Phineas and Ferb s02e35 Episode Script
What Do It Do? (15 min)
by ashirogi27 Look at that, my fine feathered friends! Not a bad bit of work, even if I do say so myself.
Just wait till you see the hidden surprise.
Oh, nothing? Not even a sausage? No matter.
Wait until Linda and the kids see it.
It will blow their tiny minds.
Well, not their tiny minds, that's not fair.
You're watching the UNcovery Channel.
We now return to Rrrrr? Many believe that in the 1950s, a UFO crash landed in Roswell, New Mexico.
But the scientists had no idea what the advanced technology was or how it worked.
To find out, they used a process called, reverse engineering.
By closely examining the individual parts, they were able to build their own craft and figure out what it does, and how it does what it does.
Way to go, reverse engineering! The reverse engineering craze reached its zenith in 1982 when new wave band Zanzibar released their smash reverse engineering-related hit, "What Do It Do?" Do do, do do do Cool! Hey, where's Perry? Hey, Carl, where's Agent P? Oh, he came in early today, sir.
He did? Heh.
Well, good for him.
Well, I guess we're done.
I'm going home.
Me, too? No, not you.
Doofenshmirtz Rocket-powered Jet Skiff! Ha! Close! But, no! Cigar! See, Perry the Platypus, my new jet rocket skiff has more hidden traps than Uh Um Ehâ Uh What's something with a lot of hidden traps? Huh Wow, I felt so confident going into that sentence.
Man, okay.
Anyway, you might be wondering why I got such an early start on my evil scheme today.
You see, my dating life has been a seemingly endless series of disappointments.
It all started at a drive-in movie.
That's wings, you turkey Okay, the coast is clear! You can come out now! Eww.
It's grody back here! Well, on the bright side, you got in for free, so We'll just split the cost of my ticket, right? Right? You know, I could've gotten in the trunk, like, a block away instead of when you first picked me up at my house.
Wow, you just love to live in the past, huh? Is that like a thing with you? Whatever.
Let's just try to enjoy the rest of the evening.
I am a happy robot, likey what I hear.
I'm just kidding, that's a thing I do.
C'mon, hop in! That's wings, you turkey You were listening to, "That's Wings, You Turkey" by King of Loud.
And here's a new one from Zanzibar, "What Do It Do?" (Song: "What Do It Do?") Oh, turn it up! I love this song! Do, do, do, do, do, do! Eh, it's okay, I'd say it's in my top seven, eight favorite songs about reverse engineering.
Do, do, do, what do it do? Makes me want to be a pop star! What'cha gonna does when you don't know what it do? Ha! Yeah right, and I'm going to rule the world! Well Do, do, do, do, do, do, do! Why not? Yeah, like I could do that.
What does, what does, what does, what do it do? Maybe instead of, you know The whole world Do, do, do, what do it do? Uh Start small, with the Tri-State Area.
Hey, the movie's starting! You have to put the speaker thing on the car.
No-no-no-no! Check this out.
I built this awesome device that transmits the movie sound in fifth-dimensional stereo! I just plug this in here and voila! I am a clever robot.
Bing-bong, bing-boing.
Huh.
So, can we hold hands now? Take me home.
Fine.
Get in the back.
And I never saw her again.
Oddly enough, she did become a pop star later! I'm still struggling with the whole Tri-State Area thing, but y'know, the dream is alive.
Anyway, they recently reopened that drive-in, dredging up all these unpleasant memories for me.
So, naturally, I built this.
Oh, really?! Really?! Okay, Mom.
I've gotta get to Stacy's! Love ya! Bye! Oop! Mom! Mom! Mom!! Come here! Look what Phineas and Ferb made in the front yard! Quick! Oh, yeah.
You're in suchâ The boys built that?! Yes! They're always making crazy things like this! See?! See?! What is it?! Well, obviously, it's aâ Why don't you ask/bust them?! Ask/bust us what? Do you mind telling me what this is and why you built it in our front yard?! Um We didn't build this, Mom.
Ha! Quick! Bust 'emâ Wait.
You didn't? Not that I'm aware of, no! Ferb? No one is going anywhere until we figure out what this is and where it came from! Hmm Let's see what this red button's all about.
Don't! Touch it! Nobody touches it! I'm calling your father.
Hey, Ferb.
