Alexa & Katie (2018) s03e01 Episode Script

1 [ALEXA.]
After everything that happened last year, I decided to see a therapist.
And it was pretty helpful, like the day I brought Katie.
You remember Katie.
[SQUEAKY TOY SQUEAKING.]
My super annoying, know-it-all best friend.
So, when you asked to bring Katie with you today, you said you'd had a fight.
A big fight.
- Huge.
- It was just big.
[SQUEAKY TOY SQUEAKING.]
Okay.
So what would you say was the cause of this big, huge, larger-than-average fight? - [BLOWS RASPBERRY.]
I think it was - Probably when - Um - Or it was I have a better idea.
You said the fight started last night.
Let's go through yesterday, hmm? It was the first day of 11th grade.
You see, first days of school are really big for us.
[CHUCKLE.]
Huge.
Oh, so that can be huge? [KATIE.]
Anyway, it was the first day of 11th grade.
Hey first day of school.
Exciting! Dad, I'm a junior now.
It's not, "Oh, I'm so excited!" anymore.
[SHORT GASP.]
We're juniors! Ah! I'm so excited! Seriously? - Trade.
- Trade.
Mmm, yeah.
Ha! I can't believe it.
We're upperclassmen, we look amazing, and I'm driving to school with a licensed adult in the car.
[SIGHS.]
Sorry, honey, I got a bunch of stuff planned for your mom's and my anniversary and I really wanna live to enjoy them.
Dad, if we wanna get our licenses we have to do more than practice practice-driving on Katie's couch, and my driver's ed teacher said I need as much time behind the wheel as possible.
He also said don't drive within 30 miles of his house.
Oh, he was kidding.
He was trembling.
But he's always trembling.
[CHUCKLES.]
I mean, it's like, get a sweater, dude.
[CHUCKLES.]
[DAVE CHUCKLES.]
- Good morning.
- Hey.
We wanted to be here when Lucas left for college.
And for fancy "first day of school" breakfast.
[CHUCKLES.]
I just see toast.
Lori and I are going to brunch.
We've been married 20 years today.
Oh, that's beautiful.
So just toast and cold cereal then? Honey, I put some extra underpants in your suitcase next to your night light and soft blankie.
Oh, you look so handsome.
I also left you a note that I wrote you when you were seven years old about how much I was gonna miss you when you went off to college.
I used a quote from "Hollaback Girl.
" Just ignore that.
I'm only gonna be an hour away.
This whole thing is bananas.
B-A-N-A-N-A-S.
[SHORT BREATHS.]
Honey, are you sure you don't want us to drive you? I mean, we can set up your dorm, help you meet new friends.
Make sure they know the Heimlich.
You've never been a strong chewer.
I'm in college now.
I don't need my mommy.
Here's your snack bag to go.
Ooh, Go-Gurts! Well I'm off.
- [GROAN.]
Don't mess up.
- Well, I'll try not to.
- Bye.
- Bye, buddy.
[GRUNTS.]
It's gonna be weird being the only guy around here.
Seriously? You got this, Jack, but maybe don't wear a bathrobe to school.
It's a gi.
Cal quit Taekwondo and gave it to me.
I'm wearing it to school so people know I'm cool.
If that doesn't work, at least you'll know some self-defense.
- Bye, guys.
- Bye.
[SIGHS.]
Cherish this time, Jennifer.
[JACK FARTS.]
Every minute.
Um Taekwon toots.
It happens.
A lot.
Wow.
First kid is in college.
So who's ready for some anniversary brunch? I'm so excited.
Oh, honey, I know.
I'm sad, too.
But you know what helps is French toast.
[CHUCKLES.]
[ALEXA.]
Speed it up, Katie.
Therapy is only 50 minutes.
[TAPE SPEED SOUND EFFECTS.]
[KATIE.]
I am painting a picture.
Stop rushing me.
We're officially juniors! We get to have lunch off-campus.
- Junior section at football games.
- Junior hallway.
Junior night out.
- Oh, what's junior night out? - Any night we go out.
Oh, yeah, best first day of school ever.
Yeah.
[CHUCKLES.]
We were so young and naive back then.
You mean yesterday? [SQUEAKY TOY SQUEAKING.]
[SQUEAKY TOYS SQUEAKING CONTINUOUSLY.]
I've got you When I can't take it any longer You make me feel stronger I've got you When I can't take it You make me so much better We'll do this together Oh-oh-oh-oh We'll do this together I've got you Oh-oh-oh-oh We'll do this together We're in the junior hallway.
