Five Bedrooms (2019) s03e01 Episode Script
Zero Logic
Previously on 5 Bedrooms.
I have been accepted to do my Masters of Law at Cambridge.
For a second I thought you were going to tell me you were running away with Stuart or something.
Maybe when you've been in a relationship a bit longer you'll understand.
I made you think that Mia would be better off without you and I hate myself for that.
I want to be in her life.
She really likes you.
She reckons you're funny.
Here we are. We're in the room and I want to wake up with you.
I'm going to need to rent out my room for the year so I was thinking maybe Simo.
Yeah that's not a good idea I'm afraid.
I'm not going to pretend I'm not keen on you.
As delightful as it would have been to have Simo move in we'll find someone else.
If we did put the room on Airbnb then maybe you'd get your rent and I'd clear enough cash to go back to uni too.
I'm heartbroken and a little jealous but you are getting on that flight.
Don't feel bad about leaving because we're here when it mattered and it helped.
It took a bit of getting used to just the four of us in the house.
We all miss Lizzie but I found myself in a bit of a sweet spot.
Simo and I had taken charge of the B&B.
Bit of a slow start, a couple of cancellations but finally we're about to welcome our first guests.
And the rest of the house were depending on us big time.
Some people will say don't work with your mates.
Those people hadn't met Kevin, Daniel, Richard, Fitzsimons.
Can you have a look at this?
Is it a bit off balance as a composition?
No your left right's beautiful.
It's more, is it one element?
It's a bit firm.
Good day.
Jeez.
You've done it.
Mate you've done it.
For 20 years I've never seen you like this on site.
What?
You're so alive mate.
You're firing on all fours, it's like you're using every inch of yourself.
It's your leadership mate.
When you finish tweaking that you want to go take a last look at the positioning of those hand towns?
Copy that.
They're completely at sea.
Or are they just very enthusiastic?
If your whole financial future was resting on this you might not be so generous.
Liz just wanted to know where they ended up leaving the key.
They're not actually leaving the key out anymore.
The plan is to meet Gerry and Sam and deliver it in person.
I'm sorry why?
Lizzie had lined up her oldest frenemy as our first guest.
Pretty impressive given she was still on the other side of the world.
Hi sorry Liz.
They did actually purchase a lock box but Simo accidentally locked it and forgot the code.
Could one of you meet with them instead?
If you could see their level of preparation.
I recognise that Ben has a version of charm but it's not going to work with Gerry and Sam.
I'll have a chat, sure.
Also just wanting to confirm sparkling water in glass bottles and 1200 thread count sheets.
I haven't actually seen the room yet.
What? Are you joking?
Yeah I might go have a look.
We need independent eyes on that room as soon as humanly possible.
Is it the feature pillows?
How long do we have till they arrive?
10 maybe 15 minutes.
Okay.
So, half the display cushions.
Just put one chocolate on each pillow not two entire blocks.
You've used the wrong sheets, the champagne should not be open.
For the love of God move those leaves away from the open flame.
Oh hey no, it is so beautiful.
Okay there's just so much of it but it's just finessing really.
I can see Simo's having a bit of a wobble but last minute rejigs were where I did my best work.
If they're a crazy hot lesbian couple they're here.
I'll go greet them.
Oh Harry!
No no no wait I'll do it.
Liz said no nicknames.
Oh afternoon ladies welcome.
Welcome.
Jezza is it?
Yes, hi.
Ah how are you Jezza?
And I'm Sam.
Sam how are you?
We're actually back this way follow me.
How's the jet lag?
Oh well we came from Sydney so.
Oh right right yeah I personally medicate for any flight so there's no shame in it.
Nothing illegal of course but it depends where you are in the world for that one because
the goal posts are constantly shifting.
But you want to see your, you alright with your bags?
Yeah yeah.
Just follow me.
Okay.
Just through here.
Watch your step.
Oh jeez.
Sorry.
Just going to lose air.
Sorry you want to stay in your bathroom as you came through you're right there.
Spare towels in the cabinet.
Sing out if you need any more of anything.
Is that Bergamot?
Well what's the hell of a nose you've got there?
It's actually a triple threat.
Lemon, lime, thyme and Bergamot.
If it's too strong I can.
Ah it's not too strong.
It's Gerry's favourite.
Wish I could say I'd researched you that thoroughly but it's just a happy accident.
For all the back and forth, all the false starts and rethinks, seeing them step into
that space felt like the birth of an empire to me.
So you'll find all your menus, services, your mini bar, so on and so forth in your guest
handbook.
Otherwise I'm going to get out of your hair.
Lovely.
Great thanks Ben.
It was hard to believe how far I could fall and how fast.
Actually did you want a drink to go with your complimentary Belgian chocolate?
I'd love a tea.
Excellent choice.
Earl Grey, organic ginger.
Just a green, thanks.
Can I get a kombucha?
You can, and you will.
Bec, how are ya?
Is Mia with you?
Ah no, why?
Was I supposed to pick her up?
No I was but she's not here and her phone's not ringing.
We've got to call the cops.
Wait wait wait wait wait hang on, have you tried Sienna?
Sienna hasn't seen her since recess and her teacher said she hasn't shown up to any of
her classes.
What about little Bella?
She hasn't been friends with Bella for two years.
Who is he talking to?
Yeah but should we give it another hour or two before we get the coppers out?
They're not coming for you Ben.
Yeah I know that.
Yeah she didn't show up for practice, no one's seen her for hours and it's going to be dark soon.
Right, no you're right.
Um, I'll call them, you just don't panic, you come around here.
Alright?
I'll see you soon.
Bye, bye.
Hey is everything okay?
How'd they go with the candles?
We have liftoff.
Did you get a bevy order?
Yeah I'd like to speak to the police please.
Yeah they're after a green tea.
Yeah I'd just like to report a missing person please.
In Kambucha.
If it helps at all, I genuinely lost count of how many times my boys ran away.
Individually and as a team.
But I know it was way into double digits.
And Leah is twice as sharp as a pair of them put together.
You made a smart kid.
I think you might get a better version of her than I do.
I'm just a novelty, she likes that I swear a lot.
What if she didn't run away?
Oh what if someone's taken her?
Hey.
Ben.
Pete.
Come in.
I hadn't realised you'd moved so close.
Yeah we just moved down.
Bec this is Pete, he's one of our neighbours from the old place.
You must be Mia's mum.
Yes I am.
Hi Pete.
Hi.
Hi.
Shall we?
Yeah do you want to sit here?
Thank you.
Alright so Mia was last seen at 11am.
So we're about to be unknown for about six or seven hours now.
I think so.
Something like that yeah.
