The Real Ghostbusters (1986) s02e45 Episode Script
Bustman's Holiday
1
Ghostbusters! ♪
There's something strange ♪
In the neighborhood ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
There's something weird ♪
And it don't look good ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
I told you it was a mistake,
but no, you had to bring him along.
Hey, sorry, Peter,
but I think he looks good up there.
Come on, you can't stay up there.
Boy, when they made you,
they broke the mold.
He is the mold.
Well, I think he's cute.
Ah, I'm cute.
Cute? He scared the socks off
of everyone who saw him.
We're supposed to inspire confidence, Ray,
not coronaries.
Would you be Mr. Raymond Stantz?
No, not by choice.
This job is getting too heavy.
I need to get away.
I need a vacation.
Have you considered Libya?
Excuse me, Ray,
this gentleman would like a word with you.
Me?
Would you be Raymond Stantz
who had an uncle named Andrew McMillan?
Yeah, I guess so.
We write to each other
every year at Christmas.
Well, not this Christmas.
Your uncle has died.
Oh, Dr. Stantz, I'm so sorry.
Thanks, but I never met my Uncle Andrew.
We just wrote letters.
No, don't tell me.
He left Ray something in his will, right?
Aye, his castle.
He's out cold.
Here, Egon.
Uh, thank you.
Did you say, "A castle"?
Aye, that I did. In Argyllshire.
Castle, title, manor house,
moat and grounds,
goat and mounds, 640 acres in all.
What's the catch?
Yeah. Uncle Andrew must have had kinfolk
closer than Ray here.
Oh, that he does,
and a bigger bunch
of freeloaders you'll never see.
Your uncle hated them,
but he couldn't just cut them out.
So there is indeed a condition.
Uh-huh? What condition?
Your uncle was plagued throughout his life
by a ghost.
The person to exorcise
that ghost gets the castle
and the title that goes with it--
Duke of Dunkeld.
Me? A duke? Holy cow!
Aye. And the first person
your uncle named to try is you.
Will you come to Scotland, then, sir?
What do you say, Peter?
A castle!
I wanted a vacation,
not an out-of-town job.
Wow, I'll figure!
We're in Scotland!
We're in a Scottish airport, Ray.
But, Peter, I feel home.
Ray, you're about as Scottish
as a Big Mac.
Will you cool it
before they deport us as undesirable?
You're late, gentlemen.
I'm Dr. Peter Venkman.
Uh, you must be Lenny, the executor.
Angus Lenny.
Can we get on with it?
This ghost
Yes?
Is it a free-floating repeater
or a simple roaming vapor?
I don't know any of those, mate,
but it shouldn't give you any trouble.
It's just a wee ghostie,
what we call a Keystone Ghost.
See, Peter? I told you
there was nothing to worry about.
Thank you, Ray.
I feel so much better.
Wow, look at that.
Who are we fighting? The English?
No, lad. The Battle of Dunkeld
was a clan squabble.
Highlanders against lowlanders.
Very nasty.
There it is. Castle Dunkeld.
Wow!
Wow.
Who are they?
They come with the castle, sir.
Ha-ha! They are the staff.
They work here
and are paid out of the castle treasury.
You mean there's a treasure, too?
I think we better get Peter Pan to bed.
I can see why there's a ghost.
That bed would kill anything.
Seen anything of a ghost?
I was just
looking for the bathroom.
Maybe Ray knows where it is.
There he is. What a guy.
He takes care of everything.
Ray, do you know where--
Is this my wakeup call?
No, I think room service
just sent up a ghost.
This is hot, Peter.
This is a live one.
Oh, no, Dr. Spengler.
I assure you, it's quite dead.
I thought you said this was a wee ghostie.
Well, it was.
It's the spirit of the Battle of Dunkeld.
But it appears that it is getting worse.
Very perceptive.
All right, gentlemen,
what say we bag ourselves a ghost?
Peter, where are you?
Peter?
I'm right here.
