Clarence US (2014) s02e35 Episode Script
Motel
1 [remote clicks.]
[upbeat music plays.]
I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! [Music.]
Chad! Chad! [Muffled.]
Hey, guys.
Got a lot of tasty Huh? Hey, Mare.
I saved you some potatoes and scallions if you want.
[Sighs.]
All right.
Coming through.
Nobody help me.
- No one's got to - Hey, I think someone needs a special drink.
Oh, ho.
That's so sweet.
Wait, what? [Whispering.]
Just for you.
- Aaah! - Okay, it's okay, Clarence.
- Aaaah! - Uh potato? Um, I'm really sorry that I spilled my special drink for you.
It's all right, Clarence.
You just got to think things through a little more next time, all right? Hmm.
Okay, where's the mop? Huh?! [Horror music playing.]
- W-W-What the heck?! - Aah! They can have families and work on the stock market.
[Laughs.]
Yeah, Bug City.
[Both chanting.]
Bug City! Bug City! W-What's going on? Aah! [All chanting "Bug City".]
Bug City! Bug City! Hey, those little guys are doing pretty good.
Oh, well, you know.
Things can happen.
Let's just enjoy our mini getaway.
[Rap playing.]
Oh, oh! I love this song.
[Rapping.]
# Come here let me check your hiney # I'm gonna spank that butt till it's red and shiny I'm gonna spank yo butt Ooh! Mama said spank yo butt Huh! Mama give you somethin' cry about.
Oh! I'll give you something to cry about.
Oh yeah! I'm gonna spank yo butt All right, I'm gonna get a key.
Just, uh, try and stay out of trouble until I get back, okay? [Door shuts, both shudder.]
Oh, man, buddy.
We really got to make this up to your mom.
Otherwise, # She's gonna spank yo butt # I'm talking best behavior here both of us.
- We can handle that, right? - Yeah, I think so.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- Yeah?! - Yeah! [Knock on glass, both scream.]
[Chuckles.]
Okay, you goofballs.
Let's go.
Mmm.
Those look pretty good.
- Mary: Clarence! - Coming! Eagle, scary face, cowboy hat room, a lady shoe [Gasps.]
The snake r Whoa! [Hisses.]
Watch out! [Foreign accent.]
Calm yourself, mademoiselle.
- It is I, Roberto Cupido.
- Oh.
[Chuckles.]
Well, hello, Roberto.
It's been a while.
Madames and monsieurs, welcome.
Zis is our most lavish accommodations.
Very, very, uh lavish.
Can I, uh, sleep in this one? Madame, ze color TV.
It swivels to meet your beautiful gaze, and has - two channels.
- Okay.
All right.
Zis luxury bathroom for your ultimate relaxation.
Uh-huh.
All right.
Zis mattress state-of-ze-art comfort.
[Foreign accent.]
I am ze piggy in ze blanket.
I found your mermaid suit.
[Giggling.]
Why don't you just relax, and I'll take care of everything else.
- [Water running.]
Mary: Oh! - Whew.
Hey, Chad, who's that Roberto Cupido guy.
Oh, he's just a guy I made up a while back.
Your mom really likes him.
I mean, she's doesn't really, like, like-like him, 'cause she likes me, but sometimes introducing new faces works like a charm.
Um, cool, but can you help me get out? [Water stops.]
Ooh.
This is so bouncy.
[Laughs.]
It is bouncy.
[Laughing.]
[Laughing.]
[Music.]
[Vocalizing guitar playing.]
Ahh! [Contemporary jazz playing.]
# Mama said # [Laughs.]
Geez, Bug City.
[Laughs.]
It is your brother, sire.
He fears a foul wind blowing from the north.
Ha! My milquetoast brother always had a nose for foul winds.
[Laughter.]
- What's so funny? - Is this, like, the, uh, front desk? Oh, okay, yeah.
Well, do you do, like, um, room service? Aah! Need I be punished for your family's past squabbles? Man: Yes, I think so.
Hey, Clarence, you sure you're supposed to be watching this? Oh, yeah.
Um, I watch it at Jeff's house, like, every day.
[Shing.]
Who's ready for some juggling? Well okay.
Well, they're all out of grub up front, little man.
Maybe Mary will think of something.
Uh, Mary? Mary: What is it my sweet Roberto? I'm not gonna bother you about dinner or nothing, it's just, uh Oh, you know me.
I'm not picky.
Whatever you have planned I'm sure will be just fine.
