Phineas and Ferb s02e56 Episode Script

by ashirogi27 Enough moping around, Candace.
Phineas and Ferb said they've devised a fun way to wash the house.
Why don't you join them? Have some fun for a change! For a change? I have lots of fun! You mean, obsessively trying to bust your brothers for their mystery crimes? Is that fun? I have fun.
I'm like the queen of fun! I have fun all day! I can tell.
Well, if you just gonna sit inside today, you should at least do a little reading.
Aw, Mom? It's one of my favorites.
The Wizard of Oz.
Isn't this for babies? Or you could wipe down Perry's Platypus Plaza Play set.
I'm reading, I'm reading! Well, I'll be at my weight lifting class.
Have fun! Ugh! Oh, my eyes hurt! Oh, Jeremy.
You're the only one who understands me.
Hi, Candace! Buford, Baljeet, what do you two want? What? Like in a metaphysical sense? Nothing.
I'm good.
I want to be cool! That's not gonna happen.
I mean, why are you looking in my window, duh! Oh.
Ferb says I should tell you we're about to start washing the house, and you can help us out if you want! Not likely.
Either way, you might want to put on some waterproof undergarments.
Will you get out of here?! Blah, blah Dorothy, blah, blah Kansas.
There's a cyclone coming? Okay, Ferb.
Let her lift.
Take your positions everybody! And remember, even strokes.
Do you guys always wash the house like this? Sometimes, we give it a bath.
But, the city's using the tub as a reservoir.
Whoa! What's happening? Phineas! Ferb! Okay.
Full speed now! Try to have fun! I want to be cool! Hey.
I don't want nothin'! Waterproof undergarments! Whee! Hey! I wonder where Perry went? Ew, gross! Perry! Oh, wow! Perry, I don't think we're in Danville anymore.
You're in Patchkinland! We're Patchkins, and welcome you because Little Witch Suzy was a louse, now she's squished under your house! I'm alright! I have saliva.
Gross! Eyeball! Eyeball! Eyeball! What'cha doin'? I'm The Good Witch, Isabella.
Welcome to Patchkinland! Hello?! Can someone get this off me?! Don't touch those boots! Witch! Witch! Witch! Not witch, warlock! It's a robe, not a dress! I suppose I should thank you for squishing little Suzie.
I'm okay, if you just lift this house off me, I– But I won't, because I'm wicked! I'll just take these little boots, and I'll be on– Wait! What happened? Where are my boots?! Right there.
On Candace.
Now my feet are cold.
Give me those boots! She doesn't have to give you anything! You have no real power in this part of Odd! Wrong! I have the power of positive thinking! True, it doesn't really help me in this instance, but you can't stay in Patchkinland forever! That's right! I'll get you! And your little platypus, too.
Now, check me out as I disappear into an evil cloud of black smoke! You know, I'm just gonna use my bus pass.
Seriously, can someone get a jack or something? I don't know how, but I bet Phineas and Ferb are behind all these! Oh, hi, Candace! I knew it! Have fun! Wait, stop! How did you– Ugh! Alright, Eyeball Girl! Where do I go to bust someone around here? You can always try Bustopolis.
That's where The Wizard lives.
Can The Wizard bust my brothers? You bet'cha! How do I get there? Ooo-hoo! (Song: Yellow Sidewalk) Well, listen to this.
Ooo-hoo! Ooo-hoo! La-la-la-la-la-la-la Well, the sky is blue and the breeze is mellow I'll tell you what to do Take the walkway that's yellow It'll get you where you want to go Just take that yellow sidewalk Ooo-hoo! La-la-la-la-la-la-la Just take the yellow one Not the one that's burnt umber And don't you take that purple one, it's covered with lumber What? A log truck overturned last Tuesday Take the yellow sidewalk Ooo-hoo! Nothing to see here.
Ooo-hoo! Move along.
If you wanna bust your brothers, put one foot after another There's a road that leads you out of this square And there's nothing really stopping us So let us state the obvious If you standing here, baby You're going nowhere! So, if you're really in a busting mood Please don't think I'm being rude! Just grab yourself some take-out food And hit that yellow sidewalk! Ooo-hoo! Ooo-hoo! Ooo-hoo! La-la-la-la-la-la-la! Ooo-hoo! Ooo-hoo! So, remember! If you wanna bust your brothers, Ooo-hoo! stay on the yellow sidewalk! La-la-la-la-la-la-la I hope there's not gonna be a lot of singing in this thing.
How much further is this Bustopolis? For some of us, it is a world away! What are you supposed to be? I am a nerdcrow.
I hang in cornfields, wedgie-style, to keep the crows away.