We are so in the junior hallway.
But it's like, where did the rest of tenth grade go? I know, it was my birthday and then, boom, here we are in 11th grade.
Katie went to London.
- Alexa had more good checkups.
- Lucas and Gwenny broke up.
Ryan and Katie stayed together.
Alexa and Dylan are friends.
I feel like I didn't see any of that.
I know it all happened, but it feels like it never happened.
Ah, who cares? We're juniors now.
Oh, found our lockers.
[ALEXA.]
Mm-hmm.
[CLEARS THROAT AND SIGHS.]
- Switch.
- Switch.
Wow, look at all the stuff juniors do.
Pep rally Thursday, football game Friday.
PSAT's October.
Sign up before it's too late.
Meet with your guidance counselor.
[FAKE LAUGHS.]
"Grades matter.
" Wow, junior hall is intense.
Did we know about all this? No one did.
- I did.
- I did.
That's why I joined Peggy's study group.
You know that senior that always talks about how she got the perfect SAT score.
Well, she's paying it forward by tutoring juniors.
And so that more people know she got the perfect score.
There's my crew! She can't mean us.
She can and she does! [LAUGHS.]
Just because you're my ex-BFFLs doesn't mean we can't be friends.
It could.
You're funny.
Seriously, we're not little kids holding grudges anymore.
Ah, we could be.
We're mature juniors now.
Get out of here, freshman! I love being mature.
[CHUCKLES.]
[DR.
CORTS.]
Hold on.
Are you friends with Gwenny now? That's a whole another session.
Bye, besties.
I didn't know getting into college would start so early or be so much.
You know, we've got so much going on.
Maybe we shouldn't go off-campus for lunch.
We've been waiting two years to eat off-campus.
This is a major dining milestone.
Yeah, where should we go? - Hmm, burgers.
- Tacos.
- Tacos.
- Burgers.
Okay, so it sounds like you started falling out of sync before lunch.
Yes.
No.
Maybe.
Hmm.
[SCOFFS.]
She's writing.
[FAKE LAUGHS.]
What is she writing? Is it about me? Probably, because she never writes when it's just me.
She's kidding.
I've got pages and pages on Alexa.
I think we're getting closer.
So what happened next? [KATIE.]
We were still trying to enjoy the good parts about being juniors.
That's right.
We sure did go off-campus for lunch today.
Because that is what you do when you are a junior.
[GWENNY CLEARS HER THROAT.]
Is this still happening? We women need to stick together, build each other up, not tear each other down.
Which is why I say, Hannah, never wear that sweater again.
Makes you look like a poor ghost.
That's what I was going for.
She's not wrong.
Hey, what happened to you guys? We just met with the guidance counselor.
We are so not prepared.
She to told us to collect materials for our portfolios so we can track our accomplishments.
I don't have materials.
I don't have accomplishments.
And college is so expensive.
I hope I can get a scholarship.
[SHORTIE.]
Oh I forgot my wallet in her office.
- Just leave it.
- You're right, I don't need lunch today.
[SIGHS.]
I knew we shouldn't have gone off-campus for lunch.
I could've met my guidance counselor.
[SIGHS.]
I need a scholarship.
I need to accomplish accomplishments.
[SUCKS AIR THROUGH TEETH.]
- Right, Alexa? - What? Oh.
[ALEXA CHUCKLES.]
She got it all wrong.
This is what really happened.
[TAPE REWIND SOUND EFFECTS.]
I am so unprepared.
You can write your personal essay about having cancer in high school.
I'm not gonna write about that.
- Why not? - That's a slam dunk.
I thought mine was a slam dunk.
Having two moms isn't a big deal anymore.
Thanks a lot, progress.
Writing my essay on having cancer is the last thing I would do.
Right, Katie? What? [GASPS.]
[KATIE.]
I did not spill that smoothie.
That's really interesting.
Oh, yeah, that's what started the fight.
It was the smoothie.
That's not what started the fight.
What happened next.
Alexa talked to her dad into taking us driving, so What caused the fight was her driving like a freaking maniac.
I was not driving like a freaking maniac.
You were driving like a freaking maniac! My Fitbit told me I was having a heart attack.
Katie was fine.
Tell him, Katie.
Well, I was fine when we were in "park.
" [SIGHS.]
I'm I'm gonna go home and worry about college.
Bye.
I am a pilot.
Navigation is in your blood.
You just need to stay focused.
