Impractical Jokers (2017) s03e01 Episode Script
Look Out Below
Narrator: WHAT'S GOT JOE DRAGGING BEHIND? ALMOST GOT IT.
DRAGGING BEHIND? ALMOST GOT IT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ALMOST GOT IT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ SIGHS .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ SIGHS .]
Narrator: WHAT DID SAL DO TO [ SIGHS .]
Narrator: WHAT DID SAL DO TO DESERVE THIS? Narrator: WHAT DID SAL DO TO DESERVE THIS? YOU SON OF A BITCH.
DESERVE THIS? YOU SON OF A BITCH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU SON OF A BITCH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
Narrator: AND WILL TONIGHT'S [ LAUGHTER .]
Narrator: AND WILL TONIGHT'S BIG LOSER SURVIVE THIS? Narrator: AND WILL TONIGHT'S BIG LOSER SURVIVE THIS? NO! BIG LOSER SURVIVE THIS? NO! AAH! AAH! OH, MY [ TIRES SCREECH .]
PREPARE FOR SOMETHING PREPARE FOR SOMETHING AMAZING.
AMAZING.
[ HORN HONKS .]
[ HORN HONKS .]
HEY, MUSTACHE, WHAT'S UP? HEY, MUSTACHE, WHAT'S UP? [ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
I WANT MY MOMMY! I WANT MY MOMMY! [ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU! I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU! LARRY! LARRY! [ LAUGHS .]
[ LAUGHS .]
[ LAUGHS .]
HOP TO IT, FELLAS.
WE'RE AT THE BORGATA, WORKING AS BELLHOPS.
WE'RE AT THE BORGATA, WORKING AS BELLHOPS.
WE'LL HAVE TO BRING GUESTS TO BELLHOPS.
WE'LL HAVE TO BRING GUESTS TO THE ROOMS AND GET THEM SETTLED WE'LL HAVE TO BRING GUESTS TO THE ROOMS AND GET THEM SETTLED IN, ALL WHILE DOING AND SAYING THE ROOMS AND GET THEM SETTLED IN, ALL WHILE DOING AND SAYING WHAT THE OTHER GUYS TELL US.
IN, ALL WHILE DOING AND SAYING WHAT THE OTHER GUYS TELL US.
WHEN WE'RE FINISHED, WE'RE WHEN WE'RE FINISHED, WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO TRY AND GET A TIP.
IF YOU CAN'T GET A TIP, YOU LOSE.
LOSE.
WARM UP, BOYS.
WARM UP, BOYS.
[ ALL GROANING .]
HERE HE COMES.
SO, COME ON IN.
SO, COME ON IN.
SO, THIS IS THE SUITE.
SO, THIS IS THE SUITE.
YOU GOT YOUR COUCHES OVER HERE.
YOU GOT YOUR COUCHES OVER HERE.
YEAH.
YEAH.
THE TV CHANNELS WITH THE TV CHANNELS WITH EVERYTHING THERE.
EVERYTHING THERE.
"ARE YOU MAKING LOVE THIS "ARE YOU MAKING LOVE THIS EVENING?" [ LAUGHTER .]
EVENING?" [ LAUGHTER .]
DO YOU PLAN ON MAKING LOVE [ LAUGHTER .]
DO YOU PLAN ON MAKING LOVE THIS EVENING OR DO YOU PLAN ON MAKING LOVE THIS EVENING OR [ LAUGHTER .]
THIS EVENING OR [ LAUGHTER .]
DEFINITELY.
OKAY, SO [ LAUGHTER .]
DEFINITELY.
OKAY, SO "AS YOU CAN SEE, THE CARPET DEFINITELY.
OKAY, SO "AS YOU CAN SEE, THE CARPET MATCHES THE DRAPES.
" "AS YOU CAN SEE, THE CARPET MATCHES THE DRAPES.
" AND AS YOU CAN TELL, THE MATCHES THE DRAPES.
" AND AS YOU CAN TELL, THE CARPET MATCHES THE DRAPES.
AND AS YOU CAN TELL, THE CARPET MATCHES THE DRAPES.
[ LAUGHTER .]
CARPET MATCHES THE DRAPES.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HE POINTED AT HER.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HE POINTED AT HER.
WELL, NOBODY TOLD YOU TO HE POINTED AT HER.
WELL, NOBODY TOLD YOU TO POINT AT HER.
WELL, NOBODY TOLD YOU TO POINT AT HER.
NOBODY SAID THAT! POINT AT HER.
NOBODY SAID THAT! YEAH, SO, AND NOBODY SAID THAT! YEAH, SO, AND "HERE'S SOMETHING I LOVE TO YEAH, SO, AND "HERE'S SOMETHING I LOVE TO DO.
" "HERE'S SOMETHING I LOVE TO DO.
" HERE'S SOMETHING I LOVE DO AT DO.
" HERE'S SOMETHING I LOVE DO AT THIS PLACE IS HERE'S SOMETHING I LOVE DO AT THIS PLACE IS JUST MOON OUT THE WINDOW.
THIS PLACE IS JUST MOON OUT THE WINDOW.
[ LAUGHTER .]
JUST MOON OUT THE WINDOW.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ SIGHS .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ SIGHS .]
DROP YOUR PANTS.
[ SIGHS .]
DROP YOUR PANTS.
[ LAUGHS .]
DROP YOUR PANTS.
[ LAUGHS .]
NOBODY SEES THAT.
[ LAUGHS .]
NOBODY SEES THAT.
OH, MY GOD! NOBODY SEES THAT.
OH, MY GOD! RIGHT? OH, MY GOD! RIGHT? YEAH.
RIGHT? YEAH.
"I'M DEALING WITH SOMETHING YEAH.
"I'M DEALING WITH SOMETHING BIG HERE.
" "I'M DEALING WITH SOMETHING BIG HERE.
" I'M DEALING WITH A PROBLEM BIG HERE.
" I'M DEALING WITH A PROBLEM HERE.
I'M DEALING WITH A PROBLEM HERE.
JUST ITCH YOUR BUTT, BUDDY.
HERE.
JUST ITCH YOUR BUTT, BUDDY.
DRAG YOUR ASS AROUND THE JUST ITCH YOUR BUTT, BUDDY.
DRAG YOUR ASS AROUND THE FLOOR LIKE A CHIHUAHUA.
DRAG YOUR ASS AROUND THE FLOOR LIKE A CHIHUAHUA.
[ LAUGHTER .]
FLOOR LIKE A CHIHUAHUA.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OHH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OHH.
UH.
[ LAUGHS .]
OHH.
UH.
[ LAUGHS .]
GIVE ME A MINUTE.
UH.
[ LAUGHS .]
GIVE ME A MINUTE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
GIVE ME A MINUTE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ALMOST GOT IT.
THIS IS -- "I'VE -- I'VE ALMOST GOT IT.
" ALMOST GOT IT.
I'VE ALMOST GOT IT.
" ALMOST GOT IT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ALMOST GOT IT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
KEEP GOING, BUDDY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
KEEP GOING, BUDDY.
KEEP GOING AROUND THE ROOM.
KEEP GOING, BUDDY.
KEEP GOING AROUND THE ROOM.
IT'S DEFINITELY NOT BEDBUGS.
KEEP GOING AROUND THE ROOM.
IT'S DEFINITELY NOT BEDBUGS.
I MEAN, THIS PLACE IS TOP NOTCH.
IT'S DEFINITELY NOT BEDBUGS.
I MEAN, THIS PLACE IS TOP NOTCH.
YEAH.
I MEAN, THIS PLACE IS TOP NOTCH.
YEAH.
SO YEAH.
SO [ LAUGHTER .]
SO [ LAUGHTER .]
CAN I HAVE A TIP? [ LAUGHTER .]
CAN I HAVE A TIP? ALL RIGHT, WELL, THANK YOU VERY CAN I HAVE A TIP? ALL RIGHT, WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
ALL RIGHT, WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
NO TIP! MUCH.
NO TIP! HE DIDN'T GET A TIP.
HE DIDN'T GET A TIP.
I'LL SEE YOU GUYS LATER.
WOW! FAIL! [ BUZZER .]
[ BUZZER .]
Q, AS SOON AS YOU WALK IN, Q, AS SOON AS YOU WALK IN, ANNOUNCE TO THEM, "WELCOME TO ANNOUNCE TO THEM, "WELCOME TO YOUR FINAL RESTING PLACE.
" YOUR FINAL RESTING PLACE.
" THEY GOT THE MORTUARY SUITES.
THEY GOT THE MORTUARY SUITES.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
WELCOME TO YOUR FINAL RESTING WELCOME TO YOUR FINAL RESTING PLACE.
PLACE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
FOR NO REASON, FLUSH THE TOILET AND COME RIGHT BACK OUT.
FOR NO REASON, FLUSH THE TOILET AND COME RIGHT BACK OUT.
[ LAUGHS .]
TOILET AND COME RIGHT BACK OUT.
[ LAUGHS .]
[ TOILET FLUSHES .]
[ LAUGHS .]
[ TOILET FLUSHES .]
AND WALK RIGHT BACK OUT TO [ TOILET FLUSHES .]
AND WALK RIGHT BACK OUT TO THE LIVING ROOM.
AND WALK RIGHT BACK OUT TO THE LIVING ROOM.
PASS THEM.
THE LIVING ROOM.
PASS THEM.
[ LAUGHTER .]
PASS THEM.
[ LAUGHTER .]
"THE ROOM IS TOTALLY [ LAUGHTER .]
"THE ROOM IS TOTALLY SOUNDPROOF.
" "THE ROOM IS TOTALLY SOUNDPROOF.
" THE ROOM IS TOTALLY SOUNDPROOF.
" THE ROOM IS TOTALLY SOUNDPROOF.
THE ROOM IS TOTALLY SOUNDPROOF.
"SO YOU CAN SCREAM.
" SOUNDPROOF.
"SO YOU CAN SCREAM.
" SO YOU COULD -- YOU COULD "SO YOU CAN SCREAM.
" SO YOU COULD -- YOU COULD SCREAM.
SO YOU COULD -- YOU COULD SCREAM.
DEMONSTRATE IT, Q.
SCREAM.
DEMONSTRATE IT, Q.
NOT ME! HELP! DEMONSTRATE IT, Q.
NOT ME! HELP! SEND HELP! NOT ME! HELP! SEND HELP! HELP! HELP! SEND HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP IS NEVER GONNA COME.
HELP! HELP! HELP IS NEVER GONNA COME.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HELP IS NEVER GONNA COME.
[ LAUGHTER .]
UNBUTTON YOUR TOP BUTTONS, [ LAUGHTER .]
UNBUTTON YOUR TOP BUTTONS, STARE AT THEM, AND SAY, "WE UNBUTTON YOUR TOP BUTTONS, STARE AT THEM, AND SAY, "WE GONNA DO THIS OR" STARE AT THEM, AND SAY, "WE GONNA DO THIS OR" OHO! OH, MY GOD! GONNA DO THIS OR" OHO! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OHO! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
OH, MY GOD! OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
WELL OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
WELL SO, WE -- ARE WE -- WELL SO, WE -- ARE WE -- WE GONNA DO THIS? SO, WE -- ARE WE -- WE GONNA DO THIS? [ LAUGHTER .]
WE GONNA DO THIS? [ LAUGHTER .]
OH, MY GOD! [ LAUGHTER .]
OH, MY GOD! "ENJOY THE BORGATA.
" OH, MY GOD! "ENJOY THE BORGATA.
" I GUESS I'M DONE HERE.
"ENJOY THE BORGATA.
" I GUESS I'M DONE HERE.
ENJOY THE BORGATA.
I GUESS I'M DONE HERE.
ENJOY THE BORGATA.
[ CLEARS THROAT, SNIFFLES .]
ENJOY THE BORGATA.
[ CLEARS THROAT, SNIFFLES .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ CLEARS THROAT, SNIFFLES .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH! [ LAUGHTER .]
OH! OH! OH! OH! "LOVE YOU.
" OH! "LOVE YOU.
" THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
[ DING! .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
LOOK AT THIS LITTLE COUPLE LOOK AT THIS LITTLE COUPLE OUT FOR A NICE NIGHT.
OUT FOR A NICE NIGHT.
OH.
OH.
ALL RIGHT.
THERE WE GO.
ALL RIGHT.
THERE WE GO.
COME ON IN.
COME ON IN.
LOVE IN THE AIR, AND THEN LOVE IN THE AIR, AND THEN THERE'S MURRAY.
THERE'S MURRAY.
THE BELLHOP IS LOCATED AT THE BELLHOP IS LOCATED AT EXTENSION 76, SO PLEASE HELP EXTENSION 76, SO PLEASE HELP YOURSELF.
YOURSELF.
MURR, UNPACK THEIR BAGS FOR MURR, UNPACK THEIR BAGS FOR THEM.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THEM.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU'VE GOT A PLETHORA OF [ LAUGHTER .]
YOU'VE GOT A PLETHORA OF OPTIONS HERE TO UNPACK.
YOU'VE GOT A PLETHORA OF OPTIONS HERE TO UNPACK.
KEEP ANNOUNCING WHAT YOU'RE OPTIONS HERE TO UNPACK.
KEEP ANNOUNCING WHAT YOU'RE PULLING OUT OF THE BAG AS YOU KEEP ANNOUNCING WHAT YOU'RE PULLING OUT OF THE BAG AS YOU PULL IT OUT.
PULLING OUT OF THE BAG AS YOU PULL IT OUT.
SO THEY KNOW WHAT YOU'RE PULL IT OUT.
SO THEY KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TOUCHING.
SO THEY KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TOUCHING.
YEAH.
TOUCHING.
YEAH.
DRESS SOCKS.
YEAH.
DRESS SOCKS.
LET'S PUT THE SHOES IN THERE -- DRESS SOCKS.
LET'S PUT THE SHOES IN THERE -- THE BRA.
LET'S PUT THE SHOES IN THERE -- THE BRA.
THE BRA! THE BRA! THE BRA.
THE BRA! THE BRA! [ LAUGHTER .]
THE BRA! THE BRA! [ LAUGHTER .]
THE PANTIES.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THE PANTIES.
FEMININE PRODUCTS.
SPANX.
THE PANTIES.
FEMININE PRODUCTS.
SPANX.
HE'S TOUCHING HER FEMININE PRODUCTS.
SPANX.
HE'S TOUCHING HER UNMENTIONABLES.
HE'S TOUCHING HER UNMENTIONABLES.
UNMENTIONABLES.
UNMENTIONABLES.
UNMENTIONABLES.
GROSS.
UNMENTIONABLES.
GROSS.
THERE'S THE -- THE TEDDY AND GROSS.
THERE'S THE -- THE TEDDY AND THE LINGERIE.
THERE'S THE -- THE TEDDY AND THE LINGERIE.
OHH! THE LINGERIE.
OHH! [ LAUGHS .]
OHH! [ LAUGHS .]
OH [ LAUGHS .]
OH OH, MY GOD.
OH OH, MY GOD.
MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD.
MY GOD.
ONE OF THE LIGHT BULBS ABOVE MY GOD.
ONE OF THE LIGHT BULBS ABOVE THE BED IS OUT.
ONE OF THE LIGHT BULBS ABOVE THE BED IS OUT.
YOU WANT TO ADJUST THAT? THE BED IS OUT.
YOU WANT TO ADJUST THAT? THE LIGHT BULB IS YOU WANT TO ADJUST THAT? THE LIGHT BULB IS YEAH, JUST STEP ON THE BED, THE LIGHT BULB IS YEAH, JUST STEP ON THE BED, RIGHT ON -- WITH THE PILLOWS, YEAH, JUST STEP ON THE BED, RIGHT ON -- WITH THE PILLOWS, YEAH.
RIGHT ON -- WITH THE PILLOWS, YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THIS ONE'S [ LAUGHTER .]
THIS ONE'S THESE ARE FINE.
THIS ONE'S THESE ARE FINE.
"YOU KNOW, A LOT OF MAGIC THESE ARE FINE.
"YOU KNOW, A LOT OF MAGIC HAPPENS IN THIS ROOM.
" "YOU KNOW, A LOT OF MAGIC HAPPENS IN THIS ROOM.
" UH, A LOT OF -- A LOT OF HAPPENS IN THIS ROOM.
" UH, A LOT OF -- A LOT OF MAGIC HAPPENS IN THIS ROOM, UH, A LOT OF -- A LOT OF MAGIC HAPPENS IN THIS ROOM, SO MAGIC HAPPENS IN THIS ROOM, SO WE KEEP A LOT OF THE MAGICIAN SO WE KEEP A LOT OF THE MAGICIAN ACTS IN THIS ROOM.
WE KEEP A LOT OF THE MAGICIAN ACTS IN THIS ROOM.
"AND THEY GET HOOKERS.
" ACTS IN THIS ROOM.
"AND THEY GET HOOKERS.
" [ LAUGHTER .]
"AND THEY GET HOOKERS.
" [ LAUGHTER .]
AND THEY GET HOOKERS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
AND THEY GET HOOKERS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
AND THEY GET HOOKERS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
SO, ABRACADABRA, I GUESS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
SO, ABRACADABRA, I GUESS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
SO, ABRACADABRA, I GUESS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
OH, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
OH, THANK YOU.
THAT'S SO GENEROUS.
OH, THANK YOU.
THAT'S SO GENEROUS.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THAT'S SO GENEROUS.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
Both: OHH! THANK YOU SO MUCH.
Both: OHH! APPRECIATE IT.
THANK YOU.
APPRECIATE IT.
THANK YOU.
HAVE A GREAT DAY, FOLKS.
[ DING! .]
OH, LOOK AT THIS HAPPY OH, LOOK AT THIS HAPPY COUPLE.
COUPLE.
AH, HERE WE GO.
AH, HERE WE GO.
JUST OUT TO ENJOY A LITTLE JUST OUT TO ENJOY A LITTLE VACATION TIME TOGETHER.
VACATION TIME TOGETHER.
MAYBE IT'S THEIR HONEYMOON.
MAYBE IT'S THEIR HONEYMOON.
WHO KNOWS? WHO KNOWS? YOU DON'T KNOW.
YOU DON'T KNOW.
THERE'S A MINI-BAR.
THERE'S A MINI-BAR.
AND HERE YOU HAVE THE MASTER AND HERE YOU HAVE THE MASTER BATH.
BATH.
SAL, JUST KEEP BRINGING EXTRA SAL, JUST KEEP BRINGING EXTRA TOWELS.
LET ME GIVE YOU A COUPLE OF TOWELS.
LET ME GIVE YOU A COUPLE OF EXTRA TOWELS.
LET ME GIVE YOU A COUPLE OF EXTRA TOWELS.
THAT'S THE -- THE NEW HOTEL, EXTRA TOWELS.
