Phineas and Ferb s02e62 Episode Script
Brain Drain (15 min)
by ashirogi27 Na, na, na Okay, boys.
I'm off to the store for as much Mucus Be Gone as I can carry.
Are you sure you're going to be okay? No worries, Mom.
We'll be perfectly fine.
Well, all right.
Bye.
Bye, Mom.
Aw, you guys really are sick.
Oh, you know us.
Nothing can ever keep us down.
That's great! You're completely incapacitated! That means I have the whole day to myself! I could spend all day on my Jeremy Scrapbook, or I could work on Jeremy: The Board Game, or I could go to the mall and watch Jeremy work from my hiding place behind the Weave 'n' Wave.
The possibilities are endless! This is gonna be the best sick day ever, for me! Best sick day ever, huh? Ferb, I know what we're gonnaâ All right, Ferb, implement our Sick Day Video Game Backup System.
Ready local area network.
What'cha doin'? You too, huh? Where's everyone else? Here we are.
So, everyone's sick in bed today, huh? Nah, I'm just lazy.
Cool, I think.
Hey, where's Perry? Agent P, I didn't know you were a germaphobe.
Carl, he's afraid of germs, just like you.
It's not the germs, sir, it's the garlic smell.
If you have something to say, Carl, spit it out! Ugh, never mind, sir.
Anyway, Doofenshmirtz has been seen racking up huge bills in Brain, Bath, and Beyond, the area's largest Big Box Mind Control Warehouse store.
Get to the bottom of it.
Monogram out.
Ah, Perry the Platypus.
I've been expecting you.
Sit anywhere, Perry the Platypus, make yourself at home.
So, what do you think of my De-Volitionator? Not to be confused with my De-Evolutionator from a few schemes ago.
You see, volition is our ability to choose what we are going to do.
Whereas, evolution Eh, that's got something to do with monkeys, I think.
But, this allows me to take over your volition and control what you do.
Like this, watch.
How do you feel, Perry the Platypus? Well, it doesn't matter because I'm in control.
Okay, turn, and let's go outside and see what this baby can really do! And let's make this snappy, I gotta pick up my daughter by five.
You remember Vanessa, right? Y-You know, you blew me up at her birthday party.
All right, gang, who wants to go first? I want to! Me! Me! Oh, me! Me! Let's let the computer decide.
Buford vs.
Isabella! I'm fighting a girl? This'll be easy! Ooh! Fight-uh! Patch sash smack attack! Isabella wins-uh! In your face, Buford! Doofenshmirtz's ex-wife's sports sedan! Thanks for driving me to the Scrapyard Invasion party, Mom.
Now remember, I won't be able to pick you up afterwards 'cause I'm gonna be getting my nails done.
So, I have your Dad picking you up.
Oh, that's cool.
If by cool you mean completely embarrassing me in front of the only people whose opinions matter to me.
At least he's trying.
Yes, very trying.
Do you remember the last time he picked me up? Vanessa, over here! Hop in! Ugh, don't ask! Maybe you should just let me off here.
At least I can start the party off with my dignity intact.
Whoops, too late! Look! It's the only people whose opinions matter to you.
Hey, Johnny.
Hey, Vanessa.
Nice ride.
Yeah, hold on to that thought.
My dad's picking me up.
Have fun at the dump.
Watch out for medical waste! All right, gang, let's see who's next.
Baljeet vs.
Ferb! Oh, great! It is not like Ferb is an internationally ranked video game wizard or anything! Fight-uh! Baljeet wins-uh! Ferb, did you let me win to save my fragile, nerdy ego? Oh, I'd never do that.
Look at all the freaks here.
I know, huh? Our peeps.
And look at this.
We're on the Internet.
What? This whole place is wired.
They've got cameras everywhere.
There's like, dozens of live feeds.
Oh, here's the crowd dancing, the DJ.
Here's the restroom.
Not cool, man.
Wow! This is like the coolest midday scrapyard rave ever! Okay.
Isabella and Baljeet won their battles.
So, who am I gonna battle? Phineas vs.
Phineas! Okay.
At least I'm evenly matched.
Fight-uh! Phineas wins-uh! I'm kicking my own butt! Left foot, right foot.
Left foot, right foot.
Okay, now, skip! I'm controlling Perry the Platypus And Uh Slap yourself! Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourselfâ I can make you do anything! Oh Oh! Eat that gum off the sidewalk! Oh, gross! You're really going to do it? Perry the Platypus, that's so unsanitary! Didn't your mother ever tell you not to do that? Ooh! Oh, it looks so horrible! I can't look, I can't look! Stop! Stop, Perry the Platypus, stop! Oh, man, that was great.
Now put it back down and do it again.
Awesome place for a dance party, huh? Yeah! I just saw a rat! Ugh, it's my dad.
