Doug (1991) s03e01 Episode Script
Doug's Fat Cat/Doug and Patti P.I.
[ yelps]
[ barks]
[ electric guitar playing]
[ man singing scat]
[ barks]
COOL! WHOA!
[ thwack]
[ barks]
Doug:
YOU KNOW, I NEVER THOUGH
A LITTLE CAT COULD
GIVE ME SO MUCH GRIEF.
IT ALL STARTED LAST WEEK.
JUDY AND I WERE
PLAYING BARNYARD CHESS.
HA-HA!
[ doorbell rings]
Doug:
OH, I'LL GET IT.
HOW CAN I PLAY WITH
THESE DISTRACTIONS?
HIYA, FUNNIE,
WHAT'S JIGGLING?
ROGER?
WHY ARE YOU HERE?
I MEAN, COME IN.
NO WAY, FUNNIE,
I GOT TO MOTOR.
ME AND MY MOM
ARE GOING
TO THE TRUCK SHOW
IN BLOATSBURG.
HOWDY, DOUG.
OH, HI, MRS. KLOTZ.
WOW, SOUNDS GREAT.
SO, WHY ARE YOU HERE?
CAN'T A GUY STOP AND
SAY HELLO TO HIS BUDDY?
UH, SURE,
ROGER BUDDY.
DID I SAY WE'RE
STAYING IN A HOTEL?
WELL, HAVE A GOOD TIME.
THEY DON'T ALLOW PETS.
THAT'S TOO BAD.
WHAT'S A GUY TO DO?
LEAVE HIS PE
IN THE RAIN?
I DON'T KNOW.
A PET'S GOT TO BE SAFE, RIGHT?
YEAH.
WITH SOMEBODY TRUSTWORTHY.
YEAH
YEAH, GLAD WE
AGREE, FUNNIE.
THAT'S WHY I'M LETTING YOU
TAKE CARE OF STINKY.
STINKY?
HELLO, EMERGENCY?
I'M CALLING TO REPORT A CAT.
NO, I DON'T WANT A CAT RESCUED,
I WANT HIM ARRESTED.
HEY!
OW!
HOW SOON CAN
THE POLICE GET HERE?
NEVER MIND.
[ footsteps]
[ hinge creaks]
[ barks]
THAT'S ME.
HEY!
[ barks]
[ yelps]
COME ON, FUNNIE,
BE A PAL.
I DON'T KNOW
IF I SHOULD.
COME ON, JUS
LOOK AT THAT FACE.
HOW COULD YOU
SAY NO TO A
FACE LIKE THAT?
SO WHA
DO YOU SAY?
GEE, I DON'
KNOW, ROGER.
MY PARENTS
ARE AWAY
AND JUDY DOESN'
LIKE CATS.
WHAT A MAGNIFICEN
CREATURE!
SUCH RAW FELINE POWER,
SUCH ANIMAL GRACE
AND SUCH A CUTE WITTLE TUMMY.
EXACTLY, SO YOU'LL DO IT?
UH-UH, UH-UH.
WELL, I'M NOT SURE.
I MEAN
FORGET IT,
IT'S NO BIGGIE.
I'LL JUS
STAY HOME
AND MISS THE MONSTER TRUCK SHOW
I'VE BEEN LOOKING
FORWARD TO ALL YEAR.
[ sobbing]
DOUG, WHAT'S THA
NOISE HE'S MAKING?
OKAY, ROGER, IF I
MEANS THAT MUCH TO YOU.
FUNNIE, YOU'RE
A REAL PAL.
LITTLE DID I KNOW
WHAT I WAS GETTING INTO.
IT'LL BE A CINCH,
ALL YOU NEED IS A FEW THINGS.
HERE.
OH, AND ONE
MORE THING.
I PUT STINKY ON A DIET.
SKINNY KITTY CAT FOOD.
HOW COME?
HE'S GETTING
FAT AND HE'S
BEEN SICK.
YOU SHOULD SEE
HOW MUCH PUKE
THAT GUY CAN BLOW.
OKAY, OKAY.
JUST KEEP HIM
ON HIS DIET.
GOT IT?
YEAH, I GOT IT.
WELL, HAVE A GOOD TRIP.
HEY, FUNNIE?
YEAH.
I'M COUNTING ON YOU.
WOW, ROGER REALLY CARES
ABOUT THAT CAT.
WELL, STINKY, I GUESS
WE'RE GOING TO BE WHOA!
TAKING CARE OF STINKY WAS GOING
TO BE A REAL BARREL OF LAUGHS.
"EACH NIGHT, CHECK STINKY FOR
TICKS, CLEAN OUT CRUSTY EYE GUNK
"PUT EAR DROPS IN EARS
AND DON'T FORGET TO FLOSS."
WELL, TIME TO HI
THE STINKARIUM.
STINKY!
HUH?
[ caterwauling
"Old Mill Stream"]
CUT THAT OUT!
[ cats screeching]
PEW!
STINKY, DINNER.
WHY CAN'T YOU JUST EA
PIZZA LIKE A NORMAL PET?
OH, NO, WHY
DID I SAY THAT?
STINKY, YOU
CAN'T HAVE PIZZA.
YOU'RE ON A DIET.
NO, UH-UH, FORGET IT!
[ neighbors yelling]
Doug:
IT'S GOOD, SEE?
MMM, YES.
MMM, OH, MY YES, GOOD, TASTY.
SEE, IT'S NOT SO
EXCUSE ME.
[ toilet flushing]
MMM-MMM!
ONE SCOOP
PICKLE RIPPLE
ONE SCOOP ANCHOVY MADNESS
AND A CHERRY.
SATISFIED?
