Insecure (2016) s03e01 Episode Script

1 (MUSIC PLAYING) (FEMALE SINGER VOCALIZING) Spinning, spinning, round and round Stick, sticky, off the ground (PASSIONATE MOANING, SCREAMING) (MOANING CONTINUES) (PASSIONATE SCREAMING) (SCREAMING) (PHONE BUZZING) (MOANING, SCREAMING RESUMES) Then I look stupid, call me foolish But I'll do whatever What did you do? Got me confused Spinning, spinning, round and round Sticky, sticky, off the ground Why won't you love me now? - Hi.
Elijah? - That's my name, don't wear it - (VOMITING) - No! Not in the (POP SONG PLAYING) Here you go, gorgeous.
Thank you, Louis.
You know, you've really been spoiling me these last couple of days.
Well, I was gonna spoil you a little bit more in the morning, but you were gone when I woke up.
Ah well, you know, it's the last day.
I had to get this good spot on the beach.
Look, um this doesn't have to end.
I'll be in L.
A.
in a few weeks.
Oh.
You got a visa? I'm from Cincinnati.
(LAUGHS) Oh.
Sorry.
(ZIPS ZIPPER) Hey, did you know I was here last night? Yeah.
OK.
(MURMURS) Hey.
Joann wants someone to make these check-in calls.
- And you're not gonna do 'em.
- Nah.
What's with all the cross-outs? Something about schools firing us or something like that.
No one cares.
(DIAL TONE) (DIALING) (LINE RINGING) Hi, this is Issa from We Got Y'All Yep, I'll hold.
- Hey, Ken, did you follow up on - I got it.
You always do.
My go-to guy.
Hey.
Just checking in.
It's my first call, so haven't messed up yet.
Sorry.
You know I hate having to spy, but she's insisting.
Hey, have you had a chance to talk to Joanne about when I might be back in the field? No.
She has been so stressed and negative lately, it's like, "OK, Noanne.
" (CHUCKLES) You know, I just started my new position, and I don't feel comfortable rocking the boat right now.
- I'm sorry.
- No, yeah.
I'm Baby, baby Baby, your baby Baby, baby Baby, baby, baby Where the fuck you find these people, brah? No matter how she sounds, you can fix all that.
Add some extra instruments.
Focus on the lyrics.
- OK.
- No me Hell, no, don't touch me there - (CONTINUES, MUFFLED) - (TURNS OFF MONITOR) I'm done hooking you up.
All these weak-ass artists.
And you got me paying for this shit out of my pocket.
Bro, it's gonna pay off in other ways.
You know, Spyder's her cousin.
- Lies, nigga.
- Bro, for real.
For real? I been trying to get my shit to that nigga.
That's what I'm sayin'.
I got you.
(PANTS CRINKLING) So, what y'all think? I never heard anything like it.
I do be writin' sometimes.
(CRINKLING) - I bought her those pants.
- (TURNS ON MONITOR) Baby, my baby, baby Baby, baby, baby Hi, my name is Molly, I enjoy a silent ride.
So please shut the fuck up and drive.
Bitch, if you don't get your ass up here (BOTH LAUGH) Hi! Welcome back! - Mwah! - OK, I see you! - Like a brown, crispy M&M.
- Ooh.
Speaking of which, would you like some complimentary candy? No, I'm good, thank you.
(SNIFFS) No shade, but your car still smells like throw-up.
Trust, my rating will reflect all of this.
Don't care.
I did one ride, and I Lyfted up outta here.
I am not about that life.
Girl, I don't blame you.
Quit that shit.
You need a break.
Girl, a break where? We can't all switch jobs and take vacations.
That reminds me.
I wanted to bring you some vacation dick, - but I got you this instead.
- Sand? It reminded me of your dry-ass pussy.
Bitch, I'm not gonna tell you nothin' else.
So, he's fuckin' bitches right in front of you? - Not right in front.
- That's fucked up.
He knows y'all go back.
You sure y'all not doin' nothin'? 'Cause you be lying.
According to my sandy-ass pussy: No, bitch.
I'm just focused on getting this money so I can get up outta there.
And, you know, it's been two weeks already.
You should've just stayed with me.
