Mount Pleasant (2011) s03e01 Episode Script
Season 3, Episode 1
Get back in.
Do you know how long it's taken to look this good? Exactly.
You look fantastic.
Come on! Some of us actually have to earn a living, y'know! How old do you reckon she is? Who? Tanya.
No idea.
Why? Just wondering, that's all.
Why don't you ask her? You don't ask people how old they are.
Of course you don't.
You just ask your husband to guess and get it wrong instead.
Don't be daft.
It's not a guess.
Just a reasonable calculation.
Go on.
How old? Ish? You can't use ish! That's cheating.
If I say she looks 35, I get done.
If I say she looks 45, I get done again.
How about this? She looks her age.
Whatever it might be.
Do I look my age? If I say yes, is that going to be the right answer? No.
No, then.
You look21.
Ah, at last! The right answer! He's got something right.
What a good boy.
Now will you get back in? What are you after? Nothing.
You must be after summat.
I'm not after anything.
If you think you're getting a morning jump, you can forget it.
In fact, you're getting no jumps whatsoever until I've sorted this back out.
I'll give you a lift if you like? No, you won't.
You're not well.
Honestly, I'm much better.
You should go back to bed.
You should let me give you a lift.
I'm walking with Ella.
It's fine.
Again? It's only until she settles in.
She's been "settling in" this past fortnight.
Shouldn't she be well and truly "settled in" by now? She's new.
She's nice.
I'm helping her out.
Get over it.
Just remember what I said about getting distracted.
Falling instantly in love with a girl isn't going to help your football.
Just because I'm walking her to school doesn't mean I've fallen in love.
We're not all like you, Bianca.
We don't just fall instantly in love.
It wasn't instant.
I-I-I didn't mean it like that.
I'm sorry.
Are you OK? Course I am.
I'm really much better.
I hate him, you know.
No, you don't.
No-one hates anyone in this house.
I do.
I hate Chris.
I hate what he's done and how he's done it.
Give over.
Water under the bridge, and all that.
Onwards and upwards, that's how we tick in here.
Bye.
Hiya, love.
Ella! Gary's here! How's Bianca? Is she better? It's just a cold.
Oh, poor thing.
Is she coming out tonight? Not sure.
Ella! I'll tell you what she needs.
She needs to go out and have a bit of fun.
That'll sort her right out.
Talking about me again? They keep me locked in the cellar, you know.
There's no such thing as fun in this house.
Don't give me any ideas.
For the record, coming round here and watching you lot getting smashed out of your heads isn't everyone's idea of fun.
She doesn't have to come if she's not up to it.
Yes, she does.
What do you know about fun? She folds her socks, this child.
She wants to come.
I'm just not sure she's up for it, that's all.
If she does come, you'll come too, won't you? Yeah.
Let's go! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Bye, Mum.
Bye, babe.
By the way, I'm not a child.
I sold it! No way.
Yes way.
And bought this.
Have a good day at school, kids.
Sold what? Your dad said he sold something.
Yeah? So? Sold what? Just y'know.
Stuff.
Nothing really.
Yeah, but what exactly? God.
Are you always this nosy? She must've had her young, then.
Who? Tanya.
She must've had Ella young.
Best time to have them.
What is that supposed to mean? Y'know I know what it means, all right.
That I'm old and past it.
No! We could still be young and hip parents if we get a move on at some point this millennium.
That's all.
Not again.
Not this discussion again.
You said we could talk about it.
No.
I said, after you've finished decorating, then we MIGHT talk about it.
It'll be done by Tuesday.
What about after Tenerife? You can't get on a plane preggers anyway.
We haven't even booked it yet.
You come out with such crap excuses.
Have you asked Greg yet? What? If he thinks we'll make good parents? Whether he's coming to the party tonight.
And whether he is bringing his new girlfriend! Oh, yeah.
I'll do it now.
Good.
Bye, love.
Bye.
Hiya, love.
Pauline Johnson.
Hello, Pauline.
Hiya, Margaret.
Are you well? Oh, I'm smashing, thanks.
I just like sitting in here and seeing who isn't.
That's nice, innit? She's too thin, her.
She could do with some meat on her bones.
Not her.
The marquee.
What about the marquee? Are we going to have one? Down our road? You'll be lucky if you could squeeze a two-man tent in.
We could ask our Dan if we can use his garden.
Barry'll have a heart attack.
Are you well, Charlie? Great, thanks.
Well, Pauline obviously isn't.
I'm not prying but I hope it's nothing debilitating.
Nah, it's nowt serious.
Just a bit of back trouble.
Oh good.
Well, I don't mean good about the back trouble.
I mean, good about the fact that she isn't debilitated.
I'm quite debilitated at the moment.
I'm sorry to hear that.
What's wrong, Margaret? Course.
We'll be there, mate.
OK, cool.
See you later.
Just Dan.
My third morning cuppa in one week.
You must be keen.
So it's a cup of tea that shows a boy how much a girl likes him these days, not the fact that they were awake talking all night? That wasn't talking.
What did Dan want? Just about later.
You are still coming to Tanya's party? I was going to talk to you about that No.
This sounds like a retraction of our agreement.
I know.
I'm sorry.
They just want to make sure I'm not bullshitting when I keep telling them I've pulled a total darling, that's all.
All this pressure! It's not pressure.
They're my mates, that's all.
Yeah.
One of which is best mates with your ex.
Put yourself in my shoes, Greg.
She's sound, Lisa.
And she's wise.
Like you.
She'll be cool.
I promise.
The problem with the thyroid is it's got a mind of its own.
Do you know our Rita? No.
Our Rita had a thyroid with a mind of its own and look what happened to her.
What happened? I wouldn't want to talk about someone's confidential stuff, but put it this way It's not very dignified when your colon explodes.
OK, love? That man's a genius.
Isn't he just?! He's quite sexy, I think.
He reminds me of Jon Snow.
Can we get er get going then? Bloody hell, eager beaver, slow down.
Dr Phillips said I need four days' rest and plenty of chocolate.
So think on.
Fergus, what's happening? Who the hell are they? They've shut the office.
What? I'm sorry, Lisa.
You're serious, aren't you? Totally.
But you said Blaine's were putting a bid in! They were supposed to be.
But it's all fallen through.
I'm really sorry.
Reconnect is finished.
I better call Shelley.
She already knows.
She's on her way to London.
I got a call from Jeff Slater asking for a reference.
She knew? She's supposed to be my friend.
Oh, this is fun! It's like when we used to have fire practice and miss double maths.
It's bad news, I'm afraid.
The receivers are in.
The who? Receivers.
Why are you talking like Darth Vader? What's he on about? Who are the receivers? The people that are shutting us down.
What? In there? In Reconnect? Yes, love.
