Liv and Maddie (2013) s03e01 Episode Script

Lately, things have been pretty crazy for my sister, Maddie.
Her boyfriend, Diggie, told her that he was going to study abroad in Australia for a semester, and that did not go over very well.
Maddie, maybe we should break up.
Wow.
Joey: Boo, Diggie! But he realized something.
He had made a mistake.
What are you saying? I want to get back together with her.
Whoa.
Okay, but, Liv, do you think that she'd take me back? - Uh - Because if she will, I'm not gonna leave.
Okay, you know what? You just sit by the Paulie statue, and I will go get Maddie before you leave.
Joey: But I might have made it slightly impossible.
- Oh! - (Crashing) She managed to get out of the locker room.
But (Gasps) oh no, was it too late? Diggie, am I too late? Was Diggie waiting for her or had he already left for Australia? Aren't you just dying to find out? Oh, you are dying? Okay, well then let's get to it, friend! Diggie? (Sighs) (Theme music playing) Better in stereo B b better in stereo - I'm up with the sunshine - Let's go - I lace up my high tops - Oh no Slam dunk, ready or not Yeah, show me what you got - I'm under the spotlight - Holler I dare you, come on and follow You dance to your own beat I'll sing the melody When you say yea-ah-ah I say no-oh-oh When you say stop All I want to do is go go go You you, the other half of me me The half I'll never be-e The half that drives me crazy You you, the better half of me me The half I'll always need But we both know We're better in stereo Hey, um have you heard from Maddie? 'Cause she's not answering her phone.
How can you worry about Maddie when my favorite show Linda and Heather, just finished its season with an unresolved cliffhanger? Please come back! Without my favorite show, where am I gonna get my drama fix? I need my drama! (Door opens) Hey.
What happened with Diggie? He left.
Diggie left.
Maddie I'm so sorry.
(Sniffing) Do I smell drama? You know what? Maybe this one just wasn't meant to be.
Yeah.
I guess not.
I mean if the universe had wanted me and Diggie to be together, Joey never would have been born and he couldn't do stupid things! - Joey! - Maddie! Maddie, I was trying to call you.
Oh, that's so funny 'cause my phone is actually trapped inside a locker that you knocked over, so Okay, before you kick, bite, or punch me, please just hear me out.
Maddie, there's still a chance that you could see Diggie before he leaves for Australia.
Suddenly, I'm entertained.
Diggie flew to Los Angeles first where he has a really long layover.
What are you saying? I'm saying that he doesn't leave for Australia until tomorrow morning.
So if we hop on a plane right now, we can catch him in LA.
Ooh, exotic locations? This just keeps getting better! Hold on, why would you be going? 'Cause I didn't get to say goodbye to Diggie either, Maddie! Okay.
Maddie, you have to go.
Okay, but what about Mom and Dad? It's not like they're just gonna let me fly across the country.
Then you just don't tell them.
- Wha - I'm gonna cover for you.
You go.
Maddie, let's go.
Okay.
Okay.
Oh, um you don't seriously think you're gonna get through airport security dressed like that, do you? I'd rather take my chances with them than with you.
Morning, Liv.
(Laughs) Why are you eating popcorn for breakfast? Because I'm waiting to see how you explain to Mom and Dad that last night their kids flew across the country without permission.
Good or bad, it's gonna be great entertainment! That's gonna be easy.
I'm just gonna tell the 'rents that Maddie's upset about Diggie and wants to be alone all day in her room and only her twin sister is allowed in.
Boom! Handled.
Karen: Liv and Maddie, could you come in here? Here we go! Hey! - Oh.
- What's up, Mom? So, where is Maddie? I wanna know what happened with Diggie last night.
Oh.
Yeah, it's actually sad news.
- He did leave for Australia.
- (Gasps) She is gonna need her momma.
- Yes.
Well, she is upstairs - Not in her room.
- I checked.
- Oh.
Right.
No, not in her room.
Um, she is in the - The kitchen.
- The kitchen.
The kitchen? - The kitchen.
- Right.
Oh, yeah.
The kitchen.
(Nervous laugh) Although, I don't really know why my broken-hearted sister would be hiding away in the busiest room in the house.
Well, she's cleaning the fridge.
- She'll be at it all day.
- That's right.
All d All day? This is better than Linda and Heather.
The characters do my bidding and my chores! Well, I'll go check on her.
Okay Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Um, see, she still needs just so much space.
Oh.
She said she could really only handle seeing me, so Oh.
Does she need her kid brother, too? No.
You've done quite enough.
Well, I mean, what are we gonna do about breakfast? Oh, Liv will get that.
I gotta poop.
I didn't really have to go, but I had to get to the kitchen without Mom knowing.
No one questions poop, yo.
Did I miss anything? Did I miss anything? How am I supposed to keep Mom and Dad out of the kitchen all day? I don't know, but I can't wait for find out! Karen: Maddie, honey, it's your momma.
How are you? She's fine, Mom! Karen: No, no, no.
I need to hear it from her.
Um (Imitates Maddie) I'm fine, Mom! Thanks dude! (As herself) Oh, Maddie, Mom wants breakfast.