Nah, girl.
Remember that week I stayed with you back in '05? (SIGHS) Just say you broke my vase, and we're cool.
It was broke when I got there! (PHONE BUZZING) OK, I don't need your side-eye.
(MUMBLING) Front-eye.
Let me tell you right now.
This whole vacation put everything in perspective for me.
- I'm on some next-level shit.
- I'm listening.
Okay, so vacation bae was trying to kick it with me in L.
A.
, and I had to put him in his lane.
"Bloop! You beach dick.
" Quentin was trying to do some long-distance shit, and I said, "Blip! Stay in Chicago.
" And my new job was trying to front on my benefits, and I said, "Blam! You better give a bitch a PPO.
" So you bloopin' and blippin' and blappin'? And blammin', bitch.
I'm on some "know better, do better" shit.
- That's dope.
- Mm-hmm.
I feel like my whole life is on some tip-toe shit right now.
Like, I can't speak up about anything.
You know you can always talk to me, right? - Yeah.
- Uh-huh.
So hey, you gonna "know better, do better" with your boyfriend Dro? Fuck buddy.
Blip! He has a wife.
Blap.
It's not like that with us anymore.
Whatever, I hate that nigga now.
Bloop! See? You don't even do it right.
So you just gonna act like you didn't break my vase? - I didn't do shit to your vase! - OK.
Just admit that women have it harder than men and our bet is off.
- (ALL TALKING) - (LAUGH TRACK PLAYS) Open up.
Oh! Oh! Oh, no! Oh! (SNIFFING) Do I smell bougie pigeon? KEV'YN: Wait, Chris, what did I tell you about comin' in my house through the fridge? Booya! Don't make me come over there! - Hey.
- Hey, Lilian.
What up, Jada? Uncle Daniel, did you know Head down.
Guitar's in the closet.
Oh, and I have to be on set tomorrow, so I'm gonna need Jada to stay at your spot.
What time? 'Cause you know, uh, Issa's still there.
Damn! How much longer? Another two weeks.
What? And, uh, ol' girl what's her name? Vanessa? She ain't trippin'? Why would she? It's not like that.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, you're putting way too much on it.
- That door closed.
- Who closed it? - Oop.
- Jada.
Stay out of grown folk's business.
Head down.
I'm just sayin', of all the places she could've stayed, she chose your spot.
Look, I just came here for this guitar.
See y'all later.
Mwah.
See you later.
Mwah.
So who's gonna watch Jada? Issa or Vanessa? Damn, girl, I braided your hair all kinds of wrong.
(BEAT PLAYING) (PLAYING ALONG WITH BEAT) (BEAT CONTINUES) (BEAT CONTINUES) DANIEL: Niggas, are you ready? (HUMMING ALONG) (TURNS OFF MUSIC) - I was just, uh - You were just (LAUGHS) Nah.
See, I didn't even look like that.
Someone's been drinkin'.
I was I was stuck on something, and then I got unstuck.
Actually, can I have some of that? Yeah.
(DANIEL HUMMING) That's been you playing guitar? 'Cause I noticed the live instruments on your track.
(CHUCKLES) - What? - Nothin'.
I mean that's just funny that you noticed that.
I notice shit.
I'm observant.
(BOTH LAUGH) - Oh, you observant? - Mm-hmm.
Close your eyes.
What color shirt am I wearing? Uh, it got stripes? (BOTH LAUGH) Oh, I don't I'm sor Ah, I don't think we should do this.
Um No, I just think we know better? I'm confused, Issa.
Out of all the places that you could've stayed, you stayed with me.
Yeah, I did, but - not for this.
- But isn't it always this? You were just low-key dropping hints about me fucking somebody else.
I don't care who you fuck.
I just want a heads-up so I don't have to be here.
Why are you here? 'Cause I needed a place to stay.
And you're close to work.
(LAUGHS) I thought I was staying here as a friend, and you know we always at least had that.
Yeah.
These glasses are so heavy.
I'm tired.
Is it daylight savings time? Did that happen already? (HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING) (MOLLY PANTING) Yeah Yeah Oh, I missed you.
Shh-shh-shh-shh-shh-shh-shh.