They would not be caught dead anywhere around me.
For you see, despite my above average mathematical skills, I am not cool.
That's fascinating.
But, I'm on my way to Bustopolis to ask The Wizard to bust my brothers.
The Wizard?! Oof! Do you think The Wizard can do something for me? What do you want? (Song: I Wish I Was Cool) Allow me to put it in song! I want to be cool, cool, cool I feel like such a foo-oo-ool 'Cause everybody I see Everybody but me Knows a secret to cool, cool, cool They don't teach it in schoo-oo-ool Ain't no pamphlet they wrote No one pass me that note Guess that I missed the boat Alright, That's enough! Down the– I get it.
You wanna come to Bustopolis and ask The Wizard for coolness, right? Do I! Fine, you can come along.
Boy, howdy! Ooo-hoo! But, no singing, and don't stand too close.
Ooo-hoo! Ooo-hoo! Too close! Sorry.
La-la-la-la-la-la-la! Hi, Candace! So, you two are on your way to Bustopolis? 'Cause Ferb and I made a more fun way to get there.
We've built a beautiful horse path through a candy forest, and genetically-engineered some unicorns to ride.
Oh, no.
No, we are staying on the yellow sidewalk.
Do I have a say in this matter? No! Let's go! Yes, Candace.
Sorry you're gonna miss out on all of the fun! I'll race you to marshmallow meadow, Ferb.
Well, this is fun.
It's a little girly for us, isn't it? Well, it is Candace's dream.
Doofenshmirtz Wicked Witch Castle! It's not witch, it's warlock! Ugh! Let me just check my security.
The front door looks good.
The back door looks good.
And, the platypus outside my window looks good.
The platypus outside my– Ooh! Oh! Oh, gross! Hey, I know you.
You're with that little boot thief, right? Well, I'm going to send my flying squirrels after her! Those stunning little planes, they're cute, but you know, they don't fly so fast.
We've got some time.
How much farther do we have to go? All I know is Phineas and Ferb are behind all these.
And if I follow this sidewalk, I will bust them.
Wait a minute.
I know this.
There should be an oil can around here.
Could you leave the lumberjack alone? Jeremy? Forget this! Oh, hi! I– I couldn't help, but notice that you're, um A tree? A-ttractive.
It's okay.
I know I'm a tree.
Well, we're gonna go see if The Wizard will grant our wishes Uh Do you have a wish? (Song: Tree Related Wish) Do I have a wish? Would you take a good look at me I stand before you as a tree And you ask me what my wish would be How come he gets to sing– Shhhh.
It's probably related to me being a tree It's my tree-related wish (Tree-related wish) It's my tree-related wish (Tree-related wish) It's my tree-related wish (Tree-related wish) I'll tell you what it is when we get to Bustopolis Ooh, I can't wait to find out.
Come on, let's go.
Aren't you just going to wish to not be a tree? Shhh.
Girls like a little mystery.
La-la-la-la-la-la– Hi, Candace.
From this point, you have two routes to Bustopolis.
On your right is a yellow sidewalk through a terrifying beastbog.
We have saliva! And on your left, Ferb and I have built a frozen non-dairy treat sidewalk through an ice cream canyon.
You can skate it and lick it for the ultimate and flavorable fun.
Ice cream! Ice cream! Oh, no, you don't! We're staying on this sidewalk 'til we meet The Wizard and you're busted.
Crow, Tree, let's go! Yes, Candace.
Well, there's only one thing left to do.
Woo-hoo! Yeah! Woo-hoo! This is better than an ice cream canyon, isn't it? Oh, yes, I much prefer rotting vegetation and blood-sucking demons.
Sure are some scary looking trees in here.
Hey, we can't all be movie stars.
I I– I-I think there's something up there.
Whoo? What is that? Where? There! It looks like a lion.
No, looks like a tiger.
I think it is a bear.
No! I'm a combination lion, tiger, and bear.
Oh, my! If I had a nickel for every time I heard that All right! Let's blow this pop stand! What? Oh, fine.
My friends and I are going to Bustopolis to each get something from The Wizard.
Do you want to come? There! Nah! I don't want nothin'.
Okay, chop, chop, fellas! Time's a-wastin'.
But, I am reminded of a song.
(Song: I Want Nothing) I want Nothin'.
Well, at least it was short.
Come on! Yes, Candace.
La-la-la-la-la-la-la! Hi, Candace.
You guys could continue walking through this damp bog, and that would be awesome.
But if you'd like to take a more fun route to Bustopolis, Ferb and I have built A blue sidewalk? A bouncy sidewalk! What do you say, Candace? I think you already know my answer.
Step it up, freaks! Yes, Candace.