Unfortunately I can't file an official report until someone's been missing for 24 hours.
Even if that person is a minor.
But I mean let's just gather up as much information as we can.
The more we know the better.
So Mia lives with mum.
Yeah but tends to spend what about a night a week here?
Often too.
About that yeah.
Alright was there any indication that she was planning on running away?
Not at all.
Really?
Has her behaviour changed recently?
Well she's a teenager so.
I mean I guess I might have been a bit distracted over the last few months.
We've been setting up a bed and breakfast out the back and I've been a bit lost in that.
We had a fight last night.
Okay what about?
Mia was tired and frustrated with her brother.
We have a one year old at home and she's had some trouble adjusting.
Okay you know it might be helpful to just go through any recent phone or text messages for Mia.
Yeah.
Sometimes that can be informative.
Yeah.
Alright thank you.
Oh sorry I shouldn't have sent that giffy little fat kid falling over.
It's just funny.
I mean not our fat little fella is just how hard he hits the ground.
Not even that really.
It's just that angle.
Thank you.
I wasn't kidding about the fighting.
Can I just confirm these messages are they from you or Mia?
Yeah that's me.
I don't usually swear it's just that she wouldn't stop playing the violin.
She was doing it to annoy me.
Heather you also have contact with Mia?
Yeah just a bit.
Okay.
There are about three message threads on it.
Sorry four.
Sorry what's a witch's tit?
Oh just a little in joke.
It's just a nickname for a mean girl at Mia's school.
Who?
Oh well I can't remember a real name.
Look I'm sorry if it sounds inappropriate.
It does sound inappropriate out loud in front of a cop.
But I was you know just trying to give her a weapon.
You know just a little verbal weapon to defend herself.
From what?
The witch's tit.
So does Mia chat much with the other housemates?
No.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Where's Ainsley?
She's just finishing dropping the drinks off.
The cops want to see your phone so delete everything you don't want them to see.
Okay so they've already made a selection from the ala carte breakfast menu.
I need to write it down before I forget.
Oi.
Take a nice big breath for me.
Why?
The cop is people telly.
I can give you Sienna's mum's number.
That would be great.
Thank you.
And then.
So Pete do you remember Ains?
Yes.
And Simo.
Yeah I think so.
Yeah.
Old mate events.
Yeah since we're kids and we're also business partners and I've been romantically involved
with Ainsley for four months and nine days now.
Ah okay.
Also Mia's godfather.
You're not mate?
Yeah but if anything happened to her uncle Joey.
Well that's a conversation.
Yeah your phone's out of charge.
Oh sorry that bloody battery on that.
I'd be curious to know if you've had any direct contact with Mia.
What without you?
No that'd be a bit weird.
Harry.
I've only had the one brief exchange with her.
Um I was trying to organise a whole Christmas in July thing and I thought out of everyone
you know she'd be into it but no she wasn't keen.
Mia and I do have a couple of messages.
It's about pop stars mostly.
Taylor Swift and a few about Harry Styles.
No time.
So what happens now?
I suggest you go home and see if there's anything missing from Mia's room.
Look I'll be in contact.
Guys any questions or if you think of anything that might be helpful even if you're not sure
just please give me a call.
Yeah.
So good to see you.
You too.
You look great.
So do you.
Where's Liz?
Oh she's in Cambridge doing her masters.
She's coming back to visit actually.
She said you'd met someone special.
Oh.
Said he was so handsome she found it hard to look at him.
Yeah he was handsome but that's over now.
Oh I'm sorry.
Yeah so was I.
Not just because he was so handsome but more because he dumped me out of nowhere and I
don't know why.
You know I thought I was punching up but it turns out I was punching down.
Or punches were thrown anyway but I lost.
Harry I'm so sorry.
I, I
You go.
Yeah.
I'll be in touch.
Have you been speaking to Pete Portelli and not telling me?
Yeah and it was literally one message in March.
He said miss you guys great to see Harry looking so well.
How is he?
Okay and then what did you say?
Um he's great.
Has a new boyfriend so handsome it's hard to maintain eye contact.
And then what?
Nothing that's it.
Well I'm just, I'm staggered that you withheld this information.
What was early days with Xavier?
It would have been too loaded.
Is he still with his boyfriend?
I don't know.
Harry could you please tell me about Gerry and Sam?
Have they arrived?
Has anyone you know insulted them?
I think we should dig into that later.
Dig into what?
No nothing.
They're here.
They're fine.
What do you mean?
I'll call you back at 9pm your time.
No Harry.
I promise I'm sorry.
I promise.
Don't hang up.
When the sun set that night and Mia wasn't home that was the worst feeling I've had
in my life.
I just charged out into the world so desperate to find her and no idea where to start.
I realize I just witnessed that with my own eyes.
Ah!
Oh, Jesus.
Hey.
Oh, Mia.
Oh, darling, I got you.
It's okay.
Oh, it's okay.
What the hell is going on?
I got you.
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
It's okay.
It's okay.
That's it.
Shh.
I'm so, so sorry.
That's Ben's daughter, Mia.
She's usually very polite and a lot quieter than that.
This has never happened before.
Can I get you a chamomile tea?
No, no, we're fine.
Something stronger, a whiskey or a mild sedative.
Just sing out if you need any.
Okay, come inside and let's call your dad, yeah?
Can I stay?
Well, of course you can.
You're not just alone.
I wanna live here.
Come inside.
Come on.
Yeah, scared the hell out of me.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
I've never been that scared in my life.
What about when you were in jail?
Hey, you're in the shit.
Right, so don't joke around.
Where the hell were you?
I won't tell your mum.
Yes, you will.
Yeah, of course I will.
She's beside herself.
Good.
Good, yeah, all right.
Well, it's disappointing.
Because I actually thought you were smarter than that, man.
I was Eliza's.
Hey, which one's she?
She's a friend of mine.
So you were safe.
Are you calling Mum?
What are you ringing?
I don't wanna talk to her.
Oh, I don't care.
Yeah, well, tell her I'm not coming home.
What?
Heather said I could live here.
What?
You didn't quite say that.
Hang on, just back it up a sec.
Why?
Just tell me why don't you wanna go home?
It's not my home.
It was just about the baby.
Yes, I hate its guts.
He ruins everything and he's not even that cute.
Yeah, well, that's how you're supposed to feel about brothers.
You start off hating them over time,
you learn to ignore them and then they go away.
Hey, Richard, too.
So selfish and annoying.
Mum always sticks up for him.
Have you heard anything to it?
Come on, come with me.
So help me God, I'm going to kill her.
Can you put her on?
She, the thing is she doesn't feel ready to talk to you.
What?