Well can't we just go in and get them out again? They're not actually in there.
I thought you said they were.
You shouldn't take everything so literally.
I'm not taking anything literally.
But if they're in there, we should go and get them out.
They're not in there.
Shall we all go inside then? I've got to phone Malcolm Harris and cancel his 4.
00.
Forget about Malcolm.
I'm going home.
You can't just go home.
Well there's nothing keeping me here, is there? And I'll be damned if I'm standing here for the rest of the day pretending to give a toss about Malcolm.
Touchy cow.
She's got every right to be pissed off, now she's unemployed.
We all have.
Yeah.
Suppose we have, really, when you put it like that.
Well, if you're absolutely certain there's nothing we can do, I might go and get a coffee.
Do you fancy one? Oh, that's right.
The universe collapses to the ground and what does Denise do? She gets a cappuccino.
There's no need to be sarcastic.
And it's a gingerbread latte, idiot.
Hello? Oh, hello.
No, it's fine.
Go on.
What? We agreed no phone.
Yes.
But we didn't agree no Bianca.
Hello, my lovely.
Are you OK? OK, OK, OK.
Calm down.
Calm down.
Yes.
I'll come right over.
No.
It's fine.
Yes.
I'll be right there.
OK.
Is it OK if we stop now? If I say no will it make any difference? Intelligent and well made.
God's favourite combination.
You won't get fit if you keep running off to help everybody.
# You wanna get with me you gotta listen carefully # You got M in the place who likes it in your face Dan.
# Easy V doesn't come for free Dan! She's a real lady and as for me, you'll see Dan! Jesus Christ, woman! What are you trying to do, give me a heart attack? What have you got it on so loud for? TURNS MUSIC OFF I like it loud.
Switch it back on.
And what are you doing back anyway? Lisa? What's up? The office is shut.
And before you ask, I mean shut, shut.
As in closed.
Finished.
Doors locked.
Gone.
Oh, no.
Two of our biggest clients pulled out.
Two? And you've shut? That normally wouldn't make a difference.
But the bank foreclosed on the same afternoon.
Oh, God! Apparently it's been going on for a while but they kept us out of it.
Does Fergus know? Yeah.
Course.
Why didn't he say anything, the two-faced shit? No.
It's not his fault.
He's been trying to fix it, to be fair.
It's Shelley who's been the two-faced one.
What's she done? Gone to London.
Bloody hell! Why does everyone bugger off on me, Dan? Ah, don't say that.
And now I'm unemployed! What am I going to do? What do you think will happen to everyone? They'll be OK.
They'll get fixed up with something.
It's like you keep reminding me, it's not life and death.
It's just work.
I don't mean it doesn't matter.
I just mean it's all relative.
Like when my dad says, "If all the bin men go on strike "and all the doctors go on strike, who will we miss the most?" And my mum always says, "I don't know, Ray, I don't live near the hospital.
" And she's got a point really, hasn't she? I'm like my mum.
I take negatives as positives.
I'm thinking of it as a new start.
A positive.
Good for you.
I think I should do something that uses some of my life skills.
Something to do with mascara or singing.
Yeah.
So maybe you should do something that uses yours.
Something for just you.
Something in business.
Are you listening to me? Yeah.
Course I am.
Don't stress, Fergus.
You'll get sorted with something.
You know what you need? A good night out.
Yeah.
You're probably right.
I'm off out to the pub later to meet Lisa and Dan.
Mum's got Josh for the night so I'm going to get splattered.
You should come along.
Oh, I'm just not sure about that, Denise.
Just because we're not together any more doesn't mean we can't go out and have a good time.
It's bad enough losing a husband so young without being penalised for it.
There has to be a way around this, surely? There isn't.
It's very straightforward.
They class Jim's love of model aeroplanes as a dangerous hobby.
There's no way they're going to pay out if that's what killed him.
Are they? It's a travesty.
Can we not have hobbies any more? What about my skating or cricket? A bat can be quite a perilous object depending what you do with it, should I tell my life insurance about that? I'm going to have to sell up, Roger.
That's a bit drastic.
I've got nothing left.
The savings have almost gone.
Maybe I should get me and Gary a little flat on the other side of the precinct.
No.
You wouldn't like it there, Bianca.
There's only so many pound shops one little high street needs.
Haven't got much choice, though.
Have I? Hello! Hi, Tanya.
Gary said you're still not well.
Yuck! I'm fine.
I'll live.
It's just the sniffles.
I hope I'm not interrupting.
Hello, sir.
Roger's not a sir.
He's just a vicar.
Roger.
Oh, hello, Roger.
I'm Tanya.
You must be the young lady having the party.
Yes, that's right.
I am.
You're still coming, aren't you? Well Yes! I've called Jack.
He said it's absolutely fine.
There is no need for you to go banging on about us ruining the new paintwork.
But what's not fine is that you don't come.
She's got to come, hasn't she, Roger? It would do you good to get out of the house, don't you think? Yeah, I-I don't see it would do you any You can come too, if you like.
Oh! Thanks very much.
I know what you religious lot are like.
I was a convent girl.
You are so bloody strict.
I had to wear navy knickers on speech night.
Tanya! And they checked! Oh! See you all later.
And do shout if you need anything.
That's nice, isn't it? Lovely.
We'll have to choose one soon.
Sponge not fruit.
There.
Chosen.
And we'll have to book cars.
We can get cabs.
What about flowers? What about them? The fact that they're overpriced or the fact that me and our Dan are allergic? Maybe we should make a list.
Of what? Guests.
Our Dan.
Our Lisa.
Barry and Sue.
Rena, Reggie and Val.
There's your list.
Can I ask you something, love? If it's not about this bloody wedding, then yes.
Do you want to get married or not? Hiya, Pauline! Hiya, Charlie! Hiya, love.
What are you doing here? Not like you to be skiving.
I'm not skiving, actually.
We've had a bit of a trauma.
I take it you haven't seen Lisa? No.
Why? What's up? Maybe this is the push we need.
Who said we need a push? A push where? Our chance to do the bit for mankind.
The baby chat the other night.
It was a mention, not a chat.
Oh, God, not your mother.
Not now.
Don't say a word.
About the baby chat? About me being out of a job.
Only us! Hello.
Hiya! Unemployed, eh? Oh, this is so bad! I spent most of my working life tarting up other people's CVs and when it comes to my own I just can't do it.
Surely I've got more interests than swimming and reading? You don't swim! Does anybody, actually, really swim? You should put the truth down and say watching telly and getting pissed.
There is more to me than the goggle box and wine, thank you very much.
I'm off for a bath.
Time of the month, eh, son? No, mother.
The company she gave eight years of her life to has thrown her out on her arse this morning.
I think a little grumble is the least we can allow her.
