Kim's Convenience (2016) s03e01 Episode Script

- They were like Badger claws.
- No.
So, I said don't clip them in the bathtub.
But, he insists they just go down the drain.
So, I am in the shower the next day and his nail clippings are cutting my feet like shards of glass.
Oh.
Excuse me.
Forget something.
When Mr.
Kim clip his nails go everywhere like a shotgun.
You can hear them hit the window.
Excuse me but why does Mr.
Kim keep going to the back? Oh, he thinks it's rude to, you know umm - Bang-gwi.
- Bang-gwi? - Fart.
- Oh, I see.
Well, he has made quite a few trips.
Yeah, he have a big lunch.
They say chewing your food helps but I never notice the difference.
- Ta.
- Bye.
- Hi, Janet.
- Hi, Mrs.
Mehta Hi, Umma.
Appa, I can't work tomorrow.
Janet, have to stick to schedule.
I'm sorry something came up at school.
Okay, get my nice cold drink from back and I work for you.
Deal.
You're the best.
Thank you.
She want the day off.
Have to pay price.
- 3, 2 - Oh.
Oh my God Appa your disgusting.
Thank you, Janet.
Enjoy your day off.
You must be hungry.
Oh, you you are too good to me.
- Mug is dirty.
- No, I just take from dishwasher.
Why is there egg on the fork? Everything fresh from dishwasher.
Enjoy your snack.
I see.
Snack sneak attack.
Ok.
I look into fixing dishwasher next week.
You already fix it, that's why it's broken.
We can't afford a new one.
We can afford this one.
But ah we already have a most beautiful dishwasher right here.
Okay.
We start looking for new dishwasher.
Machine, not wife.
Okay, I'll start looking for new la-Z-Boy.
Husband, not chair.
Hey, you're not going to have time for breakfast.
I ate my cereal in the shower.
It's all about the multi-task.
So, your telling me the bowl is still in there? Yeah, but it's clean, multi-task.
You might want to multi-task your fly there, champ.
- Great, now I'm gonna be late.
- Oh Terence is pretty relaxed about that.
Nah, it's just the merge.
Now it's all like, "Do your job, show up on time.
Quit challenging Terence to rap battles.
" It's a pretty tight ship.
Mmm, it's the exact same at my new job.
The phones keep ringing, I gotta answer and it's like "Hello," and they're like, "I need to rent a car.
" And I'm like, "I can help you with that.
" And they're like, "Thanks.
" Totally! Hey, if it ever lets up, you should come by See the old gang.
We could grab lunch.
- Love to.
- You ready? Um You go ahead, I spilled coffee on my tie.
Hey, have fun at the competition.
Ah! Watch your back, pal.
[DOOR OPENS.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[SIGHS.]
[GRUNTS.]
- [WOMAN ON TV.]
Preview of the - [DOOR OPENS.]
[TURNS OFF TV.]
Forgot my podcast, Murdertown.
It's kinda creepy but the music's really cool.
You ready now? Yeah, yeah.
Let's both go to our jobs.
[KNOCKING AT DOOR.]
Okay! Wassup, nerd? Still in your PJs? Your fake job doesn't usually start until noon.
It was a close call with Kimch, so I had to leave.
I'm sure if you just told him It will just make him feel bad for having my old job.
Who put this dirty plate on my desk? The same person who's about to pour coffee on your computer.
I'm just trying to create a healthy work space.
Maybe start by creating some work.
All the jobs out there are dust.
- I got my GED and everything.
- And that's great, not what I'd lead with but I just want a legit position.
Good company, my own office, likeable co-workers.
Just call your own job.
Just talk to Shannon.
[SIGHS.]
It's complicated.
What'd you do? Did you sleep together? Did Alejandro catch you? - [GASPS.]
Was there a fight? - No! But we kissed.
Ugh, yawn! It was major chemistry.
And things got weird.
Well, this is weirder, so make it happen.
I just think it would be a step backwards.
From this? Okay break time! Where's your TV? Wow! That's a good price for a dishwasher.
- You should call them.
- No.
- I make that.
- Hmm? I take that to this price match store and they have to give to me for this price.