What do you think I should write my college essay on? Okay, another unexpected turn without a blinker.
I was thinking I could write about me being on the basketball team.
Sure.
And how you, uh, went right back out there after the year you were sick.
No, just the basketball part.
Oh! This fills my heart.
Ahh, you got the, uh, anniversary poem I texted.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, yeah.
[CHUCKLES.]
And Lucas posted pictures of his dorm.
Ah, our boy, I'm so proud of him.
Yeah, I'm proud of him, too.
And I am proud of myself because I'm making my bride one of her favorite things tonight.
Ooh, soufflé? That's right.
You know, they should really invent swerve-proof cartons.
- Okay, I'm going back to the store.
- Ooh, I'll drive.
Sure, just, uh, grab my wallet from the table.
There's no wallet.
[DAVE.]
Love you! [PHONE CHIMES.]
Oh, it's an email from the girl who runs the SAT study group.
Peggy is amazing.
And she says the class is full and I should have applied sooner.
Peggy is a troll.
How am I gonna get a scholarship? Oh, honey, you're gonna figure it out.
Even if I'm paying student loans into my eighties.
Am I going to college? Nineties.
Oh, wow.
I don't remember buying such a nice bottle of wine.
[SIGHS.]
Despite a late start, dinner has turned out perfectly.
- Aww.
- Now I just need to grab the wine.
Wine? The fancy wine I left here yesterday so Lori wouldn't see it.
I left a sticky note on it that said, "Leaving this here so Lori doesn't see it.
" Oh, that's what that means.
[DAVE SIGHS.]
She's gonna love it.
- What ? - Mm.
Oh, sorry, okay.
Yeah, yeah.
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
[DAVE.]
Come on.
What?! Come on! Jen! [LORI CLEARS HER THROAT SOFTLY.]
- Hey, Mom.
- Oh, thanks! It's not new, I just haven't worn it in a while.
[CHUCKLES.]
What do you like best for my college essay? Our summer in Orlando, uh, my fourth time kayaking, or the time we went to the zoo and the giraffe smiled at me? [SIGHS.]
Honey, you had a pretty profound experience - when you were diagnosed - Love the giraffe.
That's what I was thinking, too.
I was gonna say "your experience with cancer.
" I'm gonna go to Katie's.
I know it's not new, but it looks new.
Ah, I know it's rented, but it looks like you own it.
Yeah.
[CHUCKLES.]
Aww.
[SUCKS TEETH, THEN SIGHS.]
Oh, honey, everything looks and smells wonderful.
- Thank you.
- Aww.
[BOTH SIGHING.]
Twenty years.
Two perfect children.
You said that without crying.
I'm dehydrated.
[DAVE CHUCKLES.]
And I'm trying to focus on our anniversary.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Oh, that's really good.
Yeah.
Okay.
Mm.
Mm.
It's a picture of a gazebo.
It's a picture of a gazebo I'm gonna build you in the backyard.
But, this looks like the one where you proposed to me.
Well, technically, where you proposed.
Well, you were so nervous, and there was that family with the picnic that was waiting for us to leave.
I had to step in.
The brunch, I mean, the tux, the wine, all of this, it's it's like you recreated everything from that day.
This is so perfect.
[LUCAS.]
I got kicked out of my dorm! - What? - How? I set my dorm on fire with my flat iron, which was no big deal because you know, I turned my air mattress into a waterbed.
So I popped it to put out the fire, which was great, until water went everywhere and soaked my new amp and sparked a new fire.
Long story short, I live here now, and Mom, I'm gonna need to borrow your flat iron.
Could you help me with my bags? Well, that was fast.
At least you won't miss him anymore.
I miss missing him.
[KARATE GRUNTING.]
I call it dish-kwando.
I never thought I'd say this but I miss your tap dancing.
She should know I would never write my college essay about that.
These college prep courses are so expensive.
Katie, are you even hearing me? Are you even hearing me? You know what? [SIGHS.]
We need a distraction.
We do.
Wanna practice practice-driving? Well, why not? We need a wheel.
This is round.
So, where to? Mm, the mall? Perfect.
I need new socks.
Hm.
Tha Wait! Gotta put your seatbelt on, jeez.
[CHUCKLES.]
Okay.
[GRUNTS.]
Okay.
Okay.
How do we get to the mall? Do you wanna put the couch in park before you ask me that question? [FAKE LAUGHS.]
How do we get to the mall? Been there a million times.
Okay, that tone is really not helping my confidence.
