Lucifer (2016) s03e01 Episode Script
They're Back - Aren't They
1 - Previously on Lucifer - So, you are the Devil, and you've left Hell behind to take a vacation in Los Angeles.
Well, where else would I go? I got it.
I got it.
The name.
The whole Lucifer thing.
And desire's, like, your superpower.
Mm, it's more like a gift from God, really.
My God.
Your dad did that to you? No, that's where I cut my wings off.
LUCIFER: Mum's powers are returning, and it won't be long before we can't contain them.
I'm afraid that this ends now.
(YELLS) Bloody hell, it worked! - Who are you? - I should never have got you involved in any of this from the start.
I just realized something that I need to do.
Detective, I'm coming over now to tell you the truth about me.
Mm, mm The devil you know, the devil you know, the devil you don't 'Cause it's better to know The devil you know than the devil you don't 'Cause wherever you go, wherever you go With the devil you know you're never alone But it's better to know the devil you know Than the devil you don't, yeah, ay Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh - The devil you know - Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh (HORN HONKING) Are you blind? (METAL CREAKING) (GRUNTS LOUDLY) (LAUGHS QUIETLY) (EXHALES) The day I've had, I tell you.
Right.
I'd like a ride to Los Angeles, please.
I oh.
Dearie me.
At least I'm healing fast.
Do you have any aloe vera? I ain't going back to L.
A.
What Hold on, you're not a real armored truck driver, are you? Wait.
Don't I know you from somewhere? Oh, yes, yes.
You're that jewelry thief, the one who left in nothing but his manties.
You! You got me put in jail! Uh, well, I think that one's on you, sir.
I wasn't the one with the gun and the ski mask.
I'm not gonna let you screw this up for me again.
It's time for you to go.
(CHUCKLES) Well, you are a tenacious one, I'll give you that.
Respect.
You one crazy-ass bitch.
Now, get out of the truck.
- (GUN COCKS) - Now.
Look I know you don't want to shoot me, Mr.
What's your name? - Said out, bitch.
- Mr.
Said Out Bitch, tell me, what is it you really desire? I just want to get out of here, man.
Right, freedom, of course.
- (SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE) - That hasn't changed.
(SIGHS) Well, then we might be able to help each other.
(SIRENS WAILING) OFFICER: Suspect heading towards us.
Prepare the blockade.
(BRAKES SQUEAL) OFFICER: I can't see though.
- OFFICER 2: Eyes on.
- OFFICER 3: Easy, easy.
(HORN HONKING "SHAVE AND A HAIRCUT, TWO BITS") (OFFICERS CLAMORING) - (LUCIFER SIGHS) - OFFICER: Don't move! - (GUN COCKS) - Hello, there.
Hands in the air! That won't be necessary.
I'm Lucifer Morningstar, consultant for the LAPD.
I've apprehended this stolen vehicle and all of its contents.
- You're welcome.
- Hands up! - Down on the ground! - Well, I'd really rather not.
I've just got into some clean clothes.
Partner name and badge number! Oh, for goodness' sake.
Detective Decker.
I'm afraid I don't know her badge number.
- Detective Decker.
- But I'd say with certainty she's a 34-B, if that helps.
Hot as hell out here, isn't it? Well, close, anyway.
- Checks out.
- Well, of course it does I'm never wrong when it comes to cup size.
Okay.
Hold on! What'd you do with the real thief? Well, unfortunately, he got away.
But not to worry.
I don't think he'll be bothering you for a very, very long time.
The devil you know, the devil you know, the devil you don't 'Cause it's better to know the devil you know Than the devil you don't 'Cause wherever you go, wherever you go With the devil you know you're never alone But it's better to know the devil you know Than the devil you don't.
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) Ah.
Good.
You're here.
Well, I wasn't sure what you fancied, so I ordered a little of everything.
Thank you, Benjamin.
Lucifer, what is all of this? This is your new wellness regime.
I thought since I was responsible for your current state, the least I could do is heal you.
And yes, Benjamin is part of the package.
(CHUCKLES) He'll be back after dark.
Oh, well, don't worry, he'll be gentle.
Mm.
What? I just want to take care of you.
Is that so hard to believe? Yes.
Out with it.
- What's going on? - (SIGHS) (SNICKERS) Talk about insult to injury.
I-I-I didn't know that they could grow back.
Are wings like body hair? No.
Don't be so ridiculous.
This is Dad's latest stunt.
A celestial spanking, if you will.
I suppose that's what I get for giving Mum her own universe.
Holy crap! Exactly.
Mm.
But it's no biggie.
I cut them off once, and I can cut them off again.
Now, I'd have Maze do it, but she's off bounty hunting again, and well, I thought, what, with your medical expertise - and training - Even if I was that kind of doctor, I'm pretty sure they're not teaching wing-ectomies in med school.
No, no, no, it's quite simple it's just snip, snip, and Bob's your uncle.
Well, God's your Father, Lucifer.
And things are never simple with Him.
You don't know why for sure your wings have returned.
They've returned because Dad is a control freak.
He's pissed off that He can't get Mum back, so He stuck my wings back on.
But I am not His Mr.
Potato Head.
And don't worry, I fully plan to track down Dad's emissary on Earth, and give him a return message.
But for now Emissary? You think God sent someone to do this to you? Never mind all that.
Right now I need you to help me.
So come on, chop-chop.
No.
As your therapist, I'm sorry, but I can't do this.
- Well, as a friend, then.
- Yes, as a friend who got caught in the cross fire, I beg you, please, think this through before you do something rash.
I I almost died because of your family drama.
Right.
(SIGHS) But you can definitely text me Ben's number, though.
(WHISPERS): Okay.
Oh, gosh, it's hard enough just to scratch your own back.
Right, it's okay, it's okay, you can call off the search party.
I'm unharmed.
(EXHALES) - (GRUNTING IN PAIN) - 'Sup, wimp? Detective, Detective, I am so sorry.
You must have been so worried in my absence.
Your absence? I saw you two days ago.
I thought you were just avoiding meeting the new lieutenant.
New who? Never mind, I don't care.
We've got something much more important we need to discuss.
Oh, is this about the message you left? Message? Oh, right.
Uh, well, we will talk about that later, but right now we need to figure out who kidnapped me.
Kidnapped you? Okay, I'll play.
Who kidnapped you? I don't know.
Well, what did they look like? I don't know.
L-L-Look, I'm fairly certain that my Father's behind it.
Your father kidnapped you? Well, no, not Him personally.
God never gets His own hands dirty, does He? Uh-huh.
You don't believe me.
Uh-huh.
Sorry.
This is just a little far-fetched, even for you.
Right.
- Okay, fine.
- Mm-hmm.
I'll take you to the scene of the crime.
Come on.
Come on! Shuffle, no stopping I dare you to knock me out Knock me out.
LUCIFER: Yes, I'm sure.
It's just past this shrub.
Well, I don't see anything.
What? I Ah! Ha-ha! Footprints.
Those are mine.
Oh.
Well well, then the wind must have blown the crime scene bare, Detective, because I am not lying.
Someone kidnapped me.
I was outside the hospital, leaving you a message, and someone stashed me So this was about that message.
Look, Lucifer, if you regret what you said, if this kidnapping tale is some elaborate distraction, you can just stop.
All right? You don't need to tell me anything.
- I'm no stranger to the drunken dial.
- Yes, I have been known to avoid the issue at times, but that is not the case here.
Detective, I swear, this is the scene of a despicable crime.
What? I I believe you.
ELLA: Soaked in sweat, parched and starving, he scraped, clawed his way towards the light, but, ironically, the only thing stronger than his desperate desire to live was the sun its relentless heat literally cooking him, until one last breath (WHISPERS): and he's gone.