I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE
GIVEN IN TO STINKY.
MAYBE ALL THAT JUNK FOOD
MADE HIM SICK.
STINKY?
HE'S ON THE LOOSE.
STINKY?
OH, STINKY!
IT'S TIME FOR YOUR BREAKFAST!
STINKY.
YOU CAN'T HIDE FOREVER, STINKY.
I KNOW YOU'RE UP HERE.
STINKY?
YOU IN HERE?
OH, HONESTLY,
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU WORRY
ABOUT THAT CAT.
DON'T YOU KNOW
CATS ARE
INDEPENDENT?
THAT'S WHY THEY'RE BETTER
THAN DOGS.
YOU CAN'T LET HIM
OUT OF YOUR SIGH
FOR A SECOND.
DID YOU KNOW
THE ANCIENT EGYPTIANS
WORSHIPPED CATS?
THEY BELIEVED
THE SOUL OF
[ screaming]
[ moaning]
WILL YOU
LOOK AT THIS?
THERE IS FUCHSIA FUR
ALL OVER MY VICTORIAN
DINNER GOWN!
MY FLAPPER HAT IS
FULL OF HAIRBALLS!
I WANT THA
FILTHY BEAST OUT!!
STINKY WAS SICK
AND IT WAS ALL MY FAULT.
HOW COULD I BREAK IT TO ROGER?
ROGER, YEAH, STINKY ISN'
QUITE AS HEALTHY AS USUAL.
I DIDN'T FOLLOW HIS
DIET TO THE LETTER.
OH, GOOD, I'M GLAD
YOU UNDERSTAND.
NO, ROGER, NO
Roger:
I TRUSTED YOU, FUNNIE.
I TRUSTED YOU!
HELP!
Skeeter:
I HAD A BEACH
BALL LIKE THAT.
MADE THE
SAME NOISE.
THINK HE'S
GOING TO BLOW?
IT'S ROGER!
WHAT'LL I TELL HIM?
HEWWO?
OH, HI, ROGER.
OH, YEAH, STINKY'S GREAT.
OH, NO, YOU CAN'T TALK TO HIM.
WHY NOT?
HE'S WANTS
TO TALK TO STINKY.
MEA
[ clears throat]
MEOW!
Meow, meow.
FORGET IT, VALENTINE.
PUT STINKY ON, PRONTO.
HE'S NOT BUYING IT.
LISTEN, ROGER,
STINKY'S SICK.
What do
you mean sick?
Start explaining.
WE'RE TAKING HIM TO THE VET.
I
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?
Stinky:
[ meowing]
LET'S GET MOVING, MAN.
I CAN'T TAKE IT!
THIS IS DRIVING ME CRAZY.
I'M GOING TO STAR
ASKING SOME QUESTIONS.
Woman:
IF HE'D BROUGH
THE CAT IN TOMORROW
IT WOULD HAVE
BEEN TOO LATE.
Man:
EVEN SOONER.
IT COULD ALL BE OVER
ANY MINUTE NOW.
WHAT'D THEY SAY?
THEY SAID IT WAS
ALL OVER, SKEETER.
STINKY'S DYING.
WHAT, FROM ICE CREAM?
I WAS SUPPOSED
TO TAKE CARE OF HIM.
AND INSTEAD,
I'VE KILLED HIM.
WHAT'LL I TELL ROGER?
Roger:
WHERE IS HE?
WHERE'S STINKY?
ROGER, I TRIED
TO TELL YOU.
WHAT HAPPENED, FUNNIE?
WHERE'S MY CAT?
ROGER, IT'S ALL MY FAULT.
I FED STINKY PIZZA
AND ICE CREAM.
YOU DID WHAT?
I THOUGHT IT WAS OKAY.
YOU DID WHAT?!
I TRIED TO TALK HIM OUT OF IT.
YOU DID WHAT?!!
NOW, IT LOOKS LIKE
HE'S, HE'S GOING TO
BE A VERY PROUD MOTHER.
HUH?
HUH!
STINKY
IS A GIRL?
ROGER, WHY DIDN'
YOU TELL ME?
WELL, HOW WAS
I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?
SON, WE'RE WAY PAST DUE
FOR A VERY IMPORTANT TALK.
Vet:
PREGNANT ANIMALS ALWAYS
GET HUNGRY FOR STRANGE FOODS.
WHEN YOU FED STINKY PIZZA
YOU WERE DOING
WHAT NATURE ORDERED.
YOU DIDN'T HAVE
TO TELL ROGER
ANYTHING.
NO, I'M GLAD
I TOLD ROGER.
I'D WANT HIM
TO TELL ME
IF THERE WAS SOMETHING
WRONG WITH PORKCHOP.
THERE IS SOMETHING
WRONG WITH PORKCHOP.
BLUFFINGTON, BUMPER STICKER
CAPITAL OF THE WORLD.
FAMILIES CELEBRATE THE BLUFFCO
FAMILY BUMPER STICKER PICNIK.
AS THE BARBECUE WINDS DOWN
EVERYONE GEARS UP
FOR THE BIG WHEELBARROW RACE.
EVERYONE EXCEPT ME.
I'M WRAPPING UP ANOTHER CASE.
"'HE'S GETTING AWAY,'
GINNY WHIZ EXCLAIMED.
"'THAT'S OKAY,' REPLIED JIMMY.
"'I FIGURED OU
WHO KIDNAPPED FATHER.'
TURN TO PAGE 103 FOR SOLUTION."
Patti:
YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO FIGURE OU
THE SOLUTION
FOR YOURSELF.
DON'T WORRY, IT'S EASY.
POOPSIE MALLOY.
NOPE.
