Cold Feet (1997) s03e01 Episode Script

Romantic strings Remind Daddy to get some milk while you're out.
Right.
Have you had a wee-wee? Ah! Good idea.
l won't be a minute.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Hello.
There's another one coming, look.
Look! Come on, goosey.
You're not supposed to eat it.
lt's for the ducks.
Look, darling.
This is your new baby sister Ellie.
Mummy's gonna be wondering where we are, in't she? - Look.
There's two there.
Look! - Two little ducks.
PETE: Two little ducks.
Quack! Quack! - Yeah.
And here's your other baby sisterOlivia.
BOTH: Boo! Hey, stinker! There you go.
Thanks.
Do l owe you anything for this? See you, tiger.
You be a good boy for Mummy, then.
Yeah? LlTTLE ADAM: Yeah.
- Same time next week, then? - Yeah, same time next week.
See you, Pete.
Billsbillsbills WilliamWilliam.
Nightmare.
(TV on) MAN ON TV: lt's got a real '70s feel to it, which you don't want.
- The shoes she's wearing are £35.
WOMAN: How much was that skirt again? MAN: That skirt was £35.
Very inexpensive.
- Really? lt looks an awful lot more expensive.
MAN: The high street is getting so good now, because they look at the big collections.
So, they create the looks but obviously give Arrrgh! Hello.
(Shrieks) Jesus, you made me jump! - Surprised to see us, then? - Or do you always dress like that? - You're back so early.
- The flight landed at five.
A week early.
Due back the 4th.
l even wrote it down.
- l lost that piece of paper.
- Well, maybe it's underneath all this crap.
l was going to tidy up.
You were supposed to meet us at Heathrow.
l lent you the car.
- Ah, yes.
The car.
- We had to get the coach up.
After a 1 2-hour flight.
How were the Maldives? - Not as nice as Mauritius.
- l'm going to go and get some coffee.
- l hope you haven't got skid marks on that sofa! - No, of course not! l'm sure that mark was there before.
- Do you not want milk with those? - We're out of milk.
- Oh, great.
Black coffee.
- Eryeah.
RACHEL: Where's the coffee? Mum! Hello.
lt's lovely to see you.
How was your flight? Well, you know, it was a charter.
You even had to pay for your drinks.
Still, at this time of day, who'd want a drink? We'd have paid for you to fly scheduled.
l did think David might have collected me from the airport.
Oh, he's at work.
At 7:30?! Mm.
He's had a lot of early starts.
Since the twins were born, actually.
Well, come on.
Let's go and see the little darlings.
And my grandson, of course.
ErMum.
Right.
l'll bring the bags in, then, shall l? - lt is not pubic.
- lt is.
lt's all crinkly.
God! He's been using my razor.
Come on! No-one shaves their pubes.
Well, not blokes anyway.
Well, maybe some.
But not Pete.
He's got to go, Adam.
Give him some more time.
He said he'll mend his ways.
He's tidied up.
And he's promised to wear clothes in the future.
We said he could stay a month, not six weeks.
We can't kick him out now.
No, we can't give him a lift, because he's buggered the bloody car.
l didn't like him staying in the first place.
lt felt like we were taking sides.
But Jenny stayed in their house.
And since he's been here we haven't seen her.
No.
He's got to go.
You know, you're being very unfair.
lf any of your friends needed help, l'd be there for them, no questions asked.
Look, one last chance.
OK? lf he's out of order again - if he does anything to put you out in the slightest, l will ask him to go.
- Anything? - l promise.
- (Knock on door) - Are you going to be long in there? - We'll be as long as we want! - lt's just l'm a bit desperate for the loo.
Look, l am not getting out of this bath.
OK.
You can come in now.
Oh, thanks.
Sorry about this.
Come on.
Come on.
Ermoh.
Actually, it's a number two.
l'll help him pack.
Divorce, is it? What makes you say that? Woman out of work for a few years, it's usually a divorce.
Well, it's not.
We're separated.
Same difference.
ldeally, how much would you like to earn? Well, ideally, l'd like to cover my share of the mortgageclothesfood.
Nice to have the odd luxury every now and then.