Tragic.
But, now, can we please get on with it? Whoever killed this dehydrated sap is clearly responsible for my devil-napping.
I mean, the location's far too coincidental.
Who is he, and what does he - have to do with me? - CHLOE: Steve Banales.
Owner and CEO of Angelette Hotel.
Steve Banales.
That's strange.
Never heard of him.
You'd think we'd have some kind of connection.
I suppose we'll get more answers once we find our assailant.
Hey, Jerry.
I think I found some footprints.
What? No, those are mine.
(SCOFFS) Amateurs.
How did we get stuck with the "B" team, anyway? Lucifer, this is Lancaster PD.
The crime scene is on the L.
A.
border, so they're here helping.
I mean, I think they're doing a great job.
Geez.
These Lancaster guys are a bunch of tools.
Oh.
DAN: Speaking of tools, whoa, whoa.
Whoa, hey, Detective? Detective? - So, what'd you find? - Looks like a key chain.
Hey, guys, look at this.
Finally.
A clue.
An "A"? - Right.
Off we go, Ms.
Lopez.
- Oh, uh, hold up, bud.
I need to do one more lap of the scene.
Want to make sure we didn't miss anything.
I mean, not that I don't trust Lancaster.
I just don't want to disappoint our new lieutenant.
Oh, my gosh, you guys, did I tell you that I saw Lieutenant Pierce speak at a conference last year? "The Red Tape Beyond the Yellow Tape.
" Riveting.
- Sounds it.
- CHLOE: Yeah, you told us.
Yup, you did.
Anyway, big fan.
The guy is a serious rock star.
I can't believe he transferred here.
We are so lucky.
And I hear he's a total sweetie pants to boot.
This is our first glance at the molecular shakedown Once you put up your hands We throw all of our weight around I'm Lieutenant Marcus Pierce.
I know you were made for me Yes, you were made for me All right, back to it.
Uh, Detective Daniel Espinoza.
Heard a lot about you, Lieutenant, and I'm really excited to work with you.
I wish I could say the same.
Aren't you that corrupt cop that got off easy? Excuse me? No.
Excuse me.
You must be Lucifer.
Morningstar.
Pleasure.
There was an investigation last year.
We interviewed what was it 92 of your sexual partners? I think I'll refrain from physical contact if you don't mind.
(LAUGHS) You don't seem reckless.
Narcissistic, hedonistic that I see.
Well, thank you very much.
Not a compliment.
Your file is as long as my Johnson.
Oh.
Quick read then? - Hardly.
- Well, I, for one, don't need a file to ascertain you haven't even had a snog in ages, have you? Accurate.
Okay! Hi.
I am Detective Decker.
Lucifer's partner.
I know.
Actually, he's mine.
Uh, uh, consultant, to be exact.
- That's what I said.
- But, uh Well? Isn't he amazing? We just had the best conversation over the doughnuts I brought for him everyone, not just him.
I'm not - kissing ass or anything.
- DAN: Mm-hmm.
Doughnuts for everyone! Doughnuts! - Right.
- Wow.
- Wow.
- Lucifer.
I've been looking all over for you.
(SIGHS) Uh, through here.
Go.
So what happened? It was terrible, Brother.
I was kidnapped.
No, Luci.
I meant Mom.
Ah.
Well, didn't you get my text? What? You mean the string of nonsensical emojis? Fire, sword, doughnut, spaceman, clock, dancing lady, flashlight, thumbs up.
How am I supposed to know what that means? I ignited the flaming sword, used it to cut a hole in space and time, Mum's light flooded through it, then it closed up behind her.
All good! Mom's Mom is gone? Yes.
Yes.
I mean, she says good-bye forever, she loves you very much, et cetera, et cetera, but the good news is you get your necklace back.
And we all know how attached to that you are.
So, back to more current issues.
Me and my kidnapping.
Now, clearly Dad is behind it, but the question is, who's his emissary, and how were they able to render me unconscious? Either they used some kind of celestial weapon, or the detective was nearby.
And if it's the latter, then it has to be someone who knows she makes me vulnerable.
Hang on.
The "A" on the key chain is for Amenadiel, isn't it? - What? - Of course.
It's you! Now that God's favorite son's regained his powers, he's back to being his little bitch.
Luci, I didn't get my powers back.
Yes, I was able to slow time, but uh, that appears to have been a one-time thing.
But you have got your wings back, huh? No.
Not yet.
Well, isn't that ironic? You want your wings back and didn't get them, and I get whacked over the head and hauled out to the desert.
That's not ironic.
Well, not ironic ironic.
More Alanis Morissette ironic.
Anyway, the point is, I'm sure your full powers will come back in no time.
You probably just need a good nap.
Or eat some mangos.
I've heard they work wonders.
- What? - We got a suspect.
Prints on the key chain.
First, it looked like it had been wiped down.
Then, I whipped out the color fluorescent film, and whammo.
- Well done, Miss Lopez - Mm-hmm.
Oh, sorry.
We haven't officially met yet.
I'm Ella.
- Amenadiel.
- I mean, I've seen you around, doing your handsome broody thing, but Anyway, any bro of Lucifer's is a bro of mine.
Whoa.
Someone works out.
Now I know who carries - the guns in the family.
- Right, yes.
Enough of that.
We have a suspect.
Shall we? Oh, Brother? About your problem Yeah.
I think I might have just the remedy.
I'll text you the info later.
Words this time, please! CHLOE: Josh Hamid, the victim's business partner.
The two own this hotel.
LUCIFER: Well, this is a mug shot.
Has he got a record? Yeah.
Possession of an exotic animal.
A tiger, I think.
Oh, that's illegal? Too bad.
Yeah, anyhow, looks like Josh and Steve both come from family money.
Basically bought this hotel just to have a place to party.
Imagine, buying your own establishment just to justify your decadent lifestyle.
It's absurd.
Yeah.
Absurd.
Thank you.
You are our secret It's worth keeping And now I'm keeping my mouth shut On the weekends I won't hang out with anybody else CHLOE: Josh Hamid? Who wants to know? Detective Decker, LAPD.
I imagine you recognize me.
You got a nice set of cans for a cop.
(LAUGHS) Right.
Whilst I don't disagree, that is incredibly disrespectful.
Perhaps I should teach you some manners.
Lucifer, I got this.
Got a nice ass, too.
Yeah? Well, I also got these, and your sorry ass is a suspect in the Steve Banales murder.
(LAUGHS) I told you Steve was up to something.
You want to cuff me, honey? You're gonna have to catch me.
LUCIFER: Excuse me.
(INDISTINCT EXCLAMATIONS) (WOMAN GASPS) (LAUGHS) (LAUGHING): Oh, you've got a gun.
Scary.
Hey, you tell Steve I am officially impressed.
You think this is funny?! - Lucifer! - (SCREAMS) (WATER SPLASHING) (LAUGHS) Well, maybe it's a bit funny.
So, Josh Why did you kidnap me?! I swear, I've never seen you before you tried to kill me today! Really, Joshy.
Excuse us.
What? - What are you doing? - Consulting.
Then consult less.
So you say you don't recognize Lucifer, but you do admit to knowing Steve Banales, correct? Then did you do this to him? - This is a joke, right? - (LAUGHS) We found this at the crime scene with your fingerprints all over it.
I didn't kill Steve, man! I would never! That's the key I gave to the fake kidnappers.
- Fake? - Yeah.
They get paid to abduct people.
I hired them for Steve.
- It's our thing.
- CHLOE: What? - To torture each other? - No! To pull pranks.
The more money we made, the crazier the prank.
The fake kidnapping was retaliation for the tiger Steve put in my backyard.
What's the name of the company? Snatched.
Super under the radar.
I-I got the deluxe package.
