Nurse Jackie s03e01 Episode Script

Previously on "Nurse Jackie" - Honey! - Mommy! I thought I'd swing by the hospital today, take you out to lunch.
Ugh, today's awful.
Can I take a rain check? It's been raining a lot lately.
Eddie, my back is killing me.
- For the pain.
- Oh, thank you.
- How are we on time? - We're good.
Just don't get fancy.
Family at home, boyfriend at work, making it back in time to be with husband pretty impressive.
Who is luckier than me? Everything's on your terms, Jackie.
"Eddie, my back hurts.
" Keep your fuckin' pills.
I don't need it.
- I don't need any of it.
- Good.
Ladies, this is Sam.
You know I dismissed him because he was whacked out on benzos? Maybe you don't wanna hire a nurse who's an addict.
Former addict.
What is hospital policy regarding drugs? Don't worry about it.
I'll take care of it.
Whoa, why so desperate? Do you wanna get your ass kicked? I'll give you a dollar if you don't go to work today.
I think I need to be with her.
Let me take care of her, okay? - I got it.
- Okay.
- Hey, honey.
- Hey.
Eddie.
I'm a friend of Kevin's.
You lie to me again, I tell him everything.
Eddie used to give me some oxy, you know, when it would get really bad.
- Ow! - Percocet? Yes, please.
Lenny is clearly into me.
The heart wants what the heart wants.
- You slept with my girlfriend.
- Yes, I did, my friend.
Fuck! He's totally wasted.
We have to keep him awake or he's gonna aspirate.
Why are you helping me? It would mean the world if I could set up a fund for the girls.
Take the money.
Get them an education.
You need to promise me that we're not gonna take that money.
Okay, I promise.
- Have you seen your new school? - Do I have a new school? Please don't do this.
- Seriously, Kevin, please.
- Dad, where are you going? Oh, Eddie, it's all crashing down around me.
- You're gonna be okay.
- Well, you know me.
Anyone who knows you knows they don't know you.
She give you a whole song and dance about her back? You can't believe a word she said.
I don't know whose M.
R.
I.
You saw, but it wasn't hers.
- You're a drug addict.
- It's okay, Jacks.
You have no idea what you're talking about.
Yeah, you know what? You're fuckin' pathetic, both of you.
Hi, my name is Jackie.
I'm a drug addict.
Blow me.
don't tell me not to live just sit and putter life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade.
don't tell me not to fly, I've simply got to if someone takes a spill, it's me and not you who told you you're allowed to rain on my parade? I'll march my band out I'll beat my drum and if I'm fanned out your turn at bat, sir at least i didn't fake it hat, sir I guess I didn't make it.
get ready for me, love, 'cause I'm a comer I simply gotta march, my heart's a drummer don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade.
I'm gonna live and live now get what I want, i know how - one roll for the whole shebang - Kevin! one throw, that bell will go clang .
- Kevin! - eye on the target and wham .
- Where the fuck are you? - one shot, one gunshot, and bam! .
- Is she gone? - That's a nice way to treat company.
O'Hara, really? You couldn't handle this yourself? This isn't about me, Jackie.
Here, take a look at this stuff, Kevin.
Well, we've got razors, fuckin' muscle relaxers.
Half the shit on here is school supplies.
Look, Gracie's ear-drops A hundred and ten fuckin' dollars.
Unless you wanna buy the generic crap, which I don't.
That's what this is.
I am not talking about ear-drops.
Okay, we got Ambien, Vicodin.
I don't fuckin' sleep, Kevin.
My body is falling apart.
What do you want from me, for fuck's sake? Call the cops.
Why aren't the girls here? They're fine.
- I don't keep secrets, Jackie.
- Kevin, neither do I.
Bullshit! The credit card.
Separate, not secret.
Separate.
Since when do I have to run every little fuckin' thing by you? When have we ever done things like that? When was the last time you bought your own razors? And you need a P.
O.
