Jane the Virgin (2014) s03e01 Episode Script
Chapter Forty-Five
1 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Finally! Welcome back.
Let's review, shall we? This is Jane.
You'll recall she was accidentally inseminated by Rafael's sperm.
This is their baby, Mateo.
Adorable, right? And this is Detective Michael Cordero Jr.
And after a lot of back and forth and back again, well, Jane and Michael finally got married.
I pronounce you husband and wife.
And I may be biased, but can I just say Best wedding ever.
I mean, this is everything, right? And it was thrown by Jane's father, international telenovela star Rogelio de la Vega .
This is Jane's mother, Xiomara and, man, Rogelio loved her.
But alas, he wanted kids, and she didn't, and so they broke up.
And in a moment of weakness, Xo slept with his nemesis, Esteban.
- And, well, this happened.
- ESTEBAN BOBBLEHEAD: I warned you.
I told you I bust out of condoms.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I know! Straight out of a telenovela, right? Well, imagine this.
Rafael also had twins with his ex-wife, Petra.
Oh, this is Petra.
And this is Petra's twin sister, Anezka.
And, well - this happened.
- (gasps) And poor Petra ended up And then Anezka moved in on Rafael.
I know, cray cray, right? Even crazier? This is Rafael's sister, Luisa.
She used to date Rose, otherwise known as the criminal Sin Rostro.
But now she was dating Michael's partner, Susanna, or she thought she was.
And, friends, this is the hard part.
See, Jane and Michael were about to have sex.
- But then - Don't go anywhere.
- I won't.
- he ran into Susanna.
And suddenly realized You're the mole, you've been leading us to Mutter this whole time Why? Who are you working for? (gasps) Now, come on.
It's time to go.
Which, friends, I'm afraid is where we left off.
For as long as anyone can remember, Jane Gloriana Villanueva believed in the epic love story.
You know, two people destined for each other overcoming obstacles before finally finding their way into one another's arms.
That's right, the stuff of romance novels.
So her very first book reading well, it was a very big deal.
âAnd though she vowed she would never love a soldier, âeven though she knew âhe was going to leave for Paris âat the end of the month, Noelle let herself fall.
â (applause) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And our Jane well, she came prepared.
- What's that? - A list.
So I don't forget a main point.
LAYLA: Now I'm happy to answer any questions.
Yes.
I would like to know why Noelle and Jean Luc don't get together at the end.
Well, love doesn't always work out.
Yeah, in real life.
But this is a romance novel.
In a romance novel they get a happily ever after.
Not happily until a mortar shell explodes just when Jean Luc's finally coming home from the war.
All right, you made your point, sit down.
LAYLA: Some romances don't end happily.
Think of Romeo and Juliet.
But that's one of Shakespeare's tragedies.
Everyone knows in tragedies they end up dead, in comedies they end up happy, and in romance novels they end up together.
Well, sometimes you need to subvert the ending for the element of surprise.
Great, fine, but then don't call it a romance novel, call it fiction.
XIOMARA: I'm sorry, she was really upset when she finished the book.
JANE: But of course I was.
There are rules to the genre.
Go to the RWA website.
All over it, it says you need an HEA.
WOMAN: I mean, I was disappointed too.
I felt empty for days.
You know, she really might be too young for this type of event.
I told you to keep it together.
It was spur of the moment.
You had a list.
Not so spur of the moment.
But, anyway, you you made some good points about genre or whatever.
Well, I learned a lesson.
From now on, I'm reading the ending of books first so I can be prepared for whatever happens.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Which actually raises an interesting question How does knowing the end affect the journey? Because some of you know how this is going to end.
Michael? Michael? Michael? (gasps) Oh, my God, Michael! Michael! Help! Somebody help! I should remind you that I did say that Michael would love Jane until his dying breath.
Okay, you're breathing.
Thank God.
Help! Somebody help please! (crying): Okay.
Stay with me, baby.
Stay with me please.
Stay with me LATIN LOVE NARRATOR: Which brings us here.
Now - Any updates? - No.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Unfortunately, friends, there was no way for Jane to prepare for this.
JANE: Oh, I can't take this waiting.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: It's torture.
He's gonna be okay, hon.
You don't know that.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Which is true because she couldn't skip ahead to the ending.
And we can't either.
So instead, let's flip back (pages turning) to earlier in our epic romance.
(pages flipping quickly) Oops, that's a little too far.
Ah, here we are.
You're seriously not gonna help at all? The morning after Jane's 21st birthday was somewhat less festive than the night before.
Nope.
For Xo at least.
What? We agreed that cleanup was part of your punishment - for last night's behavior.
- (phone chimes) Oh! The cop wants to see me again tonight.
Wow.
And I really booted on his shoes? Twice.
(giggles) I swear, it's like we already have private jokes.
I mean, they're all about you so far, but still.
Ha-ha.
I just can't picture you with a cop.
I know, but, I'm telling you, Ma, that kiss, it was magic.
(car pulling up in distance) Oh, my God.
Sam just pulled up.
- Sam? - Yes, Sam! LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I know what you're thinking, - who the hell is Sam? - Oh, my God, he's coming.
- (car door closes) - Am I too gross? - Do I smell? - Y-you're good, you're good.
Okay, but you're not, so stay away from him.
(doorbell rings) Go on, open the door and act like you haven't been obsessively crushing on him for two years.
- 17 months.
- (scoffs) (seductive music plays) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Well, hello, Sam.
- Oh, hey.
- (chuckles) Wanted to drop something off.
Is now an okay time? Yeah, totally.
(Jane inhales) Actually, let's, um, sit outside.
(door closes) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: So now might be a good time to mention that Jane had been in a love triangle once before.
I'm sorry I couldn't make it last night, I was trying to bang out that Chaucer paper, and then, before I knew it, it was 2:00 in the morning.
- Oh.
So not a big deal.
- No, I - I wanted to come.
- LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Of course, you already know how this one ends.
But still, the journey's worth it, trust me.
Anyway, happy birthday.
Thank you.
Antarctica.
Huh? That's where Bernadette went.
I know how you like to know the ending.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yeah, you're gonna want to back off that smile, just a little.
- Thank you, I can't wait to read it.
- Before tonight? Maria Semple is doing a reading.
Come with me.
- Like a date? - I'd love to.
Or is it not a date? Like, um like just the two of us? I hope not, for Maria Semple's sake.
Oh.
(laughs loudly) Not that funny.
(chuckles softly) Um I just meant, like, did you want to pick me up, - or should we just meet there? - No.
I'll pick you up at 7:00.
And if you want to know how it's gonna end, I'm gonna try and kiss you.
You won't have to try that hard.
(soft chuckle) (door opens) (humming) Oh, my God, Sam just asked me out! - No! - Yes, for tonight! - What about the cop? - What cop? Oh.
You're here for Michael Cordero? I'm Dr.
