The Real Ghostbusters (1986) s02e47 Episode Script
Ain't NASA-sarily So
1
Ghostbusters ♪
There's something strange
In the neighborhood ♪
Who you going to call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
There's something weird
And it don't look good ♪
Who you going to call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
Who you going to call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
Who you going to call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
Captain's log. Friday, 13th of June.
Experimental Space Platform, Galileo
has just completed
first full day of mission.
All systems completely operational.
Crew of Galileo are in good spirits,
and are mentally and physically prepared
to set new space endurance record.
Tomorrow, we begin series of experiments
designated in mission profile.
In meantime, we are looking
forward to smooth sailing.
Dostoyevsky! What was that?
-I think we've been hit, sir.
-By what?
II don't know.
Well, find out!
Uh, yes, sir.
Sir, unable to raise base command.
We're receiving interference
from all hailing frequencies.
We're losing energy rapidly.
I do not know
if my poor engine can stand the strain.
I'll go look!
Commander Kirov!
What is it, Yeoman Whitney?
I know this sounds ridiculous, sir, but
Spit it out, Yeoman!
I could swear I've just seen a ghost, sir.
Just after we were hit,
floating down the corridor.
Pull yourself together, Yeoman.
I know what I saw, sir.
Captain, I just saw a ghost
in the engine room.
Not you too!
How are communication channels?
Hailing frequencies clearing, sir.
Patch me into one
of local telephone satellites.
And turn off that perasky siren!
Yes, sir.
Sir, who are you gonna call?
Three, two, oneLiftoff!
Hot diggity, a government contract.
-Big bucks, here we come.
-I don't know, Peter.
I'm still concerned
about how the equipment
is gonna function in zero gravity.
I've made some modifications
on this extra equipment I brought,
but they may not be totally effective.
Don't sweat it.
No company with a government contract
ever knows what it's doing.
What if the stuff doesn't work?
If it doesn't work,
you just charge more and do it again.
Don't they serve lunch on this flight?
Request permission
to bust some ghosts, sir.
Welcome aboard Space Platform
Galileo, Dr. Venkman.
We appreciate your willingness
to come all the way up here
to help us deal
with our little, uh, problem?
Hey, neither rain,
nor snow, nor gloom of night,
nor even depth of space
can keep us from our expensive rounds.
Meet my command officers.
Lieutenant Sato, Lieutenant Irahqua
and Lieutenant Commander McTavish.
They will help you with anything you need.
Do these people look familiar to you?
I was just about to ask you that.
Pardon me, Captain,
but have we met before?
Don't be ridiculous, Winston.
These people are astronauts,
space explorers.
They've been out
exploring strange new worlds,
seeking out new life
and new civilizations.
Actually, this is only our second day.
And some new life has seeked us out.
Seeked?
I will handle this. I am Captain.
Captain?
It seems some new life form
has seeked us out, Dr. Venkman.
Some of the crew
have reported seeing a ghost.
Wonderful, Captain.
What variety has seeked you?
Class-one poltergeist? Free-form floater?
Ghost of launchings past?
Really more of a slimy ball of ooze,
if you want to know the truth.
Tobin's Spirit Guide comes up blank.
Have you considered calling ooze busters?
Peter, I'm getting a heavy reading
of ectoplasmic activity
from that general direction.
Aye, that's the way to engineering.
That's where we saw the ghost.
It's empty ectoplasm.
There's no psychokinetic
energy accompanying it.
What's that mean?
The logical conclusion
is that it isn't a real ghost.
It was real enough for me!
Captain, the ghost has tapped directly
into the solar energy converter.
It's draining power faster
than the ship can convert it!
With that kind of drain,
our emergency batteries
will only last a few hours.
Artificial gravity won't last long.
A ghost hungry for power?
Maybe he used to be a politician.
Perhaps, gentlemen,
a closer look is in order.
McTavish, go with them.
Aye, sir.
You guys ever consider
paying your electric bill?
By all the heather in the Highlands!
The thing's gotten bigger!
Remind me to never put marshmallows
in my hot cocoa again.
Same basic ectoplasmic makeup
as a Class-4, free-floating spirit.
Fascinating.
Ach, when you talk like that,
you remind me of an old shipmate.
Indeed?
Go ahead, boys, we're right behind ya.
