Leverage: Redemption (2021) s03e01 Episode Script

[SOPHIE] I remember running my first job.
It was challenging.
But the only way to know
if you're ready is to do it.
I think Emma really pulled off
her elevator pitch.
- Oh. Oh. [SCREAMS]
- It'll be fun.
Yeah, she just needed a little shove.
In our line of work,
we don't get recognition for what we do.
[GRUNTING]
We have the satisfaction of knowing
that we made a difference.
[GRUNTING]
Oh, hey. High five.
We don't need date nights to be together.
We don't even need to be
on the same planet.
We are Parker and Hardison.
I really do respect the fact
that you're knowledgeable and wizened.
- Did you just call me old?
- Yes!
I am taking the job at the firm.
I am not a criminal.
Yes, you are.
You're part of the team, Harry.
[SIGHS] Part of the team.
[GRUNTING]
[SOPHIE] What is a con?
It's a set of artificial circumstances
designed to elicit an intended response.
This is gonna be a cool shot.
Hello, Mum.
- You know what I got?
- What's that?
- [GRUNTS]
- Ooh!
You mess with one of us,
you mess with all of us.
Keep in touch this time.
And not from afar.
[HARDISON] Okay,
people. Comms are linked.
Go.
We should've done more prep for this job.
Gustav Ekimov, Russian money launderer,
uses art to finance terrorism.
So, we steal his art. Easy-peasy.
We've done this a million times.
We've discussed easy-peasy.
[CHUCKLES, SPEAKING FRENCH]
[HARDISON] Um, sorry.
Pardon me, pardon me.
[SPEAKING FRENCH] Devine Collection.
[SOPHIE SPEAKING FRENCH]
[CHUCKLES, SPEAKING FRENCH]
We were in London for two whole weeks,
and we didn't steal anything.
This is one little golden statue.
We promised Sophie no criming
while she's visiting Astrid in London.
No criming for Astrid the Interpol agent?
[SCOFFS] How did that go?
[SPEAKS FRENCH]
She's reconciling with her stepdaughter
after a few decades.
I'm doing the same thing with my dad.
It just It ain't easy.
- Go.
- I mean, the This is on me.
[STAMMERS] I just wanted to get Astrid
a meaningful gift.
But of course all my meaningful gifts
are stolen items. So, I should
[SPEAKING GERMAN]
[SPEAKS GERMAN]
This vent.
[HARDISON] All right. [GRUNTS]
- [PARKER] Bonjour, Monsieur Vent.
- [GRUNTS]
- Oof, even these smell like cheese.
- [GROANS]
Sophie, there's no way you could've known
she would've recognized
a ring you'd stolen from 20 years ago.
It's 20 years. You're
making good choices.
[GRUNTING, GROANING]
[PANTING] Speaking of choices
[GRUNTS]
You told Parker about your choice yet?
[HARDISON] Didn't I tell you stay out
of grown folk business?
Did Didn't I tell you?
[SHUSHES]
All right, babe. The sound detection
and pressure pad's off.
[SIGHS] Don't trigger the floor alarms.
What's Eliot talking about?
[STAMMERING]
[STAMMERS]
The whole thing with, uh, Breanna.
Yeah, 'cause she hasn't decided
on college yet,
she's just visiting a few campuses
with Harry and his daughter.
Hey, what would you get someone
for their birthday,
you know, who works at Interpol?
- Not something stolen.
- Well, I know that now.
- Fascinating.
- [GASPS] No.
- Do not. Don't you dare.
- No, it's just
You know, you're in another
complicated emotional relationship
with someone
who's on the other side of the law.
[BREATHES HEAVILY] That is so
[PANTS] He means Nate.
Nate and Astrid are the same.
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh!
[SIGHS] Maybe this is just
too much change all at once.
I thought we were done changing.
I'm done changing.
About that
Hey, guys. Just a quick question.
- This Russian money launderer
- Gustav Ekimov?
- Yeah, we stole his owl right?
- Yep.
The owl Sophie's holding right now?
[IN RUSSIAN] No, you have to see it,
it came from a museum in Ukraine
Some guys who work for me, they got it.
- [SPEAKS RUSSIAN]
- [GRUNTS] Go, go, go!
- [PANTING]
Get the door!
- Where's the food truck?
- [SCOFFS] The Paris team has it
because, again, this was supposed to be
a quick little weekend heist.
- We gotta find a way out of Paris, now.
- Working on it.
[GUNSHOT]
[GROANS]
Why are auction house guards
engaging in a high-speed chase?
'Cause these guys don't work
for Sommersby's, all right?
Gustav's got private
military guys there too.