Okay.
Wired's only three blocks away.
Just drive to Wired.
Fine.
Nope.
Where are you going? We always cut through the Bink's yard.
Not when you're driving.
Okay.
What are you doing? Turning right.
Right into a mailbox.
I only grazed it.
Ch Okay.
You know what? Just Just take me home.
Okay, fine.
[GRUNTS.]
Don't Oh! There you go again.
Okay, you always forget to use your blinker.
[SCOFFS.]
And now you've just killed us.
Wow.
- [PUFFS.]
Just forget it! - Okay! Ow! [GRUNTS.]
Happily! [DOOR SLAMS.]
Ohhh! What's your problem? What's my problem? What's your [GASPS.]
problem? You know, I'm glad you asked, because I don't have a problem.
[GROWLS.]
What's that supposed to mean? It means I don't have a problem.
I know when to use my blinker.
I know how to get to places without driving through the Bink's yard, so don't almost-drive my couch into oncoming traffic and think that I am the one with the problem.
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
Well Well [GASPS.]
I had cancer.
Ha! You [GUTTURAL LAUGH.]
Hey, no fair.
'Cause I can't say anything after you say that.
I know.
[HUFFS.]
It's good to have a guy around again.
- Let's have some steak.
- Oh, yeah.
I don't care what you say, Lori.
This anniversary went just as planned.
- You got any more of that? - Oh, man.
That's fantastic.
I think we now know what caused the fight.
- Yeah.
She slammed her car door - Yeah.
She turned the fruit bowl - and slammed my door - before she knew she had a clear lane.
- and asked what my problem was.
- My fault for telling her how to drive.
We only have three minutes left, so I'm just gonna tell you.
The fight was about nothing.
- Nothing? - What? Well, nothing either of you two did.
It sounds like the first day of school was more stressful than you expected.
- Well, yeah, a little bit.
- Yeah, a little bit.
You two have been through so much, and now this year comes along with a lot of added pressure.
It sounds like you're experiencing some anxiety.
Yeah, I guess so.
It is kind of stressful, but I I wouldn't call it anxiety.
That toy you haven't put down since you got here, [WHISPERS.]
that's for anxiety.
Alexa, why does it bother you when someone says that you can write your essay about having cancer? It doesn't.
Then why not just write your essay about having cancer? Because there's so many more things to me then just cancer.
Is that why it bothers you? I hate it when she does this.
Hey is that why it bothers you? Every day cancer is more and more behind me.
But it's still what everybody thinks about.
Is that all I am? No.
No, how could it be? You are so much more than that.
And who knows you better than your best friend? No one.
And Katie I know this college stuff is stressful, but what makes it stressful for you? I guess everything that has to be done.
And what would happen if you didn't get it all done? I wouldn't get into college.
And what would that mean? Not being with Alexa.
What? Of course, you're going with me.
We're sharing a dorm.
Yeah, but I mean even if I get in it, I don't even know if I can afford it.
We'll figure it out.
We'll find a scholarship.
'Cause I'm not going to college without you.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- You two are lucky.
You have each other to get through the stressful times.
The key is to not take the stress out [WHISPERS.]
on each other.
- Who? Us? [CHUCKLES.]
- Never.
- We don't do that.
- Never.
Thank you, Dr.
Corts.
Okay.
And keep an eye on that anxiety.
There are ways to manage it.
I'm good.
[CHUCKLES.]
Katie, you can keep that if you'd like.
No.
Here is a list of scholarships that you might qualify for.
Wow.
Thank you.
And I made a list of ideas for what your college essay could be about.
Cool.
I'll just say it: we're adorable! Sorry again about yesterday.
[SIGHS.]
Me, too.
We just can't seem to get this whole "first day of school" thing right.
We'll get it right senior year.
Oh, senior year's going to be amazing.
This year's gonna be tough.
We'll get through it together.
Especially now that we're back in sync.
Yeah, we are.
Know what I'm thinking? - Road trip! [CHUCKLES.]
- Road trip! [CHUCKLES.]
Da Why Why don't I drive this time? [SIGHS.]
[ALEXA IMITATES SEAT-BELT SOUND, SIGHS.]
Yeah.
Where to? Paris? Oh.
Can we drive there? Yeah, why not? Step on the gas, Grandma.
God, this thing really handles.
- Ahh! [CHUCKLE, IMITATE CAR SOUNDS.]
- Ahh! [CHUCKLE, IMITATE CAR SOUNDS.]