Go ahead and what?
How do we know
our ion rifles will work on that?
I'm fairly certain
with the modifications we've made,
the ion streams will have an effect.
We'll know in a minute.
Ready, aim
Careful, lads.
Don't rapture the hull of the
Fire!
Itit's getting bigger.
Hold your fire!
Hungry little stain, isn't it?
Hmm. Apparently feeding off the energy
in our Proton Packs.
Obviously, conventional entrapment methods
are not going to be effective
in immobilizing
this ectoplasmic life form.
Are you sure you never served
as a science officer?
Whoa!
McTavish, report!
Aye, sir.
What is going on down there?
We have lost gravity.
Well, sir, mmmWe seem
to have encountered a wee setback.
The ghost has gotten bigger
and has started tapping
into the gravity unit.
Then take care of it, at once!
Nice work, McTavish.
If the gravity's come back on,
it must be
because it's stopped tapping the power
from the gravity unit.
That stands to reason.
So it must have found
a more interesting source of energy.
Something it likes better.
Something that will make it grow faster.
Like Wonder Bread?
No, like the energy
from a portable nuclear accelerator.
Well, then we're in luck.
It will never find anything
like that around here.
Please don't tell me you mean
what I think you mean.
Not our Proton Packs.
Sorry to break it to you.
Look out!
Whoa!
Ahh! Help!
Huh? What?
A little help, you guys!
Get this big ugly thing off!
Help!
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
We're missing somebody.
Hey, guys! Help!
By the Lochs of Lomond, it's got him!
Winston, slip out of your Proton Pack!
That's what it wants!
Bon appetit.
Rachmaninoff!
Gentlemen, this will not do at all.
Not only have you not
gotten rid of creature,
you have made things worse.
Calm down, little Ivan Captain,
we've just gotten started.
Hey, we're government contractors, man.
You gotta allow us
a couple of muff chances.
It's in the fine print.
Besides, things could be worse.
We've still got lights.
Captain, the ghost has started
to tap into the life support system.
Lights! Air supply!
I know what life support systems are.
I am the captain.
Captain, uh, Captain,
I've bypassed engineering
and got us patched
into the emergency reserve,
but we've only got four hours maximum.
Well, Mr. Ghostbuster?
Got that reserve Proton Pack ready, Egon?
Terrific. Let's get back to work, men.
Been nice talking to you.
We gotta get back to work now, Captain.
I don't know what we're gonna do.
The creature's gotten so big
there's no way it'll fit into a trap.
We should try to communicate with it.
It might be intelligent.
Hey, if it were intelligent,
would it be here
sucking sun out of a wire?
No, it'd be in Bermuda lying on the beach.
I'm gonna try anyway.
Uh, hi there, fella. Uh, what's happenin'?
Good, Winston.
Why don't you ask if it comes here often?
What sign is it?
Don't help.
I know you must be hungry after your trip,
but we need some of that energy
to run the platform.
Maybe you'd like to lie out
and nap for a while.
This is kind of embarrassing, guys.
It's looking for another energy source.
You should be perfectly safe.
Yeah, and don't worry,
if he decides to eat you,
we'll notify your next of kin.
I don't have a next of kin.
Too bad. I'll sell you mine.
Guess you were right.
It wants energy, not us.
Well, do you have him?
Not yet. But don't worry,
we have it all under control.
What is your plan?
Well, uh, weWe're gonna, uh
Just a second.
Well, guys, got any ideas?
Uh, let me try.
Can you shut off the flow
to the energy converter?
Aye. But it means
going outside the platform.
Do it. We'll do the rest.
You've got an idea?
Trust me.
OK, we've gotta be ready
as soon as McTavish
turns off the energy flow.
Ready for what?
Ready to run.
No!
Ready to lure that big blob
to the center of the platform.
Very good, Ray. Well thought out.
Satisfying and less filling,
but I think I missed one part.
How are we gonna lure that slug?
That's why McTavish
is turning off the juice, Peter.
We'll use our ion rifles.
The creature will move towards
the only available source of energy.
Wait, wait, wait. Hold it.
Just who's gonna serve as the bait here?
I don't think I wanna play
with you guys anymore.
After all, Winston, it knows you.
You already have a relationship with it.
Not unless I know what's goin' on.
Come on, Winston.