Which we would've known
if we had more time to prep.
Weekend in Paris!
[SIGHS] No rush, Hardison,
but even the French police
will eventually catch on to a car chase.
I'm looking for a blind spot
in the CCTV cameras
so we can dump the van and disappear.
Yeah, well we gotta lose these guys
first, and this van's not fast enough.
[GUNSHOTS]
[PEDESTRIAN SCREAMING]
This is Limagne Valley flour, man.
This is Limagne Valley flour,
what a waste!
All right. [PANTING]
Drop me off. This won't take long.
- Oh!
- [GRUNTS]
[GROANS]
[GRUNTING]
[GRUNTING]
[GRUNTING]
[GROANS]
[GRUNTS]
[HARDISON] There's my special guy.
How was your first day of school?
Did you make any friends?
- Proud of you. Up top.
- [GROANS]
[SOPHIE] In a state house
on the outskirts of Paris?
It's a good crowd to get lost in.
You got to be all up on me
- with that nastiness?
- Why don't you shut up?
- It's nasty.
- How bad is it?
[PANTING] I got tagged by a knife.
It's not serious,
but I'ma keep bleeding
till I get stitches.
I'ma be half speed for a bit.
Well, they're not checking IDs.
But waitstaff, they're all in these.
So, Hardison and I, we're good.
Whoever's in there, I picked up a
listing for International Trade Summit.
They killed all the CCTV cameras
in a mile radius.
That's a pretty common thing to do
for big corporations
so EU regulators can't track
who they're lobbying.
We're looking at a private party
of politicians in suits.
- This is very low risk.
- We gotta get off the streets
- and away from the police, but
- We wait too much longer
and Gustav's gonna track our route
using traffic cams.
He's gonna locate this van
And by then he's got our photos
from the auction house security.
Hello. That's a historical building.
The entrance to the Paris catacombs
is in the back garden.
Catacombs? [INHALES SHARPLY]
Ooh. Spooky bones.
So, good. Parker, Hardison, waitstaff.
Eliot, with me. We lay low.
We avoid the police and Gustav.
We mingle.
We find the entrance to those catacombs,
and we use them to get away.
Yep.
I think I'm a little
underdressed for this.
I've already spotted several
casually dressed private security,
so you're fine.
Anyway, the owner of this house
is American, so he won't mind.
- What makes you think he's American?
- [SCOFFS] Howdy.
I'm gonna need a fresh ID.
Something simple, London banker.
Oh, but give me a Russian connect
so I can play both stories.
- [BLOWS]
- Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Uh [CLEARS THROAT] copy that.
Pulling up
one of your pre-built IDs right
What's this one?
"Violet Cesario"?
[CHUCKLING, STAMMERS]
I don't I don't know.
They're your IDs.
Uh [CHUCKLES]
No, it's not. I did not build this one.
Neither did Breanna.
You built this one.
All right, well, just pick one
and do it now.
Something's off here.
There're entirely too many guys here
with guns than there should be.
Ex-Spetsnaz, mercs,
two Chinese security agents.
What did you walk us into?
Let me go! You're killing my town!
Every farm is dead!
Isabelle, I appreciate you coming
all the way from the US to yell at me,
but this is a private party.
Yeah, party of vultures.
You stole our water,
and now they're selling it back to us?
At a very fair price I might add.
Scuse me, everybody. Just
doing a little customer service here.
Why don't you take Miss Dulotte
to the vault,
- and we'll talk after the party?
- No.
[GUESTS LAUGHING]
This is not a normal crowd.
Normal crowds do not laugh at,
"Take her to the vault."
We're gonna need an ID.
Hardison, American accent,
Isabelle Dulotte.
Something about, uh, her town.
I'll find the vault.
I got her, straight off social.
She's from Neddleton, Mississippi.
Harry! He's driving back from Chicago.
Hardison, connect me.
Hey, Sophie! You should see the campus.
Girls are gonna go look at
a couple more that Becky likes.
Great.
Um, Harry, how far
are you from Neddleton?
Uh, I just passed it about two exits ago.
Hey, let me ask you.
What would you say if I grew a beard?
Well, that would be unfortunate.
Now, please turn around.
There's a very unpleasant man here
who deserves our attention.
He's connected to something bad
happening in that town.
- Hardison will send you the details.
- Okay.
Thought you were having
a weekend in Paris.
Yeah, we are.
We just have to figure out
what's going on at a secret meeting
without blowing our covers
and rescue a young woman from a vault
all before a murderous
Russian gangster tries to shoot us.
So, ticktock.
Unfortunate?
I like it.
How are you doing it?
Well, I'm still bleeding,
my arm's going a little bit numb,
but I ain't dead yet.
