Velma (2023) s02e99 Episode Script

Do you want to hear
a scary story?
I'm dead.
I was killed by a dog.
Thankfully, today is Halloween.
The one day a year a spirit can cross back
over into their body.
Or so I hope.
This spell's not working.
My body is still dead as hell.
Though nice job on
your Latin, everyone.
Not as easy to creepily chant
in unison as you might think.
I told you the spells in this book
wouldn't be strong enough, Mom.
They can't even revive the poached animals
in Fred's walk-in freezer.
I'm sorry, but anything stronger would
require my old dark magic spell book.
And I stopped messing with that years ago.
It's too dangerous.
The book will corrupt a user's soul
in its thirst for power.
Even just discussing it
is affecting the lighting.
But Velma has
to come back today.
She's my date to the Sexy Halloween party
in the graveyard tonight.
Wait, that's why you want me to come back?
The stupid party?
Not just that, obviously.
Though half of the pictures
in the yearbook are from this party.
We should go if possible.
Girls, stop.
Thorn, Velma is all I have.
And if she ascends to the afterlife,
my mother will just turn her against me.
Where is your evil spell book?
The historical society.
If they still even have it.
I donated it after its evil demanded
a blood sacrifice on All Hallows' Eve.
The same All Hallows' Eve
the Black Knight first appeared.
- Who's the Black Knight?
- There's no time.
We have to go
to the historical society.
Fred, stay here and make sure your
cleaning lady doesn't throw away my body.
Will not happen again. Promise.
Okay, once inside,
we split up and find that book.
It's 5:00 a.m.,
meaning we only have
19 hours of Halloween left to bring me
back. Nothing can stop us.
Oh, Norville,
how could this happen?
Why would Dot wear
a sexy kitten costume?
She was 91.
She can't pull it off.
Man, do I have an extra-creepy
feeling about this one.
- Like we're being watched.
- I don't feel that at all.
Velma, get out of there. We're the only
ones who know you're a ghost.
If anyone sees you,
they're gonna freak out.
I know. I'm just trying to figure out
She is wearing a sexy costume.
She fell from a high place.
It is Halloween.
Velma, you know only idiots believe
the legend of the Black Knight.
Excuse me, everyone. It seems Dot
was killed by the Black Knight.
What?
Velma.
- Daphne?
- No.
Up here.
Okay, will someone please tell
me who the Black Knight is?
And is it racist?
Because it sounds racist.
It's not, amazingly.
It's just some stupid story
parents made up to try and stop the
Sexy Halloween party in the graveyard.
You only say that because
you weren't there, Red.
I was. In fact, it was the very first
Sexy Halloween party.
Like today, the popular kids
planned the whole thing.
And as such,
only the sexiest got in.
Losers did not.
However, one particularly
huge loser
in a black knight costume
was undeterred.
He tried to sneak in
through the woods,
but was caught,
and when he ran,
the popular kids caught him
to his death.
And now, every couple of years
on Halloween,
someone in a sexy costume
dies in a falling accident.
Or were they pushed
by the ghost of the Black Knight?
This sounds like good old puritanical
propaganda against sexual expression.
Thank you. Just admit you all hate
your kids wearing sexy costumes
and want us going to the lame unsexy party
you chaperone at school instead.
Daphne, a docent in a sexy costume
is dead, and she's not even hot.
You could wear a garbage bag tonight and
we'd want you in the gym with the dorks.
And the unsexy party
- Tell her, Norville.
- Yup, it's fun-adjacent.
What? I thought you were going
to the sexy party with Lola.
What?
What happened to the lights?
Daphne.
Chill, it's just me.
I found the evil spell book.
What's happening?
Father, I told you,
Velma's not trash.
I know Velma's not trash.
But seeing her, well, dead
next to my chicken nuggets
makes me realize we need
to talk about something
I've been putting off.
And it's serious.
Oh, no. You're dying.
But you haven't taught me
how to tie a neckerchief yet.
No, Fred.
You're bad with money.
What? How can you say that?
I'm great with money.
I spend the crap out of it.