Box to do all that? You know what? Here.
Here, take the fuckin' key.
Answer the question, Jackie.
Why do you need a P.
O.
Box? No, forget it.
Not gonna believe a word.
- Doesn't matter.
- No, it doesn't matter.
You know why? Because I keep the house stocked.
That's my job because you can't manage money.
And by the way, what message are we sending Fi? "I'm sorry, you're just not quite as important as grace.
"We have money for her tuition, but not yours.
" It's tuition, Kevin! You find it! I should never have had to beg.
For God's sake, I sure as hell shouldn't have to sneak around.
She is your daughter! You know what? From now on buy your own fucking razors! I'm getting my kids.
Hi, guys! - Mom! - Did you have fun? - Yes.
- What did you have for dinner? - Bacon and snoballs.
- Bacon and snoballs? - Yippee! - And, oh my God, Aunt Tunie has a boyfriend that's a pilot.
Can I steal you a minute? This is entirely preemptive.
- There is nothing to be worried about.
- Already worried.
Don't be.
I've been doing this for 20 years, Gloria.
Parts of my body are giving out.
What are we preempting? I started leaning on painkillers.
It was a couple months, totally self-corrected.
This doesn't have anything to do with the Pill-o-matix, does it? No no, not at all.
Nothing like that.
My husband opened a credit card bill, he saw the pharmacy charges, that's it.
But he called O'Hara.
- Not good.
- No no no, not at all.
Not for anybody.
I'm fine, but he should not have called O'Hara.
Her family Like, drug addicts.
Like pump-your-stomach, die-in-your-sleep drug addicts, so she had a disproportionate reaction.
My husband feels like shit.
He had no clue what her deal was when he called her.
I don't know what you want me to do.
I don't know.
She might come in here.
And if she does, I would just ask that you take.
Whatever she says with a grain of salt, that's all.
Respect your sister, but consider the source.
I'm not sure what that means, but yes.
Jackie, if a co-worker so much as raises.
The specter of substance abuse, I am required by law to inform H.
R.
That's just the way it is.
- Fix it.
- Got it.
We knock, Dr.
Cooper.
I'm not working with Sam.
He caused me bodily harm.
- Zoey and what's-his-name - Thor.
Yeah, whatever.
They're in admitting.
- I want Jackie.
- Let's do it.
Can I come in? He wanted to see his brain.
I bet you are five.
My name is Jackie.
Your name's Peter, right? Wow.
It's up there good, buddy.
Mustang, nice.
What happened to your nose? My friend Sam didn't wanna share.
Mind if I give it a little tug, hmm? It's okay.
Nope, it doesn't wanna come out.
It's lodged in the sinus cavity.
Let's get a film and call E.
N.
T.
I'm afraid to mess with it.
Tried to look at your brain, huh? Done that.
Hey, Zoey, can you grab me some surgical booties? - You're kidding.
Surgery? - Huh? No.
Jeez, no.
New shoes.
I hate to scuff 'em up on the first day.
You know what? I can almost see it.
It looks like a very smart brain.
You guys in a hurry? All right, hang Hang tight a minute.
- Let's get him a scan.
- Nah, X-ray's okay.
X-ray's great, but he wanted to see his brain.
Show him his brain.
Using my powers for good Pretty tempting.
I like it a lot.
Hey, chief, I got a great idea.
I've worked desperately to cultivate a remote and heartless persona for this exact reason.
Well, no, actually, it comes quite naturally.
Point being, I suddenly am in the middle of something terribly private between Jackie and her husband.
- And you don't like it.
- Obviously.
And I would prefer that we didn't work the same shifts.
After 20 years' experience Jackie has earned the right to make her own schedule.
There are very few perks I can offer my nurses.
That's one of them.
So I've got to make other arrangements? If you feel strongly about it, yes.
Do you think he's right to be concerned? - Not sure I follow.
- Pretty sure you do.
He called you.
I'll, uh, let you know about the schedule.
