Andi Mack (2017) s03e01 Episode Script

1 Previously on Andi Mack I made something for you.
Walker I can't accept them.
I have a boyfriend.
Whoever he is, he's a lucky guy.
Andi, I'm going to camp.
For eight weeks.
- I'm sorry.
- He'll be back before you know it.
You could say the same thing about you and pops.
ANDI: We have the ring! We're proposing tonight.
- We need a plan.
- ANDI: How about a cake? BEX: Where do we put the ring? ANDI: Inside the cake! I've got a little surprise.
The Renaissance Boys! Your boys need you.
We got our first international tour.
For real?! Would you do us the honor of becoming our rhythm guitarist? - What? - Let me help you with that! Here what is this? Somebody tell me something.
Um Um BOWIE: Um? (SIGHS) This is the best day of my life.
Mine, too.
Oh, I'm gonna cry.
No, you're not.
(SIGHS) This is it.
(EERIE MUSIC) Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! (ECHOING) No! I'm standin' on the edge And everything I know-oh-oh is blown away Life is upside down But any way it goes I'll work it out Oh oh oh oh oh Here we go - One, two, three - I'm ready for tomorrow Tomorrow starts today There ain't a map to follow But I'm with you all the way I'm ready for tomorrow - Tomorrow starts today - Hey There ain't a map to follow - But I'm with you all the way - Hey All the way That's so creepy! I know! And it was a beautiful wedding.
The dresses! My dream-brain is an amazing stylist.
You'll have time to think about that.
Bowie's still on tour for a while, right? Four more months.
But Jonah gets back from Ultimate camp today.
You heard from him? He sent me this text the night before he left, with the date, and "See you then! Put it in your calendar!" Which I did, with an alert I used that Drake song.
The one where he's in the box? Yeah.
I didn't miss him as much as I thought I would.
Or at all.
Oh, look who's all "me, myself and I.
" It's nice.
Not having to decide who I am or what I should call myself.
You mean, "boyfriend, girlfriend.
" The only time those words ever really mattered to me was when I thought I couldn't have them.
It sounds like you've moved on.
I think I have.
It's one thing to say it to you now, but when it's D-Day - D-Day? - Dimples.
Oh, there's Cyrus.
- He's wearing an ascot.
- Yeah.
(IN A BAD BRITISH ACCENT) 'Ello, poppets! (UNDER HER BREATH) Oh, dear.
Well, I guess we don't have to ask how you enjoyed your visit to London.
(SAME BAD BRITISH ACCENT) It was ah-mazin'! I may'av become a bit of an Anglophile.
- Thoughts? - Ignore, and hope it goes away? That's asking a lot.
Okay.
- Ready to shop? - Always! Tickety-boo! Okay Ready? I just want to sit here all day and look at myself.
Is this your Before? I wouldn't know it's the same person! Sh! I'm so sorry.
We're still learning manners.
Look! This is incredible! We should make this her top "Before and After.
" You're going to put my photos up there?! Oh, no, not if you don't want us to.
But, you'd be an inspiration to so many people.
Umm no.
She should be more grateful! You gave her a new life! Well, Mom, it's my job.
It's what I do.
- I want one.
- You want one, what? A new life.
- You don't need a new life.
- Yes, I do! This is the past! This is blahhh! Get rid of it! Show me the future.
(LAUGHS) What's gotten into you? Your father is out there, somewhere, living his best life.
I'm entitled to the same thing, aren't I? Yes, you are.
Do I have any more appointments today? That was your last one.
Let's do this.
We'll need a Before picture.
Have a seat.
You can be anyone at all (BAD BRITISH ACCENT) 'Scuse me, Miss, could I trouble you for a tad more salad cream? Ranch.
I wish there was a ranch we could send him to.
CYRUS: Oi, speak up, luv.
Couldn't quite catch that.
Stop talking with an English accent.
Y'know, it doesn't even feel like an accent anymore.
I think it's my true voice.
- (BUFFY LAUGHS) - (DOOR CHIMES) Oh, no.
- (DOOR CLOSES) - Look what the cat dragged in.
Is it Jonah? Ugggh.
I am not ready to have this conversation in front of everyone.
Guvnah! Breathe, breathe.
Hey.
WALKER: Hey.
Walker? Hey, Andi.
Okay if I join you? Oh.
I don't want to be rude, but now isn't really a good time.
Andi, relax.
I'm not here to see you.
Oh? He's here to see me.
Ohhh.
Are you mad? Well, I wouldn't describe myself as overjoyed.