Yes. And while it's admirable
you're preserving Velma here,
we are losing thousands of dollars a day
in energy costs and ice cream.
Father, I get it.
But I have a pretty good feeling
doctors are this close
to bringing Velma back.
Wait, that's the spell book?
Oh, no.
Father, I need $5,000
and for you to not be a pill about it.
- Why?
- What does "not be a pill" mean to you?
Fine.
What do you mean the book spoke to you?
LikeThe Fault in Our Stars?
Nothing will speak to me
likeThe Fault in Our Stars.
No, it literally spoke to me with words,
and it is definitely evil.
- Wait, what? What did it say?
- It was awful.
Over here.
No. On the left.
Further left!
Oh, my God, are you blind?
You moron.
This is crazy.
I know. But I'm also a ghost.
We're in uncharted territory.
Everything I once believed
is kinda out the window.
So is that why you suggested
Dot might have actually been
killed by the Black Knight?
Obviously. And if the Sexy
Halloween party was canceled,
maybe I'd have
your full attention today.
Full attention?
You do have my full attention.
Hold up. There's a problem
with the party set-up. I have to run.
- You're leaving?
- Just for a second.
Grab the evil talking book
and I will be right back.
Fine, but there's no way
we're doing sexy pottery later.
Well, it looks like
it's just you and me, jerk.
That won't
help you now, Velma.
What?
Norville, let me see.
Is it sexy or sexy as hell?
Well, yeah, "sexy" is one way
to describe it. Another might be "cold"?
Cold? But you look so hot.
We are going to be the sexiest
Pinky and The Brain ever.
It's perfect.
And really smart,
because I used to be a brain in a jar.
Sure, but maybe
the truly smart play here
is checking out that
unsexy party in the gym.
I mean, just because of Dot's
murder and the legend and all.
Oh, my God. You sound
just like my parents.
Now, come on,
it's Sexy Halloween, baby.
Crypts out, nips out.
Oh, my God! She's here!
That's a nice reception, but I can only
stay a minute. Now what's so urgent?
I think she was talking
about me.
Saweetie! I can't believe it.
You actually came
to perform at our party.
Or did your bus
just break down?
That's usually how celebrities
end up in Crystal Cove.
No, I came to perform.
When you DM'd me 1,000 times
saying your girlfriend had died
saving the town
from an evil talking dog
and the only thing that could
cheer people up was me,
I was like,
"This girl is crazy."
But then, I had my people look into it
and, oh, my God.
That actually happened.
Girl, I am so sorry.
- Thank you.
- Let me finish.
- I'm so sorry because I have to cancel.
- What?
Daphne, I'm very sexy,
and I just heard there's some knight
killing people
in sexy costumes.
I tried putting on a turtleneck,
but I was still too sexy.
Turtlenecks are low-key hot.
Shoot! Velma.
Look, I have to run, but the Black Knight
isn't real. Please perform.
I would, but my backup dancers
refused to come,
even though I promised
to beef up my security.
Oh. Well, I dunno if this is crazy,
but I know all your dance moves.
We all do. Not just Daphne.
All of us. She's not special.
Really? Let's go see.
If you're good enough to go on,
I can still do the concert.
- Oh, my gosh.
- We're gonna perform with Saweetie!
Daphne. Where the hell are you?
Velma, I can explain.
But not well.
So I'm just gonna ask
what you're even doing here.
Fred texted me to meet him
in the graveyard
and while on the way, I saw
Velma on the side of the road.
Running away from
the Black Knight. He's real!
He attacked me at the historical society
and I couldn't get the evil spell book.
And let's all
be grateful for that.
And the timing of my entrance.
How perfect was that?
What are you
talking about, Fred?
I arrived at the perfect moment
in the conversation.
- Not that.
- Right.
I know about that evil spell book from
my Spooky Stuff Hunting research.
It's nasty. It would have tried
to corrupt us to do its bidding.
Fortunately, I was able
to buy another copy.
Won't that also try
to corrupt us?
No. The actual evil book
is the only one in existence.