Peter never has to tell his plans.
It seems logical
that the creator of the plan
might, in fact,
be the best person to act as the lure.
That way,
he has direct control over the operation.
Egon, Peter never
has to carry out his plans.
Hey, now, big guy, don't be like that.
You be the star of this gig.
We'll follow your lead.
Oh, mmmAll right. But it's not fair.
All right, lads.
Solar panels disconnected.
Your move, Ray.
Oh, I wish I had taken
those swimming lessons
instead of clarinet.
Now to get your attention.
Whoa!
That's right, baby, come to Papa.
Come on, come on.
Hokey smokes!
It's coming!
Well, I'm glad to see
we're in control of the situation.
Egon, grab my hands.
This is no time for dancing, man.
Whoa, Nelly!
Whoa!
Yikes!
Peter, quick, over there!
Egon, you go the other way!
Winston, down there!
Keep your weapons ready!
Now, drop the trap and open fire!
Now, open the traps!
-All of them?
-All of them, quick!
It's working. It's working!
Atta boy, Ray.
That's it.
Good plan, Ray.
We got him. I knew you could do it.
Gee, heh! Thanks, guys.
Ghostbusters, to bridge.
What have you done now?
Mission completed, sir, Captain.
Your space ghost is now space dust.
We'll sweep it under the carpet
when we get back to Earth.
I cannot believe it.
Believe it, bubala.
You can tell McTavish
to reconnect the solar panels.
Your mission is saved.
Excellent, Dr. Venkman. Thank you!
Oh, and, Captain,
you might give Houston a call and tell 'em
to have a check ready for us
when we get down.
Lieutenant, give Houston call
and relay Dr. Venkman's wishes.
Oh, and, uh, tell them
to deduct transportation expenses.
Do you want me to call collect?
Government contracts, I love 'em.
We've only just begun to tap
the vast financial resources
of our great nation.
Yeah.
There's no place to go but up.
Ouch!
Well, I hope the rest
of your stay is less exciting.
Thank you.
Why not come back and visit sometime?
We could use the company.
How long are you gonna be up here?
We are on five-year mission.
Hmm. Fascinating.
You're right.
He does remind me
of a certain pointy-eared science officer.
Ghostbusters ♪
There's something strange
In the neighborhood ♪
Who you going to call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
There's something weird
And it don't look good ♪
Who you going to call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
Who you going to call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
Who you going to call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
Captain's log. Friday, 13th of June.
Experimental Space Platform, Galileo
has just completed
first full day of mission.
All systems completely operational.
Crew of Galileo are in good spirits,
and are mentally and physically prepared
to set new space endurance record.
Tomorrow, we begin series of experiments
designated in mission profile.
In meantime, we are looking
forward to smooth sailing.
Dostoyevsky! What was that?
-I think we've been hit, sir.
-By what?
II don't know.
Well, find out!
Uh, yes, sir.
Sir, unable to raise base command.
We're receiving interference
from all hailing frequencies.
We're losing energy rapidly.
I do not know
if my poor engine can stand the strain.
I'll go look!
Commander Kirov!
What is it, Yeoman Whitney?
I know this sounds ridiculous, sir, but
Spit it out, Yeoman!
I could swear I've just seen a ghost, sir.
Just after we were hit,
floating down the corridor.
Pull yourself together, Yeoman.
I know what I saw, sir.
Captain, I just saw a ghost
in the engine room.
Not you too!
How are communication channels?
Hailing frequencies clearing, sir.
Patch me into one
of local telephone satellites.
And turn off that perasky siren!
Yes, sir.
Sir, who are you gonna call?
Three, two, oneLiftoff!
Hot diggity, a government contract.
-Big bucks, here we come.
-I don't know, Peter.
I'm still concerned
about how the equipment
is gonna function in zero gravity.
I've made some modifications
on this extra equipment I brought,
but they may not be totally effective.
Don't sweat it.
No company with a government contract
ever knows what it's doing.
What if the stuff doesn't work?
If it doesn't work,
you just charge more and do it again.
Don't they serve lunch on this flight?
Request permission
to bust some ghosts, sir.
Welcome aboard Space Platform
Galileo, Dr. Venkman.
We appreciate your willingness
to come all the way up here
to help us deal
with our little, uh, problem?