Yes, Dad? Perry the Platypus almost ate gum off the sidewalk! Is that what you called to tell me? No, no.
I-I just called to remind you that I'll be picking you and your Visigoth friends up after the dance.
Dad, it's goths, not Visigoths.
And they're punks, not goths.
Uh Sorry, Alaric, I-I thought they were Visigoths.
But, you're not going to impress the punks.
You're free to go.
Oh, but I still get my pay raise! See, this is what it's like having a teenage daughter.
You're never cool enough.
Anyway Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself? Perry the Platypus, I can't believe you removed this shopping cart from the supermarket parking lot! You must be feeling so evil! Oh, look at the time.
I've got to go pick up Vanessa.
Mush, Perry the Platypus, mush! A junk yard? W-Why can't they have their party in a nice place, like the Caribou Lodge? You ever been to the Caribou Lodge, Perry the Platypus? They have a nice spread there.
Sweet ride, dude.
Thank you.
Platypus power.
Uh-oh.
Batteries are low.
Hmm Take five, Perry the Platypus.
Phew.
That was closeâ Uh-oh.
Power surge.
No, wait! Ooh, Perry level.
Nice graphics.
Okay, Perry the Platypus.
All charged up and ready toâ Oh, great.
Now, what's wrong with it? I didn't do that! I did that! But, I only seem to have control of his left arm.
Let me try! Cool! I've got control of his left leg! I've got his right arm.
Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself? Ferb's got right leg.
Oh, I have got back and forth! What's wrong with it? Stop that! Stop it! What is the goal of this game? I'm not sure.
Who cares? Let's just fight that old pharmacist! Sure! This must be the boss level.
All right, guys.
We work as a team on this one.
Uh-oh! Ready stance Now, taunt And jump! Great leap, leg team! I bet those flies are power-ups.
Let's see.
Oh, Perry the Platypus! Gross! That's worse than sidewalk gum! Oh, yeah! Perry the Platypus, w-what's gotten into you? He's trying to get away! Not on our watch! Now, now, Perry the Platypusâ Eat pig iron, old pharmacist! Stay back, Perry the Platypus! Back! Buford! I'm on it! On my mark, guys! Oh, my.
Wait! Baljeet, in! Whaâ Wait, w-why are you moving so deliberately? Roger! Legs Jump Wait.
W-What are you doing?! Buford! What areâ Eat it! Finish him off, Ferb! Nice one.
We won, gang! And if I may be so bold, I claim the right to throw Perry's hat in the air.
Huh.
Game over, I guess.
Aww.
Dad? That's your dad? No! I was at the Caribou Lodge once, and it was just like this.
Dad, why? Who's up for charades? Perry the Platypus, what are you doing down here? (Song: There's a Platypus Controlling Me) Dad? Oh, hi, Vanessa.
Dad, what are you doing? Well, I'll be honest, I don't really understand But I fell down this hill, now I got glue on my hands And I got records on my fingers Whaaat? Records on my fingers I got records on my fingers and I just can't stop Don't stop I can't stop, I got a platypus controlling me Whaaat? I got a platypus controlling me Now let me sum it up It was a strange set of circumstances Strange set of circumstances I fell down the hill, I got glue on my hands Now I got records on my fingers and I just can't stop Don't stop! Don't stop! Well, I would if I was able There's a platypus controlling me He's underneath the table There's a platypus controlling him Whaaat? Oh, I get it! Platypus is a metaphor for whatever's keeping you down! Like corporations are a platypus The government's a platypus Your teacher is a platypus My teacher is a panda Society's a platypus My parents are a platypus The media's a platypus It's all just propaganda Yeah, we all got a platypus controlling us No, just me We all got a platypus controlling us I'd stop if I was able We all got a platypus controlling us I'm not speaking metaphorically The platypus controlling me is underneath the table Wait! Oh, wait, no, he's gone! Hey! There's no platypus controlling me There's no platypus controlling me! Your dad's kinda cool.
You're my punk-rock boyfriend! You're not supposed to think my dad is cool! It only matters that I think he's cool.
She thinks I'm cool! Well, it looks like all our fevers have broken.
Ugh Except for Buford, who managed to get sick by laying in bed all day.
Oh, there you are, Perry.
Just in time for your walk.
Well, I'll be honest, I don't really understand But I fell down this hill, now I got glue on my hands And I got records on my fingers Whaaat? Records on my fingers I got records on my fingers and I just can't stop Don't stop I can't stop, I got a platypus controlling me Whaaat? I got a platypus controlling me Now let me sum it up It was a strange set of circumstances Strange set of circumstances I fell down the hill, I got glue on my hands, Now I got records on my fingers and I just can't stop Don't stop! Don't stop! Well I would if I was able There's a platypus controlling me He's underneath the table Whaaat?