Reverse engineering, huh? Huh? I know what we're gonna do today! Think again, Bucko! Mom said "No touchee-touchee!" We don't need to touchee-touchee.
We have a portable electronic scanner, gumption, and another portable electronic scanner.
Well, I'll be watching you closely.
So don't think you can get oneâ All done, Ferb? Cool! Let's get reverse engineering! And here's the 17th century Whiskershire spring stick, which belonged to the Earl of Whiskershire.
Oh, 'scuse me for a second.
Hullo.
Honey, do you know about the thing in the front yard? Oh, yes, of course I do, honey.
I made it myself.
Do you like it? You Made that?! Ahem.
Look, darling, I'm in the middle of something right here, so I'll have to phone you back.
Butâ Okay, honey, but don't press the red button on it, will you? I want to be there when you see it, okay? Well, okay, but I'm really not very comfortable withâ Cheers, love! Bye! You know, in retrospect, I probably went a little overboard with the traps on this thing.
Alright, I'm gonna try to reach the release switch for the trap holding your arms.
Then you try to reach the steering wheel, and change our course away from Mount Kilimanjaro.
Interesting trivia.
Kilimanjaro is actually comprised of three volcanic cones.
Kibo, Shira, and the one that we're about to crash into, Mawenzi.
Cool, huh? There! Oh.
Oh, that wasn't the release.
Who knows what that did? This one should be the rightâ Okay I.
Got it! Quick! You know, Perry the Platypus, I justâ A golf course! A golf course has a lot of traps in it! That's what I should've said.
Well, it turns out your father is the one responsible for thisâ Hold on.
Is it buzzing? Yes.
Yes, it is.
Okay, stay calm! Just move away from it! Friends, bullies, Irving, at 0900 hours, a UCO, or Unidentified Crashing Object, landed in our front yard.
We've reverse-engineered a piece-by-piece duplicate of the strange object.
We have called you here to help us discover what this object is and how it works.
(Song: "What Do It Do?") What'cha gonna does when you don't know what it do? Do, do, do, do, do, do, do! It's way too big to be a buckle, and too bland to be a belly dancer! Or when it tries to guess your height, it's never right unless you're three-foot-two When you come or go, you can't tell if it waves goodbye or waves hello! And in the library it's useless 'cause it don't care when the books are due! Do, do, do, do, do, do, do It doesn't seem to understand the game is not rock-paper-scissors-spaniel! Instead of picking up the trash it started picking Lady Liberty's nose! It makes a lousy baseball umpire or brow-wiper for bongo players! And when it walks a dog it never really pays attention where it goes! Do, do, do, do, do, do, do Do, do, do, do, do What do it do? Soon, the entire village of Whiskershire began following the Earl's lead to, of courseâ Uh, do forgive me.
I-I-I'm awfully sorry.
Hello? Lawrence, you have to come home right now! This thing is freakin' me out! Uh-uh, L-Linda, my dear, I love you, but you couldn't have chosen a worse moment to go completely bonkers! I'm sorry, but I've got to call you back! Bye! Ohh, he doesn't believe me! He said I sound crazy! Ohhh, re-e-e-e-e-ally? Yeah! It's not like I'm not imagining this! Of course not! Gosh, that must be so frustrating to have someone not believe you when you're telling the truth! Oh, you don't know the half of it.
That feeling you have right now, that's how I feel every single day when you don't believe me about what Phineas and Ferb are doing! Now that you finally understand, will you come with me to the backyard? Why? Now, keep in mind how Dad just made you feel, okay? Phineas and Ferb have reverse-engineered and built an exact duplicate of this thing, and at this very moment, they're trying to figure out what it does by forcing it to belly dance and work in a library.
Candace, honey, I love you, but you couldn't have chosen a worse moment to go completely bonkers! Pierre! Did anyone look? I betcha, like, half the people down there are looking around, like, "Who called my name?" You know, Isabella, I sometimes wonder if it was mere coincidence that it was you and I chosen to portray the young, happy couple.
"Chosen?" Baljeet, you charged to that empty chair like a crazed wolf.
Ah, here we are, madame and monsieur.
And what can I get for you this afternoon? Ah-buh-bup! Give.
Hmm Interesting.
Okay.
There's been no change in the last ten minutes.
I should call your father.
You know, Mom, I understand.
Obviously, you're not gonna come see what Phineas and Ferb are up to until this is resolved.