Where are you?
Hey, man, stop kidding around.
We're dealing with a serious ghost here.
OK, I'm sorry.
We've got him.
He's coming down the main stairway.
Try not to damage my castle, OK?
Right, Ray.
- Where's Peter?
- I don't know.
Hey, look, light.
Slime Ball in the side pocket.
Peter! Am I glad to see you.
Yeah, well, come on, Your Dukeness,
before that thing gets away.
Where do you figure
this comes out?
Up there. I see a light.
Hey, we're outside.
I'd heard some of these castles
had escape tunnels.
I guess he'd heard it, too.
There he goes.
Let's get it. Is the trap ready?
-Yep.
-Let's do it.
Go, Ray, go!
Got him!
Worked like a charm.
Always does.
Just call me Duke Ray I.
That wasn't so hard, was it, Peter?
Nope, easy as pie.
However, they look
far from happy about it.
This is crazy. What is this place?
I'm gonna find out.
How many of those things
you think are out there?
-Thank you.
Rough guess would have been fine.
This is gonna be tricky.
That's it. Right this way.
I'm sure you'll enjoy this
at least as much as we do.
I was afraid of this.
Uh, so why don't you enlighten us
before I hang you over the side
as a target?
Legend has it that one man
caused the battle with a rash act,
and the one ghost pays for all.
Yo, what does that mean
in English, my man?
I told you, a Keystone Ghost,
the one that holds the others in place.
He is condemned to roam
so the rest can sleep peacefully.
So when we capture that one
We let the others loose.
You knew and you let us do it!
'Twas a legend, lad!
I didn't believe it!
Well, at least
they're only fighting each other, right?
No. They're re-fighting Dunkeld.
At dawn, the history books say,
the highlanders pushed the lowlanders
down into the village
and massacred everyone.
Then they'll do the same.
They'll surprise the villagers
and kill them all.
Then we'll just have to take them out
before that happens.
Come on.
Hold it.
What is it, Egon?
This won't work. Think.
Even if we catch them,
where do we put them?
Oh, no.
That's right.
I only brought two traps.
There are hundreds of ghosts.
Then there's nothing we can do.
It's gonna happen all over again
and we can't stop it.
It's my fault.
If I'm the Duke, it's my responsibility.
And there is something I can do, I hope.
I need to get to the village fast.
There's a bicycle in the gatehouse.
It'll do.
OK, guys, cover me. Now!
You heard the man.
Just like Moses parting the Red Sea.
Let's do it!
Whoa!
Oh, good. Now we made them mad.
Better us than Ray.
Keep firing.
Excuse me. Hello!
Who is it? Are you daft,
waking a person up at this hour?
Please, sir, this is an emergency.
I'm the new Duke of Dunkeld.
And I'm Dick Whittington's cat.
Be off with you.
Then can you tell me where I can get
about $1,000 worth of electronics gear
in a hurry?
Did you say $1,000?
Maybe $2,000.
Come in, Your Lordship.
Fighting together,
giving only inch by painful inch.
We made it, huh?
Like the Alamo.
Peter, we lost the Alamo.
Oh, yeah. Right.
Like what, then?
Like, where's Ray?
He better get here soon.
We can't hold these things
off much longer.
We're halfway
to the village already.
All right, is everyone clear
what needs to be done?
This will call for split-second timing.
Can you do it?
Oh, aye, we can.
But why should we? It's death out there.
Because I'm the new Duke of Dunkeld.
And there's 100 bucks
in it for each of you.
-I will.
-How much is that in pounds?
Count me in there, Your Lordship.
I'm out of charge.
Getting low here, too.
Uh-oh. Look.
They're breaking for the village.
Well, I've got a few shots left.
Save it.
It won't do any good.
All those poor people.
What is that?
Peter, Egon, Winston,
drive them this way!
That is a miracle.
Ray did it!
Come on.
Ghostbusters! ♪
Now!
Ghostbusters! ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
It's working. Look!
