Kung Fu Panda: The Dragon Knight (2022) s03e01 Episode Script

[exclaiming, grunting]
Skadoosh.
- [peaceful music plays]
- [snoring]
[grunting]
[exhales, snorts]
[muttering] Dumplings
[snorts, sniffs]
- [gasps] Poison gas!
- [yelps]
[gasps] Is that a thing?
Huh? What?
I am not getting poisoned again.
Blow at it! Blow it away!
[blowing]
[coughing]
[creaking]
It's not working.
Grab the Tianshang Weapons. Abandon ship!
- [exclaiming]
- [panting]
Po. It's fog.
Ah!
Which means we're nearly to England.
One step closer
to destroying these weapons.
[stirring music plays]
[Rukhmini grunts] I want my whip!
Hey. You're never gonna get in there.
It's impenetr apen intrenapen
You can't op It's locked.
Oh, I want my whip. [groaning]
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, come on.
We promised Mastodon we wouldn't use them.
He won't know.
He's trapped in that Wind Wheel.
Rukhmini.
[groans] How am I
supposed to defend myself, hm?
Defend against whom?
- We're in the middle of the ocean.
- [creaking]
[gasps]
[dramatic music plays]
[groans] Look what you did.
Hello
Soul Reaper.
[whimpers]
[whimpering] Huh? Huh?
I think you got the wrong ship, pal.
There's no Soul Reaper here.
This is just my dad.
Dad?
You've been busy.
[gulps] Uh-huh.
But I have exactly the right ship, pal.
And he's coming with me.
Huh?
[laughs]
- Po?
- Dad, don't worry.
- This lady's obviously confused.
- [Rukhmini] That ain't no lady, kid.
That's the Pirate Queen Forouzan.
[dramatic music plays]
You can leave now,
or we can throw you overboard.
[clicks fingers]
[grunts]
[grunts, yelps]
- Weimin?
- Colin?
You're a pirate now?
No, no. Just a means to an end.
I'm a pirate. Full-on. [growls]
Get them!
[yelling]
[yelling, grunting]
[yelps]
Surrender now.
[whistles]
[gasping]
[deep groaning]
[exclaiming, yelling]
No! Oh, oh, oh! What?
[straining]
- [gasps]
- [yelps]
- Say hello to Alice. She's a friend.
- [echoing groans]
Take what you can!
- [pirates yell]
- Grab it, boys. We're open for business.
Not so fast.
On behalf of the Queen of England,
I am hereby commandeering this ship,
and taking you all in as my prison
[echoing yell]
- [splashing]
- Anyone else?
- [Alice groans]
- [whimpers]
Take Ping.
The bears, too.
They've got bounties on their heads.
[exclaiming]
[grunting]
[Mr. Ping wails]
[exclaiming]
[Forouzan] Enjoy dying
in the middle of the ocean.
- [Forouzan, faintly] Goodbye.
- Hey, come on. We're valuable too.
Great. Just great.
- [knocking]
- We're stranded.
If I had my whip,
I could have taken them easily.
- [Akna strains]
- [thumping]
Huh? What?
I brought my tools. Okay?
I have
a strict "never get stranded" policy.
Oh yeah, what loser
could ever make that mistake?
Do you know where she's taking them?
[Rukhmini] A place
all thieves hope to see someday.
[atmospheric music plays]
[Rukhmini] Candlelight Cove.
A smuggler's paradise
where the most cunning, ruthless thieves
come to hide from the law,
though few escape with their lives.
[whimpers]
[Rukhmini] Let's go get my whip.
[Akna] And our friends?
[Rukhmini] Yeah, yeah, them too.
[distant music and chatter]
[somber music plays]
- [whimpering]
- [pirate 1] I say we go to the left.
- And I'd say we go to the left.
- [laughs] Yeah. You would
Legend has it,
the local pirates decapitated trespassers.
- Hope we get to see one of those.
- [pirates argue]
[groaning]
- [whoops] This is gonna be great.
- [whimpers]
[gasps] Look!
[Mr. Ping whimpers]
Walk.
[Akna] There they are!
We gotta rescue them.
Slow down, kid.
Alright, first things first.
We need to work on blending in.
Ah, there. Follow me.
Huh?
Huh? Hm?
[grunts]
- [yells]
- [laughs]
Like taking candy from a pirate.