No, I said, "How are you doing it?"
Reconciling with your dad?
Oh [CHUCKLES]
I'm sorry. I was focused on
all the hired killers in the room.
Man, this is a weird party, Sophie, okay?
There's a lot of professional muscle
in here, and it's a mix.
Some private, some straight bad guys.
Government types.
I know.
I just made small talk
with the Japanese Agricultural Minister,
and then an Albanian gangster
talked my ear off
about black market Polish relics.
This is a baffling party.
It's time to talk to the host.
That's the exact opposite of laying low.
I'm just pointing that out.
Parker, Hardison?
Any luck with the vault
before I beard the lion?
Yeah, we got it.
But there's a yeti-sized dude
parked out front.
Not sure we can afford the noise
of taking him down now
till we know what's going on.
You said the Paris catacombs
run under the building?
Oh, yes. The claustrophobic tunnels
filled with thousands of skulls
and dust from generations
of dead people are right below us.
Oh, tick tacks, that doesn't help us.
Hmm.
- No.
- Hmm?
- No.
- Yeah.
N [SIGHS] Fine.
But, you know what kind of concrete
those old buildings used?
Limestone.
Mmm, chop suey.
We gotta stop at the kitchen.
Be good.
How y'all doin'?
I don't think we've met yet.
- Arizona Mike.
- Victoria Chernenkov
of the Kurchatov Investment Group.
And this is my security
He's also American.
Oh, well, always glad to meet
- a fellow American.
- [ELIOT] Hey.
I'll make sure you get some hot sauce
on the way out.
Arizona Mike
Arizona Mike's Hot Wings?
There you go! [LAUGHS]
Now see, this man has taste.
Not like these freaks
that put mayo on their french fries.
Ugh. That's monstrous.
Yeah, I got a hundred wings location.
Ten states, five countries.
I started out by supplying
my own chickens.
And it turns out, those things take
a crazy amount of water.
So, once I got into that game
Well, here we are.
Is this your first auction?
Auction?
Yes. [CHUCKLES]
This is my very first auction.
How perceptive.
And Chernenkov, that makes you Russian?
Mmm, practically.
I did my master's in Moscow,
and now I manage the Kurchatov family's
interests in the US and Europe.
So a Russian firm would put you
in the uranium business?
Again, amazing.
And you sell
Water, of course. I'm the water guy!
You remember that dealio out westward,
we said "Oh! We're in a drought"?
Well I negotiated millions of gallons
of water to be shipped
to farms owned by a cartel
of Middle Eastern countries.
I even shipped some of that stuff out
on tankers. Old-school.
That was you.
Hell, yeah, that was me.
And of course, you know,
government put a stop to that.
But that's why I straight envy
you Russians.
Because there's no government
to speak of in Russia,
- it's just businessmen.
- Yeah.
But, you know, our businessmen,
they do tend to
blow up each other's planes
- [CHUCKLING]
- and push their competitors out
of windows, so there is that.
Yeah, well, we're not quite there
yet in the States, but we'll get there.
Just you wait.
Come on, let me show you around.
- Was he kidding?
- I don't know.
[SIGHS] Here.
[EXHALES SHARPLY, PANTS]
You were holding your breath
that whole time?
You know I got the allergies
in regular vents and tunnels.
Breathing in skull dust
has gotta make it worse.
[PARKER] Or it's like getting bit
by a radioactive spider
and ending up with
dead French people superpowers.
Oh. Right above us is that vault floor.
So, you wanna talk about
that Breanna thing?
Huh?
Uh. Yeah, yeah. Breanna, um.
You know, I-I-I-I can understand
why she maybe doesn't, you know,
wanna do certain things.
I mean, don't you
ever think there's I
don't know, you could do something else?
- Something, something different?
- All the time.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Like when I'm jumping off a building.
I think, "I could be jumping off
a crane. Off a dam.
Out of any combination
of high altitude fast-moving vehicles.
Maybe from one to another."
Yeah. That's, uh exactly what I meant.
Hmm.
So we don't have time to cut the stones,
but limestone mortar
is highly reactive to carbon.
So, force water through
a charcoal filter at high velocity,
it's gonna melt the mortar
between the stones.
[SIGHS] We stole a gold owl,
we were in a car chase and got shot at,
and now we're cutting
through a tunnel full of skulls
with magic water. [CHUCKLES]
How does this day get better?
I'll tell you ho
So, Mike, uh, everyone here, like me,
or like us, is selling
natural resources?
Well, uh, Hector
from the Moroccan government,
he's auctioning his country's phosphates.