The first lady fabulous, isn't she? Totally.
Here you go.
Electrolytes, trans-fat best hangover cure ever.
Thanks for not narcing on me, man.
I'm on probation.
Are you seeing this? God damn it.
What? - Lenny and I had sex.
- Nope.
- Oh, ew! - What? Y'all's uptight.
That's all I'm sayin'.
He's a neat freak.
Never saw that coming.
'Cause I'm more of a let-it-all-hang-out kind of partner.
Smooth like a gazelle, a very satisfied, sexy gazelle.
Who just rolled over and wants a cigarette.
You don't get to stifle me.
- Stifle away, ma'am.
- Oh, I will.
Listen up, people.
North General gone.
St.
Vincent's gone.
Lenox Hill Chopping block.
Hospitals come and go, but the sick and injured.
Keep getting sick and injured.
Jackie, get over here.
Closings equal diverted ambulances, more walk-ins, less insurance.
Bad on top of bad.
But there is one bright spot, even if it's just my bright spot.
All those nurses out of work, There's a lot of talent out on the street.
And I can pick 'em up for a song, which means We got it.
I got a guy who ingested three pints of purell and puked up his reglan.
So if you don't mind, I'm just gonna deal with that.
No, no one's excused.
You have to be on your game, all of you.
You will work the schedules you signed up for.
And probation will strictly be enforced.
Heads will roll.
If anybody finds out that I slipped I've got an axe I can drop on your head at any moment.
Why would I give that up? witnessed alert, crushed under a wall of boxes ton, ton and a half.
- It's gonna be okay, Tommy.
- Can you hear me, sir? - Sir? - I didn't know where he was.
I thought he was taking a nap.
I'm a fuckin' idiot.
His eyes are moving around.
- That's good, right? - He's in shock.
One, two, three.
That library What's it called? The one that's closing.
We were packing it up, moving things out to Kip's Bay.
I thought he was taking a nap.
Mr.
Finn? Hi.
I just wanted I keep thinking there are no broken bones.
So it's not like he snapped his neck or something.
No, but it's more the amount of time he was under the boxes.
As soon as they freed him, toxins were released into the bloodstream.
We haven't started on dialysis, but we're never gonna For what? Renal failure.
Kidneys.
We're trying to get him to the O.
R.
right now.
- So we can get the bleeding to stop.
- I'm a fuckin' idiot.
Do I call his mom? I need to get back in there, okay? We need to put you on a ventilator, Mr.
Finn.
Can you hear me? Tommy, your mom's on her way, okay? Everything's going to be all right.
- Respiratory failure.
- Yes, I can see that.
And there goes the heart.
I need a minute.
This is not survivable.
It's not.
It was finn & son before I even had him.
That's the truth.
He isn't gonna die before she gets here, is he? No, he's on life support.
'Cause she will fuckin' kill me.
It was like an hour and half, maybe two, and I'm getting more and more pissed 'cause I'm lugging boxes.
I'm thinking, "where is he? "Sleeping? Flirting?" Anybody else fired.
But he's my kid.
And he's not sleeping.
And he's not flirting.
He's pinned under two tons of books.
It's my kid.
He made me lunch.
- Are you hungry? - No, thanks.
Please? Thank you.
You got kids? You want to enroll her now? - Is that a problem? - No.
It's just that we usually have a preliminary meeting with both parents.
Well, we already did all that.
When we enrolled grace.
- Second child discount, yes? - Yes.
But we'd love to talk with your wife.
She's not available.
E.
R.
nurse, crazy hours.
From now on, I'd prefer if you dealt with me.
Regarding the girls, got it? - Yes, but your wife - What, Sister? My wife what? Let's do this.
I can pay half the tuition now.
There's an additional discount if you pay the full amount.
Half I can do half.
Split it up between these three.
And I need to be made the emergency contact for both girls.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- What are you doing? - Where is the paper tape? - Here.
- Oh.
Okay.