I think she's just giving herself a bit of a scare
and she wants to crash here tonight, if that's all right.
What else did she say?
Not much, I mean, I caught you straight away.
All I know is she went to her mate's place and she's okay.
It's not your fault, Bec.
You don't know that.
Jeez.
Look, the good news is you handled it better than most.
Better than me.
Shit.
True shit.
First time Timmy came home, I screamed so loud
the neighbour from two blocks away called the cops on me.
That's when I started internalising.
Oh, Bec.
How's she holding up?
She's going to come round there in the morning.
Oh, man.
Should I make Mia tell her about wanting to move in here?
Look, it's going to hurt either way.
If it was me and I had a teenager and a one-year-old,
I'm at the softest landing.
Right now, I reckon that's you.
Maybe you should go over there.
It's a bit late.
She won't be sleeping anytime soon.
What are you doing?
Just thought maybe we could have a bit of a chat.
Go grab a drink.
I can't leave the house, Ben.
The baby's asleep and Richard's away.
Come in.
Sure.
Come in.
Black tea?
Great.
Thanks.
Have you got any pot on you?
What?
No.
No?
Why?
What are you talking about?
I haven't had a smoke since before I went inside.
You know that.
I know that.
I know.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I asked.
I appreciate the apology.
I could make a phone call.
No.
Oh, mate, I had no idea all this shit was happening with Mia.
I just don't know how I could be so clueless.
But I want you to know that I'm here this time.
I'm here because I know you're here.
Because you've done such an amazing job with her.
You know, and you've done it on your own for so long now.
I don't know.
Maybe it is time for me to really step it up.
Maybe she could come and stay at my place for a little while.
That was Mia's idea, wasn't it?
Yeah, but I've been thinking about it, and I reckon it'll lead us straight back to you.
Just hear me out.
Like, right now, I'm the fun dad.
And I've had that privilege most of her life thanks to you.
But now it's my turn to be the arsehole.
Oh, not
Yeah, arsehole.
I mean, like, the the strict one.
I'm telling you, a couple of days at mine,
she'll be begging you to let her come home.
I've fucked up.
No, you haven't.
I have in so many ways for so many years,
and I have got no idea of how to fix it.
No, Bec, nothing's broken.
Everything's broken.
I'm broken. Richard and I are
Oh
I'm alone, and I'm exhausted, and I'm never alone,
and I don't sleep, and my kids don't like me.
I am failing on every front.
I I don't even work full-time.
It's all right.
If they'd listened to you
You'll be all right, Bec.
And, um, Mia will be all right, too,
cos I'll make sure of it.
All right, then.
Thank you.
It's all right.
Bec
Bec
Bec
Oh!
It's OK.
She's gone. Check on him.
Hey, Phil.
Mate.
Yeah.
Uh
No idea.
Where you been?
Just driving around.
What are you doing out here in the dark by yourself?
Oh, just
Ains had a bit of trouble sleeping with me in the bed,
so hatched a cunning plan to give her a break from the old snorkel.
The snorting?
Yeah, I just pretend to go to sleep.
I wait till she falls asleep,
then come grab a kip on the couch for a few hours
and jump back into bed before she wakes up.
How's that working out for you?
It's a bit in and miss.
I fell asleep at the traffic lights the other day.
It's no good, mate.
I was gonna grab a chair.
How is she?
Uh, she's a bit up and down.
She's giving herself a pretty hard time.
She's been in a lot of pain lately.
She's been in a lot of pain.
She's giving herself a pretty hard time.
Of course she is.
I might recharge her in the morning,
see if there's anything I can do to help.
Or would that be weird?
It might be, yeah, just right now.
Not many blokes that have the balls to turn up for their ex
just the way you turned up tonight.
I'm sorry.
Oh, shh.
Sorry.
Make her a cyclist.
Is she that close?
She's wall red and paper thin.
I like it.
I don't know if I can.
It's okay.
Oh.
Sorry.
Look, I might not be a godfather,
but I still feel a duty of care.
At the same time, I don't want to let you down.
I love you.
Can I just trouble you to pass me the baking paper, please?
Yes, Chef.
Just the vinegar, if you don't mind.
Yes, Chef.
Morning.
Morning.
Morning.
Hey, where's Mia?
She's not up yet?
Oh, no, no, no.
She's dead to the world.
Liz was just wanting to be dialed in
so we can talk through the next steps for,
with Gerry and Sam, you know, after the disturbance.
Is she on the line?
Of course I am.
I'm just, I'm going to suggest that someone takes minutes
for this meeting because I'm going to want to refer back to them.
Ainsley?
Why me?
Because I'm a girl.
What am I?
Unreliable.
Ainsley's the only one whose handwriting I remotely trust.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
I've been thinking and knowing Gerry,
I think we should compile a dot-pointed list of reparations
to be printed out, put under her door,
then she can read them in her own time and respond in her own way.
And first up, obviously, I'll get Mia to go and apologise?
No, no, they should not cite her again.
Um, do we offer them a refund on last night?
I'm thinking both nights.
I could show if we drive them out to the airport.
In what vehicle?
I just see it.
Let's keep workshopping.
Would it be weird if I offered them a relaxing massage, free of charge?
I do have a remedial certificate.
It's not laminated, but, um, I could get it laminated.
Let's just steer clear of anything physical for now.
Ains, what's your gut saying?
I mean, I know Five Stars is probably off the table,
but do you reckon we're still in with a shot at three or three and a half?
I think the most we can hope for is just nothing.
Best-case scenario, they don't leave a rating at all,
so there's no record.
I'll go type up a letter,
and then I'll deliver it with this amazing complimentary breakfast.
I can do that.
No, it's fine.
Yeah, but come on, it's my kid.
But, Ben, I would feel more comfortable
if Ainsley took the lead on this one.
You know, she knows property,
and though it's not from lack of trying,
you have dropped the ball on this one.
Hang on, hang on.
His kid went missing, and then he was out all night
consoling his destroyed ex-wife.
Just give him a break.
Stuart's just going to bed, so I can't take any more calls,
but just message me all updates.
Of course.
If you didn't notice him well,
you'd assume little details had passed him by.
You OK?
Yeah, sorry, I just realised I've got to leave now, so
You said we had all morning.
Yeah, but just with the wind overnight,
I should probably just check on the tiles.
They never did.
Simo.
Yeah, morning.
Sorry, I've just got to
Yeah.
Hi, it's Mia. I'll leave a message.
Mia, it's Mum. I'm out in the front.
Can you come out, please?
Morning.
Come in.
Look, I just need to say a few things,
and I know that might be weird, and I'm sorry if it is,
but it's just who I am.