- Look real, huh? - Highly credible.
Though your customer quote, "Would shop again at this actual, real, not fake store" - tips it slightly.
- Hmm.
- You ordered a dishwasher? - No! Yes! Come straight through.
Upstairs.
Ah, Mrs.
Kim! Oh, Mr.
Mehta, I'm very contagious right now.
[MR.
MEHTA.]
I'm coming down with something too.
If something's going around, why fight it? - [GIGGLES.]
- [UMMA CLEARS THROAT.]
What you doing? Buying new dishwasher.
What you doing? Also buying new dishwasher.
Mine is clearance price, don't worry.
Clearance price is a gimmick.
Like our "all you can eat" buffet.
Everyone thinks it's a bargain but we actually put less meat in the curry.
I love watching people fish endlessly for that elusive morsel of chicken.
I just need someone to sign.
Yeah, I sign.
Thank you.
[MR.
MEHTA.]
They literally spend ten minutes fishing, dipping I want to scream, "It's just not there.
" Umma, I have a whole plan.
Have you seen his flyer? Parts of it are very convincing.
But I just buy this one and it's here.
But I can get one for cheaper, huh? Save $200.
Hmm, buy you nice dress, fancy shoes or just save $200! Fine, but I want new, working dishwasher this week, promise? I promise.
Like the promise of a meat-filled curry for $3.
99.
It's just not possible.
[MS.
MURRAY.]
Branding is everything.
Let's take a look at Dree's website.
Boldly original, a true reflection of the artist.
[WHISPERING.]
I bet she paid someone a lot of money to make that It's, uh, already paid for from the work I've gotten.
So great.
[MS.
MURRAY.]
Let's take a look at another website.
- Oh, you can look at mine.
- Great.
Janet Kim, photography.
Oh, Janet, this is beautiful.
That's not mine.
Well, kudos to this Janet Kim.
Just go back to the searches, it should be the next one.
Janet Kim Cam, that's cute.
- Also not me.
- It's a common name.
There it is, photography by Janet Kim.
Nope, can you try the next page.
This is a good lesson in accessibility.
If I had any interest in Janet's work, I would have lost it by now.
- Wow, what a beaut! - [APPA.]
Yeah.
And for $200 less than this one.
So you swindle an honest appliance store.
No, I trick them into price match.
Their policy, their problem.
Hi, Frank, what's happening? - Fraud mostly.
- No.
I get the same dishwasher for so much less.
- Price match.
- Good.
So, now, Frank stole my cheap one and I return the overpriced one.
Okay.
Uh, I think you mean, "Thank you, my handsome husband.
You're just so very smart and save us so much money.
" I thank you when the dishwasher is working.
- It's going to be working soon.
- Then I thank you soon.
- And the kitchen is - Upstairs.
Oh, dear.
I charge $8 a stair, unless it's a 10-inch stair, then that's $8.
50.
And if there's a ladder, it's 10 bucks a round.
No ladder.
Still, gonna need my back girdle.
And, uh, somewhere to change.
Can I help you? No, I'm just here to see Kimchee.
I used to work here.
Well, not here but the old location.
Okay.
Dude! You made it! Let me get my jacket and we can jet.
Yeah, totally.
I thought I lost my mind.
[LAUGHS.]
Long story short, Omar, I and the woman whose phone you found both think you are "Omar-zing.
" - [BOTH LAUGH.]
- Well, happy to help.
I came up with "Omar-zing" by the way.
Yeah, I figured.
- Hey.
- Hey! Hope you're not here to spy on us.
"Alert, hide your secrets.
Competitor in the building.
" I'm just here to grab some lunch.
Oh, I don't know if that's a great idea - With Kimchee.
- Oh, right.
Good.
So, how are things with, uh - Alejandro? Good, yeah.
- I was talking about your cats.
Oh, they're great.
Crazy as always, and don't let them near the tuna water.
Cool.
Grand.
Oh, here's something.
There's this guy at Comfy Car Rental, Dave.
Nice guy, but he's looking for a change.
- Okay.
- Yeah, he's, uh He's smart, pretty good-looking, takes care of himself, but he just doesn't really fit in over there.