THAT'S THE -- THE NEW HOTEL, WITH THE -- THE CIRCLE ON TOP.
THAT'S THE -- THE NEW HOTEL, WITH THE -- THE CIRCLE ON TOP.
"THEY HAVE GREAT PORN OVER WITH THE -- THE CIRCLE ON TOP.
"THEY HAVE GREAT PORN OVER THERE.
" "THEY HAVE GREAT PORN OVER THERE.
" [ CHUCKLES .]
THERE.
" [ CHUCKLES .]
THEY HAVE SOME CRAZY PORN [ CHUCKLES .]
THEY HAVE SOME CRAZY PORN OPTIONS OVER THERE IF YOU -- IF THEY HAVE SOME CRAZY PORN OPTIONS OVER THERE IF YOU -- IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN THAT.
OPTIONS OVER THERE IF YOU -- IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN THAT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU'RE INTERESTED IN THAT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ALL RIGHT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ALL RIGHT.
JUST KEEP BRINGING TOWELS.
ALL RIGHT.
JUST KEEP BRINGING TOWELS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ONE LAST THING -- GO IN THE BATHROOM AND TAKE A SHOWER.
[ LAUGHTER .]
BATHROOM AND TAKE A SHOWER.
[ LAUGHTER .]
AND THEN JUST GIVE ME ONE [ LAUGHTER .]
AND THEN JUST GIVE ME ONE SPLIT SECOND HERE, GUYS.
AND THEN JUST GIVE ME ONE SPLIT SECOND HERE, GUYS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF, WALK OUT, GRAB A TOWEL, AND THEN WALK BACK IN.
OUT, GRAB A TOWEL, AND THEN WALK BACK IN.
YES, YES, YES, YES! BACK IN.
YES, YES, YES, YES! JUST ONE SEC.
YES, YES, YES, YES! JUST ONE SEC.
I JUST WANT TO GRAB ONE QUICK NO, NO.
I'M JUST FRESHENING.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE .]
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE .]
SHE FELL DOWN LAUGHING! AND SHE'S OUT! SHE FELL DOWN LAUGHING! AND SHE'S OUT! AND SHE'S ON THE FLOOR, AND SHE'S OUT! AND SHE'S ON THE FLOOR, LAUGHING.
AND SHE'S ON THE FLOOR, LAUGHING.
IT'S A SELL.
LAUGHING.
IT'S A SELL.
IT'S JUST A QUICK REFRESH.
IT'S A SELL.
IT'S JUST A QUICK REFRESH.
I'VE BEEN DOING A DOUBLE.
IT'S JUST A QUICK REFRESH.
I'VE BEEN DOING A DOUBLE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I'VE BEEN DOING A DOUBLE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
GET OUT THERE AND ASK FOR A [ LAUGHTER .]
GET OUT THERE AND ASK FOR A TIP.
GET OUT THERE AND ASK FOR A TIP.
WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN THERE? TIP.
WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN THERE? JUST -- I'VE BEEN UP AND DOWN WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN THERE? JUST -- I'VE BEEN UP AND DOWN ALL DAY.
JUST -- I'VE BEEN UP AND DOWN ALL DAY.
YEAH.
ALL DAY.
YEAH.
QUICK WASH-UP.
YEAH.
QUICK WASH-UP.
OH, OKAY.
QUICK WASH-UP.
OH, OKAY.
YEAH.
OH, OKAY.
YEAH.
SO, DO YOU -- THAT'S A TIP, YEAH.
SO, DO YOU -- THAT'S A TIP, THEN? SO, DO YOU -- THAT'S A TIP, THEN? YEAH.
THEN? YEAH.
OH, EXCELLENT.
THANK YOU.
YEAH.
OH, EXCELLENT.
THANK YOU.
All: AH! OH, EXCELLENT.
THANK YOU.
All: AH! A COUPLE BUCKS GOES A LONG All: AH! A COUPLE BUCKS GOES A LONG WAY WITH ME.
[ DING! .]
Narrator: JOE GOT Narrator: JOE GOT SHORTCHANGED, SO HE'S FIRST UP ON THE LOSER BOARD.
SHORTCHANGED, SO HE'S FIRST UP ON THE LOSER BOARD.
HOT DOG! ON THE LOSER BOARD.
HOT DOG! TODAY, WE'RE ON THE STREETS HOT DOG! TODAY, WE'RE ON THE STREETS OF NEW YORK CITY, MANNING THIS OF NEW YORK CITY, MANNING THIS HOT-DOG CART.
BUT, AS WE SERVE UP FRANKS TO THE PUBLIC, THE OTHER GUYS WILL THE PUBLIC, THE OTHER GUYS WILL BE TELLING US WHAT TO SAY AND BE TELLING US WHAT TO SAY AND DO.
DO.
IF YOU REFUSE, YOU LOSE.
IF YOU REFUSE, YOU LOSE.
THEN YOU WILL BE BOILED, THEN YOU WILL BE BOILED, SLATHERED IN RELISH, AND SERVED SLATHERED IN RELISH, AND SERVED UP ON A BUN.
UP ON A BUN.
SAL LOOKS PERFECTLY AT HOME SAL LOOKS PERFECTLY AT HOME SELLING HOT DOGS IN THE PARK.
SELLING HOT DOGS IN THE PARK.
RIGHT NOW -- HE LOOKS SO RIGHT NOW -- HE LOOKS SO NATURAL RIGHT NOW.
NATURAL RIGHT NOW.
SAL, SEE THE GUY DRINKING SAL, SEE THE GUY DRINKING FROM THE WATER FOUNTAIN? FROM THE WATER FOUNTAIN? OH, YEAH.
OH, YEAH.
GO GRAB HIS ASS WITH THE GO GRAB HIS ASS WITH THE TONGS.
TONGS.
OH, COME ON.
OH, COME ON.
GO GRAB HIS ASS WITH THE TONGS.
GO GRAB HIS ASS WITH THE TONGS.
HURRY.
TONGS.
HURRY.
OH, MY GOD! HURRY.
OH, MY GOD! [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
I'M SQUEEZING BUNS ALL DAY.
I CAN'T RESIST.
I'M SQUEEZING BUNS ALL DAY.
I CAN'T RESIST.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I CAN'T RESIST.
[ LAUGHTER .]
CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING? [ LAUGHTER .]
CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING? [ German accent .]
I'LL TAKE A CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING? [ German accent .]
I'LL TAKE A SPRITE.
[ German accent .]
I'LL TAKE A SPRITE.
YOU'LL TAKE A SPRITE? SPRITE.
YOU'LL TAKE A SPRITE? YEAH, SPRITE, PLEASE.
YOU'LL TAKE A SPRITE? YEAH, SPRITE, PLEASE.
WHERE ARE YOU FROM? YEAH, SPRITE, PLEASE.
WHERE ARE YOU FROM? I'M FROM GERMANY.
WHERE ARE YOU FROM? I'M FROM GERMANY.
OH, GERMANY, ALL RIGHT.
I'M FROM GERMANY.
OH, GERMANY, ALL RIGHT.
YEAH, YEAH.
OH, GERMANY, ALL RIGHT.
YEAH, YEAH.
"BOY, SPEAKING OF GERMANY" YEAH, YEAH.
"BOY, SPEAKING OF GERMANY" YOU KNOW, SPEAKING OF "BOY, SPEAKING OF GERMANY" YOU KNOW, SPEAKING OF GERMANY YOU KNOW, SPEAKING OF GERMANY "I JUST FOUND OUT TODAY GERMANY "I JUST FOUND OUT TODAY THAT I'M RELATED TO HITLER.
" "I JUST FOUND OUT TODAY THAT I'M RELATED TO HITLER.
" THERE IT IS -- THAT I'M RELATED TO HITLER.
" THERE IT IS -- THE HITLER JOKE -- THERE IT IS -- THE HITLER JOKE -- THE HITLER JOKE.
THE HITLER JOKE -- THE HITLER JOKE.
AH.
I JUST FOUND OUT TODAY -- THE HITLER JOKE.
AH.
I JUST FOUND OUT TODAY -- TODAY THAT I AM, UH, RELATED TO AH.
I JUST FOUND OUT TODAY -- TODAY THAT I AM, UH, RELATED TO THE FUEHRER THERE, THE TODAY THAT I AM, UH, RELATED TO THE FUEHRER THERE, THE HITLER.
THE FUEHRER THERE, THE HITLER.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HITLER.
[ LAUGHTER .]
WHAT? [ LAUGHTER .]
WHAT? YOU KNOW, HITLER.
HAVE A GREAT DAY, HON.
THANK YOU.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THANK YOU.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ALL RIGHT, SAL, MAKE THIS [ LAUGHTER .]
ALL RIGHT, SAL, MAKE THIS WHOLE HOT DOG, AND THEN JUST ALL RIGHT, SAL, MAKE THIS WHOLE HOT DOG, AND THEN JUST LAUNCH IT INTO THE PARK.
WHOLE HOT DOG, AND THEN JUST LAUNCH IT INTO THE PARK.
[ LAUGHTER .]
LAUNCH IT INTO THE PARK.
[ LAUGHTER .]
UH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
UH.
THROW THAT HOT DOG RIGHT INTO UH.
THROW THAT HOT DOG RIGHT INTO THE PARK.
THROW THAT HOT DOG RIGHT INTO THE PARK.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ALL RIGHT, SAL, MAKE THIS WHOLE HOT DOG, AND THEN JUST WHOLE HOT DOG, AND THEN JUST LAUNCH IT INTO THE PARK.
LAUNCH IT INTO THE PARK.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
UH.
UH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU SON OF A BITCH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU SON OF A BITCH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU SON OF A BITCH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YES.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YES.
YES.
YES.
YES.
NICE.
YES.
NICE.
[ LAUGHTER CONTINUES .]
[ LAUGHTER CONTINUES .]
[ DING! .]
WHAT'S UP? HOT DOG? YOU WANT A HOT DOG? YOU WANT A HOT DOG? I GET THE "HOT.
" I GET THE "HOT.
" WHY ARE THEY CALLED "DOGS"? WHY ARE THEY CALLED "DOGS"? WHAT'S UP? HOT DOG? WHAT'S UP? HOT DOG? YOU WA A HOT DOG? YOU WA A HOT DOG? WHY ISN'T IT CALLED A HOT WHY ISN'T IT CALLED A HOT PIG? PIG? RIGHT.
RIGHT.
IT'S PIGS IN A BLANKET.
IT'S PIGS IN A BLANKET.
IT'S PORK.
IT'S PORK.
I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW.
YOU HAVE GOOGLE.
ASK HIM.
ASK HIM? YOU HAVE GOOGLE.
ASK HIM.
ASK HIM? GOOGLE IS A MALE? ASK HIM? GOOGLE IS A MALE? WELL, IT KNOWS EVERYTHING.
GOOGLE IS A MALE? WELL, IT KNOWS EVERYTHING.
[ LAUGHTER .]
WELL, IT KNOWS EVERYTHING.
[ LAUGHTER .]
WHAT DO YOU WANT -- TWO HOT [ LAUGHTER .]
WHAT DO YOU WANT -- TWO HOT DOGS? WHAT DO YOU WANT -- TWO HOT DOGS? YEAH.
DOGS? YEAH.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME, BUD? YEAH.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME, BUD? WHAT'S YOUR NAME? WHAT'S YOUR NAME, BUD? WHAT'S YOUR NAME? MIKE.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME? MIKE.
MIKE.
MIKE.
MIKE.
YEAH.
MIKE.
YEAH.
WE PUT A MARKER IN BETWEEN YEAH.
WE PUT A MARKER IN BETWEEN THE BOXES THERE.
WE PUT A MARKER IN BETWEEN THE BOXES THERE.
LABEL THE BUN SO WE KNOW IT'S THE BOXES THERE.
LABEL THE BUN SO WE KNOW IT'S MIKE'S.
LABEL THE BUN SO WE KNOW IT'S MIKE'S.
OHH.
MIKE'S.
OHH.
YEAH.
OHH.
YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
THAT'S PERMANENT INK.
YELL, "MIKE!" THAT'S PERMANENT INK.
YELL, "MIKE!" JUST LIKE YOU'RE AT A COFFEE YELL, "MIKE!" JUST LIKE YOU'RE AT A COFFEE SHOP.
JUST LIKE YOU'RE AT A COFFEE SHOP.
MIKE! SHOP.
MIKE! [ LAUGHTER .]
MIKE! [ LAUGHTER .]
OH, YOU'RE MIKE? [ LAUGHTER .]
OH, YOU'RE MIKE? THERE YOU GO.
OH, YOU'RE MIKE? THERE YOU GO.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THERE YOU GO.
[ LAUGHTER .]
WHAT'S GOING ON, CHAMP? TWO WITH KETCHUP AND MUSTARD.
DUDE, THIS GUY'S UNDERCOVER.
YEAH, HE'S DEFINITELY AN DUDE, THIS GUY'S UNDERCOVER.
YEAH, HE'S DEFINITELY AN UNDERCOVER COP.
YEAH, HE'S DEFINITELY AN UNDERCOVER COP.
I THINK SO.
UNDERCOVER COP.
I THINK SO.
HE'S GOT TO TELL YOU IF HE'S I THINK SO.
HE'S GOT TO TELL YOU IF HE'S A COP.
HE'S GOT TO TELL YOU IF HE'S A COP.
HE'S GOT TO TELL YOU.
A COP.
HE'S GOT TO TELL YOU.
YEAH, EVERYONE KNOWS THAT.
HE'S GOT TO TELL YOU.
YEAH, EVERYONE KNOWS THAT.
YEAH, IT'S THE LAW.
YEAH, EVERYONE KNOWS THAT.
YEAH, IT'S THE LAW.
YOU KNOW, YOU GOT TO -- YOU YEAH, IT'S THE LAW.
YOU KNOW, YOU GOT TO -- YOU GOT TO TELL ME IF YOU'RE A COP.
YOU KNOW, YOU GOT TO -- YOU GOT TO TELL ME IF YOU'RE A COP.
[ LAUGHTER .]
"SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING A COP WOULD SAY.
" [ LAUGHTER .]
WOULD SAY.
" [ LAUGHTER .]
SAYING, "I'M AUSTRALIAN.
[ LAUGHTER .]
SAYING, "I'M AUSTRALIAN.
I CAN'T BE A COP," SOUNDS SAYING, "I'M AUSTRALIAN.
I CAN'T BE A COP," SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE WHAT A COP WOULD I CAN'T BE A COP," SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE WHAT A COP WOULD SAY.
EXACTLY LIKE WHAT A COP WOULD SAY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
VERY CAUTIOUSLY TRY TO SELL HIM DRUGS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HIM DRUGS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HOW MANY GRAMS OF MUSTARD DO [ LAUGHTER .]
HOW MANY GRAMS OF MUSTARD DO YOU WANT? HOW MANY GRAMS OF MUSTARD DO YOU WANT? [ LAUGHTER .]
YOU WANT? [ LAUGHTER .]
COLOMBIAN? COLOMBIAN? HERE YOU GO.
YOU'VE TAKEN THE SPECIAL HOT DOG, THE COLOMBIAN STUFF? DOG, THE COLOMBIAN STUFF? "OKAY, WELL, YOU'RE UNDER "OKAY, WELL, YOU'RE UNDER ARREST.
" YOU'RE UNDER ARREST, PAL.
ARREST.
" YOU'RE UNDER ARREST, PAL.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
WELCOME TO AMERICA, SCUMBAG.
[ DING! .]
$1 HOT DOGS, $1 HOT DOGS.
$1 HOT DOGS, $1 HOT DOGS.
[ WHISTLING .]
[ WHISTLING .]
HOW HAS HE NOT INSTAGRAMMED HOW HAS HE NOT INSTAGRAMMED THE PHOTO OF HIMSELF IN A THE PHOTO OF HIMSELF IN A HOT-DOG COSTUME YET? HOT-DOG COSTUME YET? I CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITH -- WITH I CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITH -- WITH THIS GUY WITHOUT, LIKE, HIM JUST THIS GUY WITHOUT, LIKE, HIM JUST TAKING A STUPID PHOTO OF HIM IN TAKING A STUPID PHOTO OF HIM IN A STUPID POSE.
A STUPID POSE.
PULL HIM UP ON SOCIAL MEDIA.
PULL HIM UP ON SOCIAL MEDIA.
YEAH, LET'S PULL UP SOME SOCIAL MEDIA.
YEAH, LET'S PULL UP SOME SOCIAL MEDIA.
MURR, YOU CAN ONLY TALK IN SOCIAL MEDIA.
MURR, YOU CAN ONLY TALK IN YOUR TWEETS.
MURR, YOU CAN ONLY TALK IN YOUR TWEETS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
COME ON, MAN.
[ BEEPS .]
"I JUICED THE [BLEEP.]
OUT OF "I JUICED THE [BLEEP.]
OUT OF FRUITS AND VEGETABLES TONIGHT FRUITS AND VEGETABLES TONIGHT WITH MY BRAND NEW JUICER.
WITH MY BRAND NEW JUICER.
SUCK IT, ASPARAGUS.
" SUCK IT, ASPARAGUS.
" [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE .]
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE .]
THAT'S WHAT HE WROTE?! THAT'S WHAT HE WROTE?! THAT'S HIS TWEET.
LET ME TELL YOU, MAN -- I THAT'S HIS TWEET.
LET ME TELL YOU, MAN -- I JUICED THE [BLEEP.]
OUT OF FRUITS LET ME TELL YOU, MAN -- I JUICED THE [BLEEP.]
OUT OF FRUITS AND VEGGIES LAST NIGHT WITH MY JUICED THE [BLEEP.]
OUT OF FRUITS AND VEGGIES LAST NIGHT WITH MY BRAND-NEW JUICER.
AND VEGGIES LAST NIGHT WITH MY BRAND-NEW JUICER.
SUCK IT, ASPARAGUS, RIGHT? BRAND-NEW JUICER.
SUCK IT, ASPARAGUS, RIGHT? "QUICK QUESTION FOR YOU.
" "QUICK QUESTION FOR YOU.
" QUICK QUESTION.
[ LAUGHTER .]
GO AHEAD.
GO AHEAD.
HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU BROKE HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU BROKE YOUR FINGER? YOUR FINGER? #IThinkIBrokeMyFinger.
#IThinkIBrokeMyFinger.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
#IThinkIBrokeMyFinger.
#IThinkIBrokeMyFinger.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING -- WHY AM I DOING HASHTAGS IN I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING -- WHY AM I DOING HASHTAGS IN PUBLIC, RIGHT? WHY AM I DOING HASHTAGS IN PUBLIC, RIGHT? THANK YOU, MAN.
PUBLIC, RIGHT? THANK YOU, MAN.
YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY.
THANK YOU, MAN.
YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY.
YOU [BLEEP.]
YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY.
YOU [BLEEP.]
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU [BLEEP.]
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH, HI, BUDDY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH, HI, BUDDY.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE MONEY.
OH, HI, BUDDY.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE MONEY.
WHAT IS THIS FOR? THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE MONEY.
WHAT IS THIS FOR? "A PRETZEL, PLEASE"? WHAT IS THIS FOR? "A PRETZEL, PLEASE"? THAT'S THE CUTEST KID.
"A PRETZEL, PLEASE"? THAT'S THE CUTEST KID.
"HE'S A SEXY LITTLE FELLA.
" THAT'S THE CUTEST KID.
"HE'S A SEXY LITTLE FELLA.
" OHH.
"HE'S A SEXY LITTLE FELLA.
" OHH.
OH, MY GOD.
OHH.
OH, MY GOD.
HE'S SUCH A CUTE KID.
OH, MY GOD.
HE'S SUCH A CUTE KID.
OHH, ARE YOU SERIOUS? HE'S SUCH A CUTE KID.
OHH, ARE YOU SERIOUS? YES, YES, YES.
OHH, ARE YOU SERIOUS? YES, YES, YES.
OH, MY GOD.
GUYS, NO.
YES, YES, YES.
OH, MY GOD.
GUYS, NO.
DO IT.
OH, MY GOD.
GUYS, NO.
DO IT.
YOU WANTED ONE SALTED DO IT.
YOU WANTED ONE SALTED PRETZEL? YOU WANTED ONE SALTED PRETZEL? YOU -- YOU'RE A SEXY LITTLE PRETZEL? YOU -- YOU'RE A SEXY LITTLE FELLA, HUH? YOU -- YOU'RE A SEXY LITTLE FELLA, HUH? [ LAUGHTER .]
FELLA, HUH? [ LAUGHTER .]
HE SAID, "THANK YOU A LOT, [ LAUGHTER .]
HE SAID, "THANK YOU A LOT, SIR.
" HE SAID, "THANK YOU A LOT, SIR.
" OKAY.
ENJOY IT.
SIR.
" OKAY.
ENJOY IT.
TAKE THE KID'S HAT AND JUST OKAY.
ENJOY IT.
TAKE THE KID'S HAT AND JUST THROW IT.
TAKE THE KID'S HAT AND JUST THROW IT.
[ Laughing .]
OH, MY GOD.
THROW IT.
[ Laughing .]
OH, MY GOD.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
[ Laughing .]
OH, MY GOD.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
NO WAY.
NO WAY.
MAN, OH, MAN.
[ BUZZER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
DA-TONG, TA-TONG, DA-TONG, TA-TONG, TONG, TONG TONG, TONG [ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
HELLO.
HELLO.
HEY, MY MAN.
HEY, MY MAN.
CAN I GET A BOTTLE OF WATER? CAN I GET A BOTTLE OF WATER? BOTTLE OF WATER? YEP.
BOTTLE OF WATER? YEP.
THIS GUY'S YOUR MILLIONTH THIS GUY'S YOUR MILLIONTH CUSTOMER? CUSTOMER? HE IS! HE IS! YOU'RE MY MILLIONTH CUSTOMER.
AM I REALLY? YOU'RE MY MILLIONTH CUSTOMER.
AM I REALLY? YES.
AM I REALLY? YES.
JOE, GRAB THE CONFETTI THAT YES.
JOE, GRAB THE CONFETTI THAT WE HID IN THE TOP RIGHT OF THE JOE, GRAB THE CONFETTI THAT WE HID IN THE TOP RIGHT OF THE CART WE HID IN THE TOP RIGHT OF THE CART SO CART SO AND SLING IT AT THIS MAN.
SO AND SLING IT AT THIS MAN.
[ LAUGHTER .]
AND SLING IT AT THIS MAN.
[ LAUGHTER .]
BOTTLE OF WATER.
[ LAUGHTER .]
BOTTLE OF WATER.
THERE YOU GO.
BOTTLE OF WATER.
THERE YOU GO.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THERE YOU GO.
[ LAUGHTER .]
CONGRATULATIONS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU'RE THE MILLIONTH CUSTOMER.
CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU'RE THE MILLIONTH CUSTOMER.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU'RE THE MILLIONTH CUSTOMER.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THANK YOU.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THANK YOU.
THAT GUY SPIT OUT CONFETTI.
THANK YOU.
THAT GUY SPIT OUT CONFETTI.
THANK YOU, SIR.
THAT GUY SPIT OUT CONFETTI.
THANK YOU, SIR.
CONGRATULATIONS.
THANK YOU, SIR.
CONGRATULATIONS.
CONFETTI.
CONGRATULATIONS.
CONFETTI.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE .]
CONFETTI.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE .]
WHAT'S UP, BUD? [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE .]
WHAT'S UP, BUD? WHAT CAN I GET YOU? WHAT'S UP, BUD? WHAT CAN I GET YOU? "YOU KNOW WHAT I CALL A PIG WHAT CAN I GET YOU? "YOU KNOW WHAT I CALL A PIG IN A BLANKET?" "YOU KNOW WHAT I CALL A PIG IN A BLANKET?" YOU KNOW WHAT -- YOU KNOW IN A BLANKET?" YOU KNOW WHAT -- YOU KNOW WHAT I CALL A PIG IN A BLANKET? YOU KNOW WHAT -- YOU KNOW WHAT I CALL A PIG IN A BLANKET? "MY WIFE ON A COLD DAY.
" WHAT I CALL A PIG IN A BLANKET? "MY WIFE ON A COLD DAY.
" OH, WOW! "MY WIFE ON A COLD DAY.
" OH, WOW! CAN'T MAKE THOSE JOKES ANYMORE.
OH, WOW! CAN'T MAKE THOSE JOKES ANYMORE.
I CAN'T MAKE THOSE JOKES.
CAN'T MAKE THOSE JOKES ANYMORE.
I CAN'T MAKE THOSE JOKES.
SHE WATCHES THE SHOW, SO I CAN'T MAKE THOSE JOKES.
SHE WATCHES THE SHOW, SO HE'S MARRIED NOW.
SHE WATCHES THE SHOW, SO HE'S MARRIED NOW.
SO I'D RATHER TAKE THAT HE'S MARRIED NOW.
SO I'D RATHER TAKE THAT INSTEAD OF WHAT'S GOING ON, SO I'D RATHER TAKE THAT INSTEAD OF WHAT'S GOING ON, BECAUSE THE WRATH OF THAT IS INSTEAD OF WHAT'S GOING ON, BECAUSE THE WRATH OF THAT IS MUCH WORSE THAN ANYTHING THESE BECAUSE THE WRATH OF THAT IS MUCH WORSE THAN ANYTHING THESE GUYS COULD THINK OF.
MUCH WORSE THAN ANYTHING THESE GUYS COULD THINK OF.
[ LAUGHTER .]
GUYS COULD THINK OF.
[ LAUGHTER .]
SMART MAN -- THAT IS A SMART [ LAUGHTER .]
SMART MAN -- THAT IS A SMART MAN.
SMART MAN -- THAT IS A SMART MAN.
THEY FOUND THE ACHILLES' MAN.
THEY FOUND THE ACHILLES' HEEL, I THINK.
THEY FOUND THE ACHILLES' HEEL, I THINK.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HEEL, I THINK.
[ LAUGHTER .]
WE GOT IT! [ LAUGHTER .]
WE GOT IT! MOST OF THE OTHER ONES WE GOT IT! MOST OF THE OTHER ONES HAVEN'T FOUND LOVE IN A REAL MOST OF THE OTHER ONES HAVEN'T FOUND LOVE IN A REAL WAY.
HAVEN'T FOUND LOVE IN A REAL WAY.
[ BUZZER .]
WAY.
[ BUZZER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ BUZZER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
Narrator: JOE AND MURR [ LAUGHTER .]
Narrator: JOE AND MURR COULDN'T CATCH UP TO THE OTHER Narrator: JOE AND MURR COULDN'T CATCH UP TO THE OTHER GUYS, SO THEY'RE ON THE LOSER GUYS, SO THEY'RE ON THE LOSER BOARD.
COMING UP WHAT HAPPENS WHEN TONIGHT'S BIG WHAT HAPPENS WHEN TONIGHT'S BIG LOSER IS FORCED TO FACE HIS LOSER IS FORCED TO FACE HIS BIGGEST FEAR? BIGGEST FEAR? All: GERONIMO! All: GERONIMO! AAH! AAH! DAMN, BOY! IT'S A JOKER SHOWDOWN -- SAL VERSUS MURR.
IT'S A JOKER SHOWDOWN -- SAL VERSUS MURR.
TODAY, WE'RE COMPETING SAL VERSUS MURR.
TODAY, WE'RE COMPETING HEAD-TO-HEAD, PITCHING OUR TODAY, WE'RE COMPETING HEAD-TO-HEAD, PITCHING OUR BRAND-NEW INVENTIONS TO A FOCUS HEAD-TO-HEAD, PITCHING OUR BRAND-NEW INVENTIONS TO A FOCUS GROUP.
BRAND-NEW INVENTIONS TO A FOCUS GROUP.
THE CATCH IS OUR INVENTIONS GROUP.
THE CATCH IS OUR INVENTIONS HAVE BEEN CREATED BY THE OTHER HAVE BEEN CREATED BY THE OTHER TWO GUYS.
THE GOAL IS TO CONVINCE A GROUP THAT YOUR PRODUCT IS THE GROUP THAT YOUR PRODUCT IS THE BETTER OF THE TWO.
BETTER OF THE TWO.
THIS GROUP -- BY SHOW OF THIS GROUP -- BY SHOW OF HANDS WHICH INVENTION THEY LIKE HANDS WHICH INVENTION THEY LIKE THE BEST.
THE BEST.
IF YOUR PRODUCT GETS THE IF YOUR PRODUCT GETS THE LEAST AMOUNT OF VOTES, YOU LOSE.
LEAST AMOUNT OF VOTES, YOU LOSE.
Narrator: IT'S A JOKER Narrator: IT'S A JOKER SHOWDOWN DOUBLE DOWN.
SHOWDOWN DOUBLE DOWN.
HI.
HOW ARE YOU GUYS? HI.
HOW ARE YOU GUYS? PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.
PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.
I'M SAL VULCANO.
I'M SAL VULCANO.
EDWARD.
EDWARD.
THESE GUYS JUST FIGHT ABOUT THESE GUYS JUST FIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING.
EVERYTHING.
COME ON AND HAVE A SEAT, COME ON AND HAVE A SEAT, PLEASE.
PLEASE.
DO YOU THINK THEY WOULD BE DO YOU THINK THEY WOULD BE FRIENDS IF WE WEREN'T IN THE FRIENDS IF WE WEREN'T IN THE PICTURE? PICTURE? NO! NO! MY PRODUCT THAT I'M GONNA BE MY PRODUCT THAT I'M GONNA BE TALKING ABOUT TODAY TALKING ABOUT TODAY [ BOTH LAUGH .]
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
IS THE 47 HOUR ENERGY BAR.
IS THE 47 HOUR ENERGY BAR.
[ CHUCKLES .]
[ CHUCKLES .]
FINALLY, RIGHT? AND THEN, THE OTHER PRODUCT, FINALLY, RIGHT? AND THEN, THE OTHER PRODUCT, THAT I'M GOING TO BE SHOWING AND THEN, THE OTHER PRODUCT, THAT I'M GOING TO BE SHOWING YOU, IS THAT I'M GOING TO BE SHOWING YOU, IS [ BOTH LAUGH .]
YOU, IS [ BOTH LAUGH .]
THEY'RE WIRELESS TIN CANS.
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
THEY'RE WIRELESS TIN CANS.
WE CALL THESE THE "CANTENNAS.
" THEY'RE WIRELESS TIN CANS.
WE CALL THESE THE "CANTENNAS.
" [ BOTH LAUGH .]
WE CALL THESE THE "CANTENNAS.
" [ BOTH LAUGH .]
OKAY.
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
OKAY.
[ CHUCKLES .]
OKAY.
[ CHUCKLES .]
ARE YOU LIKE ME? [ CHUCKLES .]
ARE YOU LIKE ME? [ BOTH LAUGH .]
ARE YOU LIKE ME? [ BOTH LAUGH .]
DO YOU FIND YOURSELF GETTING [ BOTH LAUGH .]
DO YOU FIND YOURSELF GETTING DREARY AND WEARY AT THE 46th DO YOU FIND YOURSELF GETTING DREARY AND WEARY AT THE 46th HOUR? DREARY AND WEARY AT THE 46th HOUR? I KEPT ON FINDING THAT, AROUND HOUR? I KEPT ON FINDING THAT, AROUND THE 46th HOUR, I WOULD START TO I KEPT ON FINDING THAT, AROUND THE 46th HOUR, I WOULD START TO GET TIRED, AND I NEEDED THE 46th HOUR, I WOULD START TO GET TIRED, AND I NEEDED SOMETHING TO GET ME THROUGH GET TIRED, AND I NEEDED SOMETHING TO GET ME THROUGH THAT.
SOMETHING TO GET ME THROUGH THAT.
WAIT.
THIS IS GONNA BE THE THAT.
WAIT.
THIS IS GONNA BE THE SIZE OF IT? WAIT.
THIS IS GONNA BE THE SIZE OF IT? THAT IS THE SIZE OF IT.
SIZE OF IT? THAT IS THE SIZE OF IT.
HOW MUCH OF IT DO YOU NEED TO THAT IS THE SIZE OF IT.
HOW MUCH OF IT DO YOU NEED TO EAT TO GET YOUR HOW MUCH OF IT DO YOU NEED TO EAT TO GET YOUR THE WHOLE BAR.
EAT TO GET YOUR THE WHOLE BAR.
IF YOU WANT ALL 47 HOURS, THE WHOLE BAR.
IF YOU WANT ALL 47 HOURS, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO EAT THE IF YOU WANT ALL 47 HOURS, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO EAT THE WHOLE THING.
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO EAT THE WHOLE THING.
[ LAUGHTER .]
WHOLE THING.
[ LAUGHTER .]
SAY THAT YOU NEED [ LAUGHTER .]
SAY THAT YOU NEED SAY THAT YOU NEED RIGHT ABOUT THERE.
RIGHT ABOUT THERE.
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
RIGHT ABOUT THERE.
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
NOW, YOU'VE SEEN TIN CANS [ BOTH LAUGH .]
NOW, YOU'VE SEEN TIN CANS BEFORE THAT HAVE BEEN JOINED BY NOW, YOU'VE SEEN TIN CANS BEFORE THAT HAVE BEEN JOINED BY STRING.
BEFORE THAT HAVE BEEN JOINED BY STRING.
SO, IN THE PAST, YOU'VE BEEN STRING.
SO, IN THE PAST, YOU'VE BEEN LIMITED TO THE DISTANCE THAT YOU SO, IN THE PAST, YOU'VE BEEN LIMITED TO THE DISTANCE THAT YOU CAN COMMUNICATE WITH PEOPLE.
LIMITED TO THE DISTANCE THAT YOU CAN COMMUNICATE WITH PEOPLE.
SO, FOR EXAMPLE, YOU TALK INTO CAN COMMUNICATE WITH PEOPLE.
SO, FOR EXAMPLE, YOU TALK INTO THIS END WHILE THE OTHER SO, FOR EXAMPLE, YOU TALK INTO THIS END WHILE THE OTHER PERSON'S LISTENING, AND YOU THIS END WHILE THE OTHER PERSON'S LISTENING, AND YOU JUST, YOU KNOW -- AND IT'S PERSON'S LISTENING, AND YOU JUST, YOU KNOW -- AND IT'S VERY -- AND THEN, YOU CAN JUST, YOU KNOW -- AND IT'S VERY -- AND THEN, YOU CAN SWITCH, AND THE OTHER PERSON CAN VERY -- AND THEN, YOU CAN SWITCH, AND THE OTHER PERSON CAN LISTEN AS YOU'RE TALKING.
SWITCH, AND THE OTHER PERSON CAN LISTEN AS YOU'RE TALKING.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? LISTEN AS YOU'RE TALKING.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? IT'S VERY MUCH LIKE THAT.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? IT'S VERY MUCH LIKE THAT.
THEY CONNECT INTO ANY KIND OF IT'S VERY MUCH LIKE THAT.
THEY CONNECT INTO ANY KIND OF WI-FI SYSTEM THAT YOU'VE GOT, THEY CONNECT INTO ANY KIND OF WI-FI SYSTEM THAT YOU'VE GOT, TOO.
WI-FI SYSTEM THAT YOU'VE GOT, TOO.
WHY WOULDN'T I JUST USE MY TOO.
WHY WOULDN'T I JUST USE MY CELLPHONE? WHY WOULDN'T I JUST USE MY CELLPHONE? HELLO! DATA PLAN COSTS! CELLPHONE? HELLO! DATA PLAN COSTS! RIGHT? HELLO! DATA PLAN COSTS! RIGHT? [ BOTH LAUGH .]
RIGHT? [ BOTH LAUGH .]
$10 FOR MY DATA PLAN, [ BOTH LAUGH .]
$10 FOR MY DATA PLAN, UNLIMITED.
$10 FOR MY DATA PLAN, UNLIMITED.
THERE IS NO DATA PLAN FOR UNLIMITED.
THERE IS NO DATA PLAN FOR THESE.
THERE IS NO DATA PLAN FOR THESE.
THIS FITS RIGHT IN MY POCKET.
THESE.
THIS FITS RIGHT IN MY POCKET.
YOU KNOW WHAT DOESN'T FIT IN THIS FITS RIGHT IN MY POCKET.
YOU KNOW WHAT DOESN'T FIT IN YOUR POCKET? YOU KNOW WHAT DOESN'T FIT IN YOUR POCKET? A 4-POUND BAR.
YOUR POCKET? A 4-POUND BAR.
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
A 4-POUND BAR.
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
IT DOESN'T EVEN FIT IN YOUR [ BOTH LAUGH .]
IT DOESN'T EVEN FIT IN YOUR STOMACH.
IT DOESN'T EVEN FIT IN YOUR STOMACH.
THIS IS ALSO EXTREMELY HEAVY.
STOMACH.
THIS IS ALSO EXTREMELY HEAVY.
THAT'S -- THAT'S A SOLID FOOT.
THIS IS ALSO EXTREMELY HEAVY.
THAT'S -- THAT'S A SOLID FOOT.
HOW WOULD YOU BRING THAT AROUND? THAT'S -- THAT'S A SOLID FOOT.
HOW WOULD YOU BRING THAT AROUND? EXTREMELY HEAVY FOR WHO -- HOW WOULD YOU BRING THAT AROUND? EXTREMELY HEAVY FOR WHO -- A SMURF? EXTREMELY HEAVY FOR WHO -- A SMURF? [ LAUGHTER .]
