Phineas and Ferb s02e55 Episode Script

by ashirogi27 Wow, trippy! I'm having one of those lucid dreams where I'm aware I'm dreaming so I can control it.
I voted for you, Kevin.
Cool! I'm gonna fly, too! Okay.
Focus, and Ugh! Oh, no! I've broken my mind! Reality's shattering before my eyes! Candace, you're fine.
It's all special effects.
Special effects? Yeah, cool, huh? Ferb and I are warming up before we meet our special effects hero, Clive Addison today at the Science-Fiction and Fantasy Convention.
That explains why you're dressed in costumes from "Giant Losers: The Musical"! Actually, I'm dressed as Captain Lump Sharkboard from Space Adventure XIV.
And Ferb's dressed as Hymie Silverman, the elf prince from Stumbleberry Finkbat and the Whining Wand of the Turtle Wizard.
They're the two biggest movie series of all-time, and Clive Addison did the special effects for both.
Ugh! Stop being related to me! And take all your mirrors, and zebras, and junk, and get out of my room! Zebras? Anyway, Ferb and I aren't in your room.
We're already at the convention! Special effects! Look at it, Ferb.
Science-Fiction and Fantasy, together at last.
It's breathtaking.
Let's get in there! Hey "Where's Perry?" is written on this wanted poster, hanging on a tree.
And we see this little hand reach up and tear the poster down and the music kicks in and all, "Chicka, chicka, chow, chicka, chow, chow, chicka, chicka, chicka, chicka, chow," and the opening credits start, like on one of those cool 80's TV shows with a voice over.
You know A fugitive, semi-aquatic special forces amateur stage magician, framed for a crime he didn't commit, the 1865 assassination of Abraham Lincoln, joins forces with a rogue-trillionaire inventor-extreme fighting champion from the future.
Together with the aid of "R.
I.
C.
K.
", their super crime-fighting high-tech talking rickshaw, they'll bring hope, justice, and varying degrees of aquaticness to a Tri-State area in peril.
Together, they are Doof 'N' Puss! Tonight's episode, Ham on Rye, Hold the Mayor.
You know, in the future we won't sit and read newspapers in the morning.
Instead, giant robots will control us in human death matches.
Well, that gives us something to look forward to.
Good morning, team.
What's up, Ricky? I've detected some strange, out of character behavior from our mayor recently, which has me concerned.
Here he is from a news report a year ago.
Notice how he waves.
It goes side to side, see? Again, side to side.
Now, here's footage from just two days ago.
Watch.
See? His hand goes up, and then he transforms into a wolf with fiery, red eyes, and runs howling into the misty night.
Now that you mentioned it, that is unusual for him.
We've got to somehow get close to the mayor, and find out what's going on.
We're gonna need a turban and a wig.
And while I'm out, I'm gonna pick up some bagels.
Anyone else want anything? Hi, Candace.
Where are you off to? Oh I'm, uh going to Stacy's.
Okay, honey.
What's in the big bag? Smaller bags? Great! Have fun.
Isn't it magnificent, Ferb? Special effects extravaganzas just have a way of bringing people together.
If you think Lump Sharkboard can defeat Hymie Silverman, the elf prince, then you are three phlorics short of a foxonian zipfeller, my friend! Oh, yeah? Well, you can carry your own action figures! Ferb, there he is! Clive Addison! Do you have our special effects demo reel? Yes! I can't believe we're gonna meet him! Oh! Phineas, you're just in time.
Would you please tell this dragon-loving heathen, that the Space Adventure movies are superior to the Stumbleberry Finkbat movies in every way imaginable? Oh, uh Uh We're just Oh Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't realize you were in mourning.
What? Yeah, it also took me awhile to accept the fact that I had no brother any more.
What? They actually think all those silly magic elves movies are better than Space Adventure's epic science-fiction genius! Well, I Stumbleberry Finkbat and the Lost Shadow of Darkling Tower alone, was smarter and more realistic than all the even-numbered Space Adventure movies combined! Yeah, man! You tell him! Realistic? Space Adventure is based on hard scientific fact.
It's like watching a reality show from the distant future.
Affirmative! Yeah! That's correct! Exactly! As it should .
.
a-be.