MR. VAN HEUVEL?
NOPE.
BIZZY BERNARD?
"REMEMBER, AMATEUR SLEUTHS
"DON'T BE MISLEAD
BY THE MOTIVES.
ALWAYS LOOK A
THE EVIDENCE FIRST."
Skeeter:
HEY, DOUG,
HEY, PATTI.
HAVE ANY OF YOU GUYS
SEEN A WHEELBARROW
SAY, IS THA
WHIZ KIDS #49?
THAT WAS AN EASY ONE.
I KNEW IT WAS
SSH!
DOUG HASN'
FIGURED IT OUT.
I'M WORKING ON IT.
SHEESH.
HMM
PROFESSOR WHIZ
KIDNAPPED HIMSELF.
HUH?
ROGER, HE
ALMOST HAD IT.
ROG, HAVE YOU SEEN MY
WHEELBARROW ANYWHERE?
WHY WOULD I TAKE
YOUR WHEELBARROW?
I WOULDN'T ENTER THAT RACE.
PROFESSOR WHIZ KIDNAPPED HIMSELF
IN ORDER TO TES
HIS EXTRAORDINARILY
BRILLIANT CHILDREN.
Mr. Dink:
DOUGLAS, PATRICIA!
SOMETHING TERRIBLE
WHIZ KIDS #49!
THAT WAS
AN EASY ONE.
THAT PROFESSOR
WHIZ
YEAH, WHAT'S SO
TERRIBLE, MR. DINK?
WHAT?
OH, SOMEBODY SABOTAGED
THE WHEELBARROW RACE!
SABOTAGED THE WHEELBARROW RACE?
SABOTAGED
THE WHEELBARROW RACE?
I DON'T KNOW WHY
BUT SOMETHING TOLD ME
THE WHEELBARROW RACE
HAD BEEN SABOTAGED.
[ footsteps]
[ hinge creaks]
[ barks]
THAT'S ME.
HEY!
[ barks]
[ yelps]
Doug:
WITHOUT BUMPERS, THIS RACE
IS JUST BLINDFOLDED PEOPLE
PUSHING EACH OTHER
IN WHEELBARROWS.
IT WAS THE BEST RACE
I EVER INVENTED.
SIX MONTHS JUST TO
COME UP WITH THE NAME.
I HAD TO GET AN ANGLE ON
THIS BUMPER BURGLAR AND FAST.
THERE WAS ONLY ONE THING TO DO.
SHADOWY FIGURE,
I SUPPOSE YOU CAN TELL US
WHERE YOU WERE
57 MINUTES AND
41 SECONDS AGO.
I WAS AT THE ZOO.
NO, I MEAN I WAS
AT THE MOVIES.
NO, I MEAN
WHAT ARE THOSE UNDER YOUR COAT?
UH, PENCILS?
HUH!
PENCILS, INDEED!
THAT'S WHAT YOU'LL NEED
TO SIGN A CONFESSION.
DOUG WHIZ, YOU SOLVED
THE MYSTERY WITHOUT EVEN LOOKING
AT THE ANSWER
ON PAGE 103.
ONCE YOU UNDERSTAND
THE CRIMINAL MIND
Mr. Dink:
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
I WAS JUST THINKING
THAT, UM, UM
THAT WE COULD SOLVE
THE MYSTERY TOGETHER.
DOUG, WHA
A GREAT IDEA!
YOU CAN'T DO
DETECTIVE WORK
WITHOUT A MAGNIFYING
GLASS AND
YOU DROPPED
YOUR GLOVE.
THANKS, DOUGLAS.
GEIGER COUNTER
NOT TO MENTION
A CLUE.
THIS ISN'T MINE.
DOUG, YOU
FOUND A CLUE.
A CLUE?
YOU KNOW WHA
THAT MEANS.
WHAT?
I GET TO BUY ALL
THAT DETECTIVE EQUIPMENT.
LOOKS LIKE IT'S
YOU AND ME.
THE FUNNIE-MAYONNAISE DETECTIVE
AGENCY WAS OPEN FOR BUSINESS.
YOU SAY CHUBBS MCPUTTY LOS
HIS CANDY BAR COLLECTION?
SOMEONE'S UPROOTED MRS.
KAPRUDER'S PRIZED PETUNIAS?
I SAID A LARGE!
AND NO ANCHOVIES!
Computer voice:
Shadowy figure alert!
Shadowy figure alert!
Shadowy figure alert!
Quick, he's getting away.
ANY ONE OF THESE FAMILIES
COULD BE A COVER
FOR A BUMPER-SMUGGLING GANG.
ALL WE'VE
GOT TO DO
IS FIND OUT WHO
DROPPED THIS GLOVE.
THE WAY TO DO THA
IS TO FIGURE OU
WHICH FAMILY
GAINS THE MOST.
Patti:
OR WHO'S
MISSING A GLOVE.
MAYBE THE STUDEBAKERS WERE
AFRAID THEY'D LOSE THE RACE
AND THEIR ATHLETIC
REPUTATION.
SO THEY STOLE THEM TO
AVOID EMBARRASSMENT.
OR THE BLUFFS.
WHO COULD BE
MORE SUSPICIOUS
THAN A FAMILY
THAT HATES
RUNNING RACES?
Patti:
MR. VALENTINE
MR. VAL
HUH, SKEETER'S DAD?
NICE TRY, PATTI,
BUT I DON'T THINK
JOE VALENTINE.
MR. VALENTINE?
IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.
WHY WOULD SKEETER'S
DAD WANT OLD BUMPERS?
DOUG, HE'S GOT THEM.
LIKE I SAY, YOU JUST HAVE
TO FOLLOW THE EVIDENCE.