Ah.
Well, they delivered.
They were supposed to nab Steve for 48 hours, tie him up in a warehouse, stick him in the desert, and then drop him back at the hotel.
When he didn't show, I just assumed he was busy planning payback.
It's why I thought you weren't real cops.
I mean, a guy named Lucifer and the chick from Hot Tub Hotel? - High School.
- Hot Tub High School.
She wasn't in the sequel.
I'm sorry.
Anyway, can you blame me? Look, here's the thing, Joshy.
I can assure you we are quite real, and by the looks of it, so are your kidnappers, so tell us what you know about this Snatched.
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) All right, Luci, I got your text.
What's this magical remedy of yours? Hi.
I'm Remedy.
I'm here to rub you.
Uh, give you a massage.
Oh.
(LAUGHS) Well, why not? Lovely.
Um, please remove your clothing and get under the towel.
We're gonna need a bigger towel.
I know where they are.
I'll be right back.
(EXPLOSION) (SIGHS) Oh, man.
I searched the IP address, like, a zillion times and it keeps pinging to some random Russian server.
Surely there's some other way to track these miscreants.
Something we missed at the crime scene perhaps? I wish.
All we found there was that key chain and our second victim.
- Wait.
Second victim? - Leo.
Once a vibrant rock squirrel.
Now roadkill.
Judging from his time of death, about 16 hours before Steve died of dehydration.
It's pretty likely the kidnappers are the ones who ran him over.
Mmhmm.
Poor guy never even saw it coming.
So, did you lift any tire treads? Sure did.
Leo was squashed by a Ryuk Road Crusher tire.
Commercial grade.
Only 850,000 sets produced.
- In the world? - ELLA: Nope.
- In L.
A.
- Oh, for goodness' sakes.
You know, there still is one angle that we haven't quite explored yet.
And that is your connection to the case.
Oh, and I wasn't sure you thought there was one.
Well, I'm still not sure I do, but we're stuck, so do you think your kidnapping was intended as a prank? Or to actually hurt you, like Steve? Definitely the latter.
My Father is not a jokester.
Right.
Right.
So, say your father did hire these fake kidnappers - He did.
- to - Hmm.
- Any idea why? Of course.
He's angry that I gave Mum her own universe.
I mean, nothing pisses God off more than exercising free will.
- I am trying to believe you here.
- Something horrid happened to me and I woke up in the desert with my bloody wi What? Okay, Detective.
I understand your confusion.
And, although I've told you the truth from the beginning, you're a woman of logic and reason.
And that-that is why I left you that message.
You require proof.
And I suppose now is as good a time as any to give it to you.
So perhaps you should sit.
Okay.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, right.
Yeah.
Maybe I should leave.
You know, uh, third wheel.
- Watch out.
- (WHISTLES) (SIGHS) Okay.
Lucifer, just show me what you need to show me.
You know, I don't need anything to drink.
Well, I do.
I have tried to be honest with you, but if I'm being honest with myself, and I have held the real truth back from you, and you, of all people, deserve to know that, Detective.
Which is why I want to show you.
(INHALES) Lucifer, whatever it is that you want to show me or that you want to tell me, it's okay.
I'm here for you.
Okay.
Then, once and for all, I'd like to show you who I really am.
(QUIETLY): Okay.
You ready? Yeah.
(GRUNTING) (EXHALING) Oh, my God.
What? Are you gassy? (GRUNTING) Why is it not working? Why isn't what working? What? I don't understand.
- (GROWLS) - I do.
You know, I keep caring, and you you just Just No, Detective! I I really am the Devil.
Well, that sucks.
Dead ends piss me off.
Which is why I don't believe in them.
Now, these kidnappers might be fake but they're not invisible.
There has to be a way to find them.
CHLOE: You're right.
If Muhammad won't come to the mountain, the mountain must go to Muhammad.
I have no idea what that means, Decker.
Well, someone needs to get kidnapped.
Now, there's an idea.
That I was just suggesting.
No one likes a credit hog, Decker.
Now, who would be the bait? Well, I'd like to volunteer.
CHLOE: Uh, it's not a good idea.
If these are the same guys that abducted, allegedly, Lucifer, they're gonna recognize him.
Right.
We need somebody who's a lot less, well everything.
Esperanza.
Es-Espinoza.
And, sure, that makes, uh, makes sense.
I have the most experience in the field, so if something goes wrong, then You're expendable.
Exactly.
Thank you.
Now go get kidnapped, Esperanza.
I'm telling everybody charge up the power The lights go out in the midnight hour Hey, excuse me, I was wondering if I could get a We're closed.
We ran out of meat.
All right, Daniel.
You're not allergic to gerbils, are you? Just making some last-minute adjustments to the questionnaire.
Hilarious.
Hey, Lucifer, did you set up the pickup point? Yes.
Tour bus pickup.
Olvera Street.
Exactly one half hour from now.
All right, good.
Hey.
You know the team will intervene before anyone gets hurt, yeah? Yeah.
Okay.
Look, if you're upset about what the lieutenant said, you're not alone.
He's not a fan of mine, either.
And I still can't believe he called me "Lucifer's partner.
" You are my partner! (SIGHS) You know, the truth is, I am feeling expendable.
- Why? - It's not because Pierce said it.
It's because of Charlotte.
Oh.
Yeah, after everything that happened at the beach, she's acting like she doesn't even know me.
I'm not an idiot, I know she was using me at first, but but then it seemed like she actually cared.
Well, um Whatever.
I'll get over it.
I'm sorry, Dan.
Yes, I'm sorry, too, Daniel, that I can't hear you.
Could you speak up, please? PIERCE (OVER RADIO): T minus 20, people.
Take your mark, Espinoza.
Right, I'll check in with McMillian at the lookout point.
Okay.
Uh, Daniel.
- Listen, uh - Come on.
Oh, right.
Undercover, yes.
Listen, I know you were talking about Charlotte.
And as douchey as you may be, and I know you can't help it, her current behavior has nothing to do with you, okay? And as much as I appreciate the pep talk, Lucifer, it was kinda you that got me in the whole Charlotte mess in the first place.
So maybe you should just take care of your side of the street for a change, all right? Good talk.
My side of the street.
That's a good idea.
(QUIET KNOCKING ON DOOR) Leo? (KNOCKING ON DOOR) Oh.
Hey.
I'm sorry to bother you, but do you have any idea where my brother went? He's ignoring my phone calls.
Oh, bud, no, no, no.
He's totally not ignoring you.
He's just in the middle of this sting operation.
Oh.
Can I help? That's very nice of you, but no.
It's personal.
You a believer? Well, then, whatever it is you're going through, I'm sure it's all part of His plan.
I mean, even the most pathetic, sad sack, powerless of creatures serve a purpose.
Like Leo here.
A van may have cracked his nuts in the middle of the desert, but he's still valuable evidence.
That's the thing.
You never know when your rock-bottom pain and humiliation can end up helping others.
I mean, God works in mysterious ways.
So you just got to believe that when He crushes your nuts, He does it for a reason.
Has this, um, Leo provided you with a break in your case? Not yet.
But you got to have faith, right? Right.
Right.
The kidnappers are seven minutes late.
Yeah, well, we didn't give them a lot of prep time; don't worry.
I'm worried.
Where are they? They'll be here.
(QUIETLY): Come on.
Come on, be here.
Be here.
(TIRES SCREECH) Oh, lovely.
Right on time.
Hello.
Right.
How do we do Oh, careful.
I bruise like a peach.
(GRUNTS) Easy.
(PHONE BUZZES) Seriously? (WATER DRIPPING) LUCIFER: Ah, there you are.
I have to say, the leaky pipe is a nice touch.
Very Blood Simple.