Okay, have fun! Ugh! Soon, those boots will be mine! In the meantime, I'm going to leave you in the capable hands of my spider-monkey, or maybe a monkey-spider.
I don't know what he is.
Ow! Bouncy sidewalk.
I'm keeping my eyes on the prize! Hey, what's that? Looks like a squadron of flying squirrels! Hey! What are you doin'? Ow, ow, ow! I can't believe I'm doin' this for nothin'! I wish I was still hanging by my underwear! Just kidding! Oh, come on! I'm a tree! We're friends with squirrels! Oh, snap.
Oh, that's got to hurt.
You get used to it.
Squirrels! Squirrels! W-W-Whoaa! Oh, no.
The squirrels have got Candace! We've got to do something! I got nothin'.
Oh, hey, Candace.
We're taking the bouncy sidewalk.
Of course, your way looks fun, too.
I am not having fun.
And neither will you if I ever get back to the yellow sidewalk! Okay.
Kidnapped by flying squirrels and stuck in a web that came out of a monkey's butt.
Hm.
Well, I guess I have had weirder days.
There you are, Perry.
Silence! I've got you now, missy.
You may as well hand over those boots.
I would, but they've kinda grown on me.
I know.
They're nice, aren't they? And the color really set off your eyes.
No, really.
They've grown on me.
I can't take them off.
If I can't take the boots off of you, I have to get you out of the boots.
And by that, I mean, disintegrate you entirely! Perry, I'm sorry I got you into this mess.
Forget about me.
Save yourself if you can.
Well, if it's that easy Oh! Get him off of me! Oh, he could have rabies! Oh, I hate spider webs! Guards! Uh Ready? Yep.
Agent P! Getting our wishes will not be the same without Candace.
I miss her, too.
Even if she was a little bossy.
I need a firm hand.
Look! It is Candace's pet platypus.
Has he always had that hat? What's he want? Could be rabies.
Gentlemen, we're out to stop Doofenwitch.
You want to rescue the girl.
I see an opportunity here for some inter-agency cooperation.
Now, here's the plan.
Wait! Why am I a fairy? See this hourglass? When this sand runs out that’s when this big electric timer begins.
And when that time runs out, it activates the Brat-Begone-inator, to vaporize you right out of your boots! Ooh, someone is at my door! Hello? Hi! You've been selected for a free haunted castle makeover from Witches Brew magazine.
Not witch! Warlock! What about the dress? It's a robe! But, whatever! I'm not going to turn down a free makeover.
Come on in.
I'll show you around.
I see you're into spider webs.
Sure, they're classic, but overdone.
We see it was more of a modern witch.
Warlock! Yeah, whatever.
Hey, weren't you taller? Perry! Quick! Get me out of here before that whatever-inator zaps me! That tickles! I like it! Ooh, my Begone-inator! I'm gonna go check my crystal ball.
Come on! Doofy wants a new pair of boots! What's this? Well, they won't get away so easy this time! Hey! Why did you do that? It's part of the makeover.
Wait a minute! Guards! Again! Dude.
I'm good.
Run for it! Don't let them escape! Ooh! Candace! Perry! How convenient! Everyone's all together.
Yeah.
We're kinda expected in Bustopolis.
You know, The Wizard, great and powerful.
Shut up! You're a tree! Wait a minute! You can't talk to Jeremy like that! Put that bucket down! Melt, evil witch! Oh! Oh, you little brat! This outfit is 100% cotton.
Oh, it's shrinking! It's shrinking! I have to go change my clothes.
Sorry, I only meant to melt you.
Guards! Dispose of them while I switch into my track suit.
Dispose of us? Y-You don't really want to do that, do you? Well, no.
But, nobody ever asked us what we want to do.
Well, what do you want to do? There's a little number we've been working on.
Hit it, boys.
Well, we've been cooped up in this castle (Song: The Guards' Wishes) So who cares what people say We haven't had a chance to dance since we were on Broadway! Hey! The power of the wizard's all but stopped us from our dance What the hey! Everyone gets to sing but me? Now then boys, let's make some noise Kick up your heels and dance! Hey! All we've ever wanted was to be void of rants I'm back! Sheesh, no need to celebrate.
I've only been gone a minute.
But now we get to party Wait! But with his boots and pants Where are my prisoners? Hey! Oh, they're escaping, you fools! La la la la la la la la la la After them! Raise the drawbridge! Oh, great! La la la la la la la la la la la The monkey's the only one working here! Hey! Great! Now what? No way! Hold on! Curse you! Uh, I'll get you! Ahh! Oh, forget it.
Hey, Candace! Isn't this fun? Fun? Not if you think so! Huh? Squirrel! Squirrel! Wow, dumb luck.