And, uh, Jaime, he's from Brazil,
he's arranging the auction
of pre-salt oil fields.
Bulgaria is auctioning off
energy production,
very popular right now.
Germany and Guatemala both doing that.
But I am a water guy.
But there are a lot
of government officials here
and and you you did say
that government was an issue?
Most of these auctions
are "government" auctions
with a million different side deals
that you wouldn't necessarily want
the press or regulators looking at.
And as far as the money's coming in,
well, you know, somebody shows up
with $50 million in cash to invest
in the water business,
I ain't gonna ask
where that money came from.
But they're good partners.
With the occasional
bone saw party, but that's why
we do these get-togethers now.
Get all the real deals out of the way
so that most of the official business
is just an afterthought.
[SCOFFS]
[LIMESTONE CRACKING]
[SMACKS LIPS, SIGHS]
Empty. An empty vault.
Now why would they waste
a perfectly good vault?
[HARDISON] So the hostage isn't in there?
[PARKER] Oh, no. She's here.
I just meant nothing valuable.
Hi. I'm Parker. Hardison's down there.
- [HARDISON SNEEZES]
- He's busy getting French superpowers.
So, what's your deal
with New Mexico Fred?
I believe it's Colorado Bob.
Back in the US, he's
drilled our town dry.
He claims he hasn't,
but he was drilling one county over,
and we know he tapped our aquifer.
He's selling our water.
He even has the nerve
to sell it back to us in water trucks.
You're trying to stop him.
The government's fined him,
not enough to even notice.
And we're in litigation,
but by the time we win,
if we win, our town will be dead.
Water is life.
Water is pure profit.
That's what I realized.
And not just for food
production anymore.
You know that, uh,
crypto, Bitcoin thing?
- Oh, yes.
- Every transaction,
4,000 gallons of water,
enough to produce
two pounds of grade A beef.
Yeah, well, we created a money that eats.
[CHUCKLES] I never thought of it
that way before.
So, uh, y'all want to get in a bid,
I got a tanker full of fresh water
sitting in the Port of New Orleans.
Let me speak to my partners.
Better hurry.
[WINCES, STAMMERS]
Is it difficult to maintain
and-and to groom Hang on one sec.
- Sophie?
- Harry. What do you have?
Neddleton, Mississippi hasn't had
a drop of water for three years.
Somebody, and I'm guessing you know who,
has drilled sideways from their field
into the Neddleton Aquifer
and caused it to collapse.
And how solid is the evidence?
Well [SIGHS]
uh, there is a visible sinkhole.
You're not going to believe this.
There is a tanker ship full of water
in the Port of New Orleans.
Well, that fits.
You know, I think your
guy's been pumping
and shipping these
people's water overseas
and profiting every day that this case
slowly winds its way through the courts.
Did you say
Russian gangsters are after you?
You need to get to that port, Harry.
Maybe we can interfere
with the shipment.
Okay.
Parker. Hostage update?
No. No, I'm not going anywhere. Okay?
Arizona Mike, he keeps all his servers,
all his records,
in this villa, outside the US.
And I need to find evidence
that he's breaking the law.
I don't think he is.
I think the law just sucks.
Now get in the hole.
No.
Please.
[SOPHIE] Oh, no. It's all right.
If she's willing to stay, let her.
I've got the inkling of a plan.
And I don't want anyone to be alerted
if they come looking for her.
And what, pray tell, is this plan?
We're gonna rob that vault.
- [PARKER] This vault is empty.
- I know.
But if there's nothing
in the vault to heist,
we'll bring the heist to the vault.
We're working with limited tools here.
I mean, most of these people,
even the outright criminals are
working within the legal protection
uh, of their governments,
so we can't use that as a lever.
And don't forget
about the terrorists, huh?
Yeah, there's a few terrorists here, too.
They won't care about the bad publicity.
No. We need to blow up this auction
from the inside.
Make sure that he doesn't auction off
that tanker and at least give
Isabelle's people a fighting chance.
Sophie, this is an auction, right?
You're probably gonna have
lines of credits, deposits.
You're gonna have to have a buy-in
before you can even make a bid.
Well, Montana Pete. I get his computer,
I can see all those accounts,
but I probably can't steal anything.
I don't want you to take anything out.
I want you to put money in.
[GROWLING, BARKING]
[PANTING]
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I get it.
- Mmm. Mmm.
- It's just, I mean
- I see and I get it.
Yeah, I see why they selected
you. Yeah, yeah.
It's It's in the eyes.
Do you see the eyes? Yeah. Yeah.
Mmm. So full of eye stuff. So sensual.
Shouldn't you be downstairs?
Wow, downstair Yeah.