First of all, I want you to know
that I think you're an incredible mother.
If Mia's given you the impression that Ben's a better parent,
then I just want to say he is not a patch on you.
And I say that to his face. He agrees with me.
Mia is a crazy smart, self-aware teenage girl
who has no trouble asking for what she wants,
and that in itself is a fucking miracle.
Rebecca!
Here you are.
Oh, how good's this?
Finally.
Um, Mia's out there.
She's up. She's out there.
Have you had breakfast?
Not yet, no.
I'm asking you.
Oh, no.
Oh, no, I'm fine. I'm fine, thanks. Yeah.
You haven't had breakfast?
No.
You don't want to?
No, no, I'm good.
Oh, yeah, good, sorry.
Do you want to come through and see it?
Yeah.
Yeah, come through and see Mia.
Okay.
Did you want a coffee or something?
No, no, I'm fine, thanks.
Okay.
Hey.
Hey, honey, we really need to talk about what's going on.
You got something to say?
Morning.
Good morning.
So, you see, the situation's been resolved with Mia.
Yes, yeah, thank God.
Just wanted to follow up in person.
Oh, that's really thoughtful of you.
I mean, I'm sure it's probably just standard procedure.
For the record, I should say that it is, but it's not.
And you know what?
Sorry I was so formal yesterday.
It was just a strange
No, no, I actually didn't think you were, so
Okay, good.
Shall we head inside or?
Yes, sorry, I'm
She's just down the back.
You know, it's tricky to talk to Mum and Dad,
and that can make you feel isolated.
But you're not alone, yeah?
Alright, this is for you.
Just some information.
Don't have to do anything with it.
Don't even have to read it, if you don't want to.
But I hope you do, yeah?
And it's okay to feel overwhelmed.
And it's okay to just ask for help.
Mia, is there anything you want to say, mate?
Thank you.
That's all you got?
It's fine, mate, it really is.
I'm happy to get two syllables, more than I get for mine.
You're what?
I, ah I have a little boy.
What?
Congratulations.
Oh, please, how old is he?
Ah, six months.
He's not even awake yet, you poor bastard.
Congratulations.
Thanks, Harry.
47, I can see you're on Foozan Avenue.
Yeah, copy that.
I'll see myself out.
Thanks again, mate.
Any time, cheers.
I've got to pick up your brother too, so we should get moving.
Do I have to go with her?
I'm right here, Mia.
And no, you can stay here for one more night.
Till Monday?
You have an early start on Monday, so no.
I'll miss you.
Is Heather fucking with me?
What?
How?
What do you mean?
Does she know?
No, she's
No, she knew.
Did you tell Simo?
I just don't understand how I misread the situation so profoundly.
I do.
He gave you love eyes and he tried to hide it with his serious police face.
The only way he could have been less available would have been if he was actually pregnant
himself.
Sorry, there was a lot wrong with that sentence.
I don't know where it came from.
How do we know he's not a single dad?
He's not single.
How do you know?
He had a boyfriend.
Two years ago.
If you're checking Instagram, you're not gonna find anything.
He's a cop.
He doesn't post.
Would it be a deal breaker for you if he was a single dad?
I don't know.
I don't think so.
I've always secretly fantasised about dating a man with kids.
Is that related to The Sound of Music?
It totally is.
I watched that movie a lot as a child.
I just think I'd be a really amazing stepfather.
You would be.
You would too, be an amazing stepfather.
Maybe.
You really need to find out what the situation is.
I really do.
I need my help.
I really don't.
Please don't help me.
What's going on?
Look.
Such a classy move to iron that newspaper.
Yeah, it was Simo's idea.
Yeah, but it's still there, Ben.
Yeah, with the breakfast and the lunch.
I mean, do we even want them eating the breakfast now?
Absolutely not.
So I'm gonna go up.
At the very least.
Should I just go knock on the door?
I'm gonna say no, just on the off chance that they've lost consciousness.
You thinking it's better if we don't wake them up a second time?
I am thinking that, yeah.
Yeah, I'm with you.
You know, we need to put some sort of monitor in there for this kind of scenario.
That's illegal.
No, not dodgy.
No visuals.
I mean, like a baby monitor.
Still very illegal.
Yeah?
Maybe we aim for a gentle, soto knock.
Carefully calibrated.
What are you doing?
Tell her.
Tell her not to come.
I'm just housekeeping.
I'm not telling Liz again.
They checked out at 9.50 a.m. and they've canceled their second night.
They're not getting their deposit back.
I'd say we need to contact them.
I'd say it's a phone call.
I can do it if you like.
No, no, I've figured I'd rip in anyone.
It should be me.
Hello.
Jezza, it's Ben from the B&B.
I won't keep you long.
Just noting that you've already checked out.
I just wanted to see how you found your stay.
Ben, it was the worst accommodation experience we've ever had.
Right.
Well, that surprised me.
That's surprising.
Is it?
We had an intruder in our bed.
I can imagine more restful sleeps in actual war zones.
Put it on speaker.
No, look, that makes sense.
Just before I let you go, could I ask if you'd be likely to recommend us to your family
and all friends?
Only as a cruel joke.
Right.
But Liz is an old friend and I know that room is helping to fund her degree, so
Five stars.
They've just left a five star review.
What did they say?
They just said their plans changed, but they loved the informal vibe, the depth, the detail,
and they'll be sure to recommend us to any of their friends coming our way in the future.
Another lie.
Sad part is I was pretty sure I was getting better at it.
I'll be on my way, guys.
Hey, mate.
Hey.
Just the other night, look, I did go over to Becca's and we did chat, but I
How many times?
Just once.
I swear to God.
For fuck's sake.
Yeah, it probably sounds like bullshit, but it was like I wasn't even there.
I mean, obviously I was there physically.
I'm not saying I'm not responsible.
Of course I am, and I feel sick about it.
I just didn't know how to stop it.
You started in the first place, mate.
I guess an head doesn't know.
There's no reason to tell them, mate.
It was just panic and stress, and when we were done, we both knew it should never have
happened, and it'll never happen again.
Please, don't tell Ella.
Or Ainsley.
Mate, mate, just for me, for now, just bury it.
Just put it in a box.
Put the box in the ground.
Concrete it in.
Forget about it.
Next time on Five Bedrooms
Look at you.
I miss you all so much.
I don't even have words.
How do you know what I'm ready for?
Harry, I've known Geri for 20 years.
You've met her a handful of times.
I just really want to see you.
Sorry, honey, I just can't.
Is there someone else?
What?
Are you cheating on her?
Me?
Every day, it's getting harder.
Yeah, but see how it'll get easier.
I thought Bec and I were in a good place.