A SMURF? [ LAUGHTER .]
WOW, IT'S HEATED IN THAT [ LAUGHTER .]
WOW, IT'S HEATED IN THAT ROOM.
WOW, IT'S HEATED IN THAT ROOM.
DAMN.
ROOM.
DAMN.
HOW MANY OF YOU WOULD BRING DAMN.
HOW MANY OF YOU WOULD BRING THE CANTENNAS TO MARKET, BY SHOW HOW MANY OF YOU WOULD BRING THE CANTENNAS TO MARKET, BY SHOW OF HANDS? THE CANTENNAS TO MARKET, BY SHOW OF HANDS? I STICK WITH MY VOTE.
OF HANDS? I STICK WITH MY VOTE.
SO, ONE.
I STICK WITH MY VOTE.
SO, ONE.
HOW MANY OF YOU GUYS THINK AN SO, ONE.
HOW MANY OF YOU GUYS THINK AN ORGANIC, ALL-NATURAL ENERGY IS HOW MANY OF YOU GUYS THINK AN ORGANIC, ALL-NATURAL ENERGY IS THE WAY TO GO? ORGANIC, ALL-NATURAL ENERGY IS THE WAY TO GO? ONE, TWO, THREE.
THE WAY TO GO? ONE, TWO, THREE.
THREE.
THREE.
ONE, TWO, THREE.
THREE.
THREE.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
BOOM! [ BUZZER .]
AND MURR'S OUT.
AND MURR'S OUT.
Narrator: MURR COULDN'T Narrator: MURR COULDN'T INVENT HIS WAY OUT OF THIS ONE, SO HE'S TONIGHT'S BIG LOSER.
INVENT HIS WAY OUT OF THIS ONE, SO HE'S TONIGHT'S BIG LOSER.
THERE'S A REASON WE'RE OVER SO HE'S TONIGHT'S BIG LOSER.
THERE'S A REASON WE'RE OVER HERE AND MURR IS OVER THERE.
THERE'S A REASON WE'RE OVER HERE AND MURR IS OVER THERE.
[ LAUGHS .]
HERE AND MURR IS OVER THERE.
[ LAUGHS .]
TODAY, WE MADE THIS MURRAY'S [ LAUGHS .]
TODAY, WE MADE THIS MURRAY'S PUNISHMENT.
TODAY, WE MADE THIS MURRAY'S PUNISHMENT.
HE THINKS THAT WE'RE TEACHING PUNISHMENT.
HE THINKS THAT WE'RE TEACHING CLASSES.
HE THINKS THAT WE'RE TEACHING CLASSES.
LOOK AT THAT IDIOT.
CLASSES.
LOOK AT THAT IDIOT.
LOOK AT HIM OVER THERE.
LOOK AT THAT IDIOT.
LOOK AT HIM OVER THERE.
WE'VE BEEN KEEPING THIS LOOK AT HIM OVER THERE.
WE'VE BEEN KEEPING THIS SECRET FOR A LONG TIME, AND I WE'VE BEEN KEEPING THIS SECRET FOR A LONG TIME, AND I CAN'T WAIT TO REVEAL IT.
SECRET FOR A LONG TIME, AND I CAN'T WAIT TO REVEAL IT.
IF YOU'VE SEEN ME ON THE CAN'T WAIT TO REVEAL IT.
IF YOU'VE SEEN ME ON THE STREET AND I'VE LOOKED HAPPY IF YOU'VE SEEN ME ON THE STREET AND I'VE LOOKED HAPPY LATELY STREET AND I'VE LOOKED HAPPY LATELY IT'S 'CAUSE OF THIS.
LATELY IT'S 'CAUSE OF THIS.
IT'S 'CAUSE OF THIS -- IT'S 'CAUSE OF THIS.
IT'S 'CAUSE OF THIS -- THIS DAY.
IT'S 'CAUSE OF THIS -- THIS DAY.
TODAY, WE'RE TEAMING UP AT THIS DAY.
TODAY, WE'RE TEAMING UP AT SKYDIVE LONG ISLAND IN TODAY, WE'RE TEAMING UP AT SKYDIVE LONG ISLAND IN CALVERTON, TEACHING PEOPLE HOW SKYDIVE LONG ISLAND IN CALVERTON, TEACHING PEOPLE HOW TO JUMP OUT OF PLANES.
CALVERTON, TEACHING PEOPLE HOW TO JUMP OUT OF PLANES.
Together: WELL TO JUMP OUT OF PLANES.
Together: WELL MAYBE WE'RE NOT, MURR.
Together: WELL MAYBE WE'RE NOT, MURR.
MAYBE IT'S YOUR PUNISHMENT.
MAYBE WE'RE NOT, MURR.
MAYBE IT'S YOUR PUNISHMENT.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
MAYBE IT'S YOUR PUNISHMENT.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
NO, IT'S NOT! NO, NO, NO, NO.
NO, IT'S NOT! NO, IT IS NOT! NO, IT'S NOT! NO, IT IS NOT! NO, NO, NO! [ RUMBLING .]
TODAY, WE'RE TEAMING UP AT SKYDIVE LONG ISLAND IN TODAY, WE'RE TEAMING UP AT SKYDIVE LONG ISLAND IN CALVERTON, TEACHING PEOPLE HOW SKYDIVE LONG ISLAND IN CALVERTON, TEACHING PEOPLE HOW TO JUMP OUT OF PLANES.
CALVERTON, TEACHING PEOPLE HOW TO JUMP OUT OF PLANES.
Together: WELL TO JUMP OUT OF PLANES.
Together: WELL MAYBE WE'RE NOT, MURR.
Together: WELL MAYBE WE'RE NOT, MURR.
MAYBE IT'S YOUR PUNISHMENT.
MAYBE WE'RE NOT, MURR.
MAYBE IT'S YOUR PUNISHMENT.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
MAYBE IT'S YOUR PUNISHMENT.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
NO, IT'S NOT! NO, NO, NO, NO.
NO, IT'S NOT! NO, IT IS NOT.
NO, IT'S NOT! NO, IT IS NOT.
THERE'S NO [BLEEP.]
WAY I'M NO, IT IS NOT.
THERE'S NO [BLEEP.]
WAY I'M JUMPING OUT OF A PLANE! THERE'S NO [BLEEP.]
WAY I'M JUMPING OUT OF A PLANE! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! JUMPING OUT OF A PLANE! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! YOU NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! YOU NO, NO [BLEEP.]
WAY! YOU NO, NO [BLEEP.]
WAY! NO WAY! NO, NO [BLEEP.]
WAY! NO WAY! THE EPISODE NO WAY! THE EPISODE IT'S NOT HAPPENING.
THE EPISODE IT'S NOT HAPPENING.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! IT'S NOT HAPPENING.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! SO, MURRAY THOUGHT WE WERE NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! SO, MURRAY THOUGHT WE WERE COMING HERE TO TEACH CLASSES SO, MURRAY THOUGHT WE WERE COMING HERE TO TEACH CLASSES TODAY COMING HERE TO TEACH CLASSES TODAY NO, NO WE'RE NOT! TODAY NO, NO WE'RE NOT! BUT IN FACT, IT'S HIS NO, NO WE'RE NOT! BUT IN FACT, IT'S HIS PUNISHMENT.
BUT IN FACT, IT'S HIS PUNISHMENT.
MURRAY IS DEATHLY, DEATHLY PUNISHMENT.
MURRAY IS DEATHLY, DEATHLY AFRAID OF SKYDIVING -- HIS MURRAY IS DEATHLY, DEATHLY AFRAID OF SKYDIVING -- HIS ENTIRE LIFE, SAYING HE WILL AFRAID OF SKYDIVING -- HIS ENTIRE LIFE, SAYING HE WILL NEVER DO IT.
ENTIRE LIFE, SAYING HE WILL NEVER DO IT.
I AM NOT JUMPING -- NO WAY.
NEVER DO IT.
I AM NOT JUMPING -- NO WAY.
HE'S AFRAID OF HEIGHTS.
I AM NOT JUMPING -- NO WAY.
HE'S AFRAID OF HEIGHTS.
NO, I'M NOT DOING IT.
HE'S AFRAID OF HEIGHTS.
NO, I'M NOT DOING IT.
MURRAY, I DROVE YOU HERE.
NO, I'M NOT DOING IT.
MURRAY, I DROVE YOU HERE.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING? MURRAY, I DROVE YOU HERE.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING? [ LAUGHTER .]
WHERE ARE YOU GOING? [ LAUGHTER .]
OH.
ALL RIGHT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH.
ALL RIGHT.
LET'S GET A NEW SUIT.
OH.
ALL RIGHT.
LET'S GET A NEW SUIT.
I'M NOT DOING IT, MAN.
LET'S GET A NEW SUIT.
I'M NOT DOING IT, MAN.
START THE VAN.
I'M GOING.
I'M NOT DOING IT, MAN.
START THE VAN.
I'M GOING.
GIVE ME THE [BLEEP.]
KEYS.
START THE VAN.
I'M GOING.
GIVE ME THE [BLEEP.]
KEYS.
I'M NOT DOING IT.
GIVE ME THE [BLEEP.]
KEYS.
I'M NOT DOING IT.
THIS IS A JOKE, RIGHT? I'M NOT DOING IT.
THIS IS A JOKE, RIGHT? I'M NOT DOING IT.
THIS IS A JOKE, RIGHT? I'M NOT DOING IT.
THIS IS I'M NOT DOING IT.
THIS IS IT'S NO JOKE, BRO.
THIS IS IT'S NO JOKE, BRO.
PUT YOUR SUIT ON AND MAN UP, IT'S NO JOKE, BRO.
PUT YOUR SUIT ON AND MAN UP, BUDDY.
PUT YOUR SUIT ON AND MAN UP, BUDDY.
THIS IS [BLEEP.]
MAN.
BUDDY.
THIS IS [BLEEP.]
MAN.
WHAT IF THIS GOES WRONG, GUYS? THIS IS [BLEEP.]
MAN.
WHAT IF THIS GOES WRONG, GUYS? WELL, WE'LL MOURN YOU.
WHAT IF THIS GOES WRONG, GUYS? WELL, WE'LL MOURN YOU.
[ LAUGHS .]
WELL, WE'LL MOURN YOU.
[ LAUGHS .]
I'M SHAKING RIGHT NOW.
[ LAUGHS .]
I'M SHAKING RIGHT NOW.
WAIT.
HOLD ON.
I'M SHAKING RIGHT NOW.
WAIT.
HOLD ON.
HOLY [BLEEP.]
WAIT.
HOLD ON.
HOLY [BLEEP.]
HE HAS A HEART.
HOLY [BLEEP.]
HE HAS A HEART.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HE HAS A HEART.
[ LAUGHTER .]
IT'S PUNISHMENT, AND YOU KNOW [ LAUGHTER .]
IT'S PUNISHMENT, AND YOU KNOW THAT -- YOU HAVE TO DO IT.
IT'S PUNISHMENT, AND YOU KNOW THAT -- YOU HAVE TO DO IT.
BUT WE ALL MADE A PACT YEARS AGO THAT -- YOU HAVE TO DO IT.
BUT WE ALL MADE A PACT YEARS AGO THAT YOU CAN'T SAY NO TO BUT WE ALL MADE A PACT YEARS AGO THAT YOU CAN'T SAY NO TO PUNISHMENTS.
THAT YOU CAN'T SAY NO TO PUNISHMENTS.
THIS IS BEYOND.
PUNISHMENTS.
THIS IS BEYOND.
IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER, THIS IS BEYOND.
IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER, WE'RE GOING UP IN THE PLANE WITH IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER, WE'RE GOING UP IN THE PLANE WITH YOU.
WE'RE GOING UP IN THE PLANE WITH YOU.
BUT WE'RE JUST GONNA LAND A YOU.
BUT WE'RE JUST GONNA LAND A DIFFERENT WAY.
BUT WE'RE JUST GONNA LAND A DIFFERENT WAY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
DIFFERENT WAY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH [BLEEP.]
ME.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH [BLEEP.]
ME.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH [BLEEP.]
ME.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ SIGHS .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ SIGHS .]
THAT'S ALL IT IS, IS JUST THIS? [ SIGHS .]
THAT'S ALL IT IS, IS JUST THIS? YOU DON'T TIE IT IN, LIKE, A THAT'S ALL IT IS, IS JUST THIS? YOU DON'T TIE IT IN, LIKE, A DOUBLE KNOT OR SOMETHING? YOU DON'T TIE IT IN, LIKE, A DOUBLE KNOT OR SOMETHING? NO.
DOUBLE KNOT OR SOMETHING? NO.
[ LAUGHTER .]
NO.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I MEAN, THIS IS JUST FABRIC, [ LAUGHTER .]
I MEAN, THIS IS JUST FABRIC, RIGHT? I MEAN, THIS IS JUST FABRIC, RIGHT? THIS IS JUST CLOTH.
RIGHT? THIS IS JUST CLOTH.
IT'S NYLON.
THIS IS JUST CLOTH.
IT'S NYLON.
NYLON? IT'S NYLON.
NYLON? THIS IS -- THIS IS NYLON, GUYS.
NYLON? THIS IS -- THIS IS NYLON, GUYS.
AND IN CASE YOU'RE WONDERING THIS IS -- THIS IS NYLON, GUYS.
AND IN CASE YOU'RE WONDERING THE -- HOW -- HOW STRONG THE AND IN CASE YOU'RE WONDERING THE -- HOW -- HOW STRONG THE FABRIC IS, IT'S NYLON.
THE -- HOW -- HOW STRONG THE FABRIC IS, IT'S NYLON.
[ LAUGHTER .]
FABRIC IS, IT'S NYLON.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ CHUCKLING .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ CHUCKLING .]
[ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY .]
[ CHUCKLING .]
[ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY .]
LET'S GO, MURR.
[ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY .]
LET'S GO, MURR.
HOLD YOUR HAND.
LET'S GO, MURR.
HOLD YOUR HAND.
LET'S GO, MURRAY! YEAH! HOLD YOUR HAND.
LET'S GO, MURRAY! YEAH! HOLD IT.
LET'S GO, MURRAY! YEAH! HOLD IT.
THERE WE GO.
HOLD IT.
THERE WE GO.
GUYS, WE DID IT -- WE GET TO THERE WE GO.
GUYS, WE DID IT -- WE GET TO THROW MURRAY OUT OF A PLANE.
GUYS, WE DID IT -- WE GET TO THROW MURRAY OUT OF A PLANE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ONLY ONE WAY OUT NOW, MURR.
[ LAUGHTER .]
TAKING THE EXPRESS ELEVATOR [ LAUGHTER .]
TAKING THE EXPRESS ELEVATOR DOWN, BUDDY.
TAKING THE EXPRESS ELEVATOR DOWN, BUDDY.
GUYS, I CAN'T DO THIS.
DOWN, BUDDY.
GUYS, I CAN'T DO THIS.
I'M GONNA LOSE MY [BLEEP.]
MAN.
GUYS, I CAN'T DO THIS.
I'M GONNA LOSE MY [BLEEP.]
MAN.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I'M GONNA LOSE MY [BLEEP.]
MAN.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH, MY GOD.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH, MY GOD.
[ APPLAUSE .]
OH, MY GOD.
[ APPLAUSE .]
ARE WE AT -- WE HAVE TO GET -- [ APPLAUSE .]
ARE WE AT -- WE HAVE TO GET -- ARE WE THERE? ARE WE AT -- WE HAVE TO GET -- ARE WE THERE? I MEAN, THIS IS TOO HIGH.
ARE WE THERE? I MEAN, THIS IS TOO HIGH.
THIS IS WAY TOO HIGH, DON'T YOU I MEAN, THIS IS TOO HIGH.
THIS IS WAY TOO HIGH, DON'T YOU THINK? THIS IS WAY TOO HIGH, DON'T YOU THINK? WHY ARE WE STILL GOING UP? THINK? WHY ARE WE STILL GOING UP? [ ALL SCREAMING .]
WHY ARE WE STILL GOING UP? [ ALL SCREAMING .]
[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING .]
[ ALL SCREAMING .]
[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING .]
OH, MY GOD.
[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING .]
OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD! [ WHIMPERING .]
OH, MY GOD! [ WHIMPERING .]
COME ON, MURRAY! [ WHIMPERING .]
COME ON, MURRAY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE .]
COME ON, MURRAY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE .]
OH, MY GOD! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE .]
OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! All: GERONIMO! OH, MY GOD! All: GERONIMO! AAH! AAH! All: GERONIMO! AAH! AAH! OH, MY GOD! AAH! AAH! OH, MY GOD! AAH! OH, MY GOD! AAH! AAAH! AAAH! AAH! AAAH! AAAH! [ SCREAMING .]
AAAH! AAAH! [ SCREAMING .]
OH, MY GOD! [ SCREAMING .]
OH, MY GOD! AAH! AAH! OH, MY GOD! AAH! AAH! OH, MY GOD! AAH! AAH! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! [ SCREAMING .]
OH, MY GOD! [ SCREAMING .]
THAT WAS SCARY JUST WATCHING [ SCREAMING .]
THAT WAS SCARY JUST WATCHING IT.
THAT WAS SCARY JUST WATCHING IT.
JUST WATCHING MURRAY.
IT.
JUST WATCHING MURRAY.
I KNOW JUST WATCHING MURRAY.
I KNOW AAH! AAH! I KNOW AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH! OH! OH! OH, MY GOD! AAH! OH! OH! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH! OH! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! DID THE PARACHUTE GO UP? OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! DID THE PARACHUTE GO UP? [ CHUCKLES .]
DID THE PARACHUTE GO UP? [ CHUCKLES .]
DON'T DROP ME, MAN.
[ CHUCKLES .]
DON'T DROP ME, MAN.
I'M NOT GONNA DROP YOU.
DON'T DROP ME, MAN.
I'M NOT GONNA DROP YOU.
DON'T DROP ME.
I'M NOT GONNA DROP YOU.
DON'T DROP ME.
I'M NOT GONNA FALL.
DON'T DROP ME.
I'M NOT GONNA FALL.
HOLY [BLEEP.]
I'M NOT GONNA FALL.
HOLY [BLEEP.]
I NEED THREE NEW BEST FRIENDS.
HOLY [BLEEP.]
I NEED THREE NEW BEST FRIENDS.
[ LAUGHS .]
I NEED THREE NEW BEST FRIENDS.
[ LAUGHS .]
AH! AH! AH! AH! [ CHUCKLES .]
[ CHUCKLES .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
I COULDN'T HAVE THIS.
COME HERE.
COME HERE.
COME HERE.
COME HERE.
NO, NO, NO!