(SCOFFS) Why didn't you tell me he was coming? I didn't know.
- He does love a surprise drop-in.
- Apparently.
Well, you seem happy.
(MUMBLING) Mm - Yeah - (BOTH LAUGH) So, I guess there's some stuff you haven't told me.
Not really.
I mean, there's been some texts and two VideoTimes.
But I told him I couldn't see him in person until you knew about it.
Well, now I know about it.
Are you feeling weird about this? No! Even a little bit? Come on, you can tell me.
I'm really not.
I mean Walker and me nothing ever really happened.
He drew that picture of me, and we went out that one time.
That's it.
We painted that mural, and he gave me sneakers.
I think that's it.
Look, this is silly.
I'm making a scene, and I barely know him.
You're happy and I'm happy for you.
We should get back to the table.
You sure? Yeah! I just needed a minute to wrap my mind around it, and done.
(BOTH LAUGH) How are we? We're good.
(BAD BRITISH ACCENT) Lovely! This isn't bugging you? That British accent? 'Cause it's driving us crazy! I'm not one to pick sides.
I'm new here, I'm just trying to fit in.
Well! This has been fun! - Andi - I'm gonna go now.
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) (DOOR CHIMES) Well, that salad cream certainly is taking its sweet time, innit? It's like it's it's like it's like BEX: Just spit it out.
I'm I'm I'm trying.
It's like it's like my mind is like aggh! Jonah or Walker! It's like, I just Stop beating yourself up about this! And me.
You're a teenager.
You won't be fully rational for at least five years.
If you don't want to help me, just say you don't want to help me.
It's scientific fact.
Your brain isn't fully formed yet.
- Look it up! - You're being so mean.
CELIA: She's being kind.
It's more like ten years.
CeCe? Why didn't you tell me she was in there? Because I thought she would be out by now! CELIA: I'm not ready! I'm still zhuzhing.
Stop! You're going to zhuzh yourself down to a little nub.
(DOORBELL RINGS) Could you get that? - Could you? - Well, I'm busy.
- It might be Jonah.
- I doubt it's Jonah.
- It feels like it is! - Why don't you want to see Jonah? - Because it's it's like - Forget I asked.
CELIA: Is someone getting the door? Yes.
(DOORBELL RINGS AGAIN) Nevermind! - I have to get this over with! - Okay.
Breathe.
(EXHALES LOUDLY) - Hey, schnoo.
- Pops?! - Pops! - (HAM CHUCKLES) Ho, ho, ho! - It's Pops! - I lost my keys.
I think I dropped them in the Ganges River.
This thing has no pockets.
- (BOTH CHUCKLE) - BEX: Dad! Hey! Oh, oh, oh! Is your mom home? I hope she's happy to see me.
(SCOFFS) Oh, she will be! CeCe! Did you hear me? Pops is home! I probably should have changed.
Oh yeah, probably.
She won't care.
Ham? Celia.
(GASP) CeCe! Bex gave me a makeover.
Do I look foolish? - Are you joking?! You look sensational.
- No, not at all.
I won't ask you the same question.
I think I know what you'd say.
I'd say, "Welcome home.
" I'm so happy to be here.
(BOTH MUMBLING) Yeah, I should shower.
Uh is my soap still here? Everything is right where you left it.
Soap, I'm comin' to get ya! (HAM LAUGHS) (GIGGLES) - He looks good.
- He looks happy.
He looks like a yeti.
Don't give me that! We were all thinking it.
Still nothing? She said she was cool with it, but maybe she's really not.
Maybe she just needs a little more time.
Exactly.
"Keep calm and carry on.
" That's what my people always say.
We're your people.
But we won't be if you keep talking that way.
Calm down, luv, you sound like the business end of a tea kettle.
Do you want him to stop? I can get him to stop.
- Don't hurt him.
- I'll be gentle.
(VERY STRONG COCKNEY ACCENT) Oi! Mate! I'm tote'ly wiv yer, yeah? - What? - You see, I'd rabbit and pork like this aw the beastly nickel and dime, but nobody'd know wot I'm on about! You're me bright boy! Right cop to know each uvver, wotcha say? (NORMAL VOICE) You're right.
This is annoying.
- (LAUGHS) - I can make myself useful.
So I see.
Did I tell you guys, next year I'm going to Spain? (WITH A SPANISH ACCENT) To run with the bulls! (SPANISH MUSIC RIFF) That sounds safe.
- BEX: No! - Please! You did it for CeCe.
Well, you're perfect exactly the way you are.
