Phineas and Ferb s02e38 Episode Script

by ashirogi27 So, what's the plan today, Dad? Well, your mother's jazz trio has a gig at the Mayor's Day festivities, and I shall be running the antiques auction, oh, yes! I'm very excited because we have a collection of steamrollers on the block, all imported from England.
You're kidding.
There's a market for that? Oh, you'd be surprised, what with Steamroller Today magazine and Wacky Steamroller videos posted on the Internet.
The public is going crazy for the flattening arts.
Pfff.
People and their silly trends.
Hey, Mom, can I get a pink streak in my hair? Why would you do that? To express my individuality! Everyone's doing it! No! Alright, well, I'm all set.
I've got my lucky guitar strings, I'm wearing my lucky underwear, and, of course, I've got my– Oh, no! My lucky gold guitar pick! It's wedged in the wall.
Oh, here.
Try my lucky butter knife.
Oh, it's too far in.
You gave me that for our anniversary.
Oh, don't worry, love.
I'll get a contractor in here to retrieve it.
I hate the idea of someone cutting a hole in my nice wall.
Well, I can't worry about it right now.
I've got music to make! Whoa, yes, we'd better go.
See you kids at the festival later, okay? Bye! Good luck! I know what we're gonna do today, Ferb! Hey, where's Perry? Computer authorizing DNA.
One moment please.
Access granted.
Morning, Agent P.
How do you like the new spitoon lair entrance? Anyway, your mission.
Mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz is being honored today with a statue at the Mayor's Day Festival.
Considering Doofenshmirtz's hatred for his brother, the forecast suggests mild tomfoolery with a sixty percent chance of slapstick violence.
Good luck, Agent P.
Now on to Tom Perkins with sports.
We're done, Ferb.
What'cha doin'? We just built a device that temporarily scrambles your molecules, so you can pass through solid objects.
Let's see if it works.
(Song: Just Passing Through) Now, listen up.
When there's an obstacle in my way I don't let it ruin my day And I don't walk around it Like other people do You can scramble my molecules 'Cause I'm just passin' through! If there's an immovable object in front of you Takin' up the entire street Don't skirt around the edge Don't go over it or under it Never admit defeat! Let's say you're in a big brick room With no windows or doors A cast-iron ceiling and a concrete floor I got a quantum-physical solution just for you! You just scramble them molecules You're just a-passing through! So just scramble them molecules You're just passing through Hey, we almost forgot! We have to get that pick for Mom! I'll be right back.
So, I asked Jeremy if he was going to the festival and he's like, "Yeah, are you going to the festival?", and then I go– Hey.
Hey.
Got it.
Call you back, Stacy.
Hey Candace, we're heading out to the festival.
See ya! Mom? Hello? Candace? Mom, I know this sounds crazy.
I mean, no crazier than all my other calls.
You've got a gig, you're upset about losing your lucky pick.
Like, you're going to come home now and see what I'm rambling on about.
No, you know, I should bring the ball to you! Yeah, that's a good idea.
Mom, forget this call ever happened.
Bye! What? Doofenshmirtz flatbed microbus! You see bobblehead Perry the Platypus, I have created a powerful -inator that will deface anything it contacts! Including my brother Roger's statue that's being unveiled at today's festival.
It's going to humiliate him! Isn't that genius, bobblehead Perry the Platypus? Bobblehead Perry the Platypus! Oh, yes.
So, you agree.
You know, I miss our little talks, don't you? Oh, what do you know anyway? Walk through walls, eh? Okay, now I'm mad.
You've outdone yourselves boys.
Wait 'til Mom sees this.
Citizens of Danville, it is an honor to be your mayor and a pleasure to serve.
Oh, no, Roger.
It is I who will be serving you.
Hm! Ugh, okay, push up, and Those are my keys, aren't they? No, I-I don't have my card.
Yes, the keys are still in there and– And it's running.
O-Okay, now it's not running, now I need gas.
Forty-five minutes, huh? Well, I'm not going anywhere.
Eh, well, at least I can get my -inator.
As we get closer to unveiling this perfect replica of my body Perry the Plat– Hey! What? That's a– I-It's an arts and crafts project! I've got a life outside of you! Hey-ah! Curse you, Perry the bobblehead! Oh, no! Bummer, I have a flat! No problem.
We can fix it.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, what you've all been waiting to bid on.
I give you, the antique steamrollers! They're so beautiful! Steamrollers stink! Yeah, pump trolleys rule! It's the Wilkins brothers! Just ignore them, Arlene.
They try to cause trouble at every steam-powered antique auction in the Tri-State Area.
Shall we start the bidding? Hey, Candace! Enjoy your last moments of freedom, boys! Well, you might have destroyed Plan A, but behold! Plan B! Which I have just destroyed, so now we're even.
But not even I am prepared for Plan C! Behold! The Be-Gone-Inator! How do you like me now, Perry the Gone-a-pus? Eh, so I missed.
Oh, whatever, I have a bigger bother to be-gone.
Goodbye, stupid Roger statue! And Lot Number 2 is a little beaut from Aveling & Porter built in 1924.
Do I have any bids? I do! I do! I do! I do! Here! No one's paying a lick of attention to us, Wilbur.
Yeah! Let's get out of here.
So how long does it take you to fix a flat? Tick tock! Excuse me.
Pardon me.
Coming through! Ugh! You can build a rollercoaster in a day, but it takes you 12 minutes to pump up a tire? Did anybody else just see the inside of a steamroller? How do you know what the inside of a steamroller looks like? I have a life outside of you! Well, the tire's fixed.
And Lot Number 5 is sold to the woman in red.
And now the last item of the day, we have Lot 6.
Do I have any bids? Mom! Mom! Hmm.
What are the odds? Hey, Mom! I'm glad we caught you.
Ferb and I found your lucky gold pick.
Oh, boys! Thank you! What a relief.
I just hate playing without it.
Mom! Mom! Look at this! Look at me! Linda! We're on! Mom! Candace, I've gotta go.
And just because I won't let you get pink hair, you don't have to wear some weird door.
The trends these days But, but! Cool door, Candace.
Let's get a good spot.
I'd wear a door.
Heck, I'd even wear a window if it'd fit.
Hey, guys.
Oh, no! Jeremy! You seen Candace? She's standing in the door.
Thanks.
Oh, no! Oh, no! Jeremy can't see me like this.
Oh my g–! Oh, no! Candace? and four.
And breathe.
Whew, just doing some stretching.
Oh, hi, Jeremy.
So, our moms are going to start playing when they unveil the statue.
Wanna go? Sure.
And now, without further ado! Well, Ferb, it looks like everything worked out for everyone today.
I can't believe nothing worked out for me today.
After I– I-I had a A, B, and C and they all– –'course I destroyed the B, so– Hey, where are you going? Curse you, Perry the Platypus! Hey, look at that! A pump-less pump trolley! Now, that's old school.