Clarence US (2014) s02e36 Episode Script
Merry Moochmas
1 [Remote clicks.]
[Upbeat music plays.]
I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! [Music.]
Man: It's looking mid-80s through the afternoon with lows in the 70s.
[Sighs.]
Mostly clear throughout the day with some clouds Mmm.
[Sighs.]
Is something wrong, honey? Oh.
No, it's nothing.
It's just [Sighs.]
All and all, another scorcher for the holiday season.
But looking at this low-pressure zone right here, we just might get some snow this evening.
[Laughs.]
[Gasps.]
Snow?! Oh, my Gosh! I knew it! Clarence, he was just joking.
[Sighs.]
Probably shouldn't have even mentioned it.
I better grab everything.
Hurry, hurry, hurry! Geh! Okay, okay, okay.
[Phone rings.]
Come on, come on.
Pick up the phone.
- Hello? - It's gonna snow! I repeat snow is on the way! Huh? Snow? Hello? [Phone rings.]
Randell residence, Jeff speaking.
Clarence: Code white! We have a code white! Oh, geez, I better call Belson, too.
[Phone rings.]
Honey, can you get that? You heard her.
If you lose, you have to go pick up the phone.
Yeah, whatever.
[Deep voice.]
You lose.
[Snickers.]
Go get, it Mooch.
Level start.
I don't have to do what you tell me.
Oh, come on! Why would you [Growls.]
[Phone clicks.]
Belson? Hello? Belson? Come in, Belson.
You got to get your house ready for snow.
Put on all your clothes, extra underwear.
Stay war Who was that? - Uh! - Ow! Hey! [Chortles.]
Belson, are you there? Oh, no.
The phone lines are out already.
This'll be a big 'ol whopper a snow storm.
["Yankee Doodle" plays.]
[Humming.]
Hey, everybody.
Wrap up! It's gonna get chilly later! Watch out! Heard there's gonna be a lot of snow! - There we go.
- Am I burglar? [Car horns honk.]
Uh-oh, it's gonna get cold.
You're gonna freeze to death.
[Baby fusses.]
[Knock on door.]
Belson? Uh h-hi.
Hey, Mooch, I just beat your score.
Come look.
Oh, it's you.
This is my cousin Mooch.
Say hi, Mooch.
- Eh.
- [Chuckles.]
Nice.
- Eh.
- Ow! [Chuckles.]
Hmm.
He seems nice.
- Oh, Belson, here.
- What the heck is this? - It's for the snow, silly.
- What are you talking about? What am I ta Wha I believe, Belson.
I believe it will snow, for that is my winter wish, and every good boy and good girl We live in Aberdale.
I'm wearing shorts.
You're so weird.
Oh, hello Clarence.
Would you like some cookies? Go ahead and have any as you like.
I've been making them all day.
[Munching.]
Hey, Gary Mooch, is "Mooch" your real name? What? Yeah, that's my real la No.
It's not my name.
People just say that.
I don't know.
[Chomp!.]
- How come? - I don't know.
Guess 'cause I don't like sharing.
Give me that.
[Slurps.]
Mom, can I have another present? Oh, but you've already opened so many.
I just want to open one more! May I please open one more Mommy? Oh, I can't say no to my gummy bear! This better be good.
Ugh! Mom, I thought I told you no more clothes! Wow! Look at this beautiful, lovely sweater.
[High-pitched.]
Oh, hello.
[Low-pitched.]
Oh, hello.
Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Stupid milk.
Thought you guys were supposed to be rich.
You can't afford no eggnog around here? Oh, no, Gary.
It's okay.
Let me get that for ya.
Belson does this all the time.
[Chuckles.]
When's your dad getting home, Belson? What? I don't know.
He's He's working! He has a job.
Why, where's your dad, Mooch? Pfft.
I don't know.
Whatever.
You guys stink.
[Farts.]
- I hate that guy.
- Psst! Belson! We don't have a present for your cousin yet.
Your uncle just dropped him off.
Um, you and Clarence take this money - and go pick up a present for Gary.
- No way! [Singsong voice.]
If you do, I'll give you your big present early! The Game Buddy 2, huh? - All right, fine.
- Yay! Hey, Belson, how come you're always so grumpy about your cousin Mooch? I mean, is he really all that bad? Yeah, Clarence.
He's bad.
But I don't think so.
I mean, you guys play video games together, right? Whatever.
Yeah, I mean, he's not even that good at them.
Belson, he's your family! Say that he's good at them.
What? No.
I'm not gonna say that.
Belson, I want you to look at me in the eyes, and say that Mooch is good at video games.
No.
Leave me alone, Clarence! Do you think your cousin Gary will like "Puppies & Kitties 2"? [Meows.]
It looks pretty fun.
"Puppies & Kitties 1" was way better.