- Teriyaki wrap? - Uh Yeah yeah.
We probably We probably shouldn't be sharing meals.
Yeah, I know.
Oh, excellent! You're both here.
Yeah, no, actually Jackie was just leaving and No.
Here, this'll just take a sec.
Guess how much these shoes cost.
Come on, just give it a good guess.
Absolutely not.
All I remember was being really shit-faced.
And you and Jackie, like, tap danced for me? Yes yes, we did.
- Why? - To punish you.
- Watch out! - Oh my God.
You did not just mime a smoking gun and holster.
Why won't you let me talk to you.
About sexy time with Lenny? Because you call it sexy time.
He's much more oral than you'd expect.
Stop.
Sam, I have a sensitivity question.
- About boy piercings.
- Balls or shaft? - Don't encourage her.
- Shaft.
I should've let you die when I had the chance.
- May I help you? - I'm here to see Jackie Peyton.
- And you are? - Her husband.
- Jackie's not married.
- Yes, she is.
Would you be so kind as to.
Perhaps show me some I.
D.
, perhaps? Very photogenic.
- $17.
- No.
More, way more.
- $10,000.
- Okay, no.
You're not even trying.
Jackie, your husband is here to see you.
Low blow, Zoey.
No, come on, it's not like anyone married you either.
Jackie is married, you stupid fuckin' goat.
She is? Wait, you are? She is? Shit, man! I am having an "Aha" moment like you can't even believe.
Now I get it.
She was into me.
- She was into Eddie.
- Zoey! What? She was.
I highly doubt Jackie does it with just anyone.
- Zoey! - Dude! Dude! - I could be wrong.
- Dude! And the husband really good-looking.
Another brother's lady.
- Not cool, mister.
- You fucked Sam's girlfriend.
Clusterfudge.
I am out.
I can see why she keeps him locked away.
Can you lip-read? Mm, yikes.
Private.
Can you keep your voice down, Kevin? I had to show I.
D.
'Cause no one around here.
Even knows you're fucking married.
- God damn it, Jackie! - What, Zoey? Today is her first day, Kevin.
How the hell is she supposed to know? Jesus Christ.
I just laid out two grand For Fiona's tuition, all right? I'm paying every penny me.
- She starts Monday.
- Oh.
Does she know? Jackie, this is between you and me, right here.
Rough day.
You broke my heart, Jackie.
Hello? Is this Is this thing on? Hey.
Hello? Hello? Do you mind if I give it a shot? Tough crowd.
Hey, Pete, take a look at this thing.
Holy cow.
Now you see that part right over there? That is your curiosity.
That is very highly developed.
You should be very proud of that.
This part over here oh, that is why you are so popular.
That's the part where all your coolness is stored.
And this part down here, right on the bottom, that is what we call your common sense.
It looks to me, young man, like you are going to be a very smart guy.
You think you can handle that, Pete? Are you sure? That was awesome.
It was very nice to meet you, Pete.
Honestly, Zoey, it's not in my job description.
To keep track of you people.
- What's going on? - That was weird.
I asked where you were and she bit my head off.
- Oh, she lost somebody.
- Oh.
Were you there? Yeah.
- Go win it! Come on, go win it! - Let's go, move it.
Move it! - Let's go, get that point! - Tell 'em who's boss! - Come on, bro! - Man #2: Yo, show me where you live.
Take care of business, kev! Hot dogs! - Dad's at bat.
- Yeah.
Go, Kevin! Whoo, Kevin! Whoohoo! - Is this coke or Pepsi? - It's whatever you want it to be, honey.
- Hey, Kevin, check out that gap.
- You can do it, honey.
Did you lose something? Percocet, last one.
Mm.
Oh, come on, ump! Come on! That was high! It's right here.
Neck spasms.
Thank you.
That shit'll kill ya.
- It's gone! - Man #2: That baby's gone, man! - You gotta look for that one.
- Daddy! I love you, baby I love you, baby.