Aww.
I'm not saying it to be nice.
Well, I'm saying it to be nice.
My point is, is that there is absolutely no way to improve upon this.
So, I'm not giving you a makeover.
Ugh.
It's like living with a fairy godmother that won't bippity-bop me.
How about a red carpet look? That I can do.
Every day I find another piece Of another world I've never seen Picking up and chasing dreams That won't let go of me And I-I-I Was never meant for the faint-hearted I-I-I Wow! Yes! Fabulous! Stunning! To the camera! Andi Mack, what is your latest project? Well, it's for science class, and it's on the solar system.
Amazing! You pick that dress out yourself? - I did! - Your style is exquisite! Buffy, Cyrus, collaborators.
Did you choose them? Or did they choose you? - It was very mutual.
- I knew it! Andi Mack! One more question! (KNOCKING AT DOOR) (IN UNISON) Jonah.
How do I look? Do you realize this never happens? Nobody ever looks like that when they run into a guy from their past.
They usually look like this.
Oh, I can't wait to see his face when you open the door! - Okay.
- Okay.
Breathe, breathe.
Just answer the door.
Right.
Okay.
Dad! Bowie? (ALL LAUGH, THEN GROAN) (MUTTERING OVER EACH OTHER) Just set that down, yeah.
- Try that again? - Yeah.
(SIGHS) I missed you.
ANDI: I can't believe you're here! Did something happen? Because according to your schedule, which I have right here, you're supposed to be on stage in Tokyo in 20 minutes.
Something did happen about two months ago, when I found a ring inside a cake.
Hey, does this belong to anyone or can I call finders keepers? I guess I have to be the adult here.
Solid plan, especially because you are the adult here.
We were going to propose.
Together.
It was my idea.
The cake was also my idea.
The whole dinner was actually my idea.
Hey! Who came up with the proposing? Me.
Who found the ring? Me.
Okay, uh, when's the actual proposal? Spoiler alert my answer's yes.
We're not proposing.
Hold up.
Was that definitely decided? You're not? Plus, he already said yes! No, the Renaissance Boys already proposed.
They were ahead of us.
- I can tell them no.
- No, you cannot tell them no! You have to go on that tour! Then what happens to this? I'll hang on to it.
And then, six months from now, when you get back, we'll pick up where we left off.
Does that work for you? No.
It sounds like another messed-up marriage proposal.
I don't get it! It's such a simple concept, with a very basic procedure, and for some reason, you two just cannot make it happen! I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have said that.
We love each other, that's what matters.
That's all that matters.
Who cares if we don't get this part right? I remember that.
You left out the part where you're four months early.
Something intervened.
Let me guess.
The Universe! Close! The Universe ity of Michigan.
Micah, our drummer, got into law school! Oh, that's great!, but You just canceled the rest of the tour? Also, Rafe threw his back out and Guthrie met a girl in Australia, and plus, I never really wanted to go in the first place.
Well, that doesn't answer all my questions.
I still have a lot of questions.
Well, I just have one.
Actually, so do I.
(ANDI GASPS) (IN UNISON) Will you marry me? Yes! Oh, sorry! Sorry, uh, keep going.
(CHUCKLES) (IN UNISON) Yes! - (IN UNISON) Nailed it! - Finally! Oh! We need pictures! Where is the camera?! And bubbles! Bubbles! (KNOCKING AT DOOR) (GROANS) - Yo! - Yo! What?! - BEX: Jonah! - Hey, Bex! - Andi! - What? Someone here to see you! (DAN GAUTREAU & WOLFGANG BLACK - "FRIDAY NIGHT FOREVER") ANDI: Jonah! Hey! Hi! - My parents are getting married.
- Cool! Oh my brain, on Sunday The weekend seems so far away It's all work and no play Forever planning our escape Ooo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo - Oh, it's good to see you! - Sorry I didn't come sooner.
Oh, don't apologize, that's totally okay.
So you and me, we're? Definitely.
- Just friends.
- Still together.
Next on Andi Mack: I told Jonah that I just want to be friends.
But he still thinks we're a couple.
Either way, I should probably invite him to the Moon Festival Party.
- You've outdone yourself! - ANDI: It's beyond Chinese New Year.
Please tell me this doesn't mean what I think it means.
She invited Aunt May.
Isn't it wonderful? Mothers and daughters together.
- Bonding.
- It's so stressful! JONAH: Saying the right things, wearing the right clothes! I don't know what we're gonna do about this mess.
If I were you, I'd break up with me.
Do you want to break up with me?