- £35,000? Have you got anything like that? - lf we did, l'd apply for 'em.
- Did you say you'd got shorthand? - Yeah.
And typing.
- And a pair of rubber gloves? - Sorry? There's a firm here needs a cleaner.
Yeah, but l wouldn't be able to use my secretarial skills, would l? You've been out the job market a while.
You'll have to start at the bottom of the career ladder.
Fine.
Here's one that might suit you.
Requires a bright person capable of working unsupervised.
Hello, me.
Oh, no, you're too old.
Cleaningcleaning.
Stuffing envelopes? Cleaning.
Ah, secretarial work.
A nice quiet office.
A funeral parlour? Yeah What's wrong with a funeral parlour? Nothing.
Nothing at all.
l mean, we all need funeral parlours, don't we? Eventually.
Yeah.
So, how's it going? Good.
A few teething troubles.
- (Sombre organ music) - Anyone mind if l close a window? Catch your death in here.
(Weeps) - My life is finished.
- Oh, come on.
lt's not that bad.
My marriage is over.
l'm kipping in my best mate's spare room.
- l'm this far away from being a bag lady.
- lt's closer than that, mate.
lt's not me.
lt's Rachel.
Big lssue? Big lssue.
(Gate closes) Oi! Psst! Psst! David! Someone's turned our drive into a bloody ashtray.
- Ah, Heather.
You've arrived, then? - Looks like it.
Hello, Joshy.
Building a tower? Jolly good.
Very good of you to offer to help with the twins.
- Jack didn't mind you coming over? - lt wouldn't be easy for Karen on her own.
l'll stay as long as l can.
Would you like a drink, David? - Er, it's a bit early.
- Oh, not in Europe.
l haven't adjusted yet.
Well, l won't, but don't let me stop you having another.
Hi, darling.
How was your day? Oh, busy.
Probably a picnic compared to yours.
- Still, it must be easier having Heather here? - Hmm.
Hey, Mum, have you sterilised those bottles yet? Oh, my God! l must be jet-lagged.
Who'd have thought it? Back to a bedsit at my age.
You could always move in with your mum.
l don't like that Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen.
There's something not right about him.
(Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen on TV) Don't forget your vegetables, Peter.
Well, OK, not your mum.
But you must have friends who'll put you up.
Yeah.
l thought l did.
David and Karen.
They've got plenty of room.
No.
No.
They've just had twins.
- Oh, no.
l wouldn't want all that crying again.
- No.
l know.
l know where there's a free bed.
To be honest, life's like 1 00% better since Pete moved out.
Not for me, it's not.
How did you cope with all hislittle ways? - Used a lot of bleach.
- Yeah.
lt's funny, we're sort of getting on really well since we separated.
We're quite matey now.
- (Mobile rings) - lt's putting that bit of distance between us.
Hello? Oh, hello.
We were just talking about you.
l beg your pardon? You might want to get some more sherry in.
No, l bought a few bottles when l knew Mum was coming.
l know.
You might want to get some more.
lt's the Costa del Sol, David.
Cocktail hour all day.
Karenshe's an alcoholic.
Don't be ridiculous.
What would you call it, then? Unhappy.
l don't think she and Dad are getting on that well.
Maybe he has to pay her bar bill.
David, she is not an alcoholic.
She's not.
How can she be? She doesn't have her first drink till lunchtime.
- She doesn't get up till 1 2.
- (Door opens) l bet that's Josh.
Or it could be Heather sneaking out her empties.
Davidcome and have a look.
Sweet.
He's come to see his sisters.
Darling, it's time for bed now.
You can play with the girls in the morning.
Josh! (Twins gurgle) Come here, poppet.
Pete, l'm not sure about this.
l should speak to Rachel or give her a call.
She seemed pretty adamant.
lt's only for a few days, just till l get myself sorted.
Besides, little Adam likes his dad at home.
But you're not home, Pete.
Have you got it? - We're just friends.
Yeah? - Yeah.
That's why it'll work.
You are looking for a place to live, aren't you? lt's not all part of some master plan? Do you think l could be that Machiavellian? l didn't even know you knew the word.
Guardian crossword.
We'll have to have some ground rules.