We're gonna go back downstairs.
Okay, after we deliver this to you,
so you can go upstairs. Okay?
- To the Red Room.
- To the Red Room.
- I don't know what
- You see the crowd downstairs, right?
They are very rich. Crazy rich. Right.
Rules don't apply to them rich.
You know they like to get their freak on.
- Their freak-freak. Eh? Yeah, yeah.
- Oh, so freaky. The Red Room.
You know what I'm talking about.
Eyes. Wide. Shut. [CHUCKLES]
- You know what I'm saying, freaky. Ku
- Like Kubrick's best film?
- That's not his best film What the
- No, it's top five. What
[SIGHS, STAMMERS]
Anyway, you got the vibe.
They saw you downstairs and they want you
to join them in the Red Room.
All right, so this is
what I need you to do.
I need you to put on your mask, all
right? And we're gonna Here we go.
All right, you're gonna go upstairs
to the main bedroom.
The orgy coordinator, Francisco, he's
gonna come down there and get you.
To the Red Room.
Mm-hmm. Go on. You go get it, slugger.
[SIGHS]
[BOTH] He nasty.
Feel like you're hiding
something from me.
[SIGHS] Look, I'm I'm sorry, babe.
It's just I I-I just
I don't wanna do this anymore.
You don't want to crime anymore?
You wanna go straight?
No, no, that ship has sailed.
But I mean, this, the running around,
the getting shot at, the skull tunnels.
Ooh.
- You want these bank documents?
- Yes.
And by the way,
there will be more shooting
because Sophie seems to have forgotten
that Gustav Ekimov is still
out there looking for us.
Yeah, but that's the fun stuff.
I mean, this is the fun stuff.
Yeah, it's only fun
because I do it with you
and Eliot and Sophie and Breanna
and Harry when he's around.
[TYPING]
Even jumping off buildings
isn't fun anymore?
Yeah, it's fun with you
because I love you,
and I love doing stuff with you.
Mmm.
Well, we could do more of your fun stuff.
Like, what kind of fun stuff
are you doing over here right now?
Well, right now,
I'm making $2.70 microtransactions
into the accounts of all the people
who have trusted Arizona Mike
to hold their funds.
- [EXCLAIMS]
- Okay Okay. Okay. Okay.
- [EXCLAIMS]
- Go steal something.
I mean, what can I tell them?
It's just not my problem.
- [LAUGHS]
- [LAUGHS] See ya.
So, we wanna bid
and offer physical assets for collateral.
Now, this is special.
It's a 14th century
[STAMMERS] Okay, but we don't do that.
Everybody just linked a holding account
to my main account for their guarantee.
You must've done that already.
No. [STAMMERS] Russians have
been sanctioned. All our bank accounts.
We don't risk putting anything online.
It can all be seized.
- Oh, I get that. I guess, but
- [STAMMERS] Hold up.
You're making bank transfers the
size necessary for these deals online?
With a legitimate bank?
- It's gotta hold up in court.
- We gotta go now.
[STAMMERS] That was a close shave.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait
[STAMMERS] hang on. What's going on?
Listen to me, American to American,
I guarantee you, Interpol,
all the tax agencies,
they're piggybacking
on your legit accounts
so they can find off-book accounts
for everybody here.
And they're gonna seize 'em,
covering every bank in Europe.
Nobody's missing any funds.
They would've said something.
No, not taking. They deposit.
That's how they test they have
the accurate account details
Micro-deposits.
A bank goes on alert
when you make a withdrawal,
but they accept deposits automatically.
You don't trust me, go ask 'em.
Everybody, uh
[STAMMERS] quick word.
We have a possible security issue.
Uh, if you could all
just contact your institutions
and check if there's been
any unusual account activity,
specifically small deposits.
Hey, look, man,
it's better to find out now, huh?
Before they seize everybody's accounts.
'Cause some of these guys,
they don't look too forgiving.
It takes eight months
to put these meetings together.
I mean, there's gotta
be a way to do business.
Too risky for us.
I'm gonna take my little owl and go.
Wait, wait, wait, hang on.
You can't be the only one.
I don't follow.
I got millions in artwork on my walls.
I've got gemstones.
Everybody else will too, right?
Well, this crowd? In Paris? Sure.
I mean, all the crooks
are gonna have valuables,
even the legit ones are gonna
have hard assets, but
Hey Hey, uh, folks. Everybody, um
listen [SIGHS] we all worked for
months to put together these deals,
and nobody wants
to lose these opportunities.
So the thing is, is that everybody
has to have skin in the game.
So I have a proposal.
Okay, I'm at the port. I only had to
drive 90 miles an hour to get here.