Lewis and I'm part of the trauma team.
Right now he's in critical condition.
The bullet missed his heart, but it transected some major pulmonary vessels.
There's a lot of bleeding in his chest, we're still trying to stabilize him.
But is he, um will he be all right? Honestly, we don't know yet.
You're his wife? Yes, I am.
Here.
You should hold on to this.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: You know, if this were a romance novel, right about now I'd need to put the book down and take a break.
LATIN LOVE NARRATOR: Ah, yes, we were imagining this was a romance novel.
- Either way, here we are.
- (pages turning) So sorry to bug you, but the doctor just gave us an update, and I think I was in shock, and I didn't ask anything.
But now I'm prepared, so I was wondering if I can talk to a doctor, any doctor? It doesn't even have to be one of your good ones.
Let me see if I can find someone.
Thank you so much.
Oh, Patricia, hi.
How is he? Any update? No, not since we talked.
We just have to have faith.
Well, I don't know about faith.
What we need is information.
Mrs.
Cordero? - Yes.
- Yes.
Um, this is Dr.
Sterling.
He's familiar with Mr.
Cordero's case.
I heard you have some questions.
Good.
Yes.
I need to know what his condition is.
Exactly.
Go on.
You have your list.
- No, it's fine.
- Friend who's a surgeon, and he said to ask specifically LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I'm with Alba.
You need to have faith.
In fact, in many ways, - this is a story about faith - I don't know.
Faith that the past will have some connection - to the present.
- It's only a little white lie.
No one gets hurt.
Michael will never know.
- (door opens) - JANE: Welcome back, Abuela.
Hi, Ma.
- This looks like a real gun! - (screaming) Uh, champagne cork from the big birthday bash.
(scoffs) Hi, Abuela.
Mwah.
So, Ma, ever since Jane turned 21, she's been juggling men like crazy.
I met someone sweet last night, and then Sam asked me out.
Less shocked.
17 months, people.
But, yes, I know.
Finally, the whole dance is over.
Okay, it was more like a solo, but, still.
You know, I stuck with him while he dated Kelly and hung in through the whole Julia fiasco.
And now, finally, finally LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I'm gonna be honest, friends.
She saw the HEA.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a beautiful story.
Hopefully we'll tell it at your wedding.
But just to keep your options open, tell the other guy you're sick.
It's harmless.
Who are you gonna take dating advice from, me or Abuela? (groans softly) (chuckles) Sorry, Abuela.
Uh-uh.
Less detail.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: All right, now let's skip ahead, shall we? (laughing) Oh, this is a really funny moment.
Oh, my God, that's the funniest story I've ever heard! Actually, sorry, it's not relevant to the story.
Let's keep moving.
(doorbell rings) Okay, here we are, later that night.
- Have fun.
- I will.
I won't.
(crickets chirping) Thank you.
(engine starts) (siren wailing) Uh, what'd I do? I don't know.
You weren't speeding.
License and registration.
Uh, sure.
What did he do? Illegal U-turn.
Oh, wow, I'm sorry.
Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the vehicle.
- What? - Excuse me? - Ma'am, please.
- Uh, no, no.
- You don't have to do that.
- JANE: It's fine.
I know him.
I'll be right back.
- Okay.
What's going on? - That's what I'd like to know.
- Are you stalking me? - No, I'm not stalking you.
I happened to be dropping by your house to bring you some soup 'cause you said you were sick.
I made it myself.
It's an old family recipe.
Anyway, then you left your house, clearly not sick, and I happened to see you get in the car, which then engaged in some illegal activity.
He made a U-turn on an empty street.
- An illegal U-turn.
- Hey, is everything okay back there? Sir, please keep your head inside the vehicle.
Anyway, here's your soup.
Thank you.
Have a good night.
Is there anything that I can do? JANE: No.
Just keep Mateo safe.
Of course.
There are cops all over the hotel; they've assured me it's completely secured.
Any leads? I don't think so.
But they will figure out who did this.
Yeah.
Bye.
So, unfortunately, the security footage in that hallway was wiped out.
What? Speaks to pretty sophisticated shooter.
Or someone familiar with the hotel systems.
You said you were here last night? Yes.
Alone? (tribal drumming plays) (gasps) No.
I was with my ex-wife, Petra.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: To clarify, he thought it was his ex-wife Petra.
In fact, it was (Czech accent): Sorry, Mother, I couldn't get to a phone.
Rafael didn't think I should be alone last night.
He was being very sweet.
(giggles) Did you have sex with him? No.
(giggles) You did.
Well maybe.
(giggles) Petra, your laugh You do not laugh like that.
You are not an idiot.
I need you to stay focused.
When did you freeze the chicken? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Let me help here, because they're talking in code.
At 10:00.
MAGDA: Okay.
So you have to get back to baste the chicken in six hours.
I know, I know.
Don't worry.
But you know, I was, I was thinking, Mother, m-maybe we don't have to do Rafael part of plan.
We are doing the side dish, you hloupy osel.
(knocking at door) (Petra's accent): Hold on, Mother.
Hi again, Mrs.
Solano.
Just wanted to let you know that Mr.
Solano confirmed your alibi.
Oh.
Good.
What did he say exactly? That you were together.
Yeah, I know, but I-I mean, did, did he seem happy about it or - Ma'am? - Never mind.
Is that all? No, actually.
We thought you could help us take a look at some security footage.
See if anything looks unusual.
We need to review the hour before the shooting.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: An hour.
She can spare an hour.
From ten different cameras.
Oh.
Wow, that's, uh LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ten hours, you silly donkey.
Um (clears throat) Sorry, I just, uh, I didn't realize it was going to take so much time.
You know what? I should really visit my sister before I buckle in here.
Excuse me? Oh, she's in the hospital.
(whispering): A stroke.
- Oh.
- Triggered by a severe seizure.
And, uh, now she's unable to move.
It's called "locked-in syndrome.
" - Jeez, that's terrible.
- I know.
Awful.
Unfortunately, this investigation is time-sensitive, so we should look at the tapes first.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Oh, good.
Maybe the chicken will defrost.
Which brings us here, to our poor, frozen chicken.
For company.
Reports indicate that the officer shot, Michael Cordero, was taken to St.
Ignatius Hospital, where he remains in critical condition.
The shooter LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Suddenly, Petra felt a tiny bit of hope, knowing that Jane was probably in this very same hospital.
If only she could move.
Or speak.
Or twitch.
And I know we're all wishing Detective Cordero well.
Now, onto sports (TV shuts off) He had a concussion when he was seven.
Oh, oh, yeah, I left it blank.
I was gonna ask you.
Why don't I just do it? Oh, I don't mind.
It has to be right; I know more information.
Plus, it'll give me something to do.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And friends, that's when Rogelio saw something that terrified him.
Two civilians, 0800 hours, clearly engaged in Hey, guys.
Oh, wow.