Besides, I don't care! I'm getting these for my new Game Buddy 2.
What?! Your mom said to get something for your cousin.
He's family! [Scanner beeping.]
And family is the reason for the season, Belson.
So, what? I didn't ask him to be born.
- I don't owe him anything! - Will that be cash or credit? Cash.
I don't need the change.
I'm not a mooch.
No, no! Please, sir, um, do you have any games for cousins to play together? Would you stop it, Clarence? Just go wait outside! [Sighs.]
That's not very nice.
'Tis the reason for the season.
Tried to tell him.
You don't even need a reason.
They're relatives! [Whirring, squeaking.]
What? ["Ode To Joy Symphony No 9" plays.]
What!? Oh, my gosh! All right, well, I think I pretty much got all the good games for the Game Belson, my winter wish! It came true! So what, Clarence? It's snow.
[Birds chirping.]
[Chuckles.]
I can't believe it! It came true! What should we do first? Maybe a snow board.
Maybe ski.
It's not even that much snow.
It's all slushy and gross.
Belson, look! [Grunts.]
Ta-da! I made a snowman! That's amazing.
Oh, my gosh.
Huh.
Well, that can't be [Crash!.]
Oh! Ohh.
It It's marvelous.
That's the spirit, Mr.
Reese! It's snow! You guys, lookie! I'm making a fort! Hi, Jeff! Enjoy my winter wish! Hi, Clarence.
Can you believe it? It's snowing! What the heck happened here? This place is a mess.
Hey, Gary Moochy! Do you see it's snowing outside? 'Cause I wished for it.
You're still here, Mooch? Thought you might have left or gotten a life.
- Yeah, well, found a Game Buddy.
- [Growls.]
Mooch! - Aah! - No, no, no, no! - Get off! - Cousin Belson! [Groans.]
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
Come on.
It's the winter season.
That's my Game Buddy 2! What are you gonna do, go crying to your mom? Gonna ask Dada for help? Your dad's never even here.
[Growls.]
Aah! Stop talking about my dad! - Get off me.
- Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Let me hit you! Just hug! I said hug! [Grunting.]
It's just a dumb game anyway.
And I opened it first, so that means it's mine.
- Finders keepers.
- No! What are you doing?! Hey! Give it back! Come on! I'm stuck! You are so boring.
[doors shut.]
[Ragged "Silent Night" plays.]
[Wind howls.]
Belson, it's really starting to snow out there.
- Is Mooch gonna be okay? - I don't care.
He stole my gift and said that stuff about my dad.
I hope his nips freeze.
- Uh, what? - No, not you, dude.
Nothing to keep him warm no friends, no soul.
Clarence! Clarence, I can't see! - This part's hard! - Belson, he's your only cousin.
I have plenty of other cousins.
Now move! Maybe on the outside he's not so nice, but maybe on the inside he's a nice little cousin boy.
And I know inside you're a nice, little cousin boy, too, Belson.
I don't care, Clarence! Man: You lose.
Hmm.
Well, don't you want to get your Game Buddy back? Fine! Let's go get it! Gary? Gary Moochy?! [wind whooshes.]
[Bells jingle.]
Clarence, this is officially your worst idea ever! [Straining.]
We got to keep going.
Gary Mooch! Gar Huh? [Sleigh bells jingle.]
Wha What is that? [Gasps.]
Belson, look! Clarence, there's nothing up there.
Oh, my gosh! Belson, look who it is! It's San [Screaming.]
[Game audio plays.]
Hmm? Mooch? Gary! - Ugh! - We finally found you! Don't worry.
I'll get you out of here.
Mwah! I can't believe I had to go through all this just to get my Game Buddy back.
Yeah, pfft, whatever.
You already have everything every toy, a big house, a cool mom, your dumb friend.
I don't have everything.
Just give me my game back.
Try and take it if you want it so bad.
Give it back, Gary, you mooch! Hey! [Grunts.]
I'm not done with this level.
[Sighs.]
Cousin love.
Don't worry, guys! I'm coming! [Grunts.]
No, no, no, no, no, no! [Groans.]
Clarence, you broke my Game Buddy 2! Hey, you can't just break my cousin's game and get away with it! [Laughs.]
Hey, are you Belsons gonna help me make a snowman? I'll help you build that snowman! [Giggles.]
Good one.
Yeah, not bad, cuz.
Check this out.
[Giggling continues.]
You like that, don't you? - That's for my Game Buddy! - You guys aww You're finally getting a You're finally You're finally You're finally getting along.
[Fiendish laughter.]
Do you want to get out of here? Yeah, let's go.
My nips are freezing.
You want to play two player? I lied earlier.
You can do it.
[Wind whistling.]
Tis the reason for the season You don't need a reason [Sleigh bells jingle.]
