Lizzie Mcguire (2001) s02e33 Episode Script
One of the Guys
Alright, listen up.
Today we'll be participating in the Presidential Fitness Challenge.
Why can't it be the Presidential Something-That-Lizzie-is-Good-at Challenge? I don't want a challenge.
I want a nap.
Guys, keep it down.
The President's going to be here.
The goal of this exercise is to hang on the bar until your arms fall off.
Mr.
Gordon.
What exactly does hanging on a bar have to do with fitness? Take it up with the President.
Alright.
Sanchez, Gordon, Craft, McGuire.
You're up.
Alright.
Ready? One, two three.
Hanging from a bar isn't a real useful skill.
But it's not exactly gym death.
Uh, this isn't as bad as I thought it would be.
Yeah, piece of cake.
Sanchez down.
You know, I bet the President doesn't have to do this.
I couldn't imagine him having breakfast with the heads of state and then going into his Oval Office and doing hanging chin-ups.
Gordon down.
So, getting tired yet? -I'm just warming up.
-Yeah.
Keep it up, McGuire and Craft.
Ten more seconds, you set a new school record.
Did you hear that, Ethan? Yeah record.
Hey, the bar it's all slippery.
No fair That would be so cool.
Lizzie and Ethan breaking a school record.
Did you hear that, Ethan? Ethan?! Whoa! Ethan has left the building.
Alright, let's have a hand for Ms.
McGuire.
New school record-holder in the Presidential Fitness Challenge.
Time to pack my bags.
Guess who's taking over the White House in 2024? If you believe We've got a picture-perfect plan We've got you fooled 'Cause we only do the best we can And sometimes we make it And sometimes we fake it But we get one step closer each and every day We'll figure it out on the way Lizzie McGuire S02E33 One of Those Guys I still don't think you need to hang on a bar to become the president.
I don't remember reading that in the constitution.
Well, I still can't believe you beat every one, I mean, including Ethan.
It's not that big of a deal.
Okay, it's really cool.
All in a day's work.
-Hey, Lizzie.
-Hey, Thomas.
I heard you wiped the floor with my boy Ethan.
I just came over to give my props to the new school record holder.
Lizzie, I shake your hand, but I don't want you to break it.
Don't worry, Ethan.
I'm not going to hurt you.
Except for your pride.
-Miranda.
-Oh, you're going to take that? I'm up for rematch -if lady is.
-Oh, that's a shocker.
Oh, I lost to a girl and now to reassert my male dominance and I'll beat her in front of my friends.
It's not like that, Gor-don.
Because I don't know what that means.
Don't worry, Ethan.
It's just this one little weird thing that happened today in Gym.
Hey, you guys could arm wrestle.
What do you say, McGuire? Sure.
Okay.
I'm gonna 1 2 3 go.
-And go on go, got it? -Got it.
Okay.
Go! Lizzie No.
Lizzie I won.
And you'll not leave this room until you've done with your homework.
Mom, haven't you ever thought maybe I wasn't meant to do math.
No.
This's so unfair.
Do your home work.
Do your home work.
Do your home work.
She's good.
Tape.
I'm a Tapezilla.
Fear me.
Matt, do your homework and have fun getting that off your face, Tapezilla.
Vampires! Hey, looks like this's done.
Good job, Matt.
Hey, Lizzie, make a muscle.
What's up? Hey, we need a fifth for the flag football.
Oh, sorry, Ethan, but I I was talking to Muscles McGuire over here.
Yeah, come on, Lizzie, you game? Am I game? If being game means flag football with team Hotties, then I'm totally game.
I'm like the most game there ever was.
Sure, I'm game.
Coolie, see you tomorrow after school.
Sure, I am there.
You're taking me with you.
I don't care if I have to be a cheerleader.
I'm going.
If I'd known this was going to happen, I would have so hung on to the bar longer.
Yeah, well.
I guess I'll go, too.
But I'm not going to be a cheerleader.
That's ok, Gordo.
I don't think you have the legs for it anyway.
I must say I was most unimpressed with your math homework.
However, I'd especially like to single out Matt McGuire.
As we all know Matt isn't exactly a role model for class conduct.
But he's a perfect example of how hard work and perseverance pays off.