Oh, yeah.
'Cause I planned.
I should take care of everything.
[Gasps.]
Mama gonna spank yo butt! [Contemporary jazz playing.]
Oh, no! Got to clean this! [Both panting.]
Does it look brand-new? [Both scream.]
- Maybe the maid can help us out.
- Oof.
Oh.
Where'd she go? Chad, maybe we can be maids.
[Both vocalizing guitar playing.]
[Grunts.]
Whoa.
Are you okay, Clarence? Dinner.
Ahhh.
Okay, boys.
What are we doing for Clarence? Chad? Hmm.
Well, I guess I get a little bit of me time.
[Chuckles.]
Hmm.
[Chuckles.]
Eh.
[Grunts.]
[Chuckles.]
Two, three, four Oh, man.
50 cents short.
Uh, what are you doing? You're gonna break that thing.
Sometimes there's a secret combo.
I heard Jeff talking about it at school, but he hasn't shown me yet.
Uh, Mary's got some coins, but we're not gonna tell her what we need them for, because it will be Seòor Roberto's surprise dinner.
Oh, sorry about that, ma'am.
I don't know who messed this room up.
Oh, okay.
It was me, but it has to be cleaned ASAP.
[Foreign accent.]
Oh, hello, madam.
We are ze best at cleaning ze rooms.
Great.
Thanks, little Frenchman.
[Gasps.]
Chad, she gave me a dollar.
- We can buy us a burrito! - Unh-unh.
No free money.
We got to earn it, bud.
[Horror music playing.]
[Groans.]
Why does the room look like this? I'm scared.
This will be your arm, next time.
Aah! It wasn't any 24-hour emergency plumber guy, it was my plumber guy.
I'm not guilty! [Sniffs.]
Mmm, lavender.
Ugh, what am I doing watching this stuff? My brain's rotting out of my ears.
[Grunts.]
[Chuckles.]
Chad! [Laughs.]
Okay, around back.
[Chuckling.]
All right, bathr [Groans.]
Whoa.
- Whoa - Oh, uh, it's nothing, buddy.
[Humming.]
[Grunting.]
Whew! [Both groan.]
[Sniffs.]
This bed smells funny.
- Hey, Chad? - Yeah, man? Does Mom do this every single day? - I think so.
- Ohhh [Snoring.]
Man: And this will be your finger! [Shing!.]
What? [Laughs.]
Okay, that's enough.
All right.
Hmm.
Well, it's surely quiet without the boys.
[Chuckles.]
Hmm.
Maybe I should check out the Jacuzzi.
[Sighs.]
That was the most difficult dollar I ever made.
[Door opens.]
Stay quiet, pal.
Surprise dinner, remember? Hmm? What the? Meh.
Both: Yes! [Music.]
Check this thing out.
It's bigger than my head.
Oh, it's like a size 13! Woman: My dog is puking on my bed! Mary: Say, mind if I join you? [Sighs.]
This is much better than watching TV.
[Chuckles.]
Oh, um, your magazine's getting a little wet there.
Don't want to get your stories soggy.
[Chuckles.]
You ever seen a dog chasing his own tail? Uh.
[Humming, beep.]
All right, dinner.
Well, let's go back to the room, clean, light a candle, and Uh, what's going on with the knob? It's almost like we're locked in alive! [Both screaming.]
So uh you on vacation? - Yeah.
- That's nice.
From my son and my husband.
Yeah, but how long are you on vacation for? Five years.
[Fart, bubbling.]
You know what? That Oh, boy.
That reminds me.
I got to look for my son and husband, so [Muffled grunting, crashing, yelling.]
Huh? - Mary: Clarence? - Mom? Hi, Mom! - It's Clarence, your son! - Uh, guys! We made dinner.
I've been gone for only 30 minutes and this is [Laughing.]
Look at you guys! [Both laughs.]
Wait.
What's I don't get it.
Do you think that the bugs are okay? Think they found some other city to live in? Uh, yeah.
They're probably in, you know [Sighs.]
Oh, right.
"Home, sweet home.
" Uh, oh! [Foreign accent.]
Mademoiselle, oh! Pardon, mademoiselle.
Please, forgive us, as we have not finished [whispers.]
cleaning, Mr.
Roberto.
Uh, oh! Yeah, but perhaps you would like to freshen up while we finish.
[Grunts.]
I found ze fairy queen's crown.
[Foreign accent.]
And ze glittering wings.
Only ze best for our favorite lady.