I'm off to the store for as much Mucus Be Gone as I can carry.
Are you sure you're going to be okay? No worries, Mom.
We'll be perfectly fine.
Well, all right.
Bye.
Bye, Mom.
Aw, you guys really are sick.
Oh, you know us.
Nothing can ever keep us down.
That's great! You're completely incapacitated! That means I have the whole day to myself! I could spend all day on my Jeremy Scrapbook, or I could work on Jeremy: The Board Game, or I could go to the mall and watch Jeremy work from my hiding place behind the Weave 'n' Wave.
The possibilities are endless! This is gonna be the best sick day ever, for me! Best sick day ever, huh? Ferb, I know what we're gonnaâ All right, Ferb, implement our Sick Day Video Game Backup System.
Ready local area network.
What'cha doin'? You too, huh? Where's everyone else? Here we are.
So, everyone's sick in bed today, huh? Nah, I'm just lazy.
Cool, I think.
Hey, where's Perry? Agent P, I didn't know you were a germaphobe.
Carl, he's afraid of germs, just like you.
It's not the germs, sir, it's the garlic smell.
If you have something to say, Carl, spit it out! Ugh, never mind, sir.
Anyway, Doofenshmirtz has been seen racking up huge bills in Brain, Bath, and Beyond, the area's largest Big Box Mind Control Warehouse store.
Get to the bottom of it.
Monogram out.
Ah, Perry the Platypus.
I've been expecting you.
Sit anywhere, Perry the Platypus, make yourself at home.
So, what do you think of my De-Volitionator? Not to be confused with my De-Evolutionator from a few schemes ago.
You see, volition is our ability to choose what we are going to do.
Whereas, evolution Eh, that's got something to do with monkeys, I think.
But, this allows me to take over your volition and control what you do.
Like this, watch.
How do you feel, Perry the Platypus? Well, it doesn't matter because I'm in control.
Okay, turn, and let's go outside and see what this baby can really do! And let's make this snappy, I gotta pick up my daughter by five.
You remember Vanessa, right? Y-You know, you blew me up at her birthday party.
All right, gang, who wants to go first? I want to! Me! Me! Oh, me! Me! Let's let the computer decide.
Buford vs.
Isabella! I'm fighting a girl? This'll be easy! Ooh! Fight-uh! Patch sash smack attack! Isabella wins-uh! In your face, Buford! Doofenshmirtz's ex-wife's sports sedan! Thanks for driving me to the Scrapyard Invasion party, Mom.
Now remember, I won't be able to pick you up afterwards 'cause I'm gonna be getting my nails done.
So, I have your Dad picking you up.
Oh, that's cool.
If by cool you mean completely embarrassing me in front of the only people whose opinions matter to me.
At least he's trying.
Yes, very trying.
Do you remember the last time he picked me up? Vanessa, over here! Hop in! Ugh, don't ask! Maybe you should just let me off here.
At least I can start the party off with my dignity intact.
Whoops, too late! Look! It's the only people whose opinions matter to you.
Hey, Johnny.
Hey, Vanessa.
Nice ride.
Yeah, hold on to that thought.
My dad's picking me up.
Have fun at the dump.
Watch out for medical waste! All right, gang, let's see who's next.
Baljeet vs.
Ferb! Oh, great! It is not like Ferb is an internationally ranked video game wizard or anything! Fight-uh! Baljeet wins-uh! Ferb, did you let me win to save my fragile, nerdy ego? Oh, I'd never do that.
Look at all the freaks here.
I know, huh? Our peeps.
And look at this.
We're on the Internet.
What? This whole place is wired.
They've got cameras everywhere.
There's like, dozens of live feeds.
Oh, here's the crowd dancing, the DJ.
Here's the restroom.
Not cool, man.
Wow! This is like the coolest midday scrapyard rave ever! Okay.
Isabella and Baljeet won their battles.
So, who am I gonna battle? Phineas vs.
Phineas! Okay.
At least I'm evenly matched.
Fight-uh! Phineas wins-uh! I'm kicking my own butt! Left foot, right foot.
Left foot, right foot.
Okay, now, skip! I'm controlling Perry the Platypus And Uh Slap yourself! Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourselfâ I can make you do anything! Oh Oh! Eat that gum off the sidewalk! Oh, gross! You're really going to do it? Perry the Platypus, that's so unsanitary! Didn't your mother ever tell you not to do that? Ooh! Oh, it looks so horrible! I can't look, I can't look! Stop! Stop, Perry the Platypus, stop! Oh, man, that was great.
Now put it back down and do it again.
Awesome place for a dance party, huh? Yeah! I just saw a rat! Ugh, it's my dad.