How am I supposed to get in?
I can't exactly hack the tanker's
details from outside.
That's Breanna's job.
Harry, come on, you've been with us
for three years now.
I have faith that you've become enough
of a con man to get into a port.
[LAUGHS] Wh Uh Um
Uh-huh-huh. Yes. Yes, I've got this.
Right down this way, guys.
Head on down that hall. Very, very nice.
We're going down to the basement.
[ELIOT] Well, that was
a hell of a gamble, huh?
You just assuming that all these
criminals had hard assets in Paris?
It wasn't a gamble.
You know violence, I know rich people.
Rich people, they love to show off
all their pretty little things,
even when they know they shouldn't.
And they would never
pass up the chance to
think they're outwitting
the authorities.
You know, the little people
who maintain all the rules.
I never thought I'd ever say this, but I
think that may be
too much stuff to steal.
Is stealing still fun?
Tell me stealing's still fun.
Oh, it's very fun.
But Parker has a point. It's a lot of
cookies down there in that jar.
I made a note of who brought what.
Look. Go down there
and clear out these items.
They belong to the richest,
most vengeful people here.
And if they lose trust in the host,
then the whole auction falls apart.
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
Oh, it's Harry. I'm putting him through.
Harry, did you get the information
on the tanker?
Yes, and you're not gonna like it.
[GRUNTS] Oh. I'm missing the cake!
[GRUNTS, INHALES DEEPLY]
Hey, your tanker's supposed
to be auctioned off, right?
Well, it already has a destination set.
King Abdul Aziz Port.
Oh. Go eat cake.
So, Arizona Mike
already cut a side deal with the Saudis.
So even if we disrupt this auction,
he's still gonna keep pumping Isabelle's
town dry and shipping out their water.
We need to do more
than just screw up tonight's event.
We need to disrupt
his entire business model. Right now.
I think we got bigger problems than that.
[GUSTAV SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
Oh, you are, how
you say, uh, a vor.
A thief. But maybe you are.
Sir [CHUCKLES] you were
not invited to this party.
These are my invitation. Da!
[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
I'm pretty sure I punched
one of those guys.
Forget about stealing anything.
Go down there and get Isabelle out.
No time to circle back
through the catacombs.
No. Go through the front.
Take Eliot with you.
[GASPS]
[WHISPERS, INDISTINCT]
What are you doing?
[SIGHS] The one thing nobody
who's chasing you expects you to do.
I'm gonna go say hi.
We're just trying to do business here.
I'm sure we can work something out.
- Mmm.
- Who is this man?
Who are you?
[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
[IN RUSSIAN] Yes.
Good, you can translate?
Of course Mr. Ekimov, yes?
[IN RUSSIAN] Do I know you?
I was at the auction house
earlier, but I had to leave.
Yes, yes, for this I am here!
Men stole from me, valuable art.
outside this house.
[IN RUSSIAN] So they work for you?
No, there are no thieves at my hou
No, my security is impeccable.
There are no thieves.
Does he know what they look like?
[IN RUSSIAN] You
know what they look like?
Yes, soon.
We got security footage,
they'll send it soon.
They tell me, it's a good photo
of woman with dark hair.
Well, that's excellent news.
[GRUNTS] I've lost a lot of blood, okay?
My left arm doesn't work.
Uh. [STAMMERS] Man.
[PARKER] Ooh, I know what our problem is.
Eliot has to fight the Mountain?
No, you're not having fun doing my stuff
or your stuff.
- You gotta try Eliot's stuff.
- [BREATHES HEAVILY] What?
[GASPS] You fight
him, I'll pick the lock.
He can't He's not
gonna be able to beat
- You're already hurt anyway.
- [GRUNTS] I
- Let's go!
- [CLICKS TONGUE]
[INHALES DEEPLY, GROANS]
Parker. Parker!
You got any advice?
- I told you to be clear with her, man.
- [BREATHES HEAVILY]
You know we handle our emotional stuff
before we get into a job.
No, I meant
[GRUNTS, PANTING, GROANS]
[GRUNTS, GROANS]
No, I mean for him.
- Oh. He's gonna whoop your ass.
- [GROANS]
I don't know what he's talking about.
There are no thieves working here
or hiding here.
[SPEAKS RUSSIAN]
their vehicle is parked outside.
Maybe if they're stealing from
Mr. Ekimov, then
they're targeting you too.
I mean, you do have fine art
and antiquities?
No.
No. I mean, not until maybe
about an hour ago,
but it's not even my anti
It's their antiquities.
It's my antiquities.
Left guard Your left guard!
- [GRUNTING]
- [ELIOT] Slip!