Coen Brothers movie? No? Oh.
Well, hello, kidnappers.
Finally, I have you right where I want you.
(BOTH CHUCKLE) (CHUCKLES) Let's see, so many questions, BUT LET'S START WITH: how did you abduct me the first time? Hmm? How did you render me unconscious? (LAUGHING): Ow.
What are you doing? Stop it, that tickles.
(GRUNTS) We used this last week, right? Yeah.
Did you forget to charge it? No.
I didn't forget to charge it.
- (HIGH-PITCHED SCREAM) - Dude.
- Not cool.
- I just don't get it.
I don't know.
I hate to interrupt.
(BOTH GASP) (CLEARS THROAT) Where were we? Remind me not to leave Lucifer in the front seat unattended.
And remind me to kick his ass for humiliating me in front of Pierce.
Well, I'll help you if we can find him.
Look don't worry, Chloe.
Lucifer can take care of himself.
Found Lucifer's phone in some bushes on Alameda Street.
Kidnappers must have tossed it.
What about, uh, traffic cams? - Maybe we can pull a plate number.
- No.
I checked everything within a mile radius.
Nada.
Must have grabbed him in a blind spot.
Unfortunately, I think we're dealing with some pretty crafty bad guys.
MAN: I can't breathe! (GROANING, CRYING) Please don't crush him.
We've only just begun.
No.
Come on, man.
Ask us anything! (CRIES) All right.
My face how did you do it? What?! Well, the wings are one thing, but my Devil face how did you take that? We've never seen you before, man! Yeah, man.
Never heard of you before today.
I just got a name Daniel LaDoosh a pickup point, and that you got a thing for gerbils.
(CRYING) I suppose you also deny abducting Mr.
Banales and leaving him to perish in the desert, do you? He's the client from last week, man! Right, man.
His friend got him the deluxe package.
We did the detail work here, and then our partner Sam picked him up, took him to the spider hole for a few hours, and dropped him back off at the hotel.
Well, then, it seems your colleague took a detour.
Where does this Sam live? Koreatown! It's a pink building on Leeward.
- Apartment? - 5B, man! 5B! Lovely.
Thanks for your help.
Hey, man! (CRYING) Will you let us go, man? (BOTH SCREAM) ELLA: So, prints off the key chain led to Josh.
CHLOE: Right.
Tire treads on the roadkill led to nothing.
There's got to be something we're missing.
Maybe Lancaster has something.
We're screwed.
Or not.
Remember the detective who found the key chain? He doesn't exist, at least not at Lancaster PD.
They only sent patrol units to the scene.
Whoa.
You think that was our guy? Killers often return to the scene of the crime.
DAN: Which means he wasn't finding evidence.
He was trying to steal it.
Should have known.
Why should you have known? Lancaster doesn't know us, we don't know them.
Look, let's just look through these photos, try and find him in the background, okay? -Yes, and then we can nail his ass with facial recognition software.
Here he is.
But his back's to us.
You guys oh, my gosh.
I knew I knew he didn't die in vain.
- What? - Who? Leo.
See, look.
There's our suspect, right, leaving the scene, walking towards that van.
Ryuk Road Crusher tires.
Commercial grade.
That's the van that ran over Leo.
I mean, this pretty much confirms - that this guy's our killer.
- CHLOE: Okay.
So maybe we can get an ID.
Let's run the license plate.
(KNOCKING) Remember me? It's you.
Yes.
You know me as the Devil you so rudely turned into an angel and then dumped in the middle of the desert, but I don't know you, so, come on, introduce yourself.
- I'm Sam.
- Yes, yes, I know that, but what are you? And how did my Father get his hooks into you? Your father? Oh, come on, don't be coy.
Let me see.
Unless Dad got jiggy with some celestial babe after Mum, then you're not my sibling, so demon.
Hmm? Changeling? I work for an extreme kidnapping company.
Snatched.
Oh, do you now? Well, do you know what? It doesn't matter what you are because this should take care of you.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I left you in the desert.
I really am.
And I'm sorry I left that Steve guy there, too.
I He was just a routine gig.
I was gonna swap him for you, but when I went to pull you out of the van, you you had friggin' wings, man! Well, duh! Wings that you put there at the behest of my Father! - Now stop lying! - I'm not! I didn't mean to hurt anyone.
I swear.
And believe me, I didn't want to run, but you scared the hell out of me.
Right, you listen, Sammy, I know you're just the messenger, so why don't you deliver a message on my behalf? I define who I am, not Him.
Me! (CRIES) Oh, bloody hell.
They're back, aren't they? - How? - (WHOOSH) How are you doing this? Did my Father give you some kind of totem? A talisman? - What? - I'm telling you, I don't I don't know what's happening.
And I don't know your dad.
Unless, is your, is your dad the Sinnerman? Quite the opposite.
Who's the Sinnerman? That's, that's who, who hired me to kidnap you.
He's, he's, he's a scary dude.
Huge crime boss.
I owed him big time.
But because I didn't finish the job, I'm as good as dead now.
That's why I was running.
And where do I find this Sinnerman? You don't.
He finds you.
CHLOE: Lucifer? Get up.
Up.
Come on, get up.
Put your hands behind your back.
- What happened to you? - I I don't know.
Decker, it ain't good.
Lieutenant, look, I-I know what you're gonna say.
And, even though we caught our guy, Lucifer was way out of line, and I-I don't disagree, but here's what you got to know about our unorthodox methods - Detective, you - I am Lucifer's partner, yes, you're right, but you know what? He's mine, too.
And, for whatever reason, we make an effective team.
And will be even more so when I stop investing on a, um personal level.
I am here to solve crimes.
Not to see his his thing or whatever, which is not something that you need to know.
Right.
Look, point is, you can say what you want, but I know I'm a good detective and I have a damn good solve rate to prove that.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
I just came down here to let you know that your perp has been released on bail.
Oh.
W-Wait, how is that possible? Don't know.
Friends in high places, I guess.
But there's got to be something.
I mean, don't-don't you care? You do what you can, Decker.
You can't save them all.
Oh.
But, um, good luck with Lucifer's thing or whatever.
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) Oh, hello, Brother.
So, did Remedy cure what ails you? Did her massage make anything pop out? Talking about your wings, of course.
No, mine are still absent.
But yours, on the other hand (SOFTLY): Oh.
Lucifer, I'm not angry with you that you somehow got your wings back, or even that you cut them off again, as foul as that may be.
I'm angry with myself.
Because somehow I made you feel like you couldn't confide in me.
Well, comparing body parts is never good for the male ego, especially between brothers.
But that's just it, Luci.
My ego should never be an issue.
I am an angel.
A soldier of God.
His favorite son.
Oh, that's gonna be a thing, isn't it? (STIFLED LAUGH) Listen, Father, He works in mysterious ways.
I was tested once and I failed.
I'm not gonna fail again.
Because this time, I have faith.
Excellent.
And I suppose this won't bother you.
(WHOOSH) But you you cut them off.
I did, but the pesky things seem to be a bit more tenacious this time around.
Well, like I said, I have faith.
I'm sure it's all a part of God's plan.
(LAUGHING): Yes! If you mean his plan to continually manipulate and control me, then agreed.
Because, by the way, he didn't just give my wings back, he took my Devil face as well.
Luci, do you realize what this means? Perhaps Father is trying to show you that, that you've been forgiven.
What if I don't want His forgiveness? But, Brother, if you can be redeemed, that means that anyone can.
Now, isn't that divine? (SCOFFS) I'm not sure that this is divinity at work here.
(SIGHS) Have you ever heard of someone named the Sinnerman? The Sinnerman? No.
Why? That's who kidnapped me.
At first, I thought it was a an emissary on Earth working on Dad's behalf, but then, the more I think about it, the more I think maybe this isn't our Father who art in Heaven at all.
