook the perfect vegetables
in seconds.
Plus it's made out of the same metal
that astronauts use.
Real space stuff.
Buy now!
All right, the manual says
two minutes for the perfect crisp.
[gasps] Oh, no, it burned the vegetables.
Talk about Swiss charred.
Why do I always believe these commercials?
[groans] Three easy payments of 19.99
down the drain.
Oh, well.
One Mina's trash
is another Harold's treasure!
Oh. That Vegetable Heat Blaster 5000
really seals in the flavor.
-Here, Bunn, have some.
-Ha-ha.
No, no, no. Don't eat that.
We have no idea
what a burnt vegetable will do to you.
-[slurps]
-[yells] Duck for cover!
[laughs]
[whimpers] Huh?
Well, [sighs]
guess that doesn't look too bad.
[chuckles]
You're made of metal.
That's pretty cool.
[cackling]
I bet when the Vegetable Heat Blaster 5000
burnt the vegetables,
the iron in the Swiss Chard
was somehow carbonized--
[both] Boring!
Well, excuse me for finding the science
of the situation interesting.
-Huh?
-Hey, what did you do that for?
You must be magnetized.
Metallic and magnetic?
Wow.
Sorry, it slipped.
Sorry, won't happen again.
-I am so sorry.
-[laughs]
Bunnicula is so much better like this.
He's just made of metal.
-How is that better?
-How is he better?
[laughs] I'll tell you how he's better.
[Harold] You try and try,
but you just can't open a can of milk
with your old utensils
without making a mess.
Introducing the new
Bunn-E-Matic Handy Tool 2.0.
Where did you even get that footage?
I didn't think anyone saw me.
He opens cans in a snap.
Slices onions so fast
you won't have a chance to cry.
[sobbing]
Juliennes potatoes in a jiff.
[chuckles] Whatever "Julienne" means.
But that's not all.
Bunn-E-Matic 2.0 is magnetic.
I am so sorry.
Have an important date,
you can't find your keys?
Thanks, Bunn. Plus, he's made out
of the same space-age metal
that the astronauts use.
Real space stuff.
Order now. Operators are standing by.
[phone ringing]
Call within the next 15 minutes
and receive a free egg timer.
Limit one Bunn-E-Matic per household.
Keep out of direct sunlight.
Shipping and handling not included.
Avoid water, may rust. Call now!
And you can spell things on it
with magnets.
That's how he's better than ever.
[Lugosi] Better than ever?
Blasphemy! Lies!
Master can't be better. He's perfect.
-Lugosi?
-Lugosi?
Lugosi?
[gasps] What is this
master-shaped atrocity?
Uh, are you talking about Bunnicula?
This cannot be the master.
Uh, I don't know.
[sniffing]
You don't smell like master.
You don't feel like master.
[shrieks] You don't even taste
like master.
This imposter's obviously
destroyed the master and replaced him.
[wailing]
My poor sweet master.
I shall avenge you!
But first, I shall require
a new, powerful master,
and together we shall destroy
the imposter.
[cackling]
Smoke bomb!
[grunting]
Lugosi, what are you doing?
Silence, stinky cat.
I'm taking a new master.
Oh, I'm honored.
You can't take Harold.
Alas, the dog is too heavy.
[scoffs] The stinky cat will have to do.
-What?
-Smoke bomb!
[Chester] Lugosi, what are you doing?
[Lugosi] To the dump!
Oh, Harold.
Always the bridesmaid.
Never the bride.
[cackling]
Lugosi, what is your problem?
Untie me now.
Oh, no, no, no.
I can't do that.
Not until you accept your role
as my new master.
I don't wanna be your new master.
Oh? Are you certain?
Because I have my ways of convincing you.
[Lugosi] Tired of having to open
cans by yourself?
How does everyone keep getting that clip?
Oh, no, are you doing an infomercial too?
Hi! I'm Lugosi.
As my new master, you'll never have
to open a can yourself again.
Achy back?
Consider me your personal masseuse.