A 97, Mr.
McGuire.
Nice work.
I don't believe it.
How? I'm brilliant.
Okay, here is how it happened.
I was in my room about to dig into my homework, when I fell asleep.
-When I woke up, it was done.
-Fine.
But tonight You're taking home my homework.
I'll sleep through the whole day if I have to to finish your homework.
Alright, it's going to be a pass.
We've got to go man-to-man.
Cover the flag.
We got to hold them.
What does that mean? Alright, this is weird.
Ethan's usually the one who's confused.
'Cause we hold them, we win.
'Cause the team with the most points wins and we're that team.
No, I've meant the flag part.
No.
Who's got Jose, Thomas? Nobody scores on my watch.
Thomas.
It's flag football, not tackle.
Sorry.
Was that okay? Okay, Lizzie.
Look at you.
You're a monster.
You won us the game.
You got some righteous moves, McGuire.
Hey, we got another game tomorrow.
Yeah.
You'll be there, right.
Sure, it was totally fine.
Props, Lizzie, you're a total dude.
Lizzie, that was a great hit.
You totally took Jose out! Yeah, you were hanging out with all the cute boys all over the place.
I mean, who are you? I'm a total dude.
Finally the cute boys noticed me.
That's right, Lizzie, you are a total dude.
You act like a dude, you look like a dude.
Oh You even smell like a dude.
Later dude.
Yeah, the cute boys noticed me because they think I'm one of them.
You're a total dude, Lizzie.
You're a monster.
That's right, Lizzie.
You're a total dude! Miranda, it's me.
And I know that it is 5:30 in the morning and I'm really really sorry.
But -I need you.
-Lizzie? Did I just call you in my sleep? I just woke up and the phone was in my hand.
Miranda, everybody thinks that I'm a guy.
Ethan called me a total dude.
And Thomas said that I was a monster.
Lizzie, maybe you're a guy-girl.
But that's just it, Miranda.
No guy's ever going to want to take me out to date or to dances or to the movies or anything.
The guys will high-five me but they won't hold my hand.
Maybe I could be a more of girly girl.
Good idea.
Lizzie, I love you, you know.
But, next time, could you please give your crisis for the daylight hours.
-Sure.
-Thank you.
Okay, they want a girl.
I can be a total girl.
I'm going to be the girliest girl they've ever seen.
No more gravy! Looks like this is done.
Who's your math genius? Who's your math genius? Well, thank you! The Nobel Prize.
I'm a super girl and I'm here to save the world But I want to know who's going to save me I'm a super girl Okay.
I need one part Clueless and two parts Legally Blonde.
I want to know why I got to feel so alone Seems like a dream There is no one Watch out, world! Ms.
Lizzie McGuire is ready to make your acquaintance.
Hey, Ethan, hey Thomas.
So, did you bring your clothes to change into? For what? The game, Lizzie? I mean, we've got to have our No.
1 tackler.
Uh, em, I think I'm finished with football.
Wait, I thought you were having a blast yesterday.
You tore up the field.
Tore up the field? I chewed it up and spit it out.
I totally rocked.
Don't you forget it! Yeah, well, I just don't think it was my sport.
I'll come by and cheer you guys on.
We don't need an another cheerleader, we need a player.
I guess girls really don't play football.
Who are you calling a girl? Oh, that's me.
Em, Lizzie, you're falling asleep in your food.
Yeah.
It's not very girly.
Girly, what are you guys talking about? Well, Ethan thinks Lizzie is a guy-friend, so now his guy-friend thinks her a guy-friend, so now he's Lizzie's guy-friend who is real guys who won't ever ask her out.
-So besically I'm just a guy-girl.
-Okay.
Let me explain to you.
I've been up since 5:30 this morning, And called me.
Thank you very much.
Let me finish.
It took me twice as long to do my hair make-up this morning.
And I changed my outfits six times That's three more than I usually do.
Well, you don't really look that different, Lizzie.
But at least, not to me.
See, it doesn't even make a difference.
I'm doomed to be a guy-girl forever.
Kate's going to be invited to the prom and I'm going to be invited to the Monster Truck rallies and the Chille Burger belching contests.
Lizzie, Lizzie, you got potato salad in your hair.
Just let her rest.