But something much, much darker.
Well, where else would I go? I got it.
I got it.
The name.
The whole Lucifer thing.
And desire's, like, your superpower.
Mm, it's more like a gift from God, really.
My God.
Your dad did that to you? No, that's where I cut my wings off.
LUCIFER: Mum's powers are returning, and it won't be long before we can't contain them.
I'm afraid that this ends now.
(YELLS) Bloody hell, it worked! - Who are you? - I should never have got you involved in any of this from the start.
I just realized something that I need to do.
Detective, I'm coming over now to tell you the truth about me.
Mm, mm The devil you know, the devil you know, the devil you don't 'Cause it's better to know The devil you know than the devil you don't 'Cause wherever you go, wherever you go With the devil you know you're never alone But it's better to know the devil you know Than the devil you don't, yeah, ay Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh - The devil you know - Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh (HORN HONKING) Are you blind? (METAL CREAKING) (GRUNTS LOUDLY) (LAUGHS QUIETLY) (EXHALES) The day I've had, I tell you.
Right.
I'd like a ride to Los Angeles, please.
I oh.
Dearie me.
At least I'm healing fast.
Do you have any aloe vera? I ain't going back to L.
A.
What Hold on, you're not a real armored truck driver, are you? Wait.
Don't I know you from somewhere? Oh, yes, yes.
You're that jewelry thief, the one who left in nothing but his manties.
You! You got me put in jail! Uh, well, I think that one's on you, sir.
I wasn't the one with the gun and the ski mask.
I'm not gonna let you screw this up for me again.
It's time for you to go.
(CHUCKLES) Well, you are a tenacious one, I'll give you that.
Respect.
You one crazy-ass bitch.
Now, get out of the truck.
- (GUN COCKS) - Now.
Look I know you don't want to shoot me, Mr.
What's your name? - Said out, bitch.
- Mr.
Said Out Bitch, tell me, what is it you really desire? I just want to get out of here, man.
Right, freedom, of course.
- (SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE) - That hasn't changed.
(SIGHS) Well, then we might be able to help each other.
(SIRENS WAILING) OFFICER: Suspect heading towards us.
Prepare the blockade.
(BRAKES SQUEAL) OFFICER: I can't see though.
- OFFICER 2: Eyes on.
- OFFICER 3: Easy, easy.
(HORN HONKING "SHAVE AND A HAIRCUT, TWO BITS") (OFFICERS CLAMORING) - (LUCIFER SIGHS) - OFFICER: Don't move! - (GUN COCKS) - Hello, there.
Hands in the air! That won't be necessary.
I'm Lucifer Morningstar, consultant for the LAPD.
I've apprehended this stolen vehicle and all of its contents.
- You're welcome.
- Hands up! - Down on the ground! - Well, I'd really rather not.
I've just got into some clean clothes.
Partner name and badge number! Oh, for goodness' sake.
Detective Decker.
I'm afraid I don't know her badge number.
- Detective Decker.
- But I'd say with certainty she's a 34-B, if that helps.
Hot as hell out here, isn't it? Well, close, anyway.
- Checks out.
- Well, of course it does I'm never wrong when it comes to cup size.
Okay.
Hold on! What'd you do with the real thief? Well, unfortunately, he got away.
But not to worry.
I don't think he'll be bothering you for a very, very long time.
The devil you know, the devil you know, the devil you don't 'Cause it's better to know the devil you know Than the devil you don't 'Cause wherever you go, wherever you go With the devil you know you're never alone But it's better to know the devil you know Than the devil you don't.
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) Ah.
Good.
You're here.
Well, I wasn't sure what you fancied, so I ordered a little of everything.
Thank you, Benjamin.
Lucifer, what is all of this? This is your new wellness regime.
I thought since I was responsible for your current state, the least I could do is heal you.
And yes, Benjamin is part of the package.
(CHUCKLES) He'll be back after dark.
Oh, well, don't worry, he'll be gentle.
Mm.
What? I just want to take care of you.
Is that so hard to believe? Yes.
Out with it.
- What's going on? - (SIGHS) (SNICKERS) Talk about insult to injury.
I-I-I didn't know that they could grow back.
Are wings like body hair? No.
Don't be so ridiculous.
This is Dad's latest stunt.
A celestial spanking, if you will.
I suppose that's what I get for giving Mum her own universe.
Holy crap! Exactly.
Mm.
But it's no biggie.
I cut them off once, and I can cut them off again.
Now, I'd have Maze do it, but she's off bounty hunting again, and well, I thought, what, with your medical expertise - and training - Even if I was that kind of doctor, I'm pretty sure they're not teaching wing-ectomies in med school.
No, no, no, it's quite simple it's just snip, snip, and Bob's your uncle.
Well, God's your Father, Lucifer.
And things are never simple with Him.
You don't know why for sure your wings have returned.
They've returned because Dad is a control freak.
He's pissed off that He can't get Mum back, so He stuck my wings back on.
But I am not His Mr.
Potato Head.
And don't worry, I fully plan to track down Dad's emissary on Earth, and give him a return message.
But for now Emissary? You think God sent someone to do this to you? Never mind all that.
Right now I need you to help me.
So come on, chop-chop.
No.
As your therapist, I'm sorry, but I can't do this.
- Well, as a friend, then.
- Yes, as a friend who got caught in the cross fire, I beg you, please, think this through before you do something rash.
I I almost died because of your family drama.
Right.
(SIGHS) But you can definitely text me Ben's number, though.
(WHISPERS): Okay.
Oh, gosh, it's hard enough just to scratch your own back.
Right, it's okay, it's okay, you can call off the search party.
I'm unharmed.
(EXHALES) - (GRUNTING IN PAIN) - 'Sup, wimp? Detective, Detective, I am so sorry.
You must have been so worried in my absence.
Your absence? I saw you two days ago.
I thought you were just avoiding meeting the new lieutenant.
New who? Never mind, I don't care.
We've got something much more important we need to discuss.
Oh, is this about the message you left? Message? Oh, right.
Uh, well, we will talk about that later, but right now we need to figure out who kidnapped me.
Kidnapped you? Okay, I'll play.
Who kidnapped you? I don't know.
Well, what did they look like? I don't know.
L-L-Look, I'm fairly certain that my Father's behind it.
Your father kidnapped you? Well, no, not Him personally.
God never gets His own hands dirty, does He? Uh-huh.
You don't believe me.
Uh-huh.
Sorry.
This is just a little far-fetched, even for you.
Right.
- Okay, fine.
- Mm-hmm.
I'll take you to the scene of the crime.
Come on.
Come on! Shuffle, no stopping I dare you to knock me out Knock me out.
LUCIFER: Yes, I'm sure.
It's just past this shrub.
Well, I don't see anything.
What? I Ah! Ha-ha! Footprints.
Those are mine.
Oh.
Well well, then the wind must have blown the crime scene bare, Detective, because I am not lying.
Someone kidnapped me.
I was outside the hospital, leaving you a message, and someone stashed me So this was about that message.
Look, Lucifer, if you regret what you said, if this kidnapping tale is some elaborate distraction, you can just stop.
All right? You don't need to tell me anything.
- I'm no stranger to the drunken dial.
- Yes, I have been known to avoid the issue at times, but that is not the case here.
Detective, I swear, this is the scene of a despicable crime.
What? I I believe you.
ELLA: Soaked in sweat, parched and starving, he scraped, clawed his way towards the light, but, ironically, the only thing stronger than his desperate desire to live was the sun its relentless heat literally cooking him, until one last breath (WHISPERS): and he's gone.
Tragic.
But, now, can we please get on with it? Whoever killed this dehydrated sap is clearly responsible for my devil-napping.
