Kung Fu Panda Legends Of Awesomeness (2011) s03e01 Episode Script

3x01 - Shifu's Ex Hear the legends of the Kung Fu Panda! Doo-doo-doo-doo doo-bom doo boom-boom! Raised in a noodle shop never seeking glory or fame he climbed the mountain top and earned the Dragon Warrior name.
Hu! Ah! Ya! Kung Fu Panda! Doo-doo-doo-doo- sho-bom, doom-doom-doom! Master Shifu saw the warrior blossom and master the skills of bodacious and awesome Kung Fu Panda.
Doo-doo-doo-doo doom-doom-doom-doom! He lives, he trains and he fights with the Furious Five protect the Valley somethin' somethin' somethin' somethin' alive Oh! Ah! Uh! Kung Fu Panda Legends of awesomeness.
Sweet! [wistful music.]
[all grunting.]
[exaggerated grunt.]
And one.
[breathes heavily.]
Ready, Master Shifu.
All limbered up.
Good, panda, because I've prepared something special for you.
- Is it pudding? - It's not pudding.
It's a little something I like to call "the ordeal of 100 arrows.
" [screams.]
[sighs.]
- Oh, a little teamwork action, huh? - I'm just going to demonstrate.
- And I work better - Oof! Alone.
[metal clinks.]
That.
Was.
Awesome! A true kung fu master keeps his composure even in the most dire of circumstances.
- Master Shifu, it's Mei Ling! - Mei Ling? Lock the doors! Man the gates! - Double the guard! - Mei Ling? Oh no! [gong rings.]
Full alert! Full alert! - Master Shifu? - No, no talk to time.
Danger! Mei peril! Ling! - It's Mei Ling! It's Mei Ling! - Who's Mei Ling? No idea.
Come on! [grunts.]
- Master Shifu? - Hurry! Battle stanctions! Combat ziptiks! Razza frapsit! Razza frapsit! You heard him, guys! Razza frapsit! [heavy knocking.]
Mei Ling's here.
New plan: Hide! - Wow.
He's terrified.
- Me too.
Don't worry, monk.
Just gotta banish fear from our brain parts.
[deep breath.]
Banish, banish banish, banish, banish.
All right, Mei Ling.
Let's see what you got.
[battle cry.]
Wha? - Mistress Mei Ling.
- Mm, razza frapsit.
Good to see you, Zeng.
Miss me? Uh, maybe a little.
[inhales deeply.]
Ahh.
Mm, let me guess.
Shifu's students, right? Yeah, sorry, miss Ling, uh, you just missed Shifu.
- He's not here.
- Oh, such a shame.
I was hoping he'd be hiding in that cabinet.
Gah! Stay back! Don't come any closer.
- Why is Shifu so afraid of her? - Because I can do this.
Yah! [kung fu grunting.]
Whoa.
She's pretty good.
Yah! [both grunting.]
Shifu, you've really kept up your strength.
- Oh, I, uh oof! - Men are so gullible.
- She beat Shifu.
- [chuckles.]
I always do.
He never could bring himself to fight his own girlfriend.
Girlfriend? [faints.]
Girlfriend? - Ex-girlfriend.
And evil incarnate.
- Mm, so dramatic.
But yes, I suppose I was a bit of a bad girl back in the day.
Shifu was a young prodigy.
I was a rogue kung fu master.
It was love at first fight.
We became quite the item, but it couldn't last.
[ding.]
[impacts.]
[groans.]
Shifu felt a higher calling.
[grunts.]
But I used kung fu as a way to make a living.
When I refused to change my ways, Shifu dumped me.
He cared more about the honor of kung fu than he cared about me.
That's not true.
I cared about you very much, it's just that Wait, I totally get it! Mei Ling doesn't scare you because she can beat you, she scares you 'cause you're afraid you still like her.
I, uh Po, that's ridiculous.
[all humming innocently.]
Your mouth says "no", but your eyes say "don't mind if I do.
" Forbidden love, so romantic! Never.
Mei Ling is a petty thief.
- That's what I came to tell you, Foofy.
- Foofy? Oh ho ho, yeah! I'm here because I want to change.
I want to follow the honorable path of kung fu - with you.
- I I don't know what to say.
- Sounds sincere to me.
Ugh! Aah! Honor demands that I take you at your wordfor now.