Oh, like a Terence.
No! I mean no.
Um, anyway, he's made some mistakes but he's looking to start fresh, if that's something you're open to? Well, we're kind of fully staffed right now since the merge, but forward me his resume and I will definitely think about it.
Great, I love that.
That for Dave.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS.]
[APPA SIGHS.]
Oh, look good.
Maybe one day could be you.
Then that day is today.
What you talking? This website is belong to Kim Eiu Kyung.
Yeah, me.
You are Kim "Janet.
" That's my English name.
This is my new unique Korean name.
It means justice treasure.
- Who gave to you this name? - I did.
I needed to stand out 'cause my parents gave me a super boring English name.
Don't blame me.
I wanted to call you Hae Sun, but big fight with Umma.
She wanted to call you "Su-Young.
" So much yelling, couldn't agree.
So you settled on Janet? Just to be safe for we not give you a name people make fun of.
"Dumb dumb Jung," Ping Pong Jung Donkey Kong Jung.
" We tease him so much.
[BLOWS RASPBERRY.]
Well, now I'm Eiu Kyung, so, tease away.
- Eiu Kyung.
- Yeah, Eiu Kyung.
- Eiu.
- Eiu.
Eiu! Sound like you're Jewish.
Or creative.
Anyway, my professional name is now, Eiu Kyung.
Eiu Kyung? Yeah! Her! Me! Us! Yeah, okay, I go to return dishwasher.
- [GRUNTS.]
- But you just bought it.
Don't ask so many questions.
- How was that a question? - See? Like that.
- Oi! - Yeah? [CELL PHONE VIBRATING.]
Hey! Hi-ya! Is this a good time? It's Shannon, by the way.
Yeah, hey, what's up? Well, I've been thinking about Dave.
- Really? - Yeah, and we are swamp city over here, and you're right.
People deserve a second chance.
Absolutely.
So, theoretically, when do you think Dave can start? [EXHALES HEAVILY.]
Right away.
Great! Then why don't you tell him to come on in for a meeting, and we'll see what we can do.
- Sure thing.
- Ah, but he should know we're going to give him a bit of a ribbing for working for the competition.
Yeah, I get that, he probably deserves it.
Thank, Shannon.
Bye.
Yes! Next! Hi.
My name is Mr.
Kim.
I come from South Korea to Canada a long time ago.
My wife and me, we just struggle everyday - You wanna return this? - Yeah.
Okay.
Can you just open that for me, please.
[BEEPS.]
Oh, serial number is not coming up.
Are you sure you bought it here? Yeah, my wife buy from here.
Well, according to our records, we never stocked this unit.
So, I'm afraid we can't take it back.
What? This dishwasher was not bought at this store.
Sorry.
Next! Hey, Stacie.
Can you call the Parkdale branch and have them send over as many mid-sized sedans as they can spare.
- Do you want me to do that right now? - Yes, now.
We are giving away full sized sedans at mid-size prices.
It is a bloodbath.
[JUNG.]
Hey Shannon.
New guy's here.
Ready to crack some skulls.
Great, where's Dave? [JUNG.]
Where is he, indeed.
Reporting for duty, Captain.
What? - I'm Dave.
- How are you Dave? - We were talking in code.
- What code? The one where Dave meant me.
I thought you got that.
I did not get that.
Oh! Can I talk to you in my office, please? - Should I come? Can I come? - No! Call the other branch.
Here you go, clean snack.
- No egg on fork.
- Oh, yeah.
See? Everything work out.
Frank even give us a discount on the last four steps because he tripped.
Oh, where you going? Just a couple of things to do.
Also, sneak attack Janet.
Maybe today is the day I catch her doing something very bad.
Okay, have fun.
And take your time.
[GRUNTING.]
[SIGHS.]
It's kinda funny.
It's not funny.
They never hired you so you've been Working from home.
Well, not my home, my sister's home.
Keepin' the muscles loose.
There's no TV, so you can get a lot done.
I thought you didn't want to work here because there was no room for the advancement you were looking for, - which hasn't changed.
- I know.
And I'm not looking for advancement now.
I'm looking for work.