Hey, Matt, we got a call from your school today.
I didn't do it, I was framed! Sit down.
-We got a call from your teacher, Mrs.
Chatman.
-Yeah.
She said your math was really improved.
Two As in a row.
Now, I know we have been very hard on you about the homework.
But, obiviously, it's working.
So we just want to tell you that we're very very very proud of you.
-Wait, you're proud of me? -Yeah.
So, what was it, buddy? What makes the difference? I just buckled down, because, when it's going in its tough, Matt McGuire gets going.
Alright.
Like now.
See you.
You know I knew him come around.
It takes after me, you know.
Hey, McGuire, catch! Well, you can hang all day, but you can't catch a medicine ball? Sorry.
Heard you beat Craft in arm wrestling yesterday? Nice job.
Yeah.
Nice job of permanently ruining any chance I may have of my social life.
Thanks.
You don't sound happy on this whole thing.
Well, I'm not.
Ever since the gym class yesterday everybody thinks I'm a guy-girl.
Never going to get a date.
They think you are a guy-girl, because you set a school record? And I beat Ethan Craft in arm wrestling and I played flag football.
-Who exactly thinks this? -Everyone.
Ethan Craft said I was a total dude And Thomas called me a monster.
Craft calls everyone a dude.
He doesn't kown many other words.
And Thomas is a guy.
To him, "monster"--that's a compliment.
But Kate thinks it too.
Did you ever think that maybe Kate was jealous of the fact you were spending quality time with the really cute boys in class? No.
But I like that explanation.
There are people that they think that being strong is a boy thing.
but that's because they're severely lacking in brains.
-I guess.
-Hear me out, McGuire.
Do you think that Brandy Chastain worries about what people think? Or what about Picabo Street? Or Kelly Clark? I'm not like them, they're champions.
Just because you like to play flag football, it doesn't mean you can't do more girlie things, too.
I mean, I'm a power lifter, but I like to go swing-dancing with Mr.
Lang.
You like to swing-dancing? I can't believe it.
It's hard to believe teachers even exist outside of school.
Well, believe it.
And I even sew my own dresses, 'cause I can't find any to fit my arms.
That's really cool.
So you can do both.
And so can you, McGuire.
Thanks.
I feel a lot better now.
No problem.
I can talk to students.
I just prefer to yell most of the time.
Fredo.
What? You mean you haven't covered the long division in the monkey school yet? Hey, it's okay.
It'll be okay.
It'll be okay.
Em really.
-Hi.
-Fredo? You know you can't go out until you finish your homework.
Is he stuck on long division, because had no problem with yesterday's homework.
And oopsie.
Fredo, we've been over long division a thousand times already.
You know he won't keep coming over here if we got him that satellite dish.
Come on, Fredo.
Good girl.
So you need to tell us that that monkey got a 97 on your math homework? Yeah.
Matt! I am so furious with you! Maybe Fredo can help us with our taxes.
What? You're right.
Matt does take after you.
Are you sure you want to do this? I am positive.
Let's play some football.
I'm proud of you, Lizzie.
Go out there and kick some butt.
Who would let the dogs out? Nobody likes you, Kate.
I want in.
Sorry, McG, wouldn't want you to break a nail or anything.
Ethan, I don't care if I break all my nails.
I'm going in.
Look, Ethan, they're killing us out there.
Lizzie, we could really use you.
What do you say? Lizzie, if I put you in, then someone else would have to sit out.
Come on, Craft.
I got an idea.
That's something you don't hear very often.
-Ethan.
-Dude, I told you I'm watching the game.
I'm not a dude! S shut Girls can do anything and be anything we want to be Girls can do anything And we can survive and be what we want And girls can be anything we want to be They're going to think of her as a guy-girl.
You know what? I don't think she cares what they think.
-And I think that's pretty cool.
-Yeah.
Girls can do anything and be anything we want to be Girls can do anything We can survive and be what we want Girls can do anything -Great play, Lizzie! -Thanks.
Oh, I'm glad you showed up.
I know.
Me, too.
It just took some time for this girl to figure out that she's going to play.
So, um, let's go out there and make those guys wish that they were never born.
Alright! You've lost your marbles in the black lagoon.