I mean, the location's far too coincidental.
Who is he, and what does he - have to do with me? - CHLOE: Steve Banales.
Owner and CEO of Angelette Hotel.
Steve Banales.
That's strange.
Never heard of him.
You'd think we'd have some kind of connection.
I suppose we'll get more answers once we find our assailant.
Hey, Jerry.
I think I found some footprints.
What? No, those are mine.
(SCOFFS) Amateurs.
How did we get stuck with the "B" team, anyway? Lucifer, this is Lancaster PD.
The crime scene is on the L.
A.
border, so they're here helping.
I mean, I think they're doing a great job.
Geez.
These Lancaster guys are a bunch of tools.
Oh.
DAN: Speaking of tools, whoa, whoa.
Whoa, hey, Detective? Detective? - So, what'd you find? - Looks like a key chain.
Hey, guys, look at this.
Finally.
A clue.
An "A"? - Right.
Off we go, Ms.
Lopez.
- Oh, uh, hold up, bud.
I need to do one more lap of the scene.
Want to make sure we didn't miss anything.
I mean, not that I don't trust Lancaster.
I just don't want to disappoint our new lieutenant.
Oh, my gosh, you guys, did I tell you that I saw Lieutenant Pierce speak at a conference last year? "The Red Tape Beyond the Yellow Tape.
" Riveting.
- Sounds it.
- CHLOE: Yeah, you told us.
Yup, you did.
Anyway, big fan.
The guy is a serious rock star.
I can't believe he transferred here.
We are so lucky.
And I hear he's a total sweetie pants to boot.
This is our first glance at the molecular shakedown Once you put up your hands We throw all of our weight around I'm Lieutenant Marcus Pierce.
I know you were made for me Yes, you were made for me All right, back to it.
Uh, Detective Daniel Espinoza.
Heard a lot about you, Lieutenant, and I'm really excited to work with you.
I wish I could say the same.
Aren't you that corrupt cop that got off easy? Excuse me? No.
Excuse me.
You must be Lucifer.
Morningstar.
Pleasure.
There was an investigation last year.
We interviewed what was it 92 of your sexual partners? I think I'll refrain from physical contact if you don't mind.
(LAUGHS) You don't seem reckless.
Narcissistic, hedonistic that I see.
Well, thank you very much.
Not a compliment.
Your file is as long as my Johnson.
Oh.
Quick read then? - Hardly.
- Well, I, for one, don't need a file to ascertain you haven't even had a snog in ages, have you? Accurate.
Okay! Hi.
I am Detective Decker.
Lucifer's partner.
I know.
Actually, he's mine.
Uh, uh, consultant, to be exact.
- That's what I said.
- But, uh Well? Isn't he amazing? We just had the best conversation over the doughnuts I brought for him everyone, not just him.
I'm not - kissing ass or anything.
- DAN: Mm-hmm.
Doughnuts for everyone! Doughnuts! - Right.
- Wow.
- Wow.
- Lucifer.
I've been looking all over for you.
(SIGHS) Uh, through here.
Go.
So what happened? It was terrible, Brother.
I was kidnapped.
No, Luci.
I meant Mom.
Ah.
Well, didn't you get my text? What? You mean the string of nonsensical emojis? Fire, sword, doughnut, spaceman, clock, dancing lady, flashlight, thumbs up.
How am I supposed to know what that means? I ignited the flaming sword, used it to cut a hole in space and time, Mum's light flooded through it, then it closed up behind her.
All good! Mom's Mom is gone? Yes.
Yes.
I mean, she says good-bye forever, she loves you very much, et cetera, et cetera, but the good news is you get your necklace back.
And we all know how attached to that you are.
So, back to more current issues.
Me and my kidnapping.
Now, clearly Dad is behind it, but the question is, who's his emissary, and how were they able to render me unconscious? Either they used some kind of celestial weapon, or the detective was nearby.
And if it's the latter, then it has to be someone who knows she makes me vulnerable.
Hang on.
The "A" on the key chain is for Amenadiel, isn't it? - What? - Of course.
It's you! Now that God's favorite son's regained his powers, he's back to being his little bitch.
Luci, I didn't get my powers back.
Yes, I was able to slow time, but uh, that appears to have been a one-time thing.
But you have got your wings back, huh? No.
Not yet.
Well, isn't that ironic? You want your wings back and didn't get them, and I get whacked over the head and hauled out to the desert.
That's not ironic.
Well, not ironic ironic.
More Alanis Morissette ironic.
Anyway, the point is, I'm sure your full powers will come back in no time.
You probably just need a good nap.
Or eat some mangos.
I've heard they work wonders.
- What? - We got a suspect.
Prints on the key chain.
First, it looked like it had been wiped down.
Then, I whipped out the color fluorescent film, and whammo.
- Well done, Miss Lopez - Mm-hmm.
Oh, sorry.
We haven't officially met yet.
I'm Ella.
- Amenadiel.
- I mean, I've seen you around, doing your handsome broody thing, but Anyway, any bro of Lucifer's is a bro of mine.
Whoa.
Someone works out.
Now I know who carries - the guns in the family.
- Right, yes.
Enough of that.
We have a suspect.
Shall we? Oh, Brother? About your problem Yeah.
I think I might have just the remedy.
I'll text you the info later.
Words this time, please! CHLOE: Josh Hamid, the victim's business partner.
The two own this hotel.
LUCIFER: Well, this is a mug shot.
Has he got a record? Yeah.
Possession of an exotic animal.
A tiger, I think.
Oh, that's illegal? Too bad.
Yeah, anyhow, looks like Josh and Steve both come from family money.
Basically bought this hotel just to have a place to party.
Imagine, buying your own establishment just to justify your decadent lifestyle.
It's absurd.
Yeah.
Absurd.
Thank you.
You are our secret It's worth keeping And now I'm keeping my mouth shut On the weekends I won't hang out with anybody else CHLOE: Josh Hamid? Who wants to know? Detective Decker, LAPD.
I imagine you recognize me.
You got a nice set of cans for a cop.
(LAUGHS) Right.
Whilst I don't disagree, that is incredibly disrespectful.
Perhaps I should teach you some manners.
Lucifer, I got this.
Got a nice ass, too.
Yeah? Well, I also got these, and your sorry ass is a suspect in the Steve Banales murder.
(LAUGHS) I told you Steve was up to something.
You want to cuff me, honey? You're gonna have to catch me.
LUCIFER: Excuse me.
(INDISTINCT EXCLAMATIONS) (WOMAN GASPS) (LAUGHS) (LAUGHING): Oh, you've got a gun.
Scary.
Hey, you tell Steve I am officially impressed.
You think this is funny?! - Lucifer! - (SCREAMS) (WATER SPLASHING) (LAUGHS) Well, maybe it's a bit funny.
So, Josh Why did you kidnap me?! I swear, I've never seen you before you tried to kill me today! Really, Joshy.
Excuse us.
What? - What are you doing? - Consulting.
Then consult less.
So you say you don't recognize Lucifer, but you do admit to knowing Steve Banales, correct? Then did you do this to him? - This is a joke, right? - (LAUGHS) We found this at the crime scene with your fingerprints all over it.
I didn't kill Steve, man! I would never! That's the key I gave to the fake kidnappers.
- Fake? - Yeah.
They get paid to abduct people.
I hired them for Steve.
- It's our thing.
- CHLOE: What? - To torture each other? - No! To pull pranks.
The more money we made, the crazier the prank.
The fake kidnapping was retaliation for the tiger Steve put in my backyard.
What's the name of the company? Snatched.
Super under the radar.
I-I got the deluxe package.
Ah.
Well, they delivered.