So here's what we're gonna do! First of all, no more calling Dad! If I don't convince you to come home to bust the boys after a couple of calls, I go get you! But what if he doesn't wanna come with me? Did that ever stop me? This statue, which stands outside the Whiskershire Rectory, still holds the Earl's actual spring stick, yes.
The spring stick is used as such.
It's placed in front of you so as to spring the hidden mousetraps to avoid capture.
Now some suggestâ Move it, Fletcher! Oh, any questions? Ah, the quaint town of Whiskershire.
It's a great place to fly nilly-willy through, manacled to a rocket skiff this time of year.
Friends, bullies, Irving, we've reached our conclusion as to the purpose of the object that landed in our front yard.
We believe that it is an anti-romance rocket created to scan for, and then eliminate romantic elements from potentially amorous situations.
Ohh.
So it's not a wedgie machine? This is gonna be awesome, Stace! So when they get home, I'm gonna drag both of them into the backyard, and it'll be a busting feeding frenzy! Bustin' feedin' frenzy, stay out of the water W-W-Wait a minute! Perry the Platypus, where are youâ? Oh! Agent P! Curse you, Perry the Platypus! Bustin' feedin' frenzy, stay out of the water It's a bustin' feedin' frenzy, stay out of the water Oh, yeah I like the way the sunlight glistens off your chrome Wow.
Two anti-romance rockets falling in love.
That's what I call "ironing".
It's a bustin' feedin' frenzy, stay out of the water It's a bustin' feedin' frenzy, stay out of the water There! Tell me that's not terrifying! It's a bustin' feedin' frenzy, stay out of the water It's a bustin' feedin' frenzy, stay out of the water I'm so sorry I doubted you.
Going down down down at the busting feeding frenzy, stay out of the water! Wait! But Candace, where did that thing go? Hm.
I don't know! But, Mom, you and Dad have to come to the backyard with me right now and see what the boys areâ Nevermind.
I wonder what would make someone want to build something to destroy romance in the first place.
Well, if you reverse-engineer the human heart, you're bound to find love at its core.
And Gross smushy red stuff! Yes.
Love and gross smushy red stuff.
And ventricles! Actually, I think ventricle is already included in gross squishy red stuff.
Yeah.
Just wait till you see the hidden surprise.
Oh, nothing? Not even a sausage? No matter.
Wait until Linda and the kids see it.
It will blow their tiny minds.
Well, not their tiny minds, that's not fair.
You're watching the UNcovery Channel.
We now return to Rrrrr? Many believe that in the 1950s, a UFO crash landed in Roswell, New Mexico.
But the scientists had no idea what the advanced technology was or how it worked.
To find out, they used a process called, reverse engineering.
By closely examining the individual parts, they were able to build their own craft and figure out what it does, and how it does what it does.
Way to go, reverse engineering! The reverse engineering craze reached its zenith in 1982 when new wave band Zanzibar released their smash reverse engineering-related hit, "What Do It Do?" Do do, do do do Cool! Hey, where's Perry? Hey, Carl, where's Agent P? Oh, he came in early today, sir.
He did? Heh.
Well, good for him.
Well, I guess we're done.
I'm going home.
Me, too? No, not you.
Doofenshmirtz Rocket-powered Jet Skiff! Ha! Close! But, no! Cigar! See, Perry the Platypus, my new jet rocket skiff has more hidden traps than Uh Um Ehâ Uh What's something with a lot of hidden traps? Huh Wow, I felt so confident going into that sentence.
Man, okay.
Anyway, you might be wondering why I got such an early start on my evil scheme today.
You see, my dating life has been a seemingly endless series of disappointments.
It all started at a drive-in movie.
That's wings, you turkey Okay, the coast is clear! You can come out now! Eww.
It's grody back here! Well, on the bright side, you got in for free, so We'll just split the cost of my ticket, right? Right? You know, I could've gotten in the trunk, like, a block away instead of when you first picked me up at my house.
Wow, you just love to live in the past, huh? Is that like a thing with you? Whatever.
Let's just try to enjoy the rest of the evening.
I am a happy robot, likey what I hear.
I'm just kidding, that's a thing I do.
C'mon, hop in! That's wings, you turkey You were listening to, "That's Wings, You Turkey" by King of Loud.