[PANTS] I got him!
- You-You better duck.
- What? [GRUNTS]
Don't do the [STAMMERS]
[GRUNTING, PANTING]
This whole time, I'm out here
getting my ass beat.
[ELIOT] Let's go.
[HARDISON PANTING, SNIFFS]
[GRUNTING]
- [ELIOT] Nope.
- [GRUNTING]
[SIGHS]
Time to go.
[YELLS] Damn it, Hardison! Did you
really try the Vulcan Spock thing again?
- It's gonna work one of these days.
- [CHUCKLES]
[SIGHS] No.
[LOCK CLICKS]
Ah, good. Pictures of thief.
It's woman with dark hair.
[SOPHIE] Hey! Look at this.
Thieves did try to get in here.
What? Now, hold on.
Nobody knew there'd be anything in here.
Who breaks in to an empty vault?
Oh. Well, I can tell you right now, this
painting alone is
worth over $12 million.
Huh. Yes. Thieves come to your house
and is hole in tunnel.
But no, is a big, uh, sovpadeniye.
"Coincidence."
- [STAMMERS] Again
- Coincidence.
There was nothing in here worth stealing.
Not until you asked people to bring items
of value. Demanded it.
No, there was only
Oh, where's the girl?
Ah, girl. This girl?
Hmm?
All right. Gustav's phone's in range.
I'm sending him security footage.
I thought you wiped that.
I did, but I kept a copy
for just this reason.
All right, well,
you're slowing us down, man.
Hey, you try to hack and edit a photo
at the same time in a damn sewer.
It's a crypt.
Not helping.
Oh. You took us for fools.
That-That whole song and dance.
Yelling at the girl so
we wouldn't suspect
anything if we saw her in the vault.
We wouldn't question it.
All right, it does appear
to be the same girl,
but there's no evidence
that she stole anything.
[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
Ooh, ooh.
That is mine. Stolen.
You did know. Thief.
[STAMMERS] Maybe they left it behind.
Oh, da. Y-Y-Yes, thieves,
they leave behind all the time.
W-W-W-Wait. That's yours?
That woman tried to use it earlier.
Yeah! Yeah, it was
Oh.
- [SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
- [INHALES SHARPLY]
[STAMMERS, SIGHS]
[CELL PHONE BEEPS]
Hi, Astrid. It's me.
Look, I, um, I just wanted to apologize
again and offer you a makeup gift.
Right now, on a road
on the outskirts of Paris,
there is a convoy of cars
carrying undeclared assets,
stolen art and physical evidence
of corruption involving dozens
of government employees.
Hardison's gonna send you a pin.
So, there you go.
[GRUNTS]
Happy birthday, darling.
[HARRY] He's looking
at multiple lawsuits,
multiple securities and commodities
fraud in [CLEARS THROAT]
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no.
I feel you, Bre. For real.
That's some cool tech.
Yeah, you know, Parker and me,
we actually, um, we-we pulled a job
at a university once.
There was a bomb. We jumped on a train.
[STAMMERS] We gonna skip that.
[STAMMERS] Skip. Love you.
Um, no, no, no. I'm gonna stay in
New Orleans till you get back.
Yeah. No, I ain't going nowhere.
Yeah, as I was saying,
uh, so many lawsuits.
Multiple securities
and commodities fraud investigations.
About half the guests got arrested
with all sorts of undeclared
and illegal items on them.
Sophie, wanna tell them about the, uh
[GASPS] Astrid got a commendation.
- Hey!
- [CHUCKLES] From Sterling!
- Ugh.
- Seriously?
[HARRY INHALES SHARPLY] Uh, also,
Arizona Mike's Paris estate mysteriously
caught fire soon after your visit.
Oh, Gustav. Bit of a drinker.
With anger issues.
Yeah, the arson wasn't very well hidden,
so they can add, uh, insurance
fraud to Arizona
Mike's list of troubles.
In fact, his businesses are
in such turmoil
that with the help of a corporate lawyer,
Isabelle and her neighbors
were able to freeze
all of his activities near Neddleton,
and those folks are well on their way
to getting their lives back.
Damage was done though. [SIGHS] I think
we got into this one a little too late.
Which is my point. I wanna fix things.
Not just stop things.
I want to fix things.
You know, solve problems like this.
But, like, solve their problems
for the long term.
I mean, this life,
moving from con to con, case to case.
[STAMMERS] I could never do that.
But you have your refugee work
and your charity work.
Yeah, crisis after crisis after
A-And I'm not quitting that.
And I'm not quitting us.
Look, we stop bad guys nobody stops.
That's why we do this.
I just need to figure out
how I can keep doing this.