Leave it to Ray
to turn garbage trucks into ghost traps.
Ready!
Peter!
Boy, am I glad to see you guys.
He's glad?
Ray Stantz, you boy genius, you.
OK, Your Lordship, we got them.
But what do we do with them?
Drive the trucks off and bury them.
Keep those degaussing wires
connected to storage batteries
until the ghosts de-resolve.
But you did not tell me about this part.
Who's gonna pay for the trucks?
Uh, you wouldn't wanna leave
before they answer the big question.
Yeah, you should be interested.
It concerns money.
Well, I've been talking
to Mr. Mackintosh here,
who knows all the local politics.
It seems that Mr. Lenny lied to us.
He isn't the executor.
He works for my uncle's relatives.
That's right, Your Lordship.
He was figuring to make you look bad
and to ruin your chances
so all McMillan's thieving kin
could get the castle.
You knew the sort of trouble we'd cause
if we trapped that ghost,
but you let us go ahead.
You risked the lives of all these people
so you could steal the castle.
What should we do with him, Ray?
Aye! Aye!
What are you going to do, Your Lordship?
That's right. I'm the Duke, aren't I?
OK. I could turn Mr. Lenny over
to the police,
but I won't, if he replaces the trucks.
Oh, aye, I will.
Well, that's all well and fine,
but it'll take weeks to get new trucks.
What do we do with the garbage
in the meantime?
Perhaps Mr. Lenny would be willing
to take care of that as well.
Pick it up and store it at his place.
Aye, I could do that.
Good.
And, as far as I'm concerned,
the other relatives
can live in the castle.
As long as they pay rent
to the village of Dunkeld.
I'm gonna turn the castle
over to the village.
I wasn't cut out to be a duke anyway.
Aye, three cheers
for the Duke. Hip, hip, hurray!
Hey, Peter.
Let me guess
That's right.
A gift from the village of Dunkeld.
One for each of us.
And a little something extra for Ray.
No, they wouldn't.
They did.
Couldn't they have
sent the ghost instead?
Ghostbusters! ♪
There's something strange ♪
In the neighborhood ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
There's something weird ♪
And it don't look good ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
I told you it was a mistake,
but no, you had to bring him along.
Hey, sorry, Peter,
but I think he looks good up there.
Come on, you can't stay up there.
Boy, when they made you,
they broke the mold.
He is the mold.
Well, I think he's cute.
Ah, I'm cute.
Cute? He scared the socks off
of everyone who saw him.
We're supposed to inspire confidence, Ray,
not coronaries.
Would you be Mr. Raymond Stantz?
No, not by choice.
This job is getting too heavy.
I need to get away.
I need a vacation.
Have you considered Libya?
Excuse me, Ray,
this gentleman would like a word with you.
Me?
Would you be Raymond Stantz
who had an uncle named Andrew McMillan?
Yeah, I guess so.
We write to each other
every year at Christmas.
Well, not this Christmas.
Your uncle has died.
Oh, Dr. Stantz, I'm so sorry.
Thanks, but I never met my Uncle Andrew.
We just wrote letters.
No, don't tell me.
He left Ray something in his will, right?
Aye, his castle.
He's out cold.
Here, Egon.
Uh, thank you.
Did you say, "A castle"?
Aye, that I did. In Argyllshire.
Castle, title, manor house,
moat and grounds,
goat and mounds, 640 acres in all.
What's the catch?
Yeah. Uncle Andrew must have had kinfolk
closer than Ray here.
Oh, that he does,
and a bigger bunch
of freeloaders you'll never see.
Your uncle hated them,
but he couldn't just cut them out.
So there is indeed a condition.
Uh-huh? What condition?
Your uncle was plagued throughout his life
by a ghost.
The person to exorcise
that ghost gets the castle
and the title that goes with it--
Duke of Dunkeld.
Me? A duke? Holy cow!
Aye. And the first person
your uncle named to try is you.
Will you come to Scotland, then, sir?