I haven't offended her, have I?
A bit jumpy.
I have been accepted to do my Masters of Law at Cambridge.
For a second I thought you were going to tell me you were running away with Stuart or something.
Maybe when you've been in a relationship a bit longer you'll understand.
I made you think that Mia would be better off without you and I hate myself for that.
I want to be in her life.
She really likes you.
She reckons you're funny.
Here we are. We're in the room and I want to wake up with you.
I'm going to need to rent out my room for the year so I was thinking maybe Simo.
Yeah that's not a good idea I'm afraid.
I'm not going to pretend I'm not keen on you.
As delightful as it would have been to have Simo move in we'll find someone else.
If we did put the room on Airbnb then maybe you'd get your rent and I'd clear enough cash to go back to uni too.
I'm heartbroken and a little jealous but you are getting on that flight.
Don't feel bad about leaving because we're here when it mattered and it helped.
It took a bit of getting used to just the four of us in the house.
We all miss Lizzie but I found myself in a bit of a sweet spot.
Simo and I had taken charge of the B&B.
Bit of a slow start, a couple of cancellations but finally we're about to welcome our first guests.
And the rest of the house were depending on us big time.
Some people will say don't work with your mates.
Those people hadn't met Kevin, Daniel, Richard, Fitzsimons.
Can you have a look at this?
Is it a bit off balance as a composition?
No your left right's beautiful.
It's more, is it one element?
It's a bit firm.
Good day.
Jeez.
You've done it.
Mate you've done it.
For 20 years I've never seen you like this on site.
What?
You're so alive mate.
You're firing on all fours, it's like you're using every inch of yourself.
It's your leadership mate.
When you finish tweaking that you want to go take a last look at the positioning of those hand towns?
Copy that.
They're completely at sea.
Or are they just very enthusiastic?
If your whole financial future was resting on this you might not be so generous.
Liz just wanted to know where they ended up leaving the key.
They're not actually leaving the key out anymore.
The plan is to meet Gerry and Sam and deliver it in person.
I'm sorry why?
Lizzie had lined up her oldest frenemy as our first guest.
Pretty impressive given she was still on the other side of the world.
Hi sorry Liz.
They did actually purchase a lock box but Simo accidentally locked it and forgot the code.
Could one of you meet with them instead?
If you could see their level of preparation.
I recognise that Ben has a version of charm but it's not going to work with Gerry and Sam.
I'll have a chat, sure.
Also just wanting to confirm sparkling water in glass bottles and 1200 thread count sheets.
I haven't actually seen the room yet.
What? Are you joking?
Yeah I might go have a look.
We need independent eyes on that room as soon as humanly possible.
Is it the feature pillows?
How long do we have till they arrive?
10 maybe 15 minutes.
Okay.
So, half the display cushions.
Just put one chocolate on each pillow not two entire blocks.
You've used the wrong sheets, the champagne should not be open.
For the love of God move those leaves away from the open flame.
Oh hey no, it is so beautiful.
Okay there's just so much of it but it's just finessing really.
I can see Simo's having a bit of a wobble but last minute rejigs were where I did my best work.
If they're a crazy hot lesbian couple they're here.
I'll go greet them.
Oh Harry!
No no no wait I'll do it.
Liz said no nicknames.
Oh afternoon ladies welcome.
Welcome.
Jezza is it?
Yes, hi.
Ah how are you Jezza?
And I'm Sam.
Sam how are you?
We're actually back this way follow me.
How's the jet lag?
Oh well we came from Sydney so.
Oh right right yeah I personally medicate for any flight so there's no shame in it.
Nothing illegal of course but it depends where you are in the world for that one because
the goal posts are constantly shifting.
But you want to see your, you alright with your bags?
Yeah yeah.
Just follow me.
Okay.
Just through here.
Watch your step.
Oh jeez.
Sorry.
Just going to lose air.
Sorry you want to stay in your bathroom as you came through you're right there.
Spare towels in the cabinet.
Sing out if you need any more of anything.
Is that Bergamot?
Well what's the hell of a nose you've got there?
It's actually a triple threat.
Lemon, lime, thyme and Bergamot.
If it's too strong I can.
Ah it's not too strong.
It's Gerry's favourite.
Wish I could say I'd researched you that thoroughly but it's just a happy accident.
For all the back and forth, all the false starts and rethinks, seeing them step into
that space felt like the birth of an empire to me.
So you'll find all your menus, services, your mini bar, so on and so forth in your guest
handbook.
Otherwise I'm going to get out of your hair.
Lovely.
Great thanks Ben.
It was hard to believe how far I could fall and how fast.
Actually did you want a drink to go with your complimentary Belgian chocolate?
I'd love a tea.
Excellent choice.
Earl Grey, organic ginger.
Just a green, thanks.
Can I get a kombucha?
You can, and you will.
Bec, how are ya?
Is Mia with you?
Ah no, why?
Was I supposed to pick her up?
No I was but she's not here and her phone's not ringing.
We've got to call the cops.
Wait wait wait wait wait hang on, have you tried Sienna?
Sienna hasn't seen her since recess and her teacher said she hasn't shown up to any of
her classes.
What about little Bella?
She hasn't been friends with Bella for two years.
Who is he talking to?
Yeah but should we give it another hour or two before we get the coppers out?
They're not coming for you Ben.
Yeah I know that.
Yeah she didn't show up for practice, no one's seen her for hours and it's going to be dark soon.
Right, no you're right.
Um, I'll call them, you just don't panic, you come around here.
Alright?
I'll see you soon.
Bye, bye.
Hey is everything okay?
How'd they go with the candles?
We have liftoff.
Did you get a bevy order?
Yeah I'd like to speak to the police please.
Yeah they're after a green tea.
Yeah I'd just like to report a missing person please.
In Kambucha.
If it helps at all, I genuinely lost count of how many times my boys ran away.
Individually and as a team.
But I know it was way into double digits.
And Leah is twice as sharp as a pair of them put together.
You made a smart kid.
I think you might get a better version of her than I do.
I'm just a novelty, she likes that I swear a lot.
What if she didn't run away?
Oh what if someone's taken her?
Hey.
Ben.
Pete.
Come in.
I hadn't realised you'd moved so close.
Yeah we just moved down.
Bec this is Pete, he's one of our neighbours from the old place.
You must be Mia's mum.
Yes I am.
Hi Pete.
Hi.
Hi.
Shall we?
Yeah do you want to sit here?
Thank you.
Alright so Mia was last seen at 11am.
So we're about to be unknown for about six or seven hours now.
I think so.
Something like that yeah.
Unfortunately I can't file an official report until someone's been missing for 24 hours.