I'm taking six months.
That's it. Just like Sophie did.
You know, when we started this,
all I wanted was to prove
that I was the absolute best.
And that version of me [STAMMERS]
I mean, as brilliant and
[SIGHS] sexy and talented
and funny and amazing as he was
[ELIOT] Yeah, all right. All right.
I gotta move on from him.
Like Violet Cesario.
- Ooh, you figured it out.
- [HARDISON CHUCKLES]
Figured out what?
What did he figure out? Whose ID is that?
Okay. It's my dating profile.
- [HARRY] What? [LAUGHS]
- [PARKER LAUGHS] Ooh!
- [ELIOT] Oh.
- [SOPHIE] Thank you.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Oh, wow.
Well, look, it's been three
years, and I think it's
Time to move on.
[HARRY] Oh, this is great. This is great.
You know, I'm dating again.
Becky's out of the house.
It's empty nest time, so I'm on the apps.
We could be app buddies.
- Ooh, that's a wonderful idea.
- Mmm.
I'd rather die.
Oh, come on.
Eliot can give us some dating tips.
We could double-date in his car
'cause it's so cool.
- What? No. No, no. No.
- Hey, Sophie, come on.
Give some
Give me some tips on my profile.
I don't want any part of that.
You know she's gonna need your help
on this one.
Ah, we'll both be here for her.
[STAMMERS, SIGHS]
Hey, how you doing?
[INHALES DEEPLY] Part of the job.
Hey. You know, maybe
Maybe one of the reasons I wanna get
out of the field is, uh,
I don't like watching someone
I care about take punches meant for me.
You know, maybe I don't wanna do a job
that involves me watching you
get hurt all the time.
[INHALES SHARPLY] You know
[INHALES SHARPLY] I think that
Vulcan pinch thing you did
actually worked this time.
Oh, I felt him flinch.
- You did? Hmm. Did he?
- He flinched. Yeah.
- My guy.
- [WINCES] Ow. Damn it.
Oh, yeah, my Just walk that off.
You got that. I believe in you.
[SIGHS] Hey. So, it's all good.
I mean, people are sharing sexy times,
you know?
[CHUCKLES] Sorry I'm gonna miss it.
You all right?
It's a feelings thing. I hate those.
I know.
[SIGHS]
Everybody changed.
I thought we were done changing.
Well, you know, sweetie
I think people change at their own rate.
And in their own direction.
Is Breanna going to college?
She hasn't decided.
But look, uh, yeah, Sophie and dating,
Breanna and school, Eliot and his dad.
Uh, Harry and whatever weird stuff
he's always got happening.
- I [LAUGHS]
- [SIGHS]
There's gonna be a lot of work going
on this year. Not just me.
Okay. Well, six months.
Yeah.
I could think about that too.
Even though it makes my skull so itchy.
[INHALES SHARPLY] You know,
one thing that'll never change.
[CLICKS TONGUE, SIGHS] Pretzels.
They are perfect.
They are perfect.
[GRUNTS]
[CHUCKLES]
[CHUCKLES]
So, you, like You been working out?
Mmm. Lifted Eliot's truck a lot.
Mmm. The whole truck?
Mmm. With him in it.
That's sexy.
[SOPHIE] The ultimate con.
Fortune favors the beautiful
but it can also be cruel to the sincere.
Good people get fooled easier.
They're weak like that.
The last thing you wanna do around here
is piss off the mayor.
See, money ain't the point.
Money's just a way to get power.
[PERSON] Parker versus Astrid.
Two women you care deeply about,
unknowingly placed in the same game.
All right,
then we burn the whole place down.
[BREANNA] Edgar Ramirez.
Parker's trying
to expose this guy for child labor.
Cases with kids set me off a little.
A little?
Well, you all have your side jobs.
- [GRUNTS]
- [GROANS]
- [GRUNTS]
- [GRUNTS]
You wanna do this again?
Did you get those
robot parts I asked for?
The very illegal robot parts?
Like I said, the good ones.
[SOPHIE] Where did you learn to make
a proper cup of tea?
Learned a lot about British culture.
Some of it just yesterday.
You created a fake guy,
but the judge would only deal
with a real guy,
so you found a real guy to fool her?
Exactly.
That'll be my rescue.
[EXCLAIMS]
Parker. It's an '82. Mmm.
[DONOVAN] As much as I respect
a good hustle,
you two are in danger
of over-fishing my pond.
What is this place?
Help me. He's coming.
- Who-Who's coming? What happ [YELLS]
- [STRAINS]
This is gonna be fun.
"All hail the queen
of the con?" [LAUGHS]
Hey!
Diabolical!