I just purchased a $5,000
audiobook version.
Hello. This is A Witch's Guide
to Dark Magic,
and I am your narrator,
Richard Kind.
Now you may be asking yourself,
why is Drama Desk
and Independent Spirit Award winner,
Richard Kind, narrating this audiobook?
Well, it's because,
as an actor,
it's not the size of the part
that counts,
it's the size of the paycheck.
Fred, I could listen to this all day,
but you have to skip forward.
I only have until midnight
to come back.
"Evil Spell One.
How to smite your sister's milking goat."
- That's not it.
- "Evil Spell 23.
How to summon
an army of zombies."
"Evil Spell 57.
How to create
a large language model AI."
"Evil spell 74.
How to reunite a spirit
with its corporeal form."
That's it. Norville, wake up.
The spirit must first summon
their ascension light.
Easy. Take me away,
Angela Lansbury.
Now, the spell
will use this light
to transport the spirit back to their
body instead of the sweet hereafter.
But first, a triangle
must be drawn around it.
Why? I don't know.
I didn't write this thing.
Now once that's done,
recite the following incantation.
"Spirit world, let 'insert name here'
cross back over."
Spirit world, let Velma
cross back over.
Spirit world, let Velma
cross back over.
- It's working.
- What? What happened?
- Oh, boy!
My thumb was covering
part of it. It says,
"Before the spirit can cross
back over into their body,
each person must first successfully
face their greatest fear."
Face our greatest fears?
I'm sorry. I should have said that first.
That seems important.
Why do we have to face
our fears to bring me back?
Can't I just sell my soul
to Satan or something?
No, it makes sense.
See, dark magic runs on fear.
I think that's actually why
spirits can only cross over
on Halloween
in the first place.
Because Halloween is
the scariest day of the year.
After St. Patrick's Day, of course.
But how does it work?
So by now, you're wondering,
"How does this work?
"Well, when you find your fear,
a triangle will appear on your wrist.
And once you've faced it,
the triangle will disappear
and the light will carry the spirit
back into their body. Good luck!
Okay, what's everyone's
greatest fear?
Mine is either global warming
or Taylor Swift retiring.
Let's pray it's global warming.
Oh, God. Oh, God, no!
Father, Father, pick up!
Guys, we cannot freak out.
We have to face our fears
to bring you back.
But what if mine is you dying?
Wouldn't that be ironical?
- You mean "ironic."
- Oh, no! I'm stupid! Kill me. Kill me!
Norville, stop.
Your triangle didn't appear.
Being stupid is not
your biggest fear.
Well, I'll keep looking.
Stay brave, y'all.
Okay, while we figure out
what our fears are,
you need to warn the popular girls
about the Black Knight and stop the party.
Yes. You're right. Absolutely.
It's just, you're sure you saw him?
Yes, I saw him.
Why would I lie about that?
He's a random ghost, not Tupac.
No, I just wanna be sure.
A lot of work went into the party.
And it would be a shame for everyone
to miss it if not necessary.
Daphne, your triangle.
It appeared when you mentioned
missing the party.
Hold up.
FOMO!
I guess that makes sense.
I've been through a lot
in my life.
Abandoned by my parents, almost killed
on multiple occasions, dated Fred.
FOMO just must be
my biggest remaining fear.
- Wait. Now your triangle's appeared.
- What?
Wait, the party's not also
a jazz festival, is it?
You're coming
with me, hot stuff.
What do you mean
my costume's not sexy enough?
Sexy Isaac Newton
is practically redundant.
Father, please don't be dead.
Who will pay my cell phone bill?
Fred?
Oh, Father, I thought you died.
What are you doing here?
And why are you wearing a suit and
sunglasses like you're at the ESPYS?
Because I just got a job as one
of Saweetie's extra security guards.
- It was BYO gun.
- What are you talking about?
Fred, given all the mishaps of our family,
your mother being a serial killer,
a dog attacking my wedding,
the Jones Gentlemen's Accessories
stock crashed.
- We're poor.
- What? No!
Yes, but I might be able to also get you
a job on Saweetie's security team.