- All right.
Name them.
- l don't know.
l haven't thought of any.
We'll have our own flannels, that sort of thing.
Done.
Right, love.
What's for tea? Evening, all.
- Everything all right? - l think you should go upstairs, David.
Karen! What's going on? Hello, Joshy.
- What? - Look again, David.
DAVlD: Oh, my God! l was only playing.
Hey, l told you this would work out, didn't l? - What would? - Eh? What would? Me stopping here.
The first six hours have gone OK, yeah.
Well, so far so good, then.
Hey, if you're getting up, put the kettle on.
While you're at it, bung a tea bag in a mug.
And for you, l'll even add milk and one sugar.
Oooooh.
(Sighs) (ltalian accent) lt's all booked.
Venice? Ooooh! We fly out Friday evening after you finish work.
Back on Monday morning.
Oh, l don't know.
What about Adam? - lt's all right.
Pete said he'll look after him.
PETE: Jen! - What? - Where have the tea bags gone? - lt's your cupboard now.
Mine are over there.
- Eh? Go on, then.
Use these till you get yourself sorted.
Happy Christmas.
They're beautiful.
- l bet they're a handful, though.
- Yeah.
Two handfuls.
Yeah, not that David's held them much.
- Work's just gone ballistic.
- Yeah.
Right.
How's my big mate Josh enjoying having two baby sisters? (Blows raspberry) Aye.
A bit jealous, is he? We were rather hoping we might discuss that.
(Mouths) Come on.
Let's get you something to eat.
The fact is, Josh has been displaying some antisocial tendencies towards the girls.
- Murderous.
- David, that's a bit much.
Manslaughter? There was an incident involving an iron.
l think he just feels a bit pushed out.
We were wondering if maybe he could spend a couple of days with you.
Because you don't want him to feel pushed out? No, it was his idea.
He says he wants to.
And we want to indulge him.
You mean, you're serious? Yeah.
Just for a couple of days, while we get the twins settled in.
And then, when he comes back, we can give him more attention.
We thought we'd say it's a holiday.
Who for? Look, guys, you know, we'd love to help you, but Adam's right.
We would absolutely love to help you.
What?! What do we want a four-year-old for? We've just got rid of Pete.
You said you would help my friends without question.
Yeah, but David and Karen are my friends too.
Anyway, it was you Josh asked to stay with.
ls it my fault kids find me fun? - All right, Rach? - Good.
- Yeah, we'll be fine.
- Good luck.
- All set, big fella? - l want to sit in the front! Terrific.
- Do you like car washes, Josh? - l've never been in one.
- Your dad washes his own car? - They do it for him at work.
- Yeah, well.
Of course.
- l want to sit in the front! Do you want to drive? Cool! Come on, then.
- (Whispers) JENNY: Where are you two off to? We're going to the park.
Gonna go on the slide.
- lt's not your weekend to have him.
- Jen! Yeah.
Have a good time.
- Would you like to come? - l'm all right.
All right.
Come on, tiger.
That's it.
Good boy.
Shall we go in the car? Yeah.
- That's a good boy.
- Pete! Give us a sec.
That is a brilliant bit of driving, Josh.
Fantastic.
Right.
lnto the back with you.
Adam, you've not shut the sunroof.
Or my window.
(Clicks switch) Did you switch the engine off, Josh? Josh, where's my key? Where is the key? Adam, hurry up! Josh, give us the keys.
Give it to me! Give it to me, you little bollocks! BOTH: Arrrrgggghhh! RACHEL: Oh, Josh! No! Josh! Shut your eyes! RACHEL: Oh! Oh, my God! Can you not get it out, Adam? Oh, my Oh, my God! Ooh! Do you think he'll be all right? Who? Josh? Yeah, he'll be fine.
- What are we doing on Wednesday? - Erbaby-sitting? So, we're not going out, then? Good.
- No.
Why? - l need to invite some people for dinner.
David, it may have escaped your attention, darling, but l've just given birth to twins.
Well, Josh is out of the way.
Ramona's doing nothing and Heather will lend a hand.
l could make one of my sherry trifles.
Some people will be driving, you know.
