Marvel's Avengers Assemble (2013) s03e01 Episode Script

1 WOMAN: (ON PA) Welcome to the Spartax Empire.
Please have your identification data available to scan for entry.
All hail King J'Son.
Welcome to the Spartax Empire.
Please have your ROCKET: Now I know why you've been avoiding this place, Quill.
DRAX: A long line is no reason for Quill to shun the planet of his ancestors, Rocket.
Drax has a point.
Aren't you curious to track down your father and learn your true heritage? Family reunions can wait, Gamora.
We're here to find out more about my Boom Box so we can use it to track down the Cosmic Seed.
- I am Groot.
- Huh? (BEEPS) We got a reading.
Maybe the Cosmic Seed is right here on Spartax.
(TRAVELERS EXCLAIMING) Wait! Come back here! DRAX: Cutting in line is extremely dishonorable.
- ROCKET: Yo, Quill! - I am Groot! CUSTOMS AGENT: This line is for Spartaxians only.
Where do you think you're going? I'm a Spartaxian.
Half Spartaxian.
Yeah, well, that half is not gonna wait in the giant line.
Hey, you don't want Thanos finding the Cosmic Seed first, do you? CUSTOMS AGENT: Off-worlders' line is over there.
(ALL GROAN) WOMAN: (ON PA) All fruits and vegetables must be decontaminated before entering Spartax.
(COUGHING) I am Groot.
Purpose of your visit to Spartax? Vengeance.
Are you carrying any weapons or hazardous (GRUNTS) Oh, sorry.
Force of habit.
- GUARD: Pets wait here! - Ahh! I look like a pet to you, pal? You look more like a rabid, feral, disease-infested space vermin.
But that's just my opinion.
Oh, yeah? I got your opinion right here.
(GROANS) Oh, apparently you're clumsy.
Again, just my opinion.
Now, what do we have here worth confiscating? Don't touch that! It's a pocket dimension storage vial! (GASPS) (TRAVELERS CLAMORING) You tourists know the penalty for defiling the image of King J'Son? Aw, krutack! I hate traveling.
The off-worlders have deviled the statue of our cherished leader, King J'Son! Take it easy.
It was an accident.
Rocket, apologize.
Okay, fine.
I'm sorry that you're all such flargs, especially King J'Son! Insolence! Arrest them! They do not appear to accept your apology.
(GRUNTS) Get off me! This went bad faster than usual.
I am Groot! (GRUNTING) Oh-ho! Come to papa.
(GUNS CHARGING) Hey, guys, in here! We can't fit through that.
(CHUCKLES) Not yet you can't.
GAMORA: Rocket, no! No! I am Groot! ROCKET: So long, suckers! Yee-whoo! (GRUNTS) Whoa.
That's a lot of luggage.
I am Groot.
Do not do that again.
Ever.
What? Vaporize the vandals! Except the furry one.
I want his pelt hanging on my wall.
(YELLS) What is this, a krutackin' exercise wheel? (GUARDS SCREAMING) I am Groot.
(GUARDS SCREAMING) (GROANS) (PANTING) A little help? I am Groot! Thanks, bud.
(GRUNTING) (SCREAMING) Mmm.
Oh, this dude's got an ego the size of a planet.
And I've met a planet.
The Cosmic Seed must be in that palace.
- Oh, oh! - Ah! - Gamora, where are you guys? - GAMORA: (ON COMLINK) On our way.
We had trouble getting through security.
(GASPS) MAN: Fire! Okay, everybody, don't panic.
I got this.
Ha-ha! Only a True Believer can wield such a weapon.
I'm the only one who can.
Really? Then we have much to discuss.
I am Mantis, Celestial Protegee of the Universal Believers.
Peter Quill.
Most people call me Star-Lord.
Star-Lord? You are the Star-Lord? I see you've heard of me.
Love the antennas, by the way.
There is an ancient prophecy among the Believers that the Star-Lord will return and save the galaxy.
Been there, done that.
We must get off the street at once.
It is not safe to be a Believer on Spartax.
- Come.
- Whoa! Hey! Let go! Supposed to meet my friends here.
GUARD: You there! Halt! PETER: Hey, guys.
Just doing my civic duty with this lady here Hey, where'd she go? GUARD: Where did you get that? PETER: What, this Element Blaster? Oh, um, none of your business.
Arrest him, immediately! Huh? Whoa! Come on.
There must be some mistake.
My mom gave it to me.
(BLOW LANDS) (GRUNTS) (GUARDS GRUNTING) PETER: Ow! Does the name Star-Lord mean anything to you? Star-Lord? Anything? Oh, come on.