Even if that person is a minor.
But I mean let's just gather up as much information as we can.
The more we know the better.
So Mia lives with mum.
Yeah but tends to spend what about a night a week here?
Often too.
About that yeah.
Alright was there any indication that she was planning on running away?
Not at all.
Really?
Has her behaviour changed recently?
Well she's a teenager so.
I mean I guess I might have been a bit distracted over the last few months.
We've been setting up a bed and breakfast out the back and I've been a bit lost in that.
We had a fight last night.
Okay what about?
Mia was tired and frustrated with her brother.
We have a one year old at home and she's had some trouble adjusting.
Okay you know it might be helpful to just go through any recent phone or text messages for Mia.
Yeah.
Sometimes that can be informative.
Yeah.
Alright thank you.
Oh sorry I shouldn't have sent that giffy little fat kid falling over.
It's just funny.
I mean not our fat little fella is just how hard he hits the ground.
Not even that really.
It's just that angle.
Thank you.
I wasn't kidding about the fighting.
Can I just confirm these messages are they from you or Mia?
Yeah that's me.
I don't usually swear it's just that she wouldn't stop playing the violin.
She was doing it to annoy me.
Heather you also have contact with Mia?
Yeah just a bit.
Okay.
There are about three message threads on it.
Sorry four.
Sorry what's a witch's tit?
Oh just a little in joke.
It's just a nickname for a mean girl at Mia's school.
Who?
Oh well I can't remember a real name.
Look I'm sorry if it sounds inappropriate.
It does sound inappropriate out loud in front of a cop.
But I was you know just trying to give her a weapon.
You know just a little verbal weapon to defend herself.
From what?
The witch's tit.
So does Mia chat much with the other housemates?
No.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Where's Ainsley?
She's just finishing dropping the drinks off.
The cops want to see your phone so delete everything you don't want them to see.
Okay so they've already made a selection from the ala carte breakfast menu.
I need to write it down before I forget.
Oi.
Take a nice big breath for me.
Why?
The cop is people telly.
I can give you Sienna's mum's number.
That would be great.
Thank you.
And then.
So Pete do you remember Ains?
Yes.
And Simo.
Yeah I think so.
Yeah.
Old mate events.
Yeah since we're kids and we're also business partners and I've been romantically involved
with Ainsley for four months and nine days now.
Ah okay.
Also Mia's godfather.
You're not mate?
Yeah but if anything happened to her uncle Joey.
Well that's a conversation.
Yeah your phone's out of charge.
Oh sorry that bloody battery on that.
I'd be curious to know if you've had any direct contact with Mia.
What without you?
No that'd be a bit weird.
Harry.
I've only had the one brief exchange with her.
Um I was trying to organise a whole Christmas in July thing and I thought out of everyone
you know she'd be into it but no she wasn't keen.
Mia and I do have a couple of messages.
It's about pop stars mostly.
Taylor Swift and a few about Harry Styles.
No time.
So what happens now?
I suggest you go home and see if there's anything missing from Mia's room.
Look I'll be in contact.
Guys any questions or if you think of anything that might be helpful even if you're not sure
just please give me a call.
Yeah.
So good to see you.
You too.
You look great.
So do you.
Where's Liz?
Oh she's in Cambridge doing her masters.
She's coming back to visit actually.
She said you'd met someone special.
Oh.
Said he was so handsome she found it hard to look at him.
Yeah he was handsome but that's over now.
Oh I'm sorry.
Yeah so was I.
Not just because he was so handsome but more because he dumped me out of nowhere and I
don't know why.
You know I thought I was punching up but it turns out I was punching down.
Or punches were thrown anyway but I lost.
Harry I'm so sorry.
I, I
You go.
Yeah.
I'll be in touch.
Have you been speaking to Pete Portelli and not telling me?
Yeah and it was literally one message in March.
He said miss you guys great to see Harry looking so well.
How is he?
Okay and then what did you say?
Um he's great.
Has a new boyfriend so handsome it's hard to maintain eye contact.
And then what?
Nothing that's it.
Well I'm just, I'm staggered that you withheld this information.
What was early days with Xavier?
It would have been too loaded.
Is he still with his boyfriend?
I don't know.
Harry could you please tell me about Gerry and Sam?
Have they arrived?
Has anyone you know insulted them?
I think we should dig into that later.
Dig into what?
No nothing.
They're here.
They're fine.
What do you mean?
I'll call you back at 9pm your time.
No Harry.
I promise I'm sorry.
I promise.
Don't hang up.
When the sun set that night and Mia wasn't home that was the worst feeling I've had
in my life.
I just charged out into the world so desperate to find her and no idea where to start.
I realize I just witnessed that with my own eyes.
Ah!
Oh, Jesus.
Hey.
Oh, Mia.
Oh, darling, I got you.
It's okay.
Oh, it's okay.
What the hell is going on?
I got you.
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
It's okay.
It's okay.
That's it.
Shh.
I'm so, so sorry.
That's Ben's daughter, Mia.
She's usually very polite and a lot quieter than that.
This has never happened before.
Can I get you a chamomile tea?
No, no, we're fine.
Something stronger, a whiskey or a mild sedative.
Just sing out if you need any.
Okay, come inside and let's call your dad, yeah?
Can I stay?
Well, of course you can.
You're not just alone.
I wanna live here.
Come inside.
Come on.
Yeah, scared the hell out of me.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
I've never been that scared in my life.
What about when you were in jail?
Hey, you're in the shit.
Right, so don't joke around.
Where the hell were you?
I won't tell your mum.
Yes, you will.
Yeah, of course I will.
She's beside herself.
Good.
Good, yeah, all right.
Well, it's disappointing.
Because I actually thought you were smarter than that, man.
I was Eliza's.
Hey, which one's she?
She's a friend of mine.
So you were safe.
Are you calling Mum?
What are you ringing?
I don't wanna talk to her.
Oh, I don't care.
Yeah, well, tell her I'm not coming home.
What?
Heather said I could live here.
What?
You didn't quite say that.
Hang on, just back it up a sec.
Why?
Just tell me why don't you wanna go home?
It's not my home.
It was just about the baby.
Yes, I hate its guts.
He ruins everything and he's not even that cute.
Yeah, well, that's how you're supposed to feel about brothers.
You start off hating them over time,
you learn to ignore them and then they go away.
Hey, Richard, too.
So selfish and annoying.
Mum always sticks up for him.
Have you heard anything to it?
Come on, come with me.
So help me God, I'm going to kill her.
Can you put her on?
She, the thing is she doesn't feel ready to talk to you.
What?
I think she's just giving herself a bit of a scare
and she wants to crash here tonight, if that's all right.