Uh, yes.
It's me.
I-I understand you wanted a picture, but I have to ask you to treasure it privately and not tweet it out.
Why not? Well, it's a long story.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Here's the short version.
REPORTER 2: It all began when international telenovela star Rogelio de la Vega retweeted an Amber Alert that his grandchild was kidnapped.
Please.
I'll do anything.
Yeah? For reals? For reals.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Okay, where were we? Ah, yes.
Waiting.
Still waiting.
I don't know how you can eat at a time like this.
I just, uh Sorry.
PATRICIA: Oh, don't be dramatic.
Just eat it.
Listen, we're all upset, okay? Don't take it out on Jane.
- I'm not taking it out on Jane.
- Mom, it's fine.
Let's just go outsid for a minute.
Please? I'm sorry, but she's being so rude to you.
She's just scared.
And th and this is how she copes.
- But - Mom.
You're not helping.
Just take a little walk and cool off, okay, please? (exhales) XIOMARA: So this is my fault? Kind of.
You told me to lie.
Oh, stop.
Sam will get over it if he's your happily ever after or whatever.
Maybe.
What? I don't know.
It was a weird date.
And I don't know if it was weird because there was 17 months of buildup, or because of that cop and his stupid soup.
Oh - (laughs) - What? - You like the cop.
- No.
No, I don't.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, he's kind of stalkerish, right? And his choices in music are way off.
And he's a cat person.
His profile picture is him with his cat.
Weird, right? You are on his Facebook page.
I know.
It's just this stupid soup is so good.
(laughs) Fakes left.
He goes right! Oh! (laughs) (groans) Game over! An unprecedented third consecutive trash ball championship! - Oh, you got so lucky.
- Lucky? Three championships is not lucky, my friend.
- Whoop.
.
oh! - Michael Hi.
- Three championships.
- Yeah.
Four, and I get to wear a crown around the station.
Apology cubano.
I didn't make it, but still I obviously didn't have a cold, and I shouldn't have lied about it.
But I was wondering if we can go back to the other night.
I-I mean, not when I shot your gun, but how we felt when we kissed.
ARMSTRONG: You kissed while on duty? - No.
- It wasn't until hours later.
You were at her house for hours? My office, Cordero.
I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to get you in trouble.
No, it's fine, I just obviously didn't put the kiss in the report.
Might have spiced up the report.
So, before we were interrupted, you were saying something about - trying this again.
- I would like that.
Me, too.
And no more lies.
Total honesty.
Perfect.
Which is why I want you to know that I'm also going to be exploring my relationship with Sam.
What? The guy that you pulled over.
It's just, I've been in love with him for 17 months.
I mean, not in love with him, just, like, super into him, and he finally asked me out.
You gotta be kidding me.
I'm just trying to be honest.
Okay, let me be honest.
I'm not interested in being in a love triangle with you and Sam.
It's not a love triangle.
I hardly know you.
Exactly.
I don't even know if I like you.
Well, then, why did you bring me soup? I don't know.
I wish I didn't.
You know what? Have a nice life with Sam, the lawbreaker.
Well, you have a good life with your cat! How do you know about my cat? - Your profile picture, weirdo.
- That's 'cause she just died.
Thanks for bringing that up, jackass! Okay, sorry about your cat, but you don't have to call me a jackass, dick! LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And, friends, in that moment, Jane truly thought she'd never see Michael again.
WOMAN (over P.
A.
system): Dr.
Davis, telephone, please.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Which is obviously not what happened.
(elevator bell dings) (exhales sharply, sobbing) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Okay, so, here we are.
So close Hey, again, just checking your vitals.
Everything looks the same.
But here's a call button just in case.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: and yet so far.
At least for two hours and 23 minutes.
If I might say, you seem a little nervous, ma'am.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Well, she did have a ticking cluck.
(chicken clucking) No, not nervous.
(sighs) I just need to use the restroom.
I'll be right back.
Heard they found a trail of white powder in the hallway.
They're running tests.
Yep.
You know, if it's cocaine, this could be some kind of drug thing.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Uh-oh, friends, I believe Anezka, like her sister, is locked in.
Hmm.
That's suspicious.
Come on! Also rather suspicious Hey.
Oh, yeah.
What? Sorry.
You scared me.
I'm just getting some air.
Yeah, me, too.
- Rogelio.
- What? Let me get a sip of your coffee.
No.
No, no! No, no.
Wh Is that urine? No.
Yes.
I made a deal to give my pee to two tweakers so they could pass a drug test.
In exchange, they agreed not to tweet pictures of me at the hospital.
- I'm pretty sure that's illegal.
- I don't care.
A tweet from me almost ruined Jane's life last year.
I'm not going to let that happen again.
I have to do something for her.
And for Michael.
Oh, Ro Sorry sorry it's it's just you know how I always say he's my best friend? Well, I mean it.
So, you got it? I just need a little more time to hydrate.
Please.
I promise, you'll get what you need.
20 minutes.
I'll do it.
I want to help, too.
So I'll pee in a damn cup.
Great.
Perfect.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And that's when she remembered she'd recently peed on a damn stick.
Actually, forget it, um I'm a woman, so - They can't tell gender.
- Yes, they can.
- No, they can't.
- Yes, they can.
- They can't.
- Sometimes they can! Like when you're pregnant, for instance.
Pregnant? It's Esteban's.
Hey.
I'm sorry about my mom.
Well, hopefully she got ahold of herself.
Hi.
So the good news is that he's stabilized.
Oh We were able to get him into imaging, and the CT scan showed that he had an aortic dissection, which we can manage medically.
- Okay, good.
- That's good.
But the problem is the bullet passed through the chest cavity, and landed near his spine.
Right now there is considerable swelling.
W-What does that mean? Well, there are two options.
Neither's perfect.
We can take a wait-and-see approach, treat him with steroids, see if it works.
But if it doesn't, he risks loss of function.
Possibly from the waist down.
Or we could try to operate, to clear the bone fragments and relieve the pressure on his spinal cord.
This offers slightly better odds on the paralysis front, but he's in critical condition, and surgery comes with real risks.
Then no, we're not doing it.
You can cake some time to discuss it.
I'm sure.
You're his wife, so, technically, it's your decision.
I-I'd like a few minutes to think about it.
You want to risk his life, after all this? I-I don't know, I thought that we should talk.
I need to talk to his father.
I know he's close and I'm pretty sure he'll agree with me.
I think that this wasn't supposed to happen.
We talked about who would take out the trash and when we would have another baby, not what I should do of there was a bullet near his spine.
I don't know what the right answer is.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And, friends, that's when Jane remembered this moment.
(doorbell rings) Which, of course, is where we left off.
What are you doing here? Well, firstly, I wanted to apologize for calling you a jackass.
And I thought about it, and who cares about Sam? Sam can come on our dates if you want him to.
Michael, stop.