They were supposed to nab Steve for 48 hours, tie him up in a warehouse, stick him in the desert, and then drop him back at the hotel.
When he didn't show, I just assumed he was busy planning payback.
It's why I thought you weren't real cops.
I mean, a guy named Lucifer and the chick from Hot Tub Hotel? - High School.
- Hot Tub High School.
She wasn't in the sequel.
I'm sorry.
Anyway, can you blame me? Look, here's the thing, Joshy.
I can assure you we are quite real, and by the looks of it, so are your kidnappers, so tell us what you know about this Snatched.
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) All right, Luci, I got your text.
What's this magical remedy of yours? Hi.
I'm Remedy.
I'm here to rub you.
Uh, give you a massage.
Oh.
(LAUGHS) Well, why not? Lovely.
Um, please remove your clothing and get under the towel.
We're gonna need a bigger towel.
I know where they are.
I'll be right back.
(EXPLOSION) (SIGHS) Oh, man.
I searched the IP address, like, a zillion times and it keeps pinging to some random Russian server.
Surely there's some other way to track these miscreants.
Something we missed at the crime scene perhaps? I wish.
All we found there was that key chain and our second victim.
- Wait.
Second victim? - Leo.
Once a vibrant rock squirrel.
Now roadkill.
Judging from his time of death, about 16 hours before Steve died of dehydration.
It's pretty likely the kidnappers are the ones who ran him over.
Mmhmm.
Poor guy never even saw it coming.
So, did you lift any tire treads? Sure did.
Leo was squashed by a Ryuk Road Crusher tire.
Commercial grade.
Only 850,000 sets produced.
- In the world? - ELLA: Nope.
- In L.
A.
- Oh, for goodness' sakes.
You know, there still is one angle that we haven't quite explored yet.
And that is your connection to the case.
Oh, and I wasn't sure you thought there was one.
Well, I'm still not sure I do, but we're stuck, so do you think your kidnapping was intended as a prank? Or to actually hurt you, like Steve? Definitely the latter.
My Father is not a jokester.
Right.
Right.
So, say your father did hire these fake kidnappers - He did.
- to - Hmm.
- Any idea why? Of course.
He's angry that I gave Mum her own universe.
I mean, nothing pisses God off more than exercising free will.
- I am trying to believe you here.
- Something horrid happened to me and I woke up in the desert with my bloody wi What? Okay, Detective.
I understand your confusion.
And, although I've told you the truth from the beginning, you're a woman of logic and reason.
And that-that is why I left you that message.
You require proof.
And I suppose now is as good a time as any to give it to you.
So perhaps you should sit.
Okay.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, right.
Yeah.
Maybe I should leave.
You know, uh, third wheel.
- Watch out.
- (WHISTLES) (SIGHS) Okay.
Lucifer, just show me what you need to show me.
You know, I don't need anything to drink.
Well, I do.
I have tried to be honest with you, but if I'm being honest with myself, and I have held the real truth back from you, and you, of all people, deserve to know that, Detective.
Which is why I want to show you.
(INHALES) Lucifer, whatever it is that you want to show me or that you want to tell me, it's okay.
I'm here for you.
Okay.
Then, once and for all, I'd like to show you who I really am.
(QUIETLY): Okay.
You ready? Yeah.
(GRUNTING) (EXHALING) Oh, my God.
What? Are you gassy? (GRUNTING) Why is it not working? Why isn't what working? What? I don't understand.
- (GROWLS) - I do.
You know, I keep caring, and you you just Just No, Detective! I I really am the Devil.
Well, that sucks.
Dead ends piss me off.
Which is why I don't believe in them.
Now, these kidnappers might be fake but they're not invisible.
There has to be a way to find them.
CHLOE: You're right.
If Muhammad won't come to the mountain, the mountain must go to Muhammad.
I have no idea what that means, Decker.
Well, someone needs to get kidnapped.
Now, there's an idea.
That I was just suggesting.
No one likes a credit hog, Decker.
Now, who would be the bait? Well, I'd like to volunteer.
CHLOE: Uh, it's not a good idea.
If these are the same guys that abducted, allegedly, Lucifer, they're gonna recognize him.
Right.
We need somebody who's a lot less, well everything.
Esperanza.
Es-Espinoza.
And, sure, that makes, uh, makes sense.
I have the most experience in the field, so if something goes wrong, then You're expendable.
Exactly.
Thank you.
Now go get kidnapped, Esperanza.
I'm telling everybody charge up the power The lights go out in the midnight hour Hey, excuse me, I was wondering if I could get a We're closed.
We ran out of meat.
All right, Daniel.
You're not allergic to gerbils, are you? Just making some last-minute adjustments to the questionnaire.
Hilarious.
Hey, Lucifer, did you set up the pickup point? Yes.
Tour bus pickup.
Olvera Street.
Exactly one half hour from now.
All right, good.
Hey.
You know the team will intervene before anyone gets hurt, yeah? Yeah.
Okay.
Look, if you're upset about what the lieutenant said, you're not alone.
He's not a fan of mine, either.
And I still can't believe he called me "Lucifer's partner.
" You are my partner! (SIGHS) You know, the truth is, I am feeling expendable.
- Why? - It's not because Pierce said it.
It's because of Charlotte.
Oh.
Yeah, after everything that happened at the beach, she's acting like she doesn't even know me.
I'm not an idiot, I know she was using me at first, but but then it seemed like she actually cared.
Well, um Whatever.
I'll get over it.
I'm sorry, Dan.
Yes, I'm sorry, too, Daniel, that I can't hear you.
Could you speak up, please? PIERCE (OVER RADIO): T minus 20, people.
Take your mark, Espinoza.
Right, I'll check in with McMillian at the lookout point.
Okay.
Uh, Daniel.
- Listen, uh - Come on.
Oh, right.
Undercover, yes.
Listen, I know you were talking about Charlotte.
And as douchey as you may be, and I know you can't help it, her current behavior has nothing to do with you, okay? And as much as I appreciate the pep talk, Lucifer, it was kinda you that got me in the whole Charlotte mess in the first place.
So maybe you should just take care of your side of the street for a change, all right? Good talk.
My side of the street.
That's a good idea.
(QUIET KNOCKING ON DOOR) Leo? (KNOCKING ON DOOR) Oh.
Hey.
I'm sorry to bother you, but do you have any idea where my brother went? He's ignoring my phone calls.
Oh, bud, no, no, no.
He's totally not ignoring you.
He's just in the middle of this sting operation.
Oh.
Can I help? That's very nice of you, but no.
It's personal.
You a believer? Well, then, whatever it is you're going through, I'm sure it's all part of His plan.
I mean, even the most pathetic, sad sack, powerless of creatures serve a purpose.
Like Leo here.
A van may have cracked his nuts in the middle of the desert, but he's still valuable evidence.
That's the thing.
You never know when your rock-bottom pain and humiliation can end up helping others.
I mean, God works in mysterious ways.
So you just got to believe that when He crushes your nuts, He does it for a reason.
Has this, um, Leo provided you with a break in your case? Not yet.
But you got to have faith, right? Right.
Right.
The kidnappers are seven minutes late.
Yeah, well, we didn't give them a lot of prep time; don't worry.
I'm worried.
Where are they? They'll be here.
(QUIETLY): Come on.
Come on, be here.
Be here.
(TIRES SCREECH) Oh, lovely.
Right on time.
Hello.
Right.
How do we do Oh, careful.
I bruise like a peach.
(GRUNTS) Easy.
(PHONE BUZZES) Seriously? (WATER DRIPPING) LUCIFER: Ah, there you are.
I have to say, the leaky pipe is a nice touch.
Very Blood Simple.
Coen Brothers movie? No? Oh.
Well, hello, kidnappers.
Finally, I have you right where I want you.