And here's a new one from Zanzibar, "What Do It Do?" (Song: "What Do It Do?") Oh, turn it up! I love this song! Do, do, do, do, do, do! Eh, it's okay, I'd say it's in my top seven, eight favorite songs about reverse engineering.
Do, do, do, what do it do? Makes me want to be a pop star! What'cha gonna does when you don't know what it do? Ha! Yeah right, and I'm going to rule the world! Well Do, do, do, do, do, do, do! Why not? Yeah, like I could do that.
What does, what does, what does, what do it do? Maybe instead of, you know The whole world Do, do, do, what do it do? Uh Start small, with the Tri-State Area.
Hey, the movie's starting! You have to put the speaker thing on the car.
No-no-no-no! Check this out.
I built this awesome device that transmits the movie sound in fifth-dimensional stereo! I just plug this in here and voila! I am a clever robot.
Bing-bong, bing-boing.
Huh.
So, can we hold hands now? Take me home.
Fine.
Get in the back.
And I never saw her again.
Oddly enough, she did become a pop star later! I'm still struggling with the whole Tri-State Area thing, but y'know, the dream is alive.
Anyway, they recently reopened that drive-in, dredging up all these unpleasant memories for me.
So, naturally, I built this.
Oh, really?! Really?! Okay, Mom.
I've gotta get to Stacy's! Love ya! Bye! Oop! Mom! Mom! Mom!! Come here! Look what Phineas and Ferb made in the front yard! Quick! Oh, yeah.
You're in suchâ The boys built that?! Yes! They're always making crazy things like this! See?! See?! What is it?! Well, obviously, it's aâ Why don't you ask/bust them?! Ask/bust us what? Do you mind telling me what this is and why you built it in our front yard?! Um We didn't build this, Mom.
Ha! Quick! Bust 'emâ Wait.
You didn't? Not that I'm aware of, no! Ferb? No one is going anywhere until we figure out what this is and where it came from! Hmm Let's see what this red button's all about.
Don't! Touch it! Nobody touches it! I'm calling your father.
Hey, Ferb.
Reverse engineering, huh? Huh? I know what we're gonna do today! Think again, Bucko! Mom said "No touchee-touchee!" We don't need to touchee-touchee.
We have a portable electronic scanner, gumption, and another portable electronic scanner.
Well, I'll be watching you closely.
So don't think you can get oneâ All done, Ferb? Cool! Let's get reverse engineering! And here's the 17th century Whiskershire spring stick, which belonged to the Earl of Whiskershire.
Oh, 'scuse me for a second.
Hullo.
Honey, do you know about the thing in the front yard? Oh, yes, of course I do, honey.
I made it myself.
Do you like it? You Made that?! Ahem.
Look, darling, I'm in the middle of something right here, so I'll have to phone you back.
Butâ Okay, honey, but don't press the red button on it, will you? I want to be there when you see it, okay? Well, okay, but I'm really not very comfortable withâ Cheers, love! Bye! You know, in retrospect, I probably went a little overboard with the traps on this thing.
Alright, I'm gonna try to reach the release switch for the trap holding your arms.
Then you try to reach the steering wheel, and change our course away from Mount Kilimanjaro.
Interesting trivia.
Kilimanjaro is actually comprised of three volcanic cones.
Kibo, Shira, and the one that we're about to crash into, Mawenzi.
Cool, huh? There! Oh.
Oh, that wasn't the release.
Who knows what that did? This one should be the rightâ Okay I.
Got it! Quick! You know, Perry the Platypus, I justâ A golf course! A golf course has a lot of traps in it! That's what I should've said.
Well, it turns out your father is the one responsible for thisâ Hold on.
Is it buzzing? Yes.
Yes, it is.
Okay, stay calm! Just move away from it! Friends, bullies, Irving, at 0900 hours, a UCO, or Unidentified Crashing Object, landed in our front yard.
We've reverse-engineered a piece-by-piece duplicate of the strange object.
We have called you here to help us discover what this object is and how it works.