(As Maddie) Doesn't she know that I'm sad and I need to be alone? (As herself) She's just worried about you! (As Maddie) I know.
I just I need my space.
Karen: You take all the time and space you need.
Just know Momma loves you.
(Phone rings) Hey, Becky! What's up? Liv, strap yourself in.
The Bic has a career-making- slap-your-own-face-if-you-miss-this opportunity.
It's a superhero show called Voltage! Parker: Voltage? That's my favorite comic book.
It's about a high school girl who's struck by lightning.
Zap! Bam! And she gets the power of electricity to save the universe and her high school.
Hollywood wants you back, Liv.
Becky, that sounds really great.
But I do want to stay in Stevens Point with my family for senior year.
Okay, Liv.
It's killing me, but I respect your Midwestern, corn-fed values.
Bye-bye from the Bic.
You're gonna regret that.
But not as much as you'll regret cleaning out the crisper.
(Thudding) (Sighs) (Sloshing) Hey, sorry, excuse me.
Hi.
Hello.
Welcome to Hemispheric Air.
My name is Vince.
How can Vince help you? Um, so, Vince, I need to talk to a passenger on the flight to Australia.
Of course you do.
And Vince would love to make that happen.
Great.
Thank you so much, Vince.
Unfortunately, that flight left two hours ago.
What? Two hours ago? Are you not understanding me? Sometimes Vince isn't very clear.
Would it help if film icon Morgan Freeman explained it to you? (Gasps) (Imitates Morgan Freeman) She was a girl racing cross country, meeting the one man who could provide her with all the answers she needed.
Unfortunately she was as lost as those little penguins marching across the Arctic or Antarctic.
I'm never really sure which.
This is the greatest airport ever! I'm sorry.
I'm very confused.
It is 9:25 and Joey said that flight 725 is leaving at 10:38, so (Computer beeps) Actually, flight 1038 left at 7:25.
Would it cheer you up if funny-man Adam Sandier stopped by? - (Gasps) - No.
(Imitates Adam Sandier) How 'bout we put a little smile on that face, little lady? You know why? Because nobody wants to see you cry at the airport! (Laughs) Thank you, Vince.
You have been very helpful.
Unlike some people.
- So - Mm-hmm? There is no possibly way that we could have ever made it here before Diggie left? Uh no.
(Laughs) My bad.
Ha.
Whew.
Okay, Maddie Maddie! Maddie, I know you're hurting, so let Momma sing you something you used to love when you were little.
This old man, he played one He played a knick knack on my thumb With a Oh, Maddie, you feeling too sad to do the "knick knack paddywhacks"? You used to love the "paddywhacks.
" Come on, Maddie.
Whack those paddies.
(Imitates Maddie) With a knick knack paddywhack Give a dog a bone This old man - Came rolling home - Oh! Our little girl is gonna be okay.
Whew.
That was tense.
I might just get away with this.
Your performance is a tour de force! The greatest show not on TV.
But it needs an unexpected plot twist.
- (Doorbell rings) - Called it! Who's at the door? - (Running footsteps) - Wait for me, wait for me! (Gasps) Liv: Diggie? I thought you were on your way to Australia.
Say it.
Say it.
I came back for Maddie.
Yeah, he did! Greatest show ever! Maddie will be thrilled to see you.
She's been a wreck all day.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
You cannot go in there.
- Why not? - Why? Yeah, Liv, why? Because we have got a very fragile little girl in there.
I will take Diggie to Maddie to facilitate the healing.
Oh, you are a good sister.
Oh, well, you have no idea.
Well, today has been emotionally exhausting.
I'm gonna go take a nap.
(Fake yawns) Where's Maddie? (Imitates Maddie) Oh, yay! Diggie, I'm so happy to see you! I'm Maddie! (As herself) Oh, Mom and Dad, Maddie and Diggie are hugging! It's so sweet! Karen: Oh! I'm here! I'm here.
You can start.
What is going on? Maddie is in Los Angeles trying to catch you.
What? Wait, why didn't she come see me at school? I was waiting for her.
She tried really hard, but Joey messed it up.
Okay! See, so I knew it! - She wanted to see me.
- Yeah.
And now you and Maddie are Hey! Don't call that sentimental fool a dummy.
These crazy kids crossed the country for each other.
It's romantic.
Maddie, Maddie, Maddie, Maddie, Maddie, Maddie, Maddie, Maddie, Maddie, Maddie, Maddie, check it out.
I've gone native Angeleno.
So what you've been up to? I bought a ticket to Australia.
You what? I know it sounds crazy, but I have to see Diggie face-to-face and talk this out.
And you are not coming, 'cause I'm not gonna give you another chance to mess this up.
That's harsh, but wise.
Okay, can I see your phone? I need to tell Liv.
Yeah.
Thank you.
- (Phone rings) - Hello? Hey Liv, um, Diggie's not in LA, so I'm gonna go to Australia.
- Australia? - (Phones beep) - Liv? - (Phones beep) Maddie? - Ugh.
I think their phone died.
- Okay.
What did she say? She said she's going to Australia.
