Mr Pickles (2013) s03e01 Episode Script
Brain Download
1 Previously on "Mr.
Pickles" GRANDPA: It's Steve in the picture! - Who? - You know, Steve, the guardian of Mr.
Pickles' lair.
Ugh! Aah! My wife, Agnes, passed away years ago.
- Where is she? - Aah! An underground city? - Mr.
Pickles! - Ah! Where's Agnes?! Hello, Henry.
Aah! [GRUNTS.]
Aah! No, Agnes, get off of me! I told you, my name is Steve, and where do you think you're going, Henry?! [BARKS.]
To tell everybody the truth! [BOTH BARKING.]
[PANTING.]
Everybody, you're not gonna believe this, but Dad, wait! You're not gonna believe this.
- Wha - Mom is alive! Mr.
Pickles Good boy Dog People's best friend Die Pickles Mr.
Pickles! Here he comes There you are! Mr.
Pickles Good boy! S03E01 Brain Download Mom, tell the doctor what you told us.
All I remember is that dumb kid finding me outside.
[LAUGHS.]
I'm Tommy! She remembers.
Mr.
Pickles killed her, then revived her just to mess with me.
She's Steve, Mr.
Pickles' pet who lives under the dog hou Oh! Aah! Oopsie.
Maybe I was a clumsy person, but I don't remember.
Well, it seems your mother is not dead.
Oh, and she has amnesia.
Amnesia? Well, I think I'll go clean the gutters.
Stanley! You haven't said a word to mom.
Oh, uh, Agnes, hi.
Hey, maybe this place can help her remember! It can recover and record memories for free! - Huh? - Great, then we can all see where Agnes has really been! [LAUGHS.]
[WHINES.]
Wow! Oh.
[LAUGHS.]
Well, I'm gonna go buy some new socks.
Hi, folks! I'm Ace, the manager here at M, The Memory Download Store! What if you could remember where you put that wig of yours?! Or want to prove to mom you did brush your teeth? Maybe you just want to watch some old memories to remember why you ever got married, all for free? Who's down to download today, hmm? - My grandma! - Uh But she has amnesty! Amnesia? Forget about it.
[CHUCKLES.]
M's process even downloads lost memories.
- It's going down load.
- Wait.
[YELLING.]
[GROWLING.]
Stop, boy! He's going down on grandma! And boo-yah! Her memories are recovered! - [WHINES.]
- Yay! Now we can watch her memories! But some memories should be private, even if I don't remember anything.
That's right! Everybody is hiding shameful memories, so I'm gonna upload all her shameful memories online for the world to see.
Unless you pay me $50,000 by the end of the day! - What? - You're blackmailing us? Yeah, you and everybody else.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, no! The whole town is in trouble! Don't worry, grandma, I know who can help.
Come on, Mr.
Pickles! [KNOCKING.]
Oh, Tommy.
I thought you were the delivery guy bringing me fish.
- Fish? - No, thanks, Blade.
I know you're good at computers, and I need your help! M has set up operations nationwide.
These guys are the best hackers alive, but I could hack into Ace's computer and delete his memory files remotely.
- Fish? - No, thanks.
You hear that? He can delete the memories.
Oh, no.
He's coded each file, so that, to delete them, I would have to download them back into their original brains.
Sorry, I cannot help y-y-y-y-y-you.
Lewis! I told you to stop buying all these fish online! They're clogging up the toilet! Grandma, I told you to call me Blade.
When are you gonna give up this hacker thing and grow up, Lewis? What a cunt-tinuously annoying woman.
Fish? No, thanks.
Come on, boy.
[WHINES.]
Oh, wait.
What are we doing? I will download the files into your brain, thus deleting the memories from Ace's computer.
The files are deleting.
When you're good, you are good.
[YELLING.]
Sir, what are you doing? I don't want to know that! Ow, my head's hurting! My head, stop! Stopping mid-transfer could cause brain failure.
It must be stopped from the original source.
Fish? Hey, we got your money! Hey, what the hell's happening to my computer? Why are my files deleting? Hey, what do you want, you stupid dog? Hey, what are you No! Hey, you broke my computer! [PANTING.]
Error, error, now transferring entire M database.