Okay.
I see how maybe I gave you the idea that there could be some advancement, and maybe I liked that you showed interest in filling that position.
So, if by position you mean Oh, I don't.
No more kissing the boss.
Right.
Right.
And if you can live with that, then maybe there is a position that would be good for the both of us.
Uh job position.
[SIGHS.]
Thank you.
That would be "Ama-zing.
" [CELL PHONE VIBRATES.]
- That's weird.
- Hope it's not a better offer.
It's my dad.
[JANET.]
Should you be eating those? It's just so good.
- Ciao, Dree.
- Bye.
Oh, and this is Gerald Tremblay.
And [WHISPERS.]
Janet, I think you're at the wrong booth.
No, just a bit of re-branding.
I'm Eiu Kyung.
It's my Korean name.
- It means buried treasure.
- Justice treasure.
You can see the full collection on my website.
Very cool, Eiu Kyung.
Yeah, this looks great, Eiu.
It's pronounced Eiu with an "o.
" It's spelt like this.
Oh! But it's pronounced Eiu.
No, I mean, "Oh, the card is different from the poster.
" And they're both different than the website.
[CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY.]
The website is the right one.
Such a unique name! And so hard to remember.
- Are those cookies? - Yes, but they're mine.
- Appa.
- Huh? - Jung.
- I, uh, got your text.
- Obviously.
- Good.
I have a job for you.
Look, I don't know what Janet told you but it was just a little blip, okay? I got my job back.
Things are good.
- You lose your job? - No! Working at Handy still.
- Why did you text me? - Have a surprise for Umma.
Am I coming with you? [UMMA.]
Hi, Janet.
Umma, what are you doing here? What is this white powder? It's sweetener from Bulk Boutique.
Oh.
Have a nice day.
Can you please call before you come over? - No.
- Eiu Kyung.
- Her work is not very good.
- They're mine.
Then why is it Eiu Kyung? Because there's a million "Janet Kims" out there.
My name sucks.
What are you talking? Janet is a beautiful name.
I choose.
Well, I wish you chose something more interesting.
Janet we choose your name for special reason.
When we first starting store, there was old lady, regular customer.
She help me with English, babysit Jung and always bring banana bread.
Maybe too much.
And I always think, "Oh, she is an angel God sent to us, to help.
" And that's why we name you Janet.
So, was her name Janet? - Yeah.
I didn't say that? - No.
Oh, her name, it was Janet and that's why we name you Janet.
That's kinda sweet.
- Thanks, Umma.
- Aw.
Yeah, she was very kind lady, and her kind spirit live in you.
- She died? - Yeah.
I didn't say that? - No.
- Aw, yeah.
Still, very nice story.
All right, all right, all right.
Watch finger.
Watch finger.
Watch finger! Ah! Okay.
Good.
Good.
Okay, so now we just Wait, is that the same dishwasher? Okay, what happened is Umma buy that one.
Hmm.
But I make a fake ad for doing price match.
And it work.
Can you believe? But then Frank, he made a big mix-up.
And I take wrong one to right store.
They check serial number on the door but it's not from that store.
So, now we take this dishwasher out, put this one in, take the right one back to store.
They scan, full refund.
Genius.
Okay.
Or we could just switch the dishwasher doors.
Then you still get a full refund.
Mmm, yeah.
That's a good idea, too.
All right, let's get to work.
- What you doing? - Oh! You back already.
Why is there two dishwasher and their both doors broken off? That would be my idea.
Found it.
- Jung? - [APPA.]
Yeah.
He is helping me.
Yeah, Appa wanted to surprise you by installing the cheaper dishwasher.
And Jung come over and help move.
Yeah, Appa did most of the lifting.
But then Jung come up with the best idea.
Switch the doors so you can return the more expensive one.
That's where the barcode is.
But before we know, so many wires all over and, uh who would've thought the door was the brains of the operation.
So, both dishwasher is broken now? But we are working together, father and the son.
Mmm.
Are those happy tears or sad tears? [SOBBING.]
I don't know.
I want our family together but I also want a working dishwasher.
But if you have to choose [UMMA.]
Oh! Oh!