What people exactly? Oh, just a few business contacts.
Business? l thought this was going to be fun.
l rather hoped you might be helping.
You mean, l wasn't going to be invited? Of course you'd be welcome, but you said yourself it wouldn't be much fun.
lt beats standing over the stove all night.
Right.
So, that's six, then.
lncluding Heather.
You'd better get some more wine in.
At least we didn't have the hot wax.
(Phone rings) Mountjoy Funeral Services.
How might we be of assistance? Hello? Hello? Hello? Line just went dead Ahh.
This isn't really working out, is it, Mrs Gifford? Look, l'm sorry, Mr Mountjoy.
l know l keep mentioning death That isn't actually what l was referring to.
Right.
l've had complaints, Mrs Gifford.
ls this about Mrs Cunningham? Sorry, but that woman was impossible.
That woman had just lost her husband.
She wanted him cremated, dressed like Elvis Presley.
The Vegas years! Come on! - This isn't about Mrs Cunningham.
- Oh.
l've had a gentleman on from the council.
He was almost in tears.
- Claimed you called him a Nazi.
- That's not true.
lt was ''fascist''.
The thing is, they've got ludicrous rules.
You know, no headstones, no landscaping, no angels with wings.
Mr Mountjoy, people want choice.
The freedom to bid farewell to their loved ones the way they see fit.
lncluding dressed like Elvis Presley.
The Vegas years or otherwise.
l really think you'd be better suited to a job that doesn't involve dealing with the public.
(Moans of pleasure) Hello.
Can l sleep with you? - What?! - Mummy and Daddy let me sometimes.
No.
No, Josh.
Go back to bed, please.
That's a good boy.
(Both laugh) ADAM: ''Mummy and Daddy let me sometimes.
'' - Sssh! Shhhhh! Please.
Rach rang.
l think they're making real progress with Josh.
He's even called two of his toys Ellie and Olivia.
Mind you, he keeps pulling their heads off.
That was Felix Bishop.
His date's not well.
- They're not coming? - She isn't.
l mean, great to tell us half an hour before they're due to arrive.
ls that the time? l must go and put some more make-up on.
More? She already looks like a cheap tart.
That is my mother you're talking about.
Yeah, l know.
l'm sorry.
Yeah.
l take back ''cheap''.
Felix and Robert are due here within the hour and the only company l can offer is your mother.
We need another girl, don't we? Where are we going to find someone suitably attractive and charming at such short notice? No, no, no, no, no, no.
Thank you very much, but l'm going out tonight.
- What? - Sorry.
How about Rachel? What? And leave Josh alone with Adam? Actually, l know someone.
- Have you eaten, love? - No.
Not yet.
Do you fancy a curry? l'm doing one for myself, but l could always do a bit more.
Yeah, all right.
Go on, then.
lt's working out quite well, this living apart together, isn't it? And it'll save you money.
Which, given your situation l start a new job tomorrow, Pete.
Oh.
Every little helps, doesn't it? Do you think l should still look for somewhere else or stay here? Petel don't know.
l don't want an answer now.
Wait till the end of the month.
Or, better still, start of next month, we could sit down, have a chat, see what the future holds.
What? Whether you should be my lodger? Whatever.
All right.
We'll see how it goes.
- Great! Great! - (Phone rings) One minute to Coronation Street.
Should we have tea in the lounge? Good idea.
Hello? Oh, hello.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That'd be great.
Give us five minutes, l'll get changed.
See you later.
All right.
Bye.
Listen, forget about that curry.
Dinner at David and Karen's.
Oh, what? Now? Oh, well.
l suppose we could always tape the Street.
Not you.
Just me.
You don't mind baby-sitting, do you? You know l said l was doing a boat? lt's a dinosaur now.
Oh, bollocks! (Laughs guiltily) Still seeing who can burp the loudest? Well, no, l was under the impression that someone didn't approve, so we're doing something educational now.
- What's Adam been teaching you, Josh? - Bollocks.
Excellent.
We'll continue this in the morning.
lt's way past your bedtime.
No.
Not yet.
(Pretends to cry) Do you know what, Josh? This is really good.
- lt is, isn't it? Yeah.