A job?
No! Kill me! Kill me!
Hey!
No triangle.
Okay, well, if my greatest fear
isn't awkward silences, what is?
You're here.
And you look so sexy.
I know I pushed you out of your comfort
zone, but so worth it.
Pretty sure my midriff is frozen
but I'm genuinely glad you like it.
Wait. Could that
be my biggest fear?
Your midriff freezing? Me too.
No, Lola, I have to tell you something
that I think I've been afraid to say
because I was worried
you were trying to change me.
But now I realize I have to say it,
for the better, I think.
I love you.
What? Oh, Norville,
I love you too.
But I thought my fear
was saying "I love you."
Which I faced.
Why didn't it go away?
Sorry,
I'm too shocked to focus.
The way you acted
in the costume shop
made me think you were
gonna break up with me.
Break up with you?
But that would hurt you
and I'm far too thoughtful to
ever purposefully hurt anyone.
Oh, no.
No! Let me go!
Velma, help!
No! Please don't kill her.
Take literally anyone else at the party.
Hell, I'll shortlist it
for you.
I don't wanna
kill her, Velma.
I only grabbed her
to get your attention.
Very delicately, I might add.
I respect sexiness.
What? What are you
talking about?
Your whole deal is pushing
sexiness to its death.
No. That's what I was trying to tell
you earlier, but you ran away.
I'm being framed.
Framed? So you weren't
pushed to your death
by popular kids in
sexy costumes?
No. I was.
Which, yes, looks bad.
But since that night,
I think one of my killers
has continued to murder people
and use the legend
of the Black Knight as a cover.
Does this look like
the face of a murderer?
Oh, my God.
Daphne, he's just a dork.
Maybe even a twerp.
I don't know about that. My mom's friend,
Liz, called me a cutie pie.
And my brother used to give me all his
Okay, but you also died back
when people still said "skin mags."
How am I the first person
you're telling this to?
Because if ghosts talk
to living people,
they might die from fear.
Also, you solve mysteries.
And you want to know who killed
you and everyone else
before you pass on,
so you can rest in peace.
Yes. But also, if I just let
my killers get away with it,
I'll look like a total goober in front
of the angels when I do pass on.
- You're not wrong about that.
- Velma, you can't be considering this.
It's nine o'clock. You only have three
hours to face your fear and come back.
Two if we want
to hit the party.
That's just it, Daphne.
He made my triangle appear.
I think solving his murder will lead me
to whatever fear I have to face.
I know can do this
before midnight.
Okay, what do you know about
the people who killed you?
- Nothing.
- Crap!
Now, since you know nothing
about who killed you,
let's start at the beginning.
According to the legend,
you didn't get into the party
because you were,
quote, a loser.
- And I told you that wasn't true.
- You're wearing a knight costume.
- Knights are sexy.
- I actually agree.
- You do? 'Sup.
- Knights are sexy.
Knight costumes are dorky and tryhard.
I don't make the rules.
And what's the rule
on dismissive glibness?
- Always rude or always extremely rude?
- Sorry, I'm watching something.
Yeah, now is when people usually
start making out at this thing.
No. Gross.
Gigi just took the big party
group photo for the yearbook.
I thought if I missed that,
I would have faced my FOMO.
But no, my hell continues.
Wait, a group photo
for the yearbook.
Do the popular girls
take one every year?
Yes, but I can't
photoshop myself
from last year's picture
into this year's. They'll know.
No. If there's a group photo
from the year this guy was killed,
maybe his killers are in it.
We have to get to the yearbook office.
Hey, so we need to talk.
If you need time to think about your
"Lola Forever" tattoo, there's no rush.
No. Okay,
this isn't easy for me.
I've just realized my biggest fear in the
world is hurting someone I care about.
Still, I think
we should break up.
What?
Well, that really sucks
as you just said you love me.
But if that's how you feel,
I don't wanna be with someone
who doesn't wanna be with me.
Wait, so you're not hurt?
I really thought you'd be hurt.