(Song: "What Do It Do?") What'cha gonna does when you don't know what it do? Do, do, do, do, do, do, do! It's way too big to be a buckle, and too bland to be a belly dancer! Or when it tries to guess your height, it's never right unless you're three-foot-two When you come or go, you can't tell if it waves goodbye or waves hello! And in the library it's useless 'cause it don't care when the books are due! Do, do, do, do, do, do, do It doesn't seem to understand the game is not rock-paper-scissors-spaniel! Instead of picking up the trash it started picking Lady Liberty's nose! It makes a lousy baseball umpire or brow-wiper for bongo players! And when it walks a dog it never really pays attention where it goes! Do, do, do, do, do, do, do Do, do, do, do, do What do it do? Soon, the entire village of Whiskershire began following the Earl's lead to, of courseâ Uh, do forgive me.
I-I-I'm awfully sorry.
Hello? Lawrence, you have to come home right now! This thing is freakin' me out! Uh-uh, L-Linda, my dear, I love you, but you couldn't have chosen a worse moment to go completely bonkers! I'm sorry, but I've got to call you back! Bye! Ohh, he doesn't believe me! He said I sound crazy! Ohhh, re-e-e-e-e-ally? Yeah! It's not like I'm not imagining this! Of course not! Gosh, that must be so frustrating to have someone not believe you when you're telling the truth! Oh, you don't know the half of it.
That feeling you have right now, that's how I feel every single day when you don't believe me about what Phineas and Ferb are doing! Now that you finally understand, will you come with me to the backyard? Why? Now, keep in mind how Dad just made you feel, okay? Phineas and Ferb have reverse-engineered and built an exact duplicate of this thing, and at this very moment, they're trying to figure out what it does by forcing it to belly dance and work in a library.
Candace, honey, I love you, but you couldn't have chosen a worse moment to go completely bonkers! Pierre! Did anyone look? I betcha, like, half the people down there are looking around, like, "Who called my name?" You know, Isabella, I sometimes wonder if it was mere coincidence that it was you and I chosen to portray the young, happy couple.
"Chosen?" Baljeet, you charged to that empty chair like a crazed wolf.
Ah, here we are, madame and monsieur.
And what can I get for you this afternoon? Ah-buh-bup! Give.
Hmm Interesting.
Okay.
There's been no change in the last ten minutes.
I should call your father.
You know, Mom, I understand.
Obviously, you're not gonna come see what Phineas and Ferb are up to until this is resolved.
So here's what we're gonna do! First of all, no more calling Dad! If I don't convince you to come home to bust the boys after a couple of calls, I go get you! But what if he doesn't wanna come with me? Did that ever stop me? This statue, which stands outside the Whiskershire Rectory, still holds the Earl's actual spring stick, yes.
The spring stick is used as such.
It's placed in front of you so as to spring the hidden mousetraps to avoid capture.
Now some suggestâ Move it, Fletcher! Oh, any questions? Ah, the quaint town of Whiskershire.
It's a great place to fly nilly-willy through, manacled to a rocket skiff this time of year.
Friends, bullies, Irving, we've reached our conclusion as to the purpose of the object that landed in our front yard.
We believe that it is an anti-romance rocket created to scan for, and then eliminate romantic elements from potentially amorous situations.
Ohh.
So it's not a wedgie machine? This is gonna be awesome, Stace! So when they get home, I'm gonna drag both of them into the backyard, and it'll be a busting feeding frenzy! Bustin' feedin' frenzy, stay out of the water W-W-Wait a minute! Perry the Platypus, where are youâ? Oh! Agent P! Curse you, Perry the Platypus! Bustin' feedin' frenzy, stay out of the water It's a bustin' feedin' frenzy, stay out of the water Oh, yeah I like the way the sunlight glistens off your chrome Wow.
Two anti-romance rockets falling in love.
That's what I call "ironing".
It's a bustin' feedin' frenzy, stay out of the water It's a bustin' feedin' frenzy, stay out of the water There! Tell me that's not terrifying! It's a bustin' feedin' frenzy, stay out of the water It's a bustin' feedin' frenzy, stay out of the water I'm so sorry I doubted you.
Going down down down at the busting feeding frenzy, stay out of the water! Wait! But Candace, where did that thing go? Hm.
I don't know! But, Mom, you and Dad have to come to the backyard with me right now and see what the boys areâ Nevermind.
I wonder what would make someone want to build something to destroy romance in the first place.
Well, if you reverse-engineer the human heart, you're bound to find love at its core.
And Gross smushy red stuff! Yes.
Love and gross smushy red stuff.
And ventricles! Actually, I think ventricle is already included in gross squishy red stuff.
Yeah.