- Which is also punishable by death.
- [groans]
- Oi! You two.
- [gasps]
Here we go. Hold onto your head.
[dramatic music plays]
My kid's youth group is raising money
for the "Sponsor a Sea-dog" program.
[pirate 2] Ten more doubloons
and she gets a really neat pen.
What? No. Go away.
[groans] Sorry to bother you.
Have a wonderful day.
They seem pretty cool?
You have no idea what cool means.
Come on, let's go.
[clamoring and music from inside]
[yelps]
[grunts]
- [glass breaking]
- [loud chatter]
What do you think they're planning?
A bar brawl? An eating contest?
I hope it's not trivia night.
My dad forgets things under pressure.
- Yeah, I doubt it's trivia.
- [Forouzan clears throat]
- [gasping]
- [shushing]
[Forouzan] Attention!
Court is now in session.
Oh, it's a trial? Phew!
Phew?
[grunting]
Blade, come on, look around.
Is anyone gonna believe my dad's a pirate?
[laughs] This'll be an open-and-shut case.
Uh, I-I mean, it seems pretty clear
your father knew this woman.
[squawks]
[scoffs] She probably
raided his town or something.
[Po] He stood up against her
in a moment of bravery and she's mad.
If anything, he's the hero of this story.
The judge'll clear everything up.
All rise
for the honorable Judge
Forouzan!
What?
She's the judge?
Rules are rules.
Huh?
Ping, the Soul Reaper,
you are accused of
breaking Pirate's Code 1647.
"Rules are rules"? Legal trials?
[groans] I would have raided this place
40 years ago
if I knew they were
uptight hall monitors like
- What are you doing here?
- [gasping]
- Ooh, uh
- [grunting]
- [groaning]
- [jeering]
[grunting]
Don't you ever die?
I was sent on a mission
to arrest Luthera of Landreth,
so that's what I'll do.
[scoffs] Good luck getting her
away from these hall monitors.
I spent a lot of time with Forouzan,
and I know what the pirates value most.
The Pirate's Code.
It's our only ticket off this island.
Well, it's not like they're gonna have it
all written down somewhere for anyone to
[sighs] This place
just keeps getting worse.
In the case of the Soul Reaper
There is the matter of
council for the defendant,
as per the Pirate's Code 637.
Yes, yes. Would anyone here
wish to act as council on behalf of the
[Po] Me.
I'll defend my father.
Come on. Come, help me.
- What?
- You said you were a part of court.
Court like the Royal Court,
not a legal trial.
Whatever. You're super fancy.
People will take you seriously.
[sighs] Fine.
Just relax, Dad. I'm gonna clear this up
and get us outta here.
[chuckles nervously] Uh, Po, there are
some things I've been meaning to tell you.
The defense's opening argument, please.
[snorts, hisses]
Uh, hey. So [chuckles]
Look everyone, you got the wrong guy.
[Po] My dad is a humble noodle shop owner.
- There's no way he's a pirate
- Show him the tattoo.
[whimpers]
[dramatic music plays]
Huh?
[emotional music plays]
[gasps]
[snorting, hissing]
Pirate's Code 122.
Pirates must be branded
with the Mark of the Pirate.
What?
[Po] Dad. You said
you've never met these people.
You said that.
[emotional music plays]
[clears throat]
Members of the Pirate Court.
She's so fancy.
- Her accent commands respect.
- [grunting]
[grunts encouragingly]
You know
that piracy does not equate to evil.
[murmuring in agreement]
This man adopted an orphaned panda
and supported him his entire life.
It's true. I still live with him.
By choice.
[Blade] He feeds the community,
even when they are unable to pay.
[Po] We're in crippling debt.
He is honest, hardworking,
and a decent person.
And whatever he did to your Pirate Queen,
I am certain
he's more than made up for it.
- [pirate 3] Boo!
- [gasps]
- He stole my glass eye!
- [clamoring]
He set my ship on fire!
He set my eye on fire!
[pirate 4] Who does that? And how?
- [pirate 5] The Reaper does!
- [pirate 6] He's the Reaper.
[pirate 7] The Reaper is guilty!
[groans]
You gotta be kidding me.
How are we supposed to find
the Pirate's Code among all this
Pirate's Code volume one,
volume two, three, four
This whole place is the code?