This is you I know I can muscle, but I'm always cute.
They think I'm one of them.
Today we'll be participating in the Presidential Fitness Challenge.
Why can't it be the Presidential Something-That-Lizzie-is-Good-at Challenge? I don't want a challenge.
I want a nap.
Guys, keep it down.
The President's going to be here.
The goal of this exercise is to hang on the bar until your arms fall off.
Mr.
Gordon.
What exactly does hanging on a bar have to do with fitness? Take it up with the President.
Alright.
Sanchez, Gordon, Craft, McGuire.
You're up.
Alright.
Ready? One, two three.
Hanging from a bar isn't a real useful skill.
But it's not exactly gym death.
Uh, this isn't as bad as I thought it would be.
Yeah, piece of cake.
Sanchez down.
You know, I bet the President doesn't have to do this.
I couldn't imagine him having breakfast with the heads of state and then going into his Oval Office and doing hanging chin-ups.
Gordon down.
So, getting tired yet? -I'm just warming up.
-Yeah.
Keep it up, McGuire and Craft.
Ten more seconds, you set a new school record.
Did you hear that, Ethan? Yeah record.
Hey, the bar it's all slippery.
No fair That would be so cool.
Lizzie and Ethan breaking a school record.
Did you hear that, Ethan? Ethan?! Whoa! Ethan has left the building.
Alright, let's have a hand for Ms.
McGuire.
New school record-holder in the Presidential Fitness Challenge.
Time to pack my bags.
Guess who's taking over the White House in 2024? If you believe We've got a picture-perfect plan We've got you fooled 'Cause we only do the best we can And sometimes we make it And sometimes we fake it But we get one step closer each and every day We'll figure it out on the way Lizzie McGuire S02E33 One of Those Guys I still don't think you need to hang on a bar to become the president.
I don't remember reading that in the constitution.
Well, I still can't believe you beat every one, I mean, including Ethan.
It's not that big of a deal.
Okay, it's really cool.
All in a day's work.
-Hey, Lizzie.
-Hey, Thomas.
I heard you wiped the floor with my boy Ethan.
I just came over to give my props to the new school record holder.
Lizzie, I shake your hand, but I don't want you to break it.
Don't worry, Ethan.
I'm not going to hurt you.
Except for your pride.
-Miranda.
-Oh, you're going to take that? I'm up for rematch -if lady is.
-Oh, that's a shocker.
Oh, I lost to a girl and now to reassert my male dominance and I'll beat her in front of my friends.
It's not like that, Gor-don.
Because I don't know what that means.
Don't worry, Ethan.
It's just this one little weird thing that happened today in Gym.
Hey, you guys could arm wrestle.
What do you say, McGuire? Sure.
Okay.
I'm gonna 1 2 3 go.
-And go on go, got it? -Got it.
Okay.
Go! Lizzie No.
Lizzie I won.
And you'll not leave this room until you've done with your homework.
Mom, haven't you ever thought maybe I wasn't meant to do math.
No.
This's so unfair.
Do your home work.
Do your home work.
Do your home work.
She's good.
Tape.
I'm a Tapezilla.
Fear me.
Matt, do your homework and have fun getting that off your face, Tapezilla.
Vampires! Hey, looks like this's done.
Good job, Matt.
Hey, Lizzie, make a muscle.
What's up? Hey, we need a fifth for the flag football.
Oh, sorry, Ethan, but I I was talking to Muscles McGuire over here.
Yeah, come on, Lizzie, you game? Am I game? If being game means flag football with team Hotties, then I'm totally game.
I'm like the most game there ever was.
Sure, I'm game.
Coolie, see you tomorrow after school.
Sure, I am there.
You're taking me with you.
I don't care if I have to be a cheerleader.
I'm going.
If I'd known this was going to happen, I would have so hung on to the bar longer.
Yeah, well.
I guess I'll go, too.
But I'm not going to be a cheerleader.
That's ok, Gordo.
I don't think you have the legs for it anyway.
I must say I was most unimpressed with your math homework.
However, I'd especially like to single out Matt McGuire.
As we all know Matt isn't exactly a role model for class conduct.
But he's a perfect example of how hard work and perseverance pays off.
A 97, Mr.
McGuire.
Nice work.