All right, all right, keep your clackers in the sack.
Did you see that? What did I do now? I'm keeping schtum, son.
Can I ask you something? Thought you were keeping schtum? Now I've got you to myself No, I haven't got a spare tenner.
Not that.
What, then? I wanted to know if you'd be disappointed if we don't go through with it.
Me and your mother.
The wedding.
Oh, God, who've you trapped off with this time? No-one, son.
I just don't think she wants to marry me, that's all.
Course she does.
I've been dropping hints left, right and centre.
"Let's look at venues, shall we have a marquee, "how about trying some cake?" I even got a brochure but she just chucked it on the floor.
Bit extreme.
I thought you might know something Sorry, mate, I don't know a thing.
Well, maybe I'll just have to face it, then.
Maybe I'll just have to forget I even bothered asking her in the first place, maybe I should just call the whole thing off? Course she wants to marry him.
I wouldn't be too sure.
Poor bloke's been trying all week, he said she's just not interested.
Interested in what? Y'know.
Wedding stuff.
Dresses an' that.
And you're surprised by that? This is the same woman who was so interested in wedding dresses she booked a night out in Blackpool with all her mates just so she could avoid coming with me to look for mine.
OK then, venues.
He said he's even suggested a marquee.
Your mother in a marquee?! Yeah.
I know.
Do you think he's overreacting? Course he is.
Just cos she doesn't want to talk about it doesn't mean to say she doesn't want to do it.
That could sound encouraging, taken in a different context What? Babies? Very funny.
Sssh! Maybe we should just have a word with me mum? Do you want to re-phrase that? Maybe you could have a word? Please? All right, mate This is Amber.
Hi.
At last! Here she is! Well, hello! I'm Dan.
I'm Lisa.
It's lovely to meet you! You too.
What's this about you losing your job? It's not just me.
What are we all drinking? Everyone's been kicked out Pint, mate Really? JD and Coke, thanks, Dan.
Even Fergus.
And Shelley.
She knew all along, apparently.
I've been trying to call her since lunch.
You won't believe what she's done, Greg.
Hello Bianca! Hiya, cock.
I'm so pleased you've made it! Hi.
Hi.
Oh, you look fantastic.
Your hair looks amazing.
I bet you feel much better getting a shower and making a bit of effort, don't you? I do, yes.
Thanks for nagging me, Tanya.
I don't know what I would've done if you gang hadn't moved in.
I've brought you these - look! Oh great.
They're for the back garden.
Put a couple on the back step and some on the wall.
Stops people throwing dimps in the hedges.
You are telling people to smoke outside, aren't you? Yes, Bianca.
We are telling people not to smoke inside! So, Shelley left me a voicemail on Wednesday afternoon.
I didn't pick it up cos we were in Homebase choosing paint.
We're decorating.
Lovely.
Nesting, not decorating Oh, aye? That's Ignore him.
We're decorating.
So, anyway, I tried to call her back this morning but it went straight to voicemail again.
She can piss off if she thinks I'm trying again after this.
I think I am owed an explanation.
Don't you? Hi, kids.
Hello.
Evening, all.
This is my girlfriend, Amber.
Nice to meet you.
Excuse me a minute - I just need the ladies.
Is she all right? Yeah.
Apart from the fact you've mentioned Shelley's name 43 times in the last four sentences, I think she's fucking fine, thanks.
Oh shit.
Isn't that a bit loud? What? Isn't that a bit loud?! If you can't beat them, join them.
That's my motto, my lovely.
Listen, you won't be complaining about the music once you get a bit of this down you.
Oh! Some people make no effort whatsoever.
You can pick up one of those sackcloths in the Arndale for under a fiver.
Tart.
You can usually tell how fit a woman is by how much your missus thinks she's a floozy.
I'm saying nowt, mate.
Wouldn't be worth the grief.
I'm really sorry.
I didn't think.
It's OK.
I'm a big girl.
I'm sure you are, but you shouldn't have to hear about your new man's ex all night like that.
I'm so sorry.
It's really fine.
Greg's really special to me and Dan and it's really important that he's happy.
And we've not seen a grin on his face like this for ages and that's all down to you.
Hey Come on, there's a party to go to.
Should be fun.
Hi, Tanya! Hi, guys! Hi.
Hiya.
Are you sure you don't mind? No! The more the merrier! Help yourselves to drinks In there, there's plenty Ella.
Sweetie.
Will you get the drinks sorted? Oh-oh! This is my husband, Bradley.
This is Lisa's boss, Fergus.
Pleased to meet you, mate.
Pleased to meet you.
Cheers, mate Ex, actually.
Ex boss, I mean.
I thought you were going to say ex-missus then! She's my ex.
Her? She's gorgeous.
Yeah, I know.
The one that got away, eh? What will your hubby have? He's not my hubby! I didn't mean to cause offence.
Don't worry, you haven't.
And he's got a beer, by the looks of things.
Oh! You've got really amazing cheekbones.
Thank you.
Has anyone ever said you could be a model? Err no.
Well, you could.
That's really nice of you to say so, but I'm a mother.
So I come with a bit too much baggage, I'm afraid.
And I'm straight.
Oh, I don't fancy you! I'm sorry - oh, flippin' eck! It's OK.
I was just being honest.
I do a bit at weekends and after school.
Really? Wow, that's amazing.
Yeah, I know.
I've just signed up with a new agency in town.
They'd love you.
You should give them a call.
Gary, are you hungry, love? No, thanks.
Ella! Ella! Go and get that plate of prawns from the kitchen.
Hand them out to these lot, they look emaciated.
Are you sure that's a good idea? The last thing you want is dipping sauce all over the rug.
Are you thirsty, then? You must be thirsty? No, thanks.
He's fine, Mum.
Ah.
So she does acknowledge my existence? You came to our party.
How could I not? FIFA 13? Now you're talking.
Excuse me! Where do you think you're going, young lady? Gary's.
And what do you think your father's going to say about that? Give it a rest, mum.
Gary.
If Tanya doesn't want you to go to our house then maybe it's best if you stay here.
She's been ignoring me all day at school.
Chill your boots.
He's already reassured me that it's purely platonic.
And I do trust him, actually.
I don't trust her.
It only feels like ten minutes ago since I was first at it and I was a lot younger than that.
Oh so sorry! It's OK.
It's nothing Oh, no.
It's not OK No, no.
It's fine! Really, it's my fault, really.
Sorry, everyone, it was my fault.
Don't move! Bianca! Bianca! Bianca, really, it's OK.
No, it's not OK! This is a brand-new rug! What is the matter with you? This is my house, for God's sake.
But I promised Jack I'd keep my eye on it While it was empty, yeah.
While that other fella was here, fair enough.
But just cos he was a dickhead doesn't make me one, thank you very much.