Hurt? No. I may love you
but I love myself more,
and I refuse to give you
that power.
Oh, well, in that case,
I guess we don't have to break up.
- You wanna go dance or something?
- What? So you wanted to hurt me?
No. Not at all.
But are you hurt now?
No! I'm just pissed, you sociopath!
Are you hurt?
These old yearbooks
are insane.
Were white guys required to wear
afro wigs to costume parties?
Wait,
this might be the one.
That's you, right?
Geoff "PT" Wickles?
Why was your nickname "PT"?
You also
a Probability Theory fan?
What? No. I think
it was for "Party Time."
Yeah. Geoff "Party Time"
Wickles feels right.
It was crazy.
If your nickname
was Party Time,
why'd you have to sneak
into the Sexy Halloween party?
Right? The mystery deepens
with every step.
Anyway, this yearbook
isn't the right year.
Okay, but you need someone
to give you a nickname.
Like, without my eye doctor,
I'm not "The Freak."
Didn't anyone look
into your death?
At first. But my body was never found.
And life goes on.
So, as the legend
of the Black Knight grew,
Geoff "Party Time Keg Slayer
King of the Ladies" Wickles
Totally forgotten.
Hey, where's Daphne?
"Gigi, can you edit me
into group pic?"
Yes!
- Daphne.
- Velma.
What are you doing in here?
I was trying to do
that cool ghost thing
where I appear behind you
in a mirror.
But you were too focused
on the party to notice.
Velma, I can explain.
But again, not well.
Unbelievable. Do you wanna know the real
reason Geoff made my triangle appear?
I realized it's because my biggest fear
is being forgotten, just like he was.
What? How can anyone forget you?
You saved this town twice.
And every stall in this bathroom
has one of your limericks.
And yet, a week after I died,
everyone in town is just going about
Halloween as if I never existed.
My parents, Norville.
I mean, my own girlfriend
won't even miss a party
to bring me back.
So you know what? Forget it.
Why even bother coming back?
Beam me up, Angela.
No. Stop! The reason I'm so focused
on the party is because of you.
Me? I don't even
like Sexy Halloween, Daphne.
We already have candy.
Adding boobs and abs is overkill.
I know. But I knew everyone would be
there when you came back.
And I thought we'd say
you made a miraculous recovery
and then turn it into a huge
welcome back party for you.
- I even got Saweetie to perform.
- What? I love Saweetie.
Why wouldn't you just tell me that?
Oh, God, no!
Angela, turn it off.
- Velma, grab my hand!
- No, stay away!
Oh, no!
Velma, I'm not ready to go.
I never made any of the recipes
in my saved folder.
How? You send me three a day and say,
"I'm totally gonna make this."
I know. But I don't.
And now, I'll never eat
a pesto feta egg.
Oh, yes, you will.
Hold on!
Geoff, thank God
you had Daphne's camera.
But why is this zoomed in on
a picture of Kimmy's cleavage?
Oh, I don't know. Probably just friggin'
happened while rescuing you.
Velma, your triangle is gone.
I must have faced my fear
of being forgotten by almost ascending.
Even better, you were right about
the group photo in the yearbook.
I found my killers, guys.
Daphne, it's our parents.
What the hell is going on in here?
Oh, God! The Black Knight!
All right, Fred. Let's see if you have
what it takes to protect me.
We'll start easy.
These days, artists have to deal with
idiots throwing stuff at their heads.
On it.
Do better, guys.
Okay, let's see if you can
handle crowd control.
Saweetie, let me get a picture.
No way, guy. Let me take it.
And I'll even put Saweetie's number
in there so you can send it to her.
Okay, personal umbrella holder.
There's literally no way
to mess this job up.
Thank you.
- And can we get one for Saweetie?
- Oh, my gosh. Get away from me.
Great. Now what?
Geoff, stop.
There must be some mistake.
There's no way
our parents killed you.
Run! Or he's gonna kill us
just as brutally as we killed him.
What?
No! Please! Spare me and I'll help you
kill the others.
Wait, what are you doing?
I'm gonna throw you against
the wall so hard, you die.