IT WAS HARD TO ARGUE
WITH MY PARTNER
BUT SOMETHING BOTHERED ME.
HEY!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
ARE YOU
GETTING READY?
Mr. Funnie:
WHERE DO YOU
WANT THESE?
DAD?
MY OWN DAD,
A COMMON BUMPER THIEF?
BUT I TELL YOU
WE'RE THAT THING WHERE
YOU DIDN'T DO IT
INNOCENT, JOE.
WE'RE INNOCENT!
INNOCENT,
I TELL YOU.
DON'T CRY,
SKEET.
HE'LL BE OU
IN FIVE, TEN TOPS.
BUT, DOUG, WHO ARE WE
GOING TO GET TO RUN
THE BUMPER STICKER
RACE WITH US?
KIDS, YOU WANT TO HELP US
WITH TONIGHT'S BONFIRE?
WELL!
I WONDERED WHERE
RUBY PUT MY GLOVE.
MRS. VALENTINE HAD THE GLOVES?
THEN SHE'S
SEE YOU LATER,
MR. VALENTINE.
A BREAK IN THE CASE!
WE NOW HAD A NEW
SUSPECT, MRS. VALENTINE.
WE FOUND HER MEETING SECRETLY
WITH MRS. KLOTZ AND MRS. DINK.
NEAR THE SCENE OF THE CRIME.
SO I TOLD HIM
"YOU CAN RUN
THE WHEELBARROW RACE.
ALL WE NEED
IS A KID."
DO YOU THINK
MRS. VALENTINE
IS THE CULPRIT?
HEY, MOM, I THINK
I'M GOING
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING, FUNNIE?
HONEY, PLEASE,
NOT AGAIN.
I'VE BEEN ON MY FEE
AT THE HAIR SALON ALL WEEK.
I CAN'T RUN
THAT RACE.
NO, MOM,
THAT'S NOT WHAT I
I'M SORRY,
ROGER.
MAYBE YOUR
FATHER
CAN RACE NEXT YEAR.
ROGER'S DAD LIVES
IN BLOATSBURG.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
ROGER, THE RACE HAS
ALREADY STARTED.
NO, IT HASN'T.
IT'S NOT STARTING
FOR ANOTHER 15 MINUTES.
THEN WHAT WAS
SQUEAKING OVER THERE
IF NOT A WHEELBARROW?
ARE YOU THINKING
WHAT I'M THINKING?
NO.
THE EVIDENCE!
SOMEONE STOLE THE
VALENTINES' WHEELBARROW
AND THEIR GLOVES.
DON'T YOU SEE?
THE SQUEAKY SOUND
IN THE BUSHES WAS
SOMEBODY STEALING THE BUMPERS!
AND LOOK,
THERE'S THE TRACK.
A SHADOWY FIGURE!A SHADOWY FIGURE!
SKEETER!
YOU STOLE
THE BUMPERS!
HUH, WHA
BUMPERS?
I'VE JUST BEEN LOOKING
FOR MY WHEELBARROW.
YOU GO
TO BELIEVE ME.
I WAS FRAMED,
I TELL YOU.
WHERE WERE YOU ONE HOUR AGO?
DON'T I NEED A LAWYER FOR THIS?
WAIT A MINUTE,
PATTI.
HE WAS WITH US
ONE HOUR AGO, REMEMBER?
HE WAS LOOKING FOR HIS
WHEELBARROW LIKE HE SAYS.
Patti:
THEN WHO COULD HAVE DONE IT?
WHY WOULD I TAKE
YOUR WHEELBARROW?
I WOULDN'T ENTER THAT RACE.
AND I JUST CAN'T RUN
THAT RACE WITH YOU.
I'M SORRY YOUR FATHER
COULDN'T COME IN
FROM BLOATSBURG
THIS TIME, ROGER.
Doug:
WHIZ KIDS #49: "THE SECRET
OF THE DISAPPEARING DAD."
I GOT IT!
I FIGURED OUT WHO DID IT.
HEY, KIDS, I'M BACK.
HEY, THE BUMPERS.
WELL, WHA
DO YOU KNOW?
DOUG FIGURED OU
WHO THE THIEF WAS.
AW, I DIDN'T EVEN GE
TO USE ALL THIS GREAT STUFF.
IT WAS VERY EXPENSIVE.
IT WAS ROGER.
OH, MAN.
IT'S ALWAYS
ROGER.
HIS FATHER DOESN'
LIVE HERE ANYMORE.
IF ROGER
COULDN'T RACE
HE DIDN'T WAN
ANYONE ELSE TO.
CONGRATULATIONS,
DOUG, WE DID IT!
PATTI WAS RIGHT, WE DID I
AND EVERYONE WAS HAPPY.
EVERYONE THAT IS, EXCEPT
THE MYSTERY WAS SOLVED.
BUT THE CASE WASN'T CLOSED YET.
SOMETHING STILL WASN'T RIGHT.
THAT'S OKAY.
LET THE OTHERS
HAVE A GOOD TIME.
WE'LL JUST WATCH.
WAIT, WHERE
ARE YOU GOING?
I CAN'T RUN
THE RACE WITHOUT YOU.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
I'M CLOSING A CASE.
MR. DINK!
[ whispering]
HUH? YEAH!
MR. DINK ASKED
ROGER TO RUN THE RACE
AND THE MYSTERY OF THE MISSING
BUMPERS CAME TO AN END.
SOLVING A MYSTERY IS MORE THAN
LOOKING AT THE HARD EVIDENCE.
YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOUR GUT.
RIGHT NOW MY GUT'S GROWLING.