Ace, what's happening to your computer? All of M's memory files are deleting and being transferred into some kid's brain! You're the only hacker alive who knows how to get the memories out of that kid! Ace?! [WHINES.]
[SCREAMING.]
Oh, no.
It's rapidly downloading the entire country's memories.
TOMMY: I know too much! [PANTING.]
Are you okay? [DEEP VOICE.]
Uhh, I think so.
And then, when I was 16, I wanted to be a ventriloquist, but you said, "If you're looking for a dummy, just look in the mirror.
" - Oh! - We didn't always get along.
Now we have a second chance.
Oh! I wish I could remember.
- She remembers! - Well, I'm gonna Hey, look, a spoon store.
Stanley, what is up with you?! La la la, spoons They'll never believe you, Henry! Mr.
Pickles [BARKS.]
showed me the way of the pavanastra sluganotharats.
[BARKS.]
I am forever Steve, and now that I'm home, I'm gonna help Mr.
Pickles make your life hell! [CACKLES, BARKS.]
Ugh, who cares? You want to make me look crazy? I'm used to it.
[BARKING.]
Oh! Hey, what are you doing? Help! He's forcing himself on me! - What? - Dad! This has gone too far! Oh.
Oh, no, I'm stuck! Now I'll never stop the town from being blackmailed.
- Aww.
- Lewis, I told you not to put fish in my waterbed anymore! That's it, you're moving out! Aww.
Wait.
Let's move out! Oh! Whoa! Aah! Lewis, get back here with my house! - [BARKS.]
- [BARKS.]
- [BARKS.]
- [BARKS.]
- [BARKS.]
- [BARKS.]
- Blade! Watch out! - Huh? Oh! Speeders! Oh, no, the po-po.
Hold on.
[SIREN WAILING.]
Aah! You in the house! Slow down, or I will shoot! I can't see with this stupid sign in the way! Oh, no, a dead end! - Slow down! - Rock and roll.
- Hey, I got your money! - $50,000! Where the hell is he? - Oh! - Whoa! [ALL GROANING.]
- Tommy? - Tommy? Hi, everybody! I've downloaded all of the memories into my brain so nobody has to be blackmailed.
Yeah, Tommy! Our memories are safe! [CHEERING.]
That's right! Some things should be private, 'cause if they weren't, everybody would know Mr.
BoJenkins wears women's clothes and spanks himself.
The sheriff was a kid who dressed his poops up like dolls.
- Aww.
- And my grandma laid naked with my dad.
[GASPS.]
Also, where my grandma has really been all these years is with [NORMAL VOICE.]
Oh.
What was I saying? Well, maybe I'll go get a haircut.
You laid naked with my mother?! Uh, it was dark.
Your mother crawled into bed.
But I knew it wasn't you when I smelled - Fish? - Uh, no thanks.
Is this true? Oh, of course it's true! [GASPS.]
But when I tried to screw Stanley, he acted like his family was so important! Ha! His stupid dreamer of a wife and his idiot son! Yay, grandma remembers me! - Agnes, how could you - Henry! I told you to call me St [BARKS.]
Oh! I've gotten carried away.
Don't be mad.
How could I not be mad? - No, don't kill me.
- [GROWLING.]
I'll do anything you want! Anythi Oh, Agnes! - Mom! - Delivery for Blade? Boy, this place was hard to find.
Oh! [GASPS.]
Now she's dead.
Ugh! What's happening? I can't see.
[BARKING.]
But destroying this is pointless.
I've backed up all the memories on the M satellite in outer space.
[WHINES.]
[INSECTS CHIRPING.]
Mr.
Pickles, I've got a bone to pick Agnes? Henry, I'm sorry I hurt you, but I'll always remember the time we made wild love in the back of your '57 Chevy.
I never had a '57 Chevy.
Oops, I wonder who that was.
Well, bye, Henry.
Huh? What the hell? [BARKING.]
It was so simple It was so much easier then Oh, Agnes! - [BARKS.]
- More Steves? What happened today? Where's grandma? She's going to a better place, Tommy.
Look, a shooting star! - [GASPS.]
Where? - Maybe that's your grandma.
[SCREAMING.]
Man, this is the weirdest memory yet.
No, don't kill me.
I'll do anything, anything.
Hey, what the hell is that? No more - Hi, Will.