And over the Sea of Razor Sharp Rock Spires, too.
Good thing it was so inappropriately named.
Get lost.
Hey! Look over there! Bustopolis! Come on! The stuff Phineas and Ferb made! It’s all here! The ultimate bust! Follow the yellow– Oh, shut up! What? Fun way to the top, Candace? Forget it! I'm taking the yellow stairs! Three, please.
Hello? I'm Candace the Me and– Whoa! Guys, you're making me look bad in front of The Wizard.
Uh, hello? I'd like speak to The Wizard, please.
Hello, Candace.
Mom? You're The Wizard? Well, I'm a bit of a whiz in the kitchen.
This time the boys are so busted! Have you seen what they've been up to? Up to? Why, no.
I– Oops, that's the oven.
Boys, can you hand out the gifts while I check on the casserole? Hey, Candace.
Phineas? Ferb? But, but, but, but Does this mean I would not receive coolness? Well, coolness is such a rare and indefinable quality that few people really have it.
Most people just wear a pair of these and fake it.
Hey! Works for me, chili cheese.
Yeah, don't oversell it.
So, Jeremy-Tree.
You want to be a real boy instead of a tree, hmm? Well, yeah.
But I'll bet you don't have anything in your bag for me.
The problem with you is, you're completely delusional.
I am? Sure.
You've been a real boy all along.
You're just wearing a tree costume.
He's right.
There's a zipper right back here.
Hey, let me get that off for you.
I'm free! and, I'm in my underwear.
Yes.
Yes, you are.
And you've come all this way just to say you want nothing.
But, are you sure you want nothing? Yes, I want nothing.
Some people say they want nothing, when really they want something.
Not really.
I'm cool, man.
You might want something later.
Nothing! You sure? Alright, I'll take something! Ooh, a ham sandwich.
I did want that.
And there's one more person with a wish.
Wait a minute! If you think you could bribe me or something– I'll get you, my pre–! And here he is now.
I want those red rubber boots! Sure.
Candace won't mind.
Right, Candace? Well, yeah.
But they won't come off.
Ferb? A red rubber shoe horn? Why didn't I think of that? That's it? Yep.
Have fun! (Song: My Red Rubber Boots) Well, my wardrobe, it used to be duller But now I got this one splash of color Look! I got red rubber boots And I'm gonna go steppin' tonight Broom me! Yes, I can go tip-tapping all over town I– Golly! Ugh, I didn't get to finish my song.
That's just great! Everybody gets what they want except me.
I'm back.
Now, what were you saying, Candace? Mom, you've got to bust Phineas and Ferb! Bust them for what? Unicorn-pony rides, non-dairy frozen treat ice skating, bouncing sidewalks.
That sounds like fun! Oh, you must have a wonderful time.
Fun? Are you kidding? I didn't have any fun! I followed the yellow sidewalk like I was told.
Who told you to do that? The Good Witch in the floating eyeball.
Oh, her.
That's what she tells everybody.
Take the yellow sidewalk.
Take the yellow sidewalk.
Take the yellow sidewalk.
All this time, the boys were only trying to show you the fun way to go.
The joy is in the journey, you know.
So, you're telling me that I could have fun throughout this entire adventure if I only stepped off the yellow sidewalk and join my doofus brothers? Is that it? On the nosy.
Loosen up, sweetheart.
Remember to have fun along the way.
Summer won't last forever.
But, I want to have fun.
I can do it.
Really! I'm a fun person! Good bye, dear.
Mustn't overcook my vegetables.
Wait! Don't go! I haven't had fun yet! Hey, what's happening? No! No, I'm waking up! I don't want to! This isn’t fair! I didn’t have any fun! No! Noo! No! Noo! Huh? No! It was all a dream.
The crazy, wild, fantastic dream and I blew it! Huh? Hi, Candace.
Oh, there you are, Perry.
We just built a self-balancing monster unicycle.
It can take us anywhere the fun way.
Wanna join us? Are you kidding? When I tell Mom what you guys are up to– Did you say fun? Often, the most fun can be found in your own backyard.
And the joy is in the journey.
Okay, I'm in! Cool! Oh, Jeremy, hi! Let's go! More fun than taking the sidewalk, huh, Candace? You have no idea.
Have fun, everybody! (Song: Rusted) I know what's wrong with you You're rusted! (Rusted!) Don't you know that you've been oxidized? Somebody left you in the rain too long And now you've been immobilized You're rusted! (Rusted!) If you move, you make a squeaking sound That's right, you've got an orange patina From above your neck down to the ground You're rusted! Yes.
Yes, I do.