Oh, well, uh, th-there's also
a small YA section over there.
I mean, uh, boring, am I right?
[groans]
[chanting] Reaper! Reaper!
Dad, why didn't you say anything?
He stole food off my plate.
[pirates boo]
I tried, but you kept cutting me off.
He wouldn't shower for days. [retches]
Not a crime, but
very inconsiderate.
[pirates boo]
Thank you for sharing
your memories of the Soul Reaper,
but he is here
to answer for a specific crime.
Let me take you back 30 years ago.
[Forouzan] We were
the most fearsome duo of the seven seas.
Me as captain,
and the Reaper as my first mate.
We were unstoppable,
pillaging and plundering
as we raided town after town.
No one could defeat us.
Not even the Knights of England
could catch us.
But something went terribly wrong.
One night, our fleet was steered
straight into the English ships.
I barely escaped with my life.
But the Reaper was nowhere to be found.
After the battle, one of the crewmen
told me he saw Ping go overboard.
Lost to the sea.
Not only did I lose my first mate,
but also
my first love.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait. You two were
Engaged.
She was almost my mom?
That's not really how that works.
It was years
before I realized you were the one
who steered our ship
into that fight, on purpose.
You abandoned me for this.
[yelling, booing]
[grunting]
Does the defense have any last words?
[pirate 8] Traitor!
- [pirate 9] Backstabber.
- [pirate 10] Boo!
I-I think the thing I'm mostly guilty of
is letting down my son. [sobs]
Oh, I'm sorry, Po.
[emotional music plays]
[sighs]
[Forouzan] Nah.
You're most guilty of the treason.
The court finds Ping, the Soul Reaper,
guilty on all charges.
Guilty! Guilty!
The penalty is death.
[deep groaning]
[muttering]
[exclaims curiously]
[clucks]
[grunts, crows]
[straining]
Oi! You two!
Take this to storage, too.
[snoring]
- [Akna grunts]
- [gasps]
- [groans] These books are useless.
- Keep reading.
They've got a lot of cool stuff here.
Really intricate legal work.
Can't we just threaten someone,
or kidnap someone
and trade them in for our friends?
- We'd be dead before
- Before you leave this library.
Um, we're pirates too, okay?
[yelling]
Ow. Hey!
- [grunting]
- Quit that.
[exclaiming]
I see you! [yells]
- Aha!
- [wails]
[chuckles]
- [squawks]
- [pants]
[squawking]
[yells]
[clucks softly]
[sighs]
Okay. Not all books are useless.
You found it.
What?
[dramatic music plays]
[clamoring]
[yelling, booing]
Whoa!
This explains why
my dad is so good with a knife.
When you think about it, a chef is just
one step away from international outlaw.
We all have secrets, Po.
I'm sure there's more to it,
but you'll only find out if he survives.
[squawks, exclaims]
[dramatic music plays]
[grunts]
Soul Reaper, you've been charged
with treason, arson, theft,
and not bathing
for an uncomfortably long period of time.
Maybe I can pay it off by doing
some chores around the island? [squawks]
No mercy.
- [Mr. Ping] Po?
- That's what you'll be getting.
Po?
- I hereby sentence you to
- [yelling]
[stirring music plays]
I knew you would come for me, son.
I will have my justice.
[grunts]
[straining]
[squawks]
- [straining]
- [joints cracking]
Oh! [chuckles] That was a good one.
Phew!
Stand still, will you?
- [Mr. Ping squawks]
- [gasping]
Let's get off this rock,
and forget any of this ever happened.
Forget that you lied to me?
I don't even know who you are anymore,
and that means I don't know who I am.
Blade, are you who I think you am?
Let's do this later, Po.
[groans] I'll do it myself.
[exclaims]
[Rukhmini] Hold it! [laughs]
Pirate's Code number 32457.
Any pirate convicted of
crimes against another pirate
may seek an alternate form of trial
to clear their name.
Oh no! Not 32457! [whimpers]
Did you read the fine print?
[exclaims] Always read the fine print.
You just invoked
the Tournament of Certain Doom.
Fine, then. What are the rules?
The rules are
[dramatic music plays]
There are no rules.
[cheering]
[gasping]
Oh, of course.
[groans] I hate this place.
[rhythmic music plays]