Phineas and Ferb s02e61 Episode Script

by ashirogi27 I don't know, Stacy, between busting my brothers and trying to make Jeremy my boyfriend in time for school, I just can't seem to get anything done this summer.
Like my Jeremy and Me scrapbook.
I mean, I've cute pictures of Jeremy and cute pictures of me, but no cute pictures of both of us being cute together! It's a real problem.
But, time to check on Phineas and Ferb! Standing around, dorking it up, boring.
There's just too much for one person to do.
If only there were two of me One to bust my brothers and one to be with Jeremy.
Look at what Baljeet did to my candy bar.
He got peanut butter on my chocolate.
Look at this mess! Look at it! Buford, peanut butter and chocolate are really good together.
I don't wanna taste two things at one time! That's unnatural! Well, you're in luck.
We just finished our Molecular Separator.
It's our cool new machine that breaks things down into their component parts.
We used it to separate a mule into a horse and a donkey.
And to separate shampoo plus conditioner into shampoo and conditioner.
Ferb? Witchcraft! Try it.
Well? Singular goodness.
Why don't you grab your peanut butter and your swimsuit, and meet me at the flagpole.
Come on.
Let's see what else we can separate.
Agent P, Doofenshmirtz has been seen at the Danville public pool, installing some kind of new device.
We need you to get there immediately.
Good luck, Agent P.
Those kids are so busted! All I have to do is bring this to Mom.
Wow, it's heavier than I thought.
Must bust Phineas and Ferb! Ah, Jeremy.
Perry the Platypus, I'm glad you're here.
I'm just in line for the high dive.
You see, it reminds me of the high dive I knew as a kid at the Gimmelshtump Public Wetness Maker.
It wasn't so much of a pool, as it was just a– Well, let's just say that it only had water in it on alternating Thursdays, and leave it at that.
Anyhoo, in Gimmelshtump, jumping from the high dive was an important rite of passage.
Are you a man or a schnitzel? I'm a man, I'm a man.
Das kind ist ein schnitzel.
With all those people looking and laughing at me, I-I just couldn't do it.
Ich habe keinen sohn.
After that, my father and I became increasingly distant.
Zu nah! Now, I will conquer my fear and jump from the high dive.
But you know, I-I still don't want any of these people to look at me and make fun of me.
So, I invented the Look-Away-inator! You'd think it would attract a lot of attention at the public pool, but so far no one's noticed it.
It must be leaking or something.
Anyway, when I do my man making dive, you can bet that nobody in the Tri-State Area will be looking.
Sure, it would be tough for people who happen to be driving, plus, brain surgeons might have a problem too.
But, it's really a small price to pay for me becoming a man, right? You're right.
I gotta trap you.
Romance! Lalalalala! It's a Jeremy bedroom.
O.
M.
G.
Mom, Phineas and Ferb made me! Um, I've got some stretch marks that would say otherwise.
No, I mean they split me in half.
Well, not like I'm cut in half, but they've made another me.
Hear for yourself.
It's for you.
Hi, Jeremy! Not Jeremy, it's Mom.
Oh, hi, Mom.
Here's Candace.
See? That was a very nice imitation of yourself, Candace.
Love ya.
Bye.
No, wait! Hello? Ugh! Hey, Candace.
And hello to you, Candace.
Uh-oh.
Okay Ferb, change of plans.
You need to focus on what's important, you touchy-feely ninny! I love you.
Hey, guys.
So, it appears there's been a little mishap.
What say we fire up the ol' Molecular Splitter in reverse and– Forget it! I've only got one thing on my mind, and that's busting you! I'm going to the mall to get Mom.
Wait for me! Well, I guess I know what we're gonna do today.
Gotta find Mom.
Gotta find Jeremy.
(Song: Me, Myself and I) Me, myself and I don't see eye to eye Me, myself and I don't get along Me, myself and I can finally say goodbye This collaboration always felt so wrong There's two of us on the scene And I don't wanna sound mean But I'll tell you that I'm happy without me I've been holding me back But now I'm on my own track We're done Finito, I'm free! From here on out, we can both exist peacefully Without all of this struggle and internal strife (Internal strife) Now that we're separate, we can do anything So don’t let the door hit you, have a nice life (Have a nice life) I'm through with myself I’m better off without her (Myself and I) I'm through with myself I'm better off without her Me, myself and I don't get along (Without her) Hi, Mom.
Have you seen Jeremy? Doesn't he work over there at that hot dog stand? Oh, yeah.