Hey, neither rain,
nor snow, nor gloom of night,
nor even depth of space
can keep us from our expensive rounds.
Meet my command officers.
Lieutenant Sato, Lieutenant Irahqua
and Lieutenant Commander McTavish.
They will help you with anything you need.
Do these people look familiar to you?
I was just about to ask you that.
Pardon me, Captain,
but have we met before?
Don't be ridiculous, Winston.
These people are astronauts,
space explorers.
They've been out
exploring strange new worlds,
seeking out new life
and new civilizations.
Actually, this is only our second day.
And some new life has seeked us out.
Seeked?
I will handle this. I am Captain.
Captain?
It seems some new life form
has seeked us out, Dr. Venkman.
Some of the crew
have reported seeing a ghost.
Wonderful, Captain.
What variety has seeked you?
Class-one poltergeist? Free-form floater?
Ghost of launchings past?
Really more of a slimy ball of ooze,
if you want to know the truth.
Tobin's Spirit Guide comes up blank.
Have you considered calling ooze busters?
Peter, I'm getting a heavy reading
of ectoplasmic activity
from that general direction.
Aye, that's the way to engineering.
That's where we saw the ghost.
It's empty ectoplasm.
There's no psychokinetic
energy accompanying it.
What's that mean?
The logical conclusion
is that it isn't a real ghost.
It was real enough for me!
Captain, the ghost has tapped directly
into the solar energy converter.
It's draining power faster
than the ship can convert it!
With that kind of drain,
our emergency batteries
will only last a few hours.
Artificial gravity won't last long.
A ghost hungry for power?
Maybe he used to be a politician.
Perhaps, gentlemen,
a closer look is in order.
McTavish, go with them.
Aye, sir.
You guys ever consider
paying your electric bill?
By all the heather in the Highlands!
The thing's gotten bigger!
Remind me to never put marshmallows
in my hot cocoa again.
Same basic ectoplasmic makeup
as a Class-4, free-floating spirit.
Fascinating.
Ach, when you talk like that,
you remind me of an old shipmate.
Indeed?
Go ahead, boys, we're right behind ya.
Go ahead and what?
How do we know
our ion rifles will work on that?
I'm fairly certain
with the modifications we've made,
the ion streams will have an effect.
We'll know in a minute.
Ready, aim
Careful, lads.
Don't rapture the hull of the
Fire!
Itit's getting bigger.
Hold your fire!
Hungry little stain, isn't it?
Hmm. Apparently feeding off the energy
in our Proton Packs.
Obviously, conventional entrapment methods
are not going to be effective
in immobilizing
this ectoplasmic life form.
Are you sure you never served
as a science officer?
Whoa!
McTavish, report!
Aye, sir.
What is going on down there?
We have lost gravity.
Well, sir, mmmWe seem
to have encountered a wee setback.
The ghost has gotten bigger
and has started tapping
into the gravity unit.
Then take care of it, at once!
Nice work, McTavish.
If the gravity's come back on,
it must be
because it's stopped tapping the power
from the gravity unit.
That stands to reason.
So it must have found
a more interesting source of energy.
Something it likes better.
Something that will make it grow faster.
Like Wonder Bread?
No, like the energy
from a portable nuclear accelerator.
Well, then we're in luck.
It will never find anything
like that around here.
Please don't tell me you mean
what I think you mean.
Not our Proton Packs.
Sorry to break it to you.
Look out!
Whoa!
Ahh! Help!
Huh? What?
A little help, you guys!
Get this big ugly thing off!
Help!
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
We're missing somebody.
Hey, guys! Help!
By the Lochs of Lomond, it's got him!
Winston, slip out of your Proton Pack!
That's what it wants!
Bon appetit.
Rachmaninoff!
Gentlemen, this will not do at all.
Not only have you not
gotten rid of creature,
you have made things worse.
Calm down, little Ivan Captain,
we've just gotten started.
Hey, we're government contractors, man.
You gotta allow us
a couple of muff chances.
It's in the fine print.
Besides, things could be worse.
We've still got lights.
Captain, the ghost has started
to tap into the life support system.
Lights! Air supply!
I know what life support systems are.
I am the captain.
Captain, uh, Captain,
I've bypassed engineering
and got us patched
into the emergency reserve,
but we've only got four hours maximum.