PORKCHOP, LET'S GO INVESTIGATE
THE REFRIGERATOR.
[ barks]
[ electric guitar playing]
[ man singing scat]
[ barks]
COOL! WHOA!
[ thwack]
[ barks]
Doug:
YOU KNOW, I NEVER THOUGH
A LITTLE CAT COULD
GIVE ME SO MUCH GRIEF.
IT ALL STARTED LAST WEEK.
JUDY AND I WERE
PLAYING BARNYARD CHESS.
HA-HA!
[ doorbell rings]
Doug:
OH, I'LL GET IT.
HOW CAN I PLAY WITH
THESE DISTRACTIONS?
HIYA, FUNNIE,
WHAT'S JIGGLING?
ROGER?
WHY ARE YOU HERE?
I MEAN, COME IN.
NO WAY, FUNNIE,
I GOT TO MOTOR.
ME AND MY MOM
ARE GOING
TO THE TRUCK SHOW
IN BLOATSBURG.
HOWDY, DOUG.
OH, HI, MRS. KLOTZ.
WOW, SOUNDS GREAT.
SO, WHY ARE YOU HERE?
CAN'T A GUY STOP AND
SAY HELLO TO HIS BUDDY?
UH, SURE,
ROGER BUDDY.
DID I SAY WE'RE
STAYING IN A HOTEL?
WELL, HAVE A GOOD TIME.
THEY DON'T ALLOW PETS.
THAT'S TOO BAD.
WHAT'S A GUY TO DO?
LEAVE HIS PE
IN THE RAIN?
I DON'T KNOW.
A PET'S GOT TO BE SAFE, RIGHT?
YEAH.
WITH SOMEBODY TRUSTWORTHY.
YEAH
YEAH, GLAD WE
AGREE, FUNNIE.
THAT'S WHY I'M LETTING YOU
TAKE CARE OF STINKY.
STINKY?
HELLO, EMERGENCY?
I'M CALLING TO REPORT A CAT.
NO, I DON'T WANT A CAT RESCUED,
I WANT HIM ARRESTED.
HEY!
OW!
HOW SOON CAN
THE POLICE GET HERE?
NEVER MIND.
[ footsteps]
[ hinge creaks]
[ barks]
THAT'S ME.
HEY!
[ barks]
[ yelps]
COME ON, FUNNIE,
BE A PAL.
I DON'T KNOW
IF I SHOULD.
COME ON, JUS
LOOK AT THAT FACE.
HOW COULD YOU
SAY NO TO A
FACE LIKE THAT?
SO WHA
DO YOU SAY?
GEE, I DON'
KNOW, ROGER.
MY PARENTS
ARE AWAY
AND JUDY DOESN'
LIKE CATS.
WHAT A MAGNIFICEN
CREATURE!
SUCH RAW FELINE POWER,
SUCH ANIMAL GRACE
AND SUCH A CUTE WITTLE TUMMY.
EXACTLY, SO YOU'LL DO IT?
UH-UH, UH-UH.
WELL, I'M NOT SURE.
I MEAN
FORGET IT,
IT'S NO BIGGIE.
I'LL JUS
STAY HOME
AND MISS THE MONSTER TRUCK SHOW
I'VE BEEN LOOKING
FORWARD TO ALL YEAR.
[ sobbing]
DOUG, WHAT'S THA
NOISE HE'S MAKING?
OKAY, ROGER, IF I
MEANS THAT MUCH TO YOU.
FUNNIE, YOU'RE
A REAL PAL.
LITTLE DID I KNOW
WHAT I WAS GETTING INTO.
IT'LL BE A CINCH,
ALL YOU NEED IS A FEW THINGS.
HERE.
OH, AND ONE
MORE THING.
I PUT STINKY ON A DIET.
SKINNY KITTY CAT FOOD.
HOW COME?
HE'S GETTING
FAT AND HE'S
BEEN SICK.
YOU SHOULD SEE
HOW MUCH PUKE
THAT GUY CAN BLOW.
OKAY, OKAY.
JUST KEEP HIM
ON HIS DIET.
GOT IT?
YEAH, I GOT IT.
WELL, HAVE A GOOD TRIP.
HEY, FUNNIE?
YEAH.
I'M COUNTING ON YOU.
WOW, ROGER REALLY CARES
ABOUT THAT CAT.
WELL, STINKY, I GUESS
WE'RE GOING TO BE WHOA!
TAKING CARE OF STINKY WAS GOING
TO BE A REAL BARREL OF LAUGHS.
"EACH NIGHT, CHECK STINKY FOR
TICKS, CLEAN OUT CRUSTY EYE GUNK
"PUT EAR DROPS IN EARS
AND DON'T FORGET TO FLOSS."
WELL, TIME TO HI
THE STINKARIUM.
STINKY!
HUH?
[ caterwauling
"Old Mill Stream"]
CUT THAT OUT!
[ cats screeching]
PEW!
STINKY, DINNER.
WHY CAN'T YOU JUST EA
PIZZA LIKE A NORMAL PET?
OH, NO, WHY
DID I SAY THAT?
STINKY, YOU
CAN'T HAVE PIZZA.
YOU'RE ON A DIET.
NO, UH-UH, FORGET IT!
[ neighbors yelling]
Doug:
IT'S GOOD, SEE?
MMM, YES.
MMM, OH, MY YES, GOOD, TASTY.
SEE, IT'S NOT SO
EXCUSE ME.
[ toilet flushing]
MMM-MMM!
ONE SCOOP
PICKLE RIPPLE
ONE SCOOP ANCHOVY MADNESS
AND A CHERRY.
SATISFIED?
I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE
GIVEN IN TO STINKY.