What else did she say?
Not much, I mean, I caught you straight away.
All I know is she went to her mate's place and she's okay.
It's not your fault, Bec.
You don't know that.
Jeez.
Look, the good news is you handled it better than most.
Better than me.
Shit.
True shit.
First time Timmy came home, I screamed so loud
the neighbour from two blocks away called the cops on me.
That's when I started internalising.
Oh, Bec.
How's she holding up?
She's going to come round there in the morning.
Oh, man.
Should I make Mia tell her about wanting to move in here?
Look, it's going to hurt either way.
If it was me and I had a teenager and a one-year-old,
I'm at the softest landing.
Right now, I reckon that's you.
Maybe you should go over there.
It's a bit late.
She won't be sleeping anytime soon.
What are you doing?
Just thought maybe we could have a bit of a chat.
Go grab a drink.
I can't leave the house, Ben.
The baby's asleep and Richard's away.
Come in.
Sure.
Come in.
Black tea?
Great.
Thanks.
Have you got any pot on you?
What?
No.
No?
Why?
What are you talking about?
I haven't had a smoke since before I went inside.
You know that.
I know that.
I know.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I asked.
I appreciate the apology.
I could make a phone call.
No.
Oh, mate, I had no idea all this shit was happening with Mia.
I just don't know how I could be so clueless.
But I want you to know that I'm here this time.
I'm here because I know you're here.
Because you've done such an amazing job with her.
You know, and you've done it on your own for so long now.
I don't know.
Maybe it is time for me to really step it up.
Maybe she could come and stay at my place for a little while.
That was Mia's idea, wasn't it?
Yeah, but I've been thinking about it, and I reckon it'll lead us straight back to you.
Just hear me out.
Like, right now, I'm the fun dad.
And I've had that privilege most of her life thanks to you.
But now it's my turn to be the arsehole.
Oh, not
Yeah, arsehole.
I mean, like, the the strict one.
I'm telling you, a couple of days at mine,
she'll be begging you to let her come home.
I've fucked up.
No, you haven't.
I have in so many ways for so many years,
and I have got no idea of how to fix it.
No, Bec, nothing's broken.
Everything's broken.
I'm broken. Richard and I are
Oh
I'm alone, and I'm exhausted, and I'm never alone,
and I don't sleep, and my kids don't like me.
I am failing on every front.
I I don't even work full-time.
It's all right.
If they'd listened to you
You'll be all right, Bec.
And, um, Mia will be all right, too,
cos I'll make sure of it.
All right, then.
Thank you.
It's all right.
Bec
Bec
Bec
Oh!
It's OK.
She's gone. Check on him.
Hey, Phil.
Mate.
Yeah.
Uh
No idea.
Where you been?
Just driving around.
What are you doing out here in the dark by yourself?
Oh, just
Ains had a bit of trouble sleeping with me in the bed,
so hatched a cunning plan to give her a break from the old snorkel.
The snorting?
Yeah, I just pretend to go to sleep.
I wait till she falls asleep,
then come grab a kip on the couch for a few hours
and jump back into bed before she wakes up.
How's that working out for you?
It's a bit in and miss.
I fell asleep at the traffic lights the other day.
It's no good, mate.
I was gonna grab a chair.
How is she?
Uh, she's a bit up and down.
She's giving herself a pretty hard time.
She's been in a lot of pain lately.
She's been in a lot of pain.
She's giving herself a pretty hard time.
Of course she is.
I might recharge her in the morning,
see if there's anything I can do to help.
Or would that be weird?
It might be, yeah, just right now.
Not many blokes that have the balls to turn up for their ex
just the way you turned up tonight.
I'm sorry.
Oh, shh.
Sorry.
Make her a cyclist.
Is she that close?
She's wall red and paper thin.
I like it.
I don't know if I can.
It's okay.
Oh.
Sorry.
Look, I might not be a godfather,
but I still feel a duty of care.
At the same time, I don't want to let you down.
I love you.
Can I just trouble you to pass me the baking paper, please?
Yes, Chef.
Just the vinegar, if you don't mind.
Yes, Chef.
Morning.
Morning.
Morning.
Hey, where's Mia?
She's not up yet?
Oh, no, no, no.
She's dead to the world.
Liz was just wanting to be dialed in
so we can talk through the next steps for,
with Gerry and Sam, you know, after the disturbance.
Is she on the line?
Of course I am.
I'm just, I'm going to suggest that someone takes minutes
for this meeting because I'm going to want to refer back to them.
Ainsley?
Why me?
Because I'm a girl.
What am I?
Unreliable.
Ainsley's the only one whose handwriting I remotely trust.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
I've been thinking and knowing Gerry,
I think we should compile a dot-pointed list of reparations
to be printed out, put under her door,
then she can read them in her own time and respond in her own way.
And first up, obviously, I'll get Mia to go and apologise?
No, no, they should not cite her again.
Um, do we offer them a refund on last night?
I'm thinking both nights.
I could show if we drive them out to the airport.
In what vehicle?
I just see it.
Let's keep workshopping.
Would it be weird if I offered them a relaxing massage, free of charge?
I do have a remedial certificate.
It's not laminated, but, um, I could get it laminated.
Let's just steer clear of anything physical for now.
Ains, what's your gut saying?
I mean, I know Five Stars is probably off the table,
but do you reckon we're still in with a shot at three or three and a half?
I think the most we can hope for is just nothing.
Best-case scenario, they don't leave a rating at all,
so there's no record.
I'll go type up a letter,
and then I'll deliver it with this amazing complimentary breakfast.
I can do that.
No, it's fine.
Yeah, but come on, it's my kid.
But, Ben, I would feel more comfortable
if Ainsley took the lead on this one.
You know, she knows property,
and though it's not from lack of trying,
you have dropped the ball on this one.
Hang on, hang on.
His kid went missing, and then he was out all night
consoling his destroyed ex-wife.
Just give him a break.
Stuart's just going to bed, so I can't take any more calls,
but just message me all updates.
Of course.
If you didn't notice him well,
you'd assume little details had passed him by.
You OK?
Yeah, sorry, I just realised I've got to leave now, so
You said we had all morning.
Yeah, but just with the wind overnight,
I should probably just check on the tiles.
They never did.
Simo.
Yeah, morning.
Sorry, I've just got to
Yeah.
Hi, it's Mia. I'll leave a message.
Mia, it's Mum. I'm out in the front.
Can you come out, please?
Morning.
Come in.
Look, I just need to say a few things,
and I know that might be weird, and I'm sorry if it is,
but it's just who I am.
First of all, I want you to know
that I think you're an incredible mother.