It's fine.
Just go.
Seriously.
We had one good night, and I was wasted.
And our sober interactions have been pretty terrible.
If you really mean that If you really want me to walk away Say the words I will.
Walk away.
No.
What are you doing? We had something.
That kiss was magic.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: There's that word again.
The magic of tequila.
Let me kiss you again.
Sober.
Why won't you give up? Because I'm a fighter.
You should know that about me.
I'm a fighter.
He'd want the surgery.
Yes, that's what his father said, too.
I'm just so scared.
Me, too.
So you just have a few minutes while the O.
R.
's being prepped.
(monitor beeping) Hi.
So you're about to have surgery.
But I'm not gonna say good-bye, because this is not the end of our story.
Do you hear me, Michael? You're gonna wake up, and you're gonna be okay.
And we're gonna move into our new house.
And we're gonna live there until we outgrow it.
Because I'll be pregnant with our third kid, because we landed on three the other night Three kids total.
Which will seem overwhelming, but Mateo's such a big help.
Oh, and we're gonna go to the mountains.
We're gonna take 'em to the mountains because we always wanted to be in the snow.
(kids laughing) And then we'll go every year.
And-And that trip will become a tradition.
We're huge on family traditions, by the way.
Christmas, Easter, Sunday night family dinners.
And even when the kids move out and have families of their own, they'll always come back for Sunday night dinners.
Mateo? Partly because they want to see us, but partly because you're such a great griller.
(sniffles) You're a really great griller, Michael.
And we're gonna be that old couple that sit on the front porch.
Reminiscing, arguing over details.
I thought it was a broken taillight.
No, it was an illegal U-turn.
And we'll get a stupid cat, 'cause, yes, you convinced me to get one.
And we're gonna be happy, Michael.
We're gonna be happy.
Okay, it's time.
Mm-hmm.
(sniffles) (indistinct announcement over intercom) We wanted to come.
For support.
(garbled radio transmission) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: At this moment, I should mention that Michael and Petra's fates are linked.
I just don't understand.
You know these doors lock automatically.
Yeah, well, uh At least, Petra knew.
I'm upset.
And I, I know Michael was shot and everyone's scared.
But my sister had a stroke.
And now she's lying there in some hospital bed all by herself and she must be so scared and I just want to see her.
I need to see her.
Of course you do.
(sighs) I'm sorry.
With everything going on with Michael, I, I Look, just, I'll look through the security footage.
Let her go to the hospital.
I don't know.
She's been acting pretty suspicious.
Well, you know she was with me last night.
So she's not a suspect.
Unless you want me to get my lawyers involved? (praying in Spanish) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yes! Petra, go! Move! DENNIS (over radio): No update.
Cordero's still in surgery.
- So, you can go now.
- No problem for me to stay with you, ma'am.
Hello, Anezka.
PATRICIA: Can I have half? (garbled radio transmission) The surgery went well.
- (sighs of relief) - We got the bullet fragments and he's already showing signs of movement in his lower body.
- (laughing) - (applause) (radio crackles) DENNIS: Cordero's out of surgery.
Doing good.
Copy that.
Great news.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I did say their fates were linked.
You're okay? (laughing): You're really okay.
(sniffling) Wait, who are you? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: No! Not amnesia! I'm just kidding.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God, I hate you! I love you, I love you.
I love you so much.
(sniffles) Oh (gasps) (laughs) - So? - Mm-hmm? What's this about you promising me a cat if I woke up? - You heard? - Nah.
The nurse told me.
But I'm psyched.
- Yeah, you're not really getting one.
- What? You're gonna go back on a deathbed promise? Come on! - Are you serious? - Yeah, definitely.
I want my cat.
Faith M.
Whiskers III.
(laughs) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Remember, I did say this was a story about Faith.
Actually, screw the rules.
Let's jump ahead for real this time.
You got to see this cat.
- - She's so freakin' adorable.
We'll talk about it later.
There's nothing to talk about.
I'm getting my cat.
Ah, if this were only a romance novel.
We could end here and they'd get their HEA.
(knocking) But, alas, this isn't a romance novel.
So, listen, I don't want to interrupt, but we should really talk now that you're up, in case you remember anything about the shooting.
MICHAEL: Absolutely.
I remember everything.
It's a telenovela, remember? It was my partner.
Susanna Barnett.
And we're right smack in the middle.
And I just think if I move my sister here, then I-I'll be able to Keep her paralyzed? Take care of her.
Talk to her so she won't be so lonely.
That sounds like a great idea.
Thank you.
Well, for everything.
Without you, I would've broken down.
Today.
Last night.
Yeah, um, I actually wanted to talk to you about last night.
You don't regret it, do you? No.
Because I always wondered if, uh, you know, that thing that we had, if it was still there.
You know? And it just wasn't.
What? I'm sorry.
I just, I want to be honest.
You've told me to be honest.
But things just felt different.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Because it wasn't Petra! So I'm glad that it happened.
Because now we can move on to being friends.
Because romantically, I just don't want to go there again.
Forget what I say earlier, Mother.
Rafael part of plan is on, too.
Yeah, no, right Well, that's what I mean.
Let's fry the onion rings.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ooh, I don't like the sound of that.
Hey, thanks again, Erik.
Or that.
I'm sorry, what did you call me? You're Erik Estrada, right? Yeah, from CHiPs.
You thought I was Erik Estrada? That guy's, like, 100.
(gasps) Oh, my God! - Dude, calm down.
- I will not calm down! There are, like, cops everywhere, man.
Good.
You should be arrested.
I gave you guys my urine! And then you make this egregious racial and generational mistake! I hope you rot in jail.
Did I hear something about a urine exchange? Thank you for your help.
A day like this, it just puts things in perspective.
So I wanted to say on the other note, that, of course, I'll stand by you - and the baby.
- Rogelio.
Stop.
I'm not having the baby.
I didn't want to have a baby with you, who I love so much.
(sighs) I'm not having a baby with Esteban.
Well, that's your choice.
Either way, I'm here, okay? Thank you.
I appreciate that.
Yeah.
Ready to go? Yes, sir.
I'll see you at the station in an hour.
You better not be back to work tomorrow, Cordero.
MICHAEL: We'll see.
I don't want him to go back at all.
Me, neither.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: But that's a problem for the future.
And we're not there, yet.
We're here.
So, tox came back.
It wasn't cocaine in the hallway.
It was actually powdered sugar.
Powdered sugar? Like, from donuts? A-Anyway, who cares? It means it was a dead end.
Unless you know a murderous, powdered-donut-eating criminal.
You saved these from your psychopath ex-girlfriend?! Okay, first of all, she's not a psychopath.
She's a sociopath.
(screams) I do know one.
Sin Rostro? But she's dead.
Or someone who was made to look like her is dead.
You have to run a print on A2.
LUISA: Where am I? What's going on? All in good time.