MAYBE ALL THAT JUNK FOOD
MADE HIM SICK.
STINKY?
HE'S ON THE LOOSE.
STINKY?
OH, STINKY!
IT'S TIME FOR YOUR BREAKFAST!
STINKY.
YOU CAN'T HIDE FOREVER, STINKY.
I KNOW YOU'RE UP HERE.
STINKY?
YOU IN HERE?
OH, HONESTLY,
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU WORRY
ABOUT THAT CAT.
DON'T YOU KNOW
CATS ARE
INDEPENDENT?
THAT'S WHY THEY'RE BETTER
THAN DOGS.
YOU CAN'T LET HIM
OUT OF YOUR SIGH
FOR A SECOND.
DID YOU KNOW
THE ANCIENT EGYPTIANS
WORSHIPPED CATS?
THEY BELIEVED
THE SOUL OF
[ screaming]
[ moaning]
WILL YOU
LOOK AT THIS?
THERE IS FUCHSIA FUR
ALL OVER MY VICTORIAN
DINNER GOWN!
MY FLAPPER HAT IS
FULL OF HAIRBALLS!
I WANT THA
FILTHY BEAST OUT!!
STINKY WAS SICK
AND IT WAS ALL MY FAULT.
HOW COULD I BREAK IT TO ROGER?
ROGER, YEAH, STINKY ISN'
QUITE AS HEALTHY AS USUAL.
I DIDN'T FOLLOW HIS
DIET TO THE LETTER.
OH, GOOD, I'M GLAD
YOU UNDERSTAND.
NO, ROGER, NO
Roger:
I TRUSTED YOU, FUNNIE.
I TRUSTED YOU!
HELP!
Skeeter:
I HAD A BEACH
BALL LIKE THAT.
MADE THE
SAME NOISE.
THINK HE'S
GOING TO BLOW?
IT'S ROGER!
WHAT'LL I TELL HIM?
HEWWO?
OH, HI, ROGER.
OH, YEAH, STINKY'S GREAT.
OH, NO, YOU CAN'T TALK TO HIM.
WHY NOT?
HE'S WANTS
TO TALK TO STINKY.
MEA
[ clears throat]
MEOW!
Meow, meow.
FORGET IT, VALENTINE.
PUT STINKY ON, PRONTO.
HE'S NOT BUYING IT.
LISTEN, ROGER,
STINKY'S SICK.
What do
you mean sick?
Start explaining.
WE'RE TAKING HIM TO THE VET.
I
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?
Stinky:
[ meowing]
LET'S GET MOVING, MAN.
I CAN'T TAKE IT!
THIS IS DRIVING ME CRAZY.
I'M GOING TO STAR
ASKING SOME QUESTIONS.
Woman:
IF HE'D BROUGH
THE CAT IN TOMORROW
IT WOULD HAVE
BEEN TOO LATE.
Man:
EVEN SOONER.
IT COULD ALL BE OVER
ANY MINUTE NOW.
WHAT'D THEY SAY?
THEY SAID IT WAS
ALL OVER, SKEETER.
STINKY'S DYING.
WHAT, FROM ICE CREAM?
I WAS SUPPOSED
TO TAKE CARE OF HIM.
AND INSTEAD,
I'VE KILLED HIM.
WHAT'LL I TELL ROGER?
Roger:
WHERE IS HE?
WHERE'S STINKY?
ROGER, I TRIED
TO TELL YOU.
WHAT HAPPENED, FUNNIE?
WHERE'S MY CAT?
ROGER, IT'S ALL MY FAULT.
I FED STINKY PIZZA
AND ICE CREAM.
YOU DID WHAT?
I THOUGHT IT WAS OKAY.
YOU DID WHAT?!
I TRIED TO TALK HIM OUT OF IT.
YOU DID WHAT?!!
NOW, IT LOOKS LIKE
HE'S, HE'S GOING TO
BE A VERY PROUD MOTHER.
HUH?
HUH!
STINKY
IS A GIRL?
ROGER, WHY DIDN'
YOU TELL ME?
WELL, HOW WAS
I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?
SON, WE'RE WAY PAST DUE
FOR A VERY IMPORTANT TALK.
Vet:
PREGNANT ANIMALS ALWAYS
GET HUNGRY FOR STRANGE FOODS.
WHEN YOU FED STINKY PIZZA
YOU WERE DOING
WHAT NATURE ORDERED.
YOU DIDN'T HAVE
TO TELL ROGER
ANYTHING.
NO, I'M GLAD
I TOLD ROGER.
I'D WANT HIM
TO TELL ME
IF THERE WAS SOMETHING
WRONG WITH PORKCHOP.
THERE IS SOMETHING
WRONG WITH PORKCHOP.
BLUFFINGTON, BUMPER STICKER
CAPITAL OF THE WORLD.
FAMILIES CELEBRATE THE BLUFFCO
FAMILY BUMPER STICKER PICNIK.
AS THE BARBECUE WINDS DOWN
EVERYONE GEARS UP
FOR THE BIG WHEELBARROW RACE.
EVERYONE EXCEPT ME.
I'M WRAPPING UP ANOTHER CASE.
"'HE'S GETTING AWAY,'
GINNY WHIZ EXCLAIMED.
"'THAT'S OKAY,' REPLIED JIMMY.
"'I FIGURED OU
WHO KIDNAPPED FATHER.'
TURN TO PAGE 103 FOR SOLUTION."
Patti:
YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO FIGURE OU
THE SOLUTION
FOR YOURSELF.
DON'T WORRY, IT'S EASY.
POOPSIE MALLOY.
NOPE.
MR. VAN HEUVEL?
NOPE.