-No.
-I also do foot rubs.
-Stop.
-Ear rubs.
-Quit it.
-Nose rubs.
[grunts] Stop it. Stop it.
Still not convinced?
Obviously.
-I cook.
-No.
-I clean. I bring you milk.
-No! No!
-I'll be your footstool.
-No.
-Your doorstop. Your floor mat.
-No. No.
And best of all,
what master would be complete
without his own supernatural powers that
he could use to crush the false master?
[cackling]
Crush Bunnicula?
I won't help you do that.
To receive your powers now, just stare
into the eyes of this magic totem.
Stare into the [moans]
Whoa. [grunting]
[growling]
Hey, Lugosi. We found you.
Now, why don't you go ahead
and give us Chester?
[laughing, then groans]
Oh, no. [squeals]
Chester's been turned into a hideous,
completely disgusting, repulsive creature.
Don't look at it. Don't look at it!
Oh, come on. That's uncalled for.
Am I really, though? What did he do to me?
[grunting]
[indistinctly]
I demand you to change him back.
You want me to change him back?
Why should I do what a fake master says?
Especially now that I have a new master.
One I can massage and style their hair.
And lick their feet
without the taste of cold metal.
You won't be doing any of that to me.
Now, new master, destroy
that fake master.
What? Destroy Bunnicula?
-Why would I wanna do that?
-[groans]
Having trouble with stubborn new masters
not crushing your adversaries?
Oh, yeah. All the time.
Then try using your magic totem
to control their minds.
Mind control? What are you talking about?
New master,
I command you to destroy the imposter!
Like I said, I'm not gonna [grunts]
I can't wait to crush those guys. [grunts]
[yells]
Hate to kick you when you're down.
Ow! Ow, ow, ow.
My toes. My toes!
Look out for that tail. [pants]
That was close.
There's another one. What? Where'd it go?
There he is. [grunting]
Come here, you. I'm surrounded.
[grunting]
Do you ever have trouble
crushing troublesome imposters?
Try hitting them with a telephone pole.
Batter up!
[screaming]
[cackling]
Good riddance to fake masters.
[laughing]
Huh?
[indistinctly] Am I rusting?
Uh-oh.
Oh. [groaning]
Master?
[gasps] It is the master.
What a fool I have been.
[grunts]
-No! Don't do it!
-Huh?
Oh, master.
Yes, yes.
I have missed your smell. [sniffs]
And you're fuzzy and soft,
just like I remembered.
You're back.
I'm so sorry for doubting you.
[Chester clears throat]
There can only be one master.
[Harold] Chester, wait.
Don't crush your friends.
There's a better way.
[Harold] Tired of going through
the trouble
of being an evil mind-controlled monster?
Oh, come on.
How are you guys
even editing this together?
Try our new product called
"Appealing to Your Better Nature".
Yes, Appealing to Your Better Nature
allows you to stop
and think about what you're doing,
remembering the bonds of friendship,
and not destroy your friends.
Yes, you can have all that now
with one easy payment of Snap Out of It!
Act now!
Act now, Chester.
Act now!
Nice try.
But infomercials never worked on me.
-How about destroying the totem?
-Oh, yeah.
Or we can just destroy the evil totem
that's controlling you.
[both] It's that easy!
[growling]
[grunts]
-Welcome back, buddy.
-[groans]
-What just happened?
-[grunts]
The master just saved the day again.
I was a fool to try to replace you.
The other master paled
in comparison to you.
Oh, this is awkward.
Listen, what we had was great.
Well, not great.
It was adequate.
But I must return to my true master.
-Please do.
-[shushes]
No, no, no, no.
You're embarrassing yourself.
Be brave.
It's just that you're a terrible master.
Fine. I don't care.
[Lugosi] Stop making a scene.
-It's getting pathetic.
-[Chester groans]
[Lugosi] It's not you.
-No, I take that back, it is you.
-[Chester groans]
[Lugosi] You're terrible.
[closing theme playing]