Just know we're going to get our happily ever after.
I promise.
Let's review, shall we? This is Jane.
You'll recall she was accidentally inseminated by Rafael's sperm.
This is their baby, Mateo.
Adorable, right? And this is Detective Michael Cordero Jr.
And after a lot of back and forth and back again, well, Jane and Michael finally got married.
I pronounce you husband and wife.
And I may be biased, but can I just say Best wedding ever.
I mean, this is everything, right? And it was thrown by Jane's father, international telenovela star Rogelio de la Vega .
This is Jane's mother, Xiomara and, man, Rogelio loved her.
But alas, he wanted kids, and she didn't, and so they broke up.
And in a moment of weakness, Xo slept with his nemesis, Esteban.
- And, well, this happened.
- ESTEBAN BOBBLEHEAD: I warned you.
I told you I bust out of condoms.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I know! Straight out of a telenovela, right? Well, imagine this.
Rafael also had twins with his ex-wife, Petra.
Oh, this is Petra.
And this is Petra's twin sister, Anezka.
And, well - this happened.
- (gasps) And poor Petra ended up And then Anezka moved in on Rafael.
I know, cray cray, right? Even crazier? This is Rafael's sister, Luisa.
She used to date Rose, otherwise known as the criminal Sin Rostro.
But now she was dating Michael's partner, Susanna, or she thought she was.
And, friends, this is the hard part.
See, Jane and Michael were about to have sex.
- But then - Don't go anywhere.
- I won't.
- he ran into Susanna.
And suddenly realized You're the mole, you've been leading us to Mutter this whole time Why? Who are you working for? (gasps) Now, come on.
It's time to go.
Which, friends, I'm afraid is where we left off.
For as long as anyone can remember, Jane Gloriana Villanueva believed in the epic love story.
You know, two people destined for each other overcoming obstacles before finally finding their way into one another's arms.
That's right, the stuff of romance novels.
So her very first book reading well, it was a very big deal.
âAnd though she vowed she would never love a soldier, âeven though she knew âhe was going to leave for Paris âat the end of the month, Noelle let herself fall.
â (applause) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And our Jane well, she came prepared.
- What's that? - A list.
So I don't forget a main point.
LAYLA: Now I'm happy to answer any questions.
Yes.
I would like to know why Noelle and Jean Luc don't get together at the end.
Well, love doesn't always work out.
Yeah, in real life.
But this is a romance novel.
In a romance novel they get a happily ever after.
Not happily until a mortar shell explodes just when Jean Luc's finally coming home from the war.
All right, you made your point, sit down.
LAYLA: Some romances don't end happily.
Think of Romeo and Juliet.
But that's one of Shakespeare's tragedies.
Everyone knows in tragedies they end up dead, in comedies they end up happy, and in romance novels they end up together.
Well, sometimes you need to subvert the ending for the element of surprise.
Great, fine, but then don't call it a romance novel, call it fiction.
XIOMARA: I'm sorry, she was really upset when she finished the book.
JANE: But of course I was.
There are rules to the genre.
Go to the RWA website.
All over it, it says you need an HEA.
WOMAN: I mean, I was disappointed too.
I felt empty for days.
You know, she really might be too young for this type of event.
I told you to keep it together.
It was spur of the moment.
You had a list.
Not so spur of the moment.
But, anyway, you you made some good points about genre or whatever.
Well, I learned a lesson.
From now on, I'm reading the ending of books first so I can be prepared for whatever happens.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Which actually raises an interesting question How does knowing the end affect the journey? Because some of you know how this is going to end.
Michael? Michael? Michael? (gasps) Oh, my God, Michael! Michael! Help! Somebody help! I should remind you that I did say that Michael would love Jane until his dying breath.
Okay, you're breathing.
Thank God.
Help! Somebody help please! (crying): Okay.
Stay with me, baby.
Stay with me please.
Stay with me LATIN LOVE NARRATOR: Which brings us here.
Now - Any updates? - No.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Unfortunately, friends, there was no way for Jane to prepare for this.
JANE: Oh, I can't take this waiting.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: It's torture.
He's gonna be okay, hon.
You don't know that.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Which is true because she couldn't skip ahead to the ending.
And we can't either.
So instead, let's flip back (pages turning) to earlier in our epic romance.
(pages flipping quickly) Oops, that's a little too far.
Ah, here we are.
You're seriously not gonna help at all? The morning after Jane's 21st birthday was somewhat less festive than the night before.
Nope.
For Xo at least.
What? We agreed that cleanup was part of your punishment - for last night's behavior.
- (phone chimes) Oh! The cop wants to see me again tonight.
Wow.
And I really booted on his shoes? Twice.
(giggles) I swear, it's like we already have private jokes.
I mean, they're all about you so far, but still.
Ha-ha.
I just can't picture you with a cop.
I know, but, I'm telling you, Ma, that kiss, it was magic.
(car pulling up in distance) Oh, my God.
Sam just pulled up.
- Sam? - Yes, Sam! LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I know what you're thinking, - who the hell is Sam? - Oh, my God, he's coming.
- (car door closes) - Am I too gross? - Do I smell? - Y-you're good, you're good.
Okay, but you're not, so stay away from him.
(doorbell rings) Go on, open the door and act like you haven't been obsessively crushing on him for two years.
- 17 months.
- (scoffs) (seductive music plays) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Well, hello, Sam.
- Oh, hey.
- (chuckles) Wanted to drop something off.
Is now an okay time? Yeah, totally.
(Jane inhales) Actually, let's, um, sit outside.
(door closes) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: So now might be a good time to mention that Jane had been in a love triangle once before.
I'm sorry I couldn't make it last night, I was trying to bang out that Chaucer paper, and then, before I knew it, it was 2:00 in the morning.
- Oh.
So not a big deal.
- No, I - I wanted to come.
- LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Of course, you already know how this one ends.
But still, the journey's worth it, trust me.
Anyway, happy birthday.
Thank you.
Antarctica.
Huh? That's where Bernadette went.
I know how you like to know the ending.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yeah, you're gonna want to back off that smile, just a little.
- Thank you, I can't wait to read it.
- Before tonight? Maria Semple is doing a reading.
Come with me.
- Like a date? - I'd love to.
Or is it not a date? Like, um like just the two of us? I hope not, for Maria Semple's sake.
Oh.
(laughs loudly) Not that funny.
(chuckles softly) Um I just meant, like, did you want to pick me up, - or should we just meet there? - No.
I'll pick you up at 7:00.
And if you want to know how it's gonna end, I'm gonna try and kiss you.
You won't have to try that hard.
(soft chuckle) (door opens) (humming) Oh, my God, Sam just asked me out! - No! - Yes, for tonight! - What about the cop? - What cop? Oh.
You're here for Michael Cordero? I'm Dr.
Lewis and I'm part of the trauma team.
Right now he's in critical condition.