It worked for the antenna lady.
GUARD: The king is returning to the palace soon.
He will render judgment.
This is all a big misunderstanding.
I can explain everything.
I hope so, for your sake.
The penalty for possession of royal property is death.
Don't I get, like, a lawyer or a phone call or something? Anything? (AUTOMATED VOICE ON PA) Wanted.
Fugitives.
Wanted.
Fugitives.
Wanted.
Fugitives.
Wanted.
Fugitives.
This was Quill's last location.
Quill, we are at the rendezvous.
Where are you? (BEEPING) Hold on.
I got a beat on his helmet.
This way.
- Nice toupee, by the way.
- It chafes my scalp.
As does this confounded cloth against my chest.
It's called a shirt.
A foul name for an evil garment.
ROCKET: That's this street.
Huh.
Figures.
Wouldn't be the first time we found Quill in a gutter.
I am Groot.
Quill's helmet.
He must be in trouble.
(BEEPING) I'm rewinding the visual record to show us the last thing Quill saw.
(GROANS) I think we can skip the pictures of Quill's girlfriends.
(POP MUSIC PLAYING) Quill has peculiar combat training.
It's a wonderful day ROCKET: Now we're getting somewhere.
That's it.
The last thing the helmet recorded.
If we're gonna find Quill, looks like we need to find her first.
(ALL GASP) You! What have you done with Quill? - Who? - ROCKET: Peter Quill.
Tall, hairless, ugly, usually calls himself "Star-Lord.
" Ah, so you are the friends of the Star-Lord.
I am Mantis, Celestial Protegee of the Skip the title.
Where is he? He has been taken to the king's dungeon, from where few ever return.
We must rescue him, for the prophecy foretells the fate of the galaxy hangs in the balance.
Seriously? (CHUCKLING) There's a prophecy? Around Quill? (YELPS) Can you take us there? (GROWLS) MANTIS: That tunnel services the lower levels.
The king thinks his fortress is impenetrable.
But if you are true friends to the Star-Lord, I believe we can enter.
I am Groot.
Huh? No motion sensors, laser gates, or biometric detector fields.
- So much for "impenetrable.
" - Be warned.
This palace will not give up its secrets unless you believe.
(MECHANICAL HUMMING) DRAX: Huh? I don't believe this.
We're gonna get incinerated if we stay here.
MANTIS: Not if you believe.
I am Groot.
I am Groot! I do not fear the flames.
(GRUNTS) MANTIS: The glyph controls the fire.
If you are truly friends of the Star-Lord, you can overcome all obstacles through belief.
You're talking gibberish, lady! (STRAINING) (GRUNTS) Unusual security system.
Oh, it is much more than that.
The kings of Spartax master the four elements through extensive physical training.
But the followers of the Star-Lord must master them through pure belief.
(RUMBLING) (GASPS) ROCKET: Uh, you know, you could've warned us before leading us into a death trap! (ALL YELLING) I'll deactivate the glyph.
(GRUNTS) (ALL GROANING) I'm gonna lose my lunch.
So long as you do not lose your belief.
(RUMBLING) (GASPS) GAMORA: Another glyph.
I am Groot.
ROCKET: So it's an earthglyph.
What's that mean? DRAX: It means we are about to get crushed.
I am Groot! Well, this is what we get for trusting antenna lady.
Don't question.
Believe.
I am Groot.
(CHUCKLES) Nice going.
For a minute there, I believed we was all gonna be paste.
(DRIPPING) Oh, what now? We've had fire, air, earth.
(RUMBLING) What's next? Whoa! Ow! The glyph is in the next chamber, but I cannot access it.
We have to shut off the water supply.
I cannot swim! Can't believe I'm doing this.
(GRUNTING) (ALL BREATHING HEAVILY) You must be true friends of the Star-Lord.
By virtue of belief, you have survived the tests.
DRAX: We survived thanks to our skills and teamwork.
If she wants to believe that malarkey, let her.
We gotta find Quill and get outta here.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) Who are you? How did you get down here? We are here to free the Star-Lord.
I believe you will give me the key, and leave us.
How did you do that? Still you doubt the power of belief.
Steady.
Almost there.
And Gotcha! Oh, hi, guys.
Uh, this isn't what it looks like.
I'm escaping.
Whoa! You are correct, Quill.
This does not look like escaping.
Did we really need to see ya in your boxers twice? We believed, and so you are free, great Star-Lord.
Oh, hey, it's the True Believer lady.
I believe you should put on your pants so we can get out of here.
- Eh, hold up.
My stuff's in this vault.