You may stay at the palace for a time.
But that doesn't mean I trust you.
Not now.
Not ever.
[sighs.]
[strumming sound.]
China moon, I love you China moon, do do do Stop.
Master Shifu.
What a surprise.
Just casually sitting outside your door, playing a love song to stir your inner wantings.
[strums.]
- No more singing! - Ah, more of an instrumental guy.
[rapid strumming.]
Hiya! Silence is good too.
Master Shifu, I don't wanna get too personal, but you're alone.
A lot.
Why are you so afraid of getting close to someone? - Out! - Oof! Aah! [sighs.]
[checks breath.]
I've come to apologize for my earlier behavior.
Having second thoughts about me? Let's just say I'd like to believe that you, uh, - people can change.
- Come inside and let's talk about it.
- Well, I really should be, uh - Yes! - So, um, I like your, uh, your room.
- This is your palace, remember? Oh, yes, yes, of course, I-it's that I I live here, yeah.
Things weren't the same once you left, Foofy.
- I suppose I could understand how - Things are going to be different now.
I'm not letting you get away from me this time.
How can you be so Ugh! Mei Ling? What have you done? Relax, Foofy.
I'm just borrowing your body for a bit with this.
A Zhou Deng soul gem.
No, you can't! Hiya! I'm sorry, my love.
I need your team to do something very dangerous for me, and they'd never say no to their honorable Master Shifu, would they? [evil laugh.]
[metal clanks.]
- Huh? - Get comfy, Foofy.
You might be down here a while.
- Mei Ling, I thought you cared for me.
- Aw, Foofy, I do care.
But you've always been bound by the principles of honor and goodness.
It's always stood between us, but not for long.
- What do you mean? - You'll see.
[blows kiss.]
Later, handsome.
Mei Ling! Mei Ling! Guys! Guys! I have the best news about Shifu and Mei Ling.
You're going to mind your own business? [chuckles.]
Better.
I think Shifu may actually get back together with Mei Ling! Might wanna slow down there, cheetah boy.
You're right, Mantis, don't wanna rush things.
Still, couldn't hurt getting a jump on planning the wedding.
I'm thinking we go with an autumn leaves thing.
Tigress, Viper, you'll be the flower girls and of course, I'll be Shifu's best man, right? - Who else? I know.
- Morning, team.
- Time to get to work.
- Uh, great where's Mei Ling? Oh, that.
Things didn't work out.
- That's what I'm tal wait, what? - It just wasn't meant to be.
Yes, Mei Ling is beautiful, exciting, and a little dangerous, but I'm too stodgy and unimaginative.
True, but I mean, I mean, how will you ever get over it? Aw, don't worry, chunky.
I know just how to forget her, by losing ourselves in a sweet, sweet caper.
- Hmm? - I mean mission.
You know, mission thing with honor, for good and the like.
The imperial jewels will be transported through town on their way to the capital.
You will take out the guards, steal the jewels, and bring them back here.
Whoa! You want us to rob the imperial jewels? It's just a test.
The Emperor's concerned about security and wants to make sure the jewels are heist-proof.
- Oh, that makes sense.
- Consider it done, Master Shifu.
Thank you.
Your support and friendship means a lot to me, Tiger girl, Bug guy, and, uh, the rest of you.
- "Bug guy"? - Secret mission.
New nicknames.
Shifu's back! Come on, guys.
[chuckles.]
[grunting.]
Can't quit.
I've gotta stop her.
China moon, I love you China moon you love me too - Zeng! Zeng! - Yes, mistress Mei Ling? Uh, Master Shifu ordered me not to speak to you.
Then let me talk to one of the Five or even Po.
I can't.
Master Shifu just sent them off on a mission.
- Something about the imperial jewels.
- So that's her game.
Zeng, listen, Shifu's not Shifu.
I am and she's me.
Uh, I mean, I'm her, I mean - Um, I'll just keep sweeping.
- Zeng, don't go.
I'm so lonely? [uneasy.]
Please keep me company.
- You want me to keep you company? - Yes, uh, tell me all about Zeng.
Where do you see yourself in five years? Hopefully, far away from that ungrateful Shifu.
Ungrateful! How dare I mean, tell me more, uh, handsome.
He's on my back every day.
"Zeng, sweep the stairs! "Zeng, draw my bath! "Zeng, find my buttons! No, the other buttons.