BIZZY BERNARD?
"REMEMBER, AMATEUR SLEUTHS
"DON'T BE MISLEAD
BY THE MOTIVES.
ALWAYS LOOK A
THE EVIDENCE FIRST."
Skeeter:
HEY, DOUG,
HEY, PATTI.
HAVE ANY OF YOU GUYS
SEEN A WHEELBARROW
SAY, IS THA
WHIZ KIDS #49?
THAT WAS AN EASY ONE.
I KNEW IT WAS
SSH!
DOUG HASN'
FIGURED IT OUT.
I'M WORKING ON IT.
SHEESH.
HMM
PROFESSOR WHIZ
KIDNAPPED HIMSELF.
HUH?
ROGER, HE
ALMOST HAD IT.
ROG, HAVE YOU SEEN MY
WHEELBARROW ANYWHERE?
WHY WOULD I TAKE
YOUR WHEELBARROW?
I WOULDN'T ENTER THAT RACE.
PROFESSOR WHIZ KIDNAPPED HIMSELF
IN ORDER TO TES
HIS EXTRAORDINARILY
BRILLIANT CHILDREN.
Mr. Dink:
DOUGLAS, PATRICIA!
SOMETHING TERRIBLE
WHIZ KIDS #49!
THAT WAS
AN EASY ONE.
THAT PROFESSOR
WHIZ
YEAH, WHAT'S SO
TERRIBLE, MR. DINK?
WHAT?
OH, SOMEBODY SABOTAGED
THE WHEELBARROW RACE!
SABOTAGED THE WHEELBARROW RACE?
SABOTAGED
THE WHEELBARROW RACE?
I DON'T KNOW WHY
BUT SOMETHING TOLD ME
THE WHEELBARROW RACE
HAD BEEN SABOTAGED.
[ footsteps]
[ hinge creaks]
[ barks]
THAT'S ME.
HEY!
[ barks]
[ yelps]
Doug:
WITHOUT BUMPERS, THIS RACE
IS JUST BLINDFOLDED PEOPLE
PUSHING EACH OTHER
IN WHEELBARROWS.
IT WAS THE BEST RACE
I EVER INVENTED.
SIX MONTHS JUST TO
COME UP WITH THE NAME.
I HAD TO GET AN ANGLE ON
THIS BUMPER BURGLAR AND FAST.
THERE WAS ONLY ONE THING TO DO.
SHADOWY FIGURE,
I SUPPOSE YOU CAN TELL US
WHERE YOU WERE
57 MINUTES AND
41 SECONDS AGO.
I WAS AT THE ZOO.
NO, I MEAN I WAS
AT THE MOVIES.
NO, I MEAN
WHAT ARE THOSE UNDER YOUR COAT?
UH, PENCILS?
HUH!
PENCILS, INDEED!
THAT'S WHAT YOU'LL NEED
TO SIGN A CONFESSION.
DOUG WHIZ, YOU SOLVED
THE MYSTERY WITHOUT EVEN LOOKING
AT THE ANSWER
ON PAGE 103.
ONCE YOU UNDERSTAND
THE CRIMINAL MIND
Mr. Dink:
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
I WAS JUST THINKING
THAT, UM, UM
THAT WE COULD SOLVE
THE MYSTERY TOGETHER.
DOUG, WHA
A GREAT IDEA!
YOU CAN'T DO
DETECTIVE WORK
WITHOUT A MAGNIFYING
GLASS AND
YOU DROPPED
YOUR GLOVE.
THANKS, DOUGLAS.
GEIGER COUNTER
NOT TO MENTION
A CLUE.
THIS ISN'T MINE.
DOUG, YOU
FOUND A CLUE.
A CLUE?
YOU KNOW WHA
THAT MEANS.
WHAT?
I GET TO BUY ALL
THAT DETECTIVE EQUIPMENT.
LOOKS LIKE IT'S
YOU AND ME.
THE FUNNIE-MAYONNAISE DETECTIVE
AGENCY WAS OPEN FOR BUSINESS.
YOU SAY CHUBBS MCPUTTY LOS
HIS CANDY BAR COLLECTION?
SOMEONE'S UPROOTED MRS.
KAPRUDER'S PRIZED PETUNIAS?
I SAID A LARGE!
AND NO ANCHOVIES!
Computer voice:
Shadowy figure alert!
Shadowy figure alert!
Shadowy figure alert!
Quick, he's getting away.
ANY ONE OF THESE FAMILIES
COULD BE A COVER
FOR A BUMPER-SMUGGLING GANG.
ALL WE'VE
GOT TO DO
IS FIND OUT WHO
DROPPED THIS GLOVE.
THE WAY TO DO THA
IS TO FIGURE OU
WHICH FAMILY
GAINS THE MOST.
Patti:
OR WHO'S
MISSING A GLOVE.
MAYBE THE STUDEBAKERS WERE
AFRAID THEY'D LOSE THE RACE
AND THEIR ATHLETIC
REPUTATION.
SO THEY STOLE THEM TO
AVOID EMBARRASSMENT.
OR THE BLUFFS.
WHO COULD BE
MORE SUSPICIOUS
THAN A FAMILY
THAT HATES
RUNNING RACES?
Patti:
MR. VALENTINE
MR. VAL
HUH, SKEETER'S DAD?
NICE TRY, PATTI,
BUT I DON'T THINK
JOE VALENTINE.
MR. VALENTINE?
IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.
WHY WOULD SKEETER'S
DAD WANT OLD BUMPERS?
DOUG, HE'S GOT THEM.
LIKE I SAY, YOU JUST HAVE
TO FOLLOW THE EVIDENCE.