- Brilliant.
ls it yours? Yeah.
Come on, you two.
Bed.
Now.
Up we go.
God.
Women, eh? Yeah.
FELlX: Anteater walks into a pub, right? Walks up to the bar, orders a pint of bitter.
The barman pulls him a pint, puts it down in front of him.
He says, ''All right, sir?'' He says, ''Yeah.
'' He comes back later, and he says, ''ls everything all right, sir?'' The anteater said, ''Yeah, it's fine.
'' And he goes away.
He comes back a couple of minutes later.
And he says, ''Are you sure everything's all right, sir?'' And the anteater says, ''Yes, it's fine.
l wish you'd just leave me alone.
'' And the barman says, ''Oh, well, why the long face, then?'' (Giggles) - (Doorbell) - Excuse me.
Man walks into a pub.
- The same pub? - The same pub.
Hi.
Jenny! What brings you here? l thought l was invited for dinner.
Of course.
Yes, of course.
Come in.
Right.
Sorry.
Yes, come in.
Right.
Jenny, let me introduce you to everyone.
Erthis is Felix.
Felix Bishop.
The pleasure's mine.
DAVlD: And this is Heather .
.
who's Karen's mother.
And this is Robert .
.
who works with Felix.
Jenny is Jenny's a friend of ours.
Available at no notice.
David Right.
Well, if you'll excuse me, l'll just erm Felix was just telling a joke.
Jokes? Great.
You invited Jenny?! Oh, is she here already? The last time we invited her, she emptied a fire extinguisher over my boss.
David, we haven't got fire extinguishers.
This is supposed to be a dinner party, not a business function.
Well, we'll be talking business.
Briefly.
- l know another one - What do you chaps do, then? - Let me guess.
Second-hand cars? - lnternet.
Oh, bugger.
Sorry.
lt's justat least l know what a car is.
l'm the same.
l can't even turn a computer on.
- ls that your job, then, Robert? - Er, no.
lt's my company.
Right.
So, do you work for him or - Felix is what's known as an incubator.
- Yeah.
l bet he is.
What he does, right, ishe looks for people with a good idea, like me, then exploits us.
Exploits the idea.
- l raise the money to make it happen.
- Oh, is that it? Do you know how much he's worth? l dunno.
lnternet Got to be£20 million! That was last week.
Try 30.
l hate having to pander to these people.
l've had to work hard to achieveall this.
Robert just switches on his laptop and bingo! He's a multimillionaire.
There is no justice.
What's your point exactly? They're looking to appoint another firm of consultants and we're in with a shout.
We were, but with the charm offensive in the hands of your mother and Jenny, - l might as well log off now.
- David, l'm sure they'll behave.
Oh, l'm absolutely starving.
Thanks for inviting usKaren.
- lt's lovely to see you.
- Hey, that Robert's a bit of all right.
David, there are people dying of thirst in here.
And he's filthy rich.
What the hell? l might just have a crack at him.
Thank you.
NowDavid.
Here's a thing.
Did you know that ''mother-in-law'' is an anagramof ''woman Hitler''? And ''middle-aged man'' is ''reactionary old fart''.
No, it's not.
No, there's no F in ''middle-aged man''.
There's no effing wine left either, David.
Get some more will you, darling? lerl was just wondering if l'd left any aftershave behind.
All right.
So, at ten at night with your child asleep in bed, you thought you'd pop over and check? lnteresting.
ls that so unbelievable? Given your record for personal hygiene? Actually, ll just need someone to talk to.
Pete.
Hmm.
That was lovely.
Can l ask you a personal question? What's it like to be a millionaire? lt's the first question l'm asked by women.
- What's the second? - Am l gay? - Are you? - That's for you to find out.
What is it like, then? l'm only a millionaire on paper.
l didn't think you'd carry that much cash on you.
And no, l'm not gay.
And the answer to your next question is no, l'm not seeing anyone at the moment.
- l wasn't going to ask you that.
- You'd have asked David.
God, you're very confident.
l guess that is what being a millionaire's like.
Only on paper.
What's wrong with you? Why haven't you got a girlfriend? l ain't got much time for women.
l mean l haven't got much time, you know, what with the business.