(BOTH CHUCKLE) (CHUCKLES) Let's see, so many questions, BUT LET'S START WITH: how did you abduct me the first time? Hmm? How did you render me unconscious? (LAUGHING): Ow.
What are you doing? Stop it, that tickles.
(GRUNTS) We used this last week, right? Yeah.
Did you forget to charge it? No.
I didn't forget to charge it.
- (HIGH-PITCHED SCREAM) - Dude.
- Not cool.
- I just don't get it.
I don't know.
I hate to interrupt.
(BOTH GASP) (CLEARS THROAT) Where were we? Remind me not to leave Lucifer in the front seat unattended.
And remind me to kick his ass for humiliating me in front of Pierce.
Well, I'll help you if we can find him.
Look don't worry, Chloe.
Lucifer can take care of himself.
Found Lucifer's phone in some bushes on Alameda Street.
Kidnappers must have tossed it.
What about, uh, traffic cams? - Maybe we can pull a plate number.
- No.
I checked everything within a mile radius.
Nada.
Must have grabbed him in a blind spot.
Unfortunately, I think we're dealing with some pretty crafty bad guys.
MAN: I can't breathe! (GROANING, CRYING) Please don't crush him.
We've only just begun.
No.
Come on, man.
Ask us anything! (CRIES) All right.
My face how did you do it? What?! Well, the wings are one thing, but my Devil face how did you take that? We've never seen you before, man! Yeah, man.
Never heard of you before today.
I just got a name Daniel LaDoosh a pickup point, and that you got a thing for gerbils.
(CRYING) I suppose you also deny abducting Mr.
Banales and leaving him to perish in the desert, do you? He's the client from last week, man! Right, man.
His friend got him the deluxe package.
We did the detail work here, and then our partner Sam picked him up, took him to the spider hole for a few hours, and dropped him back off at the hotel.
Well, then, it seems your colleague took a detour.
Where does this Sam live? Koreatown! It's a pink building on Leeward.
- Apartment? - 5B, man! 5B! Lovely.
Thanks for your help.
Hey, man! (CRYING) Will you let us go, man? (BOTH SCREAM) ELLA: So, prints off the key chain led to Josh.
CHLOE: Right.
Tire treads on the roadkill led to nothing.
There's got to be something we're missing.
Maybe Lancaster has something.
We're screwed.
Or not.
Remember the detective who found the key chain? He doesn't exist, at least not at Lancaster PD.
They only sent patrol units to the scene.
Whoa.
You think that was our guy? Killers often return to the scene of the crime.
DAN: Which means he wasn't finding evidence.
He was trying to steal it.
Should have known.
Why should you have known? Lancaster doesn't know us, we don't know them.
Look, let's just look through these photos, try and find him in the background, okay? -Yes, and then we can nail his ass with facial recognition software.
Here he is.
But his back's to us.
You guys oh, my gosh.
I knew I knew he didn't die in vain.
- What? - Who? Leo.
See, look.
There's our suspect, right, leaving the scene, walking towards that van.
Ryuk Road Crusher tires.
Commercial grade.
That's the van that ran over Leo.
I mean, this pretty much confirms - that this guy's our killer.
- CHLOE: Okay.
So maybe we can get an ID.
Let's run the license plate.
(KNOCKING) Remember me? It's you.
Yes.
You know me as the Devil you so rudely turned into an angel and then dumped in the middle of the desert, but I don't know you, so, come on, introduce yourself.
- I'm Sam.
- Yes, yes, I know that, but what are you? And how did my Father get his hooks into you? Your father? Oh, come on, don't be coy.
Let me see.
Unless Dad got jiggy with some celestial babe after Mum, then you're not my sibling, so demon.
Hmm? Changeling? I work for an extreme kidnapping company.
Snatched.
Oh, do you now? Well, do you know what? It doesn't matter what you are because this should take care of you.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I left you in the desert.
I really am.
And I'm sorry I left that Steve guy there, too.
I He was just a routine gig.
I was gonna swap him for you, but when I went to pull you out of the van, you you had friggin' wings, man! Well, duh! Wings that you put there at the behest of my Father! - Now stop lying! - I'm not! I didn't mean to hurt anyone.
I swear.
And believe me, I didn't want to run, but you scared the hell out of me.
Right, you listen, Sammy, I know you're just the messenger, so why don't you deliver a message on my behalf? I define who I am, not Him.
Me! (CRIES) Oh, bloody hell.
They're back, aren't they? - How? - (WHOOSH) How are you doing this? Did my Father give you some kind of totem? A talisman? - What? - I'm telling you, I don't I don't know what's happening.
And I don't know your dad.
Unless, is your, is your dad the Sinnerman? Quite the opposite.
Who's the Sinnerman? That's, that's who, who hired me to kidnap you.
He's, he's, he's a scary dude.
Huge crime boss.
I owed him big time.
But because I didn't finish the job, I'm as good as dead now.
That's why I was running.
And where do I find this Sinnerman? You don't.
He finds you.
CHLOE: Lucifer? Get up.
Up.
Come on, get up.
Put your hands behind your back.
- What happened to you? - I I don't know.
Decker, it ain't good.
Lieutenant, look, I-I know what you're gonna say.
And, even though we caught our guy, Lucifer was way out of line, and I-I don't disagree, but here's what you got to know about our unorthodox methods - Detective, you - I am Lucifer's partner, yes, you're right, but you know what? He's mine, too.
And, for whatever reason, we make an effective team.
And will be even more so when I stop investing on a, um personal level.
I am here to solve crimes.
Not to see his his thing or whatever, which is not something that you need to know.
Right.
Look, point is, you can say what you want, but I know I'm a good detective and I have a damn good solve rate to prove that.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
I just came down here to let you know that your perp has been released on bail.
Oh.
W-Wait, how is that possible? Don't know.
Friends in high places, I guess.
But there's got to be something.
I mean, don't-don't you care? You do what you can, Decker.
You can't save them all.
Oh.
But, um, good luck with Lucifer's thing or whatever.
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) Oh, hello, Brother.
So, did Remedy cure what ails you? Did her massage make anything pop out? Talking about your wings, of course.
No, mine are still absent.
But yours, on the other hand (SOFTLY): Oh.
Lucifer, I'm not angry with you that you somehow got your wings back, or even that you cut them off again, as foul as that may be.
I'm angry with myself.
Because somehow I made you feel like you couldn't confide in me.
Well, comparing body parts is never good for the male ego, especially between brothers.
But that's just it, Luci.
My ego should never be an issue.
I am an angel.
A soldier of God.
His favorite son.
Oh, that's gonna be a thing, isn't it? (STIFLED LAUGH) Listen, Father, He works in mysterious ways.
I was tested once and I failed.
I'm not gonna fail again.
Because this time, I have faith.
Excellent.
And I suppose this won't bother you.
(WHOOSH) But you you cut them off.
I did, but the pesky things seem to be a bit more tenacious this time around.
Well, like I said, I have faith.
I'm sure it's all a part of God's plan.
(LAUGHING): Yes! If you mean his plan to continually manipulate and control me, then agreed.
Because, by the way, he didn't just give my wings back, he took my Devil face as well.
Luci, do you realize what this means? Perhaps Father is trying to show you that, that you've been forgiven.
What if I don't want His forgiveness? But, Brother, if you can be redeemed, that means that anyone can.
Now, isn't that divine? (SCOFFS) I'm not sure that this is divinity at work here.
(SIGHS) Have you ever heard of someone named the Sinnerman? The Sinnerman? No.
Why? That's who kidnapped me.
At first, I thought it was a an emissary on Earth working on Dad's behalf, but then, the more I think about it, the more I think maybe this isn't our Father who art in Heaven at all.
But something much, much darker.