Well, Mr. Ghostbuster?
Got that reserve Proton Pack ready, Egon?
Terrific. Let's get back to work, men.
Been nice talking to you.
We gotta get back to work now, Captain.
I don't know what we're gonna do.
The creature's gotten so big
there's no way it'll fit into a trap.
We should try to communicate with it.
It might be intelligent.
Hey, if it were intelligent,
would it be here
sucking sun out of a wire?
No, it'd be in Bermuda lying on the beach.
I'm gonna try anyway.
Uh, hi there, fella. Uh, what's happenin'?
Good, Winston.
Why don't you ask if it comes here often?
What sign is it?
Don't help.
I know you must be hungry after your trip,
but we need some of that energy
to run the platform.
Maybe you'd like to lie out
and nap for a while.
This is kind of embarrassing, guys.
It's looking for another energy source.
You should be perfectly safe.
Yeah, and don't worry,
if he decides to eat you,
we'll notify your next of kin.
I don't have a next of kin.
Too bad. I'll sell you mine.
Guess you were right.
It wants energy, not us.
Well, do you have him?
Not yet. But don't worry,
we have it all under control.
What is your plan?
Well, uh, weWe're gonna, uh
Just a second.
Well, guys, got any ideas?
Uh, let me try.
Can you shut off the flow
to the energy converter?
Aye. But it means
going outside the platform.
Do it. We'll do the rest.
You've got an idea?
Trust me.
OK, we've gotta be ready
as soon as McTavish
turns off the energy flow.
Ready for what?
Ready to run.
No!
Ready to lure that big blob
to the center of the platform.
Very good, Ray. Well thought out.
Satisfying and less filling,
but I think I missed one part.
How are we gonna lure that slug?
That's why McTavish
is turning off the juice, Peter.
We'll use our ion rifles.
The creature will move towards
the only available source of energy.
Wait, wait, wait. Hold it.
Just who's gonna serve as the bait here?
I don't think I wanna play
with you guys anymore.
After all, Winston, it knows you.
You already have a relationship with it.
Not unless I know what's goin' on.
Come on, Winston.
Peter never has to tell his plans.
It seems logical
that the creator of the plan
might, in fact,
be the best person to act as the lure.
That way,
he has direct control over the operation.
Egon, Peter never
has to carry out his plans.
Hey, now, big guy, don't be like that.
You be the star of this gig.
We'll follow your lead.
Oh, mmmAll right. But it's not fair.
All right, lads.
Solar panels disconnected.
Your move, Ray.
Oh, I wish I had taken
those swimming lessons
instead of clarinet.
Now to get your attention.
Whoa!
That's right, baby, come to Papa.
Come on, come on.
Hokey smokes!
It's coming!
Well, I'm glad to see
we're in control of the situation.
Egon, grab my hands.
This is no time for dancing, man.
Whoa, Nelly!
Whoa!
Yikes!
Peter, quick, over there!
Egon, you go the other way!
Winston, down there!
Keep your weapons ready!
Now, drop the trap and open fire!
Now, open the traps!
-All of them?
-All of them, quick!
It's working. It's working!
Atta boy, Ray.
That's it.
Good plan, Ray.
We got him. I knew you could do it.
Gee, heh! Thanks, guys.
Ghostbusters, to bridge.
What have you done now?
Mission completed, sir, Captain.
Your space ghost is now space dust.
We'll sweep it under the carpet
when we get back to Earth.
I cannot believe it.
Believe it, bubala.
You can tell McTavish
to reconnect the solar panels.
Your mission is saved.
Excellent, Dr. Venkman. Thank you!
Oh, and, Captain,
you might give Houston a call and tell 'em
to have a check ready for us
when we get down.
Lieutenant, give Houston call
and relay Dr. Venkman's wishes.
Oh, and, uh, tell them
to deduct transportation expenses.
Do you want me to call collect?
Government contracts, I love 'em.
We've only just begun to tap
the vast financial resources
of our great nation.
Yeah.
There's no place to go but up.
Ouch!
Well, I hope the rest
of your stay is less exciting.
Thank you.
Why not come back and visit sometime?
We could use the company.
How long are you gonna be up here?
We are on five-year mission.
Hmm. Fascinating.
You're right.
He does remind me
of a certain pointy-eared science officer.