- Married to your work.
- But one day l'm hoping to get a divorce.
The thing with most management consultants, Felix, is when they know they've got your business, they don't try as hard.
They put in a junior team.
Faces change from meeting to meeting.
Now, at DZQ, we believe that building relations is vitally important.
Speaking of relations, David, what's your mother-in-law's situation? l think Felix likes me.
Yeah.
l wonder whether Dad would like him.
l've left your father, Karen.
Sorry, l hope you didn't mind me bringing little Adam along.
- No.
No.
Josh is usually up around this time.
- Yeah.
He wets his bed.
Playing with little Adam might take his mind off it.
So? Sol thinkme and Jenny might be getting back together again.
Karen mentioned something about your husband.
Been asking questions? No No.
His name's Pete.
And, at the moment, he's at home with our little boy.
Right.
l see.
You probably don't.
We're separated.
Not very effectively.
We live under the same roof, but Separate beds? That's a very personal question.
And l'm very sorry.
Separate bedrooms, actually.
Would you like some more coffee, you two? l think we'd better.
Do you think l'm mad? Maybe l'm misreading the signals, but since l moved back in, we've been getting on well.
ls that how Jenny sees it, that you've moved back in? She calls me the lodger.
But that's just a running gag.
Well, where is she tonight? Dinner at David and Karen's.
- We weren't invited.
- Oh, no.
lt's a last-minute thing.
They needed a single woman to make up numbers.
But is Jenny a single woman? Ermaybe not for much longer.
We said we'd sort out our living arrangements at the beginning of next month.
l'm quietly confident that l won't be sending out any change of address cards.
- So where did you park the Porsche, then? - Over there.
Blimey! l was only joking.
Right.
Jennycan l see you again? Ha! lt's my designated driver.
Ready to hit the road? l should go.
See you.
Jenny Was it something you said? Whoops! Mum Not now, Karen.
Thanks for listening, fellas.
lt's nice to hear someone else's take on things.
Don't jump to conclusions too quickly, Pete.
Oh, come on, Rach.
Adam's right.
l think we know Jen a bit better than you.
- What's this? - lt looks like dog hair.
We haven't got a dog.
(Electric razor buzzes) Josh! Oh, my God! Well, l must say, that went better than expected.
Robert and Jenny hit it off.
And Felix seemed very taken with your mother.
She's left my dad.
- What?! - Apparently.
She hasn't said why yet.
Darling, that's terrible.
So, she'd be free to see Felix again.
- David! My mother has left my father.
- That's my point.
So how do you think that makes me feel? What about my dad? Yeah.
l'm sorry, darling.
That was very thoughtless of me.
Poor Jack.
David, you don't even like him.
No, But l wouldn't wish a failed marriage on him.
- Not even if it's good for business? - No.
No, of course not.
We can't take him home looking like this.
Maybe if we brushed his hair across What? Like Jackie Charlton? Bobby, actually.
All right.
We could cut a bit off the other side.
What would be the point of that? At least it would look symmetrical! People might think it's a fashion.
God! You know, it's got to look better than this.
Oh, my! Funnily enough, it doesn't.
Give them here.
lt's not bad.
Just the one error.
Oh, sorry.
l did l did check it.
Looks all right to me.
No.
See? You got this bit wrong.
- Oh, no, actually.
You did.
- l'm sorry? Well, ''to kindly wait'' is a split infinitive.
lt should be '''l would ask you kindly to wait.
'' That suggests l'm asking him kindly, whereas in fact the opposite's true.
- lt suggests you would ask him to kindly wait.
- Precisely.
- Pardon? - To kindly wait.
Change it, please.
Right.
lt's just it's grammatically incorrect.
- Change it! - (Phone rings) Geraldine Hughes.
ls your name Jenny? Yeah.
Erhello? - You never answered my question.
- What? About seeing you again.
Who's this? RobertBrown.
We met at Karen and David's last night.
Oh, right.
Hello, Bob.
com! Ermhang on a sec.
Sorry, it's personal.
How did you find me? l rang your temp agency.
Very reluctant to give out your number.
l used all my charm.
What? And that was enough? l had to pretend l wanted to employ you.