IT WAS HARD TO ARGUE
WITH MY PARTNER
BUT SOMETHING BOTHERED ME.
HEY!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
ARE YOU
GETTING READY?
Mr. Funnie:
WHERE DO YOU
WANT THESE?
DAD?
MY OWN DAD,
A COMMON BUMPER THIEF?
BUT I TELL YOU
WE'RE THAT THING WHERE
YOU DIDN'T DO IT
INNOCENT, JOE.
WE'RE INNOCENT!
INNOCENT,
I TELL YOU.
DON'T CRY,
SKEET.
HE'LL BE OU
IN FIVE, TEN TOPS.
BUT, DOUG, WHO ARE WE
GOING TO GET TO RUN
THE BUMPER STICKER
RACE WITH US?
KIDS, YOU WANT TO HELP US
WITH TONIGHT'S BONFIRE?
WELL!
I WONDERED WHERE
RUBY PUT MY GLOVE.
MRS. VALENTINE HAD THE GLOVES?
THEN SHE'S
SEE YOU LATER,
MR. VALENTINE.
A BREAK IN THE CASE!
WE NOW HAD A NEW
SUSPECT, MRS. VALENTINE.
WE FOUND HER MEETING SECRETLY
WITH MRS. KLOTZ AND MRS. DINK.
NEAR THE SCENE OF THE CRIME.
SO I TOLD HIM
"YOU CAN RUN
THE WHEELBARROW RACE.
ALL WE NEED
IS A KID."
DO YOU THINK
MRS. VALENTINE
IS THE CULPRIT?
HEY, MOM, I THINK
I'M GOING
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING, FUNNIE?
HONEY, PLEASE,
NOT AGAIN.
I'VE BEEN ON MY FEE
AT THE HAIR SALON ALL WEEK.
I CAN'T RUN
THAT RACE.
NO, MOM,
THAT'S NOT WHAT I
I'M SORRY,
ROGER.
MAYBE YOUR
FATHER
CAN RACE NEXT YEAR.
ROGER'S DAD LIVES
IN BLOATSBURG.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
ROGER, THE RACE HAS
ALREADY STARTED.
NO, IT HASN'T.
IT'S NOT STARTING
FOR ANOTHER 15 MINUTES.
THEN WHAT WAS
SQUEAKING OVER THERE
IF NOT A WHEELBARROW?
ARE YOU THINKING
WHAT I'M THINKING?
NO.
THE EVIDENCE!
SOMEONE STOLE THE
VALENTINES' WHEELBARROW
AND THEIR GLOVES.
DON'T YOU SEE?
THE SQUEAKY SOUND
IN THE BUSHES WAS
SOMEBODY STEALING THE BUMPERS!
AND LOOK,
THERE'S THE TRACK.
A SHADOWY FIGURE!A SHADOWY FIGURE!
SKEETER!
YOU STOLE
THE BUMPERS!
HUH, WHA
BUMPERS?
I'VE JUST BEEN LOOKING
FOR MY WHEELBARROW.
YOU GO
TO BELIEVE ME.
I WAS FRAMED,
I TELL YOU.
WHERE WERE YOU ONE HOUR AGO?
DON'T I NEED A LAWYER FOR THIS?
WAIT A MINUTE,
PATTI.
HE WAS WITH US
ONE HOUR AGO, REMEMBER?
HE WAS LOOKING FOR HIS
WHEELBARROW LIKE HE SAYS.
Patti:
THEN WHO COULD HAVE DONE IT?
WHY WOULD I TAKE
YOUR WHEELBARROW?
I WOULDN'T ENTER THAT RACE.
AND I JUST CAN'T RUN
THAT RACE WITH YOU.
I'M SORRY YOUR FATHER
COULDN'T COME IN
FROM BLOATSBURG
THIS TIME, ROGER.
Doug:
WHIZ KIDS #49: "THE SECRET
OF THE DISAPPEARING DAD."
I GOT IT!
I FIGURED OUT WHO DID IT.
HEY, KIDS, I'M BACK.
HEY, THE BUMPERS.
WELL, WHA
DO YOU KNOW?
DOUG FIGURED OU
WHO THE THIEF WAS.
AW, I DIDN'T EVEN GE
TO USE ALL THIS GREAT STUFF.
IT WAS VERY EXPENSIVE.
IT WAS ROGER.
OH, MAN.
IT'S ALWAYS
ROGER.
HIS FATHER DOESN'
LIVE HERE ANYMORE.
IF ROGER
COULDN'T RACE
HE DIDN'T WAN
ANYONE ELSE TO.
CONGRATULATIONS,
DOUG, WE DID IT!
PATTI WAS RIGHT, WE DID I
AND EVERYONE WAS HAPPY.
EVERYONE THAT IS, EXCEPT
THE MYSTERY WAS SOLVED.
BUT THE CASE WASN'T CLOSED YET.
SOMETHING STILL WASN'T RIGHT.
THAT'S OKAY.
LET THE OTHERS
HAVE A GOOD TIME.
WE'LL JUST WATCH.
WAIT, WHERE
ARE YOU GOING?
I CAN'T RUN
THE RACE WITHOUT YOU.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
I'M CLOSING A CASE.
MR. DINK!
[ whispering]
HUH? YEAH!
MR. DINK ASKED
ROGER TO RUN THE RACE
AND THE MYSTERY OF THE MISSING
BUMPERS CAME TO AN END.
SOLVING A MYSTERY IS MORE THAN
LOOKING AT THE HARD EVIDENCE.
YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOUR GUT.
RIGHT NOW MY GUT'S GROWLING.
PORKCHOP, LET'S GO INVESTIGATE
THE REFRIGERATOR.