Yes, Dad? Perry the Platypus almost ate gum off the sidewalk! Is that what you called to tell me? No, no.
I-I just called to remind you that I'll be picking you and your Visigoth friends up after the dance.
Dad, it's goths, not Visigoths.
And they're punks, not goths.
Uh Sorry, Alaric, I-I thought they were Visigoths.
But, you're not going to impress the punks.
You're free to go.
Oh, but I still get my pay raise! See, this is what it's like having a teenage daughter.
You're never cool enough.
Anyway Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself? Perry the Platypus, I can't believe you removed this shopping cart from the supermarket parking lot! You must be feeling so evil! Oh, look at the time.
I've got to go pick up Vanessa.
Mush, Perry the Platypus, mush! A junk yard? W-Why can't they have their party in a nice place, like the Caribou Lodge? You ever been to the Caribou Lodge, Perry the Platypus? They have a nice spread there.
Sweet ride, dude.
Thank you.
Platypus power.
Uh-oh.
Batteries are low.
Hmm Take five, Perry the Platypus.
Phew.
That was closeâ Uh-oh.
Power surge.
No, wait! Ooh, Perry level.
Nice graphics.
Okay, Perry the Platypus.
All charged up and ready toâ Oh, great.
Now, what's wrong with it? I didn't do that! I did that! But, I only seem to have control of his left arm.
Let me try! Cool! I've got control of his left leg! I've got his right arm.
Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself? Ferb's got right leg.
Oh, I have got back and forth! What's wrong with it? Stop that! Stop it! What is the goal of this game? I'm not sure.
Who cares? Let's just fight that old pharmacist! Sure! This must be the boss level.
All right, guys.
We work as a team on this one.
Uh-oh! Ready stance Now, taunt And jump! Great leap, leg team! I bet those flies are power-ups.
Let's see.
Oh, Perry the Platypus! Gross! That's worse than sidewalk gum! Oh, yeah! Perry the Platypus, w-what's gotten into you? He's trying to get away! Not on our watch! Now, now, Perry the Platypusâ Eat pig iron, old pharmacist! Stay back, Perry the Platypus! Back! Buford! I'm on it! On my mark, guys! Oh, my.
Wait! Baljeet, in! Whaâ Wait, w-why are you moving so deliberately? Roger! Legs Jump Wait.
W-What are you doing?! Buford! What areâ Eat it! Finish him off, Ferb! Nice one.
We won, gang! And if I may be so bold, I claim the right to throw Perry's hat in the air.
Huh.
Game over, I guess.
Aww.
Dad? That's your dad? No! I was at the Caribou Lodge once, and it was just like this.
Dad, why? Who's up for charades? Perry the Platypus, what are you doing down here? (Song: There's a Platypus Controlling Me) Dad? Oh, hi, Vanessa.
Dad, what are you doing? Well, I'll be honest, I don't really understand But I fell down this hill, now I got glue on my hands And I got records on my fingers Whaaat? Records on my fingers I got records on my fingers and I just can't stop Don't stop I can't stop, I got a platypus controlling me Whaaat? I got a platypus controlling me Now let me sum it up It was a strange set of circumstances Strange set of circumstances I fell down the hill, I got glue on my hands Now I got records on my fingers and I just can't stop Don't stop! Don't stop! Well, I would if I was able There's a platypus controlling me He's underneath the table There's a platypus controlling him Whaaat? Oh, I get it! Platypus is a metaphor for whatever's keeping you down! Like corporations are a platypus The government's a platypus Your teacher is a platypus My teacher is a panda Society's a platypus My parents are a platypus The media's a platypus It's all just propaganda Yeah, we all got a platypus controlling us No, just me We all got a platypus controlling us I'd stop if I was able We all got a platypus controlling us I'm not speaking metaphorically The platypus controlling me is underneath the table Wait! Oh, wait, no, he's gone! Hey! There's no platypus controlling me There's no platypus controlling me! Your dad's kinda cool.
You're my punk-rock boyfriend! You're not supposed to think my dad is cool! It only matters that I think he's cool.
She thinks I'm cool! Well, it looks like all our fevers have broken.
Ugh Except for Buford, who managed to get sick by laying in bed all day.
Oh, there you are, Perry.
Just in time for your walk.
Well, I'll be honest, I don't really understand But I fell down this hill, now I got glue on my hands And I got records on my fingers Whaaat? Records on my fingers I got records on my fingers and I just can't stop Don't stop I can't stop, I got a platypus controlling me Whaaat? I got a platypus controlling me Now let me sum it up It was a strange set of circumstances Strange set of circumstances I fell down the hill, I got glue on my hands, Now I got records on my fingers and I just can't stop Don't stop! Don't stop! Well I would if I was able There's a platypus controlling me He's underneath the table Whaaat?