" But one day, I'm gonna look Shifu right in the eye and I'm gonna say to him [crack.]
Agh! - Men are so gullible.
[gurgles.]
[music.]
We'll stop here.
[both scream.]
I don't know.
This whole thing seems odd.
Don't be silly.
Shifu knows what he's doing.
Now come on, let's steal us some jewels.
- How? Just fight our way in? - You're right, bug guy.
We've gotta think like criminals.
We'll need stealth, cunning, wiriness, chicanery.
- We get the idea.
- Yes, you do.
Whoa! [grunting.]
Halt! - So, fight our way in? - Works for me.
Oof! [battle cry.]
Ya aah! Hey! [groans.]
Ooh! This isow! Harderow! Than I thought ow! [fading scream.]
Come on.
Hiya! - Are we awesome thieves or what? - We're not done yet.
We still have to get these jewels back to Shifu.
[gasps.]
I'm too late.
Stop, all of you! You don't know what you're doing.
Mei Ling! You've got a lot of nerve coming here after you broke Shifu's heart.
- She's here to steal the jewels! - Get her.
Listen, I'm not Mei Ling.
- Right.
Then who are you? Shifu? - Yes, I am Shifu.
Mei Ling used a Zhou Deng soul gem to switch bodies with me.
You have to believe me.
I say we end her crime-committing, heart-breaking career once and for all.
- Stop, don't make me fight you! - Lady, we're looking forward to it.
[battle cry.]
Hiya! [kung fu grunting.]
Oof! Aah! Wow, she is good.
She obviously learned a lot from Shifu.
- She fights just like him.
- I am Shifu! - Ready crossbows.
- This ain't good.
Aim! Fire! [metal clinking.]
Huh? Reinforcements! [all grumbling.]
- Shifu, it is you! - Master? - Shifu's a lady.
[chuckles.]
- It's a good look for you.
Mei Ling sure went to a lot of trouble to steal some jewels.
It's more than that.
She thinks that by destroying the honor of the Jade Palace, I'll have no choice but to come crawling back to her.
- Whoa, that is devious.
- [chuckles.]
Women.
Ooh! Agh! We've got to get back and [horn sounding.]
[music.]
Razza frapsit! Razza frapsit! [horn sounds.]
- Attack! [all shout.]
- What are we going to do? Please, Master, I'm sorry I let Mei Ling get away.
- Have mercy.
- Keep plucking.
I can't think with these ridiculous eyebrows.
Chunky? And you others.
Did you get the jewels? Whoa, hey, you caught Mei Ling.
You can drop the pretense.
They know everything.
I warn you, I've been to your armory and What are you doing? The imperial army is right on our collective tails.
- They think we're all traitors! - Like you wanted.
I'm sorry, Foofy.
I only wanted to get you back.
And the jewels.
But mostly you.
- Open up! Open up! - They're here! And they sound mad! - Open now! - Let us in! We can still get away.
We'll be together, just like before.
We'll never get away, Mei Ling.
But, for whatever it's worth, I-I realize now that I was a fool to choose kung fu over you.
Surrender or we'll burn this palace to the ground! I'm ready to face whatever happens because I've got you again.
Oh, Foofy.
We can't hold them much longer! We'll never survive.
How about one last kiss? Of course, my darling.
[gasps.]
Youyou broke the spell.
How? You let me get close enough to lift this.
Not bad, huh? What's the difference now? The army, we'll be [blows horn.]
[stomping.]
Oh, hey.
Thanks, guys.
Very convincing.
Happy to make up for the misunderstanding.
You still love your precious honor more than you ever loved me.
[kung fu grunting.]
We both know that you can't bring yourself to fight me.
True.
But there are those that would be more than happy to oblige.
- Hi there.
- Oh, darn.
[music.]
Master Shifu? [sighs.]
I just wanted to say that I'm sorry I butted into your personal life.
Oh, I've already forgotten about that.
Oh, and I also forgot to mention that Mei Ling escaped on her way to Chor Ghom prison.
[spits.]
[excited.]
She did? That's that's [serious.]
uh, unfortunate.
You totally still like her.
Even after all that? I [sighs.]
it's complicated.
Ah, forbidden love.
China moon, I love you China moon, you love me too China moon, y Right.
I'll just go now.
[hums song.]