- Hi, Dave.
Pickles" GRANDPA: It's Steve in the picture! - Who? - You know, Steve, the guardian of Mr.
Pickles' lair.
Ugh! Aah! My wife, Agnes, passed away years ago.
- Where is she? - Aah! An underground city? - Mr.
Pickles! - Ah! Where's Agnes?! Hello, Henry.
Aah! [GRUNTS.]
Aah! No, Agnes, get off of me! I told you, my name is Steve, and where do you think you're going, Henry?! [BARKS.]
To tell everybody the truth! [BOTH BARKING.]
[PANTING.]
Everybody, you're not gonna believe this, but Dad, wait! You're not gonna believe this.
- Wha - Mom is alive! Mr.
Pickles Good boy Dog People's best friend Die Pickles Mr.
Pickles! Here he comes There you are! Mr.
Pickles Good boy! S03E01 Brain Download Mom, tell the doctor what you told us.
All I remember is that dumb kid finding me outside.
[LAUGHS.]
I'm Tommy! She remembers.
Mr.
Pickles killed her, then revived her just to mess with me.
She's Steve, Mr.
Pickles' pet who lives under the dog hou Oh! Aah! Oopsie.
Maybe I was a clumsy person, but I don't remember.
Well, it seems your mother is not dead.
Oh, and she has amnesia.
Amnesia? Well, I think I'll go clean the gutters.
Stanley! You haven't said a word to mom.
Oh, uh, Agnes, hi.
Hey, maybe this place can help her remember! It can recover and record memories for free! - Huh? - Great, then we can all see where Agnes has really been! [LAUGHS.]
[WHINES.]
Wow! Oh.
[LAUGHS.]
Well, I'm gonna go buy some new socks.
Hi, folks! I'm Ace, the manager here at M, The Memory Download Store! What if you could remember where you put that wig of yours?! Or want to prove to mom you did brush your teeth? Maybe you just want to watch some old memories to remember why you ever got married, all for free? Who's down to download today, hmm? - My grandma! - Uh But she has amnesty! Amnesia? Forget about it.
[CHUCKLES.]
M's process even downloads lost memories.
- It's going down load.
- Wait.
[YELLING.]
[GROWLING.]
Stop, boy! He's going down on grandma! And boo-yah! Her memories are recovered! - [WHINES.]
- Yay! Now we can watch her memories! But some memories should be private, even if I don't remember anything.
That's right! Everybody is hiding shameful memories, so I'm gonna upload all her shameful memories online for the world to see.
Unless you pay me $50,000 by the end of the day! - What? - You're blackmailing us? Yeah, you and everybody else.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, no! The whole town is in trouble! Don't worry, grandma, I know who can help.
Come on, Mr.
Pickles! [KNOCKING.]
Oh, Tommy.
I thought you were the delivery guy bringing me fish.
- Fish? - No, thanks, Blade.
I know you're good at computers, and I need your help! M has set up operations nationwide.
These guys are the best hackers alive, but I could hack into Ace's computer and delete his memory files remotely.
- Fish? - No, thanks.
You hear that? He can delete the memories.
Oh, no.
He's coded each file, so that, to delete them, I would have to download them back into their original brains.
Sorry, I cannot help y-y-y-y-y-you.
Lewis! I told you to stop buying all these fish online! They're clogging up the toilet! Grandma, I told you to call me Blade.
When are you gonna give up this hacker thing and grow up, Lewis? What a cunt-tinuously annoying woman.
Fish? No, thanks.
Come on, boy.
[WHINES.]
Oh, wait.
What are we doing? I will download the files into your brain, thus deleting the memories from Ace's computer.
The files are deleting.
When you're good, you are good.
[YELLING.]
Sir, what are you doing? I don't want to know that! Ow, my head's hurting! My head, stop! Stopping mid-transfer could cause brain failure.
It must be stopped from the original source.
Fish? Hey, we got your money! Hey, what the hell's happening to my computer? Why are my files deleting? Hey, what do you want, you stupid dog? Hey, what are you No! Hey, you broke my computer! [PANTING.]
Error, error, now transferring entire M database.
Ace, what's happening to your computer? All of M's memory files are deleting and being transferred into some kid's brain! You're the only hacker alive who knows how to get the memories out of that kid! Ace?! [WHINES.]