Well, thank you very much, but l have a job.
Ermexcuse me for butting in.
But that's where you're wrong.
Hang on a sec.
l'll just be a minute.
Good.
All the sooner you can change this letter, get your coat and go! Hello.
Are you free for lunch? Erm As it happens, l think l might be.
l had no idea you and Dad were unhappy.
We haven't been getting on for some time.
The drinking's been a problem.
Well, l had noticed.
No, not me! Him.
Dad's drinking? - Why don't l know about any of this? - l'm telling you now.
You've your own life.
Do you want us on the phone every few days, complaining about each other? We've had a good run.
35 years.
And maybe half of them were happy.
Don't talk like it's over.
Do you mind if l stay with you and David just for a while? Just till l've thought things through? Mum, you're welcome to stay as long as you like.
Just promise me you'll try and sort things out with Dad.
Oh, look at those shoes! Do you think they're the sort of thing Felix might like? Mum and Dad'll be excited to see you.
They're gonna love us! Joshy! - Hello, Ramona.
Are David and Karen in? - Yeah.
That'sa pity.
Heather, you're looking good.
Something special? Dinner with Felix Bishop.
Really? Excellent! l meanerm Ahhh! Look who's here.
KAREN: Hello, darling.
- Hello, Joshy.
- Big lad.
- What a lovely new hat.
Yeah.
There's a reason for that, Karen.
Ooooh! (Shrieks) So, how did they react? Pretty well, really.
All things considered.
Apart from Ramona.
Latin blood.
Mad.
- Olive oil? - Oh, yeah.
Extra virgin olive oil.
Yeah.
That's the one.
Jenny was cool as well.
l thought she'd go mad when the ink wouldn't come out.
Yeah, l bet you did.
Does that papaya feel ripe to you? No.
NoYeah.
She just smiled and said, ''There's more important things in life.
'' You could take that as an encouraging sign.
Oh, l do.
l do.
Now, smoked salmon.
Norwegian wild or Scottish farmed? What are we doing here? Tomorrow is a very significant day.
May 7th? Quince jelly Joshy, your little sisters have a surprise for you.
Do you want to see what it is now? Go on! Wow! RAMONA: Wow! lt's a present from the girls.
Great! That was Karen.
Apparently, Josh thinks his sisters are wonderful.
- You mean David's bought him off? - Yeah, it sounds like it.
They're storing up trouble.
Spoiling him now.
Mm.
Rod for their own backs.
l think we handled the wee lad quite well.
We did, didn't we? Firm but fair.
That's the secret, you know.
Establish your boundaries and stick to them.
- Except when you gave him all that chocolate.
- That was different.
l don't know how.
But it was.
lt was hell having him here though, wasn't it? lt was a nightmare.
Just imagine that 24 hours a day.
Drive you mad.
lt is quiet without him, isn't it? Hmm.
l think l miss him.
Do you? Well, noyou know, l mean l miss him too.
What? - What? - You were going to say something.
Ohyeah.
Oh, no, forget it.
Well, it's just that Nonono.
lt's a crazy idea.
- Us? - Yeah.
Do you want to? - Do you? - lt's a hell of a decision to take.
Unless you don't take it.
You knowjust leave things to chance.
And you wouldn't mind? No.
l'm glad you said that, because you know our special friend that comes to stay now and again? - Pete? - No, my period.
lt's late.
How late? A week or so.
Oh, my God! Yeah.
Well May 7th.
Oops! Da-da! Happy anniversary, Jen.
Ha-ha! Oh, God! Look.
l kinda thought that we wouldn't be celebrating this any more.
Well, why not? We're still together.
After a fashion.
Well, yeah.
But Oh, come on, love.
Sit down.
Your salmon and scrambled egg's getting cold.
We've got loads to discuss.
Look, Pete, l'd (Doorbell) Hang on a sec.
Look, Pete, this is too much.
lt really is.
l didn't send those.
(Mobile rings) Hello? Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
l've just got 'em.
Yeah, listen, l can't really talk, to be honest.
Yeah.
Oh, they're lovely.
Let me give you a ring.
l'll give you a ring in about half an hour.