Mom! Mom! Have you seen me? I see you right now.
Weren't you looking for Jeremy? No! Wow, twins.
That's a handful.
What? Y-You can go ahead if you want.
I'm not in that much of a hurry.
Uh-huh.
You have fun up there.
So Don’t talk to me, Mister.
There you go, little guy.
Hey, Candace.
Have you seen Candace? Well, I can see you right now.
No, no, no.
No.
Not "me" me.
The "me" that isn't me.
Uh You know "Blah-blah-blah.
Jeremy is so amazing.
Hearts, rainbows, and unicorns, blah!" That me.
Well, gosh.
I guess I could say, yes, I have.
Where? Nowhere.
I mean, not today.
Ugh! Well, if I come back and I have a flower in my hair, you tell me.
Find Candace, find Mom.
Bust, bust, bust! Hi, Jeremy.
Uh Hey, Candace.
You have a flower in your hair.
I know.
Okay, you're kinda scaring me.
Oh, I could just stare at you all day long.
Listen, I gotta get back to work.
But if you like, I can swing by your house after I'm done.
Really? I would love that! Okay then, I'll see you after work.
Something to remember me by? Okay.
Okay, maybe later.
Hey, Jeremy.
Hey, guys.
Have you seen Candace? Yeah, she was just here.
Was she talking about busting or was she oogling over you? Um Both.
She said something about going to find the other Candace and– And Mom and then she went all wild when I mentioned stopping by tonight.
Great! So, if we just find Mom, we'll find both Candaces.
Uh Tell them I say hi? Mister, come on.
It's your turn.
Are you some kinda a schnitzel? I'm a man! Not a schnitzel! I will prove it right now! Nobody calls me schnitzel anymore! I bet he doesn't even know what it means, the little– Hey.
Hey, wait a minute.
This isn't as bad as I remember.
It's so much worse! Schnitzel.
Mom, Mom, Mom! Mom, she's here! I've got Candace here with me! Come out and look for yourself! See? Two of us! Well, actually, right now I can see four of you.
That slippery vixen! Don't move.
I'll be right back.
Yes.
Yes, you will.
Bust, bust, bust, bust, bust, bust! My Jeremy is going to love this! There she is.
Well, I'm heading out.
Want a ride? But my sugar-boo is still– Candace! Isn't Jeremy coming over? You should be home getting ready.
Oh, they're right! Mom, let's go! How about you kids? Don't worry.
We'll be home soon.
One Candace down, one to go.
Phineas, Ferb! Have you seen the other Candace? We just saw her.
She's driving away with Mom.
If the Molecular Splitter doesn't just disappear when this is over, we should really consider destroying it.
Agreed.
My Jeremy, my Jeremy, my Jeremy and I will be forever.
My Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy will leave me never.
Ooh, Jeremy.
Yay, Jeremy! What was that noise? Jeremy's coming! Gotta get ready for Jeremy! Ugh! Where is she? Where is who? Candace! She was with you in the car! Yes, "she" was.
And?! Come on buddy, let's go! Watch out, schnitzel! Yeah! Boo-yah! Now that's a man! Hey, Candace! Look who's here early.
Ooh, my Jeremy is here! I'll be right with you, my love! She bought it! I guess love is blind.
Okay, okay, I'll show you.
My Turn-Away-inator and I are ready to go! That's it, look away! Fantastic.
Uh Everyone paid up on their insurance? I taste lilacs.
My Jeremy's here! My Jeremy's here! My Jeremy's here! Busted, busted, busted! Mom! Ferb, now! Yikes.
All right, Candace.
I'm here.
Now, I'm ready.
Oh, I didn't realize it would affect me, too! Not ready! I can't swim! I am a schnitzel! I am a schnitzel! Curse you and thank you, Perry the Platypus.
Perry! What are we looking at? I have no idea.
I could've sworn there were more people here.
What did you want, Candace? Nothing.
Suit yourself.
I wanna sing! I try so hard to keep you under wraps.
I can't do anything right, even with two of me! I can't bust my brothers.
I can't even– There you are, Candace.
Jeremy? Your mom said you got this picture frame for me at the mall today.
Uh, no.
I– I-I mean, that wasn't really me.
I mean– Not all of me.
I mean– Oh, this isn't coming out right.
Well, I think it's pretty cool.
You do? The only thing is It needs a picture.
Anybody got a camera? We're on it.
Say fromage.
Fromage!