You dorks! [Laughter.]
[upbeat music plays.]
I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! [Music.]
Chad! Chad! [Muffled.]
Hey, guys.
Got a lot of tasty Huh? Hey, Mare.
I saved you some potatoes and scallions if you want.
[Sighs.]
All right.
Coming through.
Nobody help me.
- No one's got to - Hey, I think someone needs a special drink.
Oh, ho.
That's so sweet.
Wait, what? [Whispering.]
Just for you.
- Aaah! - Okay, it's okay, Clarence.
- Aaaah! - Uh potato? Um, I'm really sorry that I spilled my special drink for you.
It's all right, Clarence.
You just got to think things through a little more next time, all right? Hmm.
Okay, where's the mop? Huh?! [Horror music playing.]
- W-W-What the heck?! - Aah! They can have families and work on the stock market.
[Laughs.]
Yeah, Bug City.
[Both chanting.]
Bug City! Bug City! W-What's going on? Aah! [All chanting "Bug City".]
Bug City! Bug City! Hey, those little guys are doing pretty good.
Oh, well, you know.
Things can happen.
Let's just enjoy our mini getaway.
[Rap playing.]
Oh, oh! I love this song.
[Rapping.]
# Come here let me check your hiney # I'm gonna spank that butt till it's red and shiny I'm gonna spank yo butt Ooh! Mama said spank yo butt Huh! Mama give you somethin' cry about.
Oh! I'll give you something to cry about.
Oh yeah! I'm gonna spank yo butt All right, I'm gonna get a key.
Just, uh, try and stay out of trouble until I get back, okay? [Door shuts, both shudder.]
Oh, man, buddy.
We really got to make this up to your mom.
Otherwise, # She's gonna spank yo butt # I'm talking best behavior here both of us.
- We can handle that, right? - Yeah, I think so.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- Yeah?! - Yeah! [Knock on glass, both scream.]
[Chuckles.]
Okay, you goofballs.
Let's go.
Mmm.
Those look pretty good.
- Mary: Clarence! - Coming! Eagle, scary face, cowboy hat room, a lady shoe [Gasps.]
The snake r Whoa! [Hisses.]
Watch out! [Foreign accent.]
Calm yourself, mademoiselle.
- It is I, Roberto Cupido.
- Oh.
[Chuckles.]
Well, hello, Roberto.
It's been a while.
Madames and monsieurs, welcome.
Zis is our most lavish accommodations.
Very, very, uh lavish.
Can I, uh, sleep in this one? Madame, ze color TV.
It swivels to meet your beautiful gaze, and has - two channels.
- Okay.
All right.
Zis luxury bathroom for your ultimate relaxation.
Uh-huh.
All right.
Zis mattress state-of-ze-art comfort.
[Foreign accent.]
I am ze piggy in ze blanket.
I found your mermaid suit.
[Giggling.]
Why don't you just relax, and I'll take care of everything else.
- [Water running.]
Mary: Oh! - Whew.
Hey, Chad, who's that Roberto Cupido guy.
Oh, he's just a guy I made up a while back.
Your mom really likes him.
I mean, she's doesn't really, like, like-like him, 'cause she likes me, but sometimes introducing new faces works like a charm.
Um, cool, but can you help me get out? [Water stops.]
Ooh.
This is so bouncy.
[Laughs.]
It is bouncy.
[Laughing.]
[Laughing.]
[Music.]
[Vocalizing guitar playing.]
Ahh! [Contemporary jazz playing.]
# Mama said # [Laughs.]
Geez, Bug City.
[Laughs.]
It is your brother, sire.
He fears a foul wind blowing from the north.
Ha! My milquetoast brother always had a nose for foul winds.
[Laughter.]
- What's so funny? - Is this, like, the, uh, front desk? Oh, okay, yeah.
Well, do you do, like, um, room service? Aah! Need I be punished for your family's past squabbles? Man: Yes, I think so.
Hey, Clarence, you sure you're supposed to be watching this? Oh, yeah.
Um, I watch it at Jeff's house, like, every day.
[Shing.]
Who's ready for some juggling? Well okay.
Well, they're all out of grub up front, little man.
Maybe Mary will think of something.
Uh, Mary? Mary: What is it my sweet Roberto? I'm not gonna bother you about dinner or nothing, it's just, uh Oh, you know me.
I'm not picky.
Whatever you have planned I'm sure will be just fine.
Oh, yeah.
'Cause I planned.