I don't believe it.
How? I'm brilliant.
Okay, here is how it happened.
I was in my room about to dig into my homework, when I fell asleep.
-When I woke up, it was done.
-Fine.
But tonight You're taking home my homework.
I'll sleep through the whole day if I have to to finish your homework.
Alright, it's going to be a pass.
We've got to go man-to-man.
Cover the flag.
We got to hold them.
What does that mean? Alright, this is weird.
Ethan's usually the one who's confused.
'Cause we hold them, we win.
'Cause the team with the most points wins and we're that team.
No, I've meant the flag part.
No.
Who's got Jose, Thomas? Nobody scores on my watch.
Thomas.
It's flag football, not tackle.
Sorry.
Was that okay? Okay, Lizzie.
Look at you.
You're a monster.
You won us the game.
You got some righteous moves, McGuire.
Hey, we got another game tomorrow.
Yeah.
You'll be there, right.
Sure, it was totally fine.
Props, Lizzie, you're a total dude.
Lizzie, that was a great hit.
You totally took Jose out! Yeah, you were hanging out with all the cute boys all over the place.
I mean, who are you? I'm a total dude.
Finally the cute boys noticed me.
That's right, Lizzie, you are a total dude.
You act like a dude, you look like a dude.
Oh You even smell like a dude.
Later dude.
Yeah, the cute boys noticed me because they think I'm one of them.
You're a total dude, Lizzie.
You're a monster.
That's right, Lizzie.
You're a total dude! Miranda, it's me.
And I know that it is 5:30 in the morning and I'm really really sorry.
But -I need you.
-Lizzie? Did I just call you in my sleep? I just woke up and the phone was in my hand.
Miranda, everybody thinks that I'm a guy.
Ethan called me a total dude.
And Thomas said that I was a monster.
Lizzie, maybe you're a guy-girl.
But that's just it, Miranda.
No guy's ever going to want to take me out to date or to dances or to the movies or anything.
The guys will high-five me but they won't hold my hand.
Maybe I could be a more of girly girl.
Good idea.
Lizzie, I love you, you know.
But, next time, could you please give your crisis for the daylight hours.
-Sure.
-Thank you.
Okay, they want a girl.
I can be a total girl.
I'm going to be the girliest girl they've ever seen.
No more gravy! Looks like this is done.
Who's your math genius? Who's your math genius? Well, thank you! The Nobel Prize.
I'm a super girl and I'm here to save the world But I want to know who's going to save me I'm a super girl Okay.
I need one part Clueless and two parts Legally Blonde.
I want to know why I got to feel so alone Seems like a dream There is no one Watch out, world! Ms.
Lizzie McGuire is ready to make your acquaintance.
Hey, Ethan, hey Thomas.
So, did you bring your clothes to change into? For what? The game, Lizzie? I mean, we've got to have our No.
1 tackler.
Uh, em, I think I'm finished with football.
Wait, I thought you were having a blast yesterday.
You tore up the field.
Tore up the field? I chewed it up and spit it out.
I totally rocked.
Don't you forget it! Yeah, well, I just don't think it was my sport.
I'll come by and cheer you guys on.
We don't need an another cheerleader, we need a player.
I guess girls really don't play football.
Who are you calling a girl? Oh, that's me.
Em, Lizzie, you're falling asleep in your food.
Yeah.
It's not very girly.
Girly, what are you guys talking about? Well, Ethan thinks Lizzie is a guy-friend, so now his guy-friend thinks her a guy-friend, so now he's Lizzie's guy-friend who is real guys who won't ever ask her out.
-So besically I'm just a guy-girl.
-Okay.
Let me explain to you.
I've been up since 5:30 this morning, And called me.
Thank you very much.
Let me finish.
It took me twice as long to do my hair make-up this morning.
And I changed my outfits six times That's three more than I usually do.
Well, you don't really look that different, Lizzie.
But at least, not to me.
See, it doesn't even make a difference.
I'm doomed to be a guy-girl forever.
Kate's going to be invited to the prom and I'm going to be invited to the Monster Truck rallies and the Chille Burger belching contests.
Lizzie, Lizzie, you got potato salad in your hair.
Just let her rest.
Hey, Matt, we got a call from your school today.