I have called Jack and he agrees your home-watching duties are well and truly over.
Now back off! Hi.
D'you want one? No, ta.
Stunts your growth.
Spare me the lecture, please.
Sorry.
I was just trying to lighten the tone.
Thought after Bianca nagging, you could do with me nagging too.
She's gone home, hasn't she? Yeah.
I think Lisa's gone with her.
You're nice people.
I know we've only been here a couple of weeks but I really felt like we were starting to settle in.
I hope I haven't gone and messed it all up.
No way have you.
I didn't bank on Mrs Partypooper being quite so keen.
Bianca's had a rough time.
She doesn't mean any of this, I promise.
She'll chill out eventually.
Is this smoker's corner? Yes, love.
Thank God for that.
What was he like, the fella here before? Chris? He was all right.
Oh, come on, Dan.
Let's not mince words.
He was a complete and utter bastard.
So why did he dump her? He didn't dump her.
He went back to his wife.
So he did dump her? It wasn't like that.
Hmm, it never is.
I actually thought she was moving on from all this nonsense.
But listen.
If you can keep this to yourselves, it's not just Chris bothering her.
What now? She got a call from Jim's life insurance this morning.
They're not paying out.
Saying it was his fault.
Technically it wasn't an accident.
Shit.
Poor Bianca.
Poor Tanya, more like.
I feel a right old bitch now.
I suppose I better see if she's OK.
That's some height they've shat on you from, though, eh? It's business, pal.
What can you do? True.
I was in the recruitment game myself for a little while.
You'll know all about it, then.
Early '90s.
Drivers and that.
Moved onto doormen but it all got a bit on top.
You know the score Yeah So what's next, then? Got a call this afternoon, actually.
They asked me if I was interested in managing a start-up company over in St Helens.
Need any office furniture? Might do in a couple of weeks.
I know someone.
He's got a warehouse full of the stuff.
Makes a bomb.
Need any E's? Not right at this minute, mate, no.
If you ever do, I know someone that's got some of those as well.
Fantastic.
And if you ever need a woman? Don't tell me you know someone? What's your type? Not your normal type.
Your fantasy type.
Go on.
Trust me! Big tits, and a foreign accent.
I was joking.
I don't know anyone that can get you any of those.
I just like knowing what makes people tick.
I like you, mate.
You're all right.
And if you want my advice, fuck starting up something up for someone else.
You want to start something up for yourself, for a change.
You must have the contacts, right? Yeah.
I have.
And you've got to admit working for yourself is where the real money is? Do you mind if we get going? They're not that bad, surely? Your friends? They're great, actually.
I'm just tired.
I shouldn't be such a busybody.
You are not a busybody! You are a lovely lady trying to do a nice job to help her neighbour.
That's all.
Hello Hi.
I brought a peace offering I'm sorry I went on at you Hang on a minute.
I shouldn't have snapped at you.
I was totally out of order.
Opening my mouth was such a bad move.
I'm really very sorry.
It's really OK.
Oh! I'm going shopping to Liverpool tomorrow, why don't you come with me? Bradley can pay.
That's lovely.
I'd really like that, actually.
And you, Lisa? Do you want to come too? We could have a proper girly lunch.
Don't feel obliged just cos I'm here.
Shut up! I don't.
I want you to come.
So do I, Lisa.
A girly lunch is just what I need.
Me too, actually.
Fantastic! Cheers! So I'm snappy sometimes.
I'm a girl, it's part of the gig.
And I'm nosy sometimes.
We all have our flaws.
It's just Dad.
It's just what he does.
He sold a Rolex.
That's all it was.
It's none of my business Something happened a couple of years ago, that's all.
With money.
They nearly broke up.
Shit.
Mum made me feel like it was all my fault.
She can be a bit like that sometimes.
It must be miles easier for you.
Just you and Bianca.
Still, rather have my dad around, thanks.
Oh, no.
I didn't mean it like that.
It's OK.
You must miss him? And my mum, yeah.
Don't you want to move back in with her? Not down south, no.
I love it here.
This is home.
And I love Bianca.
That's really sweet.
What? Nothing.
You're just dead pretty.
Thanks.
What's up? I just don't think it's a good idea, that's all.
Don't you like me? Course I like you.
Well, what? Look, just trust me on this one.
What d'you reckon? Tequila! You're not going, are you? My taxi's here.
Are you still OK to pick Josh up on Tuesday? Can I come with you? Me head's banging.
The old charmer.
He'd chat up a fucking goose if it had half a decent cleavage and some red lippy on.
Give over.
He's way out of her league.
She's got four kids to six different dads, that one.
I've been watching him.
He's never changed.
He never will.
Are you bloody mad? Of course he's changed.
He loves you more than anything, that man.
It's you that's changed, Pauline.
Pardon? He thinks you don't want to marry him.
Course I want to marry him.
He told Dan, you won't even entertain the idea of booking the church.
But I don't want a church! And I don't want a big dress.
He keeps going on about flowers and bloody cars.
I'm not interested in any of that, Lisa.
I just want a little do with you and our Dan and a few lagers.
Shouldn't you be telling him all this - not me? You're right.
Come on, lightweight.
Home time, I think.
Thank you.
See you later.
Bye.
I was listening to you this morning, y'know, in the cafe.
Were you? When you were talking about me having a business brain.
And how you think I should use it.
Flippin' eck, you really were listening.
Well, I'm going to start using it.
I'm going to start my own business, Denise.
That's brilliant, Fergus.
Watch your back, Lord Sugar.
The Fergusmeister is pulling into the station and he's got a one-way ticket to Vegas.
So did you ask her how old she is, then? Who? Tanya.
When you were outside talking.
Oh, yeah.
Course I did.
And what was the answer? 52? We were talking about Bianca, if you must know.
Roger was telling us about Jim's life insurance.
What about it? They told her it's invalid.
She's not getting a penny.
No! You think we're skint? She's going to be brassic.
We're not going to be skint, us.
Not with that contract you've got coming through.
And you know what? You might be right.
It could be a good time to start thinking about having kids while we are still able.
Might be nice to have someone to go shopping with when I'm in me sixties.
And you could have someone to help you with the kitchen when you're 89.
Might not be the best idea to start right now, though.
What are you doing? Stop it.
.
.
I haven't got a job to go to No.
You haven't.
So, get yourself back in here.
What - can - I - get - you? You took the job? You and Dan.
You're coming to ours for dinner.
Seven o'clock - don't be late.
.
.
I've signed up with a modelling agency.
Said I had "a complexion like a pineapple.
" I may have asked a certain someone out Ohh! I haven't touched that shit for years! Even if I still did, you could hardly call that much "personal use", could you? What's all this then? A date? No.
Yeah.