I should take care of everything.
[Gasps.]
Mama gonna spank yo butt! [Contemporary jazz playing.]
Oh, no! Got to clean this! [Both panting.]
Does it look brand-new? [Both scream.]
- Maybe the maid can help us out.
- Oof.
Oh.
Where'd she go? Chad, maybe we can be maids.
[Both vocalizing guitar playing.]
[Grunts.]
Whoa.
Are you okay, Clarence? Dinner.
Ahhh.
Okay, boys.
What are we doing for Clarence? Chad? Hmm.
Well, I guess I get a little bit of me time.
[Chuckles.]
Hmm.
[Chuckles.]
Eh.
[Grunts.]
[Chuckles.]
Two, three, four Oh, man.
50 cents short.
Uh, what are you doing? You're gonna break that thing.
Sometimes there's a secret combo.
I heard Jeff talking about it at school, but he hasn't shown me yet.
Uh, Mary's got some coins, but we're not gonna tell her what we need them for, because it will be Seòor Roberto's surprise dinner.
Oh, sorry about that, ma'am.
I don't know who messed this room up.
Oh, okay.
It was me, but it has to be cleaned ASAP.
[Foreign accent.]
Oh, hello, madam.
We are ze best at cleaning ze rooms.
Great.
Thanks, little Frenchman.
[Gasps.]
Chad, she gave me a dollar.
- We can buy us a burrito! - Unh-unh.
No free money.
We got to earn it, bud.
[Horror music playing.]
[Groans.]
Why does the room look like this? I'm scared.
This will be your arm, next time.
Aah! It wasn't any 24-hour emergency plumber guy, it was my plumber guy.
I'm not guilty! [Sniffs.]
Mmm, lavender.
Ugh, what am I doing watching this stuff? My brain's rotting out of my ears.
[Grunts.]
[Chuckles.]
Chad! [Laughs.]
Okay, around back.
[Chuckling.]
All right, bathr [Groans.]
Whoa.
- Whoa - Oh, uh, it's nothing, buddy.
[Humming.]
[Grunting.]
Whew! [Both groan.]
[Sniffs.]
This bed smells funny.
- Hey, Chad? - Yeah, man? Does Mom do this every single day? - I think so.
- Ohhh [Snoring.]
Man: And this will be your finger! [Shing!.]
What? [Laughs.]
Okay, that's enough.
All right.
Hmm.
Well, it's surely quiet without the boys.
[Chuckles.]
Hmm.
Maybe I should check out the Jacuzzi.
[Sighs.]
That was the most difficult dollar I ever made.
[Door opens.]
Stay quiet, pal.
Surprise dinner, remember? Hmm? What the? Meh.
Both: Yes! [Music.]
Check this thing out.
It's bigger than my head.
Oh, it's like a size 13! Woman: My dog is puking on my bed! Mary: Say, mind if I join you? [Sighs.]
This is much better than watching TV.
[Chuckles.]
Oh, um, your magazine's getting a little wet there.
Don't want to get your stories soggy.
[Chuckles.]
You ever seen a dog chasing his own tail? Uh.
[Humming, beep.]
All right, dinner.
Well, let's go back to the room, clean, light a candle, and Uh, what's going on with the knob? It's almost like we're locked in alive! [Both screaming.]
So uh you on vacation? - Yeah.
- That's nice.
From my son and my husband.
Yeah, but how long are you on vacation for? Five years.
[Fart, bubbling.]
You know what? That Oh, boy.
That reminds me.
I got to look for my son and husband, so [Muffled grunting, crashing, yelling.]
Huh? - Mary: Clarence? - Mom? Hi, Mom! - It's Clarence, your son! - Uh, guys! We made dinner.
I've been gone for only 30 minutes and this is [Laughing.]
Look at you guys! [Both laughs.]
Wait.
What's I don't get it.
Do you think that the bugs are okay? Think they found some other city to live in? Uh, yeah.
They're probably in, you know [Sighs.]
Oh, right.
"Home, sweet home.
" Uh, oh! [Foreign accent.]
Mademoiselle, oh! Pardon, mademoiselle.
Please, forgive us, as we have not finished [whispers.]
cleaning, Mr.
Roberto.
Uh, oh! Yeah, but perhaps you would like to freshen up while we finish.
[Grunts.]
I found ze fairy queen's crown.
[Foreign accent.]
And ze glittering wings.
Only ze best for our favorite lady.
You dorks! [Laughter.]