DRAGGING BEHIND? ALMOST GOT IT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ALMOST GOT IT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ SIGHS .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ SIGHS .]
Narrator: WHAT DID SAL DO TO [ SIGHS .]
Narrator: WHAT DID SAL DO TO DESERVE THIS? Narrator: WHAT DID SAL DO TO DESERVE THIS? YOU SON OF A BITCH.
DESERVE THIS? YOU SON OF A BITCH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU SON OF A BITCH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
Narrator: AND WILL TONIGHT'S [ LAUGHTER .]
Narrator: AND WILL TONIGHT'S BIG LOSER SURVIVE THIS? Narrator: AND WILL TONIGHT'S BIG LOSER SURVIVE THIS? NO! BIG LOSER SURVIVE THIS? NO! AAH! AAH! OH, MY [ TIRES SCREECH .]
PREPARE FOR SOMETHING PREPARE FOR SOMETHING AMAZING.
AMAZING.
[ HORN HONKS .]
[ HORN HONKS .]
HEY, MUSTACHE, WHAT'S UP? HEY, MUSTACHE, WHAT'S UP? [ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
I WANT MY MOMMY! I WANT MY MOMMY! [ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU! I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU! LARRY! LARRY! [ LAUGHS .]
[ LAUGHS .]
[ LAUGHS .]
HOP TO IT, FELLAS.
WE'RE AT THE BORGATA, WORKING AS BELLHOPS.
WE'RE AT THE BORGATA, WORKING AS BELLHOPS.
WE'LL HAVE TO BRING GUESTS TO BELLHOPS.
WE'LL HAVE TO BRING GUESTS TO THE ROOMS AND GET THEM SETTLED WE'LL HAVE TO BRING GUESTS TO THE ROOMS AND GET THEM SETTLED IN, ALL WHILE DOING AND SAYING THE ROOMS AND GET THEM SETTLED IN, ALL WHILE DOING AND SAYING WHAT THE OTHER GUYS TELL US.
IN, ALL WHILE DOING AND SAYING WHAT THE OTHER GUYS TELL US.
WHEN WE'RE FINISHED, WE'RE WHEN WE'RE FINISHED, WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO TRY AND GET A TIP.
IF YOU CAN'T GET A TIP, YOU LOSE.
LOSE.
WARM UP, BOYS.
WARM UP, BOYS.
[ ALL GROANING .]
HERE HE COMES.
SO, COME ON IN.
SO, COME ON IN.
SO, THIS IS THE SUITE.
SO, THIS IS THE SUITE.
YOU GOT YOUR COUCHES OVER HERE.
YOU GOT YOUR COUCHES OVER HERE.
YEAH.
YEAH.
THE TV CHANNELS WITH THE TV CHANNELS WITH EVERYTHING THERE.
EVERYTHING THERE.
"ARE YOU MAKING LOVE THIS "ARE YOU MAKING LOVE THIS EVENING?" [ LAUGHTER .]
EVENING?" [ LAUGHTER .]
DO YOU PLAN ON MAKING LOVE [ LAUGHTER .]
DO YOU PLAN ON MAKING LOVE THIS EVENING OR DO YOU PLAN ON MAKING LOVE THIS EVENING OR [ LAUGHTER .]
THIS EVENING OR [ LAUGHTER .]
DEFINITELY.
OKAY, SO [ LAUGHTER .]
DEFINITELY.
OKAY, SO "AS YOU CAN SEE, THE CARPET DEFINITELY.
OKAY, SO "AS YOU CAN SEE, THE CARPET MATCHES THE DRAPES.
" "AS YOU CAN SEE, THE CARPET MATCHES THE DRAPES.
" AND AS YOU CAN TELL, THE MATCHES THE DRAPES.
" AND AS YOU CAN TELL, THE CARPET MATCHES THE DRAPES.
AND AS YOU CAN TELL, THE CARPET MATCHES THE DRAPES.
[ LAUGHTER .]
CARPET MATCHES THE DRAPES.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HE POINTED AT HER.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HE POINTED AT HER.
WELL, NOBODY TOLD YOU TO HE POINTED AT HER.
WELL, NOBODY TOLD YOU TO POINT AT HER.
WELL, NOBODY TOLD YOU TO POINT AT HER.
NOBODY SAID THAT! POINT AT HER.
NOBODY SAID THAT! YEAH, SO, AND NOBODY SAID THAT! YEAH, SO, AND "HERE'S SOMETHING I LOVE TO YEAH, SO, AND "HERE'S SOMETHING I LOVE TO DO.
" "HERE'S SOMETHING I LOVE TO DO.
" HERE'S SOMETHING I LOVE DO AT DO.
" HERE'S SOMETHING I LOVE DO AT THIS PLACE IS HERE'S SOMETHING I LOVE DO AT THIS PLACE IS JUST MOON OUT THE WINDOW.
THIS PLACE IS JUST MOON OUT THE WINDOW.
[ LAUGHTER .]
JUST MOON OUT THE WINDOW.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ SIGHS .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ SIGHS .]
DROP YOUR PANTS.
[ SIGHS .]
DROP YOUR PANTS.
[ LAUGHS .]
DROP YOUR PANTS.
[ LAUGHS .]
NOBODY SEES THAT.
[ LAUGHS .]
NOBODY SEES THAT.
OH, MY GOD! NOBODY SEES THAT.
OH, MY GOD! RIGHT? OH, MY GOD! RIGHT? YEAH.
RIGHT? YEAH.
"I'M DEALING WITH SOMETHING YEAH.
"I'M DEALING WITH SOMETHING BIG HERE.
" "I'M DEALING WITH SOMETHING BIG HERE.
" I'M DEALING WITH A PROBLEM BIG HERE.
" I'M DEALING WITH A PROBLEM HERE.
I'M DEALING WITH A PROBLEM HERE.
JUST ITCH YOUR BUTT, BUDDY.
HERE.
JUST ITCH YOUR BUTT, BUDDY.
DRAG YOUR ASS AROUND THE JUST ITCH YOUR BUTT, BUDDY.
DRAG YOUR ASS AROUND THE FLOOR LIKE A CHIHUAHUA.
DRAG YOUR ASS AROUND THE FLOOR LIKE A CHIHUAHUA.
[ LAUGHTER .]
FLOOR LIKE A CHIHUAHUA.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OHH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OHH.
UH.
[ LAUGHS .]
OHH.
UH.
[ LAUGHS .]
GIVE ME A MINUTE.
UH.
[ LAUGHS .]
GIVE ME A MINUTE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
GIVE ME A MINUTE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ALMOST GOT IT.
THIS IS -- "I'VE -- I'VE ALMOST GOT IT.
" ALMOST GOT IT.
I'VE ALMOST GOT IT.
" ALMOST GOT IT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ALMOST GOT IT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
KEEP GOING, BUDDY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
KEEP GOING, BUDDY.
KEEP GOING AROUND THE ROOM.
KEEP GOING, BUDDY.
KEEP GOING AROUND THE ROOM.
IT'S DEFINITELY NOT BEDBUGS.
KEEP GOING AROUND THE ROOM.
IT'S DEFINITELY NOT BEDBUGS.
I MEAN, THIS PLACE IS TOP NOTCH.
IT'S DEFINITELY NOT BEDBUGS.
I MEAN, THIS PLACE IS TOP NOTCH.
YEAH.
I MEAN, THIS PLACE IS TOP NOTCH.
YEAH.
SO YEAH.
SO [ LAUGHTER .]
SO [ LAUGHTER .]
CAN I HAVE A TIP? [ LAUGHTER .]
CAN I HAVE A TIP? ALL RIGHT, WELL, THANK YOU VERY CAN I HAVE A TIP? ALL RIGHT, WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
ALL RIGHT, WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
NO TIP! MUCH.
NO TIP! HE DIDN'T GET A TIP.
HE DIDN'T GET A TIP.
I'LL SEE YOU GUYS LATER.
WOW! FAIL! [ BUZZER .]
[ BUZZER .]
Q, AS SOON AS YOU WALK IN, Q, AS SOON AS YOU WALK IN, ANNOUNCE TO THEM, "WELCOME TO ANNOUNCE TO THEM, "WELCOME TO YOUR FINAL RESTING PLACE.
" YOUR FINAL RESTING PLACE.
" THEY GOT THE MORTUARY SUITES.
THEY GOT THE MORTUARY SUITES.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
WELCOME TO YOUR FINAL RESTING WELCOME TO YOUR FINAL RESTING PLACE.
PLACE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
FOR NO REASON, FLUSH THE TOILET AND COME RIGHT BACK OUT.
FOR NO REASON, FLUSH THE TOILET AND COME RIGHT BACK OUT.
[ LAUGHS .]
TOILET AND COME RIGHT BACK OUT.
[ LAUGHS .]
[ TOILET FLUSHES .]
[ LAUGHS .]
[ TOILET FLUSHES .]
AND WALK RIGHT BACK OUT TO [ TOILET FLUSHES .]
AND WALK RIGHT BACK OUT TO THE LIVING ROOM.
AND WALK RIGHT BACK OUT TO THE LIVING ROOM.
PASS THEM.
THE LIVING ROOM.
PASS THEM.
[ LAUGHTER .]
PASS THEM.
[ LAUGHTER .]
"THE ROOM IS TOTALLY [ LAUGHTER .]
"THE ROOM IS TOTALLY SOUNDPROOF.
" "THE ROOM IS TOTALLY SOUNDPROOF.
" THE ROOM IS TOTALLY SOUNDPROOF.
" THE ROOM IS TOTALLY SOUNDPROOF.
THE ROOM IS TOTALLY SOUNDPROOF.
"SO YOU CAN SCREAM.
" SOUNDPROOF.
"SO YOU CAN SCREAM.
" SO YOU COULD -- YOU COULD "SO YOU CAN SCREAM.
" SO YOU COULD -- YOU COULD SCREAM.
SO YOU COULD -- YOU COULD SCREAM.
DEMONSTRATE IT, Q.
SCREAM.
DEMONSTRATE IT, Q.
NOT ME! HELP! DEMONSTRATE IT, Q.
NOT ME! HELP! SEND HELP! NOT ME! HELP! SEND HELP! HELP! HELP! SEND HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP IS NEVER GONNA COME.
HELP! HELP! HELP IS NEVER GONNA COME.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HELP IS NEVER GONNA COME.
[ LAUGHTER .]
UNBUTTON YOUR TOP BUTTONS, [ LAUGHTER .]
UNBUTTON YOUR TOP BUTTONS, STARE AT THEM, AND SAY, "WE UNBUTTON YOUR TOP BUTTONS, STARE AT THEM, AND SAY, "WE GONNA DO THIS OR" STARE AT THEM, AND SAY, "WE GONNA DO THIS OR" OHO! OH, MY GOD! GONNA DO THIS OR" OHO! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OHO! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
OH, MY GOD! OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
WELL OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
WELL SO, WE -- ARE WE -- WELL SO, WE -- ARE WE -- WE GONNA DO THIS? SO, WE -- ARE WE -- WE GONNA DO THIS? [ LAUGHTER .]
WE GONNA DO THIS? [ LAUGHTER .]
OH, MY GOD! [ LAUGHTER .]
OH, MY GOD! "ENJOY THE BORGATA.
" OH, MY GOD! "ENJOY THE BORGATA.
" I GUESS I'M DONE HERE.
"ENJOY THE BORGATA.
" I GUESS I'M DONE HERE.
ENJOY THE BORGATA.
I GUESS I'M DONE HERE.
ENJOY THE BORGATA.
[ CLEARS THROAT, SNIFFLES .]
ENJOY THE BORGATA.
[ CLEARS THROAT, SNIFFLES .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ CLEARS THROAT, SNIFFLES .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH! [ LAUGHTER .]
OH! OH! OH! OH! "LOVE YOU.
" OH! "LOVE YOU.
" THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
[ DING! .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
LOOK AT THIS LITTLE COUPLE LOOK AT THIS LITTLE COUPLE OUT FOR A NICE NIGHT.
OUT FOR A NICE NIGHT.
OH.
OH.
ALL RIGHT.
THERE WE GO.
ALL RIGHT.
THERE WE GO.
COME ON IN.
COME ON IN.
LOVE IN THE AIR, AND THEN LOVE IN THE AIR, AND THEN THERE'S MURRAY.
THERE'S MURRAY.
THE BELLHOP IS LOCATED AT THE BELLHOP IS LOCATED AT EXTENSION 76, SO PLEASE HELP EXTENSION 76, SO PLEASE HELP YOURSELF.
YOURSELF.
MURR, UNPACK THEIR BAGS FOR MURR, UNPACK THEIR BAGS FOR THEM.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THEM.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU'VE GOT A PLETHORA OF [ LAUGHTER .]
YOU'VE GOT A PLETHORA OF OPTIONS HERE TO UNPACK.
YOU'VE GOT A PLETHORA OF OPTIONS HERE TO UNPACK.
KEEP ANNOUNCING WHAT YOU'RE OPTIONS HERE TO UNPACK.
KEEP ANNOUNCING WHAT YOU'RE PULLING OUT OF THE BAG AS YOU KEEP ANNOUNCING WHAT YOU'RE PULLING OUT OF THE BAG AS YOU PULL IT OUT.
PULLING OUT OF THE BAG AS YOU PULL IT OUT.
SO THEY KNOW WHAT YOU'RE PULL IT OUT.
SO THEY KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TOUCHING.
SO THEY KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TOUCHING.
YEAH.
TOUCHING.
YEAH.
DRESS SOCKS.
YEAH.
DRESS SOCKS.
LET'S PUT THE SHOES IN THERE -- DRESS SOCKS.
LET'S PUT THE SHOES IN THERE -- THE BRA.
LET'S PUT THE SHOES IN THERE -- THE BRA.
THE BRA! THE BRA! THE BRA.
THE BRA! THE BRA! [ LAUGHTER .]
THE BRA! THE BRA! [ LAUGHTER .]
THE PANTIES.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THE PANTIES.
FEMININE PRODUCTS.
SPANX.
THE PANTIES.
FEMININE PRODUCTS.
SPANX.
HE'S TOUCHING HER FEMININE PRODUCTS.
SPANX.
HE'S TOUCHING HER UNMENTIONABLES.
HE'S TOUCHING HER UNMENTIONABLES.
UNMENTIONABLES.
UNMENTIONABLES.
UNMENTIONABLES.
GROSS.
UNMENTIONABLES.
GROSS.
THERE'S THE -- THE TEDDY AND GROSS.
THERE'S THE -- THE TEDDY AND THE LINGERIE.
THERE'S THE -- THE TEDDY AND THE LINGERIE.
OHH! THE LINGERIE.
OHH! [ LAUGHS .]
OHH! [ LAUGHS .]
OH [ LAUGHS .]
OH OH, MY GOD.
OH OH, MY GOD.
MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD.
MY GOD.
ONE OF THE LIGHT BULBS ABOVE MY GOD.
ONE OF THE LIGHT BULBS ABOVE THE BED IS OUT.
ONE OF THE LIGHT BULBS ABOVE THE BED IS OUT.
YOU WANT TO ADJUST THAT? THE BED IS OUT.
YOU WANT TO ADJUST THAT? THE LIGHT BULB IS YOU WANT TO ADJUST THAT? THE LIGHT BULB IS YEAH, JUST STEP ON THE BED, THE LIGHT BULB IS YEAH, JUST STEP ON THE BED, RIGHT ON -- WITH THE PILLOWS, YEAH, JUST STEP ON THE BED, RIGHT ON -- WITH THE PILLOWS, YEAH.
RIGHT ON -- WITH THE PILLOWS, YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THIS ONE'S [ LAUGHTER .]
THIS ONE'S THESE ARE FINE.
THIS ONE'S THESE ARE FINE.
"YOU KNOW, A LOT OF MAGIC THESE ARE FINE.
"YOU KNOW, A LOT OF MAGIC HAPPENS IN THIS ROOM.
" "YOU KNOW, A LOT OF MAGIC HAPPENS IN THIS ROOM.
" UH, A LOT OF -- A LOT OF HAPPENS IN THIS ROOM.
" UH, A LOT OF -- A LOT OF MAGIC HAPPENS IN THIS ROOM, UH, A LOT OF -- A LOT OF MAGIC HAPPENS IN THIS ROOM, SO MAGIC HAPPENS IN THIS ROOM, SO WE KEEP A LOT OF THE MAGICIAN SO WE KEEP A LOT OF THE MAGICIAN ACTS IN THIS ROOM.
WE KEEP A LOT OF THE MAGICIAN ACTS IN THIS ROOM.
"AND THEY GET HOOKERS.
" ACTS IN THIS ROOM.
"AND THEY GET HOOKERS.
" [ LAUGHTER .]
"AND THEY GET HOOKERS.
" [ LAUGHTER .]
AND THEY GET HOOKERS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
AND THEY GET HOOKERS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
AND THEY GET HOOKERS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
SO, ABRACADABRA, I GUESS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
SO, ABRACADABRA, I GUESS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
SO, ABRACADABRA, I GUESS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
OH, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
OH, THANK YOU.
THAT'S SO GENEROUS.
OH, THANK YOU.
THAT'S SO GENEROUS.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THAT'S SO GENEROUS.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
Both: OHH! THANK YOU SO MUCH.
Both: OHH! APPRECIATE IT.
THANK YOU.
APPRECIATE IT.
THANK YOU.
HAVE A GREAT DAY, FOLKS.
[ DING! .]
OH, LOOK AT THIS HAPPY OH, LOOK AT THIS HAPPY COUPLE.
COUPLE.
AH, HERE WE GO.
AH, HERE WE GO.
JUST OUT TO ENJOY A LITTLE JUST OUT TO ENJOY A LITTLE VACATION TIME TOGETHER.
VACATION TIME TOGETHER.
MAYBE IT'S THEIR HONEYMOON.
MAYBE IT'S THEIR HONEYMOON.
WHO KNOWS? WHO KNOWS? YOU DON'T KNOW.
YOU DON'T KNOW.
THERE'S A MINI-BAR.
THERE'S A MINI-BAR.
AND HERE YOU HAVE THE MASTER AND HERE YOU HAVE THE MASTER BATH.
BATH.
SAL, JUST KEEP BRINGING EXTRA SAL, JUST KEEP BRINGING EXTRA TOWELS.
LET ME GIVE YOU A COUPLE OF TOWELS.
LET ME GIVE YOU A COUPLE OF EXTRA TOWELS.
LET ME GIVE YOU A COUPLE OF EXTRA TOWELS.
THAT'S THE -- THE NEW HOTEL, EXTRA TOWELS.
THAT'S THE -- THE NEW HOTEL, WITH THE -- THE CIRCLE ON TOP.
THAT'S THE -- THE NEW HOTEL, WITH THE -- THE CIRCLE ON TOP.