I didn't do it, I was framed! Sit down.
-We got a call from your teacher, Mrs.
Chatman.
-Yeah.
She said your math was really improved.
Two As in a row.
Now, I know we have been very hard on you about the homework.
But, obiviously, it's working.
So we just want to tell you that we're very very very proud of you.
-Wait, you're proud of me? -Yeah.
So, what was it, buddy? What makes the difference? I just buckled down, because, when it's going in its tough, Matt McGuire gets going.
Alright.
Like now.
See you.
You know I knew him come around.
It takes after me, you know.
Hey, McGuire, catch! Well, you can hang all day, but you can't catch a medicine ball? Sorry.
Heard you beat Craft in arm wrestling yesterday? Nice job.
Yeah.
Nice job of permanently ruining any chance I may have of my social life.
Thanks.
You don't sound happy on this whole thing.
Well, I'm not.
Ever since the gym class yesterday everybody thinks I'm a guy-girl.
Never going to get a date.
They think you are a guy-girl, because you set a school record? And I beat Ethan Craft in arm wrestling and I played flag football.
-Who exactly thinks this? -Everyone.
Ethan Craft said I was a total dude And Thomas called me a monster.
Craft calls everyone a dude.
He doesn't kown many other words.
And Thomas is a guy.
To him, "monster"--that's a compliment.
But Kate thinks it too.
Did you ever think that maybe Kate was jealous of the fact you were spending quality time with the really cute boys in class? No.
But I like that explanation.
There are people that they think that being strong is a boy thing.
but that's because they're severely lacking in brains.
-I guess.
-Hear me out, McGuire.
Do you think that Brandy Chastain worries about what people think? Or what about Picabo Street? Or Kelly Clark? I'm not like them, they're champions.
Just because you like to play flag football, it doesn't mean you can't do more girlie things, too.
I mean, I'm a power lifter, but I like to go swing-dancing with Mr.
Lang.
You like to swing-dancing? I can't believe it.
It's hard to believe teachers even exist outside of school.
Well, believe it.
And I even sew my own dresses, 'cause I can't find any to fit my arms.
That's really cool.
So you can do both.
And so can you, McGuire.
Thanks.
I feel a lot better now.
No problem.
I can talk to students.
I just prefer to yell most of the time.
Fredo.
What? You mean you haven't covered the long division in the monkey school yet? Hey, it's okay.
It'll be okay.
It'll be okay.
Em really.
-Hi.
-Fredo? You know you can't go out until you finish your homework.
Is he stuck on long division, because had no problem with yesterday's homework.
And oopsie.
Fredo, we've been over long division a thousand times already.
You know he won't keep coming over here if we got him that satellite dish.
Come on, Fredo.
Good girl.
So you need to tell us that that monkey got a 97 on your math homework? Yeah.
Matt! I am so furious with you! Maybe Fredo can help us with our taxes.
What? You're right.
Matt does take after you.
Are you sure you want to do this? I am positive.
Let's play some football.
I'm proud of you, Lizzie.
Go out there and kick some butt.
Who would let the dogs out? Nobody likes you, Kate.
I want in.
Sorry, McG, wouldn't want you to break a nail or anything.
Ethan, I don't care if I break all my nails.
I'm going in.
Look, Ethan, they're killing us out there.
Lizzie, we could really use you.
What do you say? Lizzie, if I put you in, then someone else would have to sit out.
Come on, Craft.
I got an idea.
That's something you don't hear very often.
-Ethan.
-Dude, I told you I'm watching the game.
I'm not a dude! S shut Girls can do anything and be anything we want to be Girls can do anything And we can survive and be what we want And girls can be anything we want to be They're going to think of her as a guy-girl.
You know what? I don't think she cares what they think.
-And I think that's pretty cool.
-Yeah.
Girls can do anything and be anything we want to be Girls can do anything We can survive and be what we want Girls can do anything -Great play, Lizzie! -Thanks.
Oh, I'm glad you showed up.
I know.
Me, too.
It just took some time for this girl to figure out that she's going to play.
So, um, let's go out there and make those guys wish that they were never born.
Alright! You've lost your marbles in the black lagoon.
This is you I know I can muscle, but I'm always cute.
They think I'm one of them.