What do you say, Peter?
A castle!
I wanted a vacation,
not an out-of-town job.
Wow, I'll figure!
We're in Scotland!
We're in a Scottish airport, Ray.
But, Peter, I feel home.
Ray, you're about as Scottish
as a Big Mac.
Will you cool it
before they deport us as undesirable?
You're late, gentlemen.
I'm Dr. Peter Venkman.
Uh, you must be Lenny, the executor.
Angus Lenny.
Can we get on with it?
This ghost
Yes?
Is it a free-floating repeater
or a simple roaming vapor?
I don't know any of those, mate,
but it shouldn't give you any trouble.
It's just a wee ghostie,
what we call a Keystone Ghost.
See, Peter? I told you
there was nothing to worry about.
Thank you, Ray.
I feel so much better.
Wow, look at that.
Who are we fighting? The English?
No, lad. The Battle of Dunkeld
was a clan squabble.
Highlanders against lowlanders.
Very nasty.
There it is. Castle Dunkeld.
Wow!
Wow.
Who are they?
They come with the castle, sir.
Ha-ha! They are the staff.
They work here
and are paid out of the castle treasury.
You mean there's a treasure, too?
I think we better get Peter Pan to bed.
I can see why there's a ghost.
That bed would kill anything.
Seen anything of a ghost?
I was just
looking for the bathroom.
Maybe Ray knows where it is.
There he is. What a guy.
He takes care of everything.
Ray, do you know where--
Is this my wakeup call?
No, I think room service
just sent up a ghost.
This is hot, Peter.
This is a live one.
Oh, no, Dr. Spengler.
I assure you, it's quite dead.
I thought you said this was a wee ghostie.
Well, it was.
It's the spirit of the Battle of Dunkeld.
But it appears that it is getting worse.
Very perceptive.
All right, gentlemen,
what say we bag ourselves a ghost?
Peter, where are you?
Peter?
I'm right here.
Where are you?
Hey, man, stop kidding around.
We're dealing with a serious ghost here.
OK, I'm sorry.
We've got him.
He's coming down the main stairway.
Try not to damage my castle, OK?
Right, Ray.
- Where's Peter?
- I don't know.
Hey, look, light.
Slime Ball in the side pocket.
Peter! Am I glad to see you.
Yeah, well, come on, Your Dukeness,
before that thing gets away.
Where do you figure
this comes out?
Up there. I see a light.
Hey, we're outside.
I'd heard some of these castles
had escape tunnels.
I guess he'd heard it, too.
There he goes.
Let's get it. Is the trap ready?
-Yep.
-Let's do it.
Go, Ray, go!
Got him!
Worked like a charm.
Always does.
Just call me Duke Ray I.
That wasn't so hard, was it, Peter?
Nope, easy as pie.
However, they look
far from happy about it.
This is crazy. What is this place?
I'm gonna find out.
How many of those things
you think are out there?
-Thank you.
Rough guess would have been fine.
This is gonna be tricky.
That's it. Right this way.
I'm sure you'll enjoy this
at least as much as we do.
I was afraid of this.
Uh, so why don't you enlighten us
before I hang you over the side
as a target?
Legend has it that one man
caused the battle with a rash act,
and the one ghost pays for all.
Yo, what does that mean
in English, my man?
I told you, a Keystone Ghost,
the one that holds the others in place.
He is condemned to roam
so the rest can sleep peacefully.
So when we capture that one
We let the others loose.
You knew and you let us do it!
'Twas a legend, lad!
I didn't believe it!
Well, at least
they're only fighting each other, right?
No. They're re-fighting Dunkeld.
At dawn, the history books say,
the highlanders pushed the lowlanders
down into the village
and massacred everyone.
Then they'll do the same.
They'll surprise the villagers
and kill them all.
Then we'll just have to take them out
before that happens.
Come on.
Hold it.
What is it, Egon?
This won't work. Think.
Even if we catch them,
where do we put them?