The bullet missed his heart, but it transected some major pulmonary vessels.
There's a lot of bleeding in his chest, we're still trying to stabilize him.
But is he, um will he be all right? Honestly, we don't know yet.
You're his wife? Yes, I am.
Here.
You should hold on to this.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: You know, if this were a romance novel, right about now I'd need to put the book down and take a break.
LATIN LOVE NARRATOR: Ah, yes, we were imagining this was a romance novel.
- Either way, here we are.
- (pages turning) So sorry to bug you, but the doctor just gave us an update, and I think I was in shock, and I didn't ask anything.
But now I'm prepared, so I was wondering if I can talk to a doctor, any doctor? It doesn't even have to be one of your good ones.
Let me see if I can find someone.
Thank you so much.
Oh, Patricia, hi.
How is he? Any update? No, not since we talked.
We just have to have faith.
Well, I don't know about faith.
What we need is information.
Mrs.
Cordero? - Yes.
- Yes.
Um, this is Dr.
Sterling.
He's familiar with Mr.
Cordero's case.
I heard you have some questions.
Good.
Yes.
I need to know what his condition is.
Exactly.
Go on.
You have your list.
- No, it's fine.
- Friend who's a surgeon, and he said to ask specifically LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I'm with Alba.
You need to have faith.
In fact, in many ways, - this is a story about faith - I don't know.
Faith that the past will have some connection - to the present.
- It's only a little white lie.
No one gets hurt.
Michael will never know.
- (door opens) - JANE: Welcome back, Abuela.
Hi, Ma.
- This looks like a real gun! - (screaming) Uh, champagne cork from the big birthday bash.
(scoffs) Hi, Abuela.
Mwah.
So, Ma, ever since Jane turned 21, she's been juggling men like crazy.
I met someone sweet last night, and then Sam asked me out.
Less shocked.
17 months, people.
But, yes, I know.
Finally, the whole dance is over.
Okay, it was more like a solo, but, still.
You know, I stuck with him while he dated Kelly and hung in through the whole Julia fiasco.
And now, finally, finally LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I'm gonna be honest, friends.
She saw the HEA.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a beautiful story.
Hopefully we'll tell it at your wedding.
But just to keep your options open, tell the other guy you're sick.
It's harmless.
Who are you gonna take dating advice from, me or Abuela? (groans softly) (chuckles) Sorry, Abuela.
Uh-uh.
Less detail.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: All right, now let's skip ahead, shall we? (laughing) Oh, this is a really funny moment.
Oh, my God, that's the funniest story I've ever heard! Actually, sorry, it's not relevant to the story.
Let's keep moving.
(doorbell rings) Okay, here we are, later that night.
- Have fun.
- I will.
I won't.
(crickets chirping) Thank you.
(engine starts) (siren wailing) Uh, what'd I do? I don't know.
You weren't speeding.
License and registration.
Uh, sure.
What did he do? Illegal U-turn.
Oh, wow, I'm sorry.
Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the vehicle.
- What? - Excuse me? - Ma'am, please.
- Uh, no, no.
- You don't have to do that.
- JANE: It's fine.
I know him.
I'll be right back.
- Okay.
What's going on? - That's what I'd like to know.
- Are you stalking me? - No, I'm not stalking you.
I happened to be dropping by your house to bring you some soup 'cause you said you were sick.
I made it myself.
It's an old family recipe.
Anyway, then you left your house, clearly not sick, and I happened to see you get in the car, which then engaged in some illegal activity.
He made a U-turn on an empty street.
- An illegal U-turn.
- Hey, is everything okay back there? Sir, please keep your head inside the vehicle.
Anyway, here's your soup.
Thank you.
Have a good night.
Is there anything that I can do? JANE: No.
Just keep Mateo safe.
Of course.
There are cops all over the hotel; they've assured me it's completely secured.
Any leads? I don't think so.
But they will figure out who did this.
Yeah.
Bye.
So, unfortunately, the security footage in that hallway was wiped out.
What? Speaks to pretty sophisticated shooter.
Or someone familiar with the hotel systems.
You said you were here last night? Yes.
Alone? (tribal drumming plays) (gasps) No.
I was with my ex-wife, Petra.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: To clarify, he thought it was his ex-wife Petra.
In fact, it was (Czech accent): Sorry, Mother, I couldn't get to a phone.
Rafael didn't think I should be alone last night.
He was being very sweet.
(giggles) Did you have sex with him? No.
(giggles) You did.
Well maybe.
(giggles) Petra, your laugh You do not laugh like that.
You are not an idiot.
I need you to stay focused.
When did you freeze the chicken? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Let me help here, because they're talking in code.
At 10:00.
MAGDA: Okay.
So you have to get back to baste the chicken in six hours.
I know, I know.
Don't worry.
But you know, I was, I was thinking, Mother, m-maybe we don't have to do Rafael part of plan.
We are doing the side dish, you hloupy osel.
(knocking at door) (Petra's accent): Hold on, Mother.
Hi again, Mrs.
Solano.
Just wanted to let you know that Mr.
Solano confirmed your alibi.
Oh.
Good.
What did he say exactly? That you were together.
Yeah, I know, but I-I mean, did, did he seem happy about it or - Ma'am? - Never mind.
Is that all? No, actually.
We thought you could help us take a look at some security footage.
See if anything looks unusual.
We need to review the hour before the shooting.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: An hour.
She can spare an hour.
From ten different cameras.
Oh.
Wow, that's, uh LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ten hours, you silly donkey.
Um (clears throat) Sorry, I just, uh, I didn't realize it was going to take so much time.
You know what? I should really visit my sister before I buckle in here.
Excuse me? Oh, she's in the hospital.
(whispering): A stroke.
- Oh.
- Triggered by a severe seizure.
And, uh, now she's unable to move.
It's called "locked-in syndrome.
" - Jeez, that's terrible.
- I know.
Awful.
Unfortunately, this investigation is time-sensitive, so we should look at the tapes first.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Oh, good.
Maybe the chicken will defrost.
Which brings us here, to our poor, frozen chicken.
For company.
Reports indicate that the officer shot, Michael Cordero, was taken to St.
Ignatius Hospital, where he remains in critical condition.
The shooter LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Suddenly, Petra felt a tiny bit of hope, knowing that Jane was probably in this very same hospital.
If only she could move.
Or speak.
Or twitch.
And I know we're all wishing Detective Cordero well.
Now, onto sports (TV shuts off) He had a concussion when he was seven.
Oh, oh, yeah, I left it blank.
I was gonna ask you.
Why don't I just do it? Oh, I don't mind.
It has to be right; I know more information.
Plus, it'll give me something to do.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And friends, that's when Rogelio saw something that terrified him.
Two civilians, 0800 hours, clearly engaged in Hey, guys.
Oh, wow.
Uh, yes.
It's me.