Ghosts do that a lot
in movies.
Ghost strength!
Guys, stop hiding.
I think we're gonna be okay.
No, you're not.
You're gonna pay.
Great. I've waited
over 30 years
to get my badass revenge,
and all the hot angels
will still just think
I'm a goober.
You were serious about that?
What is going on?
And is Velma also a ghost?
Because that will affect what
I say about her at her funeral.
Yes, I'm a ghost.
But the real question is,
why did you guys
do a straight-up
I Know What You Did 35 Halloweens Ago
to Geoff Wickles?
Your name is Geoff Wickles?
Sorry, we only ever knew you as PT.
And we didn't murder you.
It was an accident.
An accident?
Yes. We caught you watching us
make out in the woods
like a perv,
and chased you off.
But as we got close to the cliff's edge,
we tripped.
And accidentally
pushed you off.
Wait, you were watching them
in the woods like a perv?
What? No.
I mean, I saw stuff,
but not on purpose.
I was sneaking in,
like the legend says.
Geoff, come on. Everyone called you "PT"
because you're a Peeping Tom.
Okay, fine. But in the '80s,
that was considered funny, not pervy.
And it's certainly
not a reason to murder me.
We didn't murder you.
It was an accident.
That's why we all host this
lame unsexy Halloween party.
You think we wanna be here? No.
But it's all we can do
to keep people in sexy costumes
from paying for our mistake.
But it wasn't a mistake.
At the cliff's edge,
I heard one of you whisper,
"Push him."
Wait, hold on.
You heard a whisper?
Velma.
Its evil demanded a blood sacrifice
on All Hallows' Eve.
Velma, are you gonna
finish your point or what?
Yes. Geoff was murdered.
And not only did his killer kill all those
other people in sexy costumes,
I think they're gonna
strike again tonight.
Saweetie, please. I need a job.
I brought my friend, Norville,
to vouch for me.
Saweetie, don't hire Fred.
He's useless.
Dude, I told you,
she already knows that.
I know. I was trying to hurt your feelings
to make my triangle disappear.
Hello, Crystal Cove.
Who's ready to get crazy?
And also, remember Velma,
your dead friend.
Anyway, hit it.
Okay, spread out. We're looking
for someone in a black knight costume.
Daphne, you're with me.
I can't. I have to miss this concert
or you won't come back.
Oh, shoot. Is that Daphne
way back there?
Daphne, get your ass up here.
- Coming.
- Daphne.
Sorry. I'll be in the car.
It worked!
What the hell?
This cheap-ass stage.
The lighting rig.
We're too late. Look!
Oh, no. Saweetie!
Fred?
That's right. I did a job.
It was awful, but I did it.
Stop congratulating yourself.
We have to go.
- Guys, the killer is still getting away.
- Oh, no, he's not.
Come here, you!
Oh, no! I tripped again!
No!
Geoff, you saved them!
Yeah, but does it look cool
for the angels?
Okay, so, hold on,
let me get this straight.
- You're both ghosts?
- Yes.
And let me say, you seem
to be handling it very well.
Yeah, well, if Fred can save me,
I guess anything is possible.
But if Geoff didn't try
to kill me, who did?
- Evelyn?
- Yes.
I figured it out when Geoff said he heard
someone whisper, "Push him."
Thorn had mentioned the book
demanded a blood sacrifice,
so I realized the book
must've corrupted Evelyn
after Thorn donated it
to the historical society.
Okay. But why kill Geoff, and then pretend
to be his ghost to kill others?
Because dark magic
needs fear to work.
And Halloween
was its most powerful day.
But when Sexy Halloween
became popular,
sexy costumes replaced
the scary ones
and the book became powerless.
Help me.
So I decided
to create a scary legend
that would discourage teens
from wearing sexy costumes.
- Push him.
- But it didn't work.
Even I after continued to kill
people in sexy costumes,
people would not stop
slutting it up on Halloween.
Which is why
you came here tonight,
to try and generate
your biggest scare yet
by killing Saweetie in front of everyone.