That fantasy stuff is for kids! It's almost as lame as dressing up as like Ducky Momo or something.
Finkies! Speckies! Thank you for auditioning, but we're looking for something a little more dazzling for the mayor's ball.
No, wait! We can dazzle, we can.
I will now saw The Amazing Platydini in half.
See? See? Platypuses, they're like butter.
Mayor, we got this surveillance photo from the wig and turban supply store.
It's Doof 'n' Puss.
And now Plati-padapbra! Oh, very impressive, Dr.
Doofenshmirtz and Perry the Platypus! Now, it's my turn to make you disappear.
Oh, no! Ninja Vampires! I hate these guys.
Wow, he's good.
I picked the wrong day to stop carrying garlic-scented throwing stars.
Hey Stacy, how's it going? No, I haven't heard from Candace.
What? She told me she was hanging with you today.
Really? She told me the same thing about you.
Anyway, I'm over at the Sci-Fi Fantasy convention with little Suzy.
She's really into the kids stuff.
You know, like Sea-Horsie Hospital, uh You know, lame stuff like Ducky Momo.
Ooh.
Ducky Momo! Uh, Suzy? Wait, Suzy! Aww.
You know you can't run away like that.
Oh, that was close.
Why must it be so hard for a lifelong, closet Ducky Momo fan to go to a Science-Fiction and Fantasy convention, and find cool, rare Ducky Momo collectibles, without anybody discovering her dark, humiliating secret? (Song: Ducky Momo is My Friend) When I was small, the world was such a strange place And that was all until I saw his strange face Quacking in slow-mo Ducky Momo is my friend And since we've met, he's been a friend to count on If I could bet, I'd put the full amount on Never needing to know mo Then Ducky Momo is my friend All the lessons that he's taught me brought me luck Now when life throws eggs, I know how to duck Oh, oh, but now the world just points and laughs at me here The hidden girl who risked so much to be here Showin' my face is a no-no But Ducky Momo's still my friend Ducky Momo is my friend Ducky Momo is my friend ' Finkies! Speckies! Come on, guys.
Aren't you blowing this all out of proportion? No.
Finkies! Speckies! Finkies! Speckies! Come with me, Phineas.
You should meet with the Almordian Council.
They'll straighten you out.
But, what about Ferb? Forget about him, he's nothing to you anymore.
Well, I guess I'm your new brother.
Carry my action figures? We seek counsel with the exalted one.
Baljeet? Baljeet is the only sixteenth level Space Adventure trivia master in the world.
I feel a minor disturbance in the universe.
Almost as if Nope! Now it is gone.
Okay It's Clive Addison! Pay attention! I have unfortunate news to report, master.
Ferb is dressed like an elf! Yeah, and his costume's really cool too.
He spun his own wool, and the headband's made of real– Oh, for the love of humillian dorphite! We lost Ferb, too? He's not lost.
He's just enjoying another genre.
Never! The line must be drawn here! Right between Phineas and his loved ones.
Oh, come on.
Did you ever consider that fans of Space Adventure would– Speckies! Right, speckies.
have more in common with fans of Stumbleberry Finkbat in the– Finkies! Maybe Speckies and Finkies have more in common than they do differences.
Oh! Bite this prop tongue from Episode 8! Have you ever tried talking to them? Talk!? Have you met the leader of the Finkies? I'm sure you're wondering why I, Buford, have taken a leadership role in such a geek-centered enterprise.
Well, take a look around! This place is crawling with nerds! I'm like a kid in a candy store! Plus, I relate to the character of Odaf Underhump and his complex emotional inner journey.
I seriously doubt this will work.
Buford is not a man of peace.
Nonsense, I'm sure he'll be reasonable.
Hey! No space bunnies allowed! I am not a bunny rabbit! I am an Almordian Vanksloth.
It's time to end this silly feud, so we can all enjoy Clive Addison's special effects presentation.
Baljeet, you prepared a peace treaty? I did.
We, Speckies, vow to live in peace and harmony with you, Finkies.
All we ask is that you admit, Space Adventure is much better than Stumbleberry Finkbat, and that you have brought eternal shame to your families forever, believing otherwise.
Uh, that's not what we– Oh, yeah!? You and what army? Your question makes no sense as a response to what I just said.