I-I understand you wanted a picture, but I have to ask you to treasure it privately and not tweet it out.
Why not? Well, it's a long story.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Here's the short version.
REPORTER 2: It all began when international telenovela star Rogelio de la Vega retweeted an Amber Alert that his grandchild was kidnapped.
Please.
I'll do anything.
Yeah? For reals? For reals.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Okay, where were we? Ah, yes.
Waiting.
Still waiting.
I don't know how you can eat at a time like this.
I just, uh Sorry.
PATRICIA: Oh, don't be dramatic.
Just eat it.
Listen, we're all upset, okay? Don't take it out on Jane.
- I'm not taking it out on Jane.
- Mom, it's fine.
Let's just go outsid for a minute.
Please? I'm sorry, but she's being so rude to you.
She's just scared.
And th and this is how she copes.
- But - Mom.
You're not helping.
Just take a little walk and cool off, okay, please? (exhales) XIOMARA: So this is my fault? Kind of.
You told me to lie.
Oh, stop.
Sam will get over it if he's your happily ever after or whatever.
Maybe.
What? I don't know.
It was a weird date.
And I don't know if it was weird because there was 17 months of buildup, or because of that cop and his stupid soup.
Oh - (laughs) - What? - You like the cop.
- No.
No, I don't.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, he's kind of stalkerish, right? And his choices in music are way off.
And he's a cat person.
His profile picture is him with his cat.
Weird, right? You are on his Facebook page.
I know.
It's just this stupid soup is so good.
(laughs) Fakes left.
He goes right! Oh! (laughs) (groans) Game over! An unprecedented third consecutive trash ball championship! - Oh, you got so lucky.
- Lucky? Three championships is not lucky, my friend.
- Whoop.
.
oh! - Michael Hi.
- Three championships.
- Yeah.
Four, and I get to wear a crown around the station.
Apology cubano.
I didn't make it, but still I obviously didn't have a cold, and I shouldn't have lied about it.
But I was wondering if we can go back to the other night.
I-I mean, not when I shot your gun, but how we felt when we kissed.
ARMSTRONG: You kissed while on duty? - No.
- It wasn't until hours later.
You were at her house for hours? My office, Cordero.
I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to get you in trouble.
No, it's fine, I just obviously didn't put the kiss in the report.
Might have spiced up the report.
So, before we were interrupted, you were saying something about - trying this again.
- I would like that.
Me, too.
And no more lies.
Total honesty.
Perfect.
Which is why I want you to know that I'm also going to be exploring my relationship with Sam.
What? The guy that you pulled over.
It's just, I've been in love with him for 17 months.
I mean, not in love with him, just, like, super into him, and he finally asked me out.
You gotta be kidding me.
I'm just trying to be honest.
Okay, let me be honest.
I'm not interested in being in a love triangle with you and Sam.
It's not a love triangle.
I hardly know you.
Exactly.
I don't even know if I like you.
Well, then, why did you bring me soup? I don't know.
I wish I didn't.
You know what? Have a nice life with Sam, the lawbreaker.
Well, you have a good life with your cat! How do you know about my cat? - Your profile picture, weirdo.
- That's 'cause she just died.
Thanks for bringing that up, jackass! Okay, sorry about your cat, but you don't have to call me a jackass, dick! LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And, friends, in that moment, Jane truly thought she'd never see Michael again.
WOMAN (over P.
A.
system): Dr.
Davis, telephone, please.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Which is obviously not what happened.
(elevator bell dings) (exhales sharply, sobbing) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Okay, so, here we are.
So close Hey, again, just checking your vitals.
Everything looks the same.
But here's a call button just in case.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: and yet so far.
At least for two hours and 23 minutes.
If I might say, you seem a little nervous, ma'am.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Well, she did have a ticking cluck.
(chicken clucking) No, not nervous.
(sighs) I just need to use the restroom.
I'll be right back.
Heard they found a trail of white powder in the hallway.
They're running tests.
Yep.
You know, if it's cocaine, this could be some kind of drug thing.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Uh-oh, friends, I believe Anezka, like her sister, is locked in.
Hmm.
That's suspicious.
Come on! Also rather suspicious Hey.
Oh, yeah.
What? Sorry.
You scared me.
I'm just getting some air.
Yeah, me, too.
- Rogelio.
- What? Let me get a sip of your coffee.
No.
No, no! No, no.
Wh Is that urine? No.
Yes.
I made a deal to give my pee to two tweakers so they could pass a drug test.
In exchange, they agreed not to tweet pictures of me at the hospital.
- I'm pretty sure that's illegal.
- I don't care.
A tweet from me almost ruined Jane's life last year.
I'm not going to let that happen again.
I have to do something for her.
And for Michael.
Oh, Ro Sorry sorry it's it's just you know how I always say he's my best friend? Well, I mean it.
So, you got it? I just need a little more time to hydrate.
Please.
I promise, you'll get what you need.
20 minutes.
I'll do it.
I want to help, too.
So I'll pee in a damn cup.
Great.
Perfect.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And that's when she remembered she'd recently peed on a damn stick.
Actually, forget it, um I'm a woman, so - They can't tell gender.
- Yes, they can.
- No, they can't.
- Yes, they can.
- They can't.
- Sometimes they can! Like when you're pregnant, for instance.
Pregnant? It's Esteban's.
Hey.
I'm sorry about my mom.
Well, hopefully she got ahold of herself.
Hi.
So the good news is that he's stabilized.
Oh We were able to get him into imaging, and the CT scan showed that he had an aortic dissection, which we can manage medically.
- Okay, good.
- That's good.
But the problem is the bullet passed through the chest cavity, and landed near his spine.
Right now there is considerable swelling.
W-What does that mean? Well, there are two options.
Neither's perfect.
We can take a wait-and-see approach, treat him with steroids, see if it works.
But if it doesn't, he risks loss of function.
Possibly from the waist down.
Or we could try to operate, to clear the bone fragments and relieve the pressure on his spinal cord.
This offers slightly better odds on the paralysis front, but he's in critical condition, and surgery comes with real risks.
Then no, we're not doing it.
You can cake some time to discuss it.
I'm sure.
You're his wife, so, technically, it's your decision.
I-I'd like a few minutes to think about it.
You want to risk his life, after all this? I-I don't know, I thought that we should talk.
I need to talk to his father.
I know he's close and I'm pretty sure he'll agree with me.
I think that this wasn't supposed to happen.
We talked about who would take out the trash and when we would have another baby, not what I should do of there was a bullet near his spine.
I don't know what the right answer is.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And, friends, that's when Jane remembered this moment.
(doorbell rings) Which, of course, is where we left off.
What are you doing here? Well, firstly, I wanted to apologize for calling you a jackass.
And I thought about it, and who cares about Sam? Sam can come on our dates if you want him to.
Michael, stop.
It's fine.
Just go.
Seriously.