"THEY HAVE GREAT PORN OVER WITH THE -- THE CIRCLE ON TOP.
"THEY HAVE GREAT PORN OVER THERE.
" "THEY HAVE GREAT PORN OVER THERE.
" [ CHUCKLES .]
THERE.
" [ CHUCKLES .]
THEY HAVE SOME CRAZY PORN [ CHUCKLES .]
THEY HAVE SOME CRAZY PORN OPTIONS OVER THERE IF YOU -- IF THEY HAVE SOME CRAZY PORN OPTIONS OVER THERE IF YOU -- IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN THAT.
OPTIONS OVER THERE IF YOU -- IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN THAT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU'RE INTERESTED IN THAT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ALL RIGHT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ALL RIGHT.
JUST KEEP BRINGING TOWELS.
ALL RIGHT.
JUST KEEP BRINGING TOWELS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ONE LAST THING -- GO IN THE BATHROOM AND TAKE A SHOWER.
[ LAUGHTER .]
BATHROOM AND TAKE A SHOWER.
[ LAUGHTER .]
AND THEN JUST GIVE ME ONE [ LAUGHTER .]
AND THEN JUST GIVE ME ONE SPLIT SECOND HERE, GUYS.
AND THEN JUST GIVE ME ONE SPLIT SECOND HERE, GUYS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF, WALK OUT, GRAB A TOWEL, AND THEN WALK BACK IN.
OUT, GRAB A TOWEL, AND THEN WALK BACK IN.
YES, YES, YES, YES! BACK IN.
YES, YES, YES, YES! JUST ONE SEC.
YES, YES, YES, YES! JUST ONE SEC.
I JUST WANT TO GRAB ONE QUICK NO, NO.
I'M JUST FRESHENING.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE .]
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE .]
SHE FELL DOWN LAUGHING! AND SHE'S OUT! SHE FELL DOWN LAUGHING! AND SHE'S OUT! AND SHE'S ON THE FLOOR, AND SHE'S OUT! AND SHE'S ON THE FLOOR, LAUGHING.
AND SHE'S ON THE FLOOR, LAUGHING.
IT'S A SELL.
LAUGHING.
IT'S A SELL.
IT'S JUST A QUICK REFRESH.
IT'S A SELL.
IT'S JUST A QUICK REFRESH.
I'VE BEEN DOING A DOUBLE.
IT'S JUST A QUICK REFRESH.
I'VE BEEN DOING A DOUBLE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I'VE BEEN DOING A DOUBLE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
GET OUT THERE AND ASK FOR A [ LAUGHTER .]
GET OUT THERE AND ASK FOR A TIP.
GET OUT THERE AND ASK FOR A TIP.
WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN THERE? TIP.
WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN THERE? JUST -- I'VE BEEN UP AND DOWN WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN THERE? JUST -- I'VE BEEN UP AND DOWN ALL DAY.
JUST -- I'VE BEEN UP AND DOWN ALL DAY.
YEAH.
ALL DAY.
YEAH.
QUICK WASH-UP.
YEAH.
QUICK WASH-UP.
OH, OKAY.
QUICK WASH-UP.
OH, OKAY.
YEAH.
OH, OKAY.
YEAH.
SO, DO YOU -- THAT'S A TIP, YEAH.
SO, DO YOU -- THAT'S A TIP, THEN? SO, DO YOU -- THAT'S A TIP, THEN? YEAH.
THEN? YEAH.
OH, EXCELLENT.
THANK YOU.
YEAH.
OH, EXCELLENT.
THANK YOU.
All: AH! OH, EXCELLENT.
THANK YOU.
All: AH! A COUPLE BUCKS GOES A LONG All: AH! A COUPLE BUCKS GOES A LONG WAY WITH ME.
[ DING! .]
Narrator: JOE GOT Narrator: JOE GOT SHORTCHANGED, SO HE'S FIRST UP ON THE LOSER BOARD.
SHORTCHANGED, SO HE'S FIRST UP ON THE LOSER BOARD.
HOT DOG! ON THE LOSER BOARD.
HOT DOG! TODAY, WE'RE ON THE STREETS HOT DOG! TODAY, WE'RE ON THE STREETS OF NEW YORK CITY, MANNING THIS OF NEW YORK CITY, MANNING THIS HOT-DOG CART.
BUT, AS WE SERVE UP FRANKS TO THE PUBLIC, THE OTHER GUYS WILL THE PUBLIC, THE OTHER GUYS WILL BE TELLING US WHAT TO SAY AND BE TELLING US WHAT TO SAY AND DO.
DO.
IF YOU REFUSE, YOU LOSE.
IF YOU REFUSE, YOU LOSE.
THEN YOU WILL BE BOILED, THEN YOU WILL BE BOILED, SLATHERED IN RELISH, AND SERVED SLATHERED IN RELISH, AND SERVED UP ON A BUN.
UP ON A BUN.
SAL LOOKS PERFECTLY AT HOME SAL LOOKS PERFECTLY AT HOME SELLING HOT DOGS IN THE PARK.
SELLING HOT DOGS IN THE PARK.
RIGHT NOW -- HE LOOKS SO RIGHT NOW -- HE LOOKS SO NATURAL RIGHT NOW.
NATURAL RIGHT NOW.
SAL, SEE THE GUY DRINKING SAL, SEE THE GUY DRINKING FROM THE WATER FOUNTAIN? FROM THE WATER FOUNTAIN? OH, YEAH.
OH, YEAH.
GO GRAB HIS ASS WITH THE GO GRAB HIS ASS WITH THE TONGS.
TONGS.
OH, COME ON.
OH, COME ON.
GO GRAB HIS ASS WITH THE TONGS.
GO GRAB HIS ASS WITH THE TONGS.
HURRY.
TONGS.
HURRY.
OH, MY GOD! HURRY.
OH, MY GOD! [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
I'M SQUEEZING BUNS ALL DAY.
I CAN'T RESIST.
I'M SQUEEZING BUNS ALL DAY.
I CAN'T RESIST.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I CAN'T RESIST.
[ LAUGHTER .]
CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING? [ LAUGHTER .]
CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING? [ German accent .]
I'LL TAKE A CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING? [ German accent .]
I'LL TAKE A SPRITE.
[ German accent .]
I'LL TAKE A SPRITE.
YOU'LL TAKE A SPRITE? SPRITE.
YOU'LL TAKE A SPRITE? YEAH, SPRITE, PLEASE.
YOU'LL TAKE A SPRITE? YEAH, SPRITE, PLEASE.
WHERE ARE YOU FROM? YEAH, SPRITE, PLEASE.
WHERE ARE YOU FROM? I'M FROM GERMANY.
WHERE ARE YOU FROM? I'M FROM GERMANY.
OH, GERMANY, ALL RIGHT.
I'M FROM GERMANY.
OH, GERMANY, ALL RIGHT.
YEAH, YEAH.
OH, GERMANY, ALL RIGHT.
YEAH, YEAH.
"BOY, SPEAKING OF GERMANY" YEAH, YEAH.
"BOY, SPEAKING OF GERMANY" YOU KNOW, SPEAKING OF "BOY, SPEAKING OF GERMANY" YOU KNOW, SPEAKING OF GERMANY YOU KNOW, SPEAKING OF GERMANY "I JUST FOUND OUT TODAY GERMANY "I JUST FOUND OUT TODAY THAT I'M RELATED TO HITLER.
" "I JUST FOUND OUT TODAY THAT I'M RELATED TO HITLER.
" THERE IT IS -- THAT I'M RELATED TO HITLER.
" THERE IT IS -- THE HITLER JOKE -- THERE IT IS -- THE HITLER JOKE -- THE HITLER JOKE.
THE HITLER JOKE -- THE HITLER JOKE.
AH.
I JUST FOUND OUT TODAY -- THE HITLER JOKE.
AH.
I JUST FOUND OUT TODAY -- TODAY THAT I AM, UH, RELATED TO AH.
I JUST FOUND OUT TODAY -- TODAY THAT I AM, UH, RELATED TO THE FUEHRER THERE, THE TODAY THAT I AM, UH, RELATED TO THE FUEHRER THERE, THE HITLER.
THE FUEHRER THERE, THE HITLER.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HITLER.
[ LAUGHTER .]
WHAT? [ LAUGHTER .]
WHAT? YOU KNOW, HITLER.
HAVE A GREAT DAY, HON.
THANK YOU.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THANK YOU.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ALL RIGHT, SAL, MAKE THIS [ LAUGHTER .]
ALL RIGHT, SAL, MAKE THIS WHOLE HOT DOG, AND THEN JUST ALL RIGHT, SAL, MAKE THIS WHOLE HOT DOG, AND THEN JUST LAUNCH IT INTO THE PARK.
WHOLE HOT DOG, AND THEN JUST LAUNCH IT INTO THE PARK.
[ LAUGHTER .]
LAUNCH IT INTO THE PARK.
[ LAUGHTER .]
UH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
UH.
THROW THAT HOT DOG RIGHT INTO UH.
THROW THAT HOT DOG RIGHT INTO THE PARK.
THROW THAT HOT DOG RIGHT INTO THE PARK.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ALL RIGHT, SAL, MAKE THIS WHOLE HOT DOG, AND THEN JUST WHOLE HOT DOG, AND THEN JUST LAUNCH IT INTO THE PARK.
LAUNCH IT INTO THE PARK.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
UH.
UH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU SON OF A BITCH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU SON OF A BITCH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU SON OF A BITCH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YES.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YES.
YES.
YES.
YES.
NICE.
YES.
NICE.
[ LAUGHTER CONTINUES .]
[ LAUGHTER CONTINUES .]
[ DING! .]
WHAT'S UP? HOT DOG? YOU WANT A HOT DOG? YOU WANT A HOT DOG? I GET THE "HOT.
" I GET THE "HOT.
" WHY ARE THEY CALLED "DOGS"? WHY ARE THEY CALLED "DOGS"? WHAT'S UP? HOT DOG? WHAT'S UP? HOT DOG? YOU WA A HOT DOG? YOU WA A HOT DOG? WHY ISN'T IT CALLED A HOT WHY ISN'T IT CALLED A HOT PIG? PIG? RIGHT.
RIGHT.
IT'S PIGS IN A BLANKET.
IT'S PIGS IN A BLANKET.
IT'S PORK.
IT'S PORK.
I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW.
YOU HAVE GOOGLE.
ASK HIM.
ASK HIM? YOU HAVE GOOGLE.
ASK HIM.
ASK HIM? GOOGLE IS A MALE? ASK HIM? GOOGLE IS A MALE? WELL, IT KNOWS EVERYTHING.
GOOGLE IS A MALE? WELL, IT KNOWS EVERYTHING.
[ LAUGHTER .]
WELL, IT KNOWS EVERYTHING.
[ LAUGHTER .]
WHAT DO YOU WANT -- TWO HOT [ LAUGHTER .]
WHAT DO YOU WANT -- TWO HOT DOGS? WHAT DO YOU WANT -- TWO HOT DOGS? YEAH.
DOGS? YEAH.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME, BUD? YEAH.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME, BUD? WHAT'S YOUR NAME? WHAT'S YOUR NAME, BUD? WHAT'S YOUR NAME? MIKE.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME? MIKE.
MIKE.
MIKE.
MIKE.
YEAH.
MIKE.
YEAH.
WE PUT A MARKER IN BETWEEN YEAH.
WE PUT A MARKER IN BETWEEN THE BOXES THERE.
WE PUT A MARKER IN BETWEEN THE BOXES THERE.
LABEL THE BUN SO WE KNOW IT'S THE BOXES THERE.
LABEL THE BUN SO WE KNOW IT'S MIKE'S.
LABEL THE BUN SO WE KNOW IT'S MIKE'S.
OHH.
MIKE'S.
OHH.
YEAH.
OHH.
YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
THAT'S PERMANENT INK.
YELL, "MIKE!" THAT'S PERMANENT INK.
YELL, "MIKE!" JUST LIKE YOU'RE AT A COFFEE YELL, "MIKE!" JUST LIKE YOU'RE AT A COFFEE SHOP.
JUST LIKE YOU'RE AT A COFFEE SHOP.
MIKE! SHOP.
MIKE! [ LAUGHTER .]
MIKE! [ LAUGHTER .]
OH, YOU'RE MIKE? [ LAUGHTER .]
OH, YOU'RE MIKE? THERE YOU GO.
OH, YOU'RE MIKE? THERE YOU GO.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THERE YOU GO.
[ LAUGHTER .]
WHAT'S GOING ON, CHAMP? TWO WITH KETCHUP AND MUSTARD.
DUDE, THIS GUY'S UNDERCOVER.
YEAH, HE'S DEFINITELY AN DUDE, THIS GUY'S UNDERCOVER.
YEAH, HE'S DEFINITELY AN UNDERCOVER COP.
YEAH, HE'S DEFINITELY AN UNDERCOVER COP.
I THINK SO.
UNDERCOVER COP.
I THINK SO.
HE'S GOT TO TELL YOU IF HE'S I THINK SO.
HE'S GOT TO TELL YOU IF HE'S A COP.
HE'S GOT TO TELL YOU IF HE'S A COP.
HE'S GOT TO TELL YOU.
A COP.
HE'S GOT TO TELL YOU.
YEAH, EVERYONE KNOWS THAT.
HE'S GOT TO TELL YOU.
YEAH, EVERYONE KNOWS THAT.
YEAH, IT'S THE LAW.
YEAH, EVERYONE KNOWS THAT.
YEAH, IT'S THE LAW.
YOU KNOW, YOU GOT TO -- YOU YEAH, IT'S THE LAW.
YOU KNOW, YOU GOT TO -- YOU GOT TO TELL ME IF YOU'RE A COP.
YOU KNOW, YOU GOT TO -- YOU GOT TO TELL ME IF YOU'RE A COP.
[ LAUGHTER .]
"SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING A COP WOULD SAY.
" [ LAUGHTER .]
WOULD SAY.
" [ LAUGHTER .]
SAYING, "I'M AUSTRALIAN.
[ LAUGHTER .]
SAYING, "I'M AUSTRALIAN.
I CAN'T BE A COP," SOUNDS SAYING, "I'M AUSTRALIAN.
I CAN'T BE A COP," SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE WHAT A COP WOULD I CAN'T BE A COP," SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE WHAT A COP WOULD SAY.
EXACTLY LIKE WHAT A COP WOULD SAY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
VERY CAUTIOUSLY TRY TO SELL HIM DRUGS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HIM DRUGS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HOW MANY GRAMS OF MUSTARD DO [ LAUGHTER .]
HOW MANY GRAMS OF MUSTARD DO YOU WANT? HOW MANY GRAMS OF MUSTARD DO YOU WANT? [ LAUGHTER .]
YOU WANT? [ LAUGHTER .]
COLOMBIAN? COLOMBIAN? HERE YOU GO.
YOU'VE TAKEN THE SPECIAL HOT DOG, THE COLOMBIAN STUFF? DOG, THE COLOMBIAN STUFF? "OKAY, WELL, YOU'RE UNDER "OKAY, WELL, YOU'RE UNDER ARREST.
" YOU'RE UNDER ARREST, PAL.
ARREST.
" YOU'RE UNDER ARREST, PAL.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
WELCOME TO AMERICA, SCUMBAG.
[ DING! .]
$1 HOT DOGS, $1 HOT DOGS.
$1 HOT DOGS, $1 HOT DOGS.
[ WHISTLING .]
[ WHISTLING .]
HOW HAS HE NOT INSTAGRAMMED HOW HAS HE NOT INSTAGRAMMED THE PHOTO OF HIMSELF IN A THE PHOTO OF HIMSELF IN A HOT-DOG COSTUME YET? HOT-DOG COSTUME YET? I CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITH -- WITH I CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITH -- WITH THIS GUY WITHOUT, LIKE, HIM JUST THIS GUY WITHOUT, LIKE, HIM JUST TAKING A STUPID PHOTO OF HIM IN TAKING A STUPID PHOTO OF HIM IN A STUPID POSE.
A STUPID POSE.
PULL HIM UP ON SOCIAL MEDIA.
PULL HIM UP ON SOCIAL MEDIA.
YEAH, LET'S PULL UP SOME SOCIAL MEDIA.
YEAH, LET'S PULL UP SOME SOCIAL MEDIA.
MURR, YOU CAN ONLY TALK IN SOCIAL MEDIA.
MURR, YOU CAN ONLY TALK IN YOUR TWEETS.
MURR, YOU CAN ONLY TALK IN YOUR TWEETS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
COME ON, MAN.
[ BEEPS .]
"I JUICED THE [BLEEP.]
OUT OF "I JUICED THE [BLEEP.]
OUT OF FRUITS AND VEGETABLES TONIGHT FRUITS AND VEGETABLES TONIGHT WITH MY BRAND NEW JUICER.
WITH MY BRAND NEW JUICER.
SUCK IT, ASPARAGUS.
" SUCK IT, ASPARAGUS.
" [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE .]
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE .]
THAT'S WHAT HE WROTE?! THAT'S WHAT HE WROTE?! THAT'S HIS TWEET.
LET ME TELL YOU, MAN -- I THAT'S HIS TWEET.
LET ME TELL YOU, MAN -- I JUICED THE [BLEEP.]
OUT OF FRUITS LET ME TELL YOU, MAN -- I JUICED THE [BLEEP.]
OUT OF FRUITS AND VEGGIES LAST NIGHT WITH MY JUICED THE [BLEEP.]
OUT OF FRUITS AND VEGGIES LAST NIGHT WITH MY BRAND-NEW JUICER.
AND VEGGIES LAST NIGHT WITH MY BRAND-NEW JUICER.
SUCK IT, ASPARAGUS, RIGHT? BRAND-NEW JUICER.
SUCK IT, ASPARAGUS, RIGHT? "QUICK QUESTION FOR YOU.
" "QUICK QUESTION FOR YOU.
" QUICK QUESTION.
[ LAUGHTER .]
GO AHEAD.
GO AHEAD.
HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU BROKE HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU BROKE YOUR FINGER? YOUR FINGER? #IThinkIBrokeMyFinger.
#IThinkIBrokeMyFinger.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
#IThinkIBrokeMyFinger.
#IThinkIBrokeMyFinger.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING -- WHY AM I DOING HASHTAGS IN I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING -- WHY AM I DOING HASHTAGS IN PUBLIC, RIGHT? WHY AM I DOING HASHTAGS IN PUBLIC, RIGHT? THANK YOU, MAN.
PUBLIC, RIGHT? THANK YOU, MAN.
YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY.
THANK YOU, MAN.
YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY.
YOU [BLEEP.]
YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY.
YOU [BLEEP.]
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU [BLEEP.]
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH, HI, BUDDY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH, HI, BUDDY.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE MONEY.