Wah-wah-wah-wah, she gimme what I wanna What you got planned today? Mmm.
I gotta call with my new firm.
We're still negotiating my contract.
Oh.
OK, Boss Molly.
Yep.
You want me to make breakfast first? - Ooh, yeah.
- Yeah? - Mm-mm.
- (PHONE BUZZING) Oh.
Excuse me one sec.
Hey.
No, I'm still at Molly's.
Yeah.
OK.
All right, I'll call you back.
- I can make pancakes.
- (SIGHS) Listen, um, we need to decide whether we're friends who don't have sex, or acquaintances who just have sex.
Because anything otherwise, it's muddy, and I need boundaries.
OK.
All right.
What do you suggest we do, then? We fuck.
And that's it.
No phone calls, no dates, no spending the night, no fuckin', then trying to make pancakes.
- But we love pancakes.
- Nigga.
Well OK.
Yeah.
That's fine.
Oh, you mean like now.
OK.
I'm so sorry to hear that, Vice Principal Irving.
Can I ask why? VP IRVING: We've decided to link up with a different organization that we feel better suits our students.
And you know your logo's racist, right? Y'all need to do better.
I'm sorry.
Thank you for your feedback.
Hi, my name is Issa, and I'm calling from We Got Y'All.
Uhm.
I'd love to find out why you're not partnering with us anymore.
MAN: The brochure features black kids, but only one black employee.
That is me.
WOMAN: The curriculum feels very Eurocentric, and it isn't at all catered to our demographics.
WOMAN 2: Everyone you brought to our school was white.
- And mean.
- OK.
Thank you.
ISSA: And I'm not trying to rock the boat, but I thought this was something that you'd want to know.
And where did you get this information? I was hearing a lot of criticism during our follow-up calls, and since our list of canceled partnerships seemed pretty high, I thought it might be helpful to call those schools.
No, Issa, it's not helpful.
If I wanted you to speak on our behalf, I would have left you out in the field.
You keep overstepping your bounds.
I'm sorry, I thought that Have you noticed that every time there's an issue here lately, you're involved? If you want to be helpful, get to the root of that.
That's all.
OK, schedule of events and then we're gonna do budgeting.
(PHONE BUZZING) Can't stop, won't stop, get guap Ten white toes in them toy flip-flops Manicures and pedicures, I'm always tip-top When they say I'm not hot all these lies need to stop Cuz I'm icy, wifey, haters wanna fight me Never been the one got RIP up on a white tee Keep my hands clean, got some hittas moving shiesty Ask me if I'm rollin' with some Gucci, bitch, I might be It's very unlikely, my wrist ain't lookin' We said no calls.
I was just seeing how negotiations went.
Yeah, they went fine.
They accepted all my terms.
That's what's up! Molly, I'm so proud of you.
We gotta celebrate.
El Cholo's? - Really, Dro? - Come on.
Acquaintances celebrate.
(SIGHS) - Mm-Kay.
- All right, bet.
Uh, I'll meet you there at 9:00.
No.
I'll meet you there.
You're no nothin' but, you're no nothin' but You're no nothin' but You're no nothin' but, you're no nothin' but You're no nothin' but - Yo.
- ISSA: You busy? Ah, I got something later on, but right now I'm free.
Why, what's up? I gotta kill time before I go home, and don't you wanna ride with me while I Lyft? I thought you were through with that shit.
I was, but today I got time, cuz.
I don't wanna do it by myself, and you know I can get snacks and turn it into a Party Lyft.
- Is that a thing? - It is, yeah.
Come on, please? Please, please, please, please! Please, please, please! OK, listen, I got until Perfect, 'cause I'm outside! - What? - Hey.
Party Lyft, Party Lyft Ha! So, why do you gotta be outta the house? Daniel's got a girl over.
Damn, Daniel! Back at it again with the fuckin'.
He gave me a heads-up, so that's all I care about.
Hmm.
OK.
- (ALERT CHIMES) - ISSA: Oh! Do we have a rider? We are coming for you, Erin plus one! (BOTH SINGING) What you got in here? Yas! A Capri Sun.
You know my heart.