[Gasps.]
What? What-ze-bah?
[Upbeat music plays.]
I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! [Music.]
Man: It's looking mid-80s through the afternoon with lows in the 70s.
[Sighs.]
Mostly clear throughout the day with some clouds Mmm.
[Sighs.]
Is something wrong, honey? Oh.
No, it's nothing.
It's just [Sighs.]
All and all, another scorcher for the holiday season.
But looking at this low-pressure zone right here, we just might get some snow this evening.
[Laughs.]
[Gasps.]
Snow?! Oh, my Gosh! I knew it! Clarence, he was just joking.
[Sighs.]
Probably shouldn't have even mentioned it.
I better grab everything.
Hurry, hurry, hurry! Geh! Okay, okay, okay.
[Phone rings.]
Come on, come on.
Pick up the phone.
- Hello? - It's gonna snow! I repeat snow is on the way! Huh? Snow? Hello? [Phone rings.]
Randell residence, Jeff speaking.
Clarence: Code white! We have a code white! Oh, geez, I better call Belson, too.
[Phone rings.]
Honey, can you get that? You heard her.
If you lose, you have to go pick up the phone.
Yeah, whatever.
[Deep voice.]
You lose.
[Snickers.]
Go get, it Mooch.
Level start.
I don't have to do what you tell me.
Oh, come on! Why would you [Growls.]
[Phone clicks.]
Belson? Hello? Belson? Come in, Belson.
You got to get your house ready for snow.
Put on all your clothes, extra underwear.
Stay war Who was that? - Uh! - Ow! Hey! [Chortles.]
Belson, are you there? Oh, no.
The phone lines are out already.
This'll be a big 'ol whopper a snow storm.
["Yankee Doodle" plays.]
[Humming.]
Hey, everybody.
Wrap up! It's gonna get chilly later! Watch out! Heard there's gonna be a lot of snow! - There we go.
- Am I burglar? [Car horns honk.]
Uh-oh, it's gonna get cold.
You're gonna freeze to death.
[Baby fusses.]
[Knock on door.]
Belson? Uh h-hi.
Hey, Mooch, I just beat your score.
Come look.
Oh, it's you.
This is my cousin Mooch.
Say hi, Mooch.
- Eh.
- [Chuckles.]
Nice.
- Eh.
- Ow! [Chuckles.]
Hmm.
He seems nice.
- Oh, Belson, here.
- What the heck is this? - It's for the snow, silly.
- What are you talking about? What am I ta Wha I believe, Belson.
I believe it will snow, for that is my winter wish, and every good boy and good girl We live in Aberdale.
I'm wearing shorts.
You're so weird.
Oh, hello Clarence.
Would you like some cookies? Go ahead and have any as you like.
I've been making them all day.
[Munching.]
Hey, Gary Mooch, is "Mooch" your real name? What? Yeah, that's my real la No.
It's not my name.
People just say that.
I don't know.
[Chomp!.]
- How come? - I don't know.
Guess 'cause I don't like sharing.
Give me that.
[Slurps.]
Mom, can I have another present? Oh, but you've already opened so many.
I just want to open one more! May I please open one more Mommy? Oh, I can't say no to my gummy bear! This better be good.
Ugh! Mom, I thought I told you no more clothes! Wow! Look at this beautiful, lovely sweater.
[High-pitched.]
Oh, hello.
[Low-pitched.]
Oh, hello.
Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Stupid milk.
Thought you guys were supposed to be rich.
You can't afford no eggnog around here? Oh, no, Gary.
It's okay.
Let me get that for ya.
Belson does this all the time.
[Chuckles.]
When's your dad getting home, Belson? What? I don't know.
He's He's working! He has a job.
Why, where's your dad, Mooch? Pfft.
I don't know.
Whatever.
You guys stink.
[Farts.]
- I hate that guy.
- Psst! Belson! We don't have a present for your cousin yet.
Your uncle just dropped him off.
Um, you and Clarence take this money - and go pick up a present for Gary.
- No way! [Singsong voice.]
If you do, I'll give you your big present early! The Game Buddy 2, huh? - All right, fine.
- Yay! Hey, Belson, how come you're always so grumpy about your cousin Mooch? I mean, is he really all that bad? Yeah, Clarence.
He's bad.
But I don't think so.
I mean, you guys play video games together, right? Whatever.
Yeah, I mean, he's not even that good at them.
Belson, he's your family! Say that he's good at them.
What? No.
I'm not gonna say that.
Belson, I want you to look at me in the eyes, and say that Mooch is good at video games.
No.
Leave me alone, Clarence! Do you think your cousin Gary will like "Puppies & Kitties 2"? [Meows.]
It looks pretty fun.
"Puppies & Kitties 1" was way better.
Besides, I don't care! I'm getting these for my new Game Buddy 2.