If Mia's given you the impression that Ben's a better parent,
then I just want to say he is not a patch on you.
And I say that to his face. He agrees with me.
Mia is a crazy smart, self-aware teenage girl
who has no trouble asking for what she wants,
and that in itself is a fucking miracle.
Rebecca!
Here you are.
Oh, how good's this?
Finally.
Um, Mia's out there.
She's up. She's out there.
Have you had breakfast?
Not yet, no.
I'm asking you.
Oh, no.
Oh, no, I'm fine. I'm fine, thanks. Yeah.
You haven't had breakfast?
No.
You don't want to?
No, no, I'm good.
Oh, yeah, good, sorry.
Do you want to come through and see it?
Yeah.
Yeah, come through and see Mia.
Okay.
Did you want a coffee or something?
No, no, I'm fine, thanks.
Okay.
Hey.
Hey, honey, we really need to talk about what's going on.
You got something to say?
Morning.
Good morning.
So, you see, the situation's been resolved with Mia.
Yes, yeah, thank God.
Just wanted to follow up in person.
Oh, that's really thoughtful of you.
I mean, I'm sure it's probably just standard procedure.
For the record, I should say that it is, but it's not.
And you know what?
Sorry I was so formal yesterday.
It was just a strange
No, no, I actually didn't think you were, so
Okay, good.
Shall we head inside or?
Yes, sorry, I'm
She's just down the back.
You know, it's tricky to talk to Mum and Dad,
and that can make you feel isolated.
But you're not alone, yeah?
Alright, this is for you.
Just some information.
Don't have to do anything with it.
Don't even have to read it, if you don't want to.
But I hope you do, yeah?
And it's okay to feel overwhelmed.
And it's okay to just ask for help.
Mia, is there anything you want to say, mate?
Thank you.
That's all you got?
It's fine, mate, it really is.
I'm happy to get two syllables, more than I get for mine.
You're what?
I, ah I have a little boy.
What?
Congratulations.
Oh, please, how old is he?
Ah, six months.
He's not even awake yet, you poor bastard.
Congratulations.
Thanks, Harry.
47, I can see you're on Foozan Avenue.
Yeah, copy that.
I'll see myself out.
Thanks again, mate.
Any time, cheers.
I've got to pick up your brother too, so we should get moving.
Do I have to go with her?
I'm right here, Mia.
And no, you can stay here for one more night.
Till Monday?
You have an early start on Monday, so no.
I'll miss you.
Is Heather fucking with me?
What?
How?
What do you mean?
Does she know?
No, she's
No, she knew.
Did you tell Simo?
I just don't understand how I misread the situation so profoundly.
I do.
He gave you love eyes and he tried to hide it with his serious police face.
The only way he could have been less available would have been if he was actually pregnant
himself.
Sorry, there was a lot wrong with that sentence.
I don't know where it came from.
How do we know he's not a single dad?
He's not single.
How do you know?
He had a boyfriend.
Two years ago.
If you're checking Instagram, you're not gonna find anything.
He's a cop.
He doesn't post.
Would it be a deal breaker for you if he was a single dad?
I don't know.
I don't think so.
I've always secretly fantasised about dating a man with kids.
Is that related to The Sound of Music?
It totally is.
I watched that movie a lot as a child.
I just think I'd be a really amazing stepfather.
You would be.
You would too, be an amazing stepfather.
Maybe.
You really need to find out what the situation is.
I really do.
I need my help.
I really don't.
Please don't help me.
What's going on?
Look.
Such a classy move to iron that newspaper.
Yeah, it was Simo's idea.
Yeah, but it's still there, Ben.
Yeah, with the breakfast and the lunch.
I mean, do we even want them eating the breakfast now?
Absolutely not.
So I'm gonna go up.
At the very least.
Should I just go knock on the door?
I'm gonna say no, just on the off chance that they've lost consciousness.
You thinking it's better if we don't wake them up a second time?
I am thinking that, yeah.
Yeah, I'm with you.
You know, we need to put some sort of monitor in there for this kind of scenario.
That's illegal.
No, not dodgy.
No visuals.
I mean, like a baby monitor.
Still very illegal.
Yeah?
Maybe we aim for a gentle, soto knock.
Carefully calibrated.
What are you doing?
Tell her.
Tell her not to come.
I'm just housekeeping.
I'm not telling Liz again.
They checked out at 9.50 a.m. and they've canceled their second night.
They're not getting their deposit back.
I'd say we need to contact them.
I'd say it's a phone call.
I can do it if you like.
No, no, I've figured I'd rip in anyone.
It should be me.
Hello.
Jezza, it's Ben from the B&B.
I won't keep you long.
Just noting that you've already checked out.
I just wanted to see how you found your stay.
Ben, it was the worst accommodation experience we've ever had.
Right.
Well, that surprised me.
That's surprising.
Is it?
We had an intruder in our bed.
I can imagine more restful sleeps in actual war zones.
Put it on speaker.
No, look, that makes sense.
Just before I let you go, could I ask if you'd be likely to recommend us to your family
and all friends?
Only as a cruel joke.
Right.
But Liz is an old friend and I know that room is helping to fund her degree, so
Five stars.
They've just left a five star review.
What did they say?
They just said their plans changed, but they loved the informal vibe, the depth, the detail,
and they'll be sure to recommend us to any of their friends coming our way in the future.
Another lie.
Sad part is I was pretty sure I was getting better at it.
I'll be on my way, guys.
Hey, mate.
Hey.
Just the other night, look, I did go over to Becca's and we did chat, but I
How many times?
Just once.
I swear to God.
For fuck's sake.
Yeah, it probably sounds like bullshit, but it was like I wasn't even there.
I mean, obviously I was there physically.
I'm not saying I'm not responsible.
Of course I am, and I feel sick about it.
I just didn't know how to stop it.
You started in the first place, mate.
I guess an head doesn't know.
There's no reason to tell them, mate.
It was just panic and stress, and when we were done, we both knew it should never have
happened, and it'll never happen again.
Please, don't tell Ella.
Or Ainsley.
Mate, mate, just for me, for now, just bury it.
Just put it in a box.
Put the box in the ground.
Concrete it in.
Forget about it.
Next time on Five Bedrooms
Look at you.
I miss you all so much.
I don't even have words.
How do you know what I'm ready for?
Harry, I've known Geri for 20 years.
You've met her a handful of times.
I just really want to see you.
Sorry, honey, I just can't.
Is there someone else?
What?
Are you cheating on her?
Me?
Every day, it's getting harder.
Yeah, but see how it'll get easier.
I thought Bec and I were in a good place.
I haven't offended her, have I?
A bit jumpy.