Why don't you come in? You look like you could do with a bit.
Do you know how long it's taken to look this good? Exactly.
You look fantastic.
Come on! Some of us actually have to earn a living, y'know! How old do you reckon she is? Who? Tanya.
No idea.
Why? Just wondering, that's all.
Why don't you ask her? You don't ask people how old they are.
Of course you don't.
You just ask your husband to guess and get it wrong instead.
Don't be daft.
It's not a guess.
Just a reasonable calculation.
Go on.
How old? Ish? You can't use ish! That's cheating.
If I say she looks 35, I get done.
If I say she looks 45, I get done again.
How about this? She looks her age.
Whatever it might be.
Do I look my age? If I say yes, is that going to be the right answer? No.
No, then.
You look21.
Ah, at last! The right answer! He's got something right.
What a good boy.
Now will you get back in? What are you after? Nothing.
You must be after summat.
I'm not after anything.
If you think you're getting a morning jump, you can forget it.
In fact, you're getting no jumps whatsoever until I've sorted this back out.
I'll give you a lift if you like? No, you won't.
You're not well.
Honestly, I'm much better.
You should go back to bed.
You should let me give you a lift.
I'm walking with Ella.
It's fine.
Again? It's only until she settles in.
She's been "settling in" this past fortnight.
Shouldn't she be well and truly "settled in" by now? She's new.
She's nice.
I'm helping her out.
Get over it.
Just remember what I said about getting distracted.
Falling instantly in love with a girl isn't going to help your football.
Just because I'm walking her to school doesn't mean I've fallen in love.
We're not all like you, Bianca.
We don't just fall instantly in love.
It wasn't instant.
I-I-I didn't mean it like that.
I'm sorry.
Are you OK? Course I am.
I'm really much better.
I hate him, you know.
No, you don't.
No-one hates anyone in this house.
I do.
I hate Chris.
I hate what he's done and how he's done it.
Give over.
Water under the bridge, and all that.
Onwards and upwards, that's how we tick in here.
Bye.
Hiya, love.
Ella! Gary's here! How's Bianca? Is she better? It's just a cold.
Oh, poor thing.
Is she coming out tonight? Not sure.
Ella! I'll tell you what she needs.
She needs to go out and have a bit of fun.
That'll sort her right out.
Talking about me again? They keep me locked in the cellar, you know.
There's no such thing as fun in this house.
Don't give me any ideas.
For the record, coming round here and watching you lot getting smashed out of your heads isn't everyone's idea of fun.
She doesn't have to come if she's not up to it.
Yes, she does.
What do you know about fun? She folds her socks, this child.
She wants to come.
I'm just not sure she's up for it, that's all.
If she does come, you'll come too, won't you? Yeah.
Let's go! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Bye, Mum.
Bye, babe.
By the way, I'm not a child.
I sold it! No way.
Yes way.
And bought this.
Have a good day at school, kids.
Sold what? Your dad said he sold something.
Yeah? So? Sold what? Just y'know.
Stuff.
Nothing really.
Yeah, but what exactly? God.
Are you always this nosy? She must've had her young, then.
Who? Tanya.
She must've had Ella young.
Best time to have them.
What is that supposed to mean? Y'know I know what it means, all right.
That I'm old and past it.
No! We could still be young and hip parents if we get a move on at some point this millennium.
That's all.
Not again.
Not this discussion again.
You said we could talk about it.
No.
I said, after you've finished decorating, then we MIGHT talk about it.
It'll be done by Tuesday.
What about after Tenerife? You can't get on a plane preggers anyway.
We haven't even booked it yet.
You come out with such crap excuses.
Have you asked Greg yet? What? If he thinks we'll make good parents? Whether he's coming to the party tonight.
And whether he is bringing his new girlfriend! Oh, yeah.
I'll do it now.
Good.
Bye, love.
Bye.
Hiya, love.
Pauline Johnson.
Hello, Pauline.
Hiya, Margaret.
Are you well? Oh, I'm smashing, thanks.
I just like sitting in here and seeing who isn't.
That's nice, innit? She's too thin, her.
She could do with some meat on her bones.
Not her.
The marquee.
What about the marquee? Are we going to have one? Down our road? You'll be lucky if you could squeeze a two-man tent in.
We could ask our Dan if we can use his garden.
Barry'll have a heart attack.
Are you well, Charlie? Great, thanks.
Well, Pauline obviously isn't.
I'm not prying but I hope it's nothing debilitating.
Nah, it's nowt serious.
Just a bit of back trouble.
Oh good.
Well, I don't mean good about the back trouble.
I mean, good about the fact that she isn't debilitated.
I'm quite debilitated at the moment.
I'm sorry to hear that.
What's wrong, Margaret? Course.
We'll be there, mate.
OK, cool.
See you later.
Just Dan.
My third morning cuppa in one week.
You must be keen.
So it's a cup of tea that shows a boy how much a girl likes him these days, not the fact that they were awake talking all night? That wasn't talking.
What did Dan want? Just about later.
You are still coming to Tanya's party? I was going to talk to you about that No.
This sounds like a retraction of our agreement.
I know.
I'm sorry.
They just want to make sure I'm not bullshitting when I keep telling them I've pulled a total darling, that's all.
All this pressure! It's not pressure.
They're my mates, that's all.
Yeah.
One of which is best mates with your ex.
Put yourself in my shoes, Greg.
She's sound, Lisa.
And she's wise.
Like you.
She'll be cool.
I promise.
The problem with the thyroid is it's got a mind of its own.
Do you know our Rita? No.
Our Rita had a thyroid with a mind of its own and look what happened to her.
What happened? I wouldn't want to talk about someone's confidential stuff, but put it this way It's not very dignified when your colon explodes.
OK, love? That man's a genius.
Isn't he just?! He's quite sexy, I think.
He reminds me of Jon Snow.
Can we get er get going then? Bloody hell, eager beaver, slow down.
Dr Phillips said I need four days' rest and plenty of chocolate.
So think on.
Fergus, what's happening? Who the hell are they? They've shut the office.
What? I'm sorry, Lisa.
You're serious, aren't you? Totally.
But you said Blaine's were putting a bid in! They were supposed to be.
But it's all fallen through.
I'm really sorry.
Reconnect is finished.
I better call Shelley.
She already knows.
She's on her way to London.
I got a call from Jeff Slater asking for a reference.
She knew? She's supposed to be my friend.
Oh, this is fun! It's like when we used to have fire practice and miss double maths.
It's bad news, I'm afraid.
The receivers are in.
The who? Receivers.
Why are you talking like Darth Vader? What's he on about? Who are the receivers? The people that are shutting us down.
What? In there? In Reconnect? Yes, love.
Well can't we just go in and get them out again? They're not actually in there.