No, girl, those are for passengers only, so Party Lyft, Party Lyft Partner, partner, partner, partner, partner! - This party sucks.
- (LAUGHING) - Girl, we gonna be late.
- We not gonna be late.
Hope there's a fine nigga driving.
I wanna be a Twitter story.
Girl, you stay thirsty.
Hey! Party Lyft! ALL: Hey! (FRENCH ACCENT) Capri Sun? - Uh, yeah.
- Oh, you fancy.
- I am.
- What you ladies doin' tonight? - Gettin' fucked up.
- Sounds about right! (ALL LAUGHING) I need a nigga who won't (SONG CONTINUES) I love this song! Y'all are goin' to The Exchange? Yup.
I hope Hakeem got a table.
Me too, 'cause I just glued this heel back on, I don't know how long it's gonna stay.
Yo, look at this nigga Instagram.
- I can't tell if he got a job.
- If you got to ask He's supposed to be gettin' us in tonight, but I ain't heard back.
Girl, then why are we in this Lyft? Be optimistic.
(LAUGHS) (MOUTHS WORDS) MOLLY: You got your Capri Sun, don't you? - (CHIMES) - Hey! Five stars! No tip, but five stars.
They said I played good music and reminded them of their auntie.
- I could see that.
- I'm a good auntie.
All right, so who's next? Ooh! Let's go find the niggas! Yeah, hold on.
Ooh, I found a Jolly Rancher.
- You find any niggas? - Hmm (CHIMES) OK, Nathan with the face.
Blam! We about to come Lyft yo fine ass.
Look.
Uh, yes, we are.
(BOTH LAUGHING) (HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING) His face matches.
ISSA: Hey, Nathan.
Welcome to the Party Lyft.
NATHAN: Hey, thanks.
About how long this gonna take? We should be there in 30 minutes.
30 minutes for four miles? Man, this what I hate about L.
A.
It take a long-ass time to get anywhere.
Uh, we don't L.
A.
-bash in the Party Lyft.
Are you going to Saddle Ranch - for dinner? - Oh, see? Girl, that's why he don't like L.
A.
! (CHATTER) Give her your phone.
- Trust me! - Hell no.
I do this, let me see it.
Thank you.
- Fixed it.
- (ALERT CHIMES) Yas, Worldwide Tacos! OK, barbecue salmon tacos, here we come.
Oh, I see.
So this just about gettin' you fed.
Uh, yeah.
Keep up.
(GIRLS LAUGH) (PHONE BUZZING) - (ALERT CHIMES) - ISSA: Ooh, yes! Somebody want to join our party.
We got time for that? Plus they not even cute.
Hold up.
So I made the cut? - Y'all L.
A.
chicks be wildin'.
- OK.
We out here tryin' to get chills just like you.
How far away is he? It's on the way.
It'll be quick.
NATHAN: Do what you gotta do.
We on your ride.
(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING) Is that him? Both them niggas gonna fit back there? Oh, wait, that's one nigga.
Hi.
- Issa? - That's me.
Drivin' the Party Lyft.
It's a Party Lyft? That's what's up! Shit.
Hand me two of them Capri Suns, then.
Nigga parched.
Gotta see if I have two.
Oh, y'all only have Fruit Frenzy? It's a'ight.
Nathan, did you get one? They only got Fruit Frenzy.
Hey, let's go.
ISSA: Party Lyft, Party Lyft, Party Lyft (SLURPING) What's up, little man? So you goin' to Hyde Park? I'm easy.
I'ma go wherever y'all go.
Can you go back there and buckle up? Oh, you bossy.
- I likes that.
- Hmm.
It's fine.
Uh, Issa? We got a little sitch back there.
Uh, excuse me, sir.
Can that not be happening? Naw, you good.
Uh, the lady asked you not to do that.
Y'all bitches said it's a Party Lyft.
- Wow.
- Tell him.
Tell him off.
Nigga tryin' to party.
Yeah, you should get another Lyft.
What you doin', bitch! - Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! - Issa, do something! - Stop fighting! - That's it? - I'm driving! - Nigga, pull over! - I can't find a parking space.