OH, HI, BUDDY.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE MONEY.
WHAT IS THIS FOR? THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE MONEY.
WHAT IS THIS FOR? "A PRETZEL, PLEASE"? WHAT IS THIS FOR? "A PRETZEL, PLEASE"? THAT'S THE CUTEST KID.
"A PRETZEL, PLEASE"? THAT'S THE CUTEST KID.
"HE'S A SEXY LITTLE FELLA.
" THAT'S THE CUTEST KID.
"HE'S A SEXY LITTLE FELLA.
" OHH.
"HE'S A SEXY LITTLE FELLA.
" OHH.
OH, MY GOD.
OHH.
OH, MY GOD.
HE'S SUCH A CUTE KID.
OH, MY GOD.
HE'S SUCH A CUTE KID.
OHH, ARE YOU SERIOUS? HE'S SUCH A CUTE KID.
OHH, ARE YOU SERIOUS? YES, YES, YES.
OHH, ARE YOU SERIOUS? YES, YES, YES.
OH, MY GOD.
GUYS, NO.
YES, YES, YES.
OH, MY GOD.
GUYS, NO.
DO IT.
OH, MY GOD.
GUYS, NO.
DO IT.
YOU WANTED ONE SALTED DO IT.
YOU WANTED ONE SALTED PRETZEL? YOU WANTED ONE SALTED PRETZEL? YOU -- YOU'RE A SEXY LITTLE PRETZEL? YOU -- YOU'RE A SEXY LITTLE FELLA, HUH? YOU -- YOU'RE A SEXY LITTLE FELLA, HUH? [ LAUGHTER .]
FELLA, HUH? [ LAUGHTER .]
HE SAID, "THANK YOU A LOT, [ LAUGHTER .]
HE SAID, "THANK YOU A LOT, SIR.
" HE SAID, "THANK YOU A LOT, SIR.
" OKAY.
ENJOY IT.
SIR.
" OKAY.
ENJOY IT.
TAKE THE KID'S HAT AND JUST OKAY.
ENJOY IT.
TAKE THE KID'S HAT AND JUST THROW IT.
TAKE THE KID'S HAT AND JUST THROW IT.
[ Laughing .]
OH, MY GOD.
THROW IT.
[ Laughing .]
OH, MY GOD.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
[ Laughing .]
OH, MY GOD.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
NO WAY.
NO WAY.
MAN, OH, MAN.
[ BUZZER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
DA-TONG, TA-TONG, DA-TONG, TA-TONG, TONG, TONG TONG, TONG [ LAUGHTER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
HELLO.
HELLO.
HEY, MY MAN.
HEY, MY MAN.
CAN I GET A BOTTLE OF WATER? CAN I GET A BOTTLE OF WATER? BOTTLE OF WATER? YEP.
BOTTLE OF WATER? YEP.
THIS GUY'S YOUR MILLIONTH THIS GUY'S YOUR MILLIONTH CUSTOMER? CUSTOMER? HE IS! HE IS! YOU'RE MY MILLIONTH CUSTOMER.
AM I REALLY? YOU'RE MY MILLIONTH CUSTOMER.
AM I REALLY? YES.
AM I REALLY? YES.
JOE, GRAB THE CONFETTI THAT YES.
JOE, GRAB THE CONFETTI THAT WE HID IN THE TOP RIGHT OF THE JOE, GRAB THE CONFETTI THAT WE HID IN THE TOP RIGHT OF THE CART WE HID IN THE TOP RIGHT OF THE CART SO CART SO AND SLING IT AT THIS MAN.
SO AND SLING IT AT THIS MAN.
[ LAUGHTER .]
AND SLING IT AT THIS MAN.
[ LAUGHTER .]
BOTTLE OF WATER.
[ LAUGHTER .]
BOTTLE OF WATER.
THERE YOU GO.
BOTTLE OF WATER.
THERE YOU GO.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THERE YOU GO.
[ LAUGHTER .]
CONGRATULATIONS.
[ LAUGHTER .]
CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU'RE THE MILLIONTH CUSTOMER.
CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU'RE THE MILLIONTH CUSTOMER.
[ LAUGHTER .]
YOU'RE THE MILLIONTH CUSTOMER.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THANK YOU.
[ LAUGHTER .]
THANK YOU.
THAT GUY SPIT OUT CONFETTI.
THANK YOU.
THAT GUY SPIT OUT CONFETTI.
THANK YOU, SIR.
THAT GUY SPIT OUT CONFETTI.
THANK YOU, SIR.
CONGRATULATIONS.
THANK YOU, SIR.
CONGRATULATIONS.
CONFETTI.
CONGRATULATIONS.
CONFETTI.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE .]
CONFETTI.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE .]
WHAT'S UP, BUD? [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE .]
WHAT'S UP, BUD? WHAT CAN I GET YOU? WHAT'S UP, BUD? WHAT CAN I GET YOU? "YOU KNOW WHAT I CALL A PIG WHAT CAN I GET YOU? "YOU KNOW WHAT I CALL A PIG IN A BLANKET?" "YOU KNOW WHAT I CALL A PIG IN A BLANKET?" YOU KNOW WHAT -- YOU KNOW IN A BLANKET?" YOU KNOW WHAT -- YOU KNOW WHAT I CALL A PIG IN A BLANKET? YOU KNOW WHAT -- YOU KNOW WHAT I CALL A PIG IN A BLANKET? "MY WIFE ON A COLD DAY.
" WHAT I CALL A PIG IN A BLANKET? "MY WIFE ON A COLD DAY.
" OH, WOW! "MY WIFE ON A COLD DAY.
" OH, WOW! CAN'T MAKE THOSE JOKES ANYMORE.
OH, WOW! CAN'T MAKE THOSE JOKES ANYMORE.
I CAN'T MAKE THOSE JOKES.
CAN'T MAKE THOSE JOKES ANYMORE.
I CAN'T MAKE THOSE JOKES.
SHE WATCHES THE SHOW, SO I CAN'T MAKE THOSE JOKES.
SHE WATCHES THE SHOW, SO HE'S MARRIED NOW.
SHE WATCHES THE SHOW, SO HE'S MARRIED NOW.
SO I'D RATHER TAKE THAT HE'S MARRIED NOW.
SO I'D RATHER TAKE THAT INSTEAD OF WHAT'S GOING ON, SO I'D RATHER TAKE THAT INSTEAD OF WHAT'S GOING ON, BECAUSE THE WRATH OF THAT IS INSTEAD OF WHAT'S GOING ON, BECAUSE THE WRATH OF THAT IS MUCH WORSE THAN ANYTHING THESE BECAUSE THE WRATH OF THAT IS MUCH WORSE THAN ANYTHING THESE GUYS COULD THINK OF.
MUCH WORSE THAN ANYTHING THESE GUYS COULD THINK OF.
[ LAUGHTER .]
GUYS COULD THINK OF.
[ LAUGHTER .]
SMART MAN -- THAT IS A SMART [ LAUGHTER .]
SMART MAN -- THAT IS A SMART MAN.
SMART MAN -- THAT IS A SMART MAN.
THEY FOUND THE ACHILLES' MAN.
THEY FOUND THE ACHILLES' HEEL, I THINK.
THEY FOUND THE ACHILLES' HEEL, I THINK.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HEEL, I THINK.
[ LAUGHTER .]
WE GOT IT! [ LAUGHTER .]
WE GOT IT! MOST OF THE OTHER ONES WE GOT IT! MOST OF THE OTHER ONES HAVEN'T FOUND LOVE IN A REAL MOST OF THE OTHER ONES HAVEN'T FOUND LOVE IN A REAL WAY.
HAVEN'T FOUND LOVE IN A REAL WAY.
[ BUZZER .]
WAY.
[ BUZZER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ BUZZER .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
Narrator: JOE AND MURR [ LAUGHTER .]
Narrator: JOE AND MURR COULDN'T CATCH UP TO THE OTHER Narrator: JOE AND MURR COULDN'T CATCH UP TO THE OTHER GUYS, SO THEY'RE ON THE LOSER GUYS, SO THEY'RE ON THE LOSER BOARD.
COMING UP WHAT HAPPENS WHEN TONIGHT'S BIG WHAT HAPPENS WHEN TONIGHT'S BIG LOSER IS FORCED TO FACE HIS LOSER IS FORCED TO FACE HIS BIGGEST FEAR? BIGGEST FEAR? All: GERONIMO! All: GERONIMO! AAH! AAH! DAMN, BOY! IT'S A JOKER SHOWDOWN -- SAL VERSUS MURR.
IT'S A JOKER SHOWDOWN -- SAL VERSUS MURR.
TODAY, WE'RE COMPETING SAL VERSUS MURR.
TODAY, WE'RE COMPETING HEAD-TO-HEAD, PITCHING OUR TODAY, WE'RE COMPETING HEAD-TO-HEAD, PITCHING OUR BRAND-NEW INVENTIONS TO A FOCUS HEAD-TO-HEAD, PITCHING OUR BRAND-NEW INVENTIONS TO A FOCUS GROUP.
BRAND-NEW INVENTIONS TO A FOCUS GROUP.
THE CATCH IS OUR INVENTIONS GROUP.
THE CATCH IS OUR INVENTIONS HAVE BEEN CREATED BY THE OTHER HAVE BEEN CREATED BY THE OTHER TWO GUYS.
THE GOAL IS TO CONVINCE A GROUP THAT YOUR PRODUCT IS THE GROUP THAT YOUR PRODUCT IS THE BETTER OF THE TWO.
BETTER OF THE TWO.
THIS GROUP -- BY SHOW OF THIS GROUP -- BY SHOW OF HANDS WHICH INVENTION THEY LIKE HANDS WHICH INVENTION THEY LIKE THE BEST.
THE BEST.
IF YOUR PRODUCT GETS THE IF YOUR PRODUCT GETS THE LEAST AMOUNT OF VOTES, YOU LOSE.
LEAST AMOUNT OF VOTES, YOU LOSE.
Narrator: IT'S A JOKER Narrator: IT'S A JOKER SHOWDOWN DOUBLE DOWN.
SHOWDOWN DOUBLE DOWN.
HI.
HOW ARE YOU GUYS? HI.
HOW ARE YOU GUYS? PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.
PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.
I'M SAL VULCANO.
I'M SAL VULCANO.
EDWARD.
EDWARD.
THESE GUYS JUST FIGHT ABOUT THESE GUYS JUST FIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING.
EVERYTHING.
COME ON AND HAVE A SEAT, COME ON AND HAVE A SEAT, PLEASE.
PLEASE.
DO YOU THINK THEY WOULD BE DO YOU THINK THEY WOULD BE FRIENDS IF WE WEREN'T IN THE FRIENDS IF WE WEREN'T IN THE PICTURE? PICTURE? NO! NO! MY PRODUCT THAT I'M GONNA BE MY PRODUCT THAT I'M GONNA BE TALKING ABOUT TODAY TALKING ABOUT TODAY [ BOTH LAUGH .]
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
IS THE 47 HOUR ENERGY BAR.
IS THE 47 HOUR ENERGY BAR.
[ CHUCKLES .]
[ CHUCKLES .]
FINALLY, RIGHT? AND THEN, THE OTHER PRODUCT, FINALLY, RIGHT? AND THEN, THE OTHER PRODUCT, THAT I'M GOING TO BE SHOWING AND THEN, THE OTHER PRODUCT, THAT I'M GOING TO BE SHOWING YOU, IS THAT I'M GOING TO BE SHOWING YOU, IS [ BOTH LAUGH .]
YOU, IS [ BOTH LAUGH .]
THEY'RE WIRELESS TIN CANS.
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
THEY'RE WIRELESS TIN CANS.
WE CALL THESE THE "CANTENNAS.
" THEY'RE WIRELESS TIN CANS.
WE CALL THESE THE "CANTENNAS.
" [ BOTH LAUGH .]
WE CALL THESE THE "CANTENNAS.
" [ BOTH LAUGH .]
OKAY.
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
OKAY.
[ CHUCKLES .]
OKAY.
[ CHUCKLES .]
ARE YOU LIKE ME? [ CHUCKLES .]
ARE YOU LIKE ME? [ BOTH LAUGH .]
ARE YOU LIKE ME? [ BOTH LAUGH .]
DO YOU FIND YOURSELF GETTING [ BOTH LAUGH .]
DO YOU FIND YOURSELF GETTING DREARY AND WEARY AT THE 46th DO YOU FIND YOURSELF GETTING DREARY AND WEARY AT THE 46th HOUR? DREARY AND WEARY AT THE 46th HOUR? I KEPT ON FINDING THAT, AROUND HOUR? I KEPT ON FINDING THAT, AROUND THE 46th HOUR, I WOULD START TO I KEPT ON FINDING THAT, AROUND THE 46th HOUR, I WOULD START TO GET TIRED, AND I NEEDED THE 46th HOUR, I WOULD START TO GET TIRED, AND I NEEDED SOMETHING TO GET ME THROUGH GET TIRED, AND I NEEDED SOMETHING TO GET ME THROUGH THAT.
SOMETHING TO GET ME THROUGH THAT.
WAIT.
THIS IS GONNA BE THE THAT.
WAIT.
THIS IS GONNA BE THE SIZE OF IT? WAIT.
THIS IS GONNA BE THE SIZE OF IT? THAT IS THE SIZE OF IT.
SIZE OF IT? THAT IS THE SIZE OF IT.
HOW MUCH OF IT DO YOU NEED TO THAT IS THE SIZE OF IT.
HOW MUCH OF IT DO YOU NEED TO EAT TO GET YOUR HOW MUCH OF IT DO YOU NEED TO EAT TO GET YOUR THE WHOLE BAR.
EAT TO GET YOUR THE WHOLE BAR.
IF YOU WANT ALL 47 HOURS, THE WHOLE BAR.
IF YOU WANT ALL 47 HOURS, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO EAT THE IF YOU WANT ALL 47 HOURS, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO EAT THE WHOLE THING.
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO EAT THE WHOLE THING.
[ LAUGHTER .]
WHOLE THING.
[ LAUGHTER .]
SAY THAT YOU NEED [ LAUGHTER .]
SAY THAT YOU NEED SAY THAT YOU NEED RIGHT ABOUT THERE.
RIGHT ABOUT THERE.
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
RIGHT ABOUT THERE.
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
NOW, YOU'VE SEEN TIN CANS [ BOTH LAUGH .]
NOW, YOU'VE SEEN TIN CANS BEFORE THAT HAVE BEEN JOINED BY NOW, YOU'VE SEEN TIN CANS BEFORE THAT HAVE BEEN JOINED BY STRING.
BEFORE THAT HAVE BEEN JOINED BY STRING.
SO, IN THE PAST, YOU'VE BEEN STRING.
SO, IN THE PAST, YOU'VE BEEN LIMITED TO THE DISTANCE THAT YOU SO, IN THE PAST, YOU'VE BEEN LIMITED TO THE DISTANCE THAT YOU CAN COMMUNICATE WITH PEOPLE.
LIMITED TO THE DISTANCE THAT YOU CAN COMMUNICATE WITH PEOPLE.
SO, FOR EXAMPLE, YOU TALK INTO CAN COMMUNICATE WITH PEOPLE.
SO, FOR EXAMPLE, YOU TALK INTO THIS END WHILE THE OTHER SO, FOR EXAMPLE, YOU TALK INTO THIS END WHILE THE OTHER PERSON'S LISTENING, AND YOU THIS END WHILE THE OTHER PERSON'S LISTENING, AND YOU JUST, YOU KNOW -- AND IT'S PERSON'S LISTENING, AND YOU JUST, YOU KNOW -- AND IT'S VERY -- AND THEN, YOU CAN JUST, YOU KNOW -- AND IT'S VERY -- AND THEN, YOU CAN SWITCH, AND THE OTHER PERSON CAN VERY -- AND THEN, YOU CAN SWITCH, AND THE OTHER PERSON CAN LISTEN AS YOU'RE TALKING.
SWITCH, AND THE OTHER PERSON CAN LISTEN AS YOU'RE TALKING.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? LISTEN AS YOU'RE TALKING.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? IT'S VERY MUCH LIKE THAT.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? IT'S VERY MUCH LIKE THAT.
THEY CONNECT INTO ANY KIND OF IT'S VERY MUCH LIKE THAT.
THEY CONNECT INTO ANY KIND OF WI-FI SYSTEM THAT YOU'VE GOT, THEY CONNECT INTO ANY KIND OF WI-FI SYSTEM THAT YOU'VE GOT, TOO.
WI-FI SYSTEM THAT YOU'VE GOT, TOO.
WHY WOULDN'T I JUST USE MY TOO.
WHY WOULDN'T I JUST USE MY CELLPHONE? WHY WOULDN'T I JUST USE MY CELLPHONE? HELLO! DATA PLAN COSTS! CELLPHONE? HELLO! DATA PLAN COSTS! RIGHT? HELLO! DATA PLAN COSTS! RIGHT? [ BOTH LAUGH .]
RIGHT? [ BOTH LAUGH .]
$10 FOR MY DATA PLAN, [ BOTH LAUGH .]
$10 FOR MY DATA PLAN, UNLIMITED.
$10 FOR MY DATA PLAN, UNLIMITED.
THERE IS NO DATA PLAN FOR UNLIMITED.
THERE IS NO DATA PLAN FOR THESE.
THERE IS NO DATA PLAN FOR THESE.
THIS FITS RIGHT IN MY POCKET.
THESE.
THIS FITS RIGHT IN MY POCKET.
YOU KNOW WHAT DOESN'T FIT IN THIS FITS RIGHT IN MY POCKET.
YOU KNOW WHAT DOESN'T FIT IN YOUR POCKET? YOU KNOW WHAT DOESN'T FIT IN YOUR POCKET? A 4-POUND BAR.
YOUR POCKET? A 4-POUND BAR.
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
A 4-POUND BAR.
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
IT DOESN'T EVEN FIT IN YOUR [ BOTH LAUGH .]
IT DOESN'T EVEN FIT IN YOUR STOMACH.
IT DOESN'T EVEN FIT IN YOUR STOMACH.
THIS IS ALSO EXTREMELY HEAVY.
STOMACH.
THIS IS ALSO EXTREMELY HEAVY.
THAT'S -- THAT'S A SOLID FOOT.
THIS IS ALSO EXTREMELY HEAVY.
THAT'S -- THAT'S A SOLID FOOT.
HOW WOULD YOU BRING THAT AROUND? THAT'S -- THAT'S A SOLID FOOT.
HOW WOULD YOU BRING THAT AROUND? EXTREMELY HEAVY FOR WHO -- HOW WOULD YOU BRING THAT AROUND? EXTREMELY HEAVY FOR WHO -- A SMURF? EXTREMELY HEAVY FOR WHO -- A SMURF? [ LAUGHTER .]