Oh, no.
That's right.
I only brought two traps.
There are hundreds of ghosts.
Then there's nothing we can do.
It's gonna happen all over again
and we can't stop it.
It's my fault.
If I'm the Duke, it's my responsibility.
And there is something I can do, I hope.
I need to get to the village fast.
There's a bicycle in the gatehouse.
It'll do.
OK, guys, cover me. Now!
You heard the man.
Just like Moses parting the Red Sea.
Let's do it!
Whoa!
Oh, good. Now we made them mad.
Better us than Ray.
Keep firing.
Excuse me. Hello!
Who is it? Are you daft,
waking a person up at this hour?
Please, sir, this is an emergency.
I'm the new Duke of Dunkeld.
And I'm Dick Whittington's cat.
Be off with you.
Then can you tell me where I can get
about $1,000 worth of electronics gear
in a hurry?
Did you say $1,000?
Maybe $2,000.
Come in, Your Lordship.
Fighting together,
giving only inch by painful inch.
We made it, huh?
Like the Alamo.
Peter, we lost the Alamo.
Oh, yeah. Right.
Like what, then?
Like, where's Ray?
He better get here soon.
We can't hold these things
off much longer.
We're halfway
to the village already.
All right, is everyone clear
what needs to be done?
This will call for split-second timing.
Can you do it?
Oh, aye, we can.
But why should we? It's death out there.
Because I'm the new Duke of Dunkeld.
And there's 100 bucks
in it for each of you.
-I will.
-How much is that in pounds?
Count me in there, Your Lordship.
I'm out of charge.
Getting low here, too.
Uh-oh. Look.
They're breaking for the village.
Well, I've got a few shots left.
Save it.
It won't do any good.
All those poor people.
What is that?
Peter, Egon, Winston,
drive them this way!
That is a miracle.
Ray did it!
Come on.
Ghostbusters! ♪
Now!
Ghostbusters! ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
It's working. Look!
Leave it to Ray
to turn garbage trucks into ghost traps.
Ready!
Peter!
Boy, am I glad to see you guys.
He's glad?
Ray Stantz, you boy genius, you.
OK, Your Lordship, we got them.
But what do we do with them?
Drive the trucks off and bury them.
Keep those degaussing wires
connected to storage batteries
until the ghosts de-resolve.
But you did not tell me about this part.
Who's gonna pay for the trucks?
Uh, you wouldn't wanna leave
before they answer the big question.
Yeah, you should be interested.
It concerns money.
Well, I've been talking
to Mr. Mackintosh here,
who knows all the local politics.
It seems that Mr. Lenny lied to us.
He isn't the executor.
He works for my uncle's relatives.
That's right, Your Lordship.
He was figuring to make you look bad
and to ruin your chances
so all McMillan's thieving kin
could get the castle.
You knew the sort of trouble we'd cause
if we trapped that ghost,
but you let us go ahead.
You risked the lives of all these people
so you could steal the castle.
What should we do with him, Ray?
Aye! Aye!
What are you going to do, Your Lordship?
That's right. I'm the Duke, aren't I?
OK. I could turn Mr. Lenny over
to the police,
but I won't, if he replaces the trucks.
Oh, aye, I will.
Well, that's all well and fine,
but it'll take weeks to get new trucks.
What do we do with the garbage
in the meantime?
Perhaps Mr. Lenny would be willing
to take care of that as well.
Pick it up and store it at his place.
Aye, I could do that.
Good.
And, as far as I'm concerned,
the other relatives
can live in the castle.
As long as they pay rent
to the village of Dunkeld.
I'm gonna turn the castle
over to the village.
I wasn't cut out to be a duke anyway.
Aye, three cheers
for the Duke. Hip, hip, hurray!
Hey, Peter.
Let me guess
That's right.
A gift from the village of Dunkeld.
One for each of us.
And a little something extra for Ray.
No, they wouldn't.
They did.
Couldn't they have
sent the ghost instead?