I thought you said they were.
You shouldn't take everything so literally.
I'm not taking anything literally.
But if they're in there, we should go and get them out.
They're not in there.
Shall we all go inside then? I've got to phone Malcolm Harris and cancel his 4.
00.
Forget about Malcolm.
I'm going home.
You can't just go home.
Well there's nothing keeping me here, is there? And I'll be damned if I'm standing here for the rest of the day pretending to give a toss about Malcolm.
Touchy cow.
She's got every right to be pissed off, now she's unemployed.
We all have.
Yeah.
Suppose we have, really, when you put it like that.
Well, if you're absolutely certain there's nothing we can do, I might go and get a coffee.
Do you fancy one? Oh, that's right.
The universe collapses to the ground and what does Denise do? She gets a cappuccino.
There's no need to be sarcastic.
And it's a gingerbread latte, idiot.
Hello? Oh, hello.
No, it's fine.
Go on.
What? We agreed no phone.
Yes.
But we didn't agree no Bianca.
Hello, my lovely.
Are you OK? OK, OK, OK.
Calm down.
Calm down.
Yes.
I'll come right over.
No.
It's fine.
Yes.
I'll be right there.
OK.
Is it OK if we stop now? If I say no will it make any difference? Intelligent and well made.
God's favourite combination.
You won't get fit if you keep running off to help everybody.
# You wanna get with me you gotta listen carefully # You got M in the place who likes it in your face Dan.
# Easy V doesn't come for free Dan! She's a real lady and as for me, you'll see Dan! Jesus Christ, woman! What are you trying to do, give me a heart attack? What have you got it on so loud for? TURNS MUSIC OFF I like it loud.
Switch it back on.
And what are you doing back anyway? Lisa? What's up? The office is shut.
And before you ask, I mean shut, shut.
As in closed.
Finished.
Doors locked.
Gone.
Oh, no.
Two of our biggest clients pulled out.
Two? And you've shut? That normally wouldn't make a difference.
But the bank foreclosed on the same afternoon.
Oh, God! Apparently it's been going on for a while but they kept us out of it.
Does Fergus know? Yeah.
Course.
Why didn't he say anything, the two-faced shit? No.
It's not his fault.
He's been trying to fix it, to be fair.
It's Shelley who's been the two-faced one.
What's she done? Gone to London.
Bloody hell! Why does everyone bugger off on me, Dan? Ah, don't say that.
And now I'm unemployed! What am I going to do? What do you think will happen to everyone? They'll be OK.
They'll get fixed up with something.
It's like you keep reminding me, it's not life and death.
It's just work.
I don't mean it doesn't matter.
I just mean it's all relative.
Like when my dad says, "If all the bin men go on strike "and all the doctors go on strike, who will we miss the most?" And my mum always says, "I don't know, Ray, I don't live near the hospital.
" And she's got a point really, hasn't she? I'm like my mum.
I take negatives as positives.
I'm thinking of it as a new start.
A positive.
Good for you.
I think I should do something that uses some of my life skills.
Something to do with mascara or singing.
Yeah.
So maybe you should do something that uses yours.
Something for just you.
Something in business.
Are you listening to me? Yeah.
Course I am.
Don't stress, Fergus.
You'll get sorted with something.
You know what you need? A good night out.
Yeah.
You're probably right.
I'm off out to the pub later to meet Lisa and Dan.
Mum's got Josh for the night so I'm going to get splattered.
You should come along.
Oh, I'm just not sure about that, Denise.
Just because we're not together any more doesn't mean we can't go out and have a good time.
It's bad enough losing a husband so young without being penalised for it.
There has to be a way around this, surely? There isn't.
It's very straightforward.
They class Jim's love of model aeroplanes as a dangerous hobby.
There's no way they're going to pay out if that's what killed him.
Are they? It's a travesty.
Can we not have hobbies any more? What about my skating or cricket? A bat can be quite a perilous object depending what you do with it, should I tell my life insurance about that? I'm going to have to sell up, Roger.
That's a bit drastic.
I've got nothing left.
The savings have almost gone.
Maybe I should get me and Gary a little flat on the other side of the precinct.
No.
You wouldn't like it there, Bianca.
There's only so many pound shops one little high street needs.
Haven't got much choice, though.
Have I? Hello! Hi, Tanya.
Gary said you're still not well.
Yuck! I'm fine.
I'll live.
It's just the sniffles.
I hope I'm not interrupting.
Hello, sir.
Roger's not a sir.
He's just a vicar.
Roger.
Oh, hello, Roger.
I'm Tanya.
You must be the young lady having the party.
Yes, that's right.
I am.
You're still coming, aren't you? Well Yes! I've called Jack.
He said it's absolutely fine.
There is no need for you to go banging on about us ruining the new paintwork.
But what's not fine is that you don't come.
She's got to come, hasn't she, Roger? It would do you good to get out of the house, don't you think? Yeah, I-I don't see it would do you any You can come too, if you like.
Oh! Thanks very much.
I know what you religious lot are like.
I was a convent girl.
You are so bloody strict.
I had to wear navy knickers on speech night.
Tanya! And they checked! Oh! See you all later.
And do shout if you need anything.
That's nice, isn't it? Lovely.
We'll have to choose one soon.
Sponge not fruit.
There.
Chosen.
And we'll have to book cars.
We can get cabs.
What about flowers? What about them? The fact that they're overpriced or the fact that me and our Dan are allergic? Maybe we should make a list.
Of what? Guests.
Our Dan.
Our Lisa.
Barry and Sue.
Rena, Reggie and Val.
There's your list.
Can I ask you something, love? If it's not about this bloody wedding, then yes.
Do you want to get married or not? Hiya, Pauline! Hiya, Charlie! Hiya, love.
What are you doing here? Not like you to be skiving.
I'm not skiving, actually.
We've had a bit of a trauma.
I take it you haven't seen Lisa? No.
Why? What's up? Maybe this is the push we need.
Who said we need a push? A push where? Our chance to do the bit for mankind.
The baby chat the other night.
It was a mention, not a chat.
Oh, God, not your mother.
Not now.
Don't say a word.
About the baby chat? About me being out of a job.
Only us! Hello.
Hiya! Unemployed, eh? Oh, this is so bad! I spent most of my working life tarting up other people's CVs and when it comes to my own I just can't do it.
Surely I've got more interests than swimming and reading? You don't swim! Does anybody, actually, really swim? You should put the truth down and say watching telly and getting pissed.
There is more to me than the goggle box and wine, thank you very much.
I'm off for a bath.
Time of the month, eh, son? No, mother.
The company she gave eight years of her life to has thrown her out on her arse this morning.
I think a little grumble is the least we can allow her.
All right, all right, keep your clackers in the sack.