We had one good night, and I was wasted.
And our sober interactions have been pretty terrible.
If you really mean that If you really want me to walk away Say the words I will.
Walk away.
No.
What are you doing? We had something.
That kiss was magic.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: There's that word again.
The magic of tequila.
Let me kiss you again.
Sober.
Why won't you give up? Because I'm a fighter.
You should know that about me.
I'm a fighter.
He'd want the surgery.
Yes, that's what his father said, too.
I'm just so scared.
Me, too.
So you just have a few minutes while the O.
R.
's being prepped.
(monitor beeping) Hi.
So you're about to have surgery.
But I'm not gonna say good-bye, because this is not the end of our story.
Do you hear me, Michael? You're gonna wake up, and you're gonna be okay.
And we're gonna move into our new house.
And we're gonna live there until we outgrow it.
Because I'll be pregnant with our third kid, because we landed on three the other night Three kids total.
Which will seem overwhelming, but Mateo's such a big help.
Oh, and we're gonna go to the mountains.
We're gonna take 'em to the mountains because we always wanted to be in the snow.
(kids laughing) And then we'll go every year.
And-And that trip will become a tradition.
We're huge on family traditions, by the way.
Christmas, Easter, Sunday night family dinners.
And even when the kids move out and have families of their own, they'll always come back for Sunday night dinners.
Mateo? Partly because they want to see us, but partly because you're such a great griller.
(sniffles) You're a really great griller, Michael.
And we're gonna be that old couple that sit on the front porch.
Reminiscing, arguing over details.
I thought it was a broken taillight.
No, it was an illegal U-turn.
And we'll get a stupid cat, 'cause, yes, you convinced me to get one.
And we're gonna be happy, Michael.
We're gonna be happy.
Okay, it's time.
Mm-hmm.
(sniffles) (indistinct announcement over intercom) We wanted to come.
For support.
(garbled radio transmission) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: At this moment, I should mention that Michael and Petra's fates are linked.
I just don't understand.
You know these doors lock automatically.
Yeah, well, uh At least, Petra knew.
I'm upset.
And I, I know Michael was shot and everyone's scared.
But my sister had a stroke.
And now she's lying there in some hospital bed all by herself and she must be so scared and I just want to see her.
I need to see her.
Of course you do.
(sighs) I'm sorry.
With everything going on with Michael, I, I Look, just, I'll look through the security footage.
Let her go to the hospital.
I don't know.
She's been acting pretty suspicious.
Well, you know she was with me last night.
So she's not a suspect.
Unless you want me to get my lawyers involved? (praying in Spanish) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yes! Petra, go! Move! DENNIS (over radio): No update.
Cordero's still in surgery.
- So, you can go now.
- No problem for me to stay with you, ma'am.
Hello, Anezka.
PATRICIA: Can I have half? (garbled radio transmission) The surgery went well.
- (sighs of relief) - We got the bullet fragments and he's already showing signs of movement in his lower body.
- (laughing) - (applause) (radio crackles) DENNIS: Cordero's out of surgery.
Doing good.
Copy that.
Great news.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I did say their fates were linked.
You're okay? (laughing): You're really okay.
(sniffling) Wait, who are you? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: No! Not amnesia! I'm just kidding.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God, I hate you! I love you, I love you.
I love you so much.
(sniffles) Oh (gasps) (laughs) - So? - Mm-hmm? What's this about you promising me a cat if I woke up? - You heard? - Nah.
The nurse told me.
But I'm psyched.
- Yeah, you're not really getting one.
- What? You're gonna go back on a deathbed promise? Come on! - Are you serious? - Yeah, definitely.
I want my cat.
Faith M.
Whiskers III.
(laughs) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Remember, I did say this was a story about Faith.
Actually, screw the rules.
Let's jump ahead for real this time.
You got to see this cat.
- - She's so freakin' adorable.
We'll talk about it later.
There's nothing to talk about.
I'm getting my cat.
Ah, if this were only a romance novel.
We could end here and they'd get their HEA.
(knocking) But, alas, this isn't a romance novel.
So, listen, I don't want to interrupt, but we should really talk now that you're up, in case you remember anything about the shooting.
MICHAEL: Absolutely.
I remember everything.
It's a telenovela, remember? It was my partner.
Susanna Barnett.
And we're right smack in the middle.
And I just think if I move my sister here, then I-I'll be able to Keep her paralyzed? Take care of her.
Talk to her so she won't be so lonely.
That sounds like a great idea.
Thank you.
Well, for everything.
Without you, I would've broken down.
Today.
Last night.
Yeah, um, I actually wanted to talk to you about last night.
You don't regret it, do you? No.
Because I always wondered if, uh, you know, that thing that we had, if it was still there.
You know? And it just wasn't.
What? I'm sorry.
I just, I want to be honest.
You've told me to be honest.
But things just felt different.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Because it wasn't Petra! So I'm glad that it happened.
Because now we can move on to being friends.
Because romantically, I just don't want to go there again.
Forget what I say earlier, Mother.
Rafael part of plan is on, too.
Yeah, no, right Well, that's what I mean.
Let's fry the onion rings.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ooh, I don't like the sound of that.
Hey, thanks again, Erik.
Or that.
I'm sorry, what did you call me? You're Erik Estrada, right? Yeah, from CHiPs.
You thought I was Erik Estrada? That guy's, like, 100.
(gasps) Oh, my God! - Dude, calm down.
- I will not calm down! There are, like, cops everywhere, man.
Good.
You should be arrested.
I gave you guys my urine! And then you make this egregious racial and generational mistake! I hope you rot in jail.
Did I hear something about a urine exchange? Thank you for your help.
A day like this, it just puts things in perspective.
So I wanted to say on the other note, that, of course, I'll stand by you - and the baby.
- Rogelio.
Stop.
I'm not having the baby.
I didn't want to have a baby with you, who I love so much.
(sighs) I'm not having a baby with Esteban.
Well, that's your choice.
Either way, I'm here, okay? Thank you.
I appreciate that.
Yeah.
Ready to go? Yes, sir.
I'll see you at the station in an hour.
You better not be back to work tomorrow, Cordero.
MICHAEL: We'll see.
I don't want him to go back at all.
Me, neither.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: But that's a problem for the future.
And we're not there, yet.
We're here.
So, tox came back.
It wasn't cocaine in the hallway.
It was actually powdered sugar.
Powdered sugar? Like, from donuts? A-Anyway, who cares? It means it was a dead end.
Unless you know a murderous, powdered-donut-eating criminal.
You saved these from your psychopath ex-girlfriend?! Okay, first of all, she's not a psychopath.
She's a sociopath.
(screams) I do know one.
Sin Rostro? But she's dead.
Or someone who was made to look like her is dead.
You have to run a print on A2.
LUISA: Where am I? What's going on? All in good time.
Just know we're going to get our happily ever after.
I promise.