Well, how 'bout this? Alright! So, it is war then! Bring it on, Speckies! We're gonna go all Hyborian age on you! That is not even a real age! To quote Lump Sharkboard from Space Adventure XVI Glorf.
Glorf! We now return to Doof 'n' Puss! Well, what did you expect? It was like twenty of them, against one-and-two-halves of us.
Look, it's the mayor! Get him! Oh, knock it off! I'm the real mayor, that other guy is a shape-shifter posing as me.
You know, that's funny, you know, even while I was attacking you, I was thinking, "Why did he tie himself up in a dark closet with us? What– What kind of a plan is that?" Oh, you've freed yourself with your amazing magician skills! And also scissors.
Now, we've done it, Ferb! We brought the entire convention center to the brink of an inter-genre geek war.
It's up to us to extend the olive branch of diplomacy.
I'll go talk to Buford, and you can talk to Baljeet.
May the luck of Sluffon be with you.
Always.
Ducky Momo Plushies.
Momo Collectible Card Game.
Momo the Movie! Oh, the Momo-ness of it all! The sheer Momo-sity! Ducky Momo! Wait for me! Suzy! Oh, that poor sap in the costume.
I love you, Ducky Momo! She's relentless! Hey, no cutting! I want to see inside your head! These Momo nuts are such an embarrassment.
Seriously.
Ducky Momo? Where are you? Ducky Momo? Ducky Momo! Ha! Now, If I could just find one piece of Ducky Momo merchandise I don't already have, all this would be totally worth it.
I've got to get to Buford, but how to approach it? Working on your battle strategy, Phineas? What? No! I– I mean– Yes! Yes, I am.
In fact, there's a way you can help me with it.
Me? Help you? My manipulator/grasper is at your command! Great! We'll need to modify your costume a bit to get you behind enemy lines.
Enemy lines?! Uh, excuse me, Mr.
Barbarian, sir.
Why do you disturb my brooding on the eve of war, stumpling? I come bearing a message.
Witchcraft! What trickery is this? Greeting, all-mighty Odaf Underhump.
Phineas, your kind is not welcome here.
Just hear me out! In a theatrical landscape that's drowning in comedy, romance, and thought-provoking ecological docu-dramas, Finkies and Speckies are all outcasts.
They should be friends.
There are no friends in these halls, Phineas.
There are only my people, and those who must be destroyed.
But that's just– Hold your words, outlander! Once Odaf Underhump has made a hasty and ill-informed decision, he cannot be swayed.
Go home, Finkie, your kind isn't welcome here.
Did you see that? He just vanished.
He must be employing some kind of cloaking device.
No, it's an elven cape of invisibility, duh.
My time is limited, magician.
I must gather my positronic impulses for the coming battle.
Speak.
Ha! You cannot charm me with your silver tongue, Elf Prince.
And your magic rune signs have no power in this dimension.
This conversation is over.
Transport him away.
This day isn't turning out like I'd hoped at all.
I know how you feel.
Clive Addison! We're your biggest fans! Thanks, man.
It's just too bad there aren't more of you out there.
That's crazy! Everyone here loves your work.
In fact, the only reason they're not in line to see you, is that they're about to go to war over which of your movies is better.
Oh, man, I don't wanna hear that.
I became a special effects artist to join the nations of this earth together in peace and hope.
Well, what other reason is there for creating cool visual effects for film and television? Special effects! That's it! Ferb, I know what we're gonna do from this point in the day on! And we'd better do it fast.
Look! (Song: To War) The sun blazes red over the convention center! As red as the blood of all who enter! That's pumped through the hearts into this fearless choir It's the size and the shape of a fist clenched in ire! That's raised to the sky in faith and in duty That holds that red sun in all its beauty A beauty we all must ignore! As we take the last steps to war! 'Cause our movie's better than yours! No, our movie's better than yours! Our movie's better! Our movie's better than yours! Our movie's better! No, our movie's better than yours! Our movie's better! Our movie's better than yours! You cannot resist our superior technology! Smell my barbarian pits! Eww! Yuck! Let's do this.
Ready? The coast is– I don't believe it.
That's the rare Ducky Momo commemorative plate where they accidentally printed the wrong saying.
Score! All I have to do is get over there without drawing too much attention to myself.