Did you see that? What did I do now? I'm keeping schtum, son.
Can I ask you something? Thought you were keeping schtum? Now I've got you to myself No, I haven't got a spare tenner.
Not that.
What, then? I wanted to know if you'd be disappointed if we don't go through with it.
Me and your mother.
The wedding.
Oh, God, who've you trapped off with this time? No-one, son.
I just don't think she wants to marry me, that's all.
Course she does.
I've been dropping hints left, right and centre.
"Let's look at venues, shall we have a marquee, "how about trying some cake?" I even got a brochure but she just chucked it on the floor.
Bit extreme.
I thought you might know something Sorry, mate, I don't know a thing.
Well, maybe I'll just have to face it, then.
Maybe I'll just have to forget I even bothered asking her in the first place, maybe I should just call the whole thing off? Course she wants to marry him.
I wouldn't be too sure.
Poor bloke's been trying all week, he said she's just not interested.
Interested in what? Y'know.
Wedding stuff.
Dresses an' that.
And you're surprised by that? This is the same woman who was so interested in wedding dresses she booked a night out in Blackpool with all her mates just so she could avoid coming with me to look for mine.
OK then, venues.
He said he's even suggested a marquee.
Your mother in a marquee?! Yeah.
I know.
Do you think he's overreacting? Course he is.
Just cos she doesn't want to talk about it doesn't mean to say she doesn't want to do it.
That could sound encouraging, taken in a different context What? Babies? Very funny.
Sssh! Maybe we should just have a word with me mum? Do you want to re-phrase that? Maybe you could have a word? Please? All right, mate This is Amber.
Hi.
At last! Here she is! Well, hello! I'm Dan.
I'm Lisa.
It's lovely to meet you! You too.
What's this about you losing your job? It's not just me.
What are we all drinking? Everyone's been kicked out Pint, mate Really? JD and Coke, thanks, Dan.
Even Fergus.
And Shelley.
She knew all along, apparently.
I've been trying to call her since lunch.
You won't believe what she's done, Greg.
Hello Bianca! Hiya, cock.
I'm so pleased you've made it! Hi.
Hi.
Oh, you look fantastic.
Your hair looks amazing.
I bet you feel much better getting a shower and making a bit of effort, don't you? I do, yes.
Thanks for nagging me, Tanya.
I don't know what I would've done if you gang hadn't moved in.
I've brought you these - look! Oh great.
They're for the back garden.
Put a couple on the back step and some on the wall.
Stops people throwing dimps in the hedges.
You are telling people to smoke outside, aren't you? Yes, Bianca.
We are telling people not to smoke inside! So, Shelley left me a voicemail on Wednesday afternoon.
I didn't pick it up cos we were in Homebase choosing paint.
We're decorating.
Lovely.
Nesting, not decorating Oh, aye? That's Ignore him.
We're decorating.
So, anyway, I tried to call her back this morning but it went straight to voicemail again.
She can piss off if she thinks I'm trying again after this.
I think I am owed an explanation.
Don't you? Hi, kids.
Hello.
Evening, all.
This is my girlfriend, Amber.
Nice to meet you.
Excuse me a minute - I just need the ladies.
Is she all right? Yeah.
Apart from the fact you've mentioned Shelley's name 43 times in the last four sentences, I think she's fucking fine, thanks.
Oh shit.
Isn't that a bit loud? What? Isn't that a bit loud?! If you can't beat them, join them.
That's my motto, my lovely.
Listen, you won't be complaining about the music once you get a bit of this down you.
Oh! Some people make no effort whatsoever.
You can pick up one of those sackcloths in the Arndale for under a fiver.
Tart.
You can usually tell how fit a woman is by how much your missus thinks she's a floozy.
I'm saying nowt, mate.
Wouldn't be worth the grief.
I'm really sorry.
I didn't think.
It's OK.
I'm a big girl.
I'm sure you are, but you shouldn't have to hear about your new man's ex all night like that.
I'm so sorry.
It's really fine.
Greg's really special to me and Dan and it's really important that he's happy.
And we've not seen a grin on his face like this for ages and that's all down to you.
Hey Come on, there's a party to go to.
Should be fun.
Hi, Tanya! Hi, guys! Hi.
Hiya.
Are you sure you don't mind? No! The more the merrier! Help yourselves to drinks In there, there's plenty Ella.
Sweetie.
Will you get the drinks sorted? Oh-oh! This is my husband, Bradley.
This is Lisa's boss, Fergus.
Pleased to meet you, mate.
Pleased to meet you.
Cheers, mate Ex, actually.
Ex boss, I mean.
I thought you were going to say ex-missus then! She's my ex.
Her? She's gorgeous.
Yeah, I know.
The one that got away, eh? What will your hubby have? He's not my hubby! I didn't mean to cause offence.
Don't worry, you haven't.
And he's got a beer, by the looks of things.
Oh! You've got really amazing cheekbones.
Thank you.
Has anyone ever said you could be a model? Err no.
Well, you could.
That's really nice of you to say so, but I'm a mother.
So I come with a bit too much baggage, I'm afraid.
And I'm straight.
Oh, I don't fancy you! I'm sorry - oh, flippin' eck! It's OK.
I was just being honest.
I do a bit at weekends and after school.
Really? Wow, that's amazing.
Yeah, I know.
I've just signed up with a new agency in town.
They'd love you.
You should give them a call.
Gary, are you hungry, love? No, thanks.
Ella! Ella! Go and get that plate of prawns from the kitchen.
Hand them out to these lot, they look emaciated.
Are you sure that's a good idea? The last thing you want is dipping sauce all over the rug.
Are you thirsty, then? You must be thirsty? No, thanks.
He's fine, Mum.
Ah.
So she does acknowledge my existence? You came to our party.
How could I not? FIFA 13? Now you're talking.
Excuse me! Where do you think you're going, young lady? Gary's.
And what do you think your father's going to say about that? Give it a rest, mum.
Gary.
If Tanya doesn't want you to go to our house then maybe it's best if you stay here.
She's been ignoring me all day at school.
Chill your boots.
He's already reassured me that it's purely platonic.
And I do trust him, actually.
I don't trust her.
It only feels like ten minutes ago since I was first at it and I was a lot younger than that.
Oh so sorry! It's OK.
It's nothing Oh, no.
It's not OK No, no.
It's fine! Really, it's my fault, really.
Sorry, everyone, it was my fault.
Don't move! Bianca! Bianca! Bianca, really, it's OK.
No, it's not OK! This is a brand-new rug! What is the matter with you? This is my house, for God's sake.
But I promised Jack I'd keep my eye on it While it was empty, yeah.
While that other fella was here, fair enough.
But just cos he was a dickhead doesn't make me one, thank you very much.