[SCREAMING.]
Oh, no.
It's rapidly downloading the entire country's memories.
TOMMY: I know too much! [PANTING.]
Are you okay? [DEEP VOICE.]
Uhh, I think so.
And then, when I was 16, I wanted to be a ventriloquist, but you said, "If you're looking for a dummy, just look in the mirror.
" - Oh! - We didn't always get along.
Now we have a second chance.
Oh! I wish I could remember.
- She remembers! - Well, I'm gonna Hey, look, a spoon store.
Stanley, what is up with you?! La la la, spoons They'll never believe you, Henry! Mr.
Pickles [BARKS.]
showed me the way of the pavanastra sluganotharats.
[BARKS.]
I am forever Steve, and now that I'm home, I'm gonna help Mr.
Pickles make your life hell! [CACKLES, BARKS.]
Ugh, who cares? You want to make me look crazy? I'm used to it.
[BARKING.]
Oh! Hey, what are you doing? Help! He's forcing himself on me! - What? - Dad! This has gone too far! Oh.
Oh, no, I'm stuck! Now I'll never stop the town from being blackmailed.
- Aww.
- Lewis, I told you not to put fish in my waterbed anymore! That's it, you're moving out! Aww.
Wait.
Let's move out! Oh! Whoa! Aah! Lewis, get back here with my house! - [BARKS.]
- [BARKS.]
- [BARKS.]
- [BARKS.]
- [BARKS.]
- [BARKS.]
- Blade! Watch out! - Huh? Oh! Speeders! Oh, no, the po-po.
Hold on.
[SIREN WAILING.]
Aah! You in the house! Slow down, or I will shoot! I can't see with this stupid sign in the way! Oh, no, a dead end! - Slow down! - Rock and roll.
- Hey, I got your money! - $50,000! Where the hell is he? - Oh! - Whoa! [ALL GROANING.]
- Tommy? - Tommy? Hi, everybody! I've downloaded all of the memories into my brain so nobody has to be blackmailed.
Yeah, Tommy! Our memories are safe! [CHEERING.]
That's right! Some things should be private, 'cause if they weren't, everybody would know Mr.
BoJenkins wears women's clothes and spanks himself.
The sheriff was a kid who dressed his poops up like dolls.
- Aww.
- And my grandma laid naked with my dad.
[GASPS.]
Also, where my grandma has really been all these years is with [NORMAL VOICE.]
Oh.
What was I saying? Well, maybe I'll go get a haircut.
You laid naked with my mother?! Uh, it was dark.
Your mother crawled into bed.
But I knew it wasn't you when I smelled - Fish? - Uh, no thanks.
Is this true? Oh, of course it's true! [GASPS.]
But when I tried to screw Stanley, he acted like his family was so important! Ha! His stupid dreamer of a wife and his idiot son! Yay, grandma remembers me! - Agnes, how could you - Henry! I told you to call me St [BARKS.]
Oh! I've gotten carried away.
Don't be mad.
How could I not be mad? - No, don't kill me.
- [GROWLING.]
I'll do anything you want! Anythi Oh, Agnes! - Mom! - Delivery for Blade? Boy, this place was hard to find.
Oh! [GASPS.]
Now she's dead.
Ugh! What's happening? I can't see.
[BARKING.]
But destroying this is pointless.
I've backed up all the memories on the M satellite in outer space.
[WHINES.]
[INSECTS CHIRPING.]
Mr.
Pickles, I've got a bone to pick Agnes? Henry, I'm sorry I hurt you, but I'll always remember the time we made wild love in the back of your '57 Chevy.
I never had a '57 Chevy.
Oops, I wonder who that was.
Well, bye, Henry.
Huh? What the hell? [BARKING.]
It was so simple It was so much easier then Oh, Agnes! - [BARKS.]
- More Steves? What happened today? Where's grandma? She's going to a better place, Tommy.
Look, a shooting star! - [GASPS.]
Where? - Maybe that's your grandma.
[SCREAMING.]
Man, this is the weirdest memory yet.
No, don't kill me.
I'll do anything, anything.
Hey, what the hell is that? No more - Hi, Will.
- Hi, Dave.