Charge! Charge again! Eat laser, Hymie Silverman! That gives me a five points weapon skills advantage.
You lose an arm! Fine, it'll be back.
Odaf Underhump has a healing factor of eight! And now to present his various new, pro-ninja vampire laws, here he is the totally, for real, Mayor.
Freeze, punk-fake mayor guy! You want me? You come get me! Oh, wait.
Hold on a second.
Okay, what? You can't just throw a giant monster into a story because you're stuck for an ending.
It's lazy.
It's lazy writing.
What is that thing?! I do not know! Those readings make no sense! That's a pencil sharpener.
How is that information helpful at this juncture? O-On second thought, I love it.
You may have tied me up next to this– What is this? A beaver or something? A-And– And pitched me a TV series against my will, not to mention holding up the autograph line.
But, my advanced TV executive instincts tell me your show is going to be a big hit.
Yes! I'm going to have my own show, on television! And then, all of these fans will be so indebted of me, they will do my bidding.
It's actually happening! I, am going to rule the Tri-State Area! Just a thought though, can we get the platypus a girlfriend? What?! Never! Oh, suddenly you know my characters better than me? Forget it! I'm no sell out.
I just crassly calculated commercial appeal in a mad quest for financial gain.
No, no! M-My artistic integrity and I are out! Peace! Buford! Just what do you think you are doing? What does it look like? I'm running away, hoping that while the monster is busy eating my friends, I can escape.
Is that what Odaf Underhump would do? No.
No, it's not.
He'd never run from a fight.
Exactly.
No hero would, no matter what the genre.
And neither will we! And we'll win.
Fantasy and science fiction.
Together! Archers! Regroup and protect the left flank.
Ion-Laser cannons! Push him back to the center.
That'll be fifteen dollars.
Here.
So, you a fan of Ducky Momo? No.
Why do you ask? It's working! Look! They've joined together to defeat our monster.
Oh, guys, this is so cool! Watch this man, I'm gonna make him lurch to the right.
What is that thing? It's like a nightmare, or a lucid dream.
Of course! Phineas and Ferb! Rootah dez-tu valoomus! Rootah dez-tu valoomus! Brother! Rootah dez-tu valoomus! What are you dweebs doing? Don't you get it? This is all baloney! It's just special effects.
And even if it were real, what good would this stuff do? Plastic blasters? Rolling dice? You think you could stop a think like that by waving a wand and saying, "Oogie boogie woogie!"? I can't believe that actually worked.
Huh? Ducky Momo defeated the monster! My people have much to learn from your people.
You must tell me how to shoot a blaster someday.
Absolutely.
And you can teach me how to wield a club.
I'm afraid that information is proprietary.
Look everybody! It's me.
Candace Flynn.
Yeah, I'm who you love! And I love Ducky Momo! She's a teenager and she came dressed as Ducky Momo! Oh, that's lame, even she did save us.
She came dressed as Ducky Momo.
Negative.
Man, fickle crowd.
Candace! That was so cool! Oh, hey, Jeremy.
You're not too embarrassed to talk to Ducky Momo? Maybe Ducky Momo isn't really that lame after all.
Someone else seems to really like him too.
I love you, Ducky Momo! Ducky Momo loves you too, Suzy.
I gotta say, guys, that was, hands down, the best special effects show ever.
And I've been at Burning Man.
Your holo-projection device is brilliant! Thanks, Mr.
Addison! That means the world coming from you.
Well, it's just really clear that you two are gonna have an amazing career in special effects ahead of you.
And if that's what you want, give me a call in ten years and I'll hire the both of you in a heartbeat.
Actually, what I'd love to do is direct.
Oh, you and me both.
We now return to The Platypus & His Girlfriend.
Now, Mr.
Mayor, I will saw the amazingly handsome Platy-dini in half.
Ah, he was right.
This is better.
I should have sold out.
(Song: Ducky Momo Theme Song) Ducky Mo, Ducky Momo Ducky Mo, Ducky Momo Ducky Mo, Ducky Momo He's your very best friend! Who's the happy-time toy toy For every girl and boy boy? Who's the fuzzy enjoyment? Make fun with Ducky Momo! Ducky Mo, Ducky Momo He's your very best friend!