I have called Jack and he agrees your home-watching duties are well and truly over.
Now back off! Hi.
D'you want one? No, ta.
Stunts your growth.
Spare me the lecture, please.
Sorry.
I was just trying to lighten the tone.
Thought after Bianca nagging, you could do with me nagging too.
She's gone home, hasn't she? Yeah.
I think Lisa's gone with her.
You're nice people.
I know we've only been here a couple of weeks but I really felt like we were starting to settle in.
I hope I haven't gone and messed it all up.
No way have you.
I didn't bank on Mrs Partypooper being quite so keen.
Bianca's had a rough time.
She doesn't mean any of this, I promise.
She'll chill out eventually.
Is this smoker's corner? Yes, love.
Thank God for that.
What was he like, the fella here before? Chris? He was all right.
Oh, come on, Dan.
Let's not mince words.
He was a complete and utter bastard.
So why did he dump her? He didn't dump her.
He went back to his wife.
So he did dump her? It wasn't like that.
Hmm, it never is.
I actually thought she was moving on from all this nonsense.
But listen.
If you can keep this to yourselves, it's not just Chris bothering her.
What now? She got a call from Jim's life insurance this morning.
They're not paying out.
Saying it was his fault.
Technically it wasn't an accident.
Shit.
Poor Bianca.
Poor Tanya, more like.
I feel a right old bitch now.
I suppose I better see if she's OK.
That's some height they've shat on you from, though, eh? It's business, pal.
What can you do? True.
I was in the recruitment game myself for a little while.
You'll know all about it, then.
Early '90s.
Drivers and that.
Moved onto doormen but it all got a bit on top.
You know the score Yeah So what's next, then? Got a call this afternoon, actually.
They asked me if I was interested in managing a start-up company over in St Helens.
Need any office furniture? Might do in a couple of weeks.
I know someone.
He's got a warehouse full of the stuff.
Makes a bomb.
Need any E's? Not right at this minute, mate, no.
If you ever do, I know someone that's got some of those as well.
Fantastic.
And if you ever need a woman? Don't tell me you know someone? What's your type? Not your normal type.
Your fantasy type.
Go on.
Trust me! Big tits, and a foreign accent.
I was joking.
I don't know anyone that can get you any of those.
I just like knowing what makes people tick.
I like you, mate.
You're all right.
And if you want my advice, fuck starting up something up for someone else.
You want to start something up for yourself, for a change.
You must have the contacts, right? Yeah.
I have.
And you've got to admit working for yourself is where the real money is? Do you mind if we get going? They're not that bad, surely? Your friends? They're great, actually.
I'm just tired.
I shouldn't be such a busybody.
You are not a busybody! You are a lovely lady trying to do a nice job to help her neighbour.
That's all.
Hello Hi.
I brought a peace offering I'm sorry I went on at you Hang on a minute.
I shouldn't have snapped at you.
I was totally out of order.
Opening my mouth was such a bad move.
I'm really very sorry.
It's really OK.
Oh! I'm going shopping to Liverpool tomorrow, why don't you come with me? Bradley can pay.
That's lovely.
I'd really like that, actually.
And you, Lisa? Do you want to come too? We could have a proper girly lunch.
Don't feel obliged just cos I'm here.
Shut up! I don't.
I want you to come.
So do I, Lisa.
A girly lunch is just what I need.
Me too, actually.
Fantastic! Cheers! So I'm snappy sometimes.
I'm a girl, it's part of the gig.
And I'm nosy sometimes.
We all have our flaws.
It's just Dad.
It's just what he does.
He sold a Rolex.
That's all it was.
It's none of my business Something happened a couple of years ago, that's all.
With money.
They nearly broke up.
Shit.
Mum made me feel like it was all my fault.
She can be a bit like that sometimes.
It must be miles easier for you.
Just you and Bianca.
Still, rather have my dad around, thanks.
Oh, no.
I didn't mean it like that.
It's OK.
You must miss him? And my mum, yeah.
Don't you want to move back in with her? Not down south, no.
I love it here.
This is home.
And I love Bianca.
That's really sweet.
What? Nothing.
You're just dead pretty.
Thanks.
What's up? I just don't think it's a good idea, that's all.
Don't you like me? Course I like you.
Well, what? Look, just trust me on this one.
What d'you reckon? Tequila! You're not going, are you? My taxi's here.
Are you still OK to pick Josh up on Tuesday? Can I come with you? Me head's banging.
The old charmer.
He'd chat up a fucking goose if it had half a decent cleavage and some red lippy on.
Give over.
He's way out of her league.
She's got four kids to six different dads, that one.
I've been watching him.
He's never changed.
He never will.
Are you bloody mad? Of course he's changed.
He loves you more than anything, that man.
It's you that's changed, Pauline.
Pardon? He thinks you don't want to marry him.
Course I want to marry him.
He told Dan, you won't even entertain the idea of booking the church.
But I don't want a church! And I don't want a big dress.
He keeps going on about flowers and bloody cars.
I'm not interested in any of that, Lisa.
I just want a little do with you and our Dan and a few lagers.
Shouldn't you be telling him all this - not me? You're right.
Come on, lightweight.
Home time, I think.
Thank you.
See you later.
Bye.
I was listening to you this morning, y'know, in the cafe.
Were you? When you were talking about me having a business brain.
And how you think I should use it.
Flippin' eck, you really were listening.
Well, I'm going to start using it.
I'm going to start my own business, Denise.
That's brilliant, Fergus.
Watch your back, Lord Sugar.
The Fergusmeister is pulling into the station and he's got a one-way ticket to Vegas.
So did you ask her how old she is, then? Who? Tanya.
When you were outside talking.
Oh, yeah.
Course I did.
And what was the answer? 52? We were talking about Bianca, if you must know.
Roger was telling us about Jim's life insurance.
What about it? They told her it's invalid.
She's not getting a penny.
No! You think we're skint? She's going to be brassic.
We're not going to be skint, us.
Not with that contract you've got coming through.
And you know what? You might be right.
It could be a good time to start thinking about having kids while we are still able.
Might be nice to have someone to go shopping with when I'm in me sixties.
And you could have someone to help you with the kitchen when you're 89.
Might not be the best idea to start right now, though.
What are you doing? Stop it.
.
.
I haven't got a job to go to No.
You haven't.
So, get yourself back in here.
What - can - I - get - you? You took the job? You and Dan.
You're coming to ours for dinner.
Seven o'clock - don't be late.
.
.
I've signed up with a modelling agency.
Said I had "a complexion like a pineapple.
" I may have asked a certain someone out Ohh! I haven't touched that shit for years! Even if I still did, you could hardly call that much "personal use", could you? What's all this then? A date? No.
Yeah.
Why don't you come in? You look like you could do with a bit.