Case closed.
And that's why we had
to face our biggest fears.
To generate the power the spell
needed to bring Velma back.
But it didn't work.
I'm still here.
Yeah, sorry, it's me.
I still need to hurt someone I care about.
But don't worry, I got this.
Evelyn, I will not
be writing you in prison.
You monster.
It worked. I'm coming back!
Now.
- Oh, my God.
- What's happening?
That's bad, right?
It seems bad.
Yes, that's bad. Not only am
I not going back in my body,
Geoff is going back in his.
Well, that's nice
for Geoff at least, right?
Well, Geoff's body has been
underwater for 35 years.
Geoff, no!
Lots of people leaving.
Think there's room for us now?
Geoff, I know this is bad, but you have
to stop scaring everyone.
It's too late, Velma!
I have the power I need
to raise an army of zombies.
And then I'll have the power I need
to rule the world!
No!
- Velma, what do we do?
- Hey, what gives, Daph?
How are these zombie costumes
sexier than ours? Let us in.
Wait. Sexy Halloween.
That's it.
We can combat the fear
with sexiness.
But, Velma, our sexiest people,
the hot girls, are all banged up.
That's a very narrow view
of sexiness, Daphne.
There's no one way to be sexy, because
everyone finds different things sexy.
Sure, we all love us some
glistening, sweat-covered abs
plunging seductively
into a loose pair of jeans,
but hidden talents
can also be sexy.
- Or being a good listener.
- What?
- Kidding. I learned my lesson.
- Oh, hold on.
Or guys who are good
with babies.
Which, yes,
is rooted in sexism.
But you still can't deny
the sexy-ism.
- Where's she been?
- Trunk.
Thank you, Saweetie.
That's always been my problem
with Sexy Halloween too.
I actually think,
of all the sexy things you do,
the sexiest are your hustle
and business acumen.
Wow, that's so nice. Thank you.
Now come on, everybody.
Whatever's sexiest
about you, do it.
Though, Velma, while I appreciate you
liking my hustle, I'm gonna dance. Hit it!
Oh, snap.
Elf ears?
Momma!
Velma. Your plan's working!
I have never found you sexier.
No! Stop that!
Especially you,
sexy young Santa Claus.
Father, what's going on?
Our sexiness has only
ever come from wealth.
Yes! Jones Gentlemen's
Accessories is back.
Because you saved her, Saweetie wants
to do a Saweetie for JGA line.
All nails, baby.
Hey, stop watching us
make out, you pervo.
Oh, God. Our parents were right.
You are a Peeping Tom, Geoff.
Velma, the sexiness
is wearing off.
We all have to start
making out again.
We can't with Geoff
watching us.
Oh, stop groaning.
You'll be kissing soon enough.
Kissing your sweet asses
goodbye.
Velma, what are we gonna do?
You're gonna promise
you'll always remember me.
What? How are you still
hung up on that?
Selfishness is the opposite
of sexy.
I know. So, brace yourself,
because I'm about to make this
the sexiest damn
Halloween ever.
Angela Lansbury, now!
- What's happening? No!
- Velma!
- Oh, no!
- What have you done, you fool?
I just saved Crystal Cove
again, lady.
And it cost you
your soul, dummy.
My light is going
straight to hell.
Damn it. I better get a statue
in the middle of town.
Velma!
Where is she?
She's gone.
And while I know
Velma is in a better place,
I also know part of her
will always be in our hearts.
Reminding us to think deeper,
act smarter,
and never sneeze when your mom
is cutting your hair.
- Daphne?
- Sorry.
- I feel like I can hear her now.
- Daphne!
Wait.
I can hear her. Velma!
Oh, my God, I'm alive. But how?
Oh, God. I'm so happy.
Wait. You're still here?
Congratulations, Fred.
You've now taken the first step
towards raising hell.
You'll make a wonderful
disciple of evil.
Thank you, Richard Kind.
Again, this
is not actually Richard Kind.
This is the evil spell book
speaking to you
with Richard Kind's voice.
I understand, Richard Kind.
Oh, boy.