- No! - Yes! Could this day get any better? (Doorbell) If that's the National Guard taking us to a safe zone to protect us from the zombie apocalypse, I may just lose it! Karen: Becky Bicklehoff! What a surprise.
Becky? What is she doing here? I don't know what anyone is doing.
Becky, hi.
What are you doing here in Stevens Point and how did you get here so fast? My boyfriend has access to a Navy jet.
But forget about that.
Your awesome manager convinced the producers of Voltage to shoot the show in Wisconsin! - Really? - Yes.
They want me that badly? What'd I miss? What'd I miss? Your sister is going to sign this contract and Hollywood is coming to Stevens Point.
This is so exciting! We have to tell Maddie! Oh, no! No, Mom! No.
Where's Maddie? Um (Imitates Maddie) I'm in the pantry, Mom! (Imitates Maddie) Bam! What? Liv does it better than I do.
Liv.
Where.
Is.
Maddie? Now! Maddie.
Is sort of.
On her way.
To Australia.
Both: What? Hey, um, can we hit pause? This time, I really do have to run to the bathroom and I don't want to miss a second of this.
There are no flights.
I can't get to LA till tomorrow.
Well, I'm on hold with the airline, but we are gonna find Maddie and make sure that she does not leave the country.
And you, young lady, you are grounded for ten years.
I'm really sorry that I lied and pretended to be Maddie all day.
(Gasps) Well, this is just hitting me now.
You faked the "paddywhacks.
" I did.
I'm a big fat fakey-whack.
Oh So good time to discuss the amazing deal that Bic got for you! You know, honestly, I'm really flattered, but I think it would be very hard to do a TV show when I'm gonna be grounded for ten years.
Parker: No! You have to let her do it! She was born to act.
Did you see what she pulled off today? It was funny, it was sad, it was dramatic.
I binge-watched the entire day! Oh, Liv, honey, is something that you really want to do? It has been really exciting to be acting again.
Pete: Liv (Clears throat) You are still in huge trouble but we're on board.
Let's do a TV show in Stevens Point! Becky: Let's sign this contract and make it happen! - I'll get this back to LA.
- Okay.
Call you when I land, kid.
Okay.
Bye! Oh, Becky! I have one more favor to ask you.
Is this crazy for me to go running after Diggie to Australia like this? That's a tough one, Mads.
But if the City of Angels has taught me anything about life it's that when the universe wants you to move on, Maddie, it's gonna make you move on.
Yeah.
I guess I just feel like if it's this much work to get him to stay, then maybe he's meant to go.
That can't be easy to say.
Yeah.
I still just really wish that I had the chance to say goodbye.
Yo! Is that Robert Downey Jr.
? RDJ! RDJ! Thanks for the support! Maddie? Diggie? Hi! - Hi! - Hi! All right, I got you here.
Good luck.
RDJ! It's Becky B! Hi.
Maddie, you flew all the way to LA for me? Yeah.
Of course! I mean, I had to see you before you left.
But why are you here? I thought you were way on your way to Australia.
I had to see you.
Maddie, listen I won't go.
I will stay for you.
Yeah, I know you would.
But I really do think that you should go to Australia.
'Cause I mean, it's your dream and I don't want to be the one that keeps you from that.
What about us? I think we're saying goodbye for now.
For now.
(Laughs nervously) You know? But I mean, we're still such good friends.
Always.
And I guess I feel like whenever you get back if we're meant to be more than that the universe is gonna let us know that.
You're right.
It will.
I guess I'm going to Australia.
Yeah, I guess you are.
There's one more thing that I really wanna do before you leave.
Yeah, I think it's the same thing I wanna do before I leave.
(Laughs nervously) Diggie! Oh, hey, guys! Guess what, dude? I just met Robert Downey Jr.
! (Airport intercom beeps) Vince: (Imitates Morgan Freeman) This is Morgan Freeman, letting you know flight is now boarding at gate 12.
For the record, it's not actually Morgan Freeman, but the flight to Milwaukee is boarding none the less.
That's our flight home.
Oh, yeah? You're coming with me? Awesome.
Good.
I do not have a book, my phone is dead, and I want to talk about Robert Downey Jr.
The whole way home.
He is a great hugger.
Let me reenact it for you guys.
He was like, "Come here, Joseph," and he brought me in real close.
Yeah.
Ah, is there any better way to say goodbye? Well, bye, Diggie.
Bye, Joey.
- (Airport intercom beeps) - Vince: Call for flight 389 to Sydney.
Now boarding at gate 33.
Both: I'm that way.
(Melancholy music playing) (Laughs) Hey, Maddie! Hey, Joey! Welcome home! Oh, did I wake you, Mom and Dad? Sorry, but look who's home from an unauthorized trip across the country.
I'll just be over here by the popcorn.
Maddie, we need to talk.
I know, and before you guys say anything, let me just say that I am really, really, really, really sorry.
You're also really, really, really grounded.
Totally fair.
What I did was wrong.
What about me? What about you? - Am I grounded? - Why? You didn't do anything.
What? Really? I don't believe this! I am offended, I am hurt, and I am tired, and I am going to bed! Best TV show ever! Parker: No one questions poop, yo.