- I'll get it open.
Stand back.
You want to alert the whole palace? The vault will open for the Star-Lord if he believes.
Okay.
I believe I can open this vault.
(WHIRRING) (CHUCKLING) No way! It worked! I believe you are the one true Star-Lord the prophecy has foretold.
Ugh! I believe I'm gonna hurl.
Let us leave this place.
PETER: Not so fast.
That Cosmic Seed energy my Boom Box picked up, it's coming from inside the palace.
We gotta check it out.
Reading's coming from behind those doors.
Only two guards.
I wish to try this power of belief.
Halt! The king is not receiving visitors.
I believe you will let me pass! I am Groot? Nobody's home.
Let's go.
Uh I didn't do it! They don't look like they believe you.
You do not need your weapons.
The power of belief will protect you.
You are the mighty Star-Lord of prophecy, destined to rescue us from tyranny.
I believe in you.
Now you must believe in yourself.
I believe you will not harm me.
Quill, what are you doing? I am Groot? Hey, guys, it totally worked! I am Groot! Yeah.
Totally worked.
I believe the best defense is a good offense.
(GRUNTING) Finally, someone's talking sense.
(GRUNTS) Let's try a little something I call "blam in a can.
" Open wide! (YELLS) What! (BEEPING) (YELLS) Check it out.
They're leaving me alone.
Oh, you guys should really try this believing thing.
I am Groot! (COUGHING) Thanks for the save, pal.
(GRUNTS) A little help? I believe I can do that.
GAMORA: Keep doing what you're doing.
What, nothing? It's finally become an advantage.
I am Groot! (STRAINING) (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) Ha! And that's the end of Huh? Oh! Whoa! - Let go! - Drop him, big guy! Ah! (GRUNTS) Hey, I think I can control it! Do you believe it? Hey, metal man, I believe you will smash that other robot.
Oh, yes! My own giant robot! This is turning into the best day ever! (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) Who dares enter my palace? Hey! It's that dude from all the statues.
Your days as King of Spartax are numbered, J'Son.
Behold, I have brought the Star-Lord.
There is no Star-Lord.
Destroy the intruders.
I believe you can't harm me.
Take your best shot.
(BEEPING) See? Okay, metal man, blast King Jerkface.
Enough.
I'll deal with you myself.
(GUNS POWERING UP) Peter? What did you call me? Peter.
But they told me you perished.
How do you know my name? I helped Meredith pick it out.
How do you know my mother's name? Oh, really? He's your father, dummy! My ship crash-landed on Earth.
Meredith Quill found me and nursed me back to health.
We fell in love.
One thing led to another - Okay.
Enough.
- Oh, ew, ew! That's my mom you're talking about.
And that's my Element Blaster.
I left it for you.
So, if you're my dad, and you're a king, does that make me a prince? The official title is "Star-Lord.
" What a coincidence! My mom used to call me Star That's not a coincidence at all, is it? That's why you can control everything in the palace.
It's all keyed to the family DNA.
Oh.
You know, then, I should've known the whole "power of belief" thing was too good to be true.
It is true.
The false king will perish, and the Believers will rule the galaxy.
- Nobody tries to assassinate my dad.
- Take this traitor to the dungeon! So, Mantis was manipulating us just to get close enough to attack the king.
Most dishonorable.
Aw! Does this mean there's no such thing as the Star-Lord prophecy? There is if you believe there is.
Your days are numbered, false king! You cannot stop the Believers! (DOOR CLOSES) What do you have there? How did you come to possess my CryptoCube? Long story.
How come you're giving off Cosmic Seed energy? Long story, which we can share later, after I attend to some important matters of state.
I'm also curious to know how you came to associate with known criminals.
We had a little misunderstanding down at the spaceport.
Why am I not surprised? You let me handle it.
I can do that, right? Seeing as I am the Star-Lord and all? My subjects are yours to command.
Yes! I am the one true Star-Lord! Whoo! And you thought he was hard to live with before.
(BEEPING) You have been lying to me, J'Son of Spartax.
Your son is alive.
I only just found out myself, Lord Thanos.
This Star-Lord dares to defy me.
I would have his head.
He has the CryptoCube and is the only one who can use it.
We need him to find the Cosmic Seed.
Then he will remain alive only so long as he is useful.
Once Star-Lord finds the Cosmic Seed, you will deliver them both to me.
Hey, you missed a spot.
(MUTTERING) You heard the Star-Lord.
Put your backs into it! You maggots act like ya never seen soap and water in your pathetic, worthless lives! But that's just my opinion.
Got a problem with that? Talk to the prince!