- Fuck a space! - I'm gonna get a ticket! - Issa! (SCREAMING) - (TIRES SQUEALING) - MOLLY: Oh God! - Stop! - Aah! (FIGHTING CONTINUES) Stop spilling my Capri Sun! (MEN SHOUTING) Where you going?! I'm not tryin' to get Come back! You can't just leave! - I'm sorry.
- Come back! (BIG MAN GROANING) - You good? - My eyes.
He not good.
Girl, you're lookin for somebody Somebody you can call on Call on when you need it done right If you're lookin' for a real one So am I Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (TV PLAYING) So you couldn't text me back last night? My bad.
I, uh, I fell asleep.
Forgot.
OK, Daniel.
I said sorry, Iss.
What's the problem? There's no problem.
You've been letting me stay here for free, you've been super-generous with your space, and the last thing I want to do is come at you like I'm ungrateful, but you it's What's up, Iss? I know I told you I didn't care, but I do.
And I still have feelings for you.
And I'm not saying that because I want to be with you or anything It's just you said that you came here because you wanted to be close to your job, now you're telling me that you got feelings and shit.
So, like, what is it, a'ight? 'Cause I'm confused.
Both, nigga.
I don't know.
I You on some bullshit.
Just be real.
I came here because I knew you'd be here for me.
And I really need someone like that in my life right now.
You know, It's not easy for me to admit things when it comes to us sometimes, because you make it hard.
Oh, so I told you to move in with me.
Right.
No.
But Daniel, don't act all innocent like you don't know what you're doing.
You're fucking other girls in front of me like we don't have history.
Yellow tinted lenses - and a pink gelato - All right.
Fallin' out the window, hit me back tomorrow We'll always be the one tough act to follow 'Cause we aimin' for the stars With a point and hollow Feeling these songs, mocking jokes and carols I started this job selling rocks and arrows (SIGHS) 'Cause they only swipe right if you fuck for follows H-Hey.
Y-You just let yourself in? I Yeah, my bad.
You weren't answering, so I Oh OK.
Hmm.
So, y'all got in a fight last night? Oh, God.
You and Issa do the fucking most.
- Keep talkin' shit.
- Oh? Yeah.
I learned some moves.
- Oh, you did? - I did.
Right here.
- Oh, wow.
Show me.
- Bam.
Bam.
Bam.
(BOTH LAUGHING) Um, can I, uh can I have my key back? What? That's what you're thinkin' about right now? I meant to ask for it earlier, but I just Can I get it back? For what? 'Cause it's my key? Where is this comin' from? Dro, I'm trying to do things better.
OK? This this is hard for me.
- Yeah, it's hard for me too! - How? You get to have me when you want, on your terms.
I told you I need boundaries.
Just because you and Candice get to do whatever and fuck whomever don't mean we all want our shit that messy! First of all, don't talk about what me and my wife do.
All right? So you need to figure out what you're doing and what you want.
I know I want my key back.
(SIGHS) - I think I'm gonna go.
- I think that's a good idea.
But if we just spoke Like we meant it Would you reference This open part of me It is I, Colin Kaepernicca.
(LAUGH TRACK) Ain't nobody got it harder than brothers.
Hashtag KneeToo.
- (PHONE BUZZING) - YOLANDA: Well, sisters are the backbone of this country, and we're reclaiming our time's up.
(GRUNTS) (CHUCKLES) They rebooted Kev'yn.
Little Chris 45 years old, still hiding in cabinets.
(BOTH LAUGH) - Cops beat you? - What? Oh, no.
Turns out I'm highly allergic to pork.
(PHONE BUZZING) - All right.
- (KEYS JINGLE) Well, the spot's all yours tonight.
Um see you later.
roommate.
Hey, Daniel? Thank you for everything.
Hmm.
(DANIEL LAUGHING) I knew you was gonna do that.
It's both a blessing and a curse To feel everything so deeply like you do, girl There's been more times that it hurts But who said love was ever easy, girl? Life's a bitch and then you die La, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la-la-la-la, la Oh, it's easier said than done But don't you worry about those little things and bigger To find a relation Yeah, yeah, yeah When you realize there's no voices in your head, girl Life's a bitch and then you die Ooh La, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la-la-la-la, la La, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la-la-la-la, la