What?! Your mom said to get something for your cousin.
He's family! [Scanner beeping.]
And family is the reason for the season, Belson.
So, what? I didn't ask him to be born.
- I don't owe him anything! - Will that be cash or credit? Cash.
I don't need the change.
I'm not a mooch.
No, no! Please, sir, um, do you have any games for cousins to play together? Would you stop it, Clarence? Just go wait outside! [Sighs.]
That's not very nice.
'Tis the reason for the season.
Tried to tell him.
You don't even need a reason.
They're relatives! [Whirring, squeaking.]
What? ["Ode To Joy Symphony No 9" plays.]
What!? Oh, my gosh! All right, well, I think I pretty much got all the good games for the Game Belson, my winter wish! It came true! So what, Clarence? It's snow.
[Birds chirping.]
[Chuckles.]
I can't believe it! It came true! What should we do first? Maybe a snow board.
Maybe ski.
It's not even that much snow.
It's all slushy and gross.
Belson, look! [Grunts.]
Ta-da! I made a snowman! That's amazing.
Oh, my gosh.
Huh.
Well, that can't be [Crash!.]
Oh! Ohh.
It It's marvelous.
That's the spirit, Mr.
Reese! It's snow! You guys, lookie! I'm making a fort! Hi, Jeff! Enjoy my winter wish! Hi, Clarence.
Can you believe it? It's snowing! What the heck happened here? This place is a mess.
Hey, Gary Moochy! Do you see it's snowing outside? 'Cause I wished for it.
You're still here, Mooch? Thought you might have left or gotten a life.
- Yeah, well, found a Game Buddy.
- [Growls.]
Mooch! - Aah! - No, no, no, no! - Get off! - Cousin Belson! [Groans.]
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
Come on.
It's the winter season.
That's my Game Buddy 2! What are you gonna do, go crying to your mom? Gonna ask Dada for help? Your dad's never even here.
[Growls.]
Aah! Stop talking about my dad! - Get off me.
- Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Let me hit you! Just hug! I said hug! [Grunting.]
It's just a dumb game anyway.
And I opened it first, so that means it's mine.
- Finders keepers.
- No! What are you doing?! Hey! Give it back! Come on! I'm stuck! You are so boring.
[doors shut.]
[Ragged "Silent Night" plays.]
[Wind howls.]
Belson, it's really starting to snow out there.
- Is Mooch gonna be okay? - I don't care.
He stole my gift and said that stuff about my dad.
I hope his nips freeze.
- Uh, what? - No, not you, dude.
Nothing to keep him warm no friends, no soul.
Clarence! Clarence, I can't see! - This part's hard! - Belson, he's your only cousin.
I have plenty of other cousins.
Now move! Maybe on the outside he's not so nice, but maybe on the inside he's a nice little cousin boy.
And I know inside you're a nice, little cousin boy, too, Belson.
I don't care, Clarence! Man: You lose.
Hmm.
Well, don't you want to get your Game Buddy back? Fine! Let's go get it! Gary? Gary Moochy?! [wind whooshes.]
[Bells jingle.]
Clarence, this is officially your worst idea ever! [Straining.]
We got to keep going.
Gary Mooch! Gar Huh? [Sleigh bells jingle.]
Wha What is that? [Gasps.]
Belson, look! Clarence, there's nothing up there.
Oh, my gosh! Belson, look who it is! It's San [Screaming.]
[Game audio plays.]
Hmm? Mooch? Gary! - Ugh! - We finally found you! Don't worry.
I'll get you out of here.
Mwah! I can't believe I had to go through all this just to get my Game Buddy back.
Yeah, pfft, whatever.
You already have everything every toy, a big house, a cool mom, your dumb friend.
I don't have everything.
Just give me my game back.
Try and take it if you want it so bad.
Give it back, Gary, you mooch! Hey! [Grunts.]
I'm not done with this level.
[Sighs.]
Cousin love.
Don't worry, guys! I'm coming! [Grunts.]
No, no, no, no, no, no! [Groans.]
Clarence, you broke my Game Buddy 2! Hey, you can't just break my cousin's game and get away with it! [Laughs.]
Hey, are you Belsons gonna help me make a snowman? I'll help you build that snowman! [Giggles.]
Good one.
Yeah, not bad, cuz.
Check this out.
[Giggling continues.]
You like that, don't you? - That's for my Game Buddy! - You guys aww You're finally getting a You're finally You're finally You're finally getting along.
[Fiendish laughter.]
Do you want to get out of here? Yeah, let's go.
My nips are freezing.
You want to play two player? I lied earlier.
You can do it.
[Wind whistling.]
Tis the reason for the season You don't need a reason [Sleigh bells jingle.]
[Gasps.]
What? What-ze-bah?