A SMURF? [ LAUGHTER .]
WOW, IT'S HEATED IN THAT [ LAUGHTER .]
WOW, IT'S HEATED IN THAT ROOM.
WOW, IT'S HEATED IN THAT ROOM.
DAMN.
ROOM.
DAMN.
HOW MANY OF YOU WOULD BRING DAMN.
HOW MANY OF YOU WOULD BRING THE CANTENNAS TO MARKET, BY SHOW HOW MANY OF YOU WOULD BRING THE CANTENNAS TO MARKET, BY SHOW OF HANDS? THE CANTENNAS TO MARKET, BY SHOW OF HANDS? I STICK WITH MY VOTE.
OF HANDS? I STICK WITH MY VOTE.
SO, ONE.
I STICK WITH MY VOTE.
SO, ONE.
HOW MANY OF YOU GUYS THINK AN SO, ONE.
HOW MANY OF YOU GUYS THINK AN ORGANIC, ALL-NATURAL ENERGY IS HOW MANY OF YOU GUYS THINK AN ORGANIC, ALL-NATURAL ENERGY IS THE WAY TO GO? ORGANIC, ALL-NATURAL ENERGY IS THE WAY TO GO? ONE, TWO, THREE.
THE WAY TO GO? ONE, TWO, THREE.
THREE.
THREE.
ONE, TWO, THREE.
THREE.
THREE.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
BOOM! [ BUZZER .]
AND MURR'S OUT.
AND MURR'S OUT.
Narrator: MURR COULDN'T Narrator: MURR COULDN'T INVENT HIS WAY OUT OF THIS ONE, SO HE'S TONIGHT'S BIG LOSER.
INVENT HIS WAY OUT OF THIS ONE, SO HE'S TONIGHT'S BIG LOSER.
THERE'S A REASON WE'RE OVER SO HE'S TONIGHT'S BIG LOSER.
THERE'S A REASON WE'RE OVER HERE AND MURR IS OVER THERE.
THERE'S A REASON WE'RE OVER HERE AND MURR IS OVER THERE.
[ LAUGHS .]
HERE AND MURR IS OVER THERE.
[ LAUGHS .]
TODAY, WE MADE THIS MURRAY'S [ LAUGHS .]
TODAY, WE MADE THIS MURRAY'S PUNISHMENT.
TODAY, WE MADE THIS MURRAY'S PUNISHMENT.
HE THINKS THAT WE'RE TEACHING PUNISHMENT.
HE THINKS THAT WE'RE TEACHING CLASSES.
HE THINKS THAT WE'RE TEACHING CLASSES.
LOOK AT THAT IDIOT.
CLASSES.
LOOK AT THAT IDIOT.
LOOK AT HIM OVER THERE.
LOOK AT THAT IDIOT.
LOOK AT HIM OVER THERE.
WE'VE BEEN KEEPING THIS LOOK AT HIM OVER THERE.
WE'VE BEEN KEEPING THIS SECRET FOR A LONG TIME, AND I WE'VE BEEN KEEPING THIS SECRET FOR A LONG TIME, AND I CAN'T WAIT TO REVEAL IT.
SECRET FOR A LONG TIME, AND I CAN'T WAIT TO REVEAL IT.
IF YOU'VE SEEN ME ON THE CAN'T WAIT TO REVEAL IT.
IF YOU'VE SEEN ME ON THE STREET AND I'VE LOOKED HAPPY IF YOU'VE SEEN ME ON THE STREET AND I'VE LOOKED HAPPY LATELY STREET AND I'VE LOOKED HAPPY LATELY IT'S 'CAUSE OF THIS.
LATELY IT'S 'CAUSE OF THIS.
IT'S 'CAUSE OF THIS -- IT'S 'CAUSE OF THIS.
IT'S 'CAUSE OF THIS -- THIS DAY.
IT'S 'CAUSE OF THIS -- THIS DAY.
TODAY, WE'RE TEAMING UP AT THIS DAY.
TODAY, WE'RE TEAMING UP AT SKYDIVE LONG ISLAND IN TODAY, WE'RE TEAMING UP AT SKYDIVE LONG ISLAND IN CALVERTON, TEACHING PEOPLE HOW SKYDIVE LONG ISLAND IN CALVERTON, TEACHING PEOPLE HOW TO JUMP OUT OF PLANES.
CALVERTON, TEACHING PEOPLE HOW TO JUMP OUT OF PLANES.
Together: WELL TO JUMP OUT OF PLANES.
Together: WELL MAYBE WE'RE NOT, MURR.
Together: WELL MAYBE WE'RE NOT, MURR.
MAYBE IT'S YOUR PUNISHMENT.
MAYBE WE'RE NOT, MURR.
MAYBE IT'S YOUR PUNISHMENT.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
MAYBE IT'S YOUR PUNISHMENT.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
NO, IT'S NOT! NO, NO, NO, NO.
NO, IT'S NOT! NO, IT IS NOT! NO, IT'S NOT! NO, IT IS NOT! NO, NO, NO! [ RUMBLING .]
TODAY, WE'RE TEAMING UP AT SKYDIVE LONG ISLAND IN TODAY, WE'RE TEAMING UP AT SKYDIVE LONG ISLAND IN CALVERTON, TEACHING PEOPLE HOW SKYDIVE LONG ISLAND IN CALVERTON, TEACHING PEOPLE HOW TO JUMP OUT OF PLANES.
CALVERTON, TEACHING PEOPLE HOW TO JUMP OUT OF PLANES.
Together: WELL TO JUMP OUT OF PLANES.
Together: WELL MAYBE WE'RE NOT, MURR.
Together: WELL MAYBE WE'RE NOT, MURR.
MAYBE IT'S YOUR PUNISHMENT.
MAYBE WE'RE NOT, MURR.
MAYBE IT'S YOUR PUNISHMENT.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
MAYBE IT'S YOUR PUNISHMENT.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
NO, IT'S NOT! NO, NO, NO, NO.
NO, IT'S NOT! NO, IT IS NOT.
NO, IT'S NOT! NO, IT IS NOT.
THERE'S NO [BLEEP.]
WAY I'M NO, IT IS NOT.
THERE'S NO [BLEEP.]
WAY I'M JUMPING OUT OF A PLANE! THERE'S NO [BLEEP.]
WAY I'M JUMPING OUT OF A PLANE! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! JUMPING OUT OF A PLANE! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! YOU NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! YOU NO, NO [BLEEP.]
WAY! YOU NO, NO [BLEEP.]
WAY! NO WAY! NO, NO [BLEEP.]
WAY! NO WAY! THE EPISODE NO WAY! THE EPISODE IT'S NOT HAPPENING.
THE EPISODE IT'S NOT HAPPENING.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! IT'S NOT HAPPENING.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! SO, MURRAY THOUGHT WE WERE NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! SO, MURRAY THOUGHT WE WERE COMING HERE TO TEACH CLASSES SO, MURRAY THOUGHT WE WERE COMING HERE TO TEACH CLASSES TODAY COMING HERE TO TEACH CLASSES TODAY NO, NO WE'RE NOT! TODAY NO, NO WE'RE NOT! BUT IN FACT, IT'S HIS NO, NO WE'RE NOT! BUT IN FACT, IT'S HIS PUNISHMENT.
BUT IN FACT, IT'S HIS PUNISHMENT.
MURRAY IS DEATHLY, DEATHLY PUNISHMENT.
MURRAY IS DEATHLY, DEATHLY AFRAID OF SKYDIVING -- HIS MURRAY IS DEATHLY, DEATHLY AFRAID OF SKYDIVING -- HIS ENTIRE LIFE, SAYING HE WILL AFRAID OF SKYDIVING -- HIS ENTIRE LIFE, SAYING HE WILL NEVER DO IT.
ENTIRE LIFE, SAYING HE WILL NEVER DO IT.
I AM NOT JUMPING -- NO WAY.
NEVER DO IT.
I AM NOT JUMPING -- NO WAY.
HE'S AFRAID OF HEIGHTS.
I AM NOT JUMPING -- NO WAY.
HE'S AFRAID OF HEIGHTS.
NO, I'M NOT DOING IT.
HE'S AFRAID OF HEIGHTS.
NO, I'M NOT DOING IT.
MURRAY, I DROVE YOU HERE.
NO, I'M NOT DOING IT.
MURRAY, I DROVE YOU HERE.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING? MURRAY, I DROVE YOU HERE.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING? [ LAUGHTER .]
WHERE ARE YOU GOING? [ LAUGHTER .]
OH.
ALL RIGHT.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH.
ALL RIGHT.
LET'S GET A NEW SUIT.
OH.
ALL RIGHT.
LET'S GET A NEW SUIT.
I'M NOT DOING IT, MAN.
LET'S GET A NEW SUIT.
I'M NOT DOING IT, MAN.
START THE VAN.
I'M GOING.
I'M NOT DOING IT, MAN.
START THE VAN.
I'M GOING.
GIVE ME THE [BLEEP.]
KEYS.
START THE VAN.
I'M GOING.
GIVE ME THE [BLEEP.]
KEYS.
I'M NOT DOING IT.
GIVE ME THE [BLEEP.]
KEYS.
I'M NOT DOING IT.
THIS IS A JOKE, RIGHT? I'M NOT DOING IT.
THIS IS A JOKE, RIGHT? I'M NOT DOING IT.
THIS IS A JOKE, RIGHT? I'M NOT DOING IT.
THIS IS I'M NOT DOING IT.
THIS IS IT'S NO JOKE, BRO.
THIS IS IT'S NO JOKE, BRO.
PUT YOUR SUIT ON AND MAN UP, IT'S NO JOKE, BRO.
PUT YOUR SUIT ON AND MAN UP, BUDDY.
PUT YOUR SUIT ON AND MAN UP, BUDDY.
THIS IS [BLEEP.]
MAN.
BUDDY.
THIS IS [BLEEP.]
MAN.
WHAT IF THIS GOES WRONG, GUYS? THIS IS [BLEEP.]
MAN.
WHAT IF THIS GOES WRONG, GUYS? WELL, WE'LL MOURN YOU.
WHAT IF THIS GOES WRONG, GUYS? WELL, WE'LL MOURN YOU.
[ LAUGHS .]
WELL, WE'LL MOURN YOU.
[ LAUGHS .]
I'M SHAKING RIGHT NOW.
[ LAUGHS .]
I'M SHAKING RIGHT NOW.
WAIT.
HOLD ON.
I'M SHAKING RIGHT NOW.
WAIT.
HOLD ON.
HOLY [BLEEP.]
WAIT.
HOLD ON.
HOLY [BLEEP.]
HE HAS A HEART.
HOLY [BLEEP.]
HE HAS A HEART.
[ LAUGHTER .]
HE HAS A HEART.
[ LAUGHTER .]
IT'S PUNISHMENT, AND YOU KNOW [ LAUGHTER .]
IT'S PUNISHMENT, AND YOU KNOW THAT -- YOU HAVE TO DO IT.
IT'S PUNISHMENT, AND YOU KNOW THAT -- YOU HAVE TO DO IT.
BUT WE ALL MADE A PACT YEARS AGO THAT -- YOU HAVE TO DO IT.
BUT WE ALL MADE A PACT YEARS AGO THAT YOU CAN'T SAY NO TO BUT WE ALL MADE A PACT YEARS AGO THAT YOU CAN'T SAY NO TO PUNISHMENTS.
THAT YOU CAN'T SAY NO TO PUNISHMENTS.
THIS IS BEYOND.
PUNISHMENTS.
THIS IS BEYOND.
IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER, THIS IS BEYOND.
IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER, WE'RE GOING UP IN THE PLANE WITH IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER, WE'RE GOING UP IN THE PLANE WITH YOU.
WE'RE GOING UP IN THE PLANE WITH YOU.
BUT WE'RE JUST GONNA LAND A YOU.
BUT WE'RE JUST GONNA LAND A DIFFERENT WAY.
BUT WE'RE JUST GONNA LAND A DIFFERENT WAY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
DIFFERENT WAY.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH [BLEEP.]
ME.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH [BLEEP.]
ME.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH [BLEEP.]
ME.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ SIGHS .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ SIGHS .]
THAT'S ALL IT IS, IS JUST THIS? [ SIGHS .]
THAT'S ALL IT IS, IS JUST THIS? YOU DON'T TIE IT IN, LIKE, A THAT'S ALL IT IS, IS JUST THIS? YOU DON'T TIE IT IN, LIKE, A DOUBLE KNOT OR SOMETHING? YOU DON'T TIE IT IN, LIKE, A DOUBLE KNOT OR SOMETHING? NO.
DOUBLE KNOT OR SOMETHING? NO.
[ LAUGHTER .]
NO.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I MEAN, THIS IS JUST FABRIC, [ LAUGHTER .]
I MEAN, THIS IS JUST FABRIC, RIGHT? I MEAN, THIS IS JUST FABRIC, RIGHT? THIS IS JUST CLOTH.
RIGHT? THIS IS JUST CLOTH.
IT'S NYLON.
THIS IS JUST CLOTH.
IT'S NYLON.
NYLON? IT'S NYLON.
NYLON? THIS IS -- THIS IS NYLON, GUYS.
NYLON? THIS IS -- THIS IS NYLON, GUYS.
AND IN CASE YOU'RE WONDERING THIS IS -- THIS IS NYLON, GUYS.
AND IN CASE YOU'RE WONDERING THE -- HOW -- HOW STRONG THE AND IN CASE YOU'RE WONDERING THE -- HOW -- HOW STRONG THE FABRIC IS, IT'S NYLON.
THE -- HOW -- HOW STRONG THE FABRIC IS, IT'S NYLON.
[ LAUGHTER .]
FABRIC IS, IT'S NYLON.
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ CHUCKLING .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
[ CHUCKLING .]
[ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY .]
[ CHUCKLING .]
[ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY .]
LET'S GO, MURR.
[ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY .]
LET'S GO, MURR.
HOLD YOUR HAND.
LET'S GO, MURR.
HOLD YOUR HAND.
LET'S GO, MURRAY! YEAH! HOLD YOUR HAND.
LET'S GO, MURRAY! YEAH! HOLD IT.
LET'S GO, MURRAY! YEAH! HOLD IT.
THERE WE GO.
HOLD IT.
THERE WE GO.
GUYS, WE DID IT -- WE GET TO THERE WE GO.
GUYS, WE DID IT -- WE GET TO THROW MURRAY OUT OF A PLANE.
GUYS, WE DID IT -- WE GET TO THROW MURRAY OUT OF A PLANE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
ONLY ONE WAY OUT NOW, MURR.
[ LAUGHTER .]
TAKING THE EXPRESS ELEVATOR [ LAUGHTER .]
TAKING THE EXPRESS ELEVATOR DOWN, BUDDY.
TAKING THE EXPRESS ELEVATOR DOWN, BUDDY.
GUYS, I CAN'T DO THIS.
DOWN, BUDDY.
GUYS, I CAN'T DO THIS.
I'M GONNA LOSE MY [BLEEP.]
MAN.
GUYS, I CAN'T DO THIS.
I'M GONNA LOSE MY [BLEEP.]
MAN.
[ LAUGHTER .]
I'M GONNA LOSE MY [BLEEP.]
MAN.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH, MY GOD.
[ LAUGHTER .]
OH, MY GOD.
[ APPLAUSE .]
OH, MY GOD.
[ APPLAUSE .]
ARE WE AT -- WE HAVE TO GET -- [ APPLAUSE .]
ARE WE AT -- WE HAVE TO GET -- ARE WE THERE? ARE WE AT -- WE HAVE TO GET -- ARE WE THERE? I MEAN, THIS IS TOO HIGH.
ARE WE THERE? I MEAN, THIS IS TOO HIGH.
THIS IS WAY TOO HIGH, DON'T YOU I MEAN, THIS IS TOO HIGH.
THIS IS WAY TOO HIGH, DON'T YOU THINK? THIS IS WAY TOO HIGH, DON'T YOU THINK? WHY ARE WE STILL GOING UP? THINK? WHY ARE WE STILL GOING UP? [ ALL SCREAMING .]
WHY ARE WE STILL GOING UP? [ ALL SCREAMING .]
[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING .]
[ ALL SCREAMING .]
[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING .]
OH, MY GOD.
[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING .]
OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD! [ WHIMPERING .]
OH, MY GOD! [ WHIMPERING .]
COME ON, MURRAY! [ WHIMPERING .]
COME ON, MURRAY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE .]
COME ON, MURRAY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE .]
OH, MY GOD! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE .]
OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! All: GERONIMO! OH, MY GOD! All: GERONIMO! AAH! AAH! All: GERONIMO! AAH! AAH! OH, MY GOD! AAH! AAH! OH, MY GOD! AAH! OH, MY GOD! AAH! AAAH! AAAH! AAH! AAAH! AAAH! [ SCREAMING .]
AAAH! AAAH! [ SCREAMING .]
OH, MY GOD! [ SCREAMING .]
OH, MY GOD! AAH! AAH! OH, MY GOD! AAH! AAH! OH, MY GOD! AAH! AAH! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! [ SCREAMING .]
OH, MY GOD! [ SCREAMING .]
THAT WAS SCARY JUST WATCHING [ SCREAMING .]
THAT WAS SCARY JUST WATCHING IT.
THAT WAS SCARY JUST WATCHING IT.
JUST WATCHING MURRAY.
IT.
JUST WATCHING MURRAY.
I KNOW JUST WATCHING MURRAY.
I KNOW AAH! AAH! I KNOW AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH! OH! OH! OH, MY GOD! AAH! OH! OH! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH! OH! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! DID THE PARACHUTE GO UP? OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! DID THE PARACHUTE GO UP? [ CHUCKLES .]
DID THE PARACHUTE GO UP? [ CHUCKLES .]
DON'T DROP ME, MAN.
[ CHUCKLES .]
DON'T DROP ME, MAN.
I'M NOT GONNA DROP YOU.
DON'T DROP ME, MAN.
I'M NOT GONNA DROP YOU.
DON'T DROP ME.
I'M NOT GONNA DROP YOU.
DON'T DROP ME.
I'M NOT GONNA FALL.
DON'T DROP ME.
I'M NOT GONNA FALL.
HOLY [BLEEP.]
I'M NOT GONNA FALL.
HOLY [BLEEP.]
I NEED THREE NEW BEST FRIENDS.
HOLY [BLEEP.]
I NEED THREE NEW BEST FRIENDS.
[ LAUGHS .]
I NEED THREE NEW BEST FRIENDS.
[ LAUGHS .]
AH! AH! AH! AH! [ CHUCKLES .]
[ CHUCKLES .]
[ LAUGHTER .]
I COULDN'T HAVE THIS.
COME HERE.
COME